#blupjeans fic

[fandomsnstuff]

this just started as me wanting to complain about the work it takes to prep a house to sell but now it's kind of an au

@taznovembercelebration

Day 15: vampire au/last

Kravitz is moving for possibly the last time in his very, very long life, and he ruminates a little on what got him to this point.

Read it on AO3

Barry drops another cardboard box into the growing sea of stuff in the garage. “One thing I wish I'd considered before becoming immortal was all the moving.”

“Tell me about it,” Taako says, writing his name on a piece of painter's tape and slapping it on a garbage bag of clothes. “One second I'm joining my hot ancient vampire boyfriend in his immortal curse, and next thing I know, I've moved fifteen times in the last hundred years.”

“We haven't moved fifteen times,” Kravitz skirts around him with another box. “This is only number ten.”

“That's still too many.”

He drops the box on top of Barry's. “It wasn't nearly this much work when it was just me in apartments and such. But four times the people, four times the stuff.”

Taako points at him, “this is the last time. New vamps, new start, new system. Taako can't be doing all this physical labour every couple of years for eternity.”

Barry leans against a stack of boxes. “Maybe this is why you deemed immortality a curse. You've been spending your eternal life doing one of the worst chores an adult can do.” Kravitz just shrugs. Barry says, “this'll be good. The land's nice and far from any prying eyes, and the house Magnus and Julia designed is beautiful.”

“No! More! Moves!” Taako chants.

“Okay,” Lup comes into the garage, “Magnus is on his way with the truck and reinforcements, so he'll start taking loads of stuff to the new house. Stager comes tomorrow, carpets get cleaned Wednesday, pictures Thursday, and we're in business by the weekend.”

“Let's sell this bitch,” Taako says.

A few months later, the old house has sold, and they're settling into their new, custom-built home. Kravitz is sitting out back, watching Lup and Taako argue about toppings by the pizza oven. His heart swells.

He'd been alone for so long. As far as he knew, he was the only vampire left. His life became an exhausting, monotonous dance of isolation. Running from place to place the moment he felt any whiff of suspicion in his direction. But then he met Taako. Handsome, wondrous, stubborn Taako.

Kravitz had wanted to run the moment he realised Taako had taken an interest. But when he started packing his things and looking for a new place, for the first time in centuries, he hesitated. Taako was the first interesting thing to happen to him in ages. Maybe he deserved to have a little fun.

“A little fun” quickly turned into deep, unavoidable love. So Kravitz tried to blow it up. He told Taako they couldn't be together, he walked away and blocked his number and ran. But Taako isn't so easily swayed. Through avenues that Kravitz is still in the dark about, he tracked him down and banged on his door until he was granted entry and an explanation. So Kravitz told him what he was. He told him they couldn't be together because Taako would age and Kravitz wouldn't and after a few decades he would be alone again. He didn't want to know a life of companionship if he was going to lose it in the blink of an eye.

And Taako laughed. He laughed until he had tears trickling down his face. He said, “you thought I didn't know? Babe, the moment you brought me home I knew. I don't give a fuck, all my friends are freaks.”

Kravitz met Taako's friends, and they all seemed normal to him. “Magnus?”

“Werewolf. And Julia.”

“Davenport?”

“Shapeshifter.”

“Merle?”

“Fae.”

“Lucretia?”

“Merfolk.”

Kravitz hesitates, because there's no way he's anything but human, but he has to ask, “Barry?”

“I'll give you three guesses.”

“...no.” Taako smirked. Kravitz stared at him wide-eyed. “There's absolutely no way.”

“Full blooded vampire.”

“Full blooded?!”

“The man has never had a drop of human blood in his veins.”

Kravitz pushed his hands into his hair. “I thought I was the only one left.”

Taako patted his back, “you just didn't know where to look.”

He looked at Taako. “Are you…?”

“I'm the only full human in the group.”

“What about Lup?”

“We still don't really know what she did, but she kind of Danny Phantom-ed herself and has been able to willingly shift to a phantasmal form for a few years now, so,” he shrugs, “she's human, but also maybe half dead? I try not to think about it too much.”

That conversation, as… mind blowing as it was, was the start of the rest of Kravitz's life. Taako made some very compelling arguments and convinced him to come back and try again. It was just under a year after that when he turned Taako. He was hesitant to do it, but was convinced when Taako reminded him that all his friends were immortal, and if he wasn't going to do it, he'd go to Barry, “and I'm not into him like that, so I'd rather not.”

On the back porch, watching the twins, Kravitz finally understands the concept of a forever home. Why spend eternity running when you could travel and have fun and do much more pleasant things than packing? And why not give yourself a soft place to land when you need to rest?

Barry comes outside and sits next to him, holding out a drink. “They're still at it?”

Kravitz takes it. “Yeah. Though they've moved from olives to anchovies.”

Barry chuckles and shakes his head. “I think they'll still be arguing about it when the next ice age comes around.”

Kravitz laughs, and they sit in a comfortable silence for a while. “Hey Barry. You've been around a while.”

“Sure have.”

“So you've been navigating life as an immortal for a long time. Like, almost as long as I have.”

“You've got maybe two hundred years on me, but yeah.”

“Then why the fuck did you let me move the four of us through ten houses in the last hundred years?!”

Barry laughs long and loud. He sighs. “Oh, my god,” he wipes a stray tear away, “I was wondering if you'd put that together.”

“Well?!”

“Oh, man,” he clears his throat. “You'd been on your own for so long, and set in your ways, and so afraid of being discovered, we thought it'd be best to do things your way for a while. To let you get used to us and the group and what have you.”

Kravitz narrows his eyes. Barry bites his lip like he's trying not to laugh again. “There's more. Spill it, Bluejeans.”

“Lup and I made a bet on how many moves Taako could go through before it got to him.” He takes a sip of his drink. “I won, for once.”

Kravitz considers this. “What'd you win?”

He smirks. “You don't want to know.”

“Ugh!” Kravitz stands. “Gross, I don't want to know about your sex bets.”

“I didn't say anything about sex!”

“A non answer is still an answer,” he turns to go back inside, “next time just lie and say money!”

Barry shouts after him, “this is your life forever now!”

#taakitz #blupjeans #taz #taz fic #barry bluejeans #taako #lup #taz Kravitz #kravit adventurezone #lup taaco #taz lup #blupjeans fic

[noodyl-blasstal]

Bones - Blupjeans Week day 5

My @blupjeansweek prompts are part of a story find the others here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | or on Ao3

Barry woke up warm. Barry woke up warm because Lup ran warm. Barry woke up warm because Lup ran warm and she was pressed against his back with her arm slung over his side and her head pressed into his shoulder. He should probably move. Sure, they cuddled sometimes, but this wasn’t that kind of leaning against each other watching a movie cuddle. Right now, Lup didn’t know what she was doing. She was asleep and probably dreaming about someone else and she was going to wake up any second just to be repulsed by what was going on. Or… well, maybe not, because she always said he was great for cuddling. But still, he couldn’t take advantage. He tried to gently wriggle free, but Lup just groaned and snaked her arm further round his middle. Barry froze. If he kept moving he’d wake her, the disco ball was still spinning gently above them and only the dimmest light crept through the gauzy curtains. There was no way it was people o’clock yet and Lup was on driving duty today, ergo, staying still was the best thing to do. Lup got more sleep, he didn’t have to worry about her feeling pressured to drive when she was too tired, and maybe he could slip free once she’d settled again. Barry relaxed, Lup nuzzled his back and he drifted into sleep again.

