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#black friday musical

A song I want in Nerdy Prudes Must Die (if it’s the final Hatchetfield show):

A song filled with desperate hope of destroying the thing that’s causing the disasters across the different universes. Something like “From Now On” from The Greatest Showman, but darker. Kinda like “Ok, we’re done with this bs, we know what’s up, time to fuck shit up.”

OO maybe it could use prerecorded scenes that could be put up on a projector, starting out darker, but the stage lights build up! Lights flash onto each actor, having a segment to showcase each character’s versions, showcasing the different timelines of different characters mirroring the actors on stage! (E.g: Lex’s light flashes on as she’s got a few solo lines, the Lex in TGWDLM/BF are mirroring what NPMD Lex is doing.) And as the song progresses, it’s building in intensity to that burst of energy and hope and fear and satisfaction in the final chorus!! I feel like this song has potential to be kinda dance heavy?? When the burst actually happens, we could see some kind of physical stage effect like confetti or streamers or SOMETHING THAT BUILDS THE HYPE AS SOME KIND OF CYMBAL CRASH OR BIG MOMENT as the the projections come over the actors, and fade out, leaving the NPMD versions of the characters, almost in tears because they’ve found hope in something, they’ve made a decision to finally set their lives, and their other timeline lives straight! The song ends with them all in some kind of staggered V formation (it makes sense in my head), with Alice and Deb lets be honest the main characters of the show at the point of the V holding hands, and secondary cast staggered backwards in the V, looking pissed off but also strong and ready to take on whatever eldritch horror is out there. Stage blacks out in an instant. No fade, just black, right on the final note. Which would sound fuckign epic if it was a low note. Like, ok, we’re done waiting for things to fix themselves on their own. This is serious. Time to kill a bitch. Cut to intermission. I now have ideas for the beginning of act 2 but i’ll put that in another post if i ever decide to just ramble on stagung again.

I love staging. this is a mess i apologise.

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fandom: the guy who didn’t like musicals, black friday

summary: after emma dies, she starts to see things. set after the events of tgwdlm

warnings: swearing, references/mentions of death

AO3

~

 Emma was floating. Or, not really floating. Just existing. In some sort of endless void.

 Emma felt something trickle down her chin. She wearily touched it, and pulled her fingers away to see a glimmering blue substance on her fingertips.

 Ah. So she was basically dead.

 “Great,” Emma muttered, shuddering. It wasn’t cold in the void per se, but it still sent chills down her spine. She had a feeling she wasn’t alone.

 Emma was seeing things. There was the darkness, but just in front of that, she saw destruction of a familiar small town located on an island. And the destruction of it several times more.

 “Can you see them too?”

 Emma tensed. She couldn’t see Paul, but she didn’t have to. She knew his voice. She would know it anywhere, even as she viewed the visions flashing before her eyes, as she heard it mixed in with the voices of others.

 “Yeah,” she said, wiping the blue shit on her shirt. “What are they?” she asked. “Are these all… Hatchetfield?”

 A hand rested on Emma’s shoulder. She looked up–sure enough, Paul was there. But it wasn’t the alien-possessed Paul she had seen before she died. It was      Paul    , his actual, human self, his signature look of worry and discomfort on his face. Emma let herself relax under his touch.

 “It is,” he said. “As far as I can tell though, they’re not really… the same Hatchetfields.”

 “Alternate universes, timelines and shit?”

 “Seems like it.”

 Innocent bystanders joining a cult of rabid followers of an eldritch god, or resisting and getting torn apart by them. A bomb descending onto the town, decimating it completely. Emma as the Hive slowly descended on her, ready to make her one of them, with people laughing as if her plight were one big comedic final act. A thousand other possibilities all cramming into her brain, none happy, none hopeful, none ending well.

 “It always ends like this?” Emma’s hand drifted up to Paul’s resting on her shoulder and clutched it. “With everyone just dying?”

 “In the ones we’ve seen so far.” Paul gripped her hand tighter back. “There could be a single outcome where everything turns out fine, but I haven’t found it.”

 “That fucking sucks.”

