Tumgik
#book excellence awards
chicklitcafe · 11 months
Text
Laugh Cry Rewind: A Memoir by Judy Haveson
Laugh Cry Rewind: A Memoir by Judy Haveson Growing up in 1970s and 80s suburban Houston, Judy Haveson is funny, sarcastic, and fiercely loyal, especially to her family, friends, and big sister, Celia. When she suffers a series of unimaginable traumatic events, her seemingly idyllic childhood comes to a halt, changing her life forever. In Laugh Cry Rewind, Judy takes readers on her journey of…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
mrs-jamesbbarnes · 1 year
Text
Seven Kings Must Die had me openly weeping. It didn’t play out exactly like the book (rly not sure what to do with the whole Aethelstan’s secret gay lover/traitor storyline), but I still think it worked out. I started crying when I saw Osbert lead the charge to attack at the army’s flank, because when I saw Uhtred look at him proudly I just KNEW this was heading toward Uhtred’s death. Uniting England made me so emotional, because I know Alfred would have been proud of Aethelstan and reluctantly proud of Uhtred for his part. (Also I’m weirdly attached to/fascinated by King Alfred, both real and fictional.) When I saw Bamburgh’s modern window, I recognized it instantly (I’m a history nerd, and I desperately want to visit Bamburgh so fight me) and I started crying so hard I could barely see.
Overall, it could have been a lot worse, so I’m satisfied.
23 notes · View notes
desdasiwrites · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
31 notes · View notes
smashpages · 8 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
MoCCA reveals its Awards of Excellence winners for 2024
Rebecca Mock, Sofia Warren, Gilbert and Jaime Hernandez, Mark Doox and more took home prizes from the annual festival.
3 notes · View notes
sweetsavageflame · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Category Romance: Elusive as the Unicorn by Carole Mortimer
The most exciting aspects of Adam and Eve—the main characters in Carole Mortimer’s Elusive as the Unicorn—sadly start and end with their names. MILD SPOILERS 😉 The Book Elusive as the Unicorn by Carole Mortimer is another mediocre romance that Harlequin publishers bafflingly honored with their so-called Award of Excellence. Why they chose this ho-hum Carole Mortimer entry when she’s written…
View On WordPress
4 notes · View notes
startrailsiv · 2 years
Text
Things Are Getting A Bit Crowded...
Things Are Getting A Bit Crowded…
…BUT IN A GOOD WAY. An author never knows how a sequel will be received in a contest. Without the backstory presented in the previous book, the judges may be lost or unimpressed, thinking there are too many unanswered questions. All you can do when you submit it is cross your fingers and hope for the best. Clearly, this was not a problem with Return to Dead Horse Canyon: Grandfather Spirits. So…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
4 notes · View notes
meticulousfragments · 11 days
Text
I don’t know if anyone else who follows me has both read the book and seen the movie Poor Things
But I read it this week and watched the movie last night and I feel like I need to talk about it with someone because it’s still rattling around in my head
#visually the movie was absolutely stunning. deserved the production awards it got without a doubt#and some of the changes I really did enjoy#the change in camera and filming style to fit tone was amazing in ways I don’t have the film vocab to fully compliment#making Godwin also somewhat monstrous but also adding the aspect of felicity was something I found so interesting bc he SHOULD becomplicated#dafoe was great with that complication though#and I liked that it was focused more on Bella and not filtered through two different men’s views#(even though I do think those filters were very much part of the point in the book it wouldn’t have worked as well in a movie)#some of the plot streamlining made a lot of sense. making everything in the house feel unreal was a great choice#I do think they made McCandless come off sweeter than I found him in the book? maybe just bc the actor was charming idk#ruffalo was excellent playing a man who Sucks#the Alexandria moment I liked but I feel like beyond that they really glossed over some of the themes of class and healthcare disparity?#Paris touched on it for sure but it felt more present in the books esp with including Bella’s career#and I don’t know how I feel about the ending#I understand making it more hopeful than the book. but what she did with the general I’m kind of. meh. can’t decide#but I also didn’t fully love the ending of the book either so idk how I feel overall#but this will be a story that stays with me I think
0 notes
jjspina · 1 month
Text
WIP - Gateskin Chronicles Book 3 coming along!
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
kamreadsandrecs · 1 year
Link
0 notes
kammartinez · 1 year
Link
0 notes
ibrithir-was-here · 7 months
Text
How the heck is there not more talk about Tanith Lee??
Like my gosh, the woman wrote, according to her wiki, 90 books, over 300 short stories, two World Fantasy Awards, and was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award/Augus Derleth Award and wrote for tv shows.
Like, it's not like she just wrote a heck ton but wasn't very good! She was clearly very good she won awards, and i've read a swath of her stuff across different genres and really enjoyed most of it. I mean that even if not each one has been my cup of tea I can at least appreciate the skill and quite a lot I have truly enjoyed. She's got great prose and style and imagination. Not everything obviously was a banger, but they've all been at least well written, which is harder to come by in writing than you might think.
But nobody ever seems to talk about her?? And I feel like the fantasy crowd on here would really enjoy her stuff. The woman has done stuff in pretty much every genre from what I can see, but I never see her listed on fantasy authors like Clive Barker or Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett or Diane Duane even though she was writing at the same time and has a similar sort of '80s Doing Cool Stuff with Fantasy vibe' I feel like people who like those authors would enjoy though she's very much her own style of author.
