Comedy short: who broke the coffee pot?(Bones)
Paring: reader x jeffersonian staff
Summary: cam wants to know who broke the coffee pot.
A/n: bones requests are open!
MasterList
Cam called a staff meeting today... No one would have ever predicted that it would be about a broken coffee pot. Not a corpse, not a piece of broken bone, but a broken pot.
They all stood around the broken coffee pot confused, in the coffee maker it's self was large beaker from the lab in place of the pot. All of us minus Bones, she was aggravated she was taken away from her work for this.
“So...” Cam said crossing her arms “Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.” she said softly looking at everyone.
Everyone stayed silent as Seeley and Lance walked in confused. Lance walked up next to y/n looking at the broken glass. Before he could ask what happened y/n sighed when she saw everyone's silent panic and spoke up.
“...I did. I broke it.” y/n said trying to save who's ever ass broke it.
Cam shook her head and sighed “No. No you didn't, you don't even drink coffee. Dr. Hodgins?”
Jack looked insulted that she would even mention him, did he not relize how many beakers he's broken in the Lab? “Don't look at me. Look at Wendell”
The blond look bewildered and gave Jack a dirty look before turning to Cam. “What?! I didn't break it.”
Jack hummed and looked at Cam like he cracked the case “Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?”
Wendell started to get annoyed, he rubbed his fave then pointed to the broken glass “Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.”
Jack shrugged “Suspicious.”
“No, it's not!” Wendell said shaking his head. Cam, who just wanted an answer sighed right back and looked towards Seeley who interjected.
“If it matters, probably not, but Lance was the last one to use it.” y/n and Lance both looked at him shocked.
“Liar! I don't even work here!” Lance said stepping away from the group.
“Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart last night?” Seeley asked in joking matter, he wasn't really trying to blame him.
“Because Brennan asked me to get her a cup of coffee while I got y/n her tea. They were both working late last Everyone knows that, Booth” Lance quickly said and his story check out.
Angela sighed and put her hands up “Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Cam”
Cam stoped her and held up the lose handle “No! Who broke it!?”
Everyone stayed quiet, they all shared glances just waiting for someone to crack. Jack's eyes fell on Bones who was now checking her watch.
Jack glanced at Cam “Cam Brennan's been awfully quiet.”
Bones gasped, shocked anyone would accuse her of such accusations “really Dr. Hodgins?!”
Everyone starts arguing after that, the squints and the scientists that is. Lance and Seeley stared, still confused on what just happened. Cam just snickered and walked over to the boys. “I broke it by accident. It burned my hand so I punched it.”
Seeley and Lance started chuckling when they saw y/n throw a hand full of coffee stirrers at Wendell and Jack.
Seeley chuckled. “I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a skull on a stick.”
*Later at the Bureau*
“crap!” James sighed as the sound of glass shattering filled his ears, he quickly looked around for witness hoping no one saw him break the coffee pot in the break room.
Caroline sighed and pulled out her phone from a distance, James didn't see her dialing Cam's number. “Cam, tell me how you handled the coffee pot situation at the jeffersonian”
261 notes
·
View notes
What Are The Bones Characters Bad Habits?
Booth
Obviously the gambling, but he also almost forgets his tie at least 2 times a week
Brennen
Road rage like you wouldn’t believe omg it’s like she’s a completely different person
Zack
Can’t for the life of him remember to drink enough water
Sweets
Bites his nails until he’s bleeding
Angela
Stays up all night working on art projects and thinks caffeine will be enough to keep her going, but does this 2 days back to back
Jack
Cracks his knuckles 4 or more times a day
Fisher
Swears like a sailor
Saroyan
She chews on pens all the time
Aristoo
Overthinks anything related to work
Vincent
Listens to talk about whatever random fact he has that vaguely applies to what the other person just said
218 notes
·
View notes
bones sexuality headcanons
yeah i dont have proof (except angela) i just Know. call it my lesbian spidey senses. disclaimer that those are MY headcanons, you can have your own opinions on those ofc
main characters:
brennan: bi (preference for ugly men... but i digress). she probably started exploring her sexual orientiation in college and came to the conclusion that she's attracted to every gender to varying degrees. she's probably tongue kissed angela a few times pre season 1
booth: cishet ally! ⭐️ he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit, i'll give him that.. bi wife energy start playing whenever he walks into the room
zack: gayboi with a bad case of hero worship for dr brennan. naomi from paleonthology made him realise this isnt really what he'd like to excavate, if you get the gist... ;) (ew)
angela: imo? bi, but it's up to anyone. canon queer and i'm very happy about it
hodgins: bi. putting my foot down on this one- to me, hodgela is bi4bi. one day early into the series angela goes "why is everyone so hot... being bi is so hard" and hodgins is like "yeah, tell me about it" and they have a Oh, You Too? moment
cam: distinguished (ex-disaster) pan. she's all cool and collected now but in middle school she was probably stuttering whenever she saw a pretty girl
sweets: pan. boykisser. i just KNOW. that man is not heterosexual. probably had a few boyfriends in high school too
aubrey: bi? preference for women but in an alternate universe he and sweets are a thing
goodman: token straightie along with booth except i actually like him even tho even tho he took a 2 month sabbatical and never came back
squinterns:
clark: bi. a bit repressed and only realised it after breaking up with nora but as long as he gets there it's fine
daisy: pan. absolute girlkisser. she has the wlw equivalent of whatever zack felt for dr brennan. swaisy is a disaster pan couple.
fisher: pan- and i wont have it any other way. he was 100% checking sweets out when he came over to b&b's in s8, so i like to think when hodgins asks sweets "what is it with you and interns?" in 9x23 he's including fisher
wendell: bi and in a lab au he's dating vincent thank you
vincent: english twink and i think he and wendell should kiss in the lab lost & found
arastoo: straightie but we still love him. pan wife energy since he and cam are married
finn: god, i have No Idea but i have a feeling he doesn't either
wells: aro, and maybe ace too, but fyi even if he wasn't no one would want him
jessica: ... i used to say lesbian but i kinda let the jaubrey of it all get to me... pan vibes perhaps? i'll have to think it over. in another universe she and daisy are a thing too btw
other characters:
caroline julian:... lesbian. no i will not give an explanation for this one. sham marriage and all.
karen delfs: big pansexual energy coming from this random profiler?? i like her
villains: (do not take those seriously, but also...)
pelant: unlabeled. getting strangled by hodgins awoke something in him but he didnt have the time to figure it out between 8x01 and 9x04
taffet: very VERY mean lesbian
epps: heterosexual incel
broadsky: internalised homophobia over booth, clearly
kovac: the man pretended to be married to his sister. i'm not sure i even wanna know
248 notes
·
View notes
booth: we adopted a child.
sweets: yeah? congratulations to you!
booth slamming adoption papers on the table: by the way, it's you, sign it.
795 notes
·
View notes