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justblades · 1 year

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⌕ AT WITS END, 18+

⟢ CHARACTERS : jing yuan x afab! reader x luocha WC : 2.1k

⟢ WARNINGS : SMUT, MINORS DNI. dubcon, drugging, threesome, anal sex, double penetration, use of sex toys, porn with plot.

⟢ SUMMARY : the xianzhou general and a merchant doctor take notice that you were dr~gged by a suspicious syndicate. they are at your disposal to save you from the grave situation, but it could only be done when the drug's symptoms are quenched.

being luocha's apprentice in the medical field alone takes up most of the space on your plate, especially now that you're assigned to jing yuan to be his personal physician— the jobs just keep on overflowing, too much for the feeble mind to handle.

in actuality, you weren't supposed to be stationed in the xianzhou luofu. it's just that luocha isn't fond of having much spotlight shone upon him that therefore lead to you being referred to be the general's doctor. as soon as you caught wind that you piqued the interest of one of the charioteers of the luofu, you were determined to perform at your best - to be chosen.

and the gods of luck only spat at you when you were employed by the general jing yuan. he never committed any grave sins nor did such heinous things, it was just his way of governing that left a bitter aftertaste in your mouth as soon as you got to know more of jing yuan. you harbor a strong dislike for anyone regardless of their position to be cowering in the shadows when particular problems arise, saying sham excuses like "i am forbidden to take action because of my rank."

seeing the gray headed general opens up old wounds; a scar you thought that has healed a long time ago. as someone who used to be in the bottom of society's hierarchy, it was until then you grew old you started to understand corrupt officials. those who live in their privileged bubbles, enjoying the comfort of their power and own homes.

as meticulous jing yuan is, it was natural for him to not mind your small banter and snarky remarks against the general. the way he reacts is exceptional, he doesn't bother defending his name amidst the comments he's been receiving since day one. jing yuan never loses his composure and pays no heed to trivial matters.

you grit your teeth as you recall those moments, swearing to yourself that you'll br able to crack him and spit in his face that he's a no good leader. mentally cussing him out as childish as it seems, you continue to do your job, which was preparing your equipments and kits containing vast range of medicines.

drawing a sloth sigh in the end, you carefully lift up the objects. pivoting your heel to take a swift turn, suddenly, your eyes lock a glance with the familiar golden hues, those that exude indolence and of mystery. shock rakes your spine and goosebumps break over your skin, making you fall down on your butt as you feel a tug from your upper clothing.

you were too occupied at piercing through the general's soul with your bitter expressions that you didn't notice the matter at hand in present. "to what do i owe you the pleasure?" your words hinted with sarcasm, you end the question with a cozen smile.

much to your surprise, he crouches down to your level and helps you pick up the strewn pieces of gadgets and equipments on the wooden, varnished floorings. you cock a brow at his actions and proceeded to watch him in confusion; but a sudden puff of glacial wind traces your skin, reaching parts of your body from within.

glancing down at what could be the cause, it was a little too late for you to realize your clothes were torn apart, exposing your treasures right in front of the man you hate so much. instinctively grabbing the largest piece of ripped fabric, you immediately cover the last part of your dignity with it, closing your eyes shut to recall what transpired in such a short moment of time exactly.

"your senses are way too off lately." his smoky voice cut off your rowdy train of thoughts meanwhile you spiral further into bewilderment on what he's hinting at. "you've fallen prey for their false marketing. however, worry not. i'll do what i can to take it from here."

your eyelids unexpectedly felt heavy, as if jing yuan's words are making you feel dizzy. you could only ask yourself 'what is he plotting', until the moment his large slender hands support your figure. "i'm certain you're puzzled; but the food you ingested two days ago had long term effects of a particular ingredient - similar to an aphrodisiac. fortunately, its symptoms erupted just now and not while you were on duty."

he drapes your arm on his shoulders and snakes his hand around your waist. jing yuan carefully lifts your body and leads you to a particular vicinity. you hoped to see where he was taking you at least, but your vision betrays you as you fall into a deep sleep.

you peel your eyes open to well-lit ceilings, etched with luofu's motifs. you scan your surroundings amidst the lethargic feeling weighing your body down, only to see the despised general welcome your vision once again. "unfortunately, there is only one way to rid you from its symptoms." you part your lips open, but your throat feels dry - no words follow suit of what you wanted to verbalize.

"this is a grave situation but i need to have your consent."

another static voice erupts in the vicinity, seemingly coming from a gadget jing yuan had in hand. "general, we're running out of time already." his brows knit in exchange, and mumble few words right after. "doctor, forgive me."

your body jolts awake from the intrusion you felt from your lower region, only to see a makeshift of lewd toys handled by the grizzle haired. as much as you wanted to protest, it all just started to make sense, as usual, a late epiphany after series of events unraveling. it was the ingredient preventing you from speaking.

he pumps the object in and out of your cunt at such an abrupt pace, catching you off guard with every thrust. pro tem, you grip the sheets of the clinic's bed, holding on for dear life as if you were about to die from immense pleasure. panting hard, jing yuan doesn't halt, he only quickens his movements, a sole goal occupying his mind.

the gods really frowned upon you, for the guy you harbor such hate is now having you softly mewl because of a predicament. you were uncertain of what and who should take the blame— as expected, no one is to be blamed but you. if only you weren't craving that particular food that has been circulating in the ship for quite a while, you wouldn't have ended in such position.

being before him bare, fragile fuels nothing but your fury; but your body language says otherwise. your toes curl as you could feel the toy send virations in your pussy, your g-spot making friction against its surface sends your mind afloat the abode of sanity.

your song of moans was interrupted when another figure makes his entrance this time. the tall carved wooden doors swing open, revealing a blonde male who was a little too recognizable for your eyes carrying his iconic, gigantic coffin. "general, i'm afraid that won't do."

with a short span of time, the two comes in an agreement, shifting of positions follow suit. you're apparently underneath the merchant while held up by the mentioned general, his dominant hand tightly clasped on the remaining scrap of fabric wrapped around your hips.

everything happened in a flash and a foreign sensation makes you wince. your two holes were being prepared for further accommodation of the two males' dicks, using up half a bottle of a lubricant to make sure everything will sail smoothly. a nod of approval is all that it took for your entrances to be prodded by large girthy cocks in unison as you grant them such abashed moans.

jing yuan controls your pelvis with his mere one hand, discering every detail of your body language to see if he's making progress of easing the mysterious ingredient's effects. his aureate hues fixate only at you, his usual carefree demeanor and a lively smile replaced with pursed lips; followed by a crease forming in between his eyebrows.

luocha was the same, even though you were far too tantalizing for a man's eyes, they had to focus at the matter in hand. his flaxen irises examine evey nook and cranny of your body, scrutinizing every beads of sweat trickling down your skin as mere indicators of the symptoms. the unfamiliar feeling welling from both sides of your walls seep in to your system— whilst the two males exert the best of their efforts to pleasure your yearning body.

the blonde head's breathing becomes ragged in rhythm, each of his pants deepen in each thrust. after all, he's not someone sexually active, nor someone who performs hard labor at the daily; it was anticipated for his stamina to thin out. however, the situation doesn't seem to improve, not one bit. it was then jing yuan starts to change his tempo, he slows down as he pulls out, and picks up the pace once he rams in.

jing yuan's flow grants him mewls slipping from your lips, his long, deep back strokes seem to do the job perfectly from how you were reacting. gushing noises blends with the squelching sounds from the sounds of two dicks pleasuring the both of your entrances at the same time. a warm stream of fluid spills into luocha's clothes, the white fabric darkens into several splotches.

as embarrassing as it was, they heeded no mind. if anything, it's a proof that their method is working - reinforcing their resolve to quench your lustful feelings. luocha's gloved hands cup your tits bouncing up and down, nestling your perked up nipples in between his fingertips. he attempts to catch his own breaths, exerting more force into his thrusts deep into your pussy.

he rocks his hips upwards and your walls coil around him from the tip down to his last inch. you could no longer stifle your moans, you were way past caring for your pride— jing yuan, as always to your rescue, his calloused hand presses your cheeks, making you close your mouth forcibly. even though your chin was smeared of your drools already, at least there wasn't a lot, looking at the bright side.

the grey head general gently holds your dampened face, making you face him. from a second, you catch a glimpse of his expression; one that can be practically assumed not seen by anybody. his brows tightly knitted, luminous golden eyes locking a short glance with yours that were clouded of ecstasy. a guttural moan bubbles from his throat, along with luocha's deep mewls of satisfaction rushing to his cock inside your velvet walls.

"y-you're so tight." jing yuan utters under his breath as he continues to piston into your asshole. it was a new occurrence to see him stammer for he always addresses everyone with exemplary choice of words and smooth dealings. getting to see the general like this from what your body had to offer felt intimate— but luocha's actions catches you by surprise more.

he nibbles on the soft plush of your right breast, the left one being toyed with rather harshly. the general accidentally lets go of your face and your vision was brought back to seeing luocha's guise once again. the doctor looks up to meet your tantalizing gaze, whereas there he felt the two of you shared a mutual understanding. you crash your lips into his, your wet cavern being invaded by his warm tongue. it was a deep, sloppy kiss, you swear you could feel a hint of fuming jealousy behind you.

even so, your pleasure - your life comes first before trivial matters. the general lets it pass, and there a furor of release brews from the three of your bodies, all in sync. with one last deep thrust from jing yuan's and luocha's throbbing dicks; the life threatening situation finally rests at peace.

after everything that transpired, the general greets you with his usual blithe smile, accompanied by the golden gleam of his irises and a kiss of an angel just below his right eye. you had to soften and warm up to him everytime you remember your life is indebted to him.

although you couldn't lie, a thought crosses your mind, "perhaps jing yuan planned all of this." a part of you agrees as he knows you wouldn't cozy to your employer unless put in a dire situation and another part doesn't since it believes he's a kind soul deep inside. you also started to realize the general's nature, his governance and how he managed to keep the xianzhou's peace for a long time.

admittedly, it was your shortcoming. you knew deep down you were better than what you showed him - and so you strived to improve and understand at the end of the day. as for the blonde doctor, luocha, he pretends it never happened. after all, the two of you share a past bond forbidden to speak of in the present time.

all's well that ends well.

my masterlist !

#jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan smut #luocha #luocha x reader #luocha smut #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail smut #hsr x reader

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malewgtfstories · 7 months

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Growing bigger

Julian always had the thirst the be the biggest in his school. He wanted to be the manliest in the school he wished to be a big muscle bear. Unfortunately, he had lost the gene lottery and was nothing but a frail nerd nothing to what he aspired to be.

After a long day of school, he arrived home and had nothing to do but go to the gym. I mean he had to start somewhere, right? When he walked in, he felt a gust of air that sent a shiver down his spine. He tried to make his way through the gym when he was stopped by the man he aspired to be.

"Where you off to" asked the stranger. "Umm I don't know I'm trying to be the biggest at my school" replied Julian enthusiastically. "Really what a goal you have." "I just don't know where to start." "You know what? I just so happen to be someone who is experimenting on a new drug called 'porker'" What a funny name thought Julian. "It's still in the experimental phase but I promise you that it works like a charm. I mean look at me how do you think I got to look this smoking hot? I'll let you have some since I have been in your position." "Wow, you would do that for me?" "Yes, little buddy." The stranger gave Julian the pill. Whilst the transaction was happening happened the pill fell on the floor. Julian picked it up and when he looked back the man just disappeared.

Julian got home with the hope the pill would work. He grabbed a bottle of water and guzzled it down. He felt nothing at first and thought to himself "Maybe this was a scam". Little did he know it was going to work. As he slipped into his seat to do homework. While doing them he started to feel an itch all over his body. He thought maybe he got bitten by a mosquito. After a few seconds, he felt like his skin was punctured with a million tiny needles as thick locks of hair shrouded all over his body. He was in shock as he thought the man was a sham. The next step was his "muscle" his body quickly gained muscle mass that filled in his weak frame. Slowly but surely, he was buffer than he ever was. He was pleased with this transformation and thought it would end there but he was wrong. He began to grow from all directions. He grew 5 inches in height, but he also grew fat. Thick layers of fat covered his once-toned body. All of the buttons on his pajamas popped leaving his bulge of fat on in free air. He soon became his worst nightmare the biggest bear in school.

He ran to the gym where he found the stranger. He yelled at him in anger and wanted to be changed back to his former self. "Little Julian, you told me you wanted to be the biggest at your school. Did I not do so?" "What do you mean? I just want to go back I hate this. Please turn me back to who I was". "There is no way to turn you back. Next time careful with what you wish for" as the stranger disappeared in thin air. The realization hit Julian as he knew there was no going back. Julian felt an immense pain in his stomach. All he wanted to do now was to eat. He quickly ordered whatever he could. He became accustomed to his new life. All memories of his former frail smart self were gone. His only dream now was to grow bigger.

