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#blue lion angst
snackcraving · 1 year
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Be my mirror, my sword and shield
@itsmoonpeaches made a fic based on this so check it out :)
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frickingnerd · 5 months
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the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave unsaid
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pairing: dimitri alexandre blaiddyd x gn!reader
summary: out of all of the regrets dimitri has, being unable to tell you how he feels about you is his biggest regret...
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during the last five years, dimitri has been piling up regrets. even before that, he was fueled by nothing but regret. so many people had died and he was unable to do anything about it. there wasn't a day where he wondered what could've been, how things might've changed if he only… but no, it never brought him anywhere. it was all just wishful thinking. he couldn't do anything but pile up more and more regrets with each passing day, as they began to consume him and turn him into nothing but a monster. 
and out of all those regrets, there was one that weighed down on him especially heavy. one thing swore he would never forgive himself for. 
the thing he regretted the most was never telling you how he felt about you.
dimitri had loved you more than anything. when it seemed like darkness would consume him, you brought light into his life. you had saved him time and time again. but in the end, he was unable to save you. 
you were killed by soldiers of the adrestian empire, trying to protect him, after he had run into battle without thinking. you died in his arms that day, bleeding out from your wounds. your last words were his name, as you desperately reached out his hand to touch his face. 
dimitri had never been able to forget that sight. nor had he been able to forgive himself for letting you die in his stead. but what haunted him the most was that he had always taken you for granted. he had never told you that he loved you, never thanked you for your help and never offered any compensation. you gave him everything and got nothing in return. you even gave your life for his, when it should've been him who died that day…
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amanitapilz · 1 year
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A train of unrequited crushes (perhaps not so unrequited later in life who knows)
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pbjamie17 · 10 months
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Voltron AU‼️‼️
(Lots of Coran and Lance bonding because Coran is the best uncle :))
When Lance was 10, he was locked out of his first room in the castle. It was his parent's–King Alfor & Queen Melenor–office. He'd been caught by a maid scribbling family portraits on very important legal documents.
Allura thought it was hilarious. She knew her twin brother was a trouble maker, but she never thought he'd actually get banned from a room. Melenor believed he had it coming, but that didn't mean she wasn't a twinge upset that her son wouldn't be bursting into the office sharing whatever strange fact he learned that day, usually regarding unique Galra behaviors.
The next thing Lance is banned from is meetings. Well, just the meeting room in general. He was 15, and it might've effected him more than he'd ever admit to his father. Or his mother. Or even Allura.
But the one person he did admit it to was Coran. His father's right-hand man. His best friend, his- well, Lance wasn't exactly sure what they were, but he didn't press it.
After he'd been kicked out of meetings, Lance had been sentenced to a constant monitor to make sure he wasn't causing any problems. That monitor was Coran. At first, Lance hated it. He hated being babysat like he couldn't take care of himself.
But it didn't take long for Coran's helicopter parenting to calm down. Eventually, he'd just wander around the castle, blabbering on about how much things had changed since he was younger, and despite the pulling feel in his stomach to wander off, Lance followed. He helped Coran with repairs, and even had his interest in Galra etiquette renewed when the older Altean mentioned them.
His happy days didn't last more than a few months, though. After Lance was banned from two more things.
First, it was family photos. After a particularly infuriating photo shoot, where Lance had refused to make a straight face, Alfor pulled him aside and announced that he didn't want Lance in the photos until he could learn to behave himself. So, never.
Hearing his father's words made Lance want to break down, sobbing and begging for his forgiveness, but he didn't. Instead, he made a sarcastic comment and ran off before the king could see how hurt he was.
Unfortunately for King Alfor, banning his son had the opposite effect of what he'd hoped for. Lance began acting out more instead of less, and his stunts became more and more chaotic.
Rumors about the Royal Alteans began to spread, and after an especially great show involving a lot of illegal drinks and a public appearance from the prince, Alfor knew he had to step in.
He approached Lance about a week before the twin's birthday. Lance was told that at the end of the birthday party, the king would make an announcement.
At the end of the day, Lance would be sent to a border patrol ship at the edge of Altea's reign. Which was a far distance from the atmosphere itself.
Lance almost laughed. Sure, he'd been a bit of a handful as of late, but he didn't think that it was that bad. But the king made it clear his mind was made up. He said that Lance could return to the ground as soon as he proved himself.
So, on his 16th birthday, Lance was banned from one final place.
His planet. His home. The Castle of Lions.
♡⑅*˖•. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .•˖*⑅♡
Sorry, this probably sucks ass, but I had time on my hands and an AU in my head.
I'll probably update more about this, and maybe even upload it on Ao3 at some point, but just so you know, in this universe the war starts a few months after Lance and Allura turn 19, and Lance still hadn't returned to the castle by that point, but yada yada we'll get into that later. ;)
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sergeanthopeless · 4 months
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Better This Way
An angsty/pining-y Dimileth -> Setleth shortfic (that's the best description I've got, sorry)
Rated: G
Summary:
After the war, Seteth watched from the shadows as Byleth and Dimitri exchanged their proposals. Decades later, at King Dimitri's funeral, he finds her again.
Excerpt:
He had been delusional to think he could compete.
Seteth slipped away before either of them could detect his unseemly lurking. He squeezed the ring hidden in his pocket, letting it create a painful indent against his palm. It was better this way.
Yes.
It was better this way.
Read it on AO3
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swagging-back-to · 1 year
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okay so here's my fix it hot take for the lion switching ( because the lion switching is stupid )
keith never pilots black on that planet after the corrupted wormhole. black moves on her own after keith yells at her (because that's what he does lol) to not just sit and watch her paladin get killed
when shiro actually goes missing NO ONE is accepted by the black lion. she sits in the hangar, immobile.
keith stays in red
lance stays in blue.
no one else can pilot the lions except for their specific paladins, a dime in a dozen. their quintessence simply could not handle it. their entire being could not handle it if they arent specifically molded to fit the quintessence of the lions--like their paladins are.
the four paladins have to work tirelessly to fight without voltron and without the black lion. because it makes it more interesting when they just dont have someone. if theres always a backup to the paladins--if their position can always be easily replaced-- then theres really no actual importance of the paladins.
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insomnikat-mused · 1 year
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Live reaction of me unlocking DimiYuri C-support.
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ditzydisaster13 · 2 months
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Voltron (VLD) Lion theories.
The Blue lion is adapable and friendly. Supportive as the right leg of voltron. Putting others before it. Her element is water. Guardian of the water. She swims well, and shoots ice. She was the best for lance while he gained some self confidence. But its also why she took in allura and kept her.
The yellow lion is similar. Heavy and kind, courageous and simple. Slow moving, but mighty. He is the guardian of the land. Of stone and rock and things reliable. Left leg of voltron, serves as a crutch, leverage, balance. Which is why hunk stayed
The green lion is of intelligence and energy. Energy in tech. And in life. Quick to make changes and adjust. Also one of the faster lions. Because energy. Pidge is the youngest, still growing into her body and her smarts. She’s learning and becoming better. Temper smoothing out like removing thorns. Piece by piece her puzzle becomes whole again.
The black lion. Guardian of the sky. Constant and yet ever changing. Always something new. Ready to make adjustments and go with whatever. Strong and powerful. It’s why she has wings. Sky. Stars, and planets blinking. She is as large as the universe is vast. Reaching out just as far. Which is why the astral plane works. As for Shiro, keith, and clone shiro? Well, Zarkon. Zarkon corrupted. Which is probably why Black felt that clone shiro was shiro. He was following a similar path. But one was more gradual than the other. Easier to trick her. (Imma assume she didn’t already know..) then for keith? Galra blood is apart of him. Hes getting stronger and better at learning with the changes. Leading himself and others.
-> -> -> as for red? The red lion? King alfor, and Keith? Eventually Lance? Well that started this whole thing!!
King Alfor was kind, and friendly. A little spontaneous. But generous and good natured. With a fun loving side that mixes all of these ideals. He knew how to rule, and how to be a family man. How to be a friend.
Keith, started out very stubborn and hot headed. Lover of family like Alfor, but untrusting of others like the former king was. He had his moments and his grace. His responsibility and respectablities too. Hes growing. Which is why he eventually became the black paladin. Not just shiro. But his worthyness. Hes a fighter. A survivor. A mess. But hes strong.
Lance has qualities of both. Flirty and charming. Generous and a family lover. Fun loving, but knows when to be serious. Hes strong and witted. Intelligent beyond what others think of him. Responsible inna way that shows hes growing. Young, and afraid. Afraid and fearful of it all. But willing to do what is best for the team.
The red lion is tempermental and seeks out paladins that he feels will be able to trust. It take ssome time because he himself has some self doubt, which is something he can bond over and work on with Lance. The two bonded quickly. After what happened with Alfor. He fet he was doing things wrong and wants his paladins to trust him. Thsi means reaching out for a better bond, and faster.