-

They didn’t talk about it at breakfast or once they hit the road. He’d woken up again hours later with Lup sprawled across his chest, his arm round her, and her legs tangled with his. She’d smiled up at him, sleep mussed and groggy, kissed him on the cheek, mumbled “morning, Bear,” then just gotten up as if this was completely normal for them. At breakfast the server asked how married life was and she told him it was definitely and absolutely different to the 17 years they’d been together at before they tied the knot. Then she held Barry’s hand, and kissed his knuckles, and said “... right babe?” Barry had nodded seriously, like he was in on the joke. Like he was her husband and she was his wife and they were both so tired of the question. She packed up the bags and held his hand on the way out of the parking lot “... just in case anyone’s looking….” so Barry rubbed his thumb across her knuckles and smiled fondly at her, just in case.

– “Okay Bear, you’re on directions now, looks like the satnav has no clue where we are.”

“Oh, yeah, that’ll happen. Means we’re nearly there though!” Barry straightened in his seat but kept his hand looped loosely in Lup’s. Sure, no one from the motel could see them anymore, but she hadn’t moved and he hadn’t moved, and it was fine. Friends held hands, it didn’t mean anything.

“Great! It’s been a while since we stopped at the giant ball of wool, can’t wait to stretch out.”

Barry ruefully let Lup know they were approaching a turn. Every time she let go to operate the gears he worried she wouldn’t put her hand back, that it’d be the last taste of that fondness and he wouldn’t even know it until it was over. “Okay, now it’s the third on the left, but that’s going to take a while on this track. It gets pretty bumpy.”

Lup grinned. “I think I can handle it.” She said, and grabbed his hand again. “But I’ll hold on, just to be safe.”

The car juddered along the track and Barry’s teeth rattled in his skull. He usually hated this bit of the journey, but today he couldn’t focus on anything but the bright warmth on his palm. “Here we are!” He pointed to a wooden framed house with a yellow porch, orange shutters, and a smiling woman in the process of leaping out of her rocking chair to run down the steps.

“Kids!” Marlena yelled happily as Lup parked the car. Lup scrambled out first and was immediately enveloped in a huge hug. “Lup! It’s so nice to finally meet you in person! You’re just as beautiful as you are on video!” Barry eased himself out and stood awkwardly to the side. “Was the drive okay, dear? I hope you didn’t get too tired. Barry, I can’t believe you left her to do the boneshaker track.”

Barry stopped himself before fully reverting to his moodiest teen self and snarking back. “I missed you too, Mummig.” He said with a wry grin. “Now, can I have a hug too? Or have you replaced me? I must admit, I thought it would take slightly longer.”

“I work fast, Bear.” Said Lup, shooting him some finger guns before retreating to the car to forage for her bags.

Barry shook his head, then scooped a laughing Marlena up into his arms. Her soft grey hair tickled his nose, she smelled of rosemary, slowly caramelising onions, and home home home. Barry should have come back sooner. It was so easy to get caught up in research and time just slipped away without him noticing, but it had been too long since he got to hug her like this. He was going to chop and stack so much wood, restock the coal shed, and do everything else a penitent absent son could set his mind to while he was here.

“Sorry Barry, I just wanted to give my daughter in law a squeeze, can you blame me?” Marlena said, close to his ear. Hopefully close enough that Lup hadn’t heard. Barry had no idea how Marlena had clocked his feelings for Lup already, but there was no way he was accidentally telling her via the medium of his mother.

“Oh! Did Barry tell you about the accident at the motel?” Lup looked shame faced. Oh no, of course she’d heard, and she thought that Barry had been disappointed and complained about it? She already felt so needlessly bad about it… Maybe fake collapsing would get him out of this… it worked with the school play when he was 9.

“The what, sorry Lup love, what do you mean? Is everything okay?”

“I’m really thirsty.” Barry announced far too loudly. He couldn’t let this conversation continue happening. No way no how.

“Oh, of course, sorry love, I shouldn’t leave you both stood out here, let me take you inside and get you settled in your room. I made up your bed and popped the trundle in your room, Barry. You were okay to share, weren’t you?” Barry didn’t miss the mischief in her voice, maybe he should just drive away? Marlena wouldn’t miss him too much with Lup around, and Barry could go back to the cryptid motel and make weird sculptures out of roadside junk or something. What could go wrong?

“Lead the way, Bluejeanseseses.” Lup saluted, two rucksacks perched on her shoulders. Barry shook his head fondly and took both of their elbows. It was the gentlemanly thing to do after all.

“We’ll meet you back in the kitchen, Mummig, we just need to dump our stuff.”

“Don’t rush on my account.” Marlena winked at him and Barry blushed violently red. He wasn’t convinced he was going to survive 5 days of this, the first 10 minutes had already been touch and go.

– “Listen…” Said Barry, as he stopped Lup in the hallway in front of a door with a sign which read: Barryabratory - enter if you dare “... the thing is…”

“Barryabratory?” Lup was delighted. This was bad. She’d already pulled out her phone to take a picture, which likely meant that Taako was also going to refuse to let him live this one down.

“I was a baby.” Barry held up his hands to protest his innocence, Lup glared at him, seeing straight through his lies.

“... a baby of…?”

“Fifteen…” There was no point in lying, the faster he admitted it, the quicker she’d get bored of teasing him about it. Lup snickered. “But…” He bravely soldiered on. “... just to warn you. This room? This is Barry unfiltered. I know your nerd radar is solid and you clocked me, loudly…” Barry pretends to glare. “...on day one. But, this is probably… more… you know… than… that.” He finished lamely.

“Full frontal Barry.” Said Lup solemnly. Barry didn’t even know how to process that. “This I need to see!” Lup lunged for the door handle. “I wanna know what extra nerdy shit baby Barry was into.”

She tumbled through the door and froze. Oh. It was worse than he thought. Marlena hadn’t moved anything… he definitely thought he’d asked her to move the animal skulls. Lup was going to think she’d been living with a serial killer, this was bad, this was probably really bad.

“Barry, are those real?”

Yep, she was pointing straight at the dead animal bits, she was going to run screaming and there was no way to convince her not to because ‘his childhood room was full of dead stuff he collected’ seemed like a big old red flag. “Er… sorry… I can move them? I… uh… I mean, yeah. Yeah they are, real, that is.”

