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imdoingaokay · 2 years

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Romances + Varric react to getting a spicy picture from The Inquisitor

I wanted to say that this takes place after the original events of Inquisition, so Corpheshit is dead lol. This also means that Solas dipped but as a little treat, I added him and Varric at the bottom for the simps.

Also, I know that the idea of getting a portrait is a little strange, so my apologies if this isn't lore-friendly, I just wanted to have some self-indulgent, slightly slutty fluff.

Slight NSFW under the cut. Nothing explicit, but it's heavily implied.

In a back corner of Val Royeaux, there was a small, but popular painter. One who was well known for creating gorgeous portraits of the lords and ladies of the Orlesian court. However, their specialties did not end there, as they became famous for their more scandalous portraits. They were small, able to fit inside one’s pocket, but the detail was exquisite. Leliana had been the one to suggest it to the Inquisitor, after reminding them of how sad their lover looked when they were gone.

The Inquisitor had planned to give the tasteful image to their lover almost immediately but was sidetracked when duty called. So, with a few reports sent to the advisors, a small message had been sent to The Inquisitor’s lover. Within the parchment lay a plethora of flowery words and compliments, and a rather explicit portrait of The Inquisitor.

Blackwall/Thom Rainer: He had been busying himself with a new wood project, and was very pleased to have a momentary distraction when a messenger came by to deliver the letter. He sighed as he sat down on a nearby haybale, and proceeded to open the wax seal.

Then he saw his Inquisitor.

His jaw nearly dropped, and he quickly hid it so he could read the letter his love had so… kindly crafted.

However, Rainer felt his eyes drift to the portrait he had been hiding as he read. He quickly checks his surroundings, making sure there aren’t any passersby that might steal a glance at his lover. Once he deems the coast as clear, he stares at the small picture, running his fingers over the piece. He eventually forces himself to tear his gaze away and quickly finds a more suitable place to hide his treasure. He returns to work without anyone noticing his flustered face, however, his thoughts are filled with The Inquisitor.

That evening, he relieves any tension he has, but waits eagerly for his love’s arrival back to Skyhold so he can properly welcome them. After all, they gave him such a kind gift, he must give them one in return, right?

Cassandra: Cassandra was caught off guard to put it lightly. She was meeting with a few new recruits and testing their sword arm, but then was sidetracked when a messenger came by with a letter from her lover.

She hid her excitement fairly well, but she still called for a short break while she read.

To say her jaw dropped would be an understatement.

She is so surprised, she actually tells the recruits that they are done for the day, telling them to go get something to eat. All the while, her eyes are wide and her hand grips the parchment for dear life.

After excusing herself, she reads the letter while internally screaming.

It takes about an hour before she properly collects herself, and even then, she needs to take a quick break from work to formulate the perfect response to her Inquisitor. Luckily, when her lover appears the next day, she is able to display her thankfulness with actions rather than words.

Cullen Rutherford: Poor Cullen. The commander had been in the middle of ordering his troops to scour and spot any remaining rifts in Orlais, as his lover had been closing them the best they could. So when a messenger came in, giving the commander a letter, he had assumed it was a report from his lover about their adventure. He begins to silently read the letter before closing it, telling his soldiers that “that will be all” before waiting for them to leave. He then proceededs to fall into his chair and desperately open the letter. His breath is ragged, and his face is flushed red as he reads, only to stop when he finally notices the portrait.

“Maker’s breath…”

Any sense of decorum is thrown out the window once he sees that. As he grabs his lover’s letter and climbs the ladder to his bedroom. That night, he doesn’t get much work done, but he notices that he doesn’t have any nightmares that evening.

He attempts to write a response to his lover, but somehow can’t. At least, not with the same level of passion that they gave him. The best he can write is a “thank you” before he finds himself to flustered to continue.

Thank the Maker for how soon his Inquisitor returns. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to thank his lover with words, so instead, after the advisors meet for their designated post-adventure meeting, Cullen pulls his lover aside. Of course, he can’t hold himself back, so he ends up pushing his lover against the door to kiss them. By the time they part, both of them are breathless.

“The portrait… thank you.” He says quietly, before melting into his Inquisitor, burying his face into their neck.

The two spend the rest of the day together, as Cullen made sure he finished any work that needed to be done that morning. But, for once, he truly can’t focus on anything else aside from his Inquisitor.

Dorian Pavus: Getting a gift from his Amatus had been the highlight of his day. He was busy in Tevinter, meeting with a few rebellious mages and quietly discussing the nature of their futures. And whether he wished to admit it or not, he missed his lover more than anything else.

