It’s Time to Go “No-Contact” with Your Mother
This is for you.
For the femme who has been receiving signs and signals to cut their mother off. For some of you, these signs have been going on since childhood.
You have a choice to make: continue to allow their energy & actions to negatively impact you (mentally & physically) which makes you their equal
OR
choose to respect yourself. Respect yourself by removing your presence from their lives.
You will feel uncomfortable, guilty but relieved.
The healing starts when you’ve stopped consuming toxicity (even listening to your (toxic) mother on the phone is consumption of toxicity)
Your absence is a form of accountability, something they’re not used to
Emotional detachment is a skill that will form or strengthen during the first year or so. It feels like wanting to release a child from punishment but you’re “standing your ground”. Parents act childish, therefore handle them with kid gloves.
You blossom into your womanhood without the input(or insults) of your mother.
Other family members expose their true colors during this time. Either taking their side or being inspired by your actions and going no-contact with their parents as well.
You’re able to empathize with them from afar.
Childhood memories, good and bad, resurface. Even if these memories are traumatic, now is the time to unpack them so you can understand your past (and current behaviors) a bit more.
Life becomes less…chaotic. Unstable. Scary (for those with paranoia mamas!). Literally as soon as you make that one & final step, your life becomes less “heavy”.
How to Go “No-Contact”
BLOCK!
This is a first & final step towards no-contact for many of you. All you have to do is cut communication and watch your peace of mind appear.
CHANGE OF ADDRESS
Move. Whether it’s out of their home or out of the country. They should have no idea where you live.
Do not give your address to anyone else (siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.). Set that boundary to avoid any inconveniences.
RESTRAINING ORDER
Sometimes it is that serious. If you’re able to, go to your local courthouse (or police department) and file a restraining order against your mother or parents.
Be honest with the judge and look for local organizations for services and a companion during the process.
SILENCE
I can confidently pay my mother dust without saying a word. I wish her a long healthy life but she is dead to me.
Take back your power by having the strength to solely rely on silence. That’s how you hit them where it really hurts: self reflection and consequences
Do not hesitate. Otherwise, you’ll wish you would’ve done so earlier!
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Shout out to me. I manage to take the blows that my mom throws my way. I’m really managing my BPD like a champ on a lot of days (thanks to my recovery tools).
What’d she do? Provide me critiques on my youtube. Things which in fact are just a part of how I am and would be very hard to change. And when I opposed she goes “do you have 1,000 followers” like I- ……how rude. But I gave a very minimal response and just said “do you?” (Still a work in progress so ya know I had to respond lmaoo)
But I didn’t let it get the best of me.
Her negativity won’t get the best of me.
Not if I have a say so. And guess what? I do.
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