Anyway this was really just me putting out a rant that such a prolific and talented author seems to have fallen by the wayside and I think it's really a shame
Heck she even did a witch-queen fighting againt vampire Snow White a whole decade before Neil Gaiman did his phenomenal Snow Glass Apples and it's also excellent, give a look here:
youtube
2K notes · View notes
Text
The BREW Book Awards: Your Way to Recognition and Triumph
The BREW Book Awards: Your Way to Recognition and Triumph - by Kajori Sheryl Paul #TheChrysalisBREWProject #writerslift #ReadingCommunity #WritingCommunity #BookTwitter #awards #BookAwards
Books are our best friends. For us bibliophiles, reading is nothing short of an addiction. Books take us on delightful journeys spanning different timelines and places. From the very comfort of our homes, we can travel the world and meet new people, all with the help of our beloved treatises. So, finding the book of our choice is indeed a cathartic experience. In the modern world, technology has…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
desdasiwrites · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
– Rebecca Makkai, The Great Believers
2 notes · View notes
booksandwords · 2 years
Text
Excellent Sons: A Love Story in Three Acts by Larry Benjamin
Tumblr media
Read time: 5 Days Rating: 4/5
The quote: That first kiss within sight of our classmates changed everything. The surprised gasps of our classmates were like the sound of shackles falling. The snickers and giggles like the sound of a prison door creaking open. Their shocked looks like a match being struck in the dark. The popular narrative holds that being gay but not out is like living in a closet. I can tell you it isn’t. It’s more like living in a prison cell, or maybe a windowless, mirrorless box; you can’t see anyone, not even yourself, and no one can see you. Maybe the joy in that first public kiss was the joy of seeing and being seen. — Maximillian 'Max' Wong
Warnings: death, attempted murder, gun violence, school shooting, suicide (?), violence, religion as an excuse.
I can definitely see why Excellent Sons is an award winner. It is slightly unusual but romantic with Asian drama vibes, and no I don't say that just because of the primary protagonists' ethnicities there are some goings-on that are very drama-like (and I watch a lot of Asian drama). It shows familial love and dynamics (the good and the bad) and two different kinds of romantic love, the selfless and true and the selfish. I'm going to review as best I can but there will be spoilers for the first half of the book. Most of it will focus on Acts 1: Thunder and Lightening & 3: Into the Unknown, the story of Tristan and Max, there will be some writing on Act 2: The Adventures of Testa di Cazzo. My standard quote list will just become a giant jumble of thoughts I fear. Some warnings to keep in mind when looking into reading Excellent Sons... homophobia, death, attempted murder, gun violence I mean Jesus Grace wtf, school shooting, suicide (?), violence, religion as an excuse. Most of these are around Max and Tristan. If you can get past the potentially troubling themes I recommend this.
Excellent Sons is the story of Tristan James and Maximillian 'Max' Wong, we are introduced to them at 16 and 17 respectively. Tristan is half-American, half-Korean, his parents have a 30-year age gap, his father is almost absent and he is much closer to his mother. (He actually is more support for my sons of a single mothers have higher EQ, his father is that absent). John and Grace have something of an odd dynamic. But it's not until later in the book that we find out how odd and why. Max is the son of a single father after his mother died when he was so young he cannot remember her. Ethnically quarter Jamaican, three-quarters Chinese but raised in America. While he was raised by his father, his wife's sisters were there having an input too, Kaleisha, Tianara and Tashelle. Excellent Sons is a story about balancing yourself, your needs and parental/cultural expectation (in particular filial piety). The phrase excellent son/s is key when that is said to Tristan or Max it is a sign of respect, acceptance, welcome and love. Tristan was always his mother's excellent son until he met Max and started to figure out what he wanted in life. He was still an excellent son but that is not how Grace perceived it.
Max and Tristan utilise two tropes wrong side of the tracks and the sunshine and grump trope, a personal fave. The act is titled Thunder and Lightening to honour this. "I liked that all the nicknames recognized us as individuals but also acknowledged our partnership. And I suppose I should admit I rather liked Thunder and Lightning. I was thunder, they said, because I’m always scowling, dark and stormy. And Tristan is Lightning because he is all smiles and glittering light."(Max) Their other nickname was Bam Bam (Tristan) and Poe (Max) from a West Indian neighbour "To get the joke, you need to know Bam Bam is West Indian slang for your butt. Poe is slang for a chamber pot." (Max). Essentially these nicknames show one thing, you don't get one without the other and once they came out they were largely accepted at school and in Max's circle. They really aren't by Tristan's church-going community where he plays the organ. And certainly not by his best friend, Judy. Judy is A LOT she's a 16-17-year-old girl and acts like it. in love with her best friend, she is unwilling to accept that he doesn't want her back let alone his sexuality. There are moments the truth almost comes out.
Grace is furious with her sons relationship. She blames Max for corrupting Tristan, for making her son gay. After trying to break them up through Tristan, Max, John, and Max's parents in any way she can think of, when she gets fails and gets desperate she shoots Max. This causes the families to cope as best they can. They chose to keep Tristan and Max apart, John takes Trisan to Korea to bury Grace in her homeland, then enrols him in a school in Paris. Max moves school. Tristan and Max cannot let go of each other as much as everyone wishes they would find a new partner. Tristan meets Javier a promiscuous, fun-loving, guy about the same age but who has no parental figures at all. Javier is kind of adopted by John to the point where he calls John, Papa. The friendship between Javier is a joy to behold there is no crush or will they won't they or even a discussion between them about them being in a relationship. They just are. They are just gay friends who are closer to brothers. Javier is no threat to Max and that isn't his point, he replaces Judy in the best possible way. He has all the loyalty she should have had.
Honestly, this is just a beautiful and simple enough story of love and loyalty Max and Tristan are loveable, at least somewhat relatable and well thought out. They run on passion. Their first time together is unusual in the pouring rain (and nonexplicit bless the author that knows their limits, also they are underage). How the whole way they come back together is lovely, it suits them. They are older, wiser and just fall back together. All of it happens almost as a fluke or an act of fate. I do like the families, the growth among them and the love. Found families included. It all hits the perfect emotional tones.