 “Yeah.” Paul chuckled softly, without amusement. Or maybe a little amusement, at how ridiculous the situation was. Emma sure found it so. Hatchetfield, with no happy ending whatsoever. Hatchetfield, always sure to end in misery and destruction. If you asked Emma, it was fucking absurd. Absurd to the highest degree.

 “It’s a pity, isn’t it?” Paul said.

 “Yeah,” Emma intoned. “Yeah, it is.”

 They were in the Black and White, and then, they weren’t.

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apffeeText

*btw the section for tgwdlm is much shorter than the one for black friday because it’s less new so more people have already said almost all there is to say about it i guess*

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals:
- in the first scene the same phone rings about 32/33 times wow (i counted)
- when charlotte is talking about sam singing in the shower, let it out plays real quiet and it’s cool
- i’ve always wondered what emma was gonna say before join us and die, and to me it seemed like she was gonna talk about paul’s crush on her and maybe reject him (she was acting remorseful, like she was sorry for being about to hurt his feelings maybe), idk if anyone tweeted nick lang about this yet but i wanna know
- emma seems to jinx herself every time she says “we made it” or along those lines, like in the helicopter she says “we got outta there!” and before inevitable she says “paul! we made it!”
- fuck nora :)

***

Black Friday:
- the sniggles deserve betterrrr also lauren sniggle <3
- mnfnmggghfht them <3 paulkinsss <3
- silent night playing while we enjoy paulkins
- “oH SHIT A BABY”
- emma has beanies shopping bags so she either still works there and brought snacks or she just went there with paul idk
- paul like “it’s christmas time in hatchetfield isn’t that fun” and im having flashbacks
- i love paul’s awkwardness but emma, he’s your boyfriend ok (ok? ok. ok.)
- emma copying bae like
- how does lauren turn into an entirely different person with emma and linda ik it’s acting but I CAN’T ENVISION THEM TOGETHER AS THE SAME PERSON
- if i think about videos and streams of lauren, it seems like emma’s personality is kinda similar to lauren’s own personality huh
- i think this part with emma and paul is so funny not just cause them and their wonderful delivery but also cause the paulkins content is more condensed in smaller amounts of time since they aren’t the protagonists anymore, so it’s more funny at once, while tgwdlm is probably more funny in total but it’s more spread out
- i love emma’s adorable laugh snort thing when tom tells her about the surprise it’s so lovable <3
- tom just getting in emma’s face when he says “he was sledding. WITH HIS MOTHER” ;-;
- they just sneak off while tom sings like
- what if emma has a different hairstyle in each musical? anyway lauren is so pretty no matter what her hairstyle is but her hair looks even more amazing down in general, i should probably stop now or i’ll keep rambling on about lauren
- but like lauren and jon are so cool i’m just more attracted to lauren in general but they’re probably my two favourite starkid and YES I AM BIASED, SO WHAT?
- tom teleports to the parking lot of the mall during what tim wants
- tom: what tim want? tim: JUST ASK ME WHAT I WANT
- why does linda look over when sherman says “omg its becky barnes” like u just spoke to her and hate her guts lmao why do u care
-adore me plays when linda belittles becky bout stanley
-webby: hey hannah do the thing ethan’s doing with his hands hannah: *does it and gets scolded* webby: *wHeEEeEzeee*
- paul in wdywp “i want what everyone wants, money, a partner, kids someday, maybe..” and linda talking to wiley “i want what everyone wants, to be loved”
- linda is holding one of her boots, why did one come off? the camera doesn’t show below her waist while she’s talking to wiley so idk
- lauren lopez as jingle the elf doing a bugette voice is attractive as hell
- tom: “i’d do anything for him” me: awwww thats sweet! tom: “even if it means pounding the guts outta some little twerp!” me: :/
- what would happen if tom managed to give the doll to tim? tom: take this doll son. tim: i don’t want that lmao? tom: W-WHAT? tim: i want u but ur distant and sad now :c tom: :‘o
- sHE’S hEaVY! D:
- do ya think it’s a coincidence that wiley AND xander call the president the nickname howie? maybe xanders dead and this is a fake idk lol