#permanent tf #thin to chunky #bearification #male weight gain stories #fat gain tf #weight gain story #male transformation

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fleurmionefridays · 3 months

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Fleurmione Fridays: January 2024 Soulmates / Veela Mates

A quarterly rec list curated by the 18+ fleurmione discord server. Inspired by @hpsaffics #wlw wednesday.

All 29 fics under the cut are complete and listed longest to shortest!

Second Chances by @kamaro0917. [E | 169k]

Everything changed in the blink of an eye. Harry Potter was dead and the war was lost. The remaining members of the Order of the Phoenix go into hiding and Voldemort’s rise to power is complete. In a twist of fate, Hermione finds a Time Turner and makes plans to fix the mistakes of the past. Little does she know, she’s not the only one making the time jump.

Tender is the Night by @lipzlipzlipz. [M | 151k]

In a bid to keep from breaking one person’s heart, Fleur does something drastic which prevents her from recognizing Hermione as her mate, but it doesn’t prevent the love that grows anyway. A night of passion leads to heartbreak and so much more, putting two brokenhearted women on separate paths that lead right back to each other.

Fleur De Mon Coeur by SkyKnight07. [M | 141.5k]

Goblet of Fire but in a different year. Fleur Delacour comes to Hogwarts to take part in the Triwizard Tournament not realising that her life is going to change drastically, by the simple presence of Hogwarts' All-Time Smartest Witch, Hermione Granger, who she finds to be her lifelong mate.

Golden Haze by @anamatics. [M | 140k]

There is a golden haze that comes over a Veela's vision when they are upset or angry or in love. After the fall of Voldemort, Fleur takes a position at Hogwarts and finds herself moving forward rather than going backwards for the first time in her life.

One Step at a Time by hphglover. [M | 118k]

Fleur's life is a sham. She comes to Hermione for help with something important and Hermione accepts to lend a hand. Throughout their journey, many things will change and they will find out what true love really is.

What You Don't Know by @zerodawn22. [M | 108k]

Everyone has a weird gap in their knowledge. Unfortunately for her, Hermione's coincides with a mistake that could have huge consequences. She's known as the Brightest Witch of Her Age, but there are some things she has just never come across. Try explaining that to an enraged Veela... Fleurmione. Femslash. Post-War.

Dusk of Summer by @cadenceoftherain. [M | 86.5k]

Dusk of Summer takes place during Hermione's fourth year at Hogwarts, the same year that Fleur Delacour visits the school in hope to compete in the Triwizard Tournament, and the same year they begin their love affair. This is an alternate universe, so possibilities are limitless. I must apologize for the terrible summary, but there's quite a bit more information inside.

Entwined by @orbitalwings. [T | 85k]

After an impossible encounter, two young women find their lives destined to entwine. This is the tale of Hermione Granger and Fleur Delacour, and how they fell in love.

Time Is An Asshole by Psychological_Top. [E | 80k]

Hermione and Fleur haven't seen each other in over ten years. Both having jumped in their careers, they meet unexpectedly in London only to find their past resurfacing. Slow burn Fleurmione.

Always by Caydus. [M | 78k]

A young Hermione Granger meets a beautiful French girl on a family holiday. When this same girl shows up again over a year later, Hermione realises that sometimes there is such a thing as true love.

sometimes you've got to bleed to know by jump_the_gunn. [M | 74k]

Ten years after the battle of Hogwarts the top half of a dead body appears in the office of the British Prime Minister's fireplace, with the bottom half appearing in the office of the French Minister for Magic. Aurors Fleur Delacour and Hermione Granger must work together conducting a cross channel investigation to find the killer. Inspired by The Tunnel TV show.

Aeternum by Noder. [T | 37.5k]

“How long does this last?” Fleur looked Hermione in the eyes, and held her gaze for three agonizing seconds before she deemed to answer her. “Until you give in.” She spoke the words with cruel honesty, letting her angry tears flow down her cheeks and fall into the water at her feet.

I Get Along Without You Very Well by @lipzlipzlipz. [M | 32k]

Don’t get her hopes up. Don’t let anyone in. Don’t risk her heart. These weren’t the only lessons the tournament year taught her, but they were the hardest and Fleur Delacour learned them well. Until a girl with honey-brown eyes made her want to forget every one of them. A sequel to I Only Have Eyes For You

Runes by Cumbersome. [M | 25k]

Soulmate trash. Because I can. And we all want it.

Thread by SaberWolfxvi. [T | 20.5k]

The red thread of fate binds two souls together forever, no matter what the obstacles, no matter what their present is.

Of Blood & Carnations by @rice-and-beans. [E | 18k]

Inspired by Pablo Neruda's Sonnet VII. The war is over. It is a time for healing. The Order has invested in a sort of intensive therapeutic house for our heroes to recuperate. Therapists, therapies, reprieve. Exactly what they need to begin a long road of recovery. So why does Hermione feel worse? Is she going mad? She's hearing voices, and she feels more and more that her body is not her own. She suspects others know more than they are sharing, and she doesn't know who to trust.

Time's Up by volkova21. [T | 17k]

Here's an AU oneshot. Something.. fun? So, another 4th Year rewrite. I wanted to play with the soulmate trope, but most of them have Fleur knowing that Hermione is her mate. This time, well, Hermione will know and not Fleur. I'm reasoning that if wizards were so slow to adopt indoor plumbing, that they may not have timers yet, that the muggleborns are at this point the only ones who have them so... yeah, enjoy some awkward Hermione/Fleur moments.

No Defense For You by Dreiser. [T | 15k]

Its the seventh year at Hogwarts and Hermione discovers she really is quite feminine but oddly, she has no interest in boys, only in the new Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts who has a mysterious connection to her.

Home by SquirrelGay. [T | 12k]

“Fleur” I called again, “What’s happened to you now?”

Let's hurt tonight (If love is pain) by Twot. [M | 9.5k]

When she was younger, Fleur actively searched for her soulmate. She craved for the one that would make her heart beat wild, but her soul feel calm. Her understanding of how sick the concept of soulmates was started with Gabrielle. The blonde avoided the Gryffindor like a boggart the light and the Gryffindor followed her like a niffler the gold. Hermione was determined to fight for a chance with her soulmate Soulmate au where you can feel your soulmate's pain

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Veela Scorned by InsomniacAndBi. [G | 7k]

Apparently, a slight against the mate of a Veela is a slight against the whole flock or so Umbridge finds out So, this is seriously Au. No Voldemort but Umbridge somehow is still at Hogwarts

Lest We () by @soshyyyyy. [T | 6.5k]

Harry always had expelliarmus. Hermione supposed she had something of a specialty too. post war au where the war lasted much longer and the sacrifices made, much bigger.

Not In Love by waltzlikeits1698. [T | 6k]

“This is all hypothetical, right? You don’t actually want me to come with you.” “Of course, totally ‘ypothetical,” Fleur lied, her heartbeat quickening. She paused. “But if you did want to come with me, then that would be okay. Maman is already expecting me to bring someone anyway. And you match the description of the person she is expecting. So…” - Fleur's taking Hermione to the family reunion - as her date. Which is fine, because Fleur's not in love with Hermione and Hermione's not in love with Fleur. At all.

19th September by ALKimC and @midmoonkitsune. [G | 5k]

“They say Soulmates share one special something; that one piece that connects them in a precious way. Cannot be matched. Cannot be broken.” Pge 26, The Veela Tribal vol.3.

Penetration by @hoardlessdragon. [M | 4k]

What happens when Hermione accidentally finds herself in a vampire coven?

The Result of Veela Insecurity by Dranny. [G | 3.5k]

All Harry wanted to do was get some sleep. Doesn't look like it's gonna happen anytime soon

A single word by @mushroom-grey-scale T | 2.5k]

Despite months of living in the same house, there were only a small amount of things Bill could do to calm a veela's temper.

Secret Studying by Originalpuck. [T | 2k]

Fleur knows that not every soulmate relationship goes smoothly, but she had hoped her soulmate would be as thrilled to meet her as she was to meet Hermione.

Lalochezia by MadTrout. [T | <1k]

Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain. Hermione is experiencing the worst pain known to womankind.

#fleurmione #fleur delacour #hermione granger #soulmates #veela mates

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themotherofblood · 1 year

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I would love to request a smutty Daemyra x reader piece where reader is being an irritating brat and they have to settle her down (if you’re comfortable with that!! Pretty please and thank you!)

omg yes!! I can write this one, but just for more context perhaps both daemon and rhaenyra are doing there political work and running dragonstone and reader is just being an attention whore? I hope this satisfies your request

Masterlist

Daemon Targaryen x Reader x Rhaenyra Targaryen

smut, spanking,. Humiliation soft dom! Rhaenyra, mean dom! Daemon. dubcon-ish, clit play. Oral (f) humping pillow

Two week,

Two weeks and four days!

You had woken up alone and gone to bed alone for two weeks, you were a noble lady; you understood the responsibilities that burdened Daemon and Rhaenyra. The spent hours holed up in their study or by the painted table.

You understood and you waited.

What you did not understand is how little attention they were paying to you, first, it was the small things, not being available to breakfast together or take you along dragon-riding while their kids practice. Then it was crawling into bed hours later than they had promised.

You didn’t care.

Then came the interruptions, head buried in Rhaenyra's thighs and Daemon deep within you and yet his squires thought it wise to take Daemon away from you.

You had devised ways, refraining from wearing small clothes as you subjectively rubbed your arse against Daemon’s cock, pawing at Rhaenyra’s breast any shrivel of time she found to embrace you or being bare as you awaited them in bed, only to succumb to sleep alone

Still nothing.

At first, you were understanding, being a good girl and waiting, and waiting.

Then your lusts clawed at your insides, again you tried to be good, they would come to you- you’d thought.

No more!

You were extremely frustrated and touch-starved. A hungry animal lashing out.

You laid your plans out, even if it was to irk them. You would do anything to make them touch you.

Just as you woke up alone this morning, you stopped your handmaidens from dressing you into a proper lady, fuck the silks, fuck the corsets.

You had found your way in your spouse's shared study, humming a song under your breath as the knights stationed by the door let you through.

Daemon was sat at the head of the table as Rhaenyra placed next to him, discussing strategies no doubt. Your husband noticed you first, his eyes having to double take your figure stood by the door in just your white sleep shift and shawl that did nothing to cover you up. Rhaenyra caught your eyes second, she too frowned at your exposed state.

That sleep shift did nothing to cover your body, merely a sham of a garment as the lining of your breasts and perked nipples from the cold were much visible to any suspecting onlooker.

You said nothing, just gave them a loving smile and walked to the library, climbing onto the ladder to grab a book, the outline of your arse much prominently teasing both Targaryens.

The gold cloaks and vassal lords that surrounded the table knew better than to look at you, if it wasn’t Daemon that would carve out their eyes it would be Rhaenyra who fed them to the dragons.

You were kittenish, coy as you padded your way over to where the were sat. Leaning down to press a kiss onto Daemon’s cheek while giving him a good glance at your breasts before leaning up to do the same to Rhaenyra.

You nearly giggled at Daemon’s jaw ticking as you walked out.

Now for the cardinal crime.

Did you know you were not to touch yourself?

Yes.

Did your care?

No.

You’d stripped yourself bare in your shared chambers, walking around leisurely, trying on one of many different necklaces Rhaenyra had, pulling on your pretty mesh stockings before laying your eyes on your victim.

Your imaginations didn’t take much, the thought of Rhaenyra and Daemon punishing you had you pooling in between your folds in no time. You rubbed that little throbbing bud in between your legs, positioning yourself above a pillow as you moved your hips against the soft fabric.

Rhaenyra and Daemon remained at task, sticking to major topic without any diversions. They were out of the meeting within minutes, both of them annoyed at your little act.

Their prim and proper lady wife had now found amusement in whoring. Both of them knew exactly where they would find her, just as the neared their quarters the could already here the loud moans and whimpers coming from their bed chambers. The few guards stationed by knew better than to turn a blind ear to their lady’s moans.

Rhaenyra burst through the chamber door, Daemon a quick step behind her. Both of their eyes fell on your bare body grinding against the pillow on their bed.

Just from the flush on your face and the shaking in your thighs they could tell you had peaked…without them.

“What do you think you are doing?” Rhaenyra questioned as she took off her earrings, Daemon swiftly unbuckled his sheath and disarmed himself of his dagger.

