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gayuu-the-necromancer · 2 months

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Ikevil Male Leads in a Job interview

WARNING: This is a joke, please don't act like this in your actual interview!

Liam:

Interviewer: "Tell me about yourself."

Liam: "My name is Liam Evans. I'm a stage actor for the past X no. of years and also works as assassin behind the scenes. I was forcefully put into a mental hospital at a very young age after I was accused of killing my parents and my butler and also burning my family mansion. Due to this, I get frequent episodes where I go completely crazy and do things out of curiosity."

Interviewer: *WTF!!?*

William:

Interviewer: "What are your strengths and weakness?"

William: "Well...I can give orders to people and force them to do whatever I want by just looking into their eyes."

Interviewer: ".........Are you implying that you possess, leadership skills?"

William: "I won't necessary call it a leadership skill because I love seeing people being free and being the master of their own actions."

Interviewer: "..........."

Interviewer: "..........O-Okay, then what are your weaknesses?"

William: "Strawberries."

Interviewer: "........."

William: "....fufu....I'm sorry, that's the only thing I can't share?"

Harrison:

Interviewer: "So Mr Harrison, why do want this job?"

Harrison: "Honestly, I just wanna a job because I want to avoid going to home because there is this annoying old man in house who constantly gives me tasks in the name of Queen Victoria."

Interviewer: "....Was it supposed to be a joke?"

Harrison: "You tell me. Am I lying or saying the true?" *takes out his strawberry milk can*

Interviewer: ".........."

Elbert:

Interviewer: "So Mr. Greetia, how do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator?"

Elbert: "..............Does putting an elephant inside...makes it beautiful?"

Interviewer: "Excuse me?"

Elbert: "I have preserved many animal skins before.......but never an elephant. .....Do you think an elephant is beautiful...?"

Interviewer: "..........Ha?"

Alphonse:

Interviewer: "Can you work under pressure?"

Alphonse: "Of course. Not only working under pressure, I can also help others in my team to work effectively."

Interviewer: "Oh, how?"

Alphonse: "I can give them blissful dreams to help them relieve their stress."

Interviewer: "B-Blissful dreams...?"

Alphonse: "Want to find out? *removes his gloves* Let's have fun together, shall we?"

Interviewer: "NO!" *runs away*

Roger:

Interviewer: "Can you tell me about a time you had to deal with an unsatisfied customer?"

Roger: "As a part of my job, I do encounter various types of patients. But there is this one bastard who is always ungrateful. He's my regular customer and always comes to me for check up and no matter how much I work hard to treat his injuries and lung problems, this son of bitch calls me a quack and then smokes right in front of me! After I treated his lungs! Seeing him makes me wanna pull out my gun, shoved it his mouth and shoot him. But I have to control myself because I'm a doctor."

Interviewer: ".............."

Roger: "Your heart rate is fast....are you okay?"

Ellis:

Interviewer: "So tell me why you quit your last job?"

Ellis: "Well....I was doing a contract job with my previous employer. But no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't make my boss happy."

Interviewer: ".....................Huh?"

Interviewer: "E-Excuse me...what kind of job were you doing before?"

Ellis: "I was working in a trading company as my boss's assistant and carry out whatever orders my boss gives me. It could range from simple collections to straight up assassination and cleaning up. But no matter how much I worked hard, my efforts couldn't bear a fruit. I couldn't make my boss happy....*sad face*

Intervierwer: "E....Erm...."

Ellis: "Will you give me a job here? I promise I'll make you the happiest person in this entire world." *smiles*

Interviewer: *runs away feeling embarrassed*

Ellis: "Did I make them sad too?" *sad face*

Jude:

Interviewer: "Phew....that was a lot...In my entire career, I have never interviewed a bunch of weirdos....*sighs* please call the next---"

*gunshot*

Interviewer: "WHAT THE HELL!? Was that a gunshot!?"

*Door opens*

CEO: "Please! please help me! He's after my life!"

Jude: "Where's that bastard who stole my money? You think you can steal my money and get away huh? Now how should I punish you?"

CEO: "Mr. Jude....please...I'm sorry...I just wanted to start my own company..."

Jude: "If you wanted to start your own company, you should have done it with your own money, you jackass. *lights his cigarette while standing in front of the 'no smoking' sign board* Tch....Usually, I would let Ellis handle these kinds of errands, but now I have to do it myself."