“Rad!” Lup said happily, and walked over. “Can I?” She gestured towards the shelf. Barry nodded, barely breathing, waiting in the doorway to make sure she didn’t think he was crowding her. “This one’s corvid, right? Krav’s gonna be so jealous!”

Oh. Oh! Lup didn’t care? Of course, of course Lup didn’t care because she was the most perfect woman to ever grace the earth and she thought his skull collection was ‘rad’. So now he had to fall even more helplessly in love with her. There was nothing he could do to stop it, there was nothing he wanted to do to stop it.

“Ooooh, tell me about these jars?” Lup pointed at Percival, one of Barry’s earliest pickling experiments. “Then you definitely have to tour me round those rocks… Wait! Is that stoat wearing a top hat?” She darted over to inspect Stanley.

“Yeah, I, well I had to make one to fit, but then I had a bit of leftover material so I did the matching bowtie too.” Said Barry as he walked over to join her. He prodded gently at the bowtie, nothing happened. “It used to light up but the battery might have gone by now.”

Lup squeaked in delight. “Barry, I adore you.”

#Marlena has known for years - Barry you are not subtle my dude #She has also clocked Lup #Becuase - you know - everyone knows apart from them #blupjeansweek2023 #Blupjeans #Blupjeans fic #Barry Bluejeans #Lup #Lup Tacco #Noodyl Writes #Taz fic

[jortsman]

Year 87: And the Rain is Pouring in

#btcws #before the century was stolen #the stolen century #the stolen century fic #taz balance #taz balance fic #ipre crew #ipre crew fic #Lup #taako #Barry Bluejeans #blupjeans #blupjeans fic #davenport taz #lucretia taz #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch

[ceilingfan5]

🛒blupped jeans!

“So we’re, you know, two grown adult scientists,” Barry says, staring into the refrigerator. He could easily make a list of the things that are inside. It would not be a long list. “You’re even a really good cook.”

“Ya-huh,” Lup says, not looking up from the delicate Jenga-fication of the shit making their dining room table unusable. They’ve had three living room floor picnics in a row. Honestly it’s been nice to have dinner with her so…consecutively. “What’s the flattery for?” She slips with one of their bills, and the whole tower comes down, squashing a brown bag that might or might not have some kind of specimen in it. “Balls.”

“Not balls, no, not that I’m opposed,” Barry says thoughtfully, squatting, like maybe his perspective on the empty fridge is the problem. 

Itemized list: 

Pickles

Mustard

Kimchi that might be super, super expired, like chew through tires expired

Four kinds of energy drinks (should he list those separately? What kind of taxonomy is he working with here?)

One slice of ham

Limp zucchini, singular

The freezer is not much of an improvement:

Freezer burnt Ben and Jerry’s

Frozen meal Lup won’t eat (x4)

Slice of wedding cake (what’s the tradition supposed to be? Barry can’t remember and he’s too afraid to ask)

Shredded cheese

“We could make…ham…chos. Ham nachos. For one.” 

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Lup winces, looking up from her playful disaster mess. “Like, bad bad?” 

“Well, we still have… mustard…zucchini…bull. It gives you wings, but you’ll regret it.” 

She laughs, and walks over to wraps her arms around his middle. She peers over his shoulder and sighs. “It’s time, isn’t it?”

He nods gravely. 

It’s Saturday, and the grocery store parking lot is packed, and both of them can smell impending doom like a tragedy at the comically large vat of acid factory. 

“We can do this,” Lup says. “Definitely,” Barry agrees. “We’ve got like, 5 degrees between us.”

“Five and three quarters.” 

“We even have a list this time. And it doesn’t just say ‘Food’.”

“In and out. Just, just enough for two weeks of meals. We don’t have to feed an army. And we only need a few treats.”

“Minimal, reasonable amount of treats,” Barry echoes. 

“We’re hot and smart and in love and this Safe-Way cannot defeat us.”

It’s one hell of a rallying cry, but does Lup immediately take the cart on a joy ride when they get inside? Of course. Does Barry overanalyze the produce to the point of overwhelm? If lottery tickets were that predictable, you could call them billionaires. Do they get three kinds of chips? Well, Barry mentioned nachos. It was unavoidable. 

Sure, by the time they get to the checkout, they know they’ve done a disaster problem. And they’re going to hurt for it. But also, they’re winded and red in the face from laughing and kissing between the aisles, and they’ve held hands to the point of the cart crashing into shelves at least three times, and Lup didn’t panic about food security and Barry didn’t wimp out and order pizza for the umpteenth time and they can afford it, and everything is okay. Good, even. 

“Every little moment with you is a sweet adventure,” he murmurs, kissing her hand. He’s still holding it tight. 

“Gross,” Lup says, after giggling so hard she snorted, red and freckled as a strawberry. “What are you, in love with me or something?”

“Yeah,” Barry says. “Bag our fifteen kinds of chips so we can leave this beastly den of fluorescent lights.”

#blupjeans #blupjeans fic #taz #tazb #taz balance #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #fan5fics #thanks! #lup adventure zone #lup adventurezone #lup taaco #barry bluejeans

[anistarrose]

for @taznovembercelebration prompt: Vampire AU, except minus the AU portion! this is a canon compliant, mid-Stolen Century vampire fic :3

Upon awakening in an inexplicably cramped position, Barry Bluejeans notices, in order:

an empty feeling in his stomach,

a dull pain in the side of his neck, and

his own weight in cold, gritty soil piled atop of him, smelling of decay and blocking out all light.

He’s not going to panic. He can do anything but panic, he insists to himself. If he dies, he’ll just be back in a few months, remember? He’s not going to inhale any dirt, and he’s going to scour his last memories, calmly, for an explanation.

He was — he was searching for the Light. Same as always, really. And he was with Lucretia — but she was out of his sight, and so he was probably out of hers, when —

When he got jumped. He crit-failed a perception check, got jumped, and now he’s… buried alive?

This doesn’t add up. Not the fact that someone would bury him alive — he and the crew have died enough times that he figured it might as well happen to the unluckiest among them, eventually — but he doesn’t understand how he actually is handling it how he told himself he should, and not losing his entire mind already. He’s worried; he would very much like not to be in this situation, but he’s not panicking — and that’s a downright uncharacteristic lack of hyperventilating, or pounding heartbeat.

But now, come to think of it — he doesn’t seem to be breathing at all, for that matter. Or feel any heartbeat in his chest, nor a pulse beneath his chin.

Because he doesn’t have a fucking better guess than the first thing that pops into his head, he runs his tongue across his front few teeth — and yep, his incisors are a lot sharper than he remembers.

(keep reading on ao3!)

#taz #taz balance #barry bluejeans #blupjeans #lup taaco #lucretia taz #ipre #taz fanfic #the adventure zone #rosalia writes fic #taz november celebration #taz balance spoilers

[duck-newton]

Barry and Kravitz don’t really like each other at first — they tolerate each other, sure, but Kravitz has been hunting Barry down for ages and Barry has understandably been kind of wary of reapers.