“Nothing.” You chimed, still rubbing your sopping cunt on the pillow.

“Enjoy that did you? Parading yourself like a little whore to the court?” Daemon breathed out, leaning against the post of the bed.

You smirked, nodding as another whimper tore through your mouth.

“Why are you being this way, you are our sweet girl aren't you?” Rhaenyra cooed as she untangled the ribbons holding her dress together.

Daemon scoffed “She is just a little slut, go on then, come for us.” He hardly tweaked your nipple in between his fingers.

You gasped at the hurt coursing through your bosom, a small sinister part of your reveled in it, you got what you wanted. You moved your hips harder, letting your swollen bud rub against the material.

“Look at her, she’s being such a good girl.” Rhaenyra pushed your hair back, as she admired you grinding body.

“Just a needy little slut, aren't you?” Daemon spat

The duality between the two had you hurtling towards your second orgasm in minutes. You cried out as your legs spasmed.

The second you peak wash over you, Daemon yanked you forward.

“I hope you fucking enjoyed that for you have hell to pay, zaldritos.”

Rhaenyra shuffled forward into bed, spreading her legs open as she looked at you adoringly.

“Come here sweet girl,” She motioned with her fingers

“You better make her come for your sake.”

You hesitated, a sheer act of a tantrum

“B-but I want Rhaenyra’s mouth.” You pouted, earning your a sharp smack on your rear, the rings on Daemon’s fingers making it sting that much harder.

You grinned despite the throbbing on your arse

Rhaenyra reached forward to hold your jaw.

“Why are you being this way, your always so well-behaved. Our pretty girl.”

“Our pretty whore, you mean. Showing her tits like that to the court.” Daemon was far angrier than you'd ever witnessed, perhaps you bit of more than you could chew.

“You better start eating that cunt, or I swear your arse will glow red when I’m done!” Daemon bellowed his warning.

“Yes, my lord.”

Another smack on your left cheek.

“Yes, your grace.”

You dove right into a lap at Rhaenyra’s folds, hungrily sampling her cunt. Relishing in the taste of her after so long, with it also followed consistent bare-handed spanks on your rear. You whimpered into Rhaenyra’s core. You wife kept petting your hair like you were her pet cat, moaning and cooing at you as your feasted on her. You spread her folds, laying kitten licks right onto her reddening bud.

“That’s it, my good girl.” She moaned arching her back of the bed.

“Such a naughty fucking whore,” Daemon rested from spanking your ass red as he spread them to find your cunt soaking wet. Rhaenyra held your head as she ground her pussy into your mouth, coating your chin and nose in her juices.

Daemon rammed his fingers into your cunt, with ease curling them down ward to hammer into your cunt.

“Wanted to be a whore just to come? Go on then, keep fucking coming.” Daemon’s finger’s were persistent. Though his movement were violent, all aimed to make you pay for breaking a rule. You couldn’t ignore his hand that rubbed at your throbbing rear.

Rhaenyra squealed, releasing all over your face, her chest heaving as her orgasm wash over her.

“Daemon,” She reasoned with her husband, hell bent in making their wife pay.

“She’s being good now. You’re going to be good now aren’t you?” She questioned, stroking your cheek.

You said nothing.

Another smack on your arse before Daemon flipped your over. Rhaenyra shuffled your body in between her legs, holding your body steady.

Daemon shuffled into bed, tugging at his cock. Clearly prepared to fuck you into oblivion.

He gave no warning as sharp thrust filled your cunt full of him. He set an unforgiving pace, making your eyes roll back, you cunt already sensitive from your past orgasms. Rhaenyra stroked at your face. Whispering sweet words as Daemon treated you like a common whore.

Such contrast had you hurtling towards yet another orgasm, shuffling away from Daemon as his efforts refused to fail. Both of them held you down as your cried from overstimulation.

“What? I thought you wanted to come? Is this not attention enough for your slutty cunt?” Daemon grunted.

“It’s okay sweet girl. Just one more, give him one more.” She cooed as she reached forward to toy with your swollen bed. You cried out, feeling her fingers roll and flick the nub between her finger.

“Please, please I am sorry.” You begged, highly overwhelmed the throb running through your cunt. “Your grace forgive me.” You cried.

She pressed harder onto your nub, making you scream as you gushed in your husbands cock, his thrust led you through your orgasms as he breathed out his spend within you.

Just as the all dwindled to a static calm, your small cries of apologies and mewls didn’t stop.

“Shh, you did so well,” Rhaenyra kissed your temple “Daemon tell her she was good.” She hissed at her husband.

“I’m sorry,” You whimpered at your husband, he caressed your cheek as he pulled out of your weeping pussy.

“Our pretty zaldrititos.”

#daemon targaryen x reader x rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x rhaenyra targaryen #daemyra smut #daemon targaryen smut #one shot #daemon x reader #rhaenyra targaryen smut

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un-bearablysweet · 4 months

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Ben 10 Omniverse isn't a terrible show, but it often misses its mark for the sake of comedy. And it's not even good comedy either; it's the same old "Lol. Ben's so lazy, ignorant, and irresponsible. It's a wonder how he keeps the Omnitrix at all! LMFAO" And it's like, okay, we get it. Everyone thinks Ben is a moron, but if Ben's a moron, what does that make the people who lose to him? 🤨

One of the times Omniverse misses the mark on what could have been a legendary episode akin to Adventures Time's "The Hall of Egress." It is the episode Universe v. Tennyson.

The episode about Ben going to trial for recreating the universe. Besides seeing Alien X fight, the episode doesn't make any sense. And I entirely blame writers. They did not think of the logistics of how a trial of this sort of magnitude would actually go. I wouldn't be surprised if the trial was just an excuse to see the celestialsapiens in action.

They wanted a reason to explain the different art styles and all the retcons. Which in itself is stupid. As the audience, we know why specific changes are made. They didn't need to hand-feed us retconning; it always happens.

But more to the point, the entire trial is a sham. And it pissed me off to no end!

1. Ben was never subpoenaed. Alien or not, you can't part the sky like the Red Sea and drag someone to court. You have to set an official date and time for trial, allow the defense to acquire a lawyer, and build their defense. This is basic shit, and if your excuse is that it's just a kids cartoon, that doesn't excuse bad writing.

I just can't stand when people brush over essential details.

2. Only in certain circumstances can you forcefully take a person to court. And that is if the suspected criminal is considered a danger to the public or a flight risk. And even then, it's an immediate arrest before going to court for a hearing. Ambush arrests are considered a last resort; considering Ben's positions as a plumber and wielder of the Omnitrix, Ben has little to no criminal record.

3. Due process, refering back to my earlier point, the celestial sapiens would have needed to give notice of charges, and Ben would need to be heard in front of an impartial tribunal. The entire universe is not an impartial jury. There's a reason any Rando can't walk into a courtroom and decide whether a person is guilty. What if several people aren't even aware of the trial? That could skewer the vote in favor of the Plaintiff (Celestialsapiens)

If the writers on Omniverse weren't so focused on having a hate boner for the main character, this could have been a great episode. And it is a hate boner because why else would they pick Mr. Baumann as the first witness. This dude had beef with Ben since early childhood before having the Omnitrix. His opinion is beyond biased.

Also, Rook took the first chance to air his petty grievances with Ben in front of the entire universe in a court of law, and that is beyond shitty. Ben being "ignorant of many things" isn't a proven fact; it's a personal opinion. Also, being ignorant is a crime?

And had Ben been sentenced to death or died in the trial by combat, what was the plan afterward? Rook carries Ben's body to his mother and says,

"Sorry, Ms. Tennyson, your minor child didn't have the mental knowledge and fortitude of a 50-year-old veteran; his death was totally justified. "

If Ben is ignorant of many things, it is because he is young and has only just started exploring the universe. Many toddlers should be behind bars if simply being uninformed is a crime. It's like the show constantly forgets that Ben is still young but insists on punishing him for it.

The court case is to decide whether Ben recreated the universe; his lack of knowledge and irresponsibility are not up for debate. Besides, Rook has only known Ben for a few months; I doubt that makes him a sound judge of character.

I wish they had brought different people to the witness stand. They could have made excellent callbacks by bringing characters like

Tetrax- He is literally the guardian of Omnitrix and decided that even at age 10, the Omnitrix was safe in Ben's hands. Also, the fact that Ben restores the planet Petropia can be used to defend Ben's recreation of the universe.

Reinrassig III- I'm sure the word of Highbreed Supreme would hold more weight in court than Mr. Bauman. A small store owner on a tiny planet in the far corner of the galaxy.

Queen Cicely of the Lewodan( ep. Con of Rath) - The mother of the Tiffin, you know, the baby Ben jumped down a man's throat to save. Ben broke the law by doing that but still prevented a massive war.

Magister Hulka- (ep. Basic Training) Hulka is a well-decorated Plumber and was Ben's academy instructor. Ben passed with flying colors despite disobeying orders, saving Hulka's life. He even gave Ben his medal for creativity and effective tactics. His word holds more weight than Rook Blonko's, a literally rookie in the plumber association.

Azmuth- do I even need to say anything?

Maxx and Xylene are more than familiar with the Omnitrix and Ben himself.

Paradox is literally the number one expert on the subject.

Could you imagine the cross-examination with these characters?

And even without proper character witnesses, Ben could argue that what is illegal is not always morally right.

What is the actual crime, the crime of caring too much? And if his crime is recreating the universe without prior permission. The celestialspaiens were a hidden society; how would he have gotten permission?

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

If Ben was the only living thing left after the universe was destroyed, did he really break the law since no one was there to uphold it?

Especially since he created the universe up until the very moment it was destroyed, so no time would have passed at all.

Ben's other option was leaving that universe for dead, and pulling a Rick and Morty, but he didn't do that cause he's not a sociopath.

The only angle that makes sense for this trial to happen is if it wasn't to prosecute Ben, but to send a message. The message that Celestialsapiens are not to be trifled with and that any attempts will be met with extreme prejudice and even death by combat.

The Celestialsapiens have recreated the universe multiple times, with even more drastic changes than just a smoothie flavor. I mean, Grandpa Max can't even open his eyes, and Azmuth's voice has changed several times. They literally point that out in the episode, and yet this is the first time a trial has ever been broadcasted to the universe.

In fact, this is the first time any other aliens have seen a celestialsapien save for Alien X. And even he was deemed a myth. So why now? Why the grand fan fair? Why broadcast the trial at all? They never notified the universe before.

It's because the celestial aliens were afraid for the first time since their conception. Their entire beings were briefly erased from existence and recreated, and they did not like it! Do you honestly believe that they changed anything about themselves after recreating the universe multiple times? Of course not!

But Ben doing that sent the species into a mental spiral of worry and anguish with the fear of not being completely yourself. The same curse they've placed upon the universe prior without any hint of guilt.

The trial was about establishing dominance to keep Ben from recreating the universe regardless of his reasoning. But also to prevent other aliens from attempting the same thing. That's why the trial was broadcasted through the galaxy. This was just a bunch of dick-swinging, so the celestialsapiens don't have to face any sort of actual accountability.

#ben 10 omniverse #ben tennyson #ben 10 #Universe Vs Tennyson #tetrax shard #professor paradox #Azmuth #Alien X #Rook Blonko #personal rant

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since-im-already-here · 2 months

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Permit me to remind you

Part 2

Art by Zitszy - found on pinterest

“My darling, permit me to refresh your memory.”

Just as he was about to close the gap between you, finally placing his hand upon your cheek, you hear a faint bell ringing. The bell attached to the corner of the kitchen wall jangled with rattled chimes echoing throughout the kitchen. Miss Kaya is in need of assistance, which means you would not have adequate time to discuss what transpired between you at present.

“Miss K-Kaya?” you nervously stated, shivering slightly at the warmth of his hand leaving your face.

“I must continue my duties,” He stated, trailing his hand slowly down your cheek before slinking away from you, “I will see you in my office later.” Your blush hurried to swell your cheeks at the thought of what is to come from meeting in his office after hours, watching him fix his collar and turn to walk away.

Coughing gently out your fluster and composing yourself, he halted his footfalls, tilting his head to glance at you over his shoulder. Once he shamelessly raked his eyes over your body for any injury or affliction: he noticed you were simply masking your successful fluster, he smirks and pushes up his glasses with the palm of his hand.

Once Klahadore was out of sight, you let out a sigh and moved yourself from the kitchen; just as Sham came into the kitchen to start on the amassment of dirtied dishes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Once concluding your business with Kaya, bringing her a simple glass with cool water to aid her respiration, you find yourself back in your room. You mentally debate the positives and rebuttals of meeting with Klahadore in his office. On one hand, you really want to meet with your boss, and the thought sparks your body alight with shivers of anticipation.

