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#bodhi x johnny
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What is it about movies that are clearly catered towards cis het men but have thicc homoeroticism?
Like you can’t look me dead in the eye and tell me that Keanu Reeves Johnny Utah and Patrick Swayze Bodhi from Point Break(1991) weren’t literally eye fucking and pining in every scene.
Or TopGun: Maverick(2022) has Milles Tellers “Rooster” and Glen Powells “Hangman” weren’t always seconds away from fucking every time they intersected.
Like damn no one does it like a straight man movie.
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treedaddymcpuffpuff · 1 month
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🫧 ━━ JOHNNY UTAH X CHUBBY F READER IMAGINE𓈒
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𓈒part I 𓈒cheeky Johnny
𓈒inspo: @tedsbogusworld’s 🤖
━━ you are bodhi’s little sister
━━ just trying to make it through college while working part-time at the aquarium
━━ your parents aren’t around anymore, so you’ve been taking care of your older brother (paying the bills and rent with tuition money, stocking the fridge, dragging him in from the yard where he’s passed out in a puddle of beer and vomit in the cool waking sunset)
━━ your big brother throws the wildest parties ; you avoid them at all costs, shut yourself in your room, hide away at the beach, stay late at work. it’s just not your scene
━━ plus, his friends aren’t nice, especially not when they’ve been drinking, and being surrounded by tall, athletic bodies in tight swimsuits is detrimental to your baggy clothed, short, chubby self esteem
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one night, you get home super late, but the party is still raging. Spilled cans of liquor on your floor, an unattended bonfire that you have to put out with the hose - we’re in a drought for chist’s sake, have some common decency, bodhi.
bodhi catches you in the kitchen, much to your scowling dismay, and has someone he wants you to meet. you’re really not in the mood for his antics tonight - he’s so drunk and high he can barely keep two feet parallel with the ground - so you basically tell him to fuck off
but, bodhi is super bad at respecting boundaries. it inflates when he’s under influence. he’s got you face to face with a brand new partygoer before you have a chance to run
“hey.” big white grin, tawny skin, heavy dark eyes. you have to crane your neck to look at his face.
the music is almost too loud for you to catch bodhi’s next infuriating line. “told ya she was cute, johnny. she’s all yours.”
you basically freak out on him, shove his shoulder and start yelling and cursing and drawing attention.
you’ve spent years taking care of him, not asking for a cent from his party fund, putting up with his bullshit, and you’re so fucking tired of him making fun of you just because you’re not a skinny surfing meat head. after you rip him a new asshole, you storm off.
you could go to your room, but that would mean shouldering through a crowd, so you opt for a long walk on the pier instead.
as you’re watching the dark ocean waves crash and spray against support beams, you feel a hand on your shoulder. you turn around, ready to fight, but it’s just bodhi’s new friend.
lowering your fist and replacing it with a scowl, you turn back around to face the open sea and ignore mr. tall dark and handsome.
“hey.” he leans on the railing beside you, accidentally scrapes his forearm on a barnacle and starts bleeding. “ah, fuck.”
“you’ve never been to a beach town, huh?” his arm is in your hand and you’re using your old tshirt to wipe the trickling red from his skin.
he smiles at you, boyishly, gives this coy bat of thick lashes that makes your tummy uneasy. you hope he doesn’t notice the abrupt way you let his arm flop. little tickly crabs crawl over your skin as you turn away.
“got a bandaid?”
“you’ll live.”
“ouch. hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot. i’m johnny, just moved here.”
“hullo, johnny just moved here, i’m not interested in company.”
he seems way too amused by your venom, lets loose a little chuckle. “you’re not very friendly, are you?”
“not to bodhi’s cult, no.”
“man, what is your problem?” he shakes his head and kicks dried salt. “you have the hots for me or something?”
stiffened shoulders, shrinking posture, eyes unable to hold his own. it’s all the info he needs. he gets a big grin that makes you want to jump right off the pier and let the angry water swallow you up.
“oh, yeah?” he tugs his bottom lip into the toothy smile, nudges your shoulder. “listen, just cuz i’m pretty doesn’t mean i’m a dickwad.”
“yeah, it does.” you think you’re insulting him, but really what you’ve just done is confirmed that you do think he’s pretty - the quiet, thick quiver in your voice doesn’t help your case.
“thanks, sweetheart.”
now you have a better idea - push him off the pier. instead, you walk away.
“oh, she’s adorable.”
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aquavierra · 2 years
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I am convinced that these movies had gay subtext intentionally embedded to it:
Sherlock Holmes (RDJ - Jude Law)
The Man from U.N.C.L.E
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - Bogus
Point Break
James Bond (Spectre & No Time to Die)
Captain America: Winter Soldier + CW
Kingsman (1 & 2)
X-Men franchise
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lj-todd · 4 years
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This has been sitting in my WIP folder for...well...a long, long while now but I finally actually found the motivation to finish it! Also, there’s not nearly enough Bodhi/Johnny stuff out there so I’m probably gonna write quite a few more fics for this pairing/fandom.