But then Barry mentions offhand how loud Lup snores or Kravitz brings up how Taako takes such long showers that end only when the hot water is all used up, and it turns into a game of “Yours does that too?” And they swap stories of their significant others’ annoying but lovable habits and begin to tease them together

And Lup and Taako realize they kind of miss when their husbands didn’t talk to each other

#i think barry and kravitz’s dynamic is something that is so often unexplored in fics!!!!!! #taakitz #taako #taz kravitz #barry bluejeans #lup #Taz lup #taz taako #taz balance #blupjeans

[sgrumby]

When three big city reapers are sent to Candlenights, Maine, for Candlenights, the last thing they expect is to meet a cute, small town, zombie Santa... But he loves eating shoes, and they're too focused on their big city finance job of "delivering presents to every boy and girl in the world in one night." Can their love work without their husband slash brother slash roommate-coworker finding out?

#HAPPY FIRST AO3 FIC OF THE YEAR I GUESS #that's right. almost 365 full ass days since i uploaded SHIT #it's a miracle i got this done on time also. holy shit #started in september. finished this morning #the adventure zone #taz balance #blupjeans

[lillianabluejeans]

Did someone say mermaids?

@taznovembercelebration Ocean or dirt

-

Not too far off the coast, a boat belonging to the Institute of Marine Research and Conservation (IMRC, if you will), lazily makes it's way through the water. Davenport is manning the helm, Lucretia's keeping an eye and ear on cameras and sensors, and Lup and Barry are watching the water for anything to break the surface.

Their use of the boat isn't entirely kosher, though. The mission they're on would get them laughed out of the room if they tried to propose it. But Davenport can pull rank and get a boat outside of work hours whenever he wants, as long as it comes back in one piece.

Lup perks up from where she was leaning against the railing around the deck. "Bear," she puts a hand on his arm, "do you hear that?"

He pauses and tries to listen past the sound of the boat and the water. "Yeah," he says, "I do."

Coming from a small cave, they can hear a high-pitched wail, like a baby's cry. Davenport steers the boat to the entrance, close enough to peer in, and all of them feel their breath catch.

The cave is a semicircle, with a few feet of a flat rock floor around the edge, the water in the middle laps up onto it as waves come and go.

Lying on that flat rock, is a mermaid. The fin of her deep orange tail is still in the water, she has more orange fins on her back and forearms, webbed fingers, and gills on her neck. She has a series of bleeding wounds on her side and back, her breathing is laboured and her eyes are closed. In her arms is a wailing human baby, wearing a seashell necklace.

Lup carefully jumps out of the boat. The mermaid's eyes snap open and meet Lup's. Lup holds her hands out to try and placate her. "I'm not going to hurt you," she says, "I want to help." She approaches slowly, and the mermaid draws her baby closer into her chest, and it's cries calm to quiet whimpers. She looks scared, and desperate. Lup stops where she is, and kneels to be closer to her level. "Did a human do this to you?"

The mermaid digests this question, then shakes her head. The movement is lethargic. "My own," she croaks.

"Other merfolk did this to you?"

The mermaid nods. Lup bites her lip as she debates her next question. "Where..." she hesitates, "where did the baby come from?" She hopes the mermaid doesn't take it as an accusation, but the baby looks human. She has to ask.

The mermaid looks down to the baby, then, with what looks like a lot of effort, she twists and leans towards the water. She scoops some up in her hand and pours it over the child. With a small shimmer, the baby transforms to have a bright pink tail and fins. "Mine," the mermaid says, laying her head back down on the stone and closing her eyes, "but illegitimate. That's why... this."

Lup picks her jaw up off the floor and says, "they did this to you because... you had an illegitimate child?"

She nods, her movements slowing even more. She opens her eyes and looks up at Lup. They ponder each other in silence for a few moments, then the mermaid pushes the baby in Lup's direction. "Safe," she whispers.

Lup's taken aback. "What?"

"Keep safe, with humans. Merfolk stay away from shore. I return to the depths for eternal sleep."

"No," she finally comes right up to the mermaid, "no, I'm not letting you die." She twists to call back to the boat, "Bear! Bring-"

"Shhh," the mermaid hushes her, putting a hand on her arm, coaxing her to turn back towards her. "Time is up," she whispers, her eyes lidded. She lowers her hand to rest on the baby's chest. "Take her," she says. Hesitantly, with shaking hands, Lup takes the small mermaid into her arms. The mermaid keeps her hand on the baby and says, "keep safe. Let swim, but keep close to shore. Sea is in her blood."

"I will," Lup says, "I promise."

The mermaid smiles, and her eyes flutter shut. Her hand falls to the ground, and her whole body starts to shimmer. Moments later, all that's left is seafoam. Water laps up over the edge of the stone floor and starts to carry it away. Lup looks at the baby in her arms. The water her mother put on her dries up, and her tail shimmers and disappears. She looks up at Lup with big curious eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby," Lup says, her voice wavering, "I wish I could've done more."

The baby eats her fist and whines. Lup kisses her forehead. "Come on, you're probably cold."

She stands and walks back to the boat, where Barry, Davenport, and Lucretia are all waiting for her with teary eyes. Lup climbs up with the baby, and is handed a towel that she wraps around her. "We'll have to, um," she sniffs and wipes under one of her eyes, "call Kravitz. He can probably get us a- a birth certificate. And stuff."

"Maybe you should sit down, babe," Barry says.

She lets him guide her into a seat. "I should've asked for her name. Both of their names. Now she'll have some- some human name we come up with, and I won't be able to tell her her original name. Or her mother's name. Fuck." Her vision is blurry. She blinks, and she feels tears roll down her cheeks. "Shit."

Barry crouches in front of her, "maybe someone else should hold her for a minute."

"No." Lup holds her closer. "I can hold her." She looks down at her little face as she starts to settle into her embrace. Lup feels her lip quiver and she shakes her head, "this wasn't how I wanted to make this discovery."

"I know," Barry brushes away some of her tears, "but there's nothing we can do about it anymore. We don't even know if we could've saved the mother." He stands and kisses her forehead. "But we can keep the baby safe. She'll grow up happy and healthy and loved."

Lup nods. She looks out over the water as Davenport drives them back home. She wonders how far out the merfolk are. If they're still looking for the woman and her baby. She wonders how long they'll search.

She looks back down to the baby, and notices the seashell necklace again. It's almost comically big, sitting against her little chest. She turns it over and inscribed carefully on the back in neat, swirling letters, is the name Lilliana.

Lup smiles softly and looks at the baby's face. "Hi, Lilli," she says, "I'm going to take real good care of you."

#blupjeans #blupjeans baby #taz fic #barry bluejeans #lup taaco #taz au #dont @ me about lilliana not being a mermaid name mermaids arent real anything can be a mermaid name

[fandomsnstuff]

Dont @ me about fae lore this is purely vibes

@taznovembercelebration

Day 19: eyes/fae au

Barry's daughter was stolen and traded to the fae by her mother for a chance to start over. He'd like her back, please.

