#blair soul eater | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bcbdrums · 4 months

Text

Just Another Saturday

My @sesecretsanta gift for @sharks833! I have attempted humor and I hope you'll enjoy!!!

Double-posted here and on AO3.

--------

It was Saturday. Soul knew this because it was the heat of the sun that woke him that morning rather than his alarm clock as it crested the opposing building on the street and sent its bright rays in through his window.

He absently felt for the cord of his blinds, twisting it to block out the offending light, and then rolled over with a satisfied sigh. Next to the pillow his fingers tapped out the rhythm of a jazz piece that he'd had stuck in his head for a few days as he let the comfortable feeling of the weekend slowly wake him up, starting with the smell of something sweet, doughy, and greasy coming from the kitchen.

Donuts. And something else. Was Maka making donuts?

The curiosity was almost enough to drag him up, but he would take a few extra minutes to laze in bed. And truly he could take as long as he wanted. It had been a long time since he'd been able to relax like this in the apartment and not be watching his back for witchy cats that had no sense of personal space.

There was a light rapping on his door.

"Knock knock!"

"Come in," Soul answered, sitting up and tugging at his t-shirt to straighten it.

Maka opened the door just enough to peek in with a cheery smile.

"If you sleep too long, it'll be lunch time," she teased.

"Aren't we going to Kid's place for lunch?"

"I'm surprised you remembered," Maka commented. "There's fresh donuts and omelets out here."

"I'm coming," Soul said with feigned annoyance as Maka walked away, leaving the door ajar. Soul hurried to get some pants on as the scents began to make his mouth water.

"Seems like you've been sleeping a lot better lately," Maka called back.

Soul smiled his agreement even though she couldn't see it. "Yeah, well when you don't have a crazy cat who belongs in a centerfold jumping on you in the morning..."

"I wonder what happened to her," was Maka's distant reply, and Soul considered the matter for himself. Their feline squatter had been gone for more than two months, and while they couldn't help but be concerned, frustrating hormones aside, she was still their cat.

"Do you think we should put up lost cat signs?" Maka continued as Soul passed from his bedroom into the kitchen. The tiny dinette set already had breakfast laid out for two, with napkins neatly folded under their forks and even a fresh-cut flower in a vase in the middle of the table. Soul took this in as he pondered Maka's words.

"Maybe, but should they have a picture of her as a cat or as a human?" he mused as he reached for the milk carton, but Maka beat him to it.

He sat down as she poured his glass for him, and an involuntary warmth found its way to his face. None of what Maka did was pampering, really. It was just normal stuff. And yet it made him feel like she was giving him special attention.

"Probably both..." Maka said as she put away the milk and joined Soul at the table, though her brow had pinched in the middle.

"I know which photo would get more attention," Soul added.

"Of course you would say that," Maka replied quickly, and Soul noticed her jaw had tensed. The warmth in his cheeks faded, but he was determined not to let irritation take its place. He kept his voice level as he continued.

"Maka, think about it. We put up a picture of Blair as a human with a really big phone number, and then underneath that we—"

"Never mind, we don't need posters," Maka interrupted. "Eat your donut before it gets cold."

Soul looked down at the plate. The omelet was near-perfect in both the folding and the even color of its cook. He could see tiny chopped pieces of bacon and scallion cooked into the egg, as well as shining ribbons where shredded cheese had been melted in during the last minute. He knew there was more stuff hidden in there, chopped finely the way he liked it.

The word pampering flitted through his head again but he set the thought aside as he looked at the glistening prize that sat next to the omelet. The donut was perfectly round and puffed—Kid would approve—and the translucent sugar glaze was still dripping warm down its curves.

Soul heard a slight smacking and looked up to where Maka had her pinky finger in her mouth, slowly sucking the sticky glaze off. He glanced to her plate where the donut showed a single bite taken, and then back up as she slowly licked her fingers clean one at a time, her smiling eyes fixed upon his.

Soul grabbed his fork and knife as the warmth returned to his cheeks like a flame.

And Maka thought Blair was a distraction.

"Sheesh, you don't have to eat so messy," he said, cutting into the donut and turning his nose up slightly as he forked a small, manageable piece into his mouth. His next words were muffled through his chewing. "Have a little class."