The red lion is guardian of the fire. Fire its hot and dangerous and scary. But it also brings light and warmth, helps make food, and it gives signs of life (fire needs oxygen, so do humans, and then also the fact that fires are used as signals to show that there are people there in like getting lost situations and whatnot) and is important in not only humanities past, but very lonely to be symbolic in many different cultures of many different species.
Oh and this is also why the Red Lion is so fast!! Heat particles move the fastest! Its just a science thing lol.
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hello my little creme soda cans,
I JUST HAD TO HOP ON HERE AND SAY that im watching voltron and im so obsessed and immediately agree that we need more voltron moots to revive the fandom
so yeah if you have voltron requests... send em through 🧚‍♂️💛
AHH OMG I LOVE THEM<3
okay cool have a good day/night xx
-hufflepuffhaze
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sailorsnightmare · 1 year
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How do you guys think the new fire emblem’s plot is going to go? Since we’ve only got one official trailer and a few teasers to go by, I’m curious if it’s going to follow along with having an angstier “you choose your path” plotline like 3 houses or if it’ll be more linear like the older games?
I’m especially curious how the past heroes will play into the game’s plotline. I’m wondering if they’ll be major characters or if their role will be more supportive?
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prognostik-a · 2 years
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@ruinedheart,  sylvain  said:    i  don’t  look  like  a  ghost,  do  i?    ♡ *    prompt  lost,  no  longer  accepting.
part  of  him  is  still  unsure  of  whether  its  all  real.    unsure  of  whether  this  is  all  some  distant  dream,  just  another  one  of  the  legions  he  lives  in  repose.    ❪   it’s  ——  it’s  hard  to  tell  the  difference  most  days.    days  blend,  wane   /   web   /   intertwine  together  and  time  no  longer  has  the  same  meaning  it  did  in  youth.   ❫    their  presence  here  feels  like  a  blade  in  their  side,  a  hindrance  to  the  embers  he  has  yet  to  leave.    ❪   you  do  not  need  them,  you  haven’t  needed  them  for  years,  this  is  for  you  to  do  alone.   ❫    they  seem  to  be  more  akin  to  the  graveyards  of  ghosts  that  follow  him  and  the  ghosts  that  he’s  created,  but,  but  ——
i  don’t  look  like  a  ghost,  do  i?    sylvain  says,  retains  some  amount  of  the  snark  dmitri  was  so  familiar  and  fond  of  before  the  war   /   before  the  dead  prince  found  a  new  resolve,  a  bloodier  crusade.    ❪   you’d  almost  forgotten  he  was  there.    m̲a̲y̲b̲e̲ ̲ ̲y̲o̲u̲ ̲ ̲d̲i̲d̲n̲’̲t̲ ̲ ̲r̲e̲a̲l̲l̲y̲ ̲ ̲r̲e̲g̲i̲s̲t̲e̲r̲ ̲ ̲t̲h̲a̲t̲ ̲ ̲h̲e̲ ̲ ̲w̲a̲s̲ ̲ ̲t̲h̲e̲r̲e̲ ̲ ̲a̲t̲ ̲ ̲a̲l̲l̲.̲   ❫    but  he  says  that,  renders  himself  an  unintentional  comedian  and  if  dmitri  was  capable  of  it,  somehow  found  the  strength  or  vigor  for  humor,  he  would’ve  laughed  at  the  remark.    ❪   only  because  he’s  wrong.    because  this  war  and  every  event  horizon  that  accompanied  it  has  slaughtered  them  all  and  buried  them  alive  and  the  ruined  monument  of  this  monastery  now  houses  the  still-moving  corpses  of  the  people  they  once  were.    they’re  nothing  but  dead   /   phantoms  that  still  hold  on  to  mindless  notion  that  hopefully,  maybe,  they  are  still  alive  and  well.    but  you’re  wise  enough  to  acknowledge  the  truth   /   you  understand  it  like  scripture.    you  began  with  dying  and  decay   /   you  are  willing  to  die  with  the  very  thing  that  proctored  you.   ❫
but  he  doesn’t  say  that  aloud.   for  once,  dmitri  decides  to  withhold  something.    keep  it  close  to  his  ribs,  the  only  other  thing  he  could  do  before  it  shattered  again.   another  murder  he  couldn’t  prevent.    ❛  ...  go  bother  someone  else,  sylvain.  ❜    nary  a  glance  is  paid  in  his  direction.    not  the  slightest  recognition   /   a  voice  so  distant,  faint.    ❛  i  want  to  be  left  alone.  ❜
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frickingnerd · 7 months
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haunted by our past mistakes
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pairing: edelgard von hresvelg x gn!reader
summary: after the last battle, you became quiet and withdrew yourself from everyone. when edelgard confronts you, she learns about what happened...
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you hadn't told edelgard about what happened during the last battle. you thought it wasn't worth mentioning to her, yet your girlfriend could see that something was eating you up from the inside. you had gotten quiet since that last battle, barely ate or left your room anymore. 
after you had skipped yet another meal with the rest of the black eagles, edelgard approached you in the comfort of your own room. 
"what's going on with you…?"
she was direct, but her voice remained calm. she didn't want you to think she was scolding you. 
"ever since the battle in fhirdiad, you've been so quiet. was it because it was your hometown or…"
"mer..cedes…"
you struggled to say her name. it was like your throat was tightening and you had to hold back tears just thinking about her. 
"she begged me not to do it… but i… i had to…"
that was all you could get out, before the tears overwhelmed you. you balled your hands into fists, leaning over and quietly sobbing. edelgard immediately stepped closer and wrapped her arms around you, in an attempt to comfort you. 
"you mean… you were the one who killed her…?"
edelgard asked carefully, only for you to nod softly and begin to sob even louder. edelgard tightened her grip on you, fearing you'd slip away from her if she didn't hold on tight. 
she had heard that a few of the blue lions, your former classmates, had been killed. but edelgard had never once thought that perhaps you had been forced to kill one of them. if she had known you'd face them, she wouldn't have deployed you for that battle. 
"i'm so sorry… you suffered all this time and i didn't notice…" edelgard gently caressed your cheek, wiping away tears that had escaped your eyes. "the burden to kill a friend… it's too heavy for one to bear by themselves. you shouldn't have to suffer like this. i should've been there, trying to find a way for her to join us. but now…"
now it was too late. but edelgard didn't need to say that out loud, you both knew. all she could do now was hold you and be there for you, while you suffered. it would take a while, but eventually the pain would get less. and while you'd never be able to forget what you had done that day, perhaps you'd be able to forgive yourself one day…
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sh1-n0bu · 4 months
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✿ 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙘𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 ✿
characters: jing yuan, blade, dan heng, welt yang, yanqing, sampo, gepard, luocha x nb!reader
warnings: tooth rutting fluff, advised for u to read while sitting down or in private bc u might have a heart attack from how cute and chaotic this shit is, some angst might be sprinkled in just bc✨✨
notes: that moment when you have a super bad baby fever except the fever is towards cat rather than babies. genshin impact ver can be read here!
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
oh fuck
look at that floof
that absolute big soft floofball peacefully sleeping on top of your favorite black shirt. your shirt is ruined, massive amount of white fur stuck to the fabric and you’re late for work but at least you have a happily napping away cat
a siberian cat, me thinks. with that amount of fur and that large body, he’s gotta be a siberian cat
spoiled, smug peace of shit and he knows it. revels in that title even
dubbed as ‘the handsome cat’ by your friends, co-workers and neighbors alike, meow yuan is surprisingly and not so surprisingly incredibly popular amongst the ladies. whether it be because of his fur, his adorable meows, the red ribbon you tied around his neck as a makeshift collar or his way of charming the ladies with a gentle pawing to their hand and a smug “meowww”, you will never know
the biggest out of the cats. but is it his body that’s big or is it the rapunzel like long fur that he has. the world will sadly never know and neither will you
surprisingly chatty at times. but worryingly very eepy. an adult cat should sleep about 12-16 hours a day and yet you’re pretty sure meow yuan spends 25 hours of the day sleeping away under the sunlight
closest to little nyanqing. seems to think of the youngest kitten as his own as he’s seen grooming or simply looking out for the young kitten at times. also seems to be a bit closer to nyan heng and meowade but the latter tends to spend his time alone
an absolute smug spoiled prince and he owns to it. whether it be feigning hurt, crying out for your attention or downright plopping himself down on your keyboard, deleting your entire progress of work, the little shit knows how to be a headache
but it’s okay, you always forgive him because he allows you to smush your face into the fur of his belly when you’re stressed or squish his soft toe beans. meow yuan is let off the hook yet again…
occasionally, meow yuan reminds you of a lion. it maybe weird and completely out of the blue but with the way he grooms others, his fur, the absolute motor like loud purrs he emits or the sheer massive size and weight of him — yeah, you get the point
one time, you decided to spoil him by carrying him around in your arms like how you do with the other cats. the loud crack! noise and the fact that you couldn’t get up the next day should prove just how damn big he is
meow yuan was a worry wart the whole day. constantly meowing in your ears, purring softly, nuzzling your side. it almost seemed like he was trying to apologize for being this big. to which you easily let him off the hook of course. how could anyone ever say no to that big adorable yellow eyes?