But on the other, you don’t think it’s a very sound decision to make. He was your boss, you a subordinate beneath him. The thought of ‘beneath him’ sparked another shudder to spring from the crown of your head to your toes. You shake your head to rid yourself of the thought, reprimanding yourself for thinking in the more positive light, as opposed to seeking out the negatives in the argument.

If you were to have a relationship with him, even just physical, it would shift the whole dynamic of the workplace environment. The status-quo would be forever changed.

Would it be for the night only? Would he wish to bind himself to you completely, physically and mentally? Did he simply desire to reprimand you for igniting your curiosity by pressing your lips to his? Did you truly desire such a relationship?

Walking over to your vanity, you pick up your hairbrush and begin to harshly rake at your hair with a firm hand. As you continue to brush out your hair, your thoughts spiral through your head: like the rainwater collected on Kaya’s mansion roof, shooting down the metal catchments and filling the dam to the point of bursting.

“Get ahold of yourself, idiot,” you cursed at yourself, your eyes meeting your own within your reflection, “It was just a kiss. An insignificant kiss. A kiss that you should not be dwelling on for so long. It is unbecoming of a woman such as yourself-.”

Breaking you away from your swirling thoughts: a quiet rap of knuckles meeting your door drew you from monologuing aloud further. Thinking it was Sham coming to check your room for forgotten tea cups, you hastily call out to her.

“Just a moment Sham,” You turned your head away from the mirror to throw your words over your shoulder, “I’m just getting ready for bed-.”

“-So, you did choose to disobey me?” The purr of a warm, sly voice answers your call in return.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you watch the door handle rattle and rotate. As it began to turn, the door milliseconds away from flinging wide to reveal the cause of your grievances; you hastily thrust your body into motion, moving quickly to slam yourself against the door. No thoughts in your head came to you, other than a brief fear of reprimand flooding you to spring to motion. The voice behind the threshold of the doorframe chuckles in a dark rumble, the audible smirk elevating his line of questioning.

“Are you sure you want to play this game darling?” His voice ticked up in his distinct quirk, an almost playful smirk springing over his vocal tone, “I was only coming to talk,” you heard the sound of his gloved hand tracing the wood of the door, sliding down the frame as he spoke, “But we can play if that’s what you want.”

White hot heat floods through your body at his words, the panic in your eyes and harsh beat of your heart thumping against your ribcage. Leaning your back softly against the door, you closed your eyes as you focussed on the words you desired to relay onto him.

“Klahadore please,” you whimpered through your whispered words, “Just give me this night to think, I'm still not too sure of what we were-... -what we are doing.” Your words almost convince you, but the waver in your voice as you cried your plea sounded a bit too desperate. Too needy.

“And for that reason I was hoping to speak with you, Darling,” He withdrew his gloved hand from the wood and hovered it just above the grain, “Open the door. I promise not to touch you, if that is what you truly want.”

The head of fresh blood rushes to your cheeks as you imagine his hands on you again: the firmness of his grasp, the tender embrace of his lips oscillating with your own, the brush of his dark hair over your forehead meeting with the cool metal of his spectacles-.

Your thoughts were drawn away from themselves once more at the rattle of the door handle beginning to move again. You shook your head, reopening your eyes as you hardened your resolve to focus on this heavy conversation. Would it hurt so much to just let him in?

Turning to face the grain of the door, you hastily made your decision to allow your boss permission to enter your suite. Moving your feet slowly backwards, the door opens to reveal the darkened silhouette of the man of your affections; the man who held you so tenderly nights prior, the man who was your boss.

You attempt to calm the rise of your beating heart as you see him, the patter rattling harshly and causing your breaths to fall from your lips in anxious pants. He was exactly the same as you saw him last: raven hair slicked back to reveal his spectacle-clad face, his work suit just as immaculate and neat as they were mere hours prior.

However, his aura had changed. There was something new lying beneath the surface. His grey orbs held a mystery behind them that propelled more anxiety to rise in your features. His pupils were slightly dilated, his lips only subtly parted, and his breathing was heavier and more unbridled as he drew in heaping gulps of the air surrounding you. He almost looks flustered.

Pushing his glasses up from his nose with the heel of his right palm, his eyes flutter down to your body and assess every dip and curve of your body beneath your sleepwear. The bob of his Adams Apple at halting where more skin was exposed to him than within your regular uniform had your heart rapidly beating further, prompting you to shield your body from him to conceal it beneath your forearms.

Seeing you in your night attire seemed to only fluster him more. The heat in your face and the way your lips parted as you took in heavy breaths propelled his own heavy and deliberate breathing to further plague him.

Clearing his throat, he began an attempt at trying to speak - but it seemed he couldn’t quite find the appropriate words to relay onto you. His sly manipulation for you to open the door depleted the last of his energy reserves for the night, his workload catching up to him at last. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you huffed out a breath and shook your head of any last thoughts holding you back.

“Klahadore, is it really appropriate for us to be meeting this late?” you glance at the hanging grandfather clock in the corner of your suite before drawing your eyes to return to his, “And in my bedroom of all places?” He sighed softly before stepping closer to your body, his hand elevating to reach for you. You swiftly stepped back, clicking your tongue in playful reprimand.

“Uh, uh,” you shook your head, “You said you wouldn’t touch me.” A shaken and growl-like sigh fled from his lips, his eyes finding yours once more and softening as he joined them with you. You cocked your head innocently to the side, uttering a simple, “Let’s just talk, please.”

It is at this moment that you became suddenly aware of how truly little was shielding your nudity from his body. The sheer material of your nightdress clinging to your every curve, the outline of your body clearly seen on your quivering flesh. You quickly drew your eyes over your chest first, noticing the dip in fabric and the sheerness of the material before joining your eyes with his - wide and panicked. His eyes were heavy, continuously and hypnotically drawing below your collarbone with his breath shaking, before they snap back up to your eyes.

Moving his hands back to his sides and stepping around you, he finds your plush and dimpled chaise at the end of your bed. The velvet material latches to his trousers as he sits upon its surface, patting the space beside him to beckoning you to join him.

“If you desire me to sit by your side,” you arched your brow up and held your arms folded across your chest, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, given my attire.” You began feeling self-conscious at the notion that this was not only the first time he’s been in your room, he had never seen you in a state less than professional in your attire.

Usually you are strong willed, firm in your ways, and set on making sure Kaya is happy as well as cared for. but right now you feel small in his gaze. Weak to his advances, you want to give in, sit next to him and let him engulf you completely but you are still unsure of what that would make you, what that would do to your somewhat flirty friendship.

“Look at you, timid and shy as a mouse, come here to me” He asks somewhat politely but his eyes tell you that he isn’t leaving much room for debate, his stare wanting you to fight back, wanting you to just try to defy him again. Just as you did in the kitchen.

“Klahadore i-“ you begin but are, rudely, interrupted.

“I know dear mouse, you just want to know what it meant hmm? Was it just to let off some steam? Was I toying with you? Trying to put you in your place after disobeying me?” The minute he started taunting you the minute that fire lit in you again, just as it did when you were being shunned in the kitchen

“How dare you? Coming into my chambers at this hour, speaking to me like I'm beneath you?” As you begin to fume with disgust you realise this is exactly what he wants you to do. He wants you to get frustrated, he knows that’s the only way to get complete control over you. Get you frustrated and upset, then begin his advances with his touches and his kisses, demanding control over your body and syphoning your frustration into lust for him to relieve you of. You have to admit it was indeed working because, even though you have discovered his intentions, you still want him to do it.

“Oh i do like that look on your face, little mouse, i’m sure the situation that we had in the wine cellar that night is weighing on you hmm?”, He folds his hands in his lap and leans back on the chaise’ backrest shuffling himself, legs spreading as he gets comfortable.

“No, it’s not weighing on me at all” you lie, eyes dropping to the floor then back up to him, his smirk. Bastard.

“No? Then why didn’t you come to my office? Instead you hide yourself away like a little mouse running from a cat”

“Would you stop calling me a mouse!” you huff, your arms unwinding themselves from your chest and moving to grip your hips in anger.

“i didn’t come to your office because it was getting late and you were still busy with your duties, i already told you before my working hours begin between the time my lady rises in the morning, and concludes once she is settled for the night, and i did not intend to stay up the night waiting for you to grace me with your presence!” you pant heavily after your words escape your mouth in a hurry.

“oh? But was it not my orders to do so?” he challenges “just as it is now my orders for you to come and sit down” Your brain must have turned off for a second because you feel your body moving towards him and before you could stop yourself he moves forward and collects you, sitting you down beside him, and turning to you.

“Klahadore, what do you want from me?” taking a deep breath to calm yourself,you surge forward and grasp his hands tightly with your own

“i respect you greatly, and i should not have engaged with you in such a way, Klahadore i’m sor-”

“There’s no need to apologise my dear, if i didn’t want it, i would have stopped you. I apologise for teasing. I do want to clear the air” raising his hand to your cheek, the invitation to touch you granted by your hands grasping his not a moment before seems to be consent enough for him.

“As much as I do like teasing you, seeing you get frustrated was a highlight of my day most days, your willingness to bicker with me…well” he stops himself from going any further with that thought and begins another;

“that night was a particularly bad night for Miss Kaya, and i do worry for her. I needed to remove some stress and you were so willing-” Hearing this made you move away, his hand falling from your face,

“is that all it was to you? A release of stress? Well I'm glad it didn’t go any further than it did” you feel your eyes start to well with tears as you stand to walk to the door, waiting to usher him out. Instead as you stand and turn from him, he grabs your wrist and turns you to stand between his legs, your other hand immediately rises to your face to hide yourself from him.

“Let me finish, please Darling” his other hand reaches towards your face, to remove your hand, but you turn so slightly to hide yourself. The hand on your wrist removes itself to find a new home at your waist, drawing you closer.

“Look at me”, it sounds like an order but it’s really a plea, nobody wants to talk to a brick wall. Holding back your tears, you face him again.

“You were so willing, to help me” he took a deep breath, prompting you to do the same,

“I had a lot of tasks so fulfil that day, days of unfinished dishes were piling up, Sham and Buchi were nowhere to be found - then you swoop in, offering to some soup up to Miss Kaya for me” he sighs out his breath “giving me a fresh breath of obedience that i just had to reward”

You go to move your hand out of his grasp to cover your ever heating face again, feeling another wave of embarrassment wash over you

“shh sh sh, come here” you squirm as he pulls and you’re falling into his lap, legs swinging between his knees and hand landing on his chest. His hands begin to wander but stop when they reach your inner thigh and begin squeezing gently. You feel his breath on your neck, you stifle a moan as he begins whispering into it.

“I would never use you, everything i want to do to you - i want you to be begging for it”

You start to think to yourself if it is actually embarrassment or that other red hot feeling. His hands are caressing your inner thighs but never moving above them, subtly teasing that he wants you to start begging for him to do something, but not saying he will.

The confusion of the day, and the workload, finally weigh on you and you feel your body relaxing under his touch. Feeling the sudden mood shift, Klahadore brings his outer hand and begins rubbing up and down your back,

“My poor little thing, the day finally catching up with you? I suppose the threat of a formal reprimand got to you, hm?” his words aren't really being taken to mind as he pulls he stress from your body with just his hands,

“Just relax for me i’ll make you feel better” it doesn't really register in your mind as you're being pulled to your feet and walked over to your bed. Already dressed for bed your body doesn’t feel the need for resistance, but you feel yourself objecting vocally as he situates himself onto your bed after tucking you under your covers,

“What’s the matter now darling?” he doesn’t move from his spot on your bed, sitting on the edge but close enough to touch you.

“No, it’s nothing, just tired I suppose” a headache starts to form, “but I don't want you to think I'm pushing you away or trying to avoid-” you begin to defend yourself.

“No pushing away, just sleep for tonight little mouse, perhaps another night we can play hm?” He swiftly moves himself up, standing over you, ready to leave the room but you grasp his hand before he can do so.

“Perhaps just one kiss Klahadore? To say goodnight?” you see him smirk at this as he leans down to give you a light peck, that you quickly deepen, wanting to feel him flushed again.

“Just a goodnight kiss my darling”, he moves away towards your door and makes a show of blowing out your dim burning candles on your vanity.

