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youresog0lden · 4 years

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Professor II Matthew Grey Gubler

Summary: you and your friend our out clubbing when you run into a very hot professor.

Warnings: Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Professor Kink, Cursing, The use of alcohol and drugs (Just weed.)

GIF NOT MINE

masterlist

WC: 2.5K

"At least I'm not high- Right now." I finished. She looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Speaking of being high, when is Adam going to be here?" I questioned. Adam our... or more specifically my dealer. I only asked him to bring me a little bit today. I didn't need to be half out of it at a bar. She let's out a long sigh. She knew she couldn't be mad she loved getting high as much as me. She just knew that it could get us in trouble from time to time.

"He should be here soon." she says before walking into her room.

"I love you." I called out knowing I already annoyed her for the night.

"The first round is on you tonight." she sighed.

"Yessss" I jumped up and down squealing like a little girl. She came out of her room quickly grabbing her phone.

I pressed the order button on my phone, ordering a uber.

"It will be here in about half an hour."

"Your eyes are really red." she laughs. For the next hour we we're down in our living room smoking a joint. I snort, causing her to laugh even harder. We we're now laughing at some kid we went to high school with.

"This could be bad publicity for the movie." she spoke softly. I laugh. Ah the movie. The one where I am supposed to be playing the innocent girl who falls in love with her professor. Who might I add is quite attractive. Matthew Grey Gubler. The classic professor. Everyone said that he would make a great one seeing as he played Spencer Reid on Criminal Mind.

"It doesn't matter. I'm just living my life. They shouldn't fire me because I drink and smoke. I told them before I started that I smoke and drink they said as long as I didn't show up high or anything they could give less or a flying fuck." I hiccup. She nods.

"Uber's here." I say taking one last look in the mirror. I was wearing a black skin tight dress with thin straps and red heels. Jessie was wearing a red skin tight black dress with this straps and black heels. We both grab out bags of the hooks and keys. I lock the door as she goes to the Uber. We both get in being taken off to our favorite bar. Finally arriving we thank our driver and make our way into the bar showing our ID. It was truly one of my favorites from the dancing floor to the table to the staff. It never smelled like sweaty bodys. They made sure to keep this place intact knowing some of the most famous people ever come her.

"Let's get drinks then dance." she says over the music. I nod.

"Go find a table and I'll get drinks." She walks away leaving me to go to the bar. I take a seat right beside a buffer looking man. Waiting for the bartender. She finally makes it over to me.

"Hi what can I get you pretty lady." she smiled at me.

"Can I get a bloody Mary and a black Russian." I smile. The guy was now staring at me watching me talk. She nods before walking away.

"Hello pretty." he said picking at the peanuts on the counter.

"Hi." I mumbled.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone." he touches my shoulder moving up to my face cupping it.

"I'm not here alone." I spoke. He lets out an uncomfortable laugh. I take his hand off my face seeing him pout. The bartender comes over this the drinks.

"Thank you." I smile she nods walking way again. I grab the clear glasses walking away before feeling a grip on my arm.

"Come on stay with me. It will be fun." he says.

"No thanks." I laugh walking away. He rolls his eyes before muttering a quick 'bitch'. I set the drinks down and get into the booth with her. We take a sip of our drinks.

"I failed my English Lit class." she sighed. I let out a laugh.

"How. You are literally going to be a English Lit major." I let out a low chuckled. She hits my arm sighing again. She takes a sip of her drink before choking on it. I let out a obnoxious laugh.

"Don't look now, but professor hottie is coming our way." she looks behind me.

"Professor hottie?- Oh." I quickly turn around in the booth peeping my head out. Eyes locking with him as he sends me a heart-warming smile. I smile back.

"I told you not to turn around." she laughs. He was now standing at our table.

"Hi y/n!" he exclaims. I slide out of the booth standing up he wraps his arms around me I do the same around his neck. His arms go lose so I unwrap them around his neck.