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art credit to cocoink🍁 on twt
a bit of a worrying case, meowade is
he doesn’t like socializing, the other cats nor does he get along with you either. the only ones he seem to at least tolerate were meow yuan and nyan heng alongside you
likes to spend his time all alone, cooped up inside some small confined space, above the cupboard or inside his own small room in the cat tree. also enjoys spending time in your room as well but only if the other cats aren’t there
flinches or freezes up whenever you touch him which is incredibly worrying and gut-wrenching. makes you hate however was his previous owner to have caused meowade to despise touches and affections
the first time you found him, bleeding and wet on the side of the road and tried to wrap your coat around him to take him to the vet, the little scraggly cat hissed and clawed and bit at you with great amount of hate despite literally bleeding out. thankfully, he seemed to understand you were no threat as he went limp in your coat, allowing you to get him to the vet
due to whatever his past experiences were, meowade hates being close to anyone. but at least he was slowly but surely opening up to the others and you
the first time the poor scraggly cat decided to bump his head to your hand, asking for pets, you cried tears of joy and relief. at least, you can offer him healing and comfort as you and the other cats stay there for him on his journey
the second biggest cat, bested by meow yuan himself. not as big as him but damn can this cat scare others. whether it be other cats, your friends who decided to visit or some random dog that you passed by as you take meowade out for a walk
seriously, the amount of times this cat wrestled against dogs bigger than himself gives you heart attacks. it’s a real wonder and a miracle you aren’t dead yet
british shorthair, me thinks. but the ones that grow to be a bit bigger than the others
has a bad habit of just… staring off into space, unblinking with those big round eyes at times. literally no thoughts in his brain. head empty, as he just… stares off into space
“oh, having another existential crisis again? mind if i join you today, meowade?”
“…”
“… meow”
and so, this weird ritual of the two of you sitting side by side, staring off into the distance, unblinking as the cup of coffee in your hand goes cold has become something special in you two’s bonding moment. oneself that meowade looks forward to each day
sometimes, he tends to chase after nyan heng around the house for whatever the reason. it leaves poor nyan heng shaking and hissing as the small black cat comes to you for help
not the chattiest of cats nor is he the most pickiest. quite docile despite his killer stare at times and you would even daresay, shy when it comes to affection
overall, a cute cat. the cute pathetic ones that you just can’t help but adore and love
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
another docile cat!! perhaps even the most docile one!!!
at first, you were worried when taking him in because holy shit, where is his tail?! only after taking him to the vets did you finally managed to breathe a sigh of relief because nyan heng was a black manx breed of cat
lean, on the smaller side, an amazing hunter and a dutiful bug hunter in the house, nyan heng is a cute black manx who has a pretty green/grey eyes
an absolute sweetheart, always hoping to please you or help you out around the house as he helps to keep the other cats in line. except for meowade. he always finds himself having a hissing match with the black british shorthair or getting teased by the eepy meow yuan
closest to nyelt, as you had found the two cats together when you decided to take him in. almost seem to see nyelt as some sort of a father figure with how the little black manx constantly goes to the older one for advice or simply some help in grooming
has a cute simple, thread like thin black tie with a few charms around himself as a makeshift collar. he seems to like it despite the thread being a little bit too thin for cats’ comfort
seriously, what’s up with your cats and their desire to wear makeshift collars? makes you really consider if they are cats…
that aside, nyen heng also tends to be more active during nighttime. not the type that would take down things, destroy objects or cause ruckus and cause you jump out of the warm comfort of your bed. no, he just simply quietly trudges around the house, searching if he had truly hunted down every bugs and insects in the house
especially that spider
nyen heng hates to see you so scared over that cursed spider. so he makes it his life mission to rid the house of insects, more specifically, spiders!!
and damn is he absolutely devoted to his job because ever since you cried to your friend over the phone about the spider that you saw in your room, you never saw another spider ever again!
not the most chattiest nor is the most affectionate. he’s a mix of both but only when in privacy of you two or when he’s feeling particularly lonely
don’t get him wrong, the other cats are an amazing company but he just tends to seek out your attention and affection more y’know? there’s just something soothing about being by your side
seems to have some history with meow yuan and meowade. whether that be good with how friendly meow yuan is with nyan heng. or bad, with how meowade seems to want to take their play fighting to a whole next level
surprisingly, doesn’t like sunlight that much
most of the cats would follow the sunlight and it’s warmth and spend some time outside or on the window sill. but you can find the little black minx just chilling in one of the rooms of the cat tree of beside you, observing the other cats
nyen heng is an absolute sweetheart. the quiet type of sweetheart
the type of sweetheart that follows you around, hoping to help you out or simply offer a comforting presence. it’s the least he can do for you
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
another sweetheart of a cat except nyelt makes himself and his presence known unlike nyan heng
possibly a havana brown breed with just how damn calm, peaceful, loving and loyal he is. especially with you. havana browns tend to attach themselves to only one person during their span of life, which sometimes can feel like nyelt is just a biiitttt clingy with you
was there with nyan heng when you took the two cats in and often times acts like a father figure to the cats of the house which is a huge help to your mental state. except for nyanqing. nyanqing only has one father figure and that’s meow yuan
but that was completely fine since nyelt still looks after the little energetic kitten. often times looking after the cream munchkin as he carries nyanqing around by his scruff
to which, nyan heng comes to you for affection and attention. if his father figure won’t give it, then you surely will!
likes to wear the black mini scarf like collar around his neck. often times seen curled up inside the mini scarf as he sleeps the day away like most cats do
can come of as quite chatty at times with how attentive and helpful nyelt is
oh your back feels stiff? he can sit on it and make biscuits (that cute moment when cats knead their paws?). meow yuan is out of option since he’s way too big and heavy and could potentially be the sole reason you break your back. literally
oh nyanqing is missing again? what do you mean he’s missing? he’s right there, hiding inside one of the rooms of the cat tree
nyan heng is being bullied by meowade again? you know nothing of the weight behind this powe—
yeah, you get it. kinda reminds you of a grandpa with how attentive he is and how he has a single streak of grey atop his head fur. which is absolutely adorable and one place that you adore smothering with kisses
nyelt doesn’t seem to mind the affection too as he simply sits there, purring away and basking in your affection. a very pliant cat
sometimes, something seems to weigh heavily on his and nyan heng’s minds with how they curl up together or look out the window, seemingly searching for something
at first when they did that, you thought some bird or a squirrel passed by the window. but if that was the case then every cats should by by the windowsill
yet only nyelt and nyan heng are
at first it worried you because what if they were having cat depression?! are you absolutely sure that you’re being a good cat owner, [name]?!
yeah, you had a lot of self doubt and depressive episodes due to the two cats
however you finally figured out the case when one day, one of your co-workers suggested a play date with her own cats. saying that sometimes, cats need to see new faces to experience some relief from their everyday tasks or ways of living
the date was agreed upon and your co-worker decided to bring over a few of her cats
the immediate second the pretty red furred maine coon, pink-ish scottish fold and the grey striped scottish fold stepped out of the cat bag, nyelt and nyan heng seem to brighten immediately as they fucking dash towards the three cats
turns out the five of them seemed to have been close before they got separated and the two male cats found their way in your home
at least your cats were happy yet again. which made you happy in turn too
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
awwwwwww
everyone's reactions when you first introduce them to nyanqing. and honestly, you can't blame them because look at that cute little cream munchkin pitter pattering his way over here!!!
as stated above, a cute little cream colored munchkin
super adorable
tiny
a tiny baby
"hang on, i'm gonna have an abnormal increase in my sugar intake simply because nyanqing is just too damn adorable to not to do that" - you on a daily basis while calling your best friend and honestly? your bestie's starting to get a bit sick of your constant fawning over your cats
that is until you bestie decides to come over for a visit to drop off some meds for you (during the infamous 'trying to lift meow yuan and almost breaking your spinal cord' day), your bestie dropped down to the floor, unresponsive the moment you called over nyanqing to introduce him to your bestie
yeah... since then the two of you constantly fawn over the little munchkin while trying not to die of a cuteness overload
but it's completely fine and understandable even as you two get the nth heart attack this day simply because nyanqing was... well, nyanqing himself!
