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jedipoodoo · 8 months

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Heavens and Earth Collide (Arc Trooper Echo x OC, Wild West AU)

Notes: my first piece that's solely Yulia and Echo and not through Saachi's POV. I aimed for third person omniscient POV but it's a lot of third person from Echo's POV. Wild West AU, Echo lost his legs in the war and moved to Pabu Creek with his brothers, finding work various work with Yulia's father, a moderately wealthy rancher. Echo's self-esteem issues, heavy inspiration taken from that one scene in the Queen Charlotte miniseries (iykyk) Omega is Megan because I wanted to. Featuring Crosshair and his harmonica as headcanoned by @paperback-rascal

A party at the Secura's was never dull. The rancher had made a good life for himself and his family, and he graciously shared that good fortune with the entire town.

It was Miss Yulia Secura's twentieth birthday, as well as her graduation from nursing college. To celebrate, she'd brought home a couple friends, escorted by her father's business partner, Senator Orn Free Taa, all the way from Washington DC.

Echo didn't like politicians on principle, but he would make an effort for Yulia's father's sake. Rolfe Secura had been kind enough to offer Echo a job in bookkeeping when his daughter left, and Echo felt he owed the rancher a great debt.

"And Orn, this is my bookkeeper, Echo. He's the smartest young man this side of the Missisippi. Nothing gets past him!"

"Ah, so you're the one responsible for our profits!" Senator Taa said, though instead of meeting Echo's eyes, his gaze drifted down to Echo's legs. Or rather, the lack thereof. Senator Taa smiled smugly and chuckled to himself.

"Well, Rolfe, you did always have a bleeding heart for the less fortunate!" He patted Secura on the back, and called for more wine when Rolfe tried to clarify.

"Tell me son, how did that come about?" He waved his champagne flute in Echo's direction, and Echo sat up in the wicker frame of his chair as if he were a soldier called to attention once more.

"I was a corporal in the army. My legs were unfortunate to be in the way of a cannonball."

"Our side, I assume?" Taa raised an eyebrow questioningly, and Yulia stiffened at the callous nature of Taa's comments.

"I served for the north, if that's what you're asking, sir. I served two years in the Union before I was hit. If my brothers hadn't pulled me out I wouldn't have made it."

Taa seemed put off by the insinuation, and mumbled something about "thank you for your service, young man," and insisting that Rolfe introduce him to the mayor.

Yulia shuddered as Taa disappeared into the crowd. The barn was currently empty of all hay and seed, making it the perfect spot to gather everyone in town, at least until the harvest was brought in and the cows had to be sheltered for the winter. But as Echo looked up at his dearest friend (And yes, maybe Tech was right in stating that the amount of letters they sent back and forth made them sweethearts) the candlelight from Missus Secura's oil lamps cast Yulia in a heavenly glow. All the sounds of Shep's fiddle and Wrecker's laughter faded into the background as Yulia turned to look at him.

"I apologize for the Senator. He's...not the most intuitive."

"Strange, then how'd he get to be a politician?" Echo asked.

"Money," Yulia sighed. Echo chuckled. It certainly seemed to make the world go round.

Senator Taa wasn't the first person to ask Echo about his injuries from the war, and he certainly wouldn't be the last, but it bugged him that Senators were supposed to care for their constituents. Taa's whole ulterior motive for coming to Marauder Valley, in addition to escorting Yulia and her school friend home, was to win over more votes in the upcoming election. From what Echo had seen, he was doing a bang-up job of it.

But it was hardly disappointing. Echo had known too many congressmen like that to be surprised by their apathy towards anything that truly bothered people.

But Echo refused to let some bum senator occupy his thoughts much more than he occupied theirs. Yulia was home. His best friend had returned, and he'd missed her.

She's changed from the elegant, slimming travel suit she'd worn when she'd gotten off the train with her wide-brimmed hat and her parasol to keep off the sun. Now her hair was down in their silky braids that moved whenever she talked and she wore a soft blue dress that looked like it was made from the fabric of the sky itself.

"Remember how we used to dance?" Yulia asked. Her gaze traveled over to the band in the corner. The mayor himself was on the fiddle, and then there was the bule and the washboard. Missus Secura had even brought out her piano to be able to entertain as the townsfolk spun and leaped in their best Sunday shirts and their dresses as colorful as the candy in the general store.

"Oh I haven't done that in a while," Echo said, nervously smoothing down the front of his vest with his good hand. Crosshair had insisted on ironing it for him, "Haven't you been learning all that fancy ballroom dancing back east? I would've thought you'd forgotten all about that."