"Matthew, this is Jessie. Jessie, this is Matthew." I slide back into the booth. She smiles saying 'hi' before going on her phone probably texting one of her boy-toys to come out like she always does.

"Do you wanna sit." I asked patting the seat next to me. He nods taking it I look down at my drink then at Jessie's.

"Do you wanna go get refills?" I ask her.

"Yeah. Bloody Mary?" she asks I nod watching her walk away before seeing her turn around quickly.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry do you want something." she looked at Matthew.

"Um whiskey is fine." he said softly. She nods this time sending me a wink before walking away.

"So Matthew what are you doing here?" I asked him putting my elbow on the table and laying into it.

"Well my friends invited me to come with them the we ended up getting separated and now I'm here." he smiled. I nod looking at him taking in his features. He was wearing a light purple button up with a few buttons undone. His hair was tousled in the front and the sides cut shorter. He looked hot. I refocus on him right as Jessie was coming back drinks. She hands him his and mine to me. I slowly nurse on it watching as Matthew and Jessie engage in a conversation. He could make talking look attractive. I just listened to there conversation. Finally the alcohol was getting to me because once they stopped talking I looked over at Matthew.

"Do you wanna dance?" I asked him. He whipped his head around and looked at me before smirking. Damn.

"Sure." he steps out of the booth holding his hand out for me. I smiled taking it before turning around and looking at Jessie sending her a wink. When we come in we get to leave our bags at the front and pay for our drinks when leaving so I didn't have to worry about my bag. I guide him to the dance floor. Before hearing 'the hills' come on. I take his hands onto my hips swaying them to the beat. I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck his wrapping around my waist moving with me. He puts his head into my neck leaving soft kisses on the skin the stubble tickling my neck and roaming his hands all over my front. He kisses up to my ear before nibbling on it lightly. I grind harder against him earning a groan in my ear. His hold on my waist got tighter pressing himself against me letting me take in the fact that he was hard. I turn around now facing him seeing his eyes completely being taken over with lust. My arms we're still around his neck his we're still around my waist. I take this opportunity to pull him closer to me. He breaks the space between us by smashing his lips onto mine. I run my hand up to his hair, him running his down to my ass giving it a squeeze. We we're like this for almost ten minutes before I pulled away.

"Do you want to go to my house." he asked. I nod eagerly we walk hand in hand to the front desk. I give her my number getting my bag and paying for the drinks. We rush out and get in his car. We shut the doors before attaching our lips together again him pulling me into his lap. I start grinding on him again earning a soft moan to escape his pretty lips. He starts to pull up my dress his hands running over my thighs. His fingers graze over your clit while his lips never leave my neck. I let out a soft moan as he smirks.

"Are we going to fuck in your car or are we going to go to your house." I said breathy. His mouth moves from my neck to my ear again.

"I'd fuck you anywhere I could get you." he growls into my ear his voice low sending a shiver down my spine. I gasp just thinking of it but, before I could make my next move he was moving me off his lap and into the seat beside him. He starts the car before pulling out of the parking lot putting his hand on my thigh his thumb drawing circles on the inner portion. After driving and teasing me with his thumb for what felt like hours we finally arrive into the parking spot of his house. Very few cars here, leaving it feel dreary. He shuts off the car looking at me with the same eyes he did the very first time we met on set.

He was standing there with this goofy grin on his face as I walked up to him introducing myself.

"Hi. I'm Y/n Y/L/N" I smiled holding out my hand. He gladly shook it before telling me his name.

"Hi I'm Matthew Grey Gubler." he smiles. His smile alone could say a thousand words. He was wearing a blue button up shirt with a goofy pattern, a pair of light blue jeans with one leg rolled up, and mitch-matched socks with a pair of nikes. I scanned him a few times.

"So you got the role as Ashton, the quite girl who falls in love with me?" he questioned, I nod letting out a laugh.