an adorable little pliant baby who loves nothing more than sleeping, playing around with meow yuan, you and sprinkles of mischief sometimes
is the closest to meow yuan and can be found with the large siberian cat whenever you can't find him. often times, you would have to move meow yuan over to check each and every nook and cranny around the large siberian cat just so you can get a glimpse of the small munchkin and let out a sigh of relief
at times, the eepy meow yuan tends to curl up with the tiny nyanqing buttttt due to how much of a heavy sleeper the larger cat is, nyanqing almost gets crushed under the much larger cat
yet he somehow is still alive and well and completely okay???? like what????????
still doesn't relieve your heart no matter how many times you find the tiny munchkin under the large siberian cat
is a little bit mischievous at times with how he lovingly bothers nyan heng. trailing after the black minx all the while meowing his ears off about something. the same can be applied to nyelt as well but nyelt tends to patiently converse with the small munchkin unlike nyan heng who wishes to avoid him at most times, preferring his lone and private time
seem to have some sort of an ongoing hidden agenda against meowade and luonya. the former black can cat be found bullying the small munchkin until either the other cats step in or you. as for the latter? no one knows. somehow, nyanqing always ends up getting into a defensive position whenever luonya comes into his field of vision
one time you even found nyanqing hisses at meowade with meow yuan behind the tiny kitten's back. you had to put the three of them into time out and give meowade a scolding
what about scolding nyanqing you say? well
“this is the last time i’ll let you off the hook, nyan-nyan. if i find you stirring up trouble again”
yeah… when are you ever going to stop letting your cats off of the hook [name]?
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
“you sure this is a cat and not a fox or a vixen undercover?”
“yes, it is indeed a cat and not a fox or a vixen undercover. i’m guessing it’s a somali cat though it could be mixed breed with another different cat breed as well”
“you sure…?”
“please get out, and allow the others to show their pets”
yeah… the local vet is familiar with you and your many different cats. not to mention the amount of times you asked if meowpo was truly a cat and not a fox undercover because damn, is this cat fucking mischievous
an absolute fucking menace and i cannot stress this enough, god
the type of cat who would keep a straight eye contact with you as his soft squishy paw slowly pushes a cup full of your coffee towards the edge of the surface all the while keeping the :3 face
oh you thought meow yuan was bad and mischievous? you immediately took back your words the second you adopted meowpo
that’s how damn bad this little cat is
you know those moments that you have like,,, a cute aggression? but instead of smothering the cat with kisses and hugs and cuddles, you end up lovingly bullying the cat? yeah. that’s your eternal cycle with meowpo
“you stupid—“ kiss “—fucking” kiss “—cat!” kiss “when the fuck—“ kiss “—and where the fuck” kiss “—did you came from” kiss “—to make me suffer, huh?”
a never ending cycle and meowpo fucking revels in the sheer amount of times he can make you have lovingly bullying cute aggression moments
seems to have some sort of a rivalry with nyepard and surprisingly meow yuan
nyepard was completely understood and truthfully, you saw it coming. nyepard is a rule follower and an enforcer through and through meanwhile meowpo is a rule breaker
so imagine your surprise when you come back home one day to see meow yuan glaring at meowpo from his windowsill
“meow yuan, what’s gotten into you? why are you bullying meowpo?”
“mrreow!” oh meow yuan sounded a bit angry. which only served to double your shock since meow yuan is a very gentle cat despite his large size. gentle, affectionate, chatty, friendly and a bit mischievous at times but never hostile or mean
“mrreeeooww!” meowpo seems to complain as he makes his way over to hide behind your leg. he seems to be shaking or even afraid of the larger cat
to which, you immediately coddled and soothed meowpo over and scolded meow yuan afterwards. all the while meowpo gives meow yuan a knowing smug look
yeaaahhh… these idiots are fighting for your attention and affection
if meowpo isn’t somewhere inside the house, creating chaos and getting scolded by the other cats then you can definitely find him by asking a help from nyepard. nyeppie would dutifully carry out his duties and rat meowpo out in record time
but he isn’t always so mean or mischievous. the times where you fall sick and is having a hard time trying to breathe through your nostrils, meowpo is the one who takes care of the other cats’ bowls of food and water
it was a way of him hoping to help you out the tiniest bit as you lay bedridden
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
nyepard, the most… dog-like cat you would ever meet. but also a cheetah-like as well????
it’s hard to explain since nyeppie has spotted fur and the black smokey eye that cheetahs have and not to mention his large yet lean physique as well
the second largest. whereas meowade is also the second biggest due to his length, neppie is the second biggest due to being a bit on the… buffer? side
seriously, you were worried for a few days when nyepard kept growing and growing, showing absolutely no sign of stopping his growth spurt
thankfully, he isn’t as big as meow yuan
you don’t wanna live with the embarrassment of getting dragged down the street by another big ass cat chasing after a random pretty leaf they saw. nope. you can’t deal with the embarrassment and shame
and yes, you did dragged down the street when taking meow yuan out on a walk before but that is a story and second hand embarrassment for another time
another sweetheart despite his size
very doting, gentle, very shy when it comes to affections but still asks for them anyways because it’s you
the first time you took nyepard for his vet vaccinations, the veterinarian looked at you dead in the eyes as if saying “bestie, what the fuck?”
of course you would get weird stares whenever you take the big cat out for a walk. he’s as big as a doberman dog and the dotted furs of his doesn’t exactly help to direct attention away from yourself
but the sheer amount of power you feel when walking down the street with both meow yuan and nyepard by your two sides is fucking addicting
one cat that closely resembles a lion and another that looks like a cheetah. at least you sleep peacefully at night knowing that you have two scary cats privilege
scary dog privilege? [name] only knows and experiences scary cats privilege. at times it's adorable but also threatening as well because your bestie and some close co-workers know just how devoted and loyal your cats are towards you
nyeppie is the most loyal of them all. or at least, one who is willing to show it at each minute of the day with how dutifully he chases after insects with nyan heng, scolds meowpo or just is there to be your emotional support
by being your emotional support, nyeppie meant being there sitting beside your computer as you diligently types away at a work report and not to be your cuddle victim!!!! no, no no no, no no, you're not squishing his paws as you take him away in your arms to cuddle on the bed!! you always end up falling asleep!!!! what do you mean by it's completely fine that you have saved up the progress and the deadline isn't close yet?! the deadline is before midnight!!!
sigh...
if only cats could sigh heavily and smack his face with his palm as he watches you scamper about, trying to wake yourself up as you realize that you did ended up napping the day away with nyeppie in your arms
well, at least you managed to send the report in at time. by 'at time' you and him both meant at least 2 minutes before the deadline closed up
nyepard guesses you can cuddle with him this time since you managed to finish the report within a record time of 47 minutes
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art credit to mm_mako22 on danbooru!
luonya is probably the most weirdest cat you ever had the pleasure of adopting. and that was saying something because you're pretty sure you live with a long lost lion and a cheetah and a fox cats!!!!
and he's just a simple, silly, lovely cream colored turkish angora!!!!!
ah, whatever. you guess its just life's way of dealing you karma by making you live with a bit quirky 8 cats
jokes and a lot of conspiracy theories pushed aside for now, time to focus on the present AKA 'the pretty cat'
oh yes, while meow yuan was getting dubbed as 'the handsome cat' by almost everyone who meets him, luonya was rightfully dubbed as 'the pretty cat'
at this point, you're damn sure that your friends and co-workers come around only to coo over your cats and to spoil them rather than spending time with you... understandable, because you too would do the same without a single ounce of shame and you absolutely mean every damn word
one time, just for shits and giggles and a bunch of pictures to take of your latest cat, you signed him up for a cat beauty pageant
it was only for shits and giggles and a reason to snap pictures of luonya in a pretty cat costumes and stuff, you swear!! so imagine your surprise and how far down your jaw went slack when the host announced your cat, luonya as the cat beauty pageant winner!!!
yeah...
it was a chaotic thing to happen truly and the small glares and backhanded compliments the other cat parents were giving you was making you break out in cold sweat. at least, you have your pretty cat with you to soothe yourself a bit
and a nice whopping 300K dollars as the victor money!!!! damn, you're rich as shit now
not for too long since that money is gonna fly away in the wind due to the fact that you adopted a literal 7 cats and a kitten
worth it, you cry internally as you pay for the 50 kilograms of cat food all the while luonya gently meows at you as in a way of saying "hurry up, dear. we still have to pick up the wet food and the snacks too"
hhhh yeah
this cream colored turkish angora of yours is absolutely drop dead gorgeous yet at the same time he also has a very large secretive look on his face. there's just something about the way that luonya just acts, always sitting atop a high place in the house, as he just stares into the souls of everyone within the room
weirdly smells like either flowers or of medicine and pills and there's absolutely no in between. it's either giving lilies or pills but either way, your cat is a girlboss and he seems to know it as well
not entirely affectionate like meow yuan or meowpo but he is also not too talkative either. a bit of something in between along the lines
is affectionate and talkative at times but prefer it if you would be asleep or when its just you two when he finally decides to curl up on your lap
overall, luonya is a very gentle yet also a very suspicious cat but is oki, he girlboss and he knows what he wants and needs with how he sometimes fakes choking noises to make you get up in light speed
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chvrryzpop · 1 month
Text
SERIAL KILLER
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ghost face m. sturniolo x ghost face fem!reader
summary: Killing is fun when it comes to a little action after it…right?
warnings: dom!matt, smut, angst, swearing, blood, spanking, p in v, oral sex (fem!receiving), paraphilia, fingering, degrading kink, pet names, creampie, use of y/n, hair pulling, choking kink, edging, unprotected sex (do not).
not proofread!