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reivenesque · 6 years
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Bodhi and Johnny Utah, Point Break 2015
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hhuta · 3 years
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now lets be real why did they call the 2015 point break that. its literally not the same movie at all.
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#2015 bodhi is so lucky hes hot bc oh my god ...... hes too annoying with his fake deep stufflkdjklaslkl#and plot aside the whole eight thing aside that was just. unnecessary <3; johnny x bodhis relationship is very different too...#did 2015 johnny even hate bodhi a lil. just a lil. too much love in 2015kldjalsjdklas from the start they both knew who they really were too#thats why its just love lmao dont get me wrong its not a bad thing its just weird to me that they !!! changed so much !!!#its not a remake its an AU bestie !!!!!!!!#regardless i love both movies its a win win like i said cant wait for the other remake they eventually make#i was gonna complain about the different endings too but nvm they have their own merits#BIG SPOILERS AHEAD ..#its crazy how had johnny not showed up during the first wave thing in ? paris? bodhi might have not died... i mean i guess. but u know.#but thats the thing sEE BODHI. IS TAKING THE ROLE EVERY FEMALE CHARACTER USUALLY GETS. HE DIED SO JOHNNY COULD REALISE /A THING/#BYE THEY SPIDERMANED ME DLKAJSDLKASLKJASK#by 'a thing' i mean that its no ones fault that he died he chose his own path yada yada yada. but. thats repetitive bestie he didnt have to#die for this... we already bEEN THRU THIS TWICE BEFORE IN THE MOVIE. anyway ok fine i cant escape i prefer the original ending .#ITS HARD NOT TO COMPARE... I WAS PERFECTLY OKAY BEFORE WATCHING THE ORIGINAL LMAO#its fine. its fine. idek where i was going anymore iM JUST SAD BODHI DIES I GUESS!!!!!!! FUCK UR PATH Why didnt johnny save him love lOSES#ESPECIALLY IN THE 2015 VERSION. I... I KNOOWWW THEY LITERALLY SAY THERES NO SUCH THING AS 'OWEING SOMEONE SMTH' BUT.#IDC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i respect the message of the movie but i hate it.#ill get over this one day maybe.
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brokensoulmates2000 · 2 years
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Someday I’ll write about the parallels between Berserk and Point Break. From now, all I have to say Johnny Utah!Guts x Bodhi!Griffith is the AU I need this afternoon.
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deanwasalwaysbi · 3 years
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(Per the Lost Boys post bc this got too long) I'm sure there's a certain amount of confirmation bias when saying that a lot of movies Dean references are queer and I'm also curious about how it actually breaks down. But Dean makes so many pop culture references that I don't have the energy to try and do that during my rewatch lol. However I think also there are movies that he references that aren't not-straight (for lack of a better term) but the way they are referenced feels decidedly not-straight. Like your post about Porky's II is a great example of that! Another that comes to mind is him talking about Black Swan which was insane! The same episode with the cursed ballet slippers! The movie is about ego vs id and hidden desires! Dark vs light! Innocence vs ambition! "Purity" vs sexuality! Claiming he watched it for the actress was just ?? especially when coupled with the flipping ballet slippers. (Also it's super not a "chick flick" and it's not a macho movie either but like... the director also did Requiem for a Dream and Mother. Arronofsky is also.... yeah.) I still cannot get over the Black Swan reference given the themes of the movie/Swan Lake and at that point in the show I think the queercoding of Dean has become much more intentional by some of the writers. I have so many Thoughts about that episode.
See also: "Swayze gets a pass." Does that mean any Swayze movie? Has Dean watched Point Break? Did they watch it at one of their movie nights? If so, did Cas ask him why Johnny would shoot at the sky after letting Bodhi get away during the chase? What other Swayze movies has Dean watched?
I have so many questions about which other movies they watched together. Black Swan isn't exactly "art house" but it's also not Terminator or Star Wars. The fact that he has canonically watched movies ranging from high brow-ish psychological horror to popcorn flicks just makes him feel so Real which feeds even more into the idea that the character contains multitudes and isn't just a super macho one dimensional character which then reinforces the queercoding and characterization of him as a repressed/closeted bisexual man. Which is a completely different massive essay that other people have written better but I'm late to the party here and just rambling at this point.
Oh hello I love you. 
YES! - when he references a movie like star wars or the shining it’s usually one off lines that are so widely quoted that people who have never seen the movies know them.  Meanwhile the Porky’s II reference all the way back in season 4 was about Dean’s secret desire to live out the plot of a movie.  I love your breakdown on black swan, I think that one’s lost somewhere in my draft and now I can just defer to you on it.
