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notesfromthepalace · 8 months

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Vanilla Coconut

I don't mean to boast but I am a well-traveled woman and I know how it feels to be sought after by men from all Nationalities, okay.

And as said before, the Lord has sent me my African King so I am not looking for attention from other men or woman - I am beyond happy.

And as I write at one of my favorite places, "On My Mama" by Victoria Monet is playing - and I know I've been giving big body gyal and goals lately - "I look fly, I look good".

But back to being world-wide and highly sought after.

Prior to being with my Ghanian heart-throb, I have and have always been open to dating outside my culture and race, meaning dating men that are not Haitian, and also men who are not Black. Even now, with both he and I being Black, we're still of different cultures.

Friends, when I went to Europe at 19, the men were enamored. The hair, the curves, the skin, I was exotic to them.

Now, at 25, I understand some of it was the hyper-sexualization and fetishization of Black women, but for others, that were just mesmerized by the beauty, I allowed them to take me to fancy dinners and have amazing conversations about the world and everything glamorous and expensive.

Point being, I am not un-accustomed to they eyes of men that do not look like me.

Now, what I have noticed is you'll have men that are not black, but are well traveled and when they compliment you its:

"You are so beautiful"

Actually, it's always that.

But when it comes to American white men who are not from a diverse community - and you can tell their version of traveling is just being on guided tours and not immersing themselves in the culture of whatever country they're in, the compliments are either very racially insensitive or super "frat-boy" language:

"You're so hot" "You're so different" "I love how long and straight your hair is" "You're hot AF" "I always thought you were so hot"

Emphasis on the "hotness" thing right? That's how 16 year-old horny teenagers talk. And if I'm completely honest, after hearing it multiple times from the same person, especially with the statement being an assessment of just sex-appeal, it starts to make me feel a little uncomfortable just because I don't like being hyper-sexualized. And those comments usually come from a place of hyper-sexualization.

Sometimes it doesn't, but you mean to tell me that there are grown men who are well established who don't know how to talk to women?

Further more, there are women who are actually receptive to this type of dialogue?

*Bombastic side eye

Mind you, I am so messy when it comes to spilling the tea to the African Chief: I was literally on the phone with him telling him everything this man was telling me as he was slipping and sliding in my DM's, and still is - even after I said I had a boyfriend and that I'm not interested.

And of course, my Lover-man makes the joke "Oh, you thought you would get a man and other men would stop trying to get with you? No baby, you are a beautiful woman, men will always seek you".

Before I continue with the story, I just wanted to thank God for my man. He is truly a Godly man who understands that:

He is with a woman who loves him unconditionally - meaning I tell him these things because he's my man, but I am not going anywhere. He gives BIG HUSBAND BIG PROVIDER GREAT FATHER GREAT LEADER - and that's what I prayed for when I felt like I was ready to be with the love of my life.

He also understands that he is with a very desirable woman - meaning he's so secure in himself that he knows men will throw themselves at me because I am attractive. But he loves the fact that when we walk into places with me on his arm, we're the focus of the room - really me but we all get the point *wink wink

And we talked about it and from a Spiritual standpoint, the devil will always try to destroy good things. But my GOD is greater and rebuke all of that.

And even as I am writing this, this man is still in my DM's.

And yes, the Ghanian Protector will hear about this tonight.

But I thought this was just too juicy to keep to myself until the weekend.

Moral of the story is homie is giving single-white-female and the Ghanian King knows everything!

As always ladies,

Fall is here and it is time for the oranges and yellows, boots and coats, and smoky eye-shadow.

With love, a little shade and tea,

Sarah Chanel

bisous

#black women #black women in luxury #luxuriousbw #luxury #black love #relationships #black femininity #blackwomen #black women in leisure #interracial dating #dating #black women dating #african men #haitianwomen

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bougieblkbimbo · 11 months

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nowadays it’s not worth sleeping with a man that’s not committed and invested in you. there’s no point of getting emotionally attached to someone who just uses you as an object. it hurts when you only went off of the idea of the person. plus you really have to vet someone before you sleep with them. especially nowadays because men don’t want to commit and have as many options possible it’s pointless to deal with them. we gotta be super picky. i’ve dealt with people out of low self esteem and feeling lonely and desperate and that’s all i saw my mom do growing up and i realized that can get you in trouble. nothing is wrong with being single. have things going for yourself, fix your traumas, get to know yourself.

as someone who’s been told my whole life my phenotype isn’t “preferred “ amongst men, constantly being rejected as a kid, as just people overall bullying me for my looks because i don’t fit European beauty standards, I acted out in desperate ways not even realizing i was used and none of those men really wanted me and never wanted to invest in me. the feeling of being chosen and picked doesn’t even upset me as much nowadays because i want a certain type of man and i’m going to be a certain type of woman. i’ve learned that self love is the best love and happiness can only come from you.

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mauvefiles · 11 months

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When a woman is consistently spoken to softly & treated gently, she becomes a new woman. You're helping her heal her nervous system, you're helping her heal generational trauma, you're allowing her feminine energy to flourish, you're helping her to remember who she is.

#black women in femininity #goddess energy #black femininity #hypergamy #high value dating #dating advice #relationship advice #self confidence

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foreverrryourssss · 2 months

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melaninadorned · 2 months

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Museum Meetup - Date Night | Melanin Adorned

#melanin poppin #black tumblr #melanin #museum life #museum lover #black women #date night #bucket hat

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tryingating · 2 years

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i met this guy a while ago and he stood me up on our second planned meeting around my birthday and I never heard from him again...

as bizarre and wrong that it is im not even that mad i got stood

yes, i really want to know what happened that because he texted me first saying he was excited to meet again then radio silence which is so unlike him...

im madder about the qualities he exposed me to and then left, I’ve never felt that way about a man before, sadly not even the guy I almost married...

he was the right person for the right time and I know what type of career i want my partner to have that’s compatible for my life and his was a perfect fit...

i hope his only purpose in my life wasn’t to just raise my standards in men, i would really like to meet him again someday if its right, if not i can live with that but it would hurt...

im tired of the failed love attempts, I just want another breath of fresh air like he was to me

he checked so many boxes for me

#txt #my dreams #sick of the bullshit #black women dating #dating while black #black womanhood #depressed black woman #this shit is a drag #i just want to hug him

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hersoul-exclusif · 11 months

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