Read it on AO3

It's been months since his baby was stolen. Barry's trekked far and wide searching for her, but he's come up empty handed. He curses her mother. Or more fittingly, the woman who used to be her mother. He sensed that she wanted to leave, and he tried to tell her that, if she really wanted to, she could just go. He'd rather his daughter grow up with just him who adores her, than have a mother who's not interested. But instead she stole and traded their child away to the fae for a chance to start over. He's been looking for a way to get her back ever since.

He searched through the woods near his home, a small farm at the edge of town, as it's the only place that woman could've gone to find fae to talk to. But whatever fae had been there were long gone. So now he's far from home, in unfamiliar woods, hiking almost aimlessly, hoping for a miracle.

He comes across a fairy ring.

This in itself isn't his miracle. He's found a few, but has never made contact with any fae. He takes a deep breath and steps into the circle. “I need help,” he announces to the forest. “My daughter was stolen from me. Her mother traded her away to the fae. I'd like her back.”

It becomes eerily quiet. The leaves stop rustling and the birds stop chirping. There's a swirl of golden light, and a fae stands in front of him. He's tall and lithe, with brown skin, long pointed ears, gold eyes, and golden curls falling over his shoulders. “Your daughter, you say?”

Barry feels as if his breath has been taken away. Finally, progress. “Yes.”

“How long ago was this?”

“A few months. She'd just turned one when she was taken. Her name is Lilliana.”

The fae regards him and hums. “Wait here.”

He vanishes. The sounds of the forest return, but only for a moment. In another swirl of gold light, the fae returns twofold. The first one he'd been talking to stands behind a woman nearly identical to him. She's holding a young child.

His child.

She looks healthy, and unharmed. But one of her blue eyes has turned gold, and her ears have a slight point to them now.

“Lilli,” he breathes, and his hands come up instinctively to reach for her. She reaches for him in response, babbling happily.

The fae holding her draws back and glares at him. “Who are you?”

“I'm her father. I want to take her home.”

“She was given to me fair and square. I'm her mother now.”

“How is it fair that I didn't get a say in this at all? I woke up one day to my daughter gone and my wife leaving.”

Lilli reaches an arm out towards him and whines, looking up at the fae holding her. The woman strokes her hair gently, then looks back to Barry, frowning. “I was told her father wasn't interested in being such.”

“That's blatantly untrue.” He feels a lump forming in his throat. “She is all I have ever wanted. I took care of her more than her mother did. This was not a trade to benefit everybody, just her.” Lilli's starting to cry properly for him now. He looks the fae in the eye and says, “would I have come all this way if I didn't care.”

She tries to soothe the baby, and the silence stretches as she considers his words. “Let's make a deal.”

Barry leaves that interaction without his daughter, but with a promise that she'll be returned to him in a month's time. But he doesn't get to keep her forever, a month after she's returned to him, the fae, Lup, will take her back for another month.

Oddly, coparenting with a fae isn't as weird or difficult as Barry thought it would be. Sure, his daughter looks a touch different and has a dusting of magical powers, but all in all… he can operate as normal. He misses her when she's gone, but in the times he's seen Lup, she does seem to genuinely care about Lilli and her wellbeing.

When her second birthday approaches in December, they're about six months into their arrangement. He tried to negotiate Lup into letting him have her through that month, but she would have none of it. So he's alone, reading by the fireplace as a blizzard howls outside when someone knocks frantically on the door. He gets up, and opens it to Lup shivering on the doorstep with Lilli in her arms. “I'm sorry,” she says, looking frazzled and on the verge of tears, “I didn't know where else to go.”

He ushers them inside, and sits Lup down by the fire. She holds Lilli tightly against her chest. She stares into the fire, and he wraps a blanket around them. He sits across from her and asks gently, “what happened?”

She presses her lips to Lilli's hair then rests her chin on top of her head. “I left.” She's quiet for another stretch, only the crackle of the fire between them. “They found out about me bringing her back here, and they made me choose. Either I keep her there forever, or I give her back forever.” Her voice wavers, “so I left.”

“You didn't just keep her?”

She looks at him. “Would you have wanted me to?”

“Of course not, but… I mean, you're fae. The whole thing is… you know.”

“Maybe I'm sick of their whole thing,” she mutters into Lilli's hair. “You're a good man, Barry. I've been alive for a long time, and I don't think I've ever seen a mortal man travel so far and fight so hard to get his child back. I couldn't in good conscience keep her away from you.” She squeezes Lilli a little tighter, “but I didn't want to lose her either.”

Before he can answer, there's another knock on the door. He opens it to Lup's brother, who marches in past him. He stands above Lup with his hands on his hips. “Are you stupid?”

“Taako, be nice. Say hello.”

“Hello. Are you stupid?”

“I couldn't just-”

“You thought you could just leave without me?”

She blinks. “What?”

“We've been talking about how sick we are of those absolute bores, then you just up and leave without me!”

“I'm. Sorry? I didn't think you'd actually want to.”

“I'm bored of immortality, it makes things less exciting. So I'll stay here with you.”

Lup looks to Barry, asking a silent question. He shrugs. “Yeah, alright. But I've only got one spare bedroom, so you'll have to share.”

#taz fic #blupjeans fic #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup taaco #lup #taako #taz #taz lup

[noodyl-blasstal]

King of the (bouncy) Castle

It's @taznovembercelebration day 17 and today I drew the prompt "soft"

Read below or on Ao3 if you prefer. Missed yesterday's? Find it here.

-

“Ko!” Lup yells from the hall.

“What?” He screams from his bedroom, because he’s still deciding on what to wear and if it’s that urgent she can come in.

“Do you know anyone else?”

“In general? Or?”

“Don’t be a dick. Do you know anyone who can come today?”

“Why?”

“Magnus had to drop out.”

“We can win without him.”

“A team is four people.”

“Ask Dav.”

“He’s racing today”

“Lucretia?”

“She just laughed until I hung up. It was a solid 3 minutes.”

“Merle?”

“I’m going to need you to work from the assumption that I have remembered our joint friends with whom we spend all our time”

“But seriously, Merle.”

“Taako, I have tried everyone we jointly know. He said he was going to be busy in the greenhouse, and then he said some other things. Would you like me to tell you what those other things are? Because I can. I can tell you exactly what he had planned for the onions because he told me because I had him on speaker phone and I got trapped in my shirt and he said a lot of words before I could hang up. They’re burned into my brain forever and cha’girl is happy to share that burden.”

“No! Lulu, don’t! I’ll cast silence.”

“I’ll counterspell it. Now start thinking of people.”

“Angus?”

“I also know Angus, and he’s a literal child.”

“He’s, what, 6 now?”