Amazingly, someone has already done half the work of cataloguing Dean’s media references, but the catalogue is  ... extensive.   Imagine, Dean calls Sam the nerd in the family. http://supernaturalwiki.com/Dean%27s_Movie_%26_TV_references
I know I need to make a post about confirmation bias and what it is at some point, but I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think there was something intentional here, particularly in later seasons. 
Dean References Discussed in Ask: Lost Boys post (x) , Porky's II post (x) , #Spn Film Studies ,
some additional SPN Homage: Saturday Night Fever (x) , Ben Hur (x) , Musicals from Heroes Journey (x)
Next Time on SPN Film Studies: Reservoir Dogs and Castiel's Love Confession in Stuck in the Middle
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iworshipkeanureeves · 4 years
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Tickles In The Sand
Johnny Utah x Reader
Summary: Reader tickles the truth out of Utah
Warnings: none
Words: 1.3K
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Floating with your legs half submerged underwater, you were looking at the horizon anticipating another great wave. “One more and that’s it, okay? I’m freezing.” You turned to Johnny, who was right beside you resting on his board, giving you a thumbs-up. His dark hair was wet-sticking to his skin, funnily framing his face, and he had the widest grin, forcing you to smile back at him.
“Utah!!” You both turned around to see Bodhi, raising his hand and greeting you. “That was some skill you showed yesterday!” he shouted with his friends nodding in agreement. “Everyone’s impressed!”
The second you realized Johnny had told you he was working the previous night, your lips quivered and a grunt of disappointment escaped your lungs. “What is he talking about?” You turned back to Johnny arching your brow.
“No idea,” he gave you an innocent smile, and with his board pressed to his belly, he was beginning to rapidly paddle away. “Let’s catch this wave, then we can talk.”
You were about to ask him again, but as Johnny saw your pouting face, he kept getting farther away. Part of you wanted to go and catch him, but you didn’t want to waste a great wave, your last one for today.
---
You and Johnny were both exhausted reaching the shore, but more than anything, you were angry and upset with him keeping things away from you.
Sticking your board in the sand, you noticed that Johnny wasn’t right behind you anymore, and you turned around looking for him. Not surprisingly, he was talking to Bodhi again... Sometimes it seemed that Johnny was more interested in him, than he was into you. ‘It’s just for the case’ he would always assure.
Trying your best to stay calm, you were working on your wetsuit, reminding yourself how much you trusted Johnny and thinking what that cocky bastard could have been doing yesterday.
“Sorry for the delay, babe.” He came back with a smack on your ass, resting his board next to yours. You were mad as hell, but your plan was to play it cool, and get him when he wasn’t expecting that.
“You didn’t seem too sorry flirting with your new boyfriend back there, babe,” you smiled mockingly, letting your hair go. Slowly, you walked around to stand behind his shoulders, whispering to his ear. “I bet you two shared some really nice time yesterday…”
“Wow, so funny,” Johnny turned his head to the side, trying to show you his unimpressed face.
“About yesterday…” You gripped his zipper lace. “You said you had to stay at the office, paperwork and stuff…” Slowly you were pulling it down, exposing his damp skin little by little, running your thumb along his spine.
“Mhm, that’s right,” Johnny’s voice gave away that he knew you weren’t buying it, but he was probably still hoping to get away.
“So what? Is Bodhi like your new colleague or something?” You got back closer to his ear, one hand pulling the zipper further, another sliding under the fabric and uncovering his shoulder blade. He laughed at your words, but no other lie was thrown your way, Johnny knew you had caught him, yet he was unwilling to explain. “Seriously, tell me. This is your last chance,” your voice got stricter, as you were pulling his hands out of the suit, leaving him standing covered just below the waist.
“Or what?” Johnny teased, and it was the final thread completely unleashing you. You were gently rubbing his shoulders, melting him under your touch, until Utah became unaware of your fingertips swiftly traveling to his ribs. Pinching slightly, you made him shriek and jump in his place, as you kept on running your digits along his ridges.
“What was that for?” He squeezed his elbows to his sides, turning around to face you, curling his lips.
“Oh, don’t play stupid, Johnny.” You attacked him again, pushing your hands through his muscular arms, willing to tickle him once more. Johnny was slowly walking backwards, trying to escape your attack, but something had caught his feet and he fell, dragging you together down to the sand.
You ended up on top of him, with his torso perfectly exposed for another wave of playful tickles, which seemed to be getting unbearable for him. You knew Johnny was strong enough to push you away, but he didn’t fight you, all he did was trying to cover himself. It was until you got really feisty with your fingertips, and he had no choice but raise his hips, shaking you off of his waist.
From all the movement his suit got even lower, opening an easy access to his hips, one of his most ticklish places. With a feathery touch, you ran your fingers along his hipbone, making him almost immediately come clean. “Ok, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I was with him. Just please stop!” he laughed and screamed.
“And you didn’t tell me because…?” you placed your palm on his belly, staring with a threatening look. Johnny  knew you were ready to resume any second.