"And I should take lessons from you?" Maka said before making a second pass over each of her fingers. Soul caught a brief glimpse of her tongue before the pink of her lips sealed tightly around one finger to suck the remaining sugar off.

Soul glared down at his plate.

"If we wanna have a good time at Kid's later, you'd better remember some manners."

Before Maka could reply, a soft but clear mew stopped both of them in their thoughts. They made eye contact briefly before both rising from the table and hurrying toward the source of the sound, which was definitely Soul's bedroom.

Their rush through the doorway was abruptly halted as a very tiny kitten stood in the middle of the floor. It was very young, its eyes still baby blue and ears and paws too large for its body, and the over-long baby fur was a striking deep red. The tiny thing caught sight of them instantly, let out another mew, and began toddling toward them.

"Butternut!" a familiar voice called from somewhere nearby, but hidden low, "come back here!"

Maka and Soul watched the tiny kitten continue toward them, its pokey tail standing straight up as it lost its footing each time it tried to lift its eyes from the carpet to the two astonished humans, and then the source of the voice made herself known. Blair appeared from the dark recesses beneath Soul's bed and hurried to stop the kitten from wandering too far.

"Sorry!" she declared, looking up at Soul and Maka from under her hat. "I shouldn't have brought them here so young but it just wasn't safe anywhere else. They're getting too curious."

"'They'?" Soul said unnecessarily, the answer obvious, and then as if in reply four more tiny red balls of fur tottered out from under the bed after Blair.

"Meow! Well, I guess it's time for introductions! Meet Butternut, Sugar, Blaze, Harvest, and Jack. I named them all after pumpkins!"

Maka knelt down to receive the curious litter as they all scampered unsteadily forward, beginning to climb her jeans and up into her lap as she giggled. Soul stared in bewilderment, wondering when the tricky feline had sneaked the litter in without his knowing.

That question led to a flurry of secondary thoughts, wondering if there was now a mess under his bed that he needed to be concerned about and what on earth they were going to do with the litter as kittens reaching the mobile age with their claws would be the destruction of all his possessions.

"They're so sweet!" Maka declared, holding one up to her cheek to cuddle.

One of the kittens crawled atop Soul's sock-clad foot, and he sat on the bed to reach down and detach the tiny, needle-like claws that had gone into his skin.

"So this is where you've been... We'll have to get a bigger cat bed," Maka continued as Soul managed to remove the kitten from his foot only to have it somehow dig the claws of all four paws into his hand and wrist. It mewed in protest as he picked it up and tried to extricate himself, latching onto his arm instead.

"If she's gonna make a habit of this maybe we should get her fixed— Hey!"

One tiny claw ripped a red line across the top of Soul's forearm, red immediately appearing amid coarse white hairs, and he missed whatever it was Maka and Blair both said in opposition to his annoyed comment.

"Blair, can you get this uh...Butternut off of me?"

"That's Harvest," Blair said, hopping up on the bed and deftly picking the kitten off of Soul's arm with her teeth.

"Thanks," Soul said in relief, looking at the small dots of blood beginning to seep out in a line across his skin.

"So who's the lucky cat?" Maka said, taking the kitten from Blair and holding it up to her face. Soul marveled at how she could nuzzle the tiny creature without receiving a single scratch. It even gave her nose a curious lick, and Soul stared in exasperation. Maybe he just wasn't the type of person cats liked.

"A cat!?" Blair laughed, hopping into Soul's lap. In a flash she'd transformed, and Soul grunted as he was suddenly bearing all of her weight as she put her arms around him, his chin uncomfortably sat upon her ample bosom. She purred and rubbed her cheek to his as she continued. "Well, I suppose it could have been a cat. But that's not where my preferences lie."

Soul's mind had gone blank with the combined shock of the scratches, the sudden presence of the woman deeper in his personal space than he knew how to handle, and the implications of her words that by the look on Maka's face were clearly being interpreted exactly one way. And he found his tongue paralyzed to protest as her face went red and combustion was surely imminent.

"Soul!"

Her voice was rough as she screeched his name, a mixture of fury and horror.