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
You were running down the streets, your vision blurry by the fabric covering the mask you were wearing, feeling the cold breeze of the night hitting your entire body. A stinging sensation on your feet every time they stomped on the hard ground. Police sirens were encircling in the background, making the situation worse.
You thought that this was it, this is how the police would catch you, after months of doing this, this would be the moment that you were so afraid to come.
You made a turn on the right, a downtown neighborhood emerging on sight just a few miles away from you. This was a great sign for you, relief filling your body. You’re finally getting closer to your home, the police sirens getting quieter and quieter every step you take to get there.
You took your mask off and felt the cold breeze hitting your face, the strands of hair sticking on the sides of your sweaty face, and the numbness in your feet getting worse and worse with each step you took. The knife in your hand trying to slip off it.
Climbing through the cold metal ladder that you left against your room window makes you feel tingling sensations on the palm of your hands.
Finally, home sweet home, the police sirens stopped and the sun was rising from the sky. The mask that used to cover your face a few hours ago lying down on your desk with your knife beside it, stains of dried blood on both things.
Your neck also had a few stains of blood, you sat down at your desk, looking at yourself in the mirror using wipes to try and wipe off the blood on you. Until a sound made you jump up off your chair, taking the knife with you.
As you got closer and closer to where the sound was coming from, it became louder, big stomps on the ladder that you climbed just a few seconds ago.
A tall silhouette sitting on the edge of your window with the same disguise that you had, their big veiny hands gripping it to take it off, revealing their face.
It was Matt, your boyfriend.
You sighed out of relief, tossing the knife on the floor as Matt got inside your room, the blue hour making an aureole around his silhouette. “You fucking scared me, Matt!” to which he replied with a chuckle, getting closer to you.
“What? It’s not like I’m a serial killer or something.” The both of you began to laugh at the statement.
He wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you closer to him, “We almost got caught tonight.” He states, pulling a strand of hair out of your face, and checking it. The blood that covered his neck and a bit of his face was still fresh.
“Well, at least we got time to hide the evidence, didn't we?” Your lips now graze against his, making him bite your lower lip delicately. “Yes, we did.”
He pushed you down into your bed and began to kiss you around the neck, collarbone, and then lips, meeting them in a hungry kiss. His hands roam all over your body.
You lifted his shirt in a signal for him to take it off, a chain hitting your chin delicately, he then removed your dress revealing a crimson-red lingerie set on you, admiring the sight of your body lying down made him fuel his desire even more.
He shook his head a bit and smirked, “You little whore.” He crawled on top of you, spreading your legs wide open, fluttering kisses all over the exposed skin, shivers sending down your spine.
Wet kisses on your lower stomach until he got to your panties, biting the waistband as his eyes stared at yours. He looked like a lion ready to devour his prey.
Your breath was hitched, waiting impatiently for the bit of friction of his touch on you, your hips bucking up, provoking Matt to push them back on the mattress and pin them against it. “Please…” you plead.
“Please what?” He asks, removing your panties painfully slow, your toes curling a little at the smallest contact that he was giving you.
Words could barely let out of your mouth, you just needed him, you needed his touch and love for just a minute. “Touch me.” You breathed out, a dark chuckle coming from him as a response.
“You would like that, hm?.” His lips grazed on your wet cunt, shivers were sent down your spine by the action. “Y-yes.” You whine.
Matt twirled his tongue painfully slow in your wet folds, quiet moans coming out from you as he did so. His tongue was now playing on your sensitive bud, your back arching by the action, whimpers coming out from you and your hand now reaching for the back of his head. Entangling your fingers with a few locks of hair.
The way this man was driving you to the edge with his tongue was making you go insane, your grip on his hair got tighter each time his tongue swirled in your heat.
His groans vibrate through your entire body each time your grip tightens on his hair. His tongue switched from your sensitive nub to your entrance, teasing the tip of his top around it. “Please…please,” You muttered through gritted teeth. Matt finally gave you what you needed the most as a response.
Feeling his tongue thrusting in and out of you pushed you to the edge, sensing the ecstasy gain control over your entire body, letting out the loudest moans you've ever had in a while. The grip on the handful locks of hair loosens up to reach for the spot on the mattress next to you, your hands gripping the silk bedsheets, your knuckles turning white as you feel his tongue swirling in circles inside you.
“F-fuck!” You whined out, bucking your hips up so you could seek more contact with his tongue, Matt pining them back to against the mattress. He pulls away from your wet cunt to look at you, his free hand now gripping your jaw to look at him. “Do that one more time, Y/N and I swear to God I’ll fucking stop.” His tone was harsh.
You nodded desperately, needing him more than anything. Instead, he just stands up, looking down at you, his hand that was attached to your jaw now resting on his side looking down at you. He had the exact look in his eyes that you noticed just a few minutes ago.
That’s when all of a sudden you were now lying on your stomach on all fours, feeling the anxiousness and the need to feel your orgasm once again causing you to whine. A smack on your ass makes you squeal. “Look at you, being a whiny bitch for me.” He said, smacking your ass once more, gripping it afterward. “You like that, huh?” He asks a husky tone showing up in his voice.
You nodded, feeling his hand now gripping your hair and pulling your head as up as it could go, he leaned to whisper in your ear, “Words, use fucking words.”
“Y-yes, I l-like that.” You breathed out, Matt returning to his initial position, his grip on your hair never leaving. “Maybe this will teach you to use that little mouth of yours,” His fingers tease at your entrance, whines coming out from you as you feel his fingers now pumping in and out of you.
“O-oh, m-my God.” You cry out, tears forming in your eyes as his fingers keep hitting the right spot inside you, feeling the knot forming once again in your stomach. “I-I’m s-so c-close.” You muttered, feeling your walls clenching slightly.
“Fucking hold it,” Matt demands through gritted teeth as his fingers now were holding a new pace, causing you to hold onto the mattress, tears now streaming down your face. “I c-can’t.” You blurt, feeling your release closer and closer each time his fingers dug deep inside you. “Y/N, don’t you fucking dare.” He warns.
You shake your head as you feel your walls clenching around his fingers, your juices sprawled all over the bed and Matt’s fingers. He takes them out, a soft popping sound as he does so. “I’m sorry,” You said.
Smack.
“What the fuck did I just tell you? Hm?” He replied.
Smack.
You squeal, feeling the stinging sensation each time he spanked you. “I’m sorry.” You repeated.
“You've been behaving so badly tonight.” His lips made a tsk sound while walked around the room, picking up his knife, the floor now covered in a few stains of fresh blood. “Maybe…a little punishment will show you how to be a good girl.”
Your heart skipped a beat when you felt the cold blade against your skin, feeling the blood that covered it painting your back slightly, causing you to quiver at the chilling sensation. Tossing the knife somewhere on the floor.
His thumb is now on your mouth, savoring the salty iron flavor in your mouth, making you whine a bit. “Clean it off.” He demands.
You swirl your tongue around his thumb tasting the red liquid as if it were your last meal ever, not wasting a single drop of it. A popping sound when you finished cleaning out the blood around his thumb, licking your lips slightly as you chuckled. “Good girl,” Matt says.
All of a sudden you felt his cock deep inside you, forceful thrusts as one of his hands snakes to grip softly on your throat and the other one gripped your hip. You let out small groans, driving deep into your core with each stroke. His dick hammering deep inside you, hitting your g-spot each time he did so.
The tears were back again, the overstimulation making you feel weak, as you let out pornographic moans each time Matt picked up a harder pace at you. You whispered a few praises each time you felt closer and closer to your second orgasm of the night.
“You like that, don’t you? You fucking slut.” Another smack on your ass, your breathing getting hitched by his continuous motion.
Another harsh slap on your ass, the stinging sensation back again, and a red mark now forming where Matt had been slapping on. “Fuck.” He groans, the sound of their bodies slamming echoing around the room, the blue hour on the sky was fading away now.
Your vision began to get foggy, panting sounds coming out from you as he slammed himself deeper and deeper inside you, reaching all the right spots. “M-matt.” You moan out repeatedly. Feeling the well-known knot forming once again. His grip on your throat gets tighter as a signal that he’s also close to his release. “You feel so fucking tight.” He breathed out, slamming harshly into you, his nails digging into your skin.