“Just don’t be mad, okay?” He put his hand onto yours, trying to keep it steady in place, in case you came up with any new maneuvers.
“I’m already mad,” you faked a frown, trying to correspond with your words. Honestly, you were holding back the giggles, surprised by how easily you managed to turn Johnny into a squealing mess.
“We went surfing…” he admitted silently, dragging your stacked hands up to his chest, as he was raising another one, tucking your wet, sand crumbled hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry.”
“During the storm? Are you insane?” All the giggles disappeared from your mind, and you were both, angry and concerned. The frown was real now. “You said you wouldn’t…” a sigh left your throat, as you were about to get up leaving him alone on the sand. But his hands caught your hips, pushing you back down, and you ended up back on your side, leaning on your elbow next to him.
“Johnny, you know how much I worry…” You sighed again looking at him, his eyes begging for forgiveness. You knew exactly why he did that, after all, you were a surfer yourself, except you were smart enough to not risk it too much.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” Johnny smiled, brushing the sand off of your cheek. You could see he was honestly sorry, he was just really bad at expressing that.
“No, you really are an idiot! It’s not how it works, dummy…” No matter how much you wanted to hate him, his smile would always soften your heart, making you forgive all of his foolishness. “What if something had happened to you?”
“But it didn’t,” he cut you off. “And I won’t do it again, I’m really sorry.” He placed a small peck to your cheek, pulling away to look you in the eye, searching for any sign of forgiveness.
“And you have no idea how scared I was,” Johnny chuckled. “My legs were shaking, I could barely stand up on my board.”
“Good, so it was a lesson learned,” you snugged into his lips, trailing kisses down his jaw. As you were reaching further, your frisky spirit kicked back in, and you exhaled right into the crook of his neck, making him shrug and yelp. It didn’t stop you from going down to his chest, then lowering to his torso and nibbling on his skin along the way.
“Babe, I told you everything, I apologize, stop!” Johnny was trying to push you away, as you were blowing air into his belly button, making him flex his abdomen tight. 
“Investigation is over, time for your punishment!” You smirked, looking at Johnny with your fiery eyes, pressing his wrists to the sand.
Tag-list: @keandrews​ @rdjloverxxx​ @danceoftwowolves​ @greenmanalishi​​ @lilywoood​​
>Masterlist<
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saigang · 3 years
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ships?
Bold = Love the most
Heavy Rain:
Norman Jayden x Ethan Mars
Norman Jayden x Carter Blake
Norman Jayden x Madison Paige
Detroit Become Human:
Gavin Reed x Nines
Connor x Nines
Connor x Hank Anderson
SpongeBob SquarePants:
SpongeBob x Squidward
Sandy x Karen
Left 4 Dead:
Ellis x Nick
Payday 2:
Sokol x Bodhi
Sokol x Houston
Dallas x Hoxton
Houston x Hoxton
Dallas x Wolf
Jimmy x Wolf
Jacket x Wolf
Jacket x Sokol
Bodhi x Sydney
Reservoir Dogs:
Mr Orange x Mr White
Bully:
Jimmy x Constantinos
Jimmy x Gord
Gord x Duncan
Parker x Bryce
Derby x Bif
Tad x Vance
Lola x Zoe
ObsCure:
Josh x Stan
Point Break:
Bodhi x Johnny Utah
Hardcore Henry:
Jimmy x Henry
Sonic:
Amy x Sonia
Saints Row:
The Boss x Johnny Gat
The Boss x Matt Miller
The Boss x Carlos Mendoza
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tabloidtoc · 3 years
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Star, December 28
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: The Kardashians in ruins 
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Page 1: Fans jumped to conclusions when Taylor Swift who is known to drop hints about her personal life in her music videos posted a teaser shot for her new clip for Willow of herself in a lacy dress and floral headpiece looking very much like a blushing bride -- Taylor and boyfriend Joe Alwyn have been talking weddings and they initially discussed throwing a big bash in Joe’s native England but they’ve reconsidered since holing up in Taylor’s farm outside Nashville so now they’re just going to go ahead and get married in a small romantic ceremony and forgo the church wedding and elaborate reception since they are super private and prefer to do things out of the spotlight 
Page 2: Contents, Heather Rae Young scoped out wedding dresses with Chrishell Stause by her side 
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Page 4: Jennifer Lawrence and Leonardo DiCaprio are heating up the Boston set of their movie Don’t Look Up where their chemistry is off the charts even though both are seriously taken: Jennifer is wed to Cooke Maroney and Leo’s been dating Camila Marrone since 2017 but Jennifer and Leo have always had a flirty rapport whenever they bumped into each other at awards shows and other industry events -- Jennifer’s husband Cooke could be annoyed with all the flirting even if the actors are keeping things professional and as for Camila she finds his connection with Jennifer pretty intimidating 