"Yeah!" I exclaimed. I spent that whole time getting to know him and meeting the cast it was genuinely a dream come true. I look at Matthew for a second before leaning into him pressing my lips against his. For almost a split second it was almost sweet quickly turning heated. He pulls off my mouth taking my bottom lip with him. He get's out of the car, leaving me sitting in there for a second. I almost forgot he was out there until I heard the car door open.

"Are you coming?" he laughs. I quickly snap my head in the direction blushing getting out of the car. I follow him into the direction of his house. He unlocks the door walking in and opening his arms telling me to walk in, so I quickly follow his arms into his house. I don't even have time to look around my back already being pressed against the door. His lips pressing against mine hard tongue's clashing, teeth to. His lips part from mine, hands roaming up and down my thighs, his lips start at my lip, one kiss on my lips. Next, on my cheek. Then, on my jaw. After, all around my neck. Sucking, nipping, biting. Small moans leaving my mouth, feeling Matthews smirk against my skin. His hands rush to pull my dress up enough of his to get sight of my underwear. I hear a light groan emerge from his throat.

"I've thought about this so many times while on set." he groans his hands pulling the dress over my head. He grips my thighs picking me up, the sudden movement causes a slight giggle to come in the air.

"Oh really?" I questioned. He nods laying me down on his couch grinding himself again me. My fingers working there way down his shirt unbuttoning them one by one finally, the tan man in front of me sitting there shirtless. I push him back slightly enough for me to sit on his lap. His hands go to my ass giving it a squeeze. I let out a short moan, he groans in satisfaction. I grind my clothed area against him.

"Fuck." he pants. He doesn't take but a second to lift me up slightly taking off his pants and boxers. He stops for a second, putting his hands into my underwear. Touching where I needed him the most. God this man shouldn't be real.

"Fuck Matthew." he almost immediately stopped.

"It's Professor." he smirked. That shouldn't have been as hot as it was.

"Yes professor." I moaned causing him to plunge two fingers into me.

"Oh my fucking god." I cry out.

"I didn't know such a pretty girl could say such dirty things." he laughs his fingers going harder curving slightly. I just let out a moan feeling my self going to the edge.

"I'm-I" I couldn't form a full sentence. He seemed to know what I meant because not to long after his finger found my clit moving his thumb in circles.

"I'm going to cum." I cried.

"Come for me princess." he sang. I came and I came hard riding out my high, his fingers still working relentlessly into me. He finally pulled his fingers out of me and into his mouth groaning at the taste of myself. He pulled his finger out of his mouth smirking at me again. I grab his neck pulling it closer to me, just enough for out lips to touch.

"Please fuck me professor." he nods pulling my underwear down laying me back down onto the couch. He puts the tip right at my entrance teasing me.

"God please just fuck me already." I pleaded.

"That's not how you ask baby." he was being cocky. He wanted me to beg.

"Please, please, fuck me-" I stop for a second thinking.

"Professor." I continue. He doesn't ask again slamming into me. Not letting me adjust to his size before taking himself out and slamming into me again.

"Fuck." I cry out. His hips move faster and faster. Every time he goes harder we both let out a whimper.

"God you take my dick so well don't you baby." he asked hitting my g-spot every time.

"Yes professor." I call out.

"That sound's so perfect rolling off your tongue."

"I'm so close." I said.

"Me too." he says working his fingers around my clit again driving me over the edge.

"Come for me." he groans just as he said I did. After a few sloppy thrusts he shoots filling me up. Falling on top of me. We sit there in silence. He sits up wondering off. I pick up his shirt putting it on and sliding on my underwear. He comes back with a towel in his hand and he's wearing sweatpants. He looks at me in his shirt and let's out with goofy grin.

"I wanna see you like this forever."

#matthew gray gubler #matthew grey gubler smut #mgg #mgg fic #mgg smut #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid

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redashtree · 7 years

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The Town of Lily Lake / part nine

Previous chapters on this blog ( @redashtree ), or read here on ao3.

“You son of a--” Eun-ji hisses, Lee cradled close in her arms, wrapped up in a blanket. Jaime reaches out, but Eun-ji retreats a step, keepin’ out of reach. “You gave up our daughter! You dealt away your own child!”