"Oh come on, Echo!" Yulia pulled at his hand, "It's no fun to dance without you."

Echo sighed and stared into her deep brown eyes. It was impossible to say no to her.

"Alright, come on," Echo sat up straight and placed his hands on the wheels, making room for Yulia to sit on his lap. She tucked her skirt up just a bit so that it wouldn't drag and catch on the wheels.

Echo heard the town seamstress whispering with the blacksmith's wife as he wheeled them both into the dance floor. This was the only way Echo had been able to come close to dancing with anyone, and Yulia was the only one stubborn enough to make him do it, despite the scandalous appearance it gave. It was fine once they were on the dance floor, and the chair spun in time with the other dancers under Echo's dexterous steering, but the whispers were hard to get past.

They were always hard to get past.

The other party dancers skillfully avoided running into Echo's chair, allowing him to find a good pace as he rocked the chair back just enough to get it on the back wheels.

"Hold on," He warned, but Yulia was already laughing with her arms around his neck. She squealed as the chair spun and spun, not daring to move and disrupt the balance of the chair. Echo chuckled in her ear as the music picked up pace, but his arms tired and he had to return to all four wheels again.

Yulia's laughter tickled his ear. Her hold on his neck relaxed, but she didn't stand, clearly expecting to dance again.

"Echo!" His little sister called his name, making her way through the crowd with Wrecker as the song ended.

"Heya kid," Echo smiled.

"Welcome back home, Miss Yulia," Megan said. So Hunter was teaching her manners after all.

"Thank you, Megan, It's good to be home."

Megan just nodded, turning to Echo eagerly, "Can I have a turn dancing with you, Echo?"

Yulia laughed at Megan's impetuousness. It wasn't her fault, being polite all the time was exhausting, Echo knew firsthand.

Wrecker tried to let her down easy, "Actually, Megs, I think Yulia was still dancing with Echo."

"Oh, it's fine," Yulia said, still rosy-cheeked from all the laughter as she stood up, "Of course Megan can dance with her brother."

Megan beamed up at Echo, already clambering up onto his lap. How was he supposed to say no? Even if the woman he loved and admired more than anything in the world had just returned from two long years studying in the nation's capital and was standing right there?

Megan hadn't gotten to meet Yulia before she left. Echo and his brothers had only discovered that they had a sister just after Yulia left, and Megan was still being introduced to the town and getting used to how life was supposed to be lived. He could hardly begrudge her a dance, even if it left his arms felling as limp as prairie grass.

Crosshair began to hum on his harmonica, someone had requested a slower song for a change of pace. A few couples vacated the floor, too shy to be caught with a potential lover, but Lyanna, the Mayor's daughter, was asking Wrecker to show her the dance steps the way he'd taught Megan.

Megan got comfortable on Echo's lap, and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"You don't have to hang on that tight, kid," Echo chuckled as Megan braced her chin against His chest to look up at him.

"But I want you to spin me!"

Echo shook his head, "I'm not gonna spin that fast with this song."

"Please?" Omega held the "E" for his benefit. Echo would have warned her to hang on tight, but she already was. He leaned back in his seat again, lifting the front wheels off the ground, and spinning the back two wheels in opposite directions.

Megan giggled, and Echo couldn't help but laugh. Megan had been a light in his life, in all his brother's lives, since they'd found her. Megan's joy and zest for life gave him bravery that he hadn't felt since the battlefield.

He couldn't imagine life without her any more than he could imagine life without Yulia.

Echo glanced around the room. Tech was wooing the pawn shop owner with his knowledge of fancy dance steps, and Hunter was talking with Yulia's friend from school. Maybe he'd actually get a dance out of her, but Yulia had emphasized how stubborn she was, so Echo was a little doubtful.

Echo's chair nearly fell over when he stopped abruptly.

Yulia was dancing with Senator Taa.

She's just doing it to be polite, he told himself. Her movements were stiff, and she was trying to maintain an appropriate distance, but the Senator didn't seem to take a hint.

"Echo, are you okay?" Megan asked.

Echo shook his head, "I'm fine, Megs." He wheeled her around the floor in an attempt to distract himself, and to keep Megan from asking anymore questions.

He wasn't sure what he was feeling. Yulia was his friend, nothing more. He couldn't expect her to give him every dance when there were other men around. Men with all their limbs, who were able to accomplish much more than Echo could, sitting at a desk all day.

Echo would never expect Yulia to give herself to him.