Act 2: The Adventures of Testa di Cazzo is legitimately an erotic retelling of Pinocchio and a serious swerve into wtf wierdsville. Testa di Cazzo is our Pinocchio, rather than being a puppet, he's a dildo. He convinces his owner Joseph Collodi (aka the Geppetto character) to give him a body and life, look don't think about it, there is no logic here. Cazzo promises to be faithful to Joseph, what do you think grows when he isn't? Hint, it's not his nose 🍆. So I mentioned that we see two kinds of love in Excellent Sons. Well in Cazzo's story we are shown the side that leaves you alone broken and desperate for what could have been. In Cazzo's case twice with Gad and with Joseph. It's also a more adult story. And shows the sex work industry in its harsh but profitable light. The ending... that's just pain. He's all alone in the world. The only person who may have been his friend is dying or dead. But it is kinda a testament to love in its own unique way.
It is clearly marked as a separate, standalone story. Where the chapters of Acts 1 and 3, Max and Tristan's stories are simply numbered with Arabic numerals and given an indication of the narrator Act 2 has Roman numerals and subtitles. Some highlights from there include "A dildo, my friend, a dildo (Joseph gets advice from Cherry)", "Whole men are more trouble than they are worth (Joseph contemplates getting a companion)", "These were wild and stormy nights (Cazzo falls in with Rent Boys)" and "Cry me a fucking river (Cazzo returns to Joseph)". To add my favourites would put us into spoiler territory. While there are similarities in the writing style you know it is written by the same person, Cazzo has his own distinct voice, mostly because he's quite dim (Joseph wanted him for his member, so didn't really make sure he had brains) and comes across a bit out of his depth. But this, among other things, means there is definitely a clear humour here that isn't in Max and Tristan's intense story with some of its heavy-hitting emotional blows.
Ending this with a collection of thoughts and quotes, these are all out of order.
I played golf until I was nine, when I switched to tennis. If you’ve ever seen Rafael Nadal in tennis whites, you might understand my sudden infatuation with the sport. — (Tristan) What can I say he's a boy after my own heart.
He talked a blue streak. As we walked, he shared random facts and lame jokes; he commented on things we passed and made up entire life histories for anyone going by who caught his fancy. His nonsense soothed me like healing hands. His voice blew like a cool breeze over my burning flesh. His words, caressing fingers, touched and teased me. — (Max) There is something almost visceral in this moment. It is that peace with a person.
I loved riding my bike because it made me feel free, dangerous, as if I were soaring above the clouds, weightless. With Tristan seated behind me, his arms tight around my waist, I felt anchored, earthbound, safe. I found I no longer wanted to soar free. — (Max) This is such an appealing
Sure I’d misheard him, I was about to ask him to repeat what he’d said, when he suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. I can’t say he kissed me; the touching of lips was too hesitant, too afraid of its own power to be called a kiss. — (Tristan) This is their first kiss, kind of. It is so soft and sweet. I particularly like this one or the fear of its own power. The kisses, quite a few of the romance milestones feel like they are written a bit from personal experience. I'm not entirely sure why.
Max handed me a motorcycle helmet. Once I put it on, he fastened the strap under my chin. He climbed on the motorcycle and, turning to me, said, “Hop on.” “Where’s your helmet?” “You’re wearing it.” “But what about you?” “I’ll be fine. My head is a lot harder than yours. Now get on.” — (Max and Tristan) Oh god. Danger Children (Manner of Death) vibes. Because yeah I can see a bit of Tristan in Sorn that story in your head thing. That and Max not so much.
Yesterday,” he said, “a five-year-old boy brought a loaded gun to school and discharged it. Someone could have been killed and no one cares. Do you think anyone—least of all me—cares anything about some nasty little word your pea-sized brain farted out to try and hurt me? Boy, get the fuck out of here! I’ve seen more fearsome creatures than you in my sweetest dreams.” — (Tristan) This to someone who called him a faggot and after one of the earliest distressing moments.
“What the hell prompted that? We weren’t even doing anything.” “You realize gay is not an act of doing, it’s a state of being, right?” — (Tristan and Max) This after aforementioned faggot comment.
• “I understand how you’re feeling,” he said gently, “but I want you to remember this. You are both still alive. Where there is life, there is hope. If your relationship was meant to be—and before you ask, I believe it was—you will find each other again.” — (Neville Wong) Neville is one of the most supportive fathers I've read in a book like this probably ever. A chimney sweep by trade he goes out of his way to get information on safe sex for his son and provides him with the necessary protection. He then gives us lines like this. He's fully supportive and it is quite a thing to read.
“Standing up for my right to love Tristan means I have to do the thing I want more than anything not to have to do. This world—people like you—have forced me to grow up sooner than I may have otherwise. I had to become a man at seventeen to find and hold on to the love of my life, simply because he is a he, because we are both hes. “Having people question our relationship, whisper about, and yes, laugh at us means I have to do hard, uncomfortable things, but I will do these hard, uncomfortable things every day until I don’t have to, to make sure I remain worthy of Tristan’s love.” — (Max) This to Grace. And damn is it a powerful moment. Usually, I would have used this as a quote for the book but those two are so much more important to me.
Nothing makes you grow up faster than death and fame. Now, just a few years into my second decade, I found myself hurtling, headlong and unsure, into adulthood. Into the unknown. — (Larry Benjamin) No the author doesn't self-insert. This is the quote attached to Act 3. But it isn't anywhere else. This is perfect for both Max and Tristan. Especially by the conclusion.