He says one final goodnight to you and closes your door, You faintly hear his footsteps leaving. Your headache worsens as you think to yourself. Perhaps you have been working too much lately, but if you were sick, surely the pot of tea you shared with Miss Kaya would help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apprehensive tag list @fanaticsnail @writingmysanity @sordidmusings

#one piece #op x reader #klahadore x reader #one piece live action #op klahadore #fanfic #opla fic #opla #captain kuro x reader #black cat kuro #op kuro #kuro x reader

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zinniajones · 11 months

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These "expert" pediatricians were paid by a far-right legal group to come up with evidence to attack the WPATH transgender standards of care

What this is: Leaked documents show the anti-LGBT legal group Alliance Defending Freedom paying manufactured experts to attack WPATH’s transgender standards of care, asking them to find evidence for harmful anti-trans myths that they knew were baseless and unsubstantiated. This is an original finding and report by Zinnia Jones (she/her), a transgender Florida resident of 11 years whose access to HRT is now jeopardized by the enactment of state law and policy based on work from these same experts.

Detailed summary: From 2019 onward, states across the US have been faced with an intensely active wave of reused anti-trans experts, recurring characters who keep repeating the same spurious arguments against gender-affirming care in court cases, legislatures, and other policy bodies. Where did they come from, and why did this start happening?

Due to the Florida-based anti-LGBT hate group American College of Pediatricians choosing to set one of their Google Drive folders to be publicly viewable by anyone, files were released this month showing the contents of their staff’s communications and other working notes over several years.

These documents included records of the Alliance Defending Freedom - another hate group who are also responsible for bringing the mifepristone case with ACP as a plaintiff - approaching ACP's leaders in 2018 and 2019 to offer them a grant of $10,000 or more. The ADF wanted the pediatricians “to draft a white paper that refutes the WPATH Standards of Care”, “for use in litigation and should also benefit many other allies at State and Federal Level”.

ACP’s president Quentin Van Meter and executive director Michelle Cretella promptly got to work on this “Special Project”, and the ADF hosted expert witness workshops at ACP's conferences. ACP members including Van Meter went on to present anti-trans testimony in several ADF-litigated cases and ADF-involved trans youth care bans.

In May 2022, Van Meter authored a sham report for Florida Medicaid to justify their trans coverage exclusion, mostly drawing from previous ACP position statements; court filings later revealed Michelle Cretella was recommended by the Florida governor’s office, and she pointed the way to all the other anti-trans experts hired by Florida in 2022 to support the Medicaid exclusion of transition care.

One notable document found in the ACP’s drive contains “Transgender Research Requests”, with the ADF asking Cretella and other ACP leaders to “substantiate” now-commonplace anti-trans talking points. These included bizarre claims by the ADF such as “it is normal during adolescence for children to go through a phase when they identify (to some degree) with the opposite sex”, and “For those who have undergone hormone therapy and genital change surgery, a paper that says they are no happier (and perhaps worse off if the research supports it)”.

The ADF was asking this anti-trans group to come up with anything that could support the arguments they were already planning to make.

This appears to be one of the very sites where those baseless myths about suicide, social contagion and other supposed harms, now regularly repeated in court cases and testimony and uncritically accepted by the mainstream right wing, were conceived and gestated.

These same experts then substantially reused these work products in their reports for Florida Medicaid, a public health agency whose accepted standards determination process is supposed to be a transparent and open-ended evaluation of peer-reviewed medical evidence.

Altogether, these documents appear to demonstrate a paid smear by a hate group and right-wing law firm against a leading professional transgender healthcare organization following the best available evidence and medical practices, as well as misconduct on the part of ACP experts who reused this work in their reports for a Florida public health agency.

(asks are open)

#transphobia #transgender #trans #Florida #Florida Medicaid #trans youth care ban #trans care ban #Alliance Defending Freedom #American College of Pediatricians #LGBT #tw transphobia #tw homophobia #Ron DeSantis #Florida GOP #SB 254

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whatanightmaregrinch · 7 months

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Hancock x GN!Sole Survivor- far off victories

[omg is this actual words on a page?? Hello babies I’m back!!!]

“Hancock?”

“Hmmm…?” Your hands tightened their grip around his torso, and you pressed your face into his back. His soft raspy chuckle at your insistence had him gently pat your soft hand with his ruined one, and then dragged his fingers across your knuckles lightly. “I love you.” Your voice mumbled softly into his coat, and his heart (or whatever ruinous creature that had become it) twinged. It was easy to be gentle to him in moments like this, but he couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering from the endearment; his anxiety swirled as he considered the time limit to your love. He was silent a moment too long, and your hands gripped his shirt, hands almost shaking in the moonlight as you took the rejection. You remained steadfast in your hope, that perhaps in a few months, a few years; he might come around to your type of love. From his slouched position, he took an extra long drag of his cigarette, before stabbing it out on the floor next to him. His shaky exhale hit your ears, and your grip tightened on him. The silence between you both was cavernous- wide and unyielding; until the faintest tremors from his rib cage indicated he was crying. Your lips pressed into a thin line, you frowned, and your grasp went from his shirt to the his hand that had long since disappeared from yours. He clenched onto your palm, and neither of you said a word as you coaxed him through it, his exhausted gasps and horrid sniffs as his whole body was rigid. Minutes ticked away until it turned into an hour; and just when you thought you’d done irreparable damage, he started to come down from it all. His crying got louder; but it signified he could breathe enough to let it out now, slowly riding the wave down as the adrenaline surged in him. He turned suddenly in your arms to face you, biting back a wince as his ribs nearly crushed your elbow as he rolled, and he thrust his face into your neck, finding purchase on you in whatever way he could. In this position, you wrapped your arms around him properly, trying to protect him from the misery he was entrenched in.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, hands right on him as he shook his head into your neck; refusing the apology but unable to explain himself just yet. He couldn’t accept your apology; not after you’d been so open and honest with him. He couldn’t help but seek your comfort, your honesty, your warmth. Travelling with you, fighting by your side- it was something he wanted desperately. He wanted you desperately. But the lack of love he’d received up until this point was so low that he felt like an imposter accepting it. He did not deserve it. He could not explain this to you, but he felt like on some level, you had already understood it would be like this. When he had explained to you how he felt in the beginning, and you’d surprised him and told him you wanted something more with him, he’d nearly rejected you. How could you love a face like this? These hands, covered in the blood of people I’d betrayed. His thoughts drifted to you; and how you’d sacrificed so much. Your partner, your family- everything by being thrust forward in time to an almost unrecognisable, hellish sham of what your life used to be. And yet, he could not bring himself to be brave with his feelings the way you could, the way you faced each day with a tired smile, ready to make something anew with everything you had been handed. Perhaps one day, he’d be able to return your mumbled praises, tell you how he saw the stars in your eyes; how each hit of jet he took would bring him nowhere close to the nirvana he experienced with you. One day, but not now.

#fallout 4 #fallout #fallout 4 john hancock #John Hancock #Hancock x reader #fallout 4 Hancock #fanfic #slightly sad I guess but hi!!! here’s a little ditty to prove I’ve not abandoned you all #life just be stressful right now #whatanightmaregrinch

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vivilingriphyn · 3 months

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The Sham | Ch■■

[check tags at the end]

━━━━━━━━━━━

Jay was backed into a corner, few of the many criminals they were facing had isolated him and likely his fellow ninja as well, with no possible way to ask for backup nor any routes to escape.

The underling hanging from Jay's hand dropped to the ground unconscious as he let go of his grip, Just like those that came before they ended up here, Jay’s foes pause as they take cautious strides forward.

The one leading the underlings steps forward, his mask was off unlike the rest who hid their identities under their hooded masks, it was clear from his expression and the way he held himself, the extent of his loyalty to his cause.

His eyes shifted at his wounded comrade on the ground, then looked back up at Jay. “Jay Walker.” The man began, his amber eyes glared at Jay.

Anger was obvious in his expression, but what could have led that anger to surface? The conviction to his cause and to end his enemy that have been a roadblock to achieving such goals. Or perhaps… concern…. Concern for his fallen comrades, or thinking of the possibility of how many more will fall if they continue to prolong this battle?

“That's Impossible”

“You're in no condition to continue fighting, surrender now.”

The man said sternly. Standing tall in front of the wounded and worn out Ninja, yet he doesn't seem to boast nor mock Jay. The firmness in his words yet the slight plea to end this struggle.

“Ninja never quit.” The words came out like a broken record. Triggering for the man to look back at Jay sharply just as the man snaps. “Just give it up already! Do you even think that we want to fight? Most casualties would've been avoided entirely if it weren't for you Ninja intervening! We didn't want to fight! But you leave us no choice.”

The man said as his hand quickly raised that held his gun. A firm conviction in his eyes as if he had made his decision. “You know, even if you Ninja succeed. I'll make sure to bring at least one of their pillars down, for bringing everything we've worked so hard for to crumble.”

The barrel points towards Jay, the man’s finger tightly holding the trigger, yet his aim wasn't stable, his conviction was firm, the man was sure of it. Yet… why is his hand quivering? Was this what it felt like to hold one's life in your hands? How could anyone ever…

This brings back memories.

“I’ll make sure to show you what it felt like for them to die alone.”

The man eyed the Ninja coldly, hiding himself behind an apathetic mask, his underlings stiffened and on edge as they held their own weapons firmly. The air was heavy with the man’s declaration being met with silence.

Then came a bitter laugh.

Jay’s shoulders shook as he cackled. It sounded broken and mad. Like a string was snapped as the Ninja slowly moved to hold himself up once more from his hunched position, with his head still facing down.

His curls fall to cover his face, making it impossible to see his expression other than the strained smile on his lips.

“Oh, if only…” Jay said as he stood back up, with his words laced with animosity.

“What?” the man’s anger boiled at the Ninja’s response.

“How unfortunate.“ Jay sighed, sounding almost disappointed, his eyes shifting back to the man, his gaze darkened as the air shifted. His body moved to face the man and his underlings despite how worn out and bruised he was, like a broken marionette still forced to play and perform. It would’ve been admirable if it weren't for the pain and desperation in the Ninja’s eyes.

Rather than a soldier ready to fight once more with rekindled spirit… the man saw a broken captive wanting release from its prison even if that release meant death.

“You don't know just how much I'd kill for that…”

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writingcold · 5 months

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Welcome to Chapter Nine and Ten of Best Laid Plans

A/N: I know. Just trust me. I have said that it will have a happy ending. Just not yet.

This is a complete fiction - totally made up. I do not, nor will I ever know Jake or any member of GVF. That said, this story is mine. Please respect that.

Are you starting to understand the barrage of bullets that @takenbythemadness has taken while proofreading this thing for me? Yeah. Send her all your positive vibes and forehead kisses, please and thank you.

Content warnings: Language. Deep depression. Poor view of self. Poor mindset. Talk of adultery. Misogynic character. Verbal arguing. Divorce. Be ready for a big reveal. It hurts. It’s not horrible, but it hurts. Well... maybe a little horrible.

Word count: approx. 9500

Chapter 9: May, 1990: Jake POV

Life was a sham. My life was less than the frail mist that hung amongst the branches of the tree that I could see out my back window. I had sat for hours, the bottle between my fingers steadily grew lighter while my spirit grew atrophied and heavy. She was gone. Amanda carried everything out with her like she did not realize what she had taken from me. And I allowed it. Just like always.

I stirred against my better judgment. My vision was blurred and my body was full of ache. A familiar hum stuck my ear from the void beyond the couch that made me want to retreat into the bottle to hide my embarrassment.

“Dear lord, it moved,” Josh’s voice rumbled in my ears without humor, but it also lacked malice.

I coughed as I leaned forward, my fingers reaching for a bottle that was no longer on the table before me. I frowned as I realized that everything before me had been cleared away leaving only a tall glass of water. “How long have you been here?” I asked as I oozed back into the couch.

“Couple days. Henry called Ronnie…”

I grimaced as Josh ran through the line. I had forgotten my parents were in Hawaii for an extended vacation. I could just picture Ronnie pounding on my door, to which according to Josh, she wanted to kick my ass for not answering.

“But then, she got scared, so she used the key to find your nearly naked ass passed out about where you are now,” he explained with a shiver through his shoulders.

I scrunched up my face as the heat of embarrassment flooded my system. “Fuck,” I sighed as my innards started to jiggle in protest.

“So, she called me and I happened to have some time,” Josh remarked as he was swiping at the counter with a disgusted look. “Jesus, Jake, when was the last time you cleaned this kitchen?”

I could barely hold my head up as my mouth started to flood with spit.

“Anyway, I’ve been covering what I can at the shop. Sam got here yesterday and has been covering as well. He brought Danny with him, so between Danny and Henry, all your lessons are covered for a few more days. Dan’s heading out on tour, so we really need to get your ass back into your shop.”