The song ended, and things just got worse. Echo wheeled himself over to Tech and Phee to try and hide, but Senator Taa's voice rang out in the barn, calling for everyone's attention.

"It is has been such a pleasure to be here in beautiful Pabu Creek with all of you. If you would all raise your glasses," Taa was one of the only people actually holding a glass with which to do one of those fancy toasts, "And join me in toasting Yulia Secura to congratulate her on her twentieth birthday."

Polite applause rippled through the barn, and Echo wasn't so totally soured that he couldn't applaud with them. Yulia flushed under the attention, and her mother squeezed her shoulder as her friend from school slipped into place beside her in order to offer her support. Echo's heart gave a little pang, wishing he had the courage to offer Yulia that kind of support. He knew from the way she adjusted her braids that she was trying to hide her face, embarrased by the senator's show, but he just couldn't stop himself.

"A toast to Miss Secura on her birthday, for her exceptional beauty as well as her wit, and many more to come!" Taa's voice boomed. Was he drunk?

People started to talk amongst themselves, thinking that Taa's speech was done, and that the music would start up again, but Taa just couldn't stop himself.

"And on this exceptional night, Miss Secura, I would like to ask if you would do the honor of being my wife."

Everyone froze. The room went silent.

"Huh?" Megan asked. She was, perhaps, a bit louder than was polite, but Taa's eyes snapped to her in a glare that lasted only for a moment before he focused on Yulia again, his hand outstretched as he plastered on his sickeningly sweet smile.

Yulia's face was red as she turned to her friend, trying to look anywhere but at Senator Taa. Whispers echoed through the room as Taa tried to convince Yulia what a perfect match they'd be, and Echo couldn't bear it. He ran over the toe of Tech's shoe as he hurried out of the barn and into the cool night air.

"Wait, Echo!" Megan called after him, but he ignored it. He pushed his wheels as fast as he could despite the ache in his arms, kicking up the dust behind him as he went.

Echo didn't like the raw, hollow feeling in his chest that felt like he was being carved from the inside out. He couldn't even feel his heart beating anymore as he ran.

Yulia wasn't his, he knew it. He could never ask Yulia to be his, to doom herself to a life of a caretaker and social outcast. She deserved better than that.

Even if Taa was a pain in the shebs, he could give Yulia so much more than Echo could.

"Echo, wait!" Yulia cried.

Echo screeched to a halt. He'd wheeled himself out to the river. He was unable to cross, and the ground was too rocky on either side to try and escape.

"Echo!" Yulia gasped for breath as her feet slammed against the dusty ground. Her hands rested on her knees as she crouched beside him.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Echo opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His throat was too dry.

"I... I'm fine..." He gasped.

Yulia sighed, "No, you are not. I saw you leave when Taa proposed."

"You shouldn't leave your fiancé like that, especially with another man-"

"Fiancé?" Yulia asked. She looked appalled at the mere suggestion and shook her head, rubbing at her temples.

"Echo, I refuse to marry Senator Taa not only because he is almost three times my age, but because he is absolutely nothing like the man I want to marry."

Echo rolled his eyes, and something pulled the pettiest of his feelings to the surface of the pit in his chest. "Really? And who would that be?"

Yulia simply fixed him with a focused stare.

Echo's heart stopped.

"I thought it was obvious," Tech's ever-annoying catchphrase echoed in his head.

"No. No, you can't be serious, Yulia."

"Echo," Yulia stared, mustering all the sincerity of her soul, "Echo I love-"

"No!" Echo protested, "No, you can't! You can't be in love with me, you can't!"

"And why not?"

"You shouldn't want me."

"That doesn't change the fact that I do, Echo. I mean it. And you still haven't answered my question."

"You do not want a life with me for yourself!"

"Who are you to decide what I do or do not want!?" Yulia placed both her hands on the arms of Echo's wheelchair.

Echo gulped, his face gaunt as Yulia loomed over him, her eyes unflinching from his own.

Echo shook his head, "I...I can't provide for you. I can't do what a husband is able to do for his wife."

"I can provide for us! Echo, I am a midwife, a doctor. I don't need you to take care of me!"

"It... It's humiliating, the work others have to do for me. I can't ask you to give up a life of comfort to take care of me."

Yulia's face softened. She knelt in front of Echo and placed her hand over his fist.

"You are not asking me. I am volunteering. Not because I pity you, but because every moment I am away from you pains my heart. The thought of living without you..." Yulia gasped as though the air could not reach her lungs, "I can't breathe."

Echo's fist loosened, and before he could back away Yulia laced her fingers in between his and held tight.