“Come in, come in,” I said. “Don’t mind Sister Mary Catherine here. Her first time out of the convent and this happens.” — (Max - To a bellhop) What can I say I laughed.
“I see you’re still wearing black.” “Hey,” he said, “I wear navy blue now, too.” “What else has changed about you, Max?” “Everything. Nothing.” “I want to know everything.” — (Tristan and Max) I feel this in my Melbournian soul. Give me all the black. I also love the
Music is romance and love and passion and endless possibility; I’d had enough of all four. Math is fixed, predictable; there can only be one answer to every problem. — (Tristan) For someone with a passionate soul this makes me sad. This is one of those few books that I have post canon thoughts on. I want them to be happy. I want Max to make his musical, I want Tristan to go back to making music. I want him to go back to being creative again.
He was leading. He was definitely leading. But if he was Fred Astaire, I was Ginger Rogers, matching him step for step, pleasure given for pleasure extracted, but doing it backwards and in heels. — (Tristan) I don't know why I like this quote so much. It suits them and their harmony, balance.
Did other generations—did my parents—worry about death and destruction when they attended school each day? I wondered idly. My thoughts, as morbid as they were, had at least kept me from worrying about Max. — (Tristan) & I understood their anxiety because it was mine, too. The drills had never bothered me before. Before Tristan. Now I had Tristan in my life, it was different. Everything was different. — (Max) These dual quotes are from an active shooter drill. I like the thoughts. Max's is so passionate, a sign of how fast he is falling for Tristan. Tristan's made me stop and think. His Father who is around 60 may have dealt with a different set of drills, the cold war nuclear bombs. But other than that no not really not to the extent millennials and gen Z have. That constant threat of a shooter, the near expectation that it will at some point happen during your schooling.
Nothing in Excellent Sons is meaningless. Basically, everything is relevant on some level later in the book. I think it might be a book worth rereading to see exactly how blindingly obvious everything is, and how much I missed.
There is so much queer supporting queer here. But the moment on the tram, the ice cream truck and Mrs C. It's all queer supporting queer.
There was a moment when Max woke up and finds out about everything that had happened all I wanted to do then was weep for him For all that had happened to him, all he had lost.
The relationship between Salt and John is done so well. There is grey there. We are definitely lead to believe something but it could have been unrequited.
Tristan's house is house p*rn. It's stunning and I'm want to see it as the author did, as a visualisation of it.
A recommendation if you enjoy Excellent Sons. There are echoes of this in Daryl Banner's When I See You Again. While this only works in two time frames, Banner's follows one couple, Beau and Caleb through their whole life from 5 to 40 and beyond. I couldn't help thinking about the two together when I finished.
One of the questions that is asked by Larry Benjamin (through Max) is “So many people, all trying to do the right thing for the wrong reasons. I wonder—if you are coming from a good place but make bad decisions, does it still count against you? Making a bad decision for the right reason?” “I don’t know.” (Max and Tristan). I've included Tristan's response because while we see it from their perspective, are somewhat emotionally involved in their relationship and want their happiness together look at it from the parents' perspectives. After everything that is happened, everything Max and Tristan have been through at their ages (17 and 18 respectively) isn't everything going to be better if they aren't forced to be reminded of that trauma, not necessarily by each other, but by the whispers? Okay and by each other. And who finds the only person they'll ever love at 16 and 17? Isn't it better to have these joyful memories with this bitter end than for the relationship to blow up and have it all be for naught? It does feel manipulative but they really did just want the best for their sons. Personally, I think the answer to Benjamin/Max's question is Tristan's I don't know.
0 notes
graaaaceeliz · 6 months
Text
I think I know why no film adaptation of the true Dracula tale has been attempted recently: who could make this any better? How on earth would someone take the intensity of this book and the narrative and the epistolary structure and put that into a film? It would be horrendously long.
The @re-dracula audio book is spectacular. The music, the voice acting, the unabridged-ness, their dedication to keeping true to the source material, it all stands miles away from the popular cultural interpretation of Bram Stoker's novel. Is there an award we can put them in for? Some kind of recognition?
Anyway, listening to the 2nd October entry, HOW would we even BEGIN to put all of this on screen? The internal turmoil? All of the emotions?
Just. An excellent book and a genuinely stunning audio adaptation. And a very, very tricky novel to adapt to the screen....
669 notes · View notes
kinanabinks · 6 months
Text
deadly nightshade • two
Tumblr media
18+
months after operation musket, you're growing fidgety. why is bucky denying you after showing you a whole new world of pleasure? you decide to try a new way to get his attention, and it involves a certain blond-haired super soldier.
content warning: bucky x f!agent!reader, mature themes, angst, pining, cheating, fingering, semi-public smut, dom!bucky, objectification, reader and bucky are TERRIBLE with no redeeming factors.
< part one
Tumblr media
Funnily enough, since graduating to Agent, you've been spending less time with the Avengers than when you were a trainee.
You've been trusted on your own with missions in the months that have passed since you qualified, which you're glad for. Most of your colleagues don't have your respect and you can get things done much quicker when you're alone.
"So, I'm sure it's with no surprise, that the award for Most Promising New Recruit goes to Y/N," Nick Fury announces into the microphone, causing most people in the hall to burst into cheers and applause.
You wince slightly, not really a fan of being in the limelight, but you swallow down your nerves and make your way to the stage. Nick places the white badge onto your uniform, and you give him a nod. "Thank you, Sir," You say firmly.
"Keep doing what you're doing, kid," He says patting your shoulder as you walk past him and back off the stage again.
You make your way straight to the bar, not even realizing Bucky's standing there until you get there.