You clench around his shaft, trembling by the pure ecstasy that you felt at that moment. Loud moans come out from you as your juices dripped out of you.
“F-fuck!” Matt whines as his hot cum fills you deep inside, his cock slipping out from you as a thin line of both of your juices trails around your entrance to his dick. The hold of his hand around your throat loosening slowly.
You let yourself fall on the mattress rolling to lie down on your back, huffing a little bit. Matt crawls to the spot next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him.
“What about a good and long shower?” He asks softly, placing a small kiss on your forehead as he strokes your hair lightly.
You chuckled “Sounds good to me.”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
a/n: This was kinda short but I liked it!
tag list: @sturniolossss @tillies33ssss @chrisloyalgf @alorsxsturn @sturnioloslurps @cindylcuwhoknows @3mm4yung @mattsfavwh3re @blahbel668 @lov3bug @ilovethesturniolotriplets @junnniiieee07 @mstarniolo @sara2233445 @mbbsgf @thecynthh @mattsturnioloisbae @will-yummy @braindead4l @freshsturns
532 notes · View notes
auroravictorium · 3 months
Text
anti-hero (k.b.)
i wake up screaming from dreaming. one day i'll watch as you're leaving, and life will lose all its meaning (for the last time).
Summary: reader is awake and heads outside for fresh air. kaz questions whether reader still wants to be with him, and reader begins to heal.
Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship) Word Count: ~4.3k (!!!) Warnings: allusions to reader's recent trauma (kidnapping, torture, severe injuries), mentions of injuries (scars, cuts, bruises), mentions of sibling & parent loss/death, mentions of blood, mentions of kaz's haphephobia, mentions of violence (kaz bashing heads and dangling people of rooftops) Genre: fluffier angst? brief angst then fluff? Author's Note: i really gotta stop with these disappearing acts. anyway, i promised you guys the next part, so here is the next part at a whopping 4.3k. pls enjoy <3 masterlist
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The next few days passed in a blur as you fought to recover from what you'd been through. Nothing aggravated you more than the stiffness of your muscles and the pain throbbing throughout your body; just a week ago, you'd been able to jump across rooftops and snatch a pouch of kruge from a man's pocket without any issue. Now, damn near everything ached, though the vertigo and throbbing in your head had eased thanks to Nina's work.
On one of the warmer days, where the snow had melted into the ground to form a muddy slush, you woke up feeling much better than when you'd been carried out of the warehouse. While the rest of the house slept, you slowly made your way out of the room you were staying in and down the stairs. You stuck to the edges, using the banister to support yourself as you avoided potential creaky spots. The house was in remarkably good condition, but you didn't want anyone questioning why you were up and about on your own. You needed to move, to feel the fresh air again.
To remind yourself that you were free, despite everything.
You slipped on your battered boots, your body aching as you hunched over to pull them onto your feet, then stepped onto the front porch, looking over the bleak, icy land sprawling before you. Crossing your arms to brace yourself against the cold, you stepped off the porch and stood in the snow. You let the muddy slush soak the material of your boots, chilling your skin even through your thick socks.
The air stung your lungs as you inhaled deeply, burned through your chest, and then you let it out slowly, the air fogging before you. To be standing outside felt like bliss; in the open air, you could forget the griminess of your captivity for a moment, the sensation of blood sliding down your fingers, the ringing of your ears as your friends had arrived in a flurry of action and chaos. 
You gulped down more air to chase away the prickling hairs on the back of your neck as you considered all that had happened. Not now. 
You realized then why it was easier to close off, to not think of the horrible things those mercenaries had done, that Rollins and his Dime Lions had done in Ketterdam over the years. Denial was easier than wading through the grief of what happened. Preferable, even.
Snow crunched behind you, but you didn't turn, your eyes still fixed on the empty, slush-covered fields before you. A gloved hand carefully wrapped a worn blanket around your shoulders and lingered for a moment before falling away. Kaz stepped beside you, his coat wrapped tightly around himself; there were dark shadows under his eyes, and his face was a touch paler from exhaustion. 
You frowned at him. "You haven't slept."
"Neither have you," he said quietly, sliding his free hand into his coat pocket and looking down at you. He was silent, his icy blue eyes roaming up and down your form as he surveyed you. The look made you shiver, and you turned your gaze away, a blush unrelated to the cold rising to your cheeks.
Out of your periphery, you saw Kaz slide his hand from his pocket, and you felt the brush of his fingers against your arm, loosely wrapping around your wrist. You glanced up at him, and you let him gently turn your arm so that your forearm was to the sky; he pushed your sleeve up carefully, tenderly, and his gaze lifted from the bandages around your arm to your face, waiting.
"Go ahead," you said softly. You didn't want to hide your pain and your scars from Kaz, even though instincts told you to shield it from him. You ached to hide your weakness like when you first arrived on Ketterdam's streets, to settle into denial and rage. But this was Kaz. You trusted him to catch you if you fell.
Kaz undid the bandages with practiced ease, and you wrinkled your nose as cold air hit your wounded tattoo. The flesh was nearly healed thanks to Nina's hard work, but most of the ink itself was destroyed, only a few dark remnants remaining at the edges of what had once been the crow perched on the cup. Shiny scar tissue lined your forearm, and Kaz ran a gloved finger over the skin. The gentlest of touches, but enough to make you hold your breath and look away.
"I'm sorry," Kaz said, breaking the silence with his raspy voice before you could speak. Though he deemed his investigation complete, he didn't release your arm. Instead, he carefully wrapped the bandages again and secured them in place, his leather touches nothing more than a whisper against broken skin. 
You shook your head. "It's not your fault," you said, looking up at him. You were startled to find his gaze already on you, and your breath caught as you saw the raw emotions flickering there. Concern, anguish, guilt. A raw mix of vulnerability he would never let anyone else see.
Kaz looked back down at your bandaged arm, still in his hold. Black leather gloves against pale white bandages, a stark contrast that he hated. He'd caused this. He was at fault, whether you would say it to him or not. The moment he'd crawled out of that harbor, determined to make the city pay for taking his brother, taking his name, taking his dreams, he'd set everyone around him on a path to harm.
"Kaz," you said, turning your arm in his grip so that you could grasp his. Your breath fogged in the cold air between the two of you, a warning of the winter storm brewing above that you elected not to heed. "Tell me what you're thinking. Please."
He let out a breath, and he wanted to turn away. Your gaze was intense, reaching deep into his soul and threatening to pull out every word he'd stashed away where nobody could ever find them. Most believed he didn't have a soul, and he liked it that way; it was his treasured hiding place of all the things he wanted to say but never would, because Dirtyhands wasn't tender. He wasn't kind or caring. He was ruthless, selfish, and brutal. He bashed skulls into stone floors and tortured men on rooftops.
Yet you seemed to break down his walls with only a look, stripping away the layers he'd created to become Kaz Brekker. You saw him, the boy who grew up on this farm, who fell asleep every night with the threadbare blanket currently wrapped around your shoulders, who believed in goodness in the world.
He struggled to reach into that hidden, tucked away part of himself, to find the words he longed to say to you. I love you. I'm sorry. I am not the man you should want. I love you. I thought I'd lost you. I am a liar. I love you.
I love you, and I thought I had lost the chance to say it.
"Do you still want this?" he managed to say, the words nothing more than a rasp, the sound of sandpaper against wood. Even as Kaz Brekker longed to take steps back, to fling up those walls and fall back into the comfort and safety of being ruthless and harsh, the ground beneath his feet had him rooted in place. The Rietveld farm, where the ghosts of his father and brother lurked in the house just feet away. They were watching, begging him to do better. To be better.
He could be.
"Yes," you said without hesitation, your grip on his arm steady and your gaze unwavering. "I made my decision a year ago. I stand by it." Your words were firm but not unkind, leaving no room for argument or misinterpretation.
A lot of horrible things had happened in the past week. Kidnapping, torture, interrogation, and scarring you hoped would one day heal. And despite the urge to collapse, to fall and give in, you wouldn't. Your friends wouldn't let you. Kaz wouldn't let you. And you wouldn't let Kaz wade into the guilt he was feeling. You'd haul him out by his coat collar if you had to. You wouldn't blame anyone for what had happened to you aside from those who deserved it; the guilt lay with the mercenaries and with Pekka, left behind in that warehouse.
Kaz was quiet for a few long moments. He let your words play over and over again in his mind, searching for any whisper of deceit, any hint of blame from you that would reinforce the guilt that pressed down hard enough on his lungs that he felt like they might be crushed beneath the weight. When he found none, he pushed a slow breath past his lips, trying to ease that pressure. "Alright," he said.