“I didn't think I would have a child!” Jaime shouts back, eyes opening over his body, teeth growin’ into defensive fangs. “I made my Deal with Lucas years ago, how could I have known?”

“I’m leavin’ town. Don't you even try to follow me, Jaime Byrd.”

“You can't leave, Eun-ji. Eun-ji!” Jaime moves forward again, catching her arm, making her hold Lee tighter. “Lucas has claim over Lee, if you take her out of town that’s you slightin’ him, stealin’ what by our Law is his.”

Eun-ji looks up at her faery husband with all the rage and hatred and disgust he is so used to, from other humans, but not from her. Never from her. Not before this very moment.

“Then I’m leavin’ this house,” Eun-ji says, pulling away from him. “And you are never gonna speak to me or my daughter, you understand me?”

Then she throws his true name at him like a knife, the precious thing he’d traded her now ringing in his ears, and Jaime bares his fangs in seething rage.

“Yes,” he growls, because what else can he do but obey?

“Good.”

And Eun-ji leaves, and takes her child with her.

:::::

The Spider and the Scorpion are twins, cunning and dangerous, all jagged edges and sharp silver tongues. They make Deals and tell half-truths with a wink and a grin.

They don't come from this land. They followed the humans that believed in them across the sea. Here, there are others inhuman as they are, and other humans; new peoples to be bargained with, unknown stories to hear and be told.

Here, though, the presence of their Court is small, and slowly waning, even as their humans from across the sea claim more and more and more.

:::::

It takes them hours to make the Deal. As humans rarely understand, bargains are delicate, and must be treated as such. Terms are set and reset, loopholes closed and addendums made, until all parties are, if not happy, then at least content with the trade.

Lily gives them safe haven, just at the edges of the town he’s established; under his protection, but only just. He claims them, and tells them they should think about actin’ a little more human.

The Spider does not accept this suggestion, and stays wild, in the desert, at the boundary of Lily’s Lake. The Scorpion becomes Jaime, and the surname will change a few times before he meets Eun-ji, and again before he meets Marie.

They make a Deal.

One twin promises a firstborn child he does not intend to have. The other promises a heart she doesn’t particularly care to keep. They both think themselves rather clever when Lily accepts.

:::::

Eun-ji doesn't know how to categorize the sound her husband is making. It's somethin’ between humming an’ singing, the sounds mimicking but never fully forming words. She smiles, soft and happy, looking away from the book she's readin’ and putting her hand in his own. He looks up at her, and smiles back, mirror-image, squeezing her fingers without any strength. She's sitting in the grass, Jaime laying with his head restin’ on her leg.

Her middle’s finally started to look like there might really be a baby growin’ inside it, and Jaime is fully enraptured, so curious to know what their child will look like, will be like. He's always looked at Eun-ji with the strange, possessive, intense kind of love that the Fair Folk come to feel the easiest, but with this, with their unborn firstborn, an entirely new, more gentle type of love starts to spark behind his eyes. It's almost unsettlingly strange to see, this nearly-human sort of love in her faery husband’s face.

Jaime keeps singin’ to the baby, and Eun-ji goes back to her book.

:::::

They are arrogant, and greedy, and like the humans from across the sea, the twins make a plan to claim more and more and more and more. They gain allies within their Court, and they try, and they fail, their numbers not enough to face the spirits who belonged here first. To avoid any more fighting than what will already be, their Queen exiles them, leavin’ the twins to the desert.

:::::

Lily’s Lake wasn't ever a lake, in the literal sense. It is desert, dry dust and rock and bone, and likely won't ever be much more.

But it’s a place of refuge, of home, of belonging, and to some, that makes it worth more than a lake, even in the desert. It’s worth enough that the faefolk among its residents are willing to Deal with Lily. And the human folk rarely stop to wonder who it is they're belonging to.