"I am used to hard work. Any labor pales in comparison to the joy that comes from being your companion, from being with you."

Yulia's other hand came up to cradle Echo's face. As she traced his cheekbone, a tear leaked out from his eye.

"I love you, Echo. And despite your reasoning that I should not love you, every excuse you have given me leads me to believe that you love me too."

Echo gasped, unable to keep another tear from falling.

"I... I can't...Yulia, you do not..." He couldn't form the words.

Yulia set her mouth in a firm line, but she refused to remove her hand. Echo's eyes darted about like a spooked stallion, but he leaned into her touch, as if her weathered palm were a down pillow.

"If you do not love me, if I am wrong, then I will accept Mr. Taa's proposal."

"You should," Echo's voice betrayed him with a squeak, but Yulia's eyes never left his.

"First, you have to tell me that you do not love me." She said, her voice filled with the conviction of a senator.

"I do-" Her heart stopped for a moment but Echo couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence and her hope soared again.

"I do- I can't -"

"I love you, Echo," She repeated. "Do you love me?"

"Yes!" Echo said without hesitation, "Yes, I love you."

The moment he admitted it, Yulia smiled at him, a smile brighter and with more warmth than the desert sun. It made his heart beat funny, and tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Then Yulia's second hand clasped his face, pulling him towards her, and pulling herself up to meet him.

Her lips felt as warm as the sun. They were as warm as the sun, and as soft as a baby lamb.

Her hands trembled against his cheek, and he used his good arm to wrap around her back, pulling her close to sit on his lap in his chair.

Her nose bumped against his, and she sat back, wrapping her arms around his neck, draping across the back of his chair, to make sure that he wouldn't disappear.

"I love you, Echo Fett, and nothing in this world could change that." She whispered.

Echo squeezed her hip, running his thumb across the ruffles in the floral fabric of her dress.

"I love you too, Yulia Secura," He said, "I love you more than all the stars in the sky."

She tapped a finger his chest, "And don't you forget it," She nestled her head between his shoulder and his neck, and he could feel her steady breathing beneath the cotton of his shirt.

"I won't," He vowed, pulling her closer, "I promise, I won't."

#lizart writes #the bad batch #arc trooper echo x reader #echo x reader #the bad batch echo #arc trooper echo #tbb echo #echo #tbb echo x reader #star wars oc #the bad batch oc #yulia secura #wild west au

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douxreviews · 5 years

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American Gods - ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told’ Review

"Peace is a beautiful, but sh*tty idea."

A series whose intrinsic premise revolves around new gods forming around things that Americans actually worship finally gets around to the most obvious example. Hello there, Money.

Also, Mr. Nancy brings all the real.

Let's just get this out of the way up front, because otherwise the rest of the review is just going to be me marking time until I can bring it up.

Every single word of Mr. Nancy's monologue is amazingly written, outstandingly performed, and should be played on repeat in every single social studies and civics class in the United States until the country as a whole finally decides to do something about fixing things. I can't imagine that it won't be available to view on its own on YouTube within the next 24-48 hours, and when it does you should absolutely go watch it. Over the course of a few uninterrupted minutes, Orlando Jones lays out slavery, human trafficking, the alt-right, systemic violence and institutionalized failure, the school to prison pipeline, knee taking and the NFL, and more. It's angry, and it's powerful, and I expect high school speech competition judges will get tired of hearing it in a few years.

I've been a little focused this season on noting the things from season one that we lost with the transitions behind the scenes, but I've neglected to mention one thing that the new season has really improved. That's the interactions between the Gods themselves. In the first season, that interaction was almost exclusively limited to Wednesday and whichever old god he happened to be making his sales pitch to that week. We saw Czernobog and the three sisters in their home life together, but they were already from the same belief system and closely intertwined. This season we're starting to see how the other gods relate to one another just on a day to day basis, and it's really been great.

Which is how we get to Mr. Nancy's speech, and its context gives it its real edge. Mr. Nancy, Bilquis, and Mr. Ibis have gathered at the Ibis and Jaquel funeral parlor, and have a good, solid talk about race. This is in itself amazing, as television has a pronounced tendency to avoid a real and messy talk about race. We have three African gods, all played by actors of color, two of which seem to have made the choice to let things in America continue as they are, only to have the third one essentially sit them down and say, 'Here is what is happening, what has always been happening, to the descendants of your worshipers. How can you possibly be all right with this? How can you look the other way? How can you let this happen?' That's just not something you see on television. And I could not look away.