“He’s eleven, Taako, you baked him a cake in the shape of the number for his birthday two weeks ago.” There’s no need for Lup to slander him like this.

“Eleven! That’s basically an adult for humans, right?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you going to stop doing special magic boy lessons with him because he’s all grown up now?” Lup goes for the jugular. He doesn’t have to stand for this cruelty, for the implication that he actually likes spending time with the baby.

“What aboutttt… erm…” Taako changes the topic seamlessly and casts his mind furiously about for a name, any name, of a person Lup wouldn’t have already called. There’s one that popped up as soon as Lup asked and he’s trying his best to see round it but it keeps sidling into his eye line. He can’t though. It’d be a disaster. “Errrrr… Brian.”

“No. Absolutely anyone else.”

“What’s wrong with Brian?”

“He’s in a cult!”

“But apart from the cult stuff he’s lovely.”

“Taako! Do you want to win or not?”

Fine. Fine! Taako does very much want to win, especially after Lydia tripped him last year.

“Kravitz.” He says it fast, like he’s ripping off a plaster. Maybe Lup won’t put two and two together.

“The guy from work?”

“No?”

“Oh, you know another Kravitz, do you?”

“Yes?”

“Is any of that supposed to have convinced me?”

“Is it working?”

“No.”

“Fuck.”

“So… different Kravitz? How do you know Kravitz-Who’s-Not-From-Work? Why do you have a way of getting in touch with him?” Lup’s going to cling to this an unnecessary amount.

“Ooooh are we talking about Kravitz?” Barry, fucking Barry, asks. Wandering his ass right into their private conversation.

“This is a private conversation, Barold.” Yells Taako through the door of his room into the hall of their too-small shared apartment.

“Would you like me to put my noise cancelling headphones on?” Barry asks, earnestly, like he’d actually fucking do it if Taako said yes.

“Absolutely not, Barry, You live in this house and you have every right to be in this hallway.” Lup snaps. She’s still mad about last time Taako forgot to tell Barry he could take the headphones off. In his defence, he made him a cake about it. A jake, in fact, with edible press studs. Barry loved it! Plus, he was listening to one of his lectures, he was fine, happy as a clam!

“Fine.” Taako threw up his hands, no one could see him, but it felt important to do it anyway, you know, for the drama. He couldn’t argue with this, he didn’t have a choice, he may as well give in and call Kravitz, they’ve both worked together to twist his arm. “You’re making me do this though. It’s not because I want to. I’ve been compelled.”

“What?” Says Barry, perplexed. “I thought we were just talking about your crush.”

“His what?” Says Lup.

Taako springs forward and manages to flick the lock across the second before Lup tries the handle.

“You’re in love with death?” She tries the handle a few more times, as if it’ll jiggle the lock free.

“A man isn’t his job, Lup.” Taako shouts back. Denying everything.

“That wasn’t a no!”

“I have to ring him, because you’re making me. Or do you not want to win Bounce Off 2: Bounce in the City?”

There’s grumbling from the other side of the door followed by a muttered “c’mon Barold,” fakeout. Taako’s wise to it though, so he isn’t shocked by her ‘one last try’ of the door handle, or the second attempt that follows after she does fake footsteps away from the door.

“Fine! He’d better be down though and good.”

“He’s tall.” Says Barry, conversationally. He’d better not plan on telling Lup anything else.

“Good. We can use height.Is he strong?” Lup asks.

Kravitz is strong, Taako knows that for normal reasons, reasons like he can carry a lot of pastries when he orders them; and that time he helped Taako move the big table when someone spilled and he had to clean under it. Not reasons like all the time he spends staring at Kravitz’s forearms, and his thighs, and his everything else. Because he doesn’t do that. Taako would never.

“Fine. Don’t answer me.” Lup actually leaves this time, Taako pretends he can’t hear Barry telling her about Kravitz and his newfound love of coffee and baked goods.

Taako [10:23] Yo stud got a minute to chat?

It was only polite to text first, he doesn’t want to jumpscare Kravitz with a phone call, he isn’t a sadist. The three dots flashed up immediately. Thank fuck he’s awake at the crack of dawn.

Bones [10:24] Dear Taako, Of course, I’ve always got time for you. All best, Kravitz.

Taako has been trying hard not to find his ridiculous dork texts endearing. He’s failing. Badly. He ignores the squooshy feeling it gives him and hits the call button instead.

“Hello Taako, it’s lovely to hear from you!” Says Kravitz like he actually means it.

“Hey Krav, quiiiiiick q for ya. What’re you doing this morning?”

“I’m just practising.” Of course he is. Why wouldn’t Kravitz be sat straddling his giant instrument right now? Taako’s mature though, he won’t make a joke about it.

“Can’t keep your hands off your instrument, shameful!” Fuck.

“Well, someone has to keep it in tune.”

Gods, he wasn’t supposed to play along. Why did he keep flirting back? Was this whole thing actually plausible?

“Wanna spend some time with Taako instead?”

“I’d be very interested in that.” Kravitz says, buttery and glorious.

“How do you feel about inflatables?”

There’s a long pause.

“It’s not a sex thing.” Taako says, to make it less weird.

“I’m not sure that makes what you said less weird, Taako.”

“You know, like bouncy castles.”

“Okay.” Kravitz doesn’t sound particularly convinced.

“And my sister will be there.”

There’s another pause. “...And Barry?”

“Obviously.”

“Uh huh.”

Fuck, Taako’s losing him, and it’s suddenly incredibly important that Kravitz not only agree to this, but is also enthusiastic about it. “It’s a competition.” Says Taako.

“Oh?” Of course that piqued his interest, Kravitz loves competition. He tries to help harder than any other customer, tip better than anyone else, and he races people in the street.

“We lost last year, but we’ve been in training.”

“You’ve been in bouncy castle training?”

“Obstacle course training… and also trampolines.”

“Is that what the weird squeaking is when we’re on the phone sometimes?”

“What?”

“You know, the calls where you’re all breathy and there’s the squeaking noise.”

Taako didn’t realise Kravitz had picked up on that. “You didn’t think…?”

“Well now I know it’s not a sex thing.”

“You thought it was a sex thing and you stayed on the phone?”

“I don’t judge.”

“You didn’t wanna ask Taako what he was up to?”

“I know you’re a private person.”

“Not if you think Taako’s doing sex things on the phone without your consent. In fact, that’s the least private a person can be.”

“You make a compelling point.”

Taako doesn’t even begin to know what to do with that. “So… bouncing?”

“Where is it?”

“We can pick you up.”

“All three of you?”

“Barry said he’s sorry and he’ll stop asking about the ‘secret sauce.’”

“I just really don’t think it’s a respectful way to talk about embalming fluid.”

Taako thinks it’s a great way to refer to embalming fluid, but he also wants Kravitz to be happy. “He double pinky promised.”

“Oh, well if he double pinky promised.”

“Great! Pick you up in 20, wear something snazzy.”