My brain felt like toasted marshmallow and my mouth felt like it was filled with paste. Josh continued to clean, peeking into the oven to reveal the smell of food. He said that Ms. Ada sent a casserole - well, actually had sent many over. One for each day of this week. My stomach soured with the smell and produced a round of nasty burps that sent me flying to the bathroom. I retched everything out as if all the alcohol was fleeing my system by any means possible. I could hear Josh’s ramblings as I thought for sure my internal organs were next to exit my mouth. I was shit. I was lower than shit and did not deserve any kind of help in the matter.

“Let’s get you into a shower,” he said softly, pushing me by the shoulders to rest against the wall.

I had no fight left in me. I watched as he turned on the spray, holding his hand under the water just like our mom used to, even did the little toe tap as he waited. He ordered me to take off my rags and helped me over the ridge of the bathtub. The water was like an acid spray as it struck my skin like hot sandpaper. I sputtered and choked as I made a show of doing what he wanted me to do while he stood protectively at the edge of the tub. I pushed my face under, allowing the sensation of heat and clean to consume my ravaged skin. Josh, satisfied that I was not going to fall over like an idiot, walked away for a few minutes.

“This is clearly not about Georgia,” he said, returning with clothes to set on the vanity. “You danced a fucking jig when you signed those papers. What gives? I thought everything was going good.”

“I can’t talk about it,” I whispered, allowing the water to pour down and beat upon my back.

“Bull shit,” Josh remarked loudly. “The last time I saw you like this was with… god dammit. Please don’t tell me you did something stupid and Amanda is involved.”

The stab in my chest was brutal. I inhaled water and sputtered through a cough before regaining my senses. “You’ve been at the shop. Have you seen her next door?”

Josh stayed silent for a long time, leaving my guts to twist. “She stopped in yesterday afternoon with treats for us from the morning poetry reading.”

I rolled my eyes shut, fighting myself from asking if she inquired about me; wondered if she noticed my absence. Another strangled breath as I waited for more from him.

“I guess it makes some sense, now that I look at it,” Josh remarked coolly.

His words toiled in my belly as I heard him leave the bathroom for a few minutes. The sound of the closet door opening and drawers being forced to shut matched the cogs of my thoughts. He could not hide, however, the exasperated sound that he ground out in my room.

“You’re the reason that poor woman looks destroyed,” he said, his voice full of a hard edge. “Meg and Bugger thought it was because her husband was back in town...”

I kept completely still. I could feel it. The pieces were falling into place slowly, each clicking with a metallic click that I could feel happen for my twin.

“Fuck, no, Jake,” Josh growled, incredulous.

I shivered despite the heat of the water and steam all around me. “Go make a pot of coffee. I’ll tell you everything.”

I waited for him to argue with me right away. Instead, I realized that he actually listened to me. Finishing up my shower, I found that he had left a set of clean clothes for me on the vanity along with a new razor and shave cream. It did not take long to feel human again, though my innards begged to differ.

Josh had the hot dish waiting on the kitchen table and the coffee was just finished brewing. Just the smell of real subsistence made my body beg for respite. Josh gave me a double portion along with the biggest mug of coffee, smoking a cigarette while he waited as I ate. The food felt good in my belly, I could not lie.

“Okay,” Josh remarked as I pushed my near empty plate away. “Spill it. What the hell have you been up to and how are you going to fix it.”

“There is no fixing it,” I answered, feeling the exhaustion creep over me like a monster.

It started with a word. Her name. Amanda. Followed by another word, followed by another until it was all falling out of my mouth like a wave. Josh asked no questions, gave me no interruptions. Just sat and listened. When I felt my breath escape me as my shame rose, he waited. When my face turned red and my voice curled with anger, he leaned away, but did not stop me. He let me spill all of it onto the table between us like a demon that needed to be exorcized. When I finally collapsed back in my chair, a cigarette between my fingers and my mouth quiet, Josh let out a long, low whistle.

“Damn, Jake,” he whispered, his face full of emotions. “That’s more than… a lot.”

I rubbed a hand across my face. It was not all of it. I took a long, deep drag before stretching my neck. “And all of it is because of a lie.”

His brows furrowed as he picked up my dishes and moved to deposit them in the sink before refilling our cups. “How’s that?”

“Liam was not mine,” I whispered.

His face hardened. “What the hell, Jake. How is that true?”

“Georgia lied. She was already pregnant when we…” I refused to be crass, even if it was Josh.

“How do you know? Did she tell you?”

I shook my head as my words tripped over a sob. “She’d go off on these rants when she was really out of it. But I got the gist of it - she pretty much said I was not his dad.”

I felt the emotion swell and bubble until I couldn’t hold back the tears that pushed from the corners of my eyes. I swiped at them as Josh sat back down before me. His eyes were full of love and compassion as his hands reached for my shoulders.

“You are that little boy’s dad. Do you hear me?” he said, voice full of tears, the same as my own. “You loved him. We all did. We all wanted him to stay. Jake, I’ve never seen you so full of life as I had when I saw you holding him. Your boy.”

I was nodding as we cried together. My heart wept daily for Liam. Just because he was not of me did not mean he was not mine. I knew this. It was a burden that was carried for so long already. To be able to share the burden with Josh was a relief.

“Do you think Mandy will leave her husband?” he asked after a long silence.

I shrugged. The beauty of my previous week lay as toxic sludge in my chest. For her to walk out, I understood. It took me a while to figure it out - she was leaving me so as not to allow Roger the satisfaction of throwing me into her face. If she left him, she could have no mar to find that would allow him to have an advantage. I got it. I understood it. But goddamn to have our brief time twisted into something wrong shoved me into a hole that I was struggling to climb out of.

Josh folded his arms with a troubled look. “It won’t be an instant remedy, Jake. If Mandy leaves her husband, their assets are more than what you and Georgia contended with. Roger doesn’t seem like the kind of man that is going to be amicable no matter what situation he was caught in. Mandy could lose her Sparrow.”

I felt the line of my mouth harden as my teeth mashed together. “Motherfucker,” I grumbled. “I didn’t think about it. Fuck.”

Josh’s expression told me he was already miles ahead of me. He began to tap the table with thought. “You’re going to have to keep your distance, Jake. For her. During all of this - you’re going to have to keep your distance.”

I kept my mouth shut for I knew something stupid would fall out if I said anything. All I could do was shake my head ‘no’. My teeth buried themself into my lip as if I was an angry toddler ready to drop a fit.

“I mean it. You keep your distance.”

I was back to the shop the next morning, my shell back in place despite it feeling like it was two sizes too big. Bugger was on shift, his eyes watching me like I was going to either explode or evaporate into the fog. I had closed myself into one of the practice rooms with one of the new acoustics that we had gotten in to give it a spin. I heard movement on the other side of the shared wall. I imagined that it was Mandy, setting up for the Tuesday brunch crew. I smiled as I landed on “It Hurt Me Too” by Hound Dog Taylor, my fingers digging into the frets in hopes that she would hear me. I added in all my loud flourishes and soft touches until drawing into “These Arms of Mine”. I just needed her to know we were okay. That we would survive.

I was in my office when I heard the buzz of the door chime and Bugger’s voice flowing through the shop. I stood up when I realized it was not just a customer that he was talking to. Stepping beyond my door to find Mandy handing him the leftover treats from her group with a shy smile made my chest tighten. Josh was right, she was not out in the world like everything was fine. She had not noticed that I was there, so I took the time to collect myself and keep Josh’s sentiment of keeping my distance in my thoughts.

“Glad to see you back, Jake,” she said with a wave. “Feeling better?”

I nodded, playing along. “Yeah. Much better.”

“Josh stopped in earlier on his way out to your parents,” she replied as she watched Bugger make off with double brownies, chocolate chip cookies and Bailey bars. “It was nice to get a chance to catch up with him. Sounds like he’s got a huge project coming up.”

She was keeping to safe talk, though her eyes kept traveling to mine with a threat of tears. I wanted to reach out to her. I wanted to tug her into my office and hold her until it was better for us both. I could only hope that she could see the broken heart that was within me. We continued to chat for moments only before I saw the quiver in her lip. I sucked in a breath knowing that I was about to lose my composure.

“I’ve got a call I need to get to,” I said, glancing back to wherever Bugger had dragged the food away to. “Are we up for coffee tomorrow?”

She swallowed and nodded. “See you before open?”

“I’ll be there.”

Routine was my saving grace in my life with Georgia. It could be once again through whatever the hell it was that we had moved into between me and Mandy. I could set a routine and keep to it if it meant that we could share a space. If we could share a love.

Amanda POV

When I left Jake’s house, I made it to the bottom stair of my building before I had to sit down. It was like all my breath, all my blood, all my fight had been leached out of my skin. I left my entire being with him in hopes that he would use it to keep himself strong. I left nothing for myself. My body was racked with sobs so painful I thought for sure I would disappear into the ground.

Instead, my cries softened. My pain sunk deep within. A single word stuck me - yet. I could not be Jake’s - yet. I could not openly love him - yet. I could not show the strength that he imbibed into my flesh over the week - yet. I tucked the three letter word into my spirit and branded it in my mind. Something so small could be just the armor that I was going to need for the fight that was to come.

Monday morning thankfully was quiet. In the evening, over a lovely cup of tea, I started to put all of Roger's clothes, neatly folded, into a large shipping box. His personal items, the bank and credit cards, all the important papers between us went into the singular box. I took down all the pictures of him and us together and emptied out the frames, leaving the photos on the table. I scoured the apartment, erasing any evidence of Jake’s presence from both the physical space and myself. I hid away my feelings - both the hurt and the love.

Though I was half of myself, I forced myself to move. I forced myself to do what I expected of myself. I was in the shop for each group and customer. I presented my smile and professional self, all the while, my spirit was weeping. I noticed that Jake was not next door. My concern, however, had to be buried with everything else.

Thursday rolled around. The morning’s poetry reading thankfully went quietly. I took the leftover danish into Martin’s, moreso as a way to see Jake, but to my surprise, Josh was manning the counter. I caught sight of Mr. Henry in one of the practice rooms with a client.

“Amanda,” Josh said warmly as Bugger practically ran him over to grab the tray I held. “It’s good to see you.”

“I - I’m sorry, Josh. I wasn’t expecting you to be here,” I said, my eyes scanning for any sign of Jake.

“That’s okay. Jake’s been sick,” he said quickly, his hand coming down on my arm with a comforting pat.

I could not hide the urgency in my body as his words stuck my ears. “He’s okay, right? I mean, nothing serious?”

“Just a bad bug. I’ll have him back on his feet soon,” he said with a flash of a smile. “You doing all right there?”

“Oh,” I squeaked out. “Yeah. Just. Rough day. I better get back.”

At that point, I notice that both Bugger and Meg are watching me from the counter. I waved and headed out, hoping to god to regain my composure. Jake. Sick. It had put a crack into my composure. I needed to fill it with concrete. I needed to shut off the worry and just…

When I returned to the shop, I noticed that Mick was looking confused at the counter. “You all right?”

He nodded as he cleared his throat. “Uh, Roger just told me that you are head upstairs.”

“Mick,” I said, moving directly in front of him, “what did he say exactly?”

He grew even more uncomfortable, unable to meet my eyes. “He told me to tell that bitch to get her fat ass upstairs.”

Involuntarily, my lips rolled between my teeth. The embarrassment on the man’s face was hurtful. I reached out and touched his arm, just a brush of fingers. “Thank you. I’m sorry he did that.”

“I don’t think you should go. He was really angry,” he said quietly.

I nod before I place one pat on the counter between us. “It’ll be fine. Really.”

I did not allow the blaze of my anger show as I smiled and headed for the back door. I took a moment to notice that at least no one else was in the shop to hear what was to come. I walked the steps, noticing that the door was ajar. He had found what I had done. I could hear movement, but could not discern what he was doing. One more breath. One more thought of…

I pushed the door open to find that he was pulling everything out of the box that I had so neatly packed for him. His eyes flashed at me with absolute fury. I leaned against the doorframe with no intent of closing the door.

“What the fuck is this, Amanda?” he raged, digging out his clothes.

“Your things. I got them ready to go to your home. Your home with Lydia,” I said, keeping my tone level and calm.

He straightened. His eyes darkened with threat. “Get in here and close the damn door.”

“No,” I said, making sure to keep my body still. “I should tell you that my employee downstairs will be contacting the sheriff’s office if this gets out of control.”

It was not a lie. The way I left Mick, I knew that he would be on alert. I realized that I felt strong. I felt strong in this man’s presence that had made me feel like I was only part of his shadow. I folded my arms across my chest and decided to remain right where I was.

“This is ridiculous. Get in here and get my shit back to where it belongs,” he said sharply.

“No. You will be removing your stuff and getting out of my apartment. You are not welcomed here.”