Page 5: There’s plenty of tension on the set of The Morning Show now that Julianna Margulies has joined Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston on the series -- Jen wasn’t in on the decision to add Julianna to the cast and is miffed she wasn’t consulted and doesn’t understand why Reese insisted bringing Julianna on board and she’s just plain hurt that the new arrival has been getting so chummy with her BFF and Julianna and Reese are whispering behind everybody’s backs and barking orders like they own the place and they’re not even inviting Jen to lunch 
* Olivia Jade Giannulli addressed her part in the $500,000 bribe that ensured her entrance into USC and sent her parents Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli to prison and reactions to her appearance were harsh with a typical commenter calling her smug but she thinks she did well and figures this will be good for her career as a social-media influencer 
* Martha Stewart has been flourishing during lockdown and a new photo shows her looking beyond refreshed leaving some to wonder if she’s doing more than nibbling her new CBD gummies to look so good
Page 6: Kelly Clarkson’s divorce from Brandon Blackstock may be getting ugly but her ex-mother-in-law Reba McEntire is standing by her side even though it can get a little awkward at time but nothing is going to get in the way of Kelly and Reba’s relationship 
* A slew of A-listers are about to be dragged into Johnny Depp’s defamation case against his ex-wife Amber Heard as shocking new court papers allege that Johnny had affairs with a bevvy of his costars including Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightley and Marion Cotillard and must submit all responsive communications with them -- the women are mortified and embarrassed they’re being pulled into Johnny and Amber’s tawdry split while for his part Johnny flipped out when he learned he needed to produce his communications with these women and he’s calling the tactics lowdown and disgusting 
* Star Spots the Stars -- David Beckham, Chrissy Teigen, Carrie Underwood, Gal Gadot, Floyd Mayweather, Nick Offerman, Hilaria Baldwin 
Page 8: Star Shots -- Audrina Patridge and her daughter Kirra out in Beverly Hills, Pete Wentz let his bleached hair down during a tennis game in L.A., Joe Jonas and wife Sophie Turner walking with their daughter in a stroller in L.A. 
Page 10: Steve Martin took his meal to go during a break from filming Only Murders in the Building in Central Park, Josh Duhamel and his son Axl enjoyed a playful romp in the grass, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum celebrated their one-year anniversary in Bora Bora 
Page 11: Diane Keaton jokingly flirted with the men watching on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in Burbank, Sir Michael Palin brought the laughs during his appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show in London 
Page 12: ‘Tis the Season -- Kristen Taekman left a nursery in Encino, a decked out Lil Nas X and Ellen DeGeneres opted for a safe season’s greetings by bumping elbows on the talk show 
Page 13: Brooke Burke was all smiles shooting content for her fitness app in Malibu, Niecy Nash and wife Jessica Betts kicked off their first holiday season as a married couple in plaid pajamas 
Page 14: Kylie Minogue performing on The Jonathan Ross show in London, Irina Shayk out and about with daughter Lea in NYC, Jeremy Renner and Hailee Steinfeld and a canine costar filmed scenes for Hawkeye in NYC
Page 15: Selling Sunset star Christine Quinn showing some major skin during a photoshoot in L.A., Antonio Banderas and journalist Maria Casado posed for photos at a presentation for their new Spanish television series Escena en Blanco y Negro in Malaga, Spain 
Page 16: Beach Babes -- Chantal Jeffries and boyfriend Drew Taggart in Miami, Mark Zuckerberg showed off his gliding skills on his $12,000 eFoil electric surfboard in Hawaii 
Page 17: Chris Pratt used his hoverboard as a weight after hitting the sand with his son, Julia Roberts enjoyed a solo stroll in Hawaii 
Page 18: Normal or Not? Vanilla Ice headlining the drive-in Winterfest concert in West Palm Beach -- normal, Demi Moore wearing big boxing gloves -- not normal, James Franco couldn’t go without his phone during a getaway in Mexico -- not normal 
Page 20: Fashion -- stars look timeless in black -- Sofia Carson, Nicole Richie 
Page 21: Taylor Hill, Vanessa Kirby 
Page 24: Like so many Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are putting their future on hold amid the global health pandemic and Gwen revealed that the two won’t even set a date for their nuptials in order to avoid a COVID situation that would require restrictions -- they have already nailed down a few details like the location which is Blake’s Ten Point Ranch in Oklahoma where he proposed inside a chapel Blake built for Gwen on the 1300-acre property
Page 25: Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox are embroiled in a bitter custody war over their sons Noah and Bodhi and Journey -- Brian responded to Megan’s divorce filing by requesting joint custody and spousal support and he’s in a non-negotiating mood and if she tries to take his kids it’s going to get ugly really fast 
* James Franco is ready to pop the question to girlfriend Isabel Pakzad and he’s been looking at rings -- dating since 2017 the two overcame a difficult time in 2018 after James was accused by multiple women of misconduct -- surviving that scandal and enjoying their time in lockdown has convinced James he’s found The One 