Taako hangs up the phone before Kravitz can object or ask anything else. He has limited time and an outfit to re-plan.

#taznc #taz november celebration #Taakitz #Background Blupjeans #Taako #Kravitz #Lup #Barry Bluejeans #TAZ Balance #TAZ Spoilers #TAZ fic #Noodyl Writes #Mild references to sex #Are these getting more unhinged? No. We've been like this from the start

[jortsman]

Year 90: Pretend

#aaaaah getting so close to actually having this done #hella nervous about doing 92 though blsdfjkhs #before the century was stolen #btcws #taz balance #taz balance fic #ipre fic #ipre crew #the stolen century #the stolen century fic #blupjeans #blupjeans fic

[ceilingfan5]

17 (lab safety) blupjeans?

[id: a google search of "is kissing allowed in lab safety"]

[id: art of Lup, an elf with dyed hair in a flame-ombre, holding a banana and arguing with barry bluejeans, a human wearing glasses and gesturing with the hand off a dead body. they are both wearing labcoats.]

“I can excuse unethical science but I draw the line at skirting lab safety. You cannot be eating right now.” 

“Oh, oh, you can excuse unethical science, huh?” Lup puts down her banana in order to fold her arms indignantly. “You say that like this wasn’t your idea.”

“It wasn’t my idea!” Barry protests. “You were the one that was like, hey, we could totally do a resurrection in my dorm room, Frankenstein style, and-”

“And you agreed! And you have been driving the equations and chemical purchases and runic research and-” 

“And you’re missing my point, Lup, I said you can’t eat in here!”

“Oh, so, so a girl can’t have a fuckin’ Frankenstein snack? Not one single little necromancy ‘nana?”

“No!” Barry insists, waving the arm he’s holding. Shit, maybe he should put that down. “And we talked about the Frankenstein thing, we’re not following his example.” Barry pushes up his glasses. “Frankenstein wasn’t even a doctor, and he didn’t treat Adam with compassion, god damn it, and in addition-”

“Bear, Bear, I know this, and I love you, I was just making a joke.” Lup shakes her head and throws the banana in the trash. “Can’t believe you’re such a stickler.”

“It’s important. I don’t want you to die. For multiple reasons.”

“Shall you count the ways?” Lup teases. She walks over and kisses him on the cheek. 

“I mean, I could.” Barry gets back to readying the sewing equipment to reattach the arm. “For one, I like you.” He kisses her back, like a reflex. And he can’t help but smile.

“Awww.”

“Also I don’t know how good this works yet, and I don’t want you to be my second experiment. I want the method to be proven and safe. Also also, what if you come back wrong? This is historically a fuckin’ problem, you know, in these sorts of situations. I don’t want anti-Lup. I want my Lup.”

Lup cracks up. 

“Maybe it’d be hot if I came back wrong,” she argues, washing her hands and putting a new pair of gloves on. “Maybe I’d be dark and mysterious and a little fucked up. Maybe my soul would be misshapen and you’d still have to love it.”

“Of course I’d love your misshapen soul,” Barry says, exhausted. “But I’d rather not, you know, have to. So no more…murder munchies.” 

Lup snickers, and gets back to work. 

“Mmm, four out of five. Very alliterative, but it wouldn’t murder me. Murder requires intent.”

“You don’t know what that banana was planning,” Barry says gravely. 

#blupjeans #this is silly #barry bluejeans #lup #lup taaco #taz lup #taz barry #taz b #taz balance #taz #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #blupjeans fic #im experimenting with art to go with fics...do we like this? is this okay??

[fastasyoucan1999]

the last test and proof

After the events of Story and Song, it unceremoniously falls on Taako to take care of Angus. Together, they move into a very old, dilapidated and probably haunted farmhouse.

teen, one-shot, 30k

On the backend of autumn, Taako unsticks his heel from the mud of the walk. Overhead, the sky promises slates of rainfall. He heaves a bag across one shoulder, the other hand tugging along a suitcase. The funeral march up the road was wet and deadly; the glum sides of a broken fence tailing his steps. Behind him is Angus, ghostly, nearly transparent, and looking as sullen as he has normally looked this past week.

Before them, rising in a gloom of warped wood, its windows like black eye sockets, is the farmhouse Angus’ grandfather abandoned in death. The winter seems to stick to it, a second skin of chill, the chimney raised and unlit like a frozen off limb. The front doors are dark and unwelcoming. A hollow wind erupts across the surrounding field, turned a somber blue from the evening, and catches Taako’s velvet cloak in a strangled twist.

“Hello, Monster House,” Taako says gravely.

read here!

#baby's first tumblr post so cute! #sorry to everyone that doesn't care about the adventure zone lol #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz #taz fic #taz balance fic #taako #angus mcdonald #taakitz #blupjeans #the farmhouse #my writing

[anistarrose]

“…Taako, I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

“Don’t fucking say that.” Taako grips Lup’s hand tighter, tighter, as if he can somehow squeeze a stronger pulse back into her. Her fingers are slick with sweat. “You’re not allowed to fucking give up on me.”

“I’m… not. I’m not,” Lup mumbles. She’s not looking at him — not concerning in and of itself; they’ve never needed to meet eyes to understand what the other means — but as for the way that her head slips off her pillow, the way that she’s curling in on herself…

It makes Taako’s stomach erupt into pain, and he’s not the one who taste-tested the chicken.

(Part of him wishes that he was.)

“I just… need to know that you’re ready,” Lup whispers, and Taako can’t tell if it’s a drop of sweat or a tear that runs down her face. “To… take care of yourself…”

He wants to tear his hair out and scream. He wants make yet another scene that gets Glamour Springs’ poor overburdened healer running in from the next room, and he wants to ask — how the fuck could he ever be ready for this? What the fuck is he supposed to do without her —

But all he says is: “Stop. Just — stop. You need to rest.”

(keep reading on ao3!)

#taz #taz balance #taako taaco #lup taaco #barry bluejeans #blupjeans #taz fanfic #the adventure zone #blt trio #taz balance spoilers #rosalia writes fic #:)

[taakosleftshoe]

Cartoonish Sounds of glass shattering in shock

Sounds of tires screeching and cars crashing *explosion gif*

#look i love them i do you will not catch me turning down a blupjeans fic #but i am unwell #ten percent... of all fics in the taz fandom... are f/f... #guys we are supposed to be a gay fandom.... #sierra speaks #im being silly . im silly #dont ask me about how many of those tahged f/f are just subtags on a fic where theyre background characters #because i will start fucking crying #taakitz jumpscare <- tagging for friend

[herbgerblin]

for the fluff prompts, blupjeans for 18!

“you come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

—

Barry unfortunately knew jack shit about paintings. He knew about popular painters, of course. He even owned a couple of paintings that he liked. But the Art World™ generally bewildered him. And right now he was staring at a collage of photorealistic objects merging into a cacophony of neon-colored, abstract blobs and zig zagging brush strokes. It made him feel even more out of place than he already was.

