#black widow incorrect quotes
Y/N: Did I die? Again?
Y/N, sees Natasha asleep next to them: Is this heaven?
Steve, knocking on the door: Hi, it’s Steve.
Y/N: Oh God, it’s hell.
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Nat, get a text from Y/n: Clint, I'm sorry but I have to go.
Clint: Yea, don't worry. Y/n need you. We can have coffee some other time.
Nat: How do you know it was her?
Clint: Hey, I'm a spy too! Plus, you're rushing. You never rush if it wasn't her. Not even Fury.
Nat smiling: I'll see you around.
Back at home.
Nat: Y/n, babe. I'm back! Where are you?
Y/n: In here!
Nat: I got your text. What's the emergency? The house seems, fine...
Y/n, sit on kitchen island: There! There not fine.
Nat, looking: Seriously? Babe, that's a little spider.
Y/n: Your point?
Y/n: Please get rid of it. Thank you and I love you.
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(Anytime that Natasha is upset)
Yelena: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
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Steve: you're ok with Y/N taking this 3 weeks mission?
Natasha: *scoff* I'm not a baby Steve I can live without Y/N
Steve: *sigh in relief* good because Y/N just left awhile ago. Well see you around Romanoff enjoy your week off.
*5 minutes later*
Wanda: Umm... Steve... Natasha is taking the quinjet...
Steve: What?! *took a radio* Romanoff where are you going? you don't have the authority to take the quinjet!
Natasha: I'll be joining Y/N in the mission.
Steve: but I thought-
Natasha: I'm a baby alright! *radio cuts*
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*Y/n quietly sneaking out of Wanda's room. She turned around in time to see Maria sneaking our of Natasha's room*
*They get interrupted by Valkyrie sneaking out of Carol's room. The three of them look at each other and Valkyrie lifts her finger to point at both girls*
Valkyrie: Not a word.
Y/n: You got it *Thumbs up*
*The three of them stood in front of the door's awkardly*
Maria: I guess... Goodnight?
Y/n: Sounds good to me.
*Nobody moves. Suddenly, the door of Bucky's room opened and Sam sneaked out*
Y/n, Valkyrie and Maria: *Whut*
*Tony door open's next and Steve sneakes out. He turns around and stays cold when everyone's eyes are on him*.
*Y/n openes her mouth but insteads openes the door and slowly walks back in Wanda's room*
Y/n: So Witchy, looks like I'll spend the night with ya :D
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Yelena: I invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game
Nat and Y/N nodding: Knife Monoply
Yelena: I was actually gonna hunt you for sport but now I'm interested in whatever the fuck knife Monopoly is
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* Y/N and Yelena skipping stones across a lake*
Y/N: wow it's such a beautiful night
Yelena: *whispering* take that you fucking lake
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Xu Wenwu: So, these are my ten rings of power. But did you know...there's actually a secret, eleventh ring that no one's ever seen before? Do you want to see it?
Ying Li: Ooohhh, show me!
Xu Wenwu: (gets down on one knee, presents a wedding ring to Ying Li)
(in the present day)
Xu Shang-Chi: ...and that's how my dad proposed to my mom.
Sam Wilson: Damn, that's crazy smooth. I like it.
Alexei Shostakov: Eh, I've done better. When I propose to Melina, I told her, "We go on mission to America and leader wants us to be married couple". And you know what her answer was?
(Shang-Chi and Sam shrug)
Alexei Shostakov: She said, "Sure, I guess". Very romantic.
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Natasha: So, everybody has to do everything you say this month because…?
Y/N exasperatedly: becauseeeee it’s June, June is pride month, which is MY month. That means if you say no to me, you’re being homophobic.
Natasha: I’m literally gay-
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Natasha: Where's Melina?
Yelena: Don't worry, I'll find her.
Yelena: *Shouting* Alexei sucks!
Melina: *Distantly* Alexei is the best person ever! Fuck you!
Yelena: Found her.
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Alexei: One year ago today I married my best friend.
Alexei: Nat and Yelena are still mad about it but Melina and I were drunk and thought it was funny.
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Natasha: Wanda asked me if she could move in.
Y/N: With the kids?
Natasha: No, she’s selling the kids with the house.
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Y/n: Mom, can I have a pet?
Melina: Ask Natasha. Mom got a headache.
Y/n: Nat, I asked mom but she told me to ask you. Can I have a pet? Please...
Natasha sigh: You barely take care of yourself. What pet?
Y/n: Can I have a raccoon? Your friend, Rocket seems cool.
Natasha: Absolutely not! Raccoon is not a pet. It eats garbage. No you can't have pet.
Y/n: Fine :(
Later that day..
Natasha: Wth! Why there's a racc- raccoon. Y/N! COME HERE THIS INSTANCE!
Y/n: What? What's the problem?
Natasha: I told you not to have a pet. Why there is a raccoon in the living room?!
Y/n: Yeah. But that's not a raccoon.
Natasha: You think I don't know how raccoon looks like young lady?
Y/n: That's not a raccoon. That's Fanny. You said I can't have raccoon so I colored it like one. 😬
Yelena: That's Fanny?! You colored MY DOG?!!!
Melina sip vodka: Whatever it is, I don't want to know.
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Yelena: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Melina: Yelena, no.
Melina: Please stop encouraging her.
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Yelena: *scrolling through Natasha's phone* you call Alexie daddy?
Natasha: *confusedly asked* Daddy?
Y/N: yes babygirl?
Alexie: what is it my princess?
Natasha: *looks at Y/N dumbfounded*
Yelena: *Trying hard not to laugh*
Alexie: *looks at Y/N and Natasha*
Melina: *threatening voice* Y/N.... what did you do to my little Natasha...
Y/N: It's Natasha's fault! she's too hot mama!
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Y/N: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done
Yelena: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real
Y/N: They're not
Yelena: Haha, very funny
Y/N: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?
Yelena: No... what happened?
Y/N: . . .Why would you fall for this again-
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Y/N: [sees yelena in their room chilling in their bed]
Y/N: ...I'm gonna have to start locking my door
Yelena: It was locked. I kicked it in.
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yelena, probably : all i'm saying is if a mosquito asked me nicely for some blood i'd be like "hey, sure thing i have a lot to go around" but the fact that they don't even ask and then they inject me with itchy juice... ARE YOU??? jUsT aSk
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Imagine this as if Yelena didn’t tell Natasha that she wants a dog before they stole a man’s car
Alexei: So girls, do you want family of your own?
Yelena/Natasha: I want a dog/cat
Melina: That’s sweet. What will you name them?
Natasha: You’re naming your dog after one of my alias?
Yelena: Yes. You’re naming your cat after the devil?
Natasha: Mhmm yeah
Yelena: That’s so cool!
If you liked this, you can check this out for more 100% canon quotes
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Dreykov: Be honest, do you like Alexei?
Melina: No, what gave you that idea?
Dreykov: *holds up lab report with A+M written all over it*
Melina: *snatching paper* it stands for arson and murder.
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