"Maka!" he started to protest, but his words were cut off as Blair pushed her chest up into his face with a giggle. He suddenly found breathing to be as much a concern as explaining to Maka that she had it all wrong, that he would definitely remember if he had anything to do with the army of tiny daggers that were starting to make their way up his pant leg, mewing for their mother all the way.

"How could you!?" Maka fumed, looking near to tears even as she still cradled one of the kittens, her eyes darting between his face and the creature of dubious origin.

"No, you've got it all wrong!" he gasped as he tried to wriggle away from the cat-lady's grasp. "I've never—!"

His words were cut off as a book flew through the space between them and hit him square in the face. Blair let go with a small meow of surprise, shifting off of his lap, and Soul slid helplessly to the floor. His nose throbbed with hot pain from the impact and he blinked his vision back into focus as the kitten that had climbed his leg dug its claws into his thigh.

"Oww!" he finally whined, both in protest to the dangerous ball of fluff and for the frustration of the situation. Why did Blair have to vanish for two months only to come back and give Maka creepy ideas in less than a minute?

"Soul!" Maka said again, but this time her fury was laced with the cold edge of threat. Soul was torn between attempting another defense, fleeing, or simply accepting his fate despite the fact he was innocent.

But fate was kind as suddenly Blair spoke up and became his salvation.

"Oh, no silly. They're the spitting image of their father!"

Soul watched the blind rage fade from Maka's eyes to be slowly replaced by confusion. The kitten on his leg tumbled down into his lap and then to the floor, where it tottered over to join its siblings near his meister's folded knees. He stared dully at the kittens, faintly recalling the pumpkin-inspired names Blair had mentioned as his mind replayed her words and he really looked at the litter.

Spitting image of their father. Rich, very red fur.

Soul saw the realization hit Maka at the same moment it hit him, and their eyes met in shock.

"No... No way..." Soul said, completely disbelieving. Death Scythe may be a lot of things, but this...

"Meet your new siblings, Maka!" Blair said exuberantly, kneeling next to Soul to scoop up two of her brood and hold them up in front of the meister with a coy smile.

Soul's breath caught as he watched Maka's face, suddenly unable to read her expression. Her eyes had gone frighteningly void, but the slow furrowing of her brow and the tensing of her jaw signaled a rage far greater than what she had expressed toward him moments ago.

"Soul," she said crisply, her vocabulary having apparently been reduced to just his name.

Soul reached up to rub his aching nose, crossing his eyes to see the red mark appearing there. "So...should I call Kid and tell him lunch is off?"

Maka gently moved the kittens away from her and rose without a word to stalk out of the room. Soul simply stared after her until the feeling of claws against his foot startled him back to awareness.

Blair lifted the kitten away from him, for which he was grateful, but then cringed when she brought it up to her lips and gave a lick. He wondered, if they were truly part magic cat and part demon weapon, would they end up with powers and various transformational abilities?

The mental image of the kittens' claws turning into scythes caused him to lean even further away as Blair transformed back into a cat, seemingly having decided to bathe her brood.

"Soul." Maka's voice startled him from the doorway, and he turned to see that she had rapidly changed into her preferred battle attire. He knew what that meant.

"Or maybe I'll just send Kid a text message," he muttered as he stumbled to his feet as Maka turned to leave. A hoodie and headband would make him look more presentable, he thought, grabbing the two items as he scrambled after his meister.

He wished he'd had time to eat as his stomach began turning at the thought of the imminent confrontation with Death Scythe. And then as an afterthought after pushing his feet into his shoes, he grabbed the plate of donuts off the counter. It was going to be a very interesting weekend... He would take tiny pieces of relief where he could find them.

"Hey, Maka," he called as he hurried out of the apartment after her. "Do you want a donut?"

Back in the doorway of Soul's bedroom, Blair and the stumbling balls of gangly limbs were staring after the two humans in confusion.

"Meow? I thought she would like some siblings..."

Blair looked at her kittens and their fluffy red fur, assessing them as they played.

"Should I tell her about Fish-Shop Guy's red cat? I did have a lot of his catnip that night... Meowh-well, maybe later!"

#soul eater #soul eater fanfiction #soul evans #soul eater evans #maka albarn #soma #soul x maka #maka x soul #blair #blair the cat #blair soul eater #spirit albarn #death scythe #fish shop guy #humor #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #comedy

33 notes · View notes