- the sniggles are still cute in made in america (especially lauren sniggle) and lauren looks so good with her hair like that actually her hair always looks good why DOES HER HAIR ALWAYS LOOK SO GOOD AND HER NOSE AND (this is just a rant about lauren now whoops)
- at 1:42:55 when wiggly is talking to john the “look what happens nightmare time” riff (i think its a riff) plays hmmmmm; also someone else mentioned how the light in not your seed is green, so i think grace chasity (yeah apparently it’s chasity) is the connecting thread in all these things and since she is likely the protag in npmd its probably important. oh also maybe grace and jane are connected somehow? idk just trying to think of stuff that could be in npmd
- when wiggly gasps after his hiccup laugh thing it’s so uncomfortable and creepy i love it good job jon!
- you have pOonies?? - i threw em in the FUCKING TRASH! - you killed the pOoNIES!
-“she can go on her own” NO LEX HANNAH NEEDS YOU ;o;
-lex: reach? like this? *gun flies towards her and smacks her in the nose* ARGH!
- lex: patiently waiting for tom to finish singing
- i remember something about either the song a meteor hits or just the wiggly jingle scratch track or something being to the tune of if i fail you, so thats cool
- jon is so damn feral as gary and it’s wonderful i’m having so much fun
- gerald’s such a good dramatic device
- she’s drunk AGAIN? what would you know about becky being drunk linda? im imagining drunk becky and linda talking in a bar idk how else linda would know about that eh
- behold the wonderful shriek of lauren lopez
- i can sing the range of adore me and califorMIA since im an alto and yet lauren can do her high octaves as well as my own comfotable octave she’s just destroying the song wiggle and my belief in what singing ability i have with her TALENT!!!
- *obnoxious laugh* bECkY BaRNeS!
- lets just appreciate jon and lauren sneaking off stage and doing a quick change into their paul and emma outfits in like 40 SECONDS WHAT also everyone else saying their lines slower so they had more time to quick change
- “taaahm?” (i love lauren’s midwestern accent)
- emma and tom never got to talk about jane :’( but also her grateful little smile when he says it and ghfighdfisdfskh emma and paul <3
- why does emma always want to go to hidgens tho lmao like how trustworthy is he really? aw but i guess emma doesn’t have anyone else in hatchetfield except paul and jane’s family :’(
- PAUL SMILING AT EMMA TO COMFORT HER AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH (2:14:02) like i don’t mind about how well lauren and jon know each other because their acting is so good that it gets me so invested in paulkins <333333333333333
- i wanna see the paulkins hug D:< i can just see emma in her cute ass bobble beanie hat thing coming over and then the camera pans away WHY
- i love that at the end everyone’s just squinting at the sky in confusion and paul’s just doing a bug-eye face of shock like O-O
- ok at the end of tgwdlm it was sad and scary that emma was still in character and screaming for help but i’m just imagining as everyone bows in a line emma just screaming and staggering around again even though this is black friday and it would be really weird but my brain’s also weird
- tim died alone in the car :(
- fuck nora

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What is it about Emma’s Cabbage Patch Kid rant at the beginning of Black Friday that makes it so consistently funny on every rewatch? The politicians threatening each other over the Wiggly doll was a fucking one-hit K.O. the first couple of times, and it’s still hilarious now, but it doesn’t hit as hard as it did the first few times. “OOOH! RIGHT IN THE SUBPOENA!” made me laugh so hard the first time I watched it that I had to pause the video, but now it just gets a mild chuckle out of me. And yet Emma half-heartedly saying “oH shit, a baby! i wAAAnted a salad, but Now I Have A Child ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” still manages to make me lose my shit.

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image

YES call my attorney!

thank you to anon for sending me your request, and I appreciate your enthusiasm lmao

I have one request slot left! As usual, if you’re interested, send me your favorite your hatchetfield-verse character and I’ll draw the first one I get! Paul, Hannah, Gary, Howard and obviously Linda have been completed, and Hot Chocolate Boy, Ethan, Alice, and Becky are coming up next, so any other character is fair game.

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