Meanwhile, in the A plot, Wednesday and Shadow head out to track down yet another new American God in order to persuade them to join Wednesday's side in the war. This time they're trying to track down 'Money.' Unfortunately, his trio of security girl scouts won't give them access, because Shadow has never had a line of credit, and Money hates that. Yes, you read that correctly. Security Girl Scouts. OK, technically 'Penny Scouts,' so as to avoid getting sued by the Girl Scouts of America. They are selling candy named 'Payback,' because not all of the metaphors in this show are subtle.

And on the other team's bench, Mr. World sends Technical Boy to find a replacement for the recently murdered Argus. TB goes to Silicon Valley to find someone who isn't named by the show, but is the head of a company called Xie Comm, so one assumes his name is Xie. This same CEO is the boy we saw in the opening sequence, playing video games and practicing Bach, until he realizes the link between music and math, programs software to write new Bach-like music, and apparently brings Technical Boy into being to play electronic classical music at his father's funeral. It's actually a really well structured and meticulously pieced together dissertation on the interrelationship between faith, love, music, and numbers, and it works all the better for throwing us into it without giving us any context or information whatsoever. I'm not always a fan of the cold open on this show, but this was really well done.

Technical Boy refers to this man whose name we have to assume is Xie as his friend. What's more, he refers to himself as being Xie's only friend, and we're given no reason to doubt that statement. Which makes it all the more heartbreaking when World shows up, uses New Media to steal Possibly-Xie's attention, and then leaves Technical Boy to die.

Oh, yeah. Technical Boy dies.

I did not see that coming. But we did have an extended discussion with New Media earlier about whether old Media had died or just been reformed, so maybe that was foreshadowing for New Technology. I hope not though, because Bruce Langley was fantastic in a part designed to be unlikable, and it would take away from his shock death if they just brought him back again. "I was literally your only friend..." he says to Possibly-Xie. But it seems much more likely that what is breaking his heart is that the reverse was also true. Goodbye Technical Boy. I spent a lot of time hating you, and then you made me cry for you, and then you died. RIP. Unless of course I read the situation wrong and he isn't dead. Then I'll feel foolish for writing this paragraph.

So, having 'retired a god' in Technical Boy, World gets past the sinister Girl Penny Scouts, and he and Wednesday both sit down in front of Money, or 'The Bookkeeper' as he's credited, to make their sales pitch. Money gives a hard pass to both of them and leaves. Neither Wednesday or World seem that miffed about it, so it was probably more about preventing him from joining the opposition than getting him to join the team.

Quotes:

The Father: "This is Grief. And yet, the rising notes of joy shattering his own rules. Can you hear it?"

Ibis: "Like any formative life experience, death changes you."

Bilquis: "A woman’s heart should never be so hidden in God that she cannot hear her own truth."

New Media: "I wonder if the next version of me will feel me inside of her."

Mama-Ji: "You think America was eager to hand over her moneybags to the hungry, the tired, and the poor? We battle for every goddamn scrap."

New Media via a sign on a wall: "You’re only as good as your last win." Technical Boy: "Eat a giant bag of dicks."

Bilquis: "This country has not been kind to my face." Ibis: "You are as perfect and vibrant as the Euphrates."

Nancy: "Y’all done yet? ‘Cause I’m getting bored watching this bullshit."

Bilquis: "Suffering is not sacred."

Bilquis: "This country has done things to us." Nancy: "We have done things to us."

Wednesday: "I’m gonna win this one. People like me more than they like you." World: "I prefer to be feared."

Bits and Pieces:

-- A note for the pedantic. Yes, technically Bilquis is from Persia, and as such is not technically an African God. However, Ibis greets her as his queen, and he's clearly from Egypt, and Nancy refers to all three of them as African Gods, so I'm going with that read. Besides, our understanding of the Persian Empires geography is far from clear.

-- Is it strange that Jacuel/Anubis wasn't anywhere to be found for the discussion of African God's obligation to fight racial injustice?

-- It's strongly implied that Wednesday was instrumental in getting Bast to have sex with Shadow in his dreams, possibly fulfilling his promise that Shadow would wake up feeling great. That felt gross and robbed Bast of her own agency, which is particularly egregious in her case.

-- On that note, this is a rare case where without reading the book it would have been very difficult to know what the Hell was going on during the sex scene. They sort of half-explain it afterwards, but I don't think I would have understood it at all.

-- The direction of the sex scene was telling. In season one it would have been far more graphic, laying everything on screen in a non-exploitative and almost clinical way. See, for example, Salim and Ifrit's sex scene in 'Head Full of Snow.' Here it's directed much more conventionally, right down to Shadow having the sheet discretely draped over his personal business afterwards.