Because as much as he did blame himself, it was your choice. Your decision to stay with him, despite his belief that you would only get hurt again. And he wouldn't take that choice from you, even as everything he'd taught himself screamed at him to distance himself from you until you changed your mind.
He would be better.
Kaz swallowed, realizing he still held your arm in his grasp. He looked down at it again, his hand gently cradling your injured arm, and he slowly shifted his hold until your hand was held in both of his, his cane resting against his hip so it didn't fall into the slush. He could feel the coldness of your fingers through his gloves, and he trapped your fingers between his palms to try and warm them up. 
You stepped closer to him, realizing how cold you actually were, even with the tattered blanket around your shoulders. The heat radiated off him in waves, and soon you were nearly chest-to-chest with him. You tilted your head up to look at Kaz, your heart slamming in your chest as you dared to step into his personal space. He smelled like city smoke, like faint remnants of cologne. Home. Comfort.
"I thought I lost you," Kaz rasped, the words almost inaudible, even as you stood mere inches from him. He almost choked on the words, but he owed it to you to say that. To say so much more. "I thought Pekka had won."
"He didn't," you said quietly. 
"I killed him."
"I know."
His breathing turned ragged. "I should have done worse. I should have made him suffer more."
You shook your head, turning your hand in his palms so you could lace your fingers with his. "You did what needed to be done. Nothing more, nothing less. That's all that matters." You tilted your face up, taking in the emotions in his eyes.
"Before you left, you said..." Kaz's eyes slipped shut. Just say it, you fool. Say it. "You said you loved me."
The words didn't burn on his tongue like he thought they would and didn't taste like salty, bitter seawater. It didn't make his teeth chatter or his clothes feel stuck to his skin. It felt blissfully warm, burning in his chest like it might ignite him from the inside out.
You didn't answer, not wanting to interrupt him as he fought to speak. You had a feeling you knew what he wanted to say, why he looked like he was somewhere between keeling over and taking off across the property to disappear into the treeline. So, you gave his hand a gentle squeeze to encourage him, feeling your heart pound as he spoke again.
"I should have said it back," Kaz said. "I should have told you I..." The words stuck in his mouth like the sticky candy he'd shared with his brother on this very property, the sun beating down on their heads. "I should have..." He faltered again, his brows creasing as he grew increasingly frustrated with his inability to spit the damn words out.
Kaz sighed, the breath rushing out of his lungs and clouding in the air before he managed to force out, "I should have told you that I love you." As the words passed his lips, a feeling of peace came over him. The knot in his chest eased, and the heavy weight within his chest became easier to bear. Taking the chance, he continued, his voice quieter. "You could have died, and all I thought about on the ride here was how I didn't say it back. I just turned away like a fool and sent you into the lion's den."
He was grateful for that temporary moment of relief. At least if you stepped away and changed your mind about wanting this, wanting him, the last thing he would remember of the two of you would be this moment of respite with your hand in his and the knowledge that he'd finally told you what he felt. That would be some consolation before the bitter taste of pain rose.
You stepped closer, cutting off his train of thought by pressing his gloved hand against your racing heart, his palm resting just beneath your collarbone. The words he'd just spoken suddenly seemed far away, and his mind went completely blank as he felt the hammering of your heart against his palm. A stark reminder that you were still alive, and he didn't have to think of the 'what ifs' anymore. You had chosen him. You hadn't changed your mind, after everything.
"Don't torment yourself," you said quietly. Your gaze met his, a simultaneous fierceness and gentleness visible there that almost knocked the breath from Kaz's lungs. "Do you remember what I told you? Your pace?"
The words reminded you of an evening that felt long in the past. The two of you, sitting on Kaz's tiny bed in the Slat and working through his fear when you told him you love him and that he didn't have to say it back until he was ready. Your pace, Kaz.
"I remember," he said, his voice uncharacteristically shaky. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain control of his breathing as he dropped his hand from your heart and twined his gloved fingers with yours once more. Once he was sure he wouldn't hyperventilate or collapse into the icy mud like a fool, he opened his eyes again.
"I love you," you said softly, giving his hand the gentlest of squeezes. The words felt right, just like every time you'd said them, tasting like shots in the Crow Club and snow falling over the city, like a heady bliss you wanted to feel again and again, as though you might never get enough. Though the words felt right, you realized you started trembling after you said them. From the cold? From the vulnerability strung between the two of you? From the anticipation of his response?
Your fingers were cold between Kaz's, and before he realized what he was doing, he caught both of your hands in his this time, clasping them between his gloved palms to warm them up. Only a few inches separated your faces now, and your tangled hands were wedged between your chests. Selfishly, he wanted to close that distance completely, to remind himself of how your lips felt together. It had been six months, and though he thought about that moment in the alley outside the Crow Club every single day, he found that the feeling had begun to drift from his mind.
"We should go inside," he rasped, despite the thoughts warring in his head. You were freezing; that much was obvious. The old blanket he'd brought to you hadn't done much to keep you warm in this bitter weather, especially as a fresh flurry of snow prepared to blanket the ground.
"I'm fine," you responded, though the growing numbness of your nose and ears said otherwise. You were caught in his gaze, trapped by the heated look in his eyes. You'd seen him angry, distant, and vulnerable at times, but the look he wore now was one you hardly recognized. It was one you'd only seen once before, moments before he'd kissed you outside the Crow Club like he'd die if he didn't get the chance.
"That's what most say before dying of exposure," Kaz deadpanned, but even his response couldn't tamp down the burning in his chest. He didn't recognize it, the looseness in his muscles and the burning in his chest. For once, no terror rose in response to your closeness, ready to shove him away with cold, invisible hands.
You rolled your eyes at him. "I can assure you, the cold won't take me out that easily." Still, you shivered just a bit as a slight breeze kicked up to remind you both of the incoming storm, making your words much less reassuring than you wanted them to be. Traitorous nature. But Kaz (and the wind) was right, the two of you should head inside, even if you wanted to bask in the vulnerability and simmering feel of his gaze for a little bit longer.
Taking a step back, you moved as if you might disentangle your hands from his and head back toward the house. Once again acting before he could stop himself, Kaz caught you, his fingers gentle as they wrapped around your wrist. "Wait," he said, his voice almost inaudible. He took a shaky breath as terror sunk its fingers into his flesh again, making his words come out more unsteadily than he intended. "Can I?"
He could win against his fear again, could push himself past the newfound comfort of holding hands with you. He'd done it once, even though it had kicked an unfortunate series of events into motion. But maybe... maybe that wouldn't happen again. It was just the two of you and the cold. No witnesses, no traitors amongst you except the bone-deep terror that threatened to rear its head every time he dared to challenge it.
Confusion briefly flashed across your face, and then your mind went blank with recognition. The memory of the alleyway, a kiss tasting like bitter liquor and snow, flashed through your mind.
Oh. Oh.
You nodded, just as you had before, feeling your cheeks heat up despite the cold.
As he stepped closer, closing the last few inches of distance, you wanted to ask him whether he was sure. He'd opened up to you so much already; you didn't want him to feel obligated to do so further. But he'd initiated it, and you trusted him and his newfound confidence in his ability to heal. 
You were proud of him.
His lips met yours, tentatively at first. They were cold, chapped slightly from the weather, and he waited for the icy terror to yank him to the ground and drown him right there on land. While his legs felt unsteady, pushed and pulled at by his own fear in its twisted form of pale, dead hands in the harbor, he felt like he could keep standing as long as he focused on you.
It no longer felt like the midst of a Kerch winter. As snow fell down and started to kiss your cheeks, you could imagine it was a morning drizzle on a summer day, before the sweltering heat kicked in and was compounded by the smoky air of the city. You felt warm, maybe too warm, and you freed one of your hands to move up and grasp the back of his neck, standing up on your tiptoes to keep the distance between you closed.
Kaz startled at the touch, his hand moving to grab your arm out of instinct as his heartbeat picked up at the feel of your hand on his skin. The touch was foreign, soft, and hesitant, but not unwelcome as he steeled himself against letting his fear take over. He wanted to be able to kiss you, to accept your touch and affection without feeling like he might collapse. 
His determination fueled him to press even closer, his hand releasing your arm in favor of cupping your cheek. He brushed his thumb over your cheekbone, pretending he could feel the softness of your skin beneath his touch. You shivered, and a surge of warmth ran down his spine, making goosebumps rise beneath your hand on his neck.
Distantly, he felt his cane fall from where it had been propped against his hip, thumping against the frozen ground. But his focus was on you. You, your lips, your nose bumping against his as you settled into this still-new feeling, your hand on his neck, your other moving up as if to join the other before chancing it, sliding into the mussed strands of his hair that he hadn't bothered to slick back before joining you out here.