Without saying a word to him, you give the bartender your order. The tension is palpable - at least, on your end. When you and Bucky agreed that Russia never happened, you didn't think he'd actually stay true to his word. You assumed you'd spend a few days apart, acting normal, and then he'd find himself unable to keep his hands off you and drag you into a closet or keep you behind after a meeting.
But he didn't.
He watched on as you qualified for Agent, barely even giving you a congratulatory word, saw as you rose through the ranks, past your more senior colleagues, and hasn't so much as brushed past you.
You suppose it's a good thing he hasn't. You wouldn't have been able to focus so hard on your work and been the youngest person to ever earn the title Special Agent if Bucky had been distracting you, so you're grateful to him for leaving you alone.
"Well done, rookie," His voice chimes out from beside you and takes you by surprise.
Turning to look up at him, you raise a brow. Flashes of the night in Russia fly through your head and you do your best to ignore them. "Thanks," Is your stoic reply. He's given you next to nothing for the past four months, so why should you give him anything?
"I didn't think it would, but it looks good on you," He begins. "Special Agent. You know it took Sharon three years to get that?"
"I'm not Sharon," You remind him, before narrowing your eyes. "You didn't think excelling in my field would look good on me?"
Is that why he's been avoiding you? Do you no longer attract him because you're no longer a fresh-faced trainee, willing to do whatever he says? Was it truly just the power play that got him hard for you - was he just getting off on how in control he was?
"I didn't mean it like that," He says, seeing the cogs turn in your head. "Don't spin this into something dark - I'm happy for you."
"So, what did you mean by that?" You push, not willing to let him off so easily. "You didn't think a young trainee would still be attractive once she qualified? How am I supposed to take that?"
"You're supposed to take it in the way that most of the Special Agents here are some of the most boring, to-the-books people I've worked with," He explains. "Sticklers for rules."
"Who says I'm not a stickler for rules?" You ask with a raised brow. "You haven't been on a mission with me since- since I qualified."
There's a sparkle in his eye when he replies. "Rules aren't something you're exactly notorious for following, rookie."
You take your drink from the bartender and turn to leave while uttering, "I'm not your rookie anymore."
Tumblr media
The words he said to you that night still echo in your mind. The utter filth he whispered into your ear, the dark promises he made, the post-orgasm secrets he spilled.
"There's nothing like some healthy competition," Maria says as she stands at your desk. "Fight for it."
"Are you kidding?" Jenn asks her with a raised brow. "You want us to fight for a mission?"
You're pulled from your thoughts - memories of Russia - and plunged into the present. Maria came out to the bullpen and offered you a mission. Well, offered you and Jenn a mission.
"You're both capable, but it only needs one agent," Maria states while the others begin to listen in. "And I can't decide which of you should have it. Jenn, this would be a good boost in your journey to Special Agent. And Y/N, it would be good for you to add this to your repertoire."
"I think me hitting Special is a little more important than Y/N's repertoire," Jenn challenges with a quirked brow. She's grown a lot more confident since making agent, and seems to think she's untouchable. Then again, becoming the youngest ever Special Agent definitely gave you a confidence boost, too.
If it was anyone else, you'd sit back and let them have it. But Jenn's had a stick up her ass and has hated you since the day you met, so you're feeling petty.
"Y/N, your response?" Maria asks, secretly loving the competition between you. "Why should I give you this mission?"
You stand up from your chair and reply bluntly, "Because I'm better than Agent Curson."
A few gasps and stifled laughs are heard around the bullpen, but you keep your face straight. Jenn lets out a scoff. "You're such a fucking narcissist," She utters bitterly.
"It's factually correct that I'd get this mission done more efficiently and to a better quality than you," You say plainly, sick of her shit. "That's not narcissistic; it's realistic."
"Come on, Y/N," Landon says from behind you with a wince. "You're just being mean, now."
"Am I?" You question, taken aback by his words.
"Agent Hill, you know I respect every decision you make," Jenn begins. "But the only reason Y/N made Special so quickly is because she's friends with the Avengers. The rest of us are just as skilled as her."
"What are you talking about?" You ask her with a frown. "The fuck do the Avengers have to do with anything?"
"Oh, please!" She cries. "You leech onto their missions whatever chance you get-"
"That's enough, agents," Maria says lowly.
"I get assigned onto their missions; that's out of my control," You remind Jenn coldly. "The only one I sometimes say fucking 'hi' to while passing by is Steve, so how I'm friends with the Avengers is beyond me!"
"Oh, you're only friends with Captain fucking America?" She shoots back. "Some of us haven't even met him yet!"
"How is that my fault?" You yell.
"That is enough!" Maria cuts in curtly, shutting you both up before she turns to Landon. "Agent Croft, I'm assigning you to the mission. The rest of you, get on with your work."
You and Jenn continue to glare at each other for a few short moments before you grab your phone and turn to leave.
"You can deny it all you want," Jenn suddenly mumbles, making you stop in your tracks. She looks down at you, a cold look in her eyes. "I know something happened between you and Sergeant Barnes in Russia."
Your heart lurches up into your throat. "What?" You sputter. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I'm a very perceptive person. He barely even looks at you anymore, and he rarely ever left you alone before Russia," She says with a dirty look. "Probably regrets cheating on his girlfriend with such a piece of trash-"
"You have no fucking idea what you're talking about," You tell her coldly.
"Sure, I don't," She cuts in with a smirk. "But you do, don't you? You fucked him, didn't you? Slut."
You push her backwards and she's quick to retaliate, grabbing your arm and twisting it. A few punches and kicks are thrown between you before you're pulled away from her, by none other than Nick Fury. Fuck.