-- I wish they hadn't leaned so heavily into the Asian father who makes his son practice music thing, but it was really the only way to tell the story of how music and math intersected in the boy's life to create Technical Boy, or at least his friendship with Technical Boy. It's just kind of a tired trope.

-- Speaking of, and just for the record; music and math are incredibly connected. In many important ways they're the exact same thing. A software program that can be taught to understand and recreate Bach isn't unfeasible by any stretch of the imagination. It probably already exists, I haven't googled it.

-- It's a little messy, structurally, that Wednesday got Shadow to the funeral home only to take him away on a day trip right away so that Bilquis could stop by and have an important conversation. That feels like a vestigial remnant from the book, i.e he goes from the train to Cairo there, so that's what he does here.

-- No Laura or Sweeney this week. Looks like they're back next week.

-- It also appears that next week we'll see more of Bilquis' new friend Ruby Goodchild. I liked Ruby a lot. She felt like a real person.

-- The actor playing Money was William Sanderson. You might know him from literally every movie and television show ever made.

A really great episode that leaned into the new regime's strengths as opposed to leaning away from the previous ones'.

Three and a half out of four Emmys for Orlando Jones. Please, can we get an Emmy for Orlando Jones?

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

#American Gods #Shadow Moon #Mr Wednesday #Mr Nancy #Mr World #Tech Boy #Bilquis #American Gods Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

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questionscantaskmom · 5 years

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"Great things in my life”

My mom wrote this to me on September 28, 2016. The title is hers.

This story is an attempt to share with my adult sons and young grandchildren the amazing man that I loved and stayed married to for thirty years, even though we divorced and there was tremendous strife, anger and sadness at times while they were growing up.

I was lucky in love. I suppose I had what every girl wanted, I was pretty, with great, thick, wavy hair, silky smooth skin and I was thin and incredibly shapely at a very young age. I had no idea how many men and boys are attracted to and find it easy to fall in love based on a woman’s looks, but i do see it all the time now. It turned out to be a great advantage because I became social which increased the opportunity to have more dates as well as girl and boy friends in school. I learned what was important to me and it was honesty, respect and a fantastic sense of humor. I loved to laugh.

I was born into a great family, healthy, happy, ambitious and secure destined to live the American Dream. As I grew, it was clear I was the golden child sparkling with greatness, intelligence, beauty, love and adoration!

I had a fantastic grandma and grandpa to lead family rituals, holidays, celebrations and family values. We lived in nice houses in Long Island with good schools near a temple. Mom was very organized when she knew daddy would drop us off at the beach if we were ready when he had to go to work in the morning. We changed into bathing suits as soon as we woke up and waited by the car as they packed up the trunk. Once settled on the beach you would see mommy in her chair under the umbrella, Mona was asleep in the square, wooden play pen that doubled as a crib at the beach. Then there was an Army green wool blanket laid out for me and my sister to sit on to have our lunch. There was a huge cooler that had food for breakfast, lunch and supper plus fruit for snacks. When daddy picked us up at 6 or 7, we went home to take baths and right to bed. It was a wonderful time in my life.

Even though daddy died very young it wasn’t before I learned about his love and respect for family, his generous heart and his pure goodness.

Mommy was not college educated or intellectual but she wanted the best for me. She was proud to be a bookkeeper and be able to do well at her job and she showed great pride when I brought home good grades. However it was Alan who taught me about tolerance, hatred, prejudice, McCarthysm and communism.

I always dressed well with shoes and purse matching, with white gloves. I was polite and appealing.

I started listening to rock and roll in 1958 because my older sister was always playing records. My favorite song was ‘Come Go With Me’ by the Del Vikings.

One extraordinary memory was when Andrea snuck me into a rock and roll show at the Brooklyn Paramount which was a great thrill!

For my birthday, mom brought me into NYC to Radio City Music Hall to see “Please don’t eat the Daiseys” starring Doris Day And The Rockketts! and lunch at Tad’s Steak with baked potato and salad for $1.99!

After daddy died we had to sell the brand new split level house in Plainview with wallpaper and move to a junior 4 garden Apartment on 153rd Ave and 72nd St in Flushing, Queens. There was a swamp behind the apartment and we caught tadpoles in jars.