A flash of memory. A flash of Jake and I laughing across the kitchen table that all of his stuff was cluttering up. A warmth filled me like I was finally moving in the direction I was always supposed to be moving in. I just needed to trudge through this maze, this obstacle course that was stretching out before me and Jake would be waiting for me on the other side. The prize that I so dearly wanted.

“If you think you can leave me -”

“I’ve contacted a lawyer, Roger. This - this bull shit of a marriage is over. I’m done.”

“You can’t be serious. Mandy - that girl you talked to was lying. I don’t know this - “

“I’m not an idiot, Roger. I will not be treated that way. Not by you, not by anyone. You have made it abundantly clear that you hate it here. You don’t like my shop. You don’t like my life being here. This is where I am and where I need to be. I’m done. I’m done with you playing my husband for thirty days of the year.”

His mouth twisted as he stared at me. “So I’m right, then. You’re already fucking someone else.”

“No. Not that it matters, Roger. You have never been faithful. Our entire marriage-”

“I’m a man. I’m on the road. I have needs, Amanda.”

“You had a wife at home to provide for those needs. You chose to do otherwise. You chose this path. And I’m done walking it.”

“Don’t think that I’m going to make this easy.”

I shrugged.

“Don’t think I won’t take this place from you, you bitch. When I’m done, you’ll have nothing.”

I shrugged. It wasn’t my job to make him aware that it was not mine. It was in a family trust that belonged to my family. Protected. I had scoffed when my father suggested this step, and then my lawyer backed it up. I thought it was an unnecessary step. And yet, I did it because a tiny voice said what would be the harm of taking that advice. What wasn’t protected, I was quickly finding I did not care. My lack of emotional response only infuriated him more. I forced myself to keep cool. I continued to keep my distance. Little snippets of my interlude with Jake played behind my eyelids. The loud laughter, the softest of touches. It was like he refueled my skin, and recast my armor. I could do this. I could survive this fire that the man before me would cause.

But then I returned to the minutes before. Jake was sick. My heart constricted as I silently watched Roger shove the items removed back into the box carelessly. I offered to ship the box wherever he needed me to, to which he just glared at me. I was going to have to have a long conversation with my parents. I was going to have to talk with my sisters. My brain was making lists of what I needed to do, and yet, my heart wanted nothing more than to go to Jake.

Roger nearly threw the box over the railing as he huffed down the stairs. I followed at a distance. Before he could open the backdoor to the store, I stopped him.

“The key. I will be needing that key back,” I said, keeping my voice void of feeling.

I watched as he yanked the keys from his pocket and threw them at me with intent. I let them fly past and he bumbled through the store. Poor Mick was standing with a customer in the mystery section, his face blanching of color. I caught his eye before I went behind the counter to fetch the yellow pages. A quick call to Mr. Peterson, and I was on the schedule to have all the locks of the building changed before the end of store hours.

I was on my way. I had finally been strong enough to take those steps that would allow me to grow my broken wings back. I apologized to the two pairs of eyes that watched me before I excused myself with the promise to be back after lunch. I grabbed the discarded keys on my way back into the apartment. I closed the door behind me to just take a moment to digest what I had done. Echoes of Jake continued to pull me through the minutes bobbing through the wake of Roger’s departure. The memory of him shoving the couch to the side so we could dance stupidly and fall against each other in a moment of heat and passion made me calm.

I put the kettle on with a smile. I breathed out an embarrassed laugh as the next thought struck: Jake setting us up with coffee and pancakes when I had been so thoroughly fucked into the matress that I couldn’t move without laughing hysterically. Yeah, he had been proud of himself that morning. He was humming Cheap Trick and the swagger was oh so real.

Friday arrived and life continued. Jake was still not in his shop, but neither was Josh. Mr. Henry waved and accepted the coffee that I had brought. Sam waved from behind the counter as he was talking with Bugger. Sparrow was busy that day and just when I thought it wouldn’t get busier, it did. It was all right though - it made the day go that much quicker.

Saturday morning there was a tap on my door, well before it was time for the store to open. I was surprised to find Josh on my stoop, waiting with a warmth plastered to his mouth and concern etched in his eyes.

“I brought breakfast,” he said, holding up a little pastry bag from Blaine’s. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

“I happen to have coffee, come on in,” I said after a few beats. “You’ll have to excuse my mess… Been a little crazy around here.”

He barely glanced around as he took the seat at the table I pointed to. “It’s quite lovely up here isn’t it? It’s very calming.” He paused, his eyes tracing over the shared wall of Martin’s Music. His eyes rolled closed as he chuckled. “Probably not so calming when there’s a band up here though, is it?”

“Your brother is very strict about the schedule. Of course, that didn’t happen until I threatened to kick his ass after the first time I was in here with some garage band with way too loud amps and way too late,” I laughed as I sat down with him. “Of course, he might have just been afraid of the Siouxsie Sioux t-shirt and bed head.”

I was graced by one of his infamous belly laughs that set the air between us to a comfortable level. He set out fresh apple turnovers before me with a grin. The fact that he remembered warmed me. We had had breakfast way before I left for college and the three of us just about turned ourselves inside out on these down at the diner. I believe we cleared the case and Cindy just obliged to keep them out of her own mouth. He took the first bite, letting out a groan of delight.

“Lord, I’d be like three hundred pounds if I still lived here,” he complained through a mouthful of apple.

“Well, there is a reason why these are only available once a week now,” I pointed out. I took my own bite and breathed through the amazingness of the pastry. I knew he was stalling. Totally not a Josh move. A sip of coffee, a bite into my lip and I sat back in my chair. “Is he okay?”

He shrugged. “He’s not sick. I’m sorry I lied, but it’s our cover story.”

“I thought as much.” But that was a lie. I was scared. Jake never missed a day. “Well. I had hoped, really.”

He gave me a sideways stretch of a smile. “I’m worried, that’s why I’m here. There’s only two people that put my brother into this kind of tailspin - Liam and you.

“I had to watch him fall apart with Liam. He had made so many sacrifices for him, Mandy. He had lost so much weight I was afraid that he was going to be ill in the worst way. He was giving her everything and it didn’t make a difference. But you -”

He was shaking his head as he pushed himself back from the table. “There are only two people that he would literally bend himself inside out to protect. Do you understand that? Two. I’m worried that you are walking a road that is going to be torture for him to have to watch. Do you understand me?”

“What did he do?” I whispered the words, knowing that Jake had tripped into a hole because of me. Because of my words and actions.

The hesitation returned. I watched him swallow down a gulp of coffee. “He will be fine, Mandy, that’s what is important. I’m not going to lie though, he’s fragile. He was finally beginning to stand on his own - truly on his own, just taking care of himself after the divorce. It’s been good.”

My heart tripped. My spirit faltered. I knew what he was asking of me before he got to the words. I was going to have to get through this trial without Jake. I released a burning breath as I hid behind an interested gaze.

“I am worried. You see where I’m going with this, Mandy?”

I nodded. “I was trying to figure out how… I mean. His friendship has been so very important. I don’t think I can move through this without it.”

“I am not saying to disregard him completely. But he needs to heal more - on his own. Just as you are going to need to, as well. There may be a day where it is possible,” he said with a nod. “You two seem to always find each other. It just may not be in the manner than you think.”

My lips rolled into my mouth as I stifled a sob. Josh was sure that we were wrong to be together. He reached out and laid a hand on my arm. A touch that was meant to be reassuring, comforting. And it burned like hell. I chewed the inside of my cheek as I fought again saying anything. I knew he was right. He was so damn right about it all. I had had my chance. Jake had…

“Accept it for what it can be, Amanda.” Josh stood up, his touch still heavy on my arm. “Friendship is about the only thing that is fine between you at this point. Accept it.”

I watched as he left, leaving my heart in shreds. In less than thirty minutes, he had taken every stitch of strength that Jake had given me. I breathed into my empty apartment. I was going to have to do this without Jake.

Chapter 10: September, 1990: Jake POV

My precious week with Mandy had been erased. I would wake each morning haunted by the love that we had shared. My heart would bleed out as I tried to stuff it back into my chest so that I could carry on without her as a normal human being. I had survived the summer tourist season. We had fallen back into our routine - I would meet her for morning coffee. I would keep to safe talk, topics ranging from her book readings to my sponsoring the summer concerts in the park on Thursday nights. With the Autumn Street Fair approaching, I worked on the committee to help plan and organize the event just like I had in years past. This time, with the addition of Mandy, our time worn event got some fresh perspective.

Josh pretty much ordered me to go out and date. Jeanette, the sweet soul that she is, had called to invite me to dinner, but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t shutting myself away. My wounds were too deep to find anything but a false smile. So, like when I was surviving my time in my marriage, and after the divorce, I fell into routine. I woke, I worked, I slept. It took three months just to be able to go out for beers with Bugger and Meg. I pretended that my time that I had felt the most free never happened. I pretended that Mandy did not reside under my skin and within my very being. And it was killing me to have to watch her struggle.

I could hear the frustration she was living through. Roger was making her life hell, fighting the divorce every step of the way. She had grounds of infidelity. She had grounds of neglect. But apparently Roger was able to procure a better lawyer who was making every day a nightmare for her. She admitted to feeling like her every move was being watched. She was convinced that Roger’s lawyer had someone watching to record any interaction with friends, family - men, women, it did not matter.

By the first of October, I had begun to feel strong enough that I could stand in Mandy’s presence and still be okay. I started to go out with Henry and Ada, Ronnie and her husband, David. I was like the kid who was just learning how to roller skate - holding onto the wall for dear life because I was afraid to fall on my ass - again. I started meeting for beers with a few of the soccer dads a couple of times a month. Before I knew it, the holidays were storming through in the typical chaotic manner. Josh and I were having a drink at Miller’s when Jeanette was walking in with a group of friends. It was not lost on my twin that she had once again caught my attention.

By the end of February we were dating fairly regularly - once again, not exclusive. And it was enough. I felt like I was returning to that person that I could be while I watched Mandy grow thin and weary of her situation. I did all I could while remaining at my distance, to support her, to love her.

Jeanette was kind. Josh pointed out in our phone calls that I needed to ‘do right by that woman and make it serious’, but in truth, she was setting our boundaries. I know. I know, but it’s true. She was on the same plane as my own, broken by experience and unsure if she really wanted to share that deeply with anyone. So really, we were each other’s support system. A way to have that human contact and interaction without the intense emotional tethers that were required for a serious relationship. And it was better than trying to shack up with Tessa again. That woman… just no.

We survived the rest of winter and the spring thaw without too much drama. Jeanette and I were spending weekends away after discovering that we actually traveled together very well. I felt healthy.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to see you right now, Georgia,” I had said, trying not to let my impatience show as I shuffled papers across my office desk as a way to keep my hands busy.

Georgia had called out of the blue. It had been years since I had heard her voice and I was fine with that. I had moved on from what we had and healed, mostly, from our time together. My hands came to a full stop when she fell silent and I found myself listening to her breathing across the receiver for a long moment before she continued.

“I know you’ve heard this from me - many times, Jake,” she said, her tone even and present. “I’m trying. Really trying. I’ve been sober a full fifteen months this time. I’ve been trying to… I’m trying to really do it this time.”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. This was the same conversation that I had heard too many times before. The only difference was that the hurt that once had been attached to her words was absent. I blew out a long breath and was shaking my head like she could see my answer across the phone.

“Jake, I need to make amends,” she whispered. “There are things that I need to say to you - for you to hear from me. You owe me nothing, and I get that. I do. But I think if I allow myself to just-”

“Allow yourself? Do you hear yourself right now? How absolutely selfish that sounds, Georgia?” I let the words go before I thought them through. I was once again buying into her game and I needed to just stop.

“Sorry. Sorry. Really. I don’t mean to sound selfish.” I could hear the tears in her voice and I forced myself to soften. “Please. Just give me a half hour of your time. It will be good for both of us, Jake. Please? I can meet you after your soccer practice at the park. You still do that, right?”

June first and I had my team running their asses off up and down that field starting at eight in the morning. Each and every one of those kids loved it, too. I had brought out the big box, booming music across the grass. I let them pick the day’s band and I supplied the tunes. I noticed Georgia waiting at the edge of the field. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, looking too thin as her blonde hair fluttered in the wind. I could have been kind and wrapped up practice on time, but the kids were having too much fun, so I let it run over by nearly twenty minutes. The parents were joining in at the end, their smiles wide as they bounced around with their children.

To my surprise, she waited until after I had cleaned everything up and packed the car before she moved towards me. Her dark eyes were clear and healthy. Her smile was honest.

“Thank you for seeing me, Jake,” she started, her voice even and strong.

I nodded once, my guard up and locked tight.

“Do you want to walk, or sit, or…” she laughed nervously.