* Kristin Cavallari and comedian Jeff Dye who were first linked in October jetted off to Mexico for a fun getaway with friends where the couple smooched and danced and enjoyed cocktails and had a wonderful time in Cabo but Kristin isn’t looking for anything serious following her divorce from Jay Cutler 
Page 26: Cover Story -- the Kardashian empire crumbles -- with their show leaving the air early next year the Kardashian-Jenner crew could stand to lose it all -- ratings for Keeping Up With the Kardashians reached a new low before they pulled the plug and it’s obvious fans are losing interest and they spend money like it’s going out of fashion 
Page 30: A Spy at the Palace -- after a staff member steals more than $200,000 worth of her personal keepsakes Queen Elizabeth no longer feels safe in her home 
Page 33: Gone Too Soon -- a look back at the celebrities we lost in 2020 and the legacies they leave behind -- Naya Rivera, Kelly Preston, Regis Philbin 
Page 34: Kobe Bryant, Chadwick Boseman, Alex Trebek 
Page 40: Beauty -- pretty pout -- sparkly, shiny and matte lipsticks to rock this New Year’s Eve -- Rihanna 
Page 42: Entertainment 
Page 48: Parting Shot -- Vanessa Hudgens as host of the first MTV Movie & TV Awards: Greatest of All Time 
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twistnet · 4 years
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fandom + character list
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this is the current list of characters i write for.  all of the characters, to include the poly-pairings are strictly for reader inserts — note ; if a character is not listed below, i do not write for them anymore
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✰ — ARCANE
characters ; vi, jinx, viktor, jayce talis, caitlyn kiramman, ekko, vander, silco, sevika
poly-pairings ; vi x sevika, vi x caitlyn, vander x silco, silco x sevika, jayce x viktor
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✰ — CSI MIAMI
characters ; tim speedle, eric delko, calleigh duquesne
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✰ — CALL OF DUTY
characters ; john price, simon ‘ghost’ riley, johnny ‘soap’ mactavish, kyle ‘gaz’ garrick, könig, valeria garza
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✰ — DAZED & CONFUSED
characters ; randall ‘pink’ floyd, jodi kramer, kevin pickford, benny o’donnell
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✰ — MARVEL
daredevil // punisher
characters ; frank castle, billy russo, matt murdock
avengers
characters ; yelena belova, bucky barnes, sam wilson, scott lang, stephen strange, robbie reyes
spider-verse
characters ; miguel o’hara, hobie brown
miscellaneous
characters ; peter parker, druig, sersi, kingo
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✰ — MAYANS MC
characters ; coco cruz, bishop losa, creeper vargas, nestor oceteva, luisa ‘adelita’ espina
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✰ — NARCOS
characters ; javier peña, steve murphy, horacio carrillo
poly-pairings ; javier peña x steve murphy, javier peña x horacio carrillo
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✰ — ONE CHICAGO
chicago fire
characters ; matt casey, kelly severide, leslie shay, sylvie brett, stella kidd, brian ‘otis’ zvonecek, joe cruz christoper herrmann, violet mikami, evan hawkins, greg grainger
poly-pairings ; kelly severide x stella kidd, matt casey x kelly severide, matt casey x sylvie brett, stella kidd x sylvie brett, brian zvonecek x joe cruz
chicago pd
characters ; adam ruzek, kim burgess, kevin atwater, antonio dawson, hailey upton, erin lindsay
poly-pairings ; adam ruzek x kim burgess, kim burgess x hailey upton
chicago med
characters ; will halstead, connor rhodes sarah reese, ava bekker, ethan choi
poly-pairings ; ava bekker x connor rhodes, sarah reese x connor rhodes
crossover
poly-pairings ; matt casey x antonio dawson, antonio dawson x sylvie brett, ava bekker x erin lindsay
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✰ — PRODIGAL SON
characters ; malcolm bright, gil arroyo, dani powell
poly-pairings ; malcolm bright x dani powell
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✰ — RESIDENT EVIL
characters ; jill valentine, clarie redfield, leon kennedy, carlos oliveira
poly-pairings ; leon kennedy x claire redfield, jill valentine x claire redfield, jill valentine x carlos oliveira
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✰ — SONS OF ANARCHY
characters ; chibs telford, tig trager, jax teller, happy lowman
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✰ — STAR WARS
jedi : fallen order
characters ; cal kestis, trilla sunduri, merrin
poly-pairings ; trilla sundari x cal kestis
bad batch // clone wars
characters ; anakin skywalker, obi wan kenobi, padme amidala, crosshair, wrecker, tech, echo, captain rex
andor // rogue one
characters ; cassian andor, jyn erso, bodhi rook, bix caleen
the mandalorian // book of boba fett
characters ; din djarin, boba fett, fennec shand, cobb vanth, luke skywalker, ahsoka tano
poly-pairings ; fennec shand x boba fett, din djarin x boba fett , cobb vanth x din djarin, luke skywalker x din djarin
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✰ — STRANGER THINGS