My mom slept on a high rise in the living room, Mona and I slept in the master bedroom and Andrea had the mini dining room. It sure didn’t compare to our previous homes. What stuck in my head was that my divorced uncle Ali, my mom’s brother had to cosign the lease. There were a lot of things that irritated me in those days. My mom really screwed up sending Andrea to Jamaica High School and that's when I started to grow very angry with my mom. She was selfish, looking for a husband and leaving me in charge of Mona. She never understood or even tried to understand Andrea. It took years till I finally was able to forgive her.

I had a girlfriend whose name was Joanie Costa and we went to see scary movies on Saturdays and once she took me to her church when she went for confession. I didn’t like it at all. It was dark and spooky!

We only stayed there in Queens for third, fourth and fifth grades and then my mom married a toad named Jack Kaplan and they moved us to a house in Valley Stream where I started 6th grade in Corona Avenue School. Jack had two fat children, Andre and Jacqueline, ugh!

I started Memorial Junior High School and was in 7th grade. I made friends easily and all was fine. There were a group of boys that were apparently smarter than the rest of the boys in school and they called themselves the Mafia Judea and consisted of Eric Gottlieb, Gregg Solomam, Bruce Levine and a few others whose names I don’t remember. At that age boys would call on the phone but didn’t say much. I remember going to the movies with Gregg, we loved to laugh and saw Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis films. My friends joined the youth group at The Temple Gates of Zion and we had socials and while I was shy about dancing, my feet went wild to the music of Bobby Freeman, 1958, Let’s Dance and The Contours, Do You Love Me? Because of my friendship with Diane Epstein we also went to the youth group at her temple where Eric Gottlieb’s parents were members too.

When I was 12 and 13 I was allowed to take the LIRR into the city with my girlfriend, Diane Epstein to see My Fair Lady and then go to lunch.

One of my fondest memories of junior high school was when I took it upon myself to write a bold, blunt and scathing letter to Mr. Fernandez about his unprofessional behavior in 7th grade Spanish as he verbally tortured Barbara Weiselman ruthlessly. I’m not sure if I knew or even worried that the persecution would then be turned on me, but it didn’t make me cry.

Several of the teachers hit on me. I was disillusioned. It wasn't long before I saw that will happen over and over throughout life.

Somewhere between 9th and 10th grade we pledged for sororities and had socials with like fraternities. I remember Jeff Gottfried, a football player, Alan Pollack and Larry Landis who really helped me get through algebra homework. I remember having lots of dates, going to parties almost every weekend. I had one boyfriend who picked me up from school in a convertible and drove me into NYC to see a play. I had fun in high school, I thought I was popular enough, I thought I knew everybody, and I thought they liked me for who I was, not what I looked like. I know that I was pretty and thin, but I like what my friend Bobby Davis said, “she was a stunner”.

The summer of 1965, a very magical summer for me, I was sixteen and I came up to Suffern, a place I had never heard of, to be the mother’s helper to a family from Queens, to help with a two year old boy in a stroller and a 4 or 5 year old girl who went to Deerkill Day camp.

I was in Valley Stream Central High School, in a Jewish sorority that had events and socials with fraternities at Brooklyn and Queens Colleges. Lucky for me, boys found me attractive and I had a lot of dates, dances and socials filling up the weekends on my calendar, and who wouldn’t mind the attention. Sorry to say how clueless I was, I had no idea what effect I had on the male counselors at the pool when I appeared in my bikini.

Dating counselors started happening and I remember a counselor named Jim, Phil Rhodes but once I met Alan, I wasn’t interested in anyone else.

I got invited to movies and bowling with the senior girls and the senior boys and to this day I’m close with Diane Kirmer, her sister Maxine is one of my closest friends and Stephanie Gilbert. Alfie was the godfather to our sons and I loved Alfie, one of the finest men I have known. He was so full of love, respect, with a warm and generous heart.

Alan was one of a kind, there was nobody like him, he had skills beyond most in sports, on the basketball court, tennis court, paddleball and softball field There was no one like him in sports, humor, intensity and passion. He was smart, environmentally conscious, politically connected, he marched in Washington, we spent time in bookstores as he obviously felt it was his responsibility to teach, he was always teaching. He was romantic. We were married for 30 years and are blessed with our fantastic sons, but he was tormented inside.

The summer of 1965 was a turning point in my life. I was pleasantly hit on by many of the counselors at Deerkill Day Camp till I officially met Alan, after watching him watch me as I moved around the pool deck for what seemed like days. One Friday night after the kids were asleep, I walked down past the pool and the casino to Black Birch, a couple of bungalows connected by a common bathroom for some of the counselors. I was in one room chatting and hearing the first few lines of a song and then it stopped and a new record was put on so he could listen to the first few lines of the next song. How irritating, I thought so I move into the next room to observe him playing music to his delight. He was pretty weird looking, wearing a mustard colored sweat pants and jacket, looks like he wasn’t crazy about haircuts or shaving and naturally I had no problem registering my complaint about hearing just one line from each song. That's how we met.