“Just say what you need to, please,” I said as I folded my arms across my chest, wary of what was to come.

“Right to it, then,” she said, hands sliding into her pockets as she let out a nervous laugh. “I wronged you from the start. I know this is going to be hard to hear, but Liam…”

I swallowed hard. My eyes flattened as I looked at her. “If you’re going to tell me that Liam was not my son, Georgia, I already know.”

She flinched. “When did you know?”

“I don’t know - maybe I started believing it after one of the several dozen times you begged for his ‘real daddy to stay’, or if his ‘daddy was a better man he would’ve stayed’?” I did not attempt to hide the heat of anger that was spiking in my brain.

“If things would have been different… If he was still here,” she was struggling, faltering across her words like the only thing that could save her was a drink. I knew it. I knew that stammer and that look of need too well. I slowed down, she did not need to be provoked. “If he was still here, Jake, you would’ve been his daddy no matter what. You would’ve loved him-”

“I love him still, Georgia!” I shouted, all my venom leaking through my mouth with bitter accuracy. “I was there in the hospital. I held him. I touched him and sang to him every moment that he was with us. He’s with me every day. Every day! Do you hear me? I talk to him, sing with him. My son. No matter what.”

She wiped at her face. I wiped at mine. The rage was not simmering down as it normally would. It pulsed through my veins at a dangerous pace. I needed to walk away. I needed to just be rid of her presence.

“If that’s all you have to say, I’ve got to go,” I said, digging in my pocket for my keys.

“Jake, stay,” she said through her jagged breaths. “That's not all.”

“The fuck,” I growled, unable to hide my emotions.

I watched as she shored herself up while I felt my whole foundation begin to crumble beneath my feet. Her eyes turned to the ground for a long moment like she was gathering her words.

“I listened to you talk about your Amanda all that night,” she said quietly. Too stunned, I found my chin sliding forward so my ears could hear better. “How in love you were. How good of a man you were. I knew I was pregnant. What you all didn’t see was I was in full panic that whole night. Clint had left me the day before once he knew about the baby. I knew I couldn’t do this alone.”

She paused. I felt like all my air was being wrung from my lungs as I tried to keep my focus.

“I knew you would be the kind of man to take responsibility, Jake,” Georgia said, her voice warbling across each syllable. “I watched you leave the party. You had had too much to drink. I made sure of it. I helped you out of your clothes and got you into bed. We never had sex, though. You blacked out. It was so easy to make you think otherwise.”

Shock would not begin to explain what happened in my system in that moment. My world gave way as my knees buckled beneath my weight. A sound emitted from my gut that came close to the pain of losing Liam. It was a sound that carried the loss of a life that should have been. It carried every ounce of dreams and hopes and wishes for a life that was concrete and real and full of love and possibilities. A life with Amanda.

Georgia knelt down beside me and my broken frame. She tucked her hands in her lap. There was shame and remorse etched across her breath for what she had done. We cried together, but for different reasons.

“Jake, to say I’m sorry is not enough,” she whispered, her back bending because of the pain she had caused. “There is no excuse other than the fact it came from a place of absolute fear. I was so desperate-”

“You fucking took my life,” I mumbled. I stared at a blade of grass as my brain tried to clutch at the devastation that had been put upon me. “You didn’t just do this to me. You did this to her. You did this to hurt her. And I was faithful. You made me believe that I hurt her. That I fucking broke our relationship. I…”

The breeze against my flaming skin did little to cool me. Georgia sat with me as I tried to put two words together that would make a lick of sense, to make what she did okay. But it was so wrong. All of it. Quiet tears leaked from the corners of my eyes and I could hear her beside me stifling sniffles. My eyes shifted to her, honing in on the guilt that bubbled from every pore of her. There was no fix. There was no repair that could ever return me to my path that should have been.

“I don’t ever want to see you again,” I whispered, my voice void of me. “Do not call. Do not come back here - at all. If you were looking for forgiveness-”

“I was not looking for forgiveness,” she said, her voice quivering. “I was only looking to give you a truth that has tortured me for all this time. Maybe give you back a piece of you that you thought I had ruined. This is the amends that I extend to you, Jake. Somehow a way to forgive yourself. To-”

“You didn’t just ruin me. You obliterated everything. How is that giving me back anything?”

She blew out a soft breath. “I said that wrong. What I mean was that you were always a good man, Jake. You were always good. I know what you thought you had done to Amanda, how you thought you had broken her trust…” She let out a fractured sob as she shook her head. “You were always hers. Mine sometimes. But you were always hers, Jacob.”

I watched as she stood. My body fought against my wish to rise up with her but I did. I held my arms out to her. It was not forgiveness. It was acceptance. I hugged her for a moment before letting her go. I moved my feet towards my car and did not look back at her. That book was closed. It will stay closed this time.

Amanda POV

If I thought that I was lonely before, I was sorely wrong. The absolute isolation was crippling as I began my filing for divorce. My lawyer, Mr. Upton, was very good, very empathetic. But Roger’s lawyer, Mr. Roburn, was more expensive with more resources at his disposal. Sparrow, of course, became the first point of contention. Roburn argued that it was my original plan to leave Roger, hence my reasons for placing my store into a trust. Mr. Upton, utilizing all fiscal records and legal precedence, that regardless of reasoning, the shop did not belong to me, but to my family and was not a joint asset as Roger had assumed. Of course, then it was argued that I had used my husband’s money for the down payment of the building…

Back and forth. East and West. Round the circle once more. Roburn’s whole strategy was to wear me down. Mr. Upton, on the other hand, stayed in step with the correct argument that kept me protected and Sparrow in my hands. Then came the implications that I had been unfaithful. Pictures were presented of me having coffee with Jake, along with Mick and Robin, Bugger and Meg. It was totally innocent of course, but it led to other pictures where I was talking just with Jake. That was an uncomfortable conversation with Mr. Upton - one where I was not truthful.

Jake was called into a deposition by Mr. Roburn, to which it was suggested, as well as pictures shown, that I had an ongoing relationship with him. Jake explained that we had had a relationship over the summer of 1981 and that we were merely close friends. He then pointed out that the pictures that were showing just me and him talking were actually just a zoomed in photo of the previous ones, in his music shop with plenty of others present.

He had become distant. It was fine. It was enough that I could still share a space with him as I struggled my way through my day to day. The nights were hard. Too often, I tried to manifest him to be with me. Be in my bed holding onto me so that I might not fly apart. But he never came to me.

I retreated. It was all I could do. I kept my social circle to my family only. My parents were beside themselves and were absolutely stunned as my dirty laundry was being dragged out for everyone to see. They let me cry about it behind their closed doors, though. I came to realize that it was not just me that was the topic of Frankenmuth’s hot gossip tongues, but my family as well. It was gross and wrong, but I had to just keep my head up and live through it. I had done nothing wrong to warrant such loose tongues.

As the weeks passed, I watched from the sidelines how Jake healed and returned to his life. It was nice to just be friends again, to talk and laugh. It hurt when I was out at the farmer’s market with Jenni and her little boy and I saw him with Jeanette Williams. He did not see me. His whole attention was on her. At first I was anxious, my skin feeling like it had been stomped on. But then… I stilled and watched as he smiled at her. Really smiled. His whole body was relaxed and at peace. And it was not because of me or my presence. Jeanette had been in Ronnie’s class in school. She always had a reputation of just being kind. I knew she had always been well liked. Perhaps it was something that nurtured him in his time of need without me…

What a selfish thought it was and I knew it the moment that it struck. I tried to move away. To allow my nephew to tug me towards the homemade candy, but I chanced a glance back to see what had been there a year before - happy. Jake was happy. There was no denying what I saw because it was so lovely to see.

The months lingered on like the calendar refused to shed its days and weeks in a timely manner. It hurt. Everyday there would be a call regarding this or that from Mr. Upton. I watched as those around me seemed to move with such life. With such pleasure. I was rooted to my spot. Not allowed to drift amongst the stars or through the leaves that scattered across my path. It was truly the first time that I had no idea what my tread would look like when I emerged from this blackened tunnel that I had found myself wandering through.

My Sparrow was my salvation. No matter what - she was there providing my steady company and sure footed companion that continued to grow and evolve and bear fruit under my care. I could hide amongst her books and hold up new ideas that would take on a life of their own for those who entertained such fancy things as the offerings of a soon to be divorcee’s book shop.

Yeah. The opinion I entertained of myself was pretty low. I was not coping well with all the punishing gut punches that the divorce was dishing to me. It was not like I was asking for anything other than for my marriage to be over. I did not want his money. Roger was very, very comfortable. He worked hard to be so comfortable. I did not deny that. I had worked excruciating hours at Franklin and done well, myself. I did not care that a portion of my funds were still residing in our joint accounts. I would have gladly given him it all just to walk away. During mediations, I even blurted out the fact that I wanted nothing. I questioned why he was dragging his feet on the matter. He had another woman. He had not one, but two kids with her. In the wake of the silence that followed, I excused myself with the last bit of what he had done to my body against my own wishes. Was that not enough to wish to escape that marriage?

August of 1991 was hot. It was the kind of hot where you would shower, towel off and be wet before you reached the bathroom door. It was gross and sticky and smelly and I was wishing for the weather to break. The thunderstorms were coming like crazy, but as soon as one would bring relief, another cycle would start up. The a/c in Sparrow was down. I sent Mick and Robin home and hung a sign that we were too hot to function. I had to wait a few days before I could get anyone out to actually look at the unit. I stayed in the hotel at the other end of the street as the apartment was like a twenty four hour sauna. I watched as my precious books were beginning to buckle under the humidity. I had to invest in a window unit just to keep the moisture from ruining my stock.

It was one of those weeks where I had not heard from Mr. Upton. I was not sure if that was a good thing or not. Perhaps it was too hot in Detroit, too, and he decided to distance himself for a respite from my idiot case. The 14th found me on the phone once again with my a/c man in hopes that he would be there before the end of the day. I had just crossed my fingers when the chime on my door rang out admitting Mr. Upton.

I watched quietly as he pulled a large manilla envelope from his briefcase and held it out for me. “You asked for nothing but the dissolution of your marriage. He has finally given it to you.”

The relief that rushed across my body left me breathless. Sparrow was safe in my care. I asked for nothing and nothing was given. I carefully opened the sheath of papers and took the extended pen from Mr. Upton. His kind eyes met mine for the briefest of moments before he began to point to each spot that required my signature, explaining each passage with a patience that exuded a comfort. On the last page, the moment swelled. I stared at Roger’s huge, elaborate strokes across the heavy paper. He had relented. I licked at my lips before I leaned over once more and slowly scratched my name into the paper that would untie the chain that had kept me locked in place.

I shook the man’s hand and watched as he loosened his tie before leaving the shop. I looked around and absorbed the stillness. I may have wiped a tear or two away. My gut told me to go next door and tell Jake. But my spirit told me to stop. Take in the stillness a little longer. I sat down at one of the cafe tables and just breathed. I allowed my chest to rise and fall uninhibited. I was free.

Instead of telling anyone in the family, I called Mick, followed by Robin. They agreed to take care of the shop and make sure the a/c repair was finished and assure them the bill would be paid upon arrival. I walked up the steps to my apartment and found my bag. Within thirty minutes, I had packed a few outfits and everything that I would need. I jumped in my car and I left Frankenmuth - alone.

I drove. I took breaks at rest stops. I stayed in shitty motels. I had called my parents from some town west of Toronto and assured them that I was fine. I just needed out for a few days. It was the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done, but I drove all the way to Maine, finding a little cottage motel that I stayed in for three days, right on the ocean. It was like all the heat, all the damage, all the injury was relieved. I walked the beach. I drank the sea breeze and fed on the wildness of the landscape. I landed in the bar and got picked up by a very attractive man who said he was on his way out to sea. Didn’t matter if it was true or not. He fucked me sideways and made me cum hard for two damn days.

I celebrated myself for twelve days. I took my time getting home, taking in the first hints of the autumn as I was passing through Pennsylvania. When I got home, I relished it. My parents welcomed me, my sisters laughed with me. It was two days since my arrival back and I dared to walk into Martin’s to find Jake. I knew he had heard the news the moment he looked at me. His smile welcomed me into a hug that my body had been screaming for for months on end.

And he held on. I was sure Bugger and Meg were drifting away from just being uncomfortable, but I didn’t care. I breathed him in and let him hold me while my trials over the past year settled into my bones and across my flesh. It was a victory. It was a victory worth savoring. As he let me go though, I knew I wasn’t ready. I looked into his face and it was a whispered agreement. A ‘maybe’, but not yet.

I’ll see you next Wednesday. 💚

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