Behind him was a gathering of other professionals and scholars in various areas of the arcane sciences. He only agreed to attend the luncheon at the local art museum because he had skipped out on two previous work socials, and the department head had been breathing down his neck about it. Now, one opening speech and a shrimp cocktail later, Barry was already wondering what constituted as a reasonable time to sneak away.

Seventeen minutes obviously wouldn't cut it, so for now he was biding his time. He tried to get immersed in the art, but he eventually settled for leaning forward to read the little title cards. The one for the visual mess in front of him was called, "Touch Grass." Artist name, Archibald. It was priced at 69,000gp.

"Nice," Barry murmured.

"I agree," said a voice to his right.

Barry nearly leapt out of his skin! He didn't do that though. Instead, he straighten up to acknowledge the person who daringly snuck up next to him. Maybe not snuck up, but he had been zoning out pretty hard, admittedly. It was habitual.

He was met with the curious face of an elven woman. She was dressed in a white button up, a black pencil skirt and a short apron. She didn't look at all concerned by his sudden reaction. Instead, she gestured with her hand to another painting around a corner and said, "This one's pretty intense. If you need a mental palette cleanser, I suggest that bad boy over there."

She sidestepped to let Barry have a look, and Barry wordlessly obliged. The art piece in question featured a giant, white canvas with three, tiny, silver squiggly lines painted in the center. A row of stage lights illuminated it from above. It was titled, “An Inexplicable Observation of the Continuous Herewith and Ontoward.” Lumalinus. Priced at 5000gp.

“This has High elf written all over it," the lady said. "I can say that, I am one.”

She didn’t look like any of the High elves Barry was familiar with. At least not university faculty. Most dressed in flawless, well tailored suits. Or hand made garments that had been embroidered over centuries. And they carried themselves with the airs of nobility.

The stranger still at his side was leaning on her hip, and her apron had obvious food stains on it. But she otherwise looked very neat. Her thick, curly chair was pulled up into a highly ponytail, with lots of pins to hold back rogue wisps. From where she stood, the stage lights haloed a pretty face with tan skin and warm freckles.

Say something goobus, Barry thought, quickly realizing he was staring more intently at her than he had at the paintings.

“Y-you come here often?” he asked.

The lady smirked and tapped on a little name tag pinned to the right side her shirt. The name read, "Lup Taaco."

She replied, “Well considering I work here, yes.”

"Oh." Barry could feel his face turning red. Godsdammit. He rubbed the back of his neck and tore his eyes back over to the painting. "Well, I guess you've gotten a pretty good look at most of these works already."

"This gallery for sure," she replied, nodding. "But we've just recently updated one of the other wings. Less surreal, and more biology inspired. I recommended it if you're the nerdy type."

Barry felt like that was a light jab at him, with his tweed jacket and bluejeans. But he liked that she was down to earth with her art knowledge.

"Would you mind showing me where it is?" Barry asked, before recalling that there was a luncheon going on. "Oh, unless you're busy."

"Nah, it'd be my pleasure," she replied. As she led him away from the rest of the group, she gestured at her messy apron. "I actually work the front desk, but we were short staffed on catering today. So cha'girl ended up on shrimp duty."

Barry held up his mostly finished shrimp cocktail. "My compliments to the chef."

That got a smile out of her that rendered him speechless once again. Which actually turned out fine, since Lup proved that she definitely knew her ins and outs of the museum. She gave a comprehensive description of each exhibit, in such a way that never left Barry feeling bored.

They exchanged names and bits of info about each other. The pair also took turns determining their favorite art pieces as they continued touring.

There was a chalk drawing of a man eating a bowl full of purple broccoli, titled, “My Friends All Want to Play Fantasy Smash Brothers but I Want to Play Fantasy Mario Cart. This Blows.” Tifty. 20,000gp.

A vacuum cleaner filled with worms on strings, resting on a fuzzy carpet that was also littered with worms on strings. “It’s Not a Phase, Mom.” Shoto-Karagon, 7,500gp.

A photo of a mouse dragging a slice of pizza down some stairs. “Due to Inflation this Image is Now Worth 11,500gp.” Walton. 12,000gp.

"I would drop fat money on that worm-vacuum," Lup declared. "Worm-cuum.”

“I don’t know, the inexplicable whatchamacallit was really speaking to me," Barry said, absolutely joking. "I could see it hanging over my couch.”

Lup snorted and elbowed Barry's arm, which made him blush yet again. He'd completely abandoned the luncheon and had no regrets about it. Time seemed to fly by the two of them with reckless abandon.

“Oh, this one makes me sad," Lup said, her voice softening suddenly. "But I keep coming back to it.”

They paused their tour in front of a large installation of suspended statues. The focal pieces were two humanoid figures made of delicate porcelain. Their clothes rippled around them as they descended down crystalline pieces that collectively made a winding staircase. The figure in front appeared to reach back to the figure right behind them. The figure behind appeared to crane towards the figure right ahead.

“They always look like they're gonna touch each other's hands," Lup explained. She slumped the side of her face on her own palm. "But they never do.”

Barry glanced from the beautiful installation to Lup's surprisingly forlorn expression. It saddened him to think that she always had to walk by this thing that she loved, and never feel satisfied by it. He looked back at it, before quickly spotting a title card on the wall a few feet behind where the figures were suspended.

"Maybe the artist made other sculptures like this one?" he suggested. He walked over to read the card, keeping an eye out for any "Do not cross this line" signs on the floor. There weren't any here, so he felt okay maneuvering around the sculpture. "Like a continuation of the story they were trying to tell."

"This installation was from an anonymous donor," Lup replied. "And as far as I know, it's a standalone piece."

"Huh," Barry said. The title card simply read, "Salut D'Amour." Nameless. No price given. Barry turned around to look at the piece. “Maybe you just gotta…oh shit...”

He blinked and silently gestured for Lup to join him. She did so, curiosity bubbling across her face. Barry scooted over a bit to give her room, and she followed his line of sight towards the statues. She let out a small gasp.

Barry's words came back to him. “...find the right angle.”

From where they both stood, they could now see the point where both figures were gleefully descending the glittering staircase, hand in hand, not letting go.

“Wow,” Lup murmured.

Barry was too aware of how close he and her were squeezed together in the corner. His face was burning like a furnace and he had no idea if this was entirely appropriate in an art museum. But seeing Lup look at her favorite art piece with a newfound appreciation, Barry couldn’t take his eyes away from her. Lup turned her happy gaze at him, grinning from ear to ear.

“I don’t think anyone's figured it out since we’ve put it up," she said, in almost a whisper. "So for the time being, this is our little secret."

"I think this one might my favorite too," Barry replied, matching her smile.

"You have excellent taste."

#hmm this started out much shorter and then veered a hard left #its because i crave going to art museums #blupjeans #taz balance #lup #barry bluejeans #my writing #herbgerb fic #the adventure zone