characters ; robin buckley, steve harrington, nancy wheeler, jonathan byers, alexei smirnoff, joyce byers, jim hopper, karen wheeler, eddie munson, dmitri ‘enzo’ antonov, chrissy cunningham, peter ballard, argyle
poly-pairings ; steve harrington x nancy wheeler, nancy wheeler x jonathan byers, nancy wheeler x robin buckley, steve harrington x eddie munson, eddie munson x chrissy cunningham, dmitri ‘enzo’ antonov x jim hopper
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✰ — SWAT
characters ; dominique luca, chris alonso, hondo harrelson, deacon kay, victor tan, jim street, donovan rocker, erika rogers, nora fowler, jessica cortez, robert hicks
poly-pairings ; chris alonso x jim street, hondo harrelson x jessica cortez, jim street x victor tan
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✰ — TOP GUN
characters ; natasha ‘phoenix’ trace, robert ‘bob’ floyd, reuben ‘payback’ fitch, mickey ‘fanboy’ garcia, jake ‘hangman’ seresin, bradley ‘rooster’ bradshaw, javy ‘coyote’ machado, beau ‘cyclone’ simpson, pete ‘maverick’ mitchell, tom ‘iceman’ kazansky, ron ‘slider’ kerner, nick ‘goose’ bradshaw, rick ‘hollywood’ neven, leonard ‘wolfman’ wolfe, charles ‘chipper’ piper
poly-pairings ; natasha trace x jake seresin, natasha trace x robert floyd, jake seresin x bradley bradshaw, pete mitchell x tom kazansky, tom kazansky x ron kerner, rick neven x leonard wolfe
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✰ THE LAST OF US.
characters ; ellie williams, joel miller, tess servopoulos, tommy miller, abby anderson, dina
poly-pairings ; ellie williams x dina
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✰ — UNCHARTED
characters ; nathan drake, sam drake, chloe frazer, nadine ross, elena fisher, rafe adler
poly-pairings ; sam drake x chloe frazer, nathan drake x elena fisher, sam drake x rafe adler, chloe fraze x nadine ross
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✰ — 911
characters ; evan ‘buck’ buckley, eddie diaz, bobby nash, howard ‘chimney’ han, henrietta ‘hen’ wilson, ravi panikkar, lou ransone
poly-pairings ; evan buckley x eddie diaz
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120 notes · View notes
aion-rsa · 3 years
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Aliens, Clowns & Geeks Review: Sci-Fi Comedy Aims Low And Scores High
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No one sets out to make a cult movie. Most filmmakers aspire to commercial heights even if they only have the budgets for a B-movie. They see films like Blair Witch realign box office accounting and apply all kinds of quantum physics to mimic the exponential multiplication. Very few achieve it, and the ones which do usually do it by accident, and certainly not with serious intent. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is not afraid to be ridiculous. It joins the ranks as such brave films as Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, and Frankenhooker.
It is also so much more than these films, dripping with artistry, and yet considerably less, with masturbating aliens, pussy ping pong, and sphincter-pinching obelisks. Richard Elfman’s sci-fi comedy has an abundance of experimental fun and a happily reckless disregard for taste. It owes as much to Frank Zappa as it does to Frank Capra, and can in some ways be seen as a screwball comedy take on the 1955 film noir classic Kiss Me Deadly. For a silly film, Aliens, Clowns & Geeks summons serious plot twists. It captures the casual surrealism of the Marx Brothers in hyper-speed.
Though it’s not on the level as Forbidden Zone, how could it be? Elfman’s 1980 cult classic ranks way past closing time on the clock of midnight movies. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is still completely original. Unlike other films where low budget hobbles creativity, this uses a lack of funds to its advantage. In some ways this is like Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks!, except done on one-thousandth of the budget and with 1/100th of the stars. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks marks the final feature film role for the late Verne Troyer (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Goldmember, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone). His Clown Emperor Beezel-Chugg is a memorable turn. Narcissistic, lethal, and commanding, he is the Emperor of the Nine Planet Federation, and still gets hauled in for Illegal dwarf tossing.
The little clown who gets tossed around is played by Nic Novicki, but don’t feel too bad for him, he takes dirty pictures of nuns in porta-potties in his spare time. George Wendt plays a priest who condemns him to eternal damnation for it. French Stewart (Stargate, 3rd Rock from the Sun) gets the Fickle Finger of Fate Award for being able to maintain an Arte Johnson impression throughout a whole film as the German scientist Professor von Scheisenberg.
Mimicry is only one extra talent the actors bring into their roles. Rebecca Forsythe contorts her voice and face excruciatingly and exquisitely as Swedish lab assistant Helga. She’s studied quantum, subquantum and super-quantum dynamics, and delivers one of the greatest pickup lines in cinema history: “you would be surprised at how incorrect the calculations of many rocket scientists can be.” Her body proves to be equally supple whether during head-banging sex or in one-on-one martial arts combat.