"What in God's name are you two doing?" He asks you both with rage in his eyes.
"Sorry, Director Fury," You say through deep breaths. "We were just training."
"Yeah, fucking right," He mutters bitterly, releasing your arm as he glares at you both. "Any more of that shit and you'll both be on desk-duty for three months. Got it?"
"Yes, Director Fury," You and Jenn say in unison.
He leaves with a huff. You walk away from Jenn, not trusting yourself to keep your hands off her if she makes another comment.
How the fuck could she have noticed something went on in Russia? Is she truly that good of an agent that she noticed the difference in yours and Bucky's relationship? Sure, he's barely said a word to you when usually he's all over you, but you didn't think anyone else besides you would have realized.
Fucking Jenn.
Tumblr media
Ever since you were made Special Agent, you can't deny you've felt a little different. As though you should take your job more seriously - which has meant turning down invitations to drinks, and nights out, and office parties. When Steve gave you a pout and said nobody should spend New Year's alone, though, you couldn't help but agree to attend the company-wide party being thrown at HQ. In fact, even some of the employees from Stark Industries are here, including a certain Sergeant's girlfriend.
As soon as the expensive whiskey hits your tongue, you internally thank Steve for dragging you along. Though you aren't a fan of the way a few of the trainees are looking at you as though they only just realized you have tits, it's nice to see everyone who you don't always get the chance to work with.
"And then Cap here walks in, all casual, and he's like, 'I can do this all day," Landon recounts, making everyone laugh.
"You're such a cheeseball," You mutter with a smile as you nudge Steve's ribs.
He holds his hands up in surrender. "I can't help it," He claims.
Suddenly, there's a squeak over the sound system. "Hey, people!" Tony yells over the microphone. "It's almost midnight, and there's nowhere near enough of you dancing right now - grab a partner and make your way to the dancefloor, or else you're fired!"
"Oh, Cap, you know what you've gotta do," Landon says, patting his shoulder. "Take Agent Y/L/N and go dance!"
"Excuse me?" You ask incredulously. It's one thing attending a work party, but it's a whole other thing dancing at it. You don't want to completely lose all the fear and respect you've spent all year building up. "I don't dance."
"C'mon, sweetheart," Steve says, taking your hand. "Let's go."
His tone makes you think you don't have a choice, so you begrudgingly allow him to take you to the dancefloor. A few other couples are already swaying along as the band sings their rendition of A Little Less Conversation.
"Was Elvis around in your time?" You ask him as you rest your arms on his shoulders, not exactly clued up on Elvis or the 40s.
"Nah, he was popular after the war," Steve tells you, placing his hands on your hips as the two of you sway to the beat.
"I still can't believe you were around back then," You say, shaking your head. "It blows my mind."
"How do you think I feel?" He asks with a chuckle.
"You know what?" You begin with a smirk as you look around at all the stares you're getting. "I'm with the most eligible bachelor here. Every woman here wishes she was me. That feels good."
"You know what feels better?" Steve counters with a glint in his eye before he leans in closer and lowers his voice. "Every man here wishes he was me."
Laughing at his claim, you shrug. "I guess that makes us the hottest couple here," You say before frowning. "Wasn't there... weren't you and Agent Carter...?"
His cheeks flush pink and he looks down. "Uh, we decided to just be friends," He says, stealing a glance at Sharon who's dancing with Carol. "We tried, but... it was a little too weird, with her being related to... it was weird."
You nod slowly. "That's understandable."
As another song begins, you look across the floor to see Bucky dancing with Emma. His eyes are already on you as he gazes at you over her shoulder. His look tells you what he's thinking without you needing to ask - he's thinking about Russia. You can see it in the way his eyes have darkened, the lack of smile on his lips. Emma lifts her head and his eyes rip away from yours, and after she mumbles something to him, he gives her a soft kiss.
Maybe Jenn was right. Even though you refuse to admit it to her face, she may be right about Bucky feeling guilty because of what went down in Russia. That would explain why he's been avoiding you - but it doesn't make you feel any better about it.
Sick of how you're feeling, you decide to have a little fun with the man who isn't avoiding you. You spin around so your back is against Steve's front, the two of you continuing to dance. His hands grasp your waist and he rests his chin on your shoulder.
"Now everyone is definitely staring at us," He whispers with a chuckle.
"Good," You say, turning your head to the side towards him. "Think they're jealous?" Think he's jealous? Tell me he's jealous.
"I'd bet on it," Steve mumbles, stroking your hips. "I'm sure you're the subject of most of the other agents' fantasies. And maybe a couple Avengers, too."
"You think so?" You ask, perking up at his words.
"I can guarantee it," He says, squeezing your hip as your ass brushes against his crotch.
Turning back around to face him, you place your hands on his shoulders. "I thought you heavily disapprove of workplace relationships?" You wonder, recalling the HR meeting earlier on in the year.
Steve shrugs with an innocent smile and brings his lips to your ear before saying, "How am I supposed to stop myself from getting hard over you?"
You gasp and hit his chest. "Captain Rogers-"
"I'm kidding," He claims, looking you up and down. "It's the dress. Not you."
"Ah, sure," You tease with a grin, happily taking on the ego boost.
"Listen up, beautiful people!" The singer suddenly announces. "It's almost time for the countdown - y'all ready to bring on the new year?"
Everyone bursts into cheers and the dancefloors fills up.
"I want y'all to grab a partner and give them a nice, big kiss to welcome this new beginning, alright?" The singer orders, causing everyone to break off into pairs.
"Alright if I smooch you, Agent?" Steve asks you lowly.
"I guess," You say casually. "Seeing as I don't have any other options."