:::::

The Spider gets a camera, from a man passin’ through town, and takes to photographing all she can, birds and insects and lizards and occasionally people. Nothin’ ever sits still enough for the pictures to turn out, but she keeps tryin’. She photographs Eun-ji, twice, keeps one picture for herself and trades the other to Jaime for a swig of whiskey from a stash he rarely touches. The pictures develop blurry, but Eun-ji is grinning in both, bright and true, her hands folded in front of her stomach, where the very beginnings of a bump are starting to show.

:::::

Eun-ji leaves her Bible in the parlor when she goes, and she doesn't come back. She doesn't ever come back for it. Jaime tucks the photograph in between its pages, and leaves it on the shelf.

:::::

“Good kid you got,” the Spider winks with three of six eyes, and Eun-ji glares daggers from her bed.

“If I had the strength, I’d throw you out the window,” she says. Another of the Gentry might see this as a threat, an insult, but the Spider is amused.

“You ain't got enough strength to throw a horseshoe,” the faery shoots back, grinnin’ wide enough to show all her teeth.

“I’m not makin’ a deal with you,” Eun-ji closes her eyes, leans back into her pillow, ignoring the instinctual fear that tells her not to take her eyes off the creature by her bedside. “And I don't want you makin’ any Deals with my daughter.”

The Spider laughs. It's the kind of sound someone makes when they know more than anyone else in the room, and are pleased with themselves for it. Eun-ji doesn't think much of it; the Spider, an’ most fae, tend to sound like that more often than not. Eun-ji opens her eyes, though, looking at her former sister-in-law just in time to see the Spider’s eyes all turn from lilac back to gold.

“I won't make any Deals with your daughter,” the Spider replies, crossing one claw over her chest in a cross-my-heart gesture. Eun-ji scoffs.

“I know your heart isn't in there,” she points out, flat and unamused.

The Spider only laughs again.

:::::

The Spider waits, in her lightning-struck tree, for Lucky to realize who he is, an’ come to her. There are visions seen in purple, but they don't all match up; she isn't sure ‘til he arrives which questions and which truth he will be bringin’ with him.

“How’d you know I was a boy ‘fore I did?” he demands, ten years old and out in the desert alone, echoing half her visions an’ breaking the rest. The Spider grins, spinning down from her tree to crouch at her nephew’s eye level.

“I can see the futures,” she tells him. “What do you have for me, little Lucky?”

He offers three bloody teeth in a pouch, shed from his own skull, and the shimmering body of a dragonfly.

“I wanna make a Deal,” he says to her, for the first time and far from the last. They trade in stages, small things for small things over months, and then years, until Lucky Byrd is a young man. It's taken long enough-- the same length of time as any child growing into an adult-- that very few people in Lily Lake think to question it.

And every time she makes a Deal with the boy, Sheriff Lucas comes questionin’ after him, possessive and protective of his claim.

:::::

When Jaime meets Eun-ji, he is a Byrd, trying to make up for something lost, and his twin is willing to play human for the comfort of his bride. Eun-ji is a spark, bright and powerful and full of life in ways Jaime thinks of as fascinating, other, like a puzzle to be solved. She Deals and half-lies and spars in wits with him, and she is not a faery, but she is dangerously clever and silver-tongued.

She has his heart, and then his hand, and then his name, and then she has his secrets and she is gone because of them.

:::::

When Jaime meets Marie, he is a Hart, trying to make up for something lost, and his twin thinks him too human now, boring, emotional, ridiculous, beneath her. Marie is a sunbeam, bright and powerful and thoroughly, humanly, kind, in ways Jaime doesn't try or even pretend to understand. She Deals and trades truths and spars in jokes with him, and she is not a faery, but she is needle-sharp and deceptively unassuming.

She has his heart, and then his secrets, and then his hand, and his name is his own again but hers is even more closely guarded. She knows him, and loves him, and doesn't leave, and he knows her, and loves her, and makes himself be human enough for it.

#long post #the town of lily lake #faefolk #old west #original story

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Tommy & Ali

Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL

Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃

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