You fought the heat running throughout your body and forced yourself to pull back, gasping a bit and looking up at him. "I'm-" you began, already starting to retract your hands. What if you'd pushed him too far? You'd felt how he tensed beneath your touch for a moment, felt him go somewhere else for just a moment. What were you thinking, Y/N? His pace, remember?
"Don't," Kaz said roughly, knowing precisely what you were thinking. He kissed you again, chasing the euphoria of your lips against his. He surprised himself with how hungrily he kissed you. The feel of your lips was better than any liquor. Better than any drug, or high in the aftermath of a successful heist. He liked the feeling of kruge passing into his hands, but this feeling had quickly surpassed that.
You made a noise of surprise but didn't protest or pull away, sliding your hands back into his hair and through the dark, silky strands. There was a bubble of something in your chest, the urge to chase this and press further, but the burning in your lungs and throbbing of your wounds in response to the worsening cold forced you to pull back far sooner than you wanted to. 
You opened your mouth to speak, ready to ask if he was okay, or what he was thinking. A million emotions were flickering through his eyes, and you were having trouble pinpointing any of them. Just as you recognized one of them as longing, Kaz's face went neutral, the emotions disappearing before you could blink as the front door to the house creaked open. Your head turned, and you saw Nina, who had just woken up judging by the wayward hair framing her face.
"If you two are done frolicking, I figure I should tell you the storm is about to hit," Nina called from the porch, leaning against the doorway with a smugness on her face that made you blush and take several steps back from Kaz. 
Tightening the old blanket around your shoulders, you glanced at Kaz as he grabbed his cane off the ground. His cheekbones were flushed pink, and there was a purse to his lips that gave away his embarrassment at being caught. But as he straightened up, his cane firmly in his hand again, there was a sparkle in his eye as he met your gaze and offered you an elbow to help you back inside.
"Not a word, witch," Kaz said to Nina, eyeing the wicked grin on her face as he tapped his boots against the steps to free the snow and mud from them. He kept his arm extended for you to hold onto as you did the same, noting the winces of pain as the impact sent shocks of pain through the bruises and scrapes on your legs.
Nina gave Kaz an innocent smile. "Of course not." She reached up to pinch his cheek, and he batted her hand away with a sharp glare. "Can't ruin your terrifying reputation, can I?" 
"No bickering before breakfast," Jesper groaned from the couch, pushing the blanket away from his face and yawning. "I can't add any witty commentary on an empty stomach." He sat up and rubbed his eyes before grimacing and hunching his shoulders. "Now, will you please close the damn door? It's freezing out there."
You suppressed another smile, stepping into the house and setting your shoes to the side. As Nina and Jesper bickered, you pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders, sharing a brief glance with Kaz as you settled next to the fireplace to warm up. A flicker of something soft passed through his eyes before disappearing as he carefully leaned down to add another log to stoke the flames. 
Inej padded down the stairs, putting the finishing touches on her braid as she investigated the commotion. If she noticed the faint blush on your cheeks or Kaz looking anywhere but you, she didn't say anything. Instead, she pushed Jesper's legs off the couch to make room to sit, ignoring his groggy protests.
Though you weren't sure anything other than time could heal what happened, being surrounded by your chosen family was a good start. A warmth unrelated to the fire settled over you, a comfort and security that eased the tension that hadn't lifted since your capture. You would heal. Wounds would scar and fade, memories would become less vivid, and the ink along your arm could be replaced one day. 
In the meantime, you'd bask in that warmth, even when your return to Ketterdam inevitably tried to chase it away. 
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 5 months
Text
Captain John Price Masterlist
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➺ All works are F!Reader
➺ 18+ fics will be marked & all works will be sorted from most recent upload to least recent.
➺ Popular fics will be marked with a '✧'
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ONE-SHOTS:
✎ CHOKE ON THE SUN - Angst, torture, 7k event fic, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [You'd known John ever since the Academy, and even after losing touch, the love you had for one another was never gone. Like a snake, it had stayed hidden in unseen places. But it was always there.] ❞
✎ ALL, MOST, SOME, NONE - Heavy angst, character(s) death
╰┈➤ ❝ [Snow melts in the heat of blood.] ❞
✎ LIONS AND IBEXES - Canon-typical violence, wife!reader from 'I'll Take the Nightshift'
╰┈➤ ❝ [Impulsive was what John always called you - affectionately, of course. But he sure does worry when you disappear without him.] ❞
✎ GLORY TO THE REAPER - Angst, pining, hurt/comfort, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [He was strange, you admitted to yourself. Always around even when you didn't want him to be. But perhaps the Brit just might surprise you.] ❞
✎ OUR REMAINS - Pregnancy, angst, fluffy ending, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [You disliked hiding things from John. Certainly something as big as this.] ❞
✎ ORIGAMI BOATS - Connected to 'See No Evil', stalking mentions, trauma, protective!Price
╰┈➤ ❝ [Wounds of the mind are harder to heal than wounds of the body. But can John ever stop blaming himself?] ❞
✎ COMFORTS OF HOME - 18+, housewife!reader, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [Good are the days when you wake up and John is already beside you.] ❞
✎ THE FIVE TIMES - Fluff, awkwardness, inner turmoil
╰┈➤ ❝ [You've never been in a relationship before - at least, one that was romantic. And then on the off chance when you're lending an old book to a childhood friend, you meet John.] ❞
✎ I'LL TAKE THE NIGHT SHIFT - Torture, wife!reader, suggestive, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [Before you knew it, John was gone - taken from right under your nose and leaving you no choice but to retreat without him. But you would do anything to get him back, even go into the lion’s den itself.] ❞
✎ CHEATING HEART - 18+, toxic relationship (previous), cheating, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [Your feelings for John were wrong - horribly wrong - but when you see your current boyfriend in bed with another woman, what's to hold you back anymore?] ❞
✎ SEE NO EVIL - Stalking, intense gore, suggestive, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [The flowers came every week - Tuesday, two O’clock, two minutes after your break. The only problem was that you knew they weren’t coming from John.] ❞
✎ LUSTFUL GOLD AND A CRIMSON-STAINED TONGUE - 18+
╰┈➤ ❝ [It was supposed to be simple - an intel Op. in some Russian arms dealer's mansion. Hell, you were actually looking forward to it, especially with the way John was undressing you with his eyes. You hoped that the red silk dress you had gotten made it through the night.] ❞
✎ LET ME LEAN ON YOU - Intense gore, enemies-to-lovers, suggestive, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [You have a bad habit of putting yourself in harm’s way, enraging John to no end. But can you survive a wound like this? Or will everything you hate to love about John Price never see the light of day?] ❞
✎ THE TRACES HE LEFT BEHIND - Angst, grief, mentions of death, ✧
╰┈➤ ❝ [You had never expected the dog tags to be so heavy, but now, as they sit in your hands, they’re just about the heaviest object you’ve ever held. M.I.A doesn’t mean John’s dead...but it might as well.] ❞
✎ BABY BLUES - Angst, gore, abductions
╰┈➤ ❝ [The promise of a normal Sunday is lost when your door is torn open, and, you, kidnapped. All you can do is pray that John finds you in time.] ❞
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MULTI-PART WORKS:
➺ DAUGHTER!READER:
✎ MEMORIES OF YOUTH - Angst, fluff, banter
╰┈➤ ❝ [It was hard being away from his little girl, but warm mornings spent in each other's company were blessings - even if they were far and few in between. It didn't matter the form.] ❞
✎ DUCKY SOCKS - Fluff
╰┈➤ ❝ [It's your father's birthday, and what better way to celebrate than to go on a hike before giving him the gift he told you not to buy?] ❞
✎ LATE NIGHT COOKIES - Fluff, school stress
╰┈➤ ❝ [Stressed and still awake, you go to grab food from the kitchen before you get right back into your work. Your father talks some sense into you over a nostalgic recipe.] ❞
➺ LIEUTENIANT!PRICE:
✎ CALLUSUS ON HIS GENTLE HANDS - Human Trafficking, blood, trauma
╰┈➤ ❝ [John Price was the one to help you up from the concrete corner you had pushed yourself into when the gunfire had started; his hand holds yours like delicate glass despite the hard calluses. Sticking by him seemed like a good idea.] ❞
✎ CALLUSUS AND MILKY SCARS - 18+, angst, human trafficking
╰┈➤ ❝ [It's been years since you've seen or heard from John and yet you still can't get him out of your head. But can a chance meeting rekindle old emotions?] ❞
➺ SCRATCHES IN THE SURFACE:
✎ PART ONE - Intense gore, heavy angst, torture
╰┈➤ ❝ [Investigating Shepherd was a mistake, but the betrayal of John Price hurt more than anything Shadow Company could do to you.] ❞
✎ PART TWO - Heavy angst, gore, trauma
╰┈➤ ❝ [Finally free from torture and pain, can you ever bring yourself to forgive John for what he caused? Learning to move on and heal is easier said than done.] ❞
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