"Come on, now," He says with a smirk as he wraps his arms around you. "I'm the most eligible bachelor here, aren't I?"
"Y'all ready?" The singer asks before the lighting in the room dims. "Ten!.. Nine!"
The crowd chants along with him, you and Steve included. You look around at all your colleagues, the trainees, the agents you started with, the seniors who taught you everything you know.
And him.
Your eyes lock with Bucky's again, like moths to a flame. Emma's moving closer to him, preparing to kiss him. You look away. Back to Steve.
"Don't do anything stupid like fall in love with me, okay?" He warns you teasingly as he pulls you flush against his body.
"Impossible," You retort lightly as you squeeze his shoulders. "I have no heart."
"Two!.. One! Happy New Year!"
Steve kisses you deeply, a much more intense kiss than you were expecting. But it's New Year's, and everyone around you is making out, so why the fuck not?
By the time you both pull away, everyone else is back to drinking and dancing. Confetti continues to float from the ceiling and you pull a few pieces out of your hair and cleavage.
"Good kiss," Steve says simply, patting your ass lightly. "Happy New Year, baby."
"Happy New Year, Cap," You reply, unable to deny the flutter you feel in your pussy at his casual use of the nickname.
Stop. One super soldier at a time.
"Drinks," You say, reaching up to remove the stray confetti from his hair. "C'mon, Rogers."
The two of you have a couple of shots at the bar before you feel the alcohol get to your head. Slightly tipsy, you decide to escape to the hallway for a reprieve from the loud music.
While you're fluffing up a fake rose bush by the elevator, you hear footsteps approaching behind you. You think nothing of it, assuming someone else is also pathetic enough to leave a New Year party at ten minutes past midnight, and continue mumbling to yourself while running your fingers through the plastic plant.
"Hey, rookie," His unmistakably gruff voice calls out seconds before his hands are on your hips.
"What do you want, Sergeant Barnes?" You ask, turning your head to the side.
He rests his chin on your shoulder. "Don't call me that," He whispers, slightly whining. "You know what it does."
Ignoring the way your stomach flips, you nudge him with your shoulders. "Get off me, you prick," You mumble, not really trying very hard to get him off you.
"What's wrong?" He asks lowly.
You roll your eyes. "Don't play all coy with me, Barnes," You spit. "You're the one who's been avoiding me. Feeling guilty about what you did?"
"Rookie-"
"Whatever," You utter bitterly. "I don't care what excuse you have. It felt really shitty when you stopped talking to me. We were friends at one point, you know? We had a mutual respect, or at least I thought- what are you doing?"
His hands have slipped under the hem of your dress and are trailing up your thighs. "What else?" He asks you with a mumble. "What else you mad at me for?"
You almost lose your train of thought as he pulls your panties to the side. "Bucky..."
"Tell me," He whispers into your ear.
"You didn't pretend like Russia never happened," You say, your breath hitching in your throat as he begins to rub your clit with his vibranium fingers. "It... things were supposed to go back to normal."
"What's normal?" He asks while plunging a cold, hard finger inside you.
A whimper leaves your mouth as you wrap your hand tightly around his wrist. "Flirting," You breathe out, trying to keep calm. "Talking to me. Touching me... inappropriately."
"Yeah, you miss that?" He utters smugly.
"You're a bastard and I hate you," You spit, your words mostly fueled by the alcohol in your bloodstream. "I hate that you just left me alone after Russia. Dropped me like I'm nothing."
He adds another finger, fucking them in and out of you, curling his digits inside you.
"Fuck, Bucky," You moan, swallowing thickly. "I hate that you're still with her. She's so... boring."
"We have fun," He claims casually.
"Bullshit," You sputter. "And I hate that she doesn't suspect you at all. You should have slipped up - she should have realized what you did."
"Isn't it a good thing that she didn't?" Bucky wonders as he speeds up.
"No," You whine. "It- it shouldn't be that easy for you to stop thinking about me. To stop fantasizing about me - I'm the best you ever had, and you know it. She should know it."
"Cum for me, rookie," He mutters in your ear.
"I hate that you still call me that," You let out between heavy breaths. "I am a Special Agent."
"Cum for me."
"I hate that you're only doing this because you saw me kiss Steve," You spill as the pitch of your voice heightens. "Jealous. Trying to mark your fuckin' territory, you prick."
"Cum."
With a strangled cry, you keel over, cumming hard over his fingers as they curl and scissor in your throbbing pussy.
"That's a good girl," He purrs while you let out weak moans, your heart racing. "Just like that."
You pull his hand out from between your legs and take a few steps forwards before turning to face him. "You're insane," You breathe out. "Someone could've walked out and seen us."
His lip curls up into a smirk and he grabs your hand, pulling you closer. "Well, they didn't."
When he kisses you, you taste Asgardian ale on his tongue. You've only ever had a sip of it before, and all you remember is waking up eighteen hours later with a raging headache.
"You're drunk," You mumble against his lips. "That's the only reason you're here with me right now."
"Not true," He mutters.
"I don't give a fuck, by the way," You state firmly. "I don't care that you've been ignoring me. I'm just annoyed."
He raises a brow. "Doesn't that mean-"
"I'm just bored," You reiterate pointedly. "We used to have fun, y'know? Used to... you'd be all flirty, and fucking..."
"I'm sorry," Bucky says, seemingly sincerely as he places his hands on your hips. His boner presses against your stomach. "I, uh, I guess I've been a pussy recently. I was... scared."
You can tell how difficult it is for him to admit it, so you appreciate his vulnerability. "Scared of me?" You ask him with a frown.
"I meant it when I said I'd never slept with other girls before," He tells you. "I mean, never cheated on Em before. I'm new to this whole sneaking around thing. I didn't know how you'd react."