So when a messenger had kindly given him a letter from said Inquisitor, he was overjoyed. He fiddled with the corners of the letter until he made his way into his room, and carefully opened it up.

He was thankful he was in his room, because the portrait fell to the floor, face up.

He raised an eyebrow and picked up his gift, studying for a quick second before a laugh erupted from his throat.

He reads the letter, stealing glances at his lover’s portrait. And soon enough, he’s writing a response, a very filthy one at that. He even suggests getting a portrait done of himself for his lover and finishes the letter thanking his Inquisitor for the kind gift, and how eagerly he intends to use it.

Iron Bull: Iron Bull keeps his cool better than anyone else, continuing to speak to Krem while he reads the letter his lover sent to him. Eventually, he is able to excuse himself so he can relieve himself. Of course, he’s grinning the entire time, thinking of how he could possibly return the favor for his lover.

He keeps the image in his pocket, patting it every once in a while to ensure it’s still with him, despite knowing for a fact that it is. Bull would be able to tell if someone was trying to pickpocket him.

Whenever his Inquisitor returns, he has just enough restraint to allow them to report to their advisors, but the second they’re finished, he orders them upstairs.

Whatever they get up to, nobody knows for certain, but a few people can guess when The Inquisitor has trouble walking for the next few days.

Josephine Montilyet: She was in the middle of a meeting, speaking with several nobles from Antiva. So when her attention was redirected from dazzling them with the Inquisition to a letter given to her by her lover, she paused for a moment. She placed the letter within a drawer in her desk, and promptly forgot about it. Not on purpose, of course, she was just busy. She was never able to find a moment to open said letter up.

It was until The Inquisitor showed back up that she remembered the letter. It was still dark out when she sleepily crept into her office, having woken up restlessly.

The Inquisitor had just returned a few hours ago, and was sleeping upstairs. So Josephine decided to finally read the letter her love gave her.

When she saw the contents of the letter, and Maker, the portrait…

She woke up fully.

She hurried up the stairs to her lover’s room, ignoring any sense of decorum, and was surprised to see her lover already up. With a grin, Josephine thanked her lover before offering to show her appreciation.

They could sleep later, right then, Josephine wanted her Inquisitor.

Sera: She knows she can’t. She knows that if she did, Inky’s name would be soiled for the rest of time.

But she wants to do it so terribly bad.

She wants to show it to everyone, Josephine, Iron Bull, Rainer, and she really wants to show it to Vivienne. She wants to rub it in her face, wants to giggle and dance, and show everyone in Skyhold.

But she doesn’t. Because she loves her Inky, and she knows the consequences of her doing something like that.

So she keeps it hidden, nestled in a corner of her room where nobody would guess to look. And she waits patiently for her Inky to return back so she can smother them with kisses and spend the night with them, talking nonstop about how naughty they were and how much Sera thought of them while they were gone.

Bonus:

Solas: Solas is the one who paints them. The two spent one night in the Inquisitor’s room talking about various things, Solas telling stories of his adventures in The Fade, The Inquisitor telling him of their most recent adventure. The pair had been sipping from an old Orlesian wine that a noble had given The Inquisitor. And Solas offered to paint his love. But, not just a portrait, something more… intimate.

A few hours passed of held gazes and light touches, Solas unable to focus on much else but his lover. It’s a wonder that he even finished.

He shows his vhenan his creation, smirking at their happiness before placing it face down on The Inquisitor’s desk while he focused entirely on his Inquisitor. That night he broke a rule of his, to not lay with his vhenan under false pretenses. But as he stroked the arm of his lover, watching them sleep so peacefully, he thought that… maybe he could break a few rules… for them.

Varric Tethras: It had been a shitty day for Varric. Cassandra had been up his ass about this and that, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t find a spot for him to sit peacefully and write. And even when he found something close to suitable, he felt whatever creative juices he had dissipate into nothing.

So he was relieved to receive a letter from his love, more so when he saw the contents inside. He quickly angled himself in a way so nobody could see the scandalous picture his Inquisitor had given him.

“You might just be a better writer than me…” He mumbles quietly, chuckling to himself as he thinks of his lover coming up with the absolutely filthy, but still beautiful letter they wrote.

He places the portrait in a pocket of his, and finds himself able to write again, his own thoughts drowning out the noise around him. Of course, everything he writes is addressed to his Inquisitor as he begins to write his response.

The Inquisitor will want to return back to Skyhold soon, as Varric is rather excited to see them. Luckily, they don’t have to imagine what the pair will do, as Varric lovingly details it all down in one of the longest letters he’s ever written.

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