The next morning he invited me for breakfast and after that I did not want to date other boys ever again! I was 16 and he was 25. I was in love, not that I really knew what it means to be ‘in love’ but it’s all internal turmoil and smiles.

We were married for 30 years in spite of our differences. After raising a family with all the friends and family watching, all our travels, celebrations, deaths, losses, pain and sickness, here I am, thriving and loving and feeling so lucky to be telling this glorious story. Had I been diagnosed with cancer when I was 35, I would have been spitting bullets, furious, ready to kill to be struck down and not able to raise my boys and color my fantastic journey, but NO! At 67, I am ready and feel grateful that ALS is not like so many awful illnesses that cause pain, disfigurement, constant fear or horrible Altzheimers! I’ve had a great life. I married one phenomenal man whom I loved intensely and he loved me. We had a great romance, when he went off for spring break to Florida his senior year at CW Post College, I got a letter or a post card every single day, sometimes there were two or three words in the letter, but I loved it!

We got married and had a very full life. We had friends, went to the theatre, movies and even nice restaurants which was big because he had very little interest in food. We went camping, to concerts, to ball games, the beach and travelled in New England, the mid-atlantic states and California. We went cross country three summers, The first summer was 1971 with our eight month baby boy in a car bed in the back seat of our 1970, light blue VW bug. The roof rack had the car bed carriage wheels plus a trunk full of diapers and baby food. ROCKY MOUNTAIN NATIONAL PARK was beautiful and we loved it!

Altogether with local travels and long distance travels we visited many of the magnificent national parks.

Acadia, dad loved the book, A Separate Peace by John Knowles and the character wanted to be the first thing the sun shined on in the morning. Unfortunately, it was one of our first camping trips, it rained and not only did we fail to dig a trench, I was pregnant and touched the tent and we were soaked and ended up sleeping in the front seats of the tiny blue bug.

We camped in Arches with Tom & Jean, Sierra Arch National Wilderness, The canyons of the Sierra Anchas containing multiple large cliff dwellings--and some of the most rugged terrain in Arizona.The Badlands, Bryce Canyon, Canyonlands, Carlsbad Caverns, Death Valley, Everglades, Grand Canyon, Grand Teton, Great Sand Dunes, Great Smokey Mountains, Hot Springs, Mount Rainier, Petrified Forest, Redwood, Rocky Mountains, Saguaro, Sequoia, Shenandoah, Wind Cave, Yellowstone, Yosemite. We spent time in Boston Garden, Cape Cod, most of the 50 United States.

Your dad was one amazing person with a magnetic personality! There was nobody like him, he was an extremist, a passionate person who loved talent, education, sports, life and greatness. He was always teaching and sharing what he read and loved, Paul Robeson, James Baldwin, Kahil Gibran, the Weavers, Woody Guthrie, Arlo Guthrie, Pete Seeger, Martin Luther King, Joan Baez, Marnie Nixon great athletes, Larry Bird, Oscar Robertson, Jerry West, Wilt Chamberlain, Bill Russell. I learned tennis well and both college and NBA basketball. We went to track meets, tennis matches, marathons, we were outdoors people.

He was incredibly romantic, he loved the song “The Way you Look Tonight", he declared it “our” song and we danced to it whenever we heard it. The best surprise was when we were together on a subway train and he pulled out a folded looseleaf page from his pocket and began to serenade me with "The Way you Look Tonight" in French! Another song that he felt was “our” song was "You’re in my heart, you’re in my soul” by Rod Stewart which felt so personal about the way he felt about me.

I loved to laugh to the extent that when I met a person without a sense of humor, I felt walls instantly going up, isolating us. I am a contagious laugher, once I start, there's was no end in sight. Dad read MAD Magazine and there was a fairly heavy man dressed in white like a chef with a sledge hammer raised over his shoulder and a 5 oz can of Contadina Tomato Paste on the table. The red tomato paste splattered everywhere with the commercial saying, “how do they get those three great tomatoes into that itty biddy can!” That photo got me cracking up for years.

Unfortunately there was an excess of yelling, and screaming, quite tumultuous years when you and your brother were teens and no matter how angry I was I really want you to know the best of him, because he was the best. There was great dysfunction when Alan and his sisters were growing up and they learned to hide from the truth. To this day they are worlds apart for a reality check.

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