No one quite makes the faces or shrieks the screams quite like Bodhi Elfman, who plays the lead, a jaded actor named Eddy Pine. Bohdi, the actor playing the actor, is a cartoon character masquerading as a person. His cynical Steve Buscemi-esque delivery grounds him even as the only missed opportunity in the film is a Looney Tunes sight gag where hens lay so many eggs they rise to the roof of Porky Pig’s barn. 
Happily, the camera turns away when the obelisk is introduced to the film. Whether it is just a worthless novelty or the key to the universe, Eddy’s anus is “the chosen portal.” The Chinese military wants the obelisk, there’s an intergalactic battle between alien clowns and green Martians over it, and Dr. von Scheisenberg wants to melt it down for clean energy. About a foot long, and looking like the Washington Monument with squiggly sub-particle lettering, it is also known as the jamtoid key, and is worth more than a three-picture deal, but “money won’t mean nothing if the world explodes.”
Elfman, who also directed Shrunken Heads, and Modern Vampires, has a background in theater, and uses troupe mentality by casting actors in multiple roles. Anastasia Elfman brings the fire of a true believer to five characters. Helga’s sister Inga is played by Angeline-Rose Troy, who also plays Eddy’s junkie-whore mother. The noises she makes in one particular chase scene is so alien and unexpected, it brings the whole movie to another level. Steve Agee plays Eddy’s recently transitioned Burlesque dancer and bar-owning sister Jumbo, as well as the chicken-suit wearing Eddy Pine. Richard Elfman plays the clown Da-Beep. Martin Klebba is an angry clown captain.
The final character is the original soundtrack, which upstages the action in the best of ways. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks could be called a musical, but not in the same way The Rocky Horror Picture Show is, even if there is gender fluidity flowing through it. For the film, Elfman reunited with the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo, who starred in Forbidden Zone. The score was written by Danny Elfman and Ego Plum. Danny Elfman wrote the theme song to The Simpsons, the music to Nightmare Before Christmas, and did the singing voice of Jack Skellington. Plum is best known for the noises he made for SpongeBob SquarePants and The Ghastly Love of Johnny X, but also plays in the band Mambo Demonico. Consisting of 75 minutes in a ninety-minute movie, the music makes the film unique. The diverse mix of genres makes the movie feel like live performance.
Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is laid out in the three-act story structure of classic comedies. It is zany, evoking the feel that logic has been usurped by the most unreasonable intrusions. The film opens on the road. The first victim is a large biker clown who is mind controlled to be some kind of monosyllabic Terminator-style obelisk retrieval machine. Eddy is taking his sorrows for a swim in the deep end of a dive bar. His network series, “Cry Me Dry,” was cancelled a day before it was set to air. Their first encounter is inadvertently suspenseful, as the clueless Eddie chalks up a seemingly random request to another day in Hollywood. 
The movie then takes on a science fiction turn while keeping to an LA Noir sensibility, albeit with frenetic sexcapades (“May you procreate and spread your clown seed wide”), campy caricatures, vampy vehicular battles, and trampy throughlines. Masturbating aliens remotely manipulate blond femme fatales with X-box controllers, making the conquest of earth look like a video game. This highlights the depersonalization of battle, intergalactic or terrestrial. This very human alienation is further accentuated every time the green aliens have to get approval from corporate. There are impossibly surreal scenarios, like a ménage à trois scene where Eddy’s on the bottom and the POV shows the two girls on top. The scene ends in a nuclear explosion, topping the fireworks display of the first climax of Deep Throat. There is a head exploding scene which is more over-the-top than Scanners.
As comedy, each of the set ups have great payoffs, and the running gags never trip up, even if Eddy slips into Shakespearean soliloquies before exiting, stage left. Elfman mocks Hollywood itself, pointing out that the Beverly Hills Police Department only takes calls from celebrities while actors kiss ass on Hollywood Boulevard all day. The film even throws in visual sight gags, like a bucket of brains which is kept in a joint compound container labeled “head stuff.” One character is reading a book called “The Strawberry Fields of Heaven by Blossom Elfman.”
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Aliens, Clowns & Geeks makes no apologies. You just have to go with it. Groucho Marx once advised if nothing else is getting a laugh, “drop your pants.” This turns out to be the greatest weapon of the movie. It saves the day as much as it lowers the bar. It is worshipfully irreverent, and politically incorrect. There is no shame nor the slightest consideration given to cancel culture. “Life is complicated, take if from the guy with a dick in a dress,” we are advised in the film. Even insane biker clowns may not be what they seem. Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is silly, goofy, stupidly intelligent, and absolutely what a mad scientist would order.
Aliens, Clowns & Geeks will be opening in a drive-in run, double billed with Forbidden Zone: Director’s Cut. Details will be announced. 
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reivenesque · 6 years
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Point Break 2015
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