Being guilty for saying no is like being ashamed for existing, having feelings, emotions and your own life.
NEVER apologize for being you.
When you do something that makes you happy and excited, Do more of it. When it drains and depletes you, Dismiss It out your life.
It’s not about them it’s about protecting your energy.
🐚♡Welcome to my blog🐚♡
My nickname is Cay! I’m a black nerd whose obsessed with mermaids and the ocean.
I also love photography, reading, anime, plushies, animal crossing, & art.
My blog is a mix with mermaids, fandom, moodboards, head canons, dark academia, and more content.
Also a safe place for black people and poc of all kinds!
- My mood-boards always portray black people in cute scenarios so check those out. Feel free to suggest sum, I’m happy to do them. :-)
♡ Completely sfw all ages are welcome ♡
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What’s in My “Black Girl Magic” Potion?
As I was reflecting on this question, I realized creating a black girl potion encapsulates multiple sides of black womanhood. I classified this in two ways: the good and the bad. I first thought of the sanguine parts that make up a black girl (which seems like the standard route), but I also considered what I’d include as tools for survival. While this is a small distinction, I’d still like to explore both interpretations by guessing what most black girl potions include. “Black Enough” left us with the message that there is no one answer. While I can try to generalize as much as possible, it’s still going to be confounded by my personal experience. As a light-skinned black woman who has benefitted from both colorism and proximity-to-whiteness privilege, there’s an immense amount of unlearning and relearning required to make sure my idea of what makes a black girl doesn’t impose harmful and unrealistic expectations on other women. All that to say, I’ll do my very best.
When thinking of what makes a black girl, the primary elements I’d include are passion and swagger. I’ve never met a black woman who wasn’t passionate about something, and I think this is the origin of many traits associated with black girl magic (drive, creativity, confidence, etc). In breaking the monolith stereotype, we can point to how broad our passions are. We have passions that span every subject and are somehow always reinventing them. Swagger (or swag) may seem like an interesting choice, but black women are quite literally the blueprint because we engage in our passions with a certain charisma. The idea of swag tends to be narrow, but I think once we find our niche we mesmerize and inspire others. That seems like swag to me. These two elements are demonstrated in countless ways, so when grouped together it truly seems magical.
The other approach I wanted to take may be slightly less empowering but is still very important when evaluating our conception of black girl magic. It honestly feels like a miracle that black women can survive in this world created to break us down at every turn. Part of the magic to those who don’t experience our struggles stems from a place of admiration for our perseverance. We can’t thrive unless we survive, so my potion needs the basics necessary for existing in our society. In this respect, strength and resilience are my main ingredients. I have conflicting feelings about this, to be honest. I’ve talked before about how these traits are weaponized against us so that we don’t receive the time or space to heal and grow, but the reality is we develop them eventually. (Also side note: “weaponize” is apparently my favorite word because I’ve now used it in every blog post). These characteristics aren’t instilled in every group, so while we often gain them through negative experiences it’s remarkable that we do so quickly.
In my opinion, the magic we have is a culmination of the collective good and bad we undergo. I’m not promoting that everything we do is rooted in our trauma, but we’re not at a point where they can be completely separated. Everyone’s black girl magic potion is different, but we should be proud of these foundational elements that connect us. I know I am.
So, what else is in my personal black girl magic potion? Just to give you a little taste of the good and bad: my mom’s advice that turns into hour-long rants, the south side of Chicago, my copy of Beyoncé’s “B’day” CD that I got for my sixth birthday, my volleyball hops, all six seasons of “Glee” – no matter how problematic, my personal salon record of 11 hours, my “white” voice, “That’s So Raven”, “Dreamgirls” the musical, being labeled an affirmative action admit, my loud ass laugh, the fact that I can’t do my edges, my jarring apple watch tan #melanin, fighting for sexual and reproductive justice for black women, and so many more seemingly small yet formative experiences.
– Kylin Adams
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So today I had a flare up and have been in pain all day.
My son has been throwing up all evening and I’ve literally had to say fuck my pain and focus on him until he finally fell asleep (at 1am).
I have work at 7am and I’m bout to pull an all nighter to finish this final paper for class because I refuse to deal with this shit beyond tomorrow.
I say all this to say...I’m such a fucking bad ass. I really need to pat myself on the back more often.
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