"For what it's worth, I'm new to it too," You point out. "If you're uncomfortable, it doesn't ever have to happen again, I just want us to go back to how we were before."
"Who said I don't want it to happen again?" He asks, resting his forehead against yours.
Your stomach flips. "Bucky..."
"C'mon, rookie," He utters. "We're good at it. Making each other feel better, I mean. It's just sex; it's not a big deal."
"Not sure Em would feel that way," You say with a raised brow.
"What she doesn't know, won't kill her," He replies casually. "Sometimes, this job can be fucking tough. Sometimes, I need a reprieve, and she isn't always here."
Your heart skips a beat and you shake your head, suddenly aware of what you're doing. "We're bad people."
"We're real people," He returns.
A thump sounds out behind him, signifying that the door to the bar has opened. You take a step back from him and he lets go of your hips. Casually, you rest against the wall, waiting for the person to walk by.
Turning to see who it is, you grit your teeth. Of course.
"Having fun out here?" She asks with a raised brow.
Fucking Jenn.
"Hey, Agent Curson," Bucky calls out to her with a nod. "Just chatting. You know what Y/N's like; she might die if she doesn't get any special attention for too long."
Her eyebrow flicks up. She's surprised he's back to how he was - back to teasingly you relentlessly. Back to flirting with you unabashedly, back to overstepping boundaries.
"Uh-huh," She replies as she continues walking over.
"I like your dress," You say, lying through your teeth.
"Thanks," She says with a nod, looking you up and down before turning her attention to Bucky. "Sergeant Barnes, I believe Miss Green's looking for you."
"She is?" He returns before nodding. "Thanks for letting me know. I'm just in the middle of a conversation with Y/N right now."
Jenn almost looks slightly nervous - as though Emma sent her out to get Bucky and told her not to return unless he was with her. "But, Sergeant, she-"
"I'm busy right now, Agent," Bucky cuts her off curtly. "I'll get back to the party once we're done here. You can go, now."
Your heart races and you do everything you can not to smirk right in Jenn's face. She clenches her jaw before turning and leaving with a half-assed, mumbled apology. Once she's gone, you grab Bucky by the collars and pull him closer to you.
"That was so hot," You utter against his lips. "I can't stand that bitch."
Bucky chuckles, stroking your ass and squeezing it. "I figured that would cheer you up. Still hate me?" He asks with a cheeky grin.
You narrow your eyes before giving him a kiss. "Put Jenn in her place a couple more times and I'm putty in your hands, Sergeant," You admit, as terrible a person as that makes you.
He kisses you again, the two of you making out wildly against the wall. Any second, someone else could walk out from the bar - Emma herself, even - but that only adds fuel to the fire.
"So fucking hard for you," He grumbles as he grinds his boner against your belly. "When you gonna let me fuck your face again, huh?"
You pull back, letting out a soft laugh. "I guess you'll have to wait until our next mission together, Sergeant," You say slyly, raising a brow. "Seeing as I'm just a reprieve for when she's not around."
Bucky grabs a fistful of hair and pulls your head back, making you cry out. "Don't act smart," He grumbles, making your stomach flip. "What are you, huh? Tell me."
You let out a shaky breath before replying, "I'm your fucktoy, Sergeant Barnes."
"That's right," He says with a smirk, thrusting gently against your stomach. "Mine. My little cumdump for when I want you. You bend over when I say so. You suck my cock when I say so. You cum when I say so."
Your eyes burn into his. You don't think you've ever been so turned on in your life.
"That means no playing with yourself when you're alone, unless I say you can," He iterates lowly, before his eyes darken. "And no letting other men fuck you. This cunt," He grabs your mound, making you whimper. "Is mine to fill. This ass," He spanks you hard. "Is mine to play with. These perfect fucking tits," He pulls your dress down suddenly along with your bra, and slaps one of your boobs before pulling on your nipple. "Are mine to suck on. Open your mouth."
You do as he says, never once looking away from him.
He puts his four flesh fingers into your mouth, stretching it out. "This pretty face is mine to fuck," He whispers, sliding his fingers in and out, making you gag. "All mine. Do you understand me, rookie? Say it."
You let out a gargled version of the words I understand around his fingers, making him smirk cruelly. He's got you right where he wants you, and the power rush he gets from having such a strong person broken down like this is beyond anything else he's ever felt.
"That's my girl," He says before pulling out of your mouth and pulling your bra and dress back up. "Now, give me your panties."
Your eyes widen. You can feel how wet they are, not only from your orgasm but from the past five minutes of Bucky's torture - surely he's not being serious.
"Are you-"
"Don't make me ask twice," He cuts in curtly, looking down at you with a firm look.
He watches as you pull them down, struggling slightly to get them over your heels, before you timidly hand them to him. Bucky takes them from you and brings them to his face for a few seconds as he inhales.
"Fuck, you always smell so good," He groans, making your breath hitch in your throat. With a wink, he stuffs them into his trouser pocket, before tapping your hip. "Let's head back in."
Unbelievably horny and unable to snap out of your daze, you shake your head. "I can't."
He knows the effect he has on you, and he relishes in it. "C'mon, Special Agent Y/N. They're waiting for us."
"I probably look a mess," You mumble, still feeling shell-shocked.
Bucky rolls his eyes and grabs your arm. "You look as gorgeous as ever, dumbass, come on. Let's go," He says, beginning to drag you back to the bar before stopping to turn to you. "Oh - and if Steve asks you to dance with him again, do me a favor and kick him in the balls."
Tumblr media
bucky masterlist
follow @kinanabinksupdates and turn on notifications so you know when i update.
buy me a kofi <3
964 notes · View notes