Interviewer: (Wait....so this guy was Ellis's...previous boss)

Jude: *Shots the CEO in the head*

Jude: "Now I'm taking over your company. Since it's technically build from my money" *laughs manically*

Interviewer: *faints*

Jude: "Hm? *looks at the fainted interviewer* What the?"

#ikemen series #cybird ikemen #otome #cybird otome #cybird #ikemen villain #ikemen villains

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kugisaaki · 2 months

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#black butler #sebastian michaelis #polls

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forjongseong · 11 months

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dive // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (minisode part 11 of the series)

genre: office!au, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; oral sex (f. receiving, obviously) // wc: ~2.5k oops

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo part 5 - tusa part 5.5 - apaga y vámonos part 6 - versos de placer minisode part 1 - cuando nadie ve part 6.5 - yo te quiero más minisode part 2 - la niña de mis ojos part 7 - aeropuerto minisode part 3 - falling autumn minisode part 4 - night night part 8 - ambulancia minisode part 5 - subtítulos part 9 - al caer la noche minisode part 6 - after last night part 9.5 - the way you look tonight part 10 - mon soleil minisode part 7 - daylight minisode part 8 - subside minisode part 9 - your princess, my queen part 11 - qué bonito part 11.5 - enchule minisode part 10 - meet cute

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: you've been sleeping with your dearest secretary for a while and you're dying to know how it feels when he goes down on you.

author’s notes: here's the second treat of the week--minisode part 11!!!

I know, I know. I just released minisode part 10 yesterday but that's the best thing about owning a blog and writing your own series--you can post whatever you want, whenever you want!

to be honest, I had a different minisode prepared that was sfw and takes place way before yn and Jay started their thing, but I was chilling and putting Spotify on autoplay and it played this song:

go google the lyrics... maybe then you'll understand why I felt compelled to write this minisode.

taglist: @thots4hee @jayked @end-hyphen @nyanggk @yoursjaeyun @maggstar @bucketofhiros @dimplejaehyuncutie @excusememissiloveyou @shinkenprincess-oh @mochimchimo @jongseonglogy

(send an ask if you want to be added or removed)

Staying at a luxurious hotel over the weekend was one of the very few indulgences that you would let yourself have. Normally, you would never splurge on a suite for just two nights, especially when the hotel is not out of town. Fortunately, this time your suite was a complementary gesture from the event that hired you as one of the keynote speakers.

Unfortunately, though, since the event was downtown and you did not have to travel, you handled everything alone. You could not ask your staff to accompany you to do something that was not part of their job, and not when the task did not concern your company either. You even sent Mr. Lee home early the day before, claiming that you could just take the bus or ride the subway to the hotel.

The first day of the event ended right on time, and you were invited to the gala dinner in the main ballroom. You attended, ate just enough to keep your stomach satisfied, and then you excused yourself to go back to your suite. You wanted to take advantage of the huge bathtub and treat yourself to a nice hot bath, thinking that you deserved it after all the talking and walking around in heels.

Maybe because it was in your nature to do things fast, your pampering session ended quickly. Your hair was half dry, and you were already lounging on the loveseat, playing a series you already finished on Netflix. You just needed the background noise, you thought, as you scrolled through your phone. It was a Saturday night, so most of the people you followed on Instagram were posting stories of their night out.

You wondered what Jay was doing at the moment.

Your thumb stopped scrolling and you eyed the clock in the corner of your screen. It was almost eight, yet you feel bored, but it was too late to get ready to go out. Where were you going to go anyway? Taehyung’s jazz club would be way too crowded, and it’s not like any of your close friends were within reach—your two best friends lived in other countries, and it wasn’t the scheduled night for your monthly video calls.

You mindlessly opened your phone’s gallery and found pictures of documents and a couple of videos from the meetings that were held the past week. You clicked on one that showed Jay giving a short presentation, it was on the day that you were not feeling your best, so he stepped up and filled in for you. You focused on the way he was gesturing with his hands—and the way his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. His hair was slicked back, and his jaw clenched whenever he was emphasizing a word. You then looked at the way he repeatedly licked his lips, and you noticed yourself breathing a little heavier.

Great, you thought. A little pathetic, actually, that you were sitting alone in a hotel, thirsting over your secretary whom you started sleeping with since, what, a couple of weeks ago? None of you were keeping count. This behavior of yours was a little uncalled for, and you got suspicious of yourself that you opened the app that tracked your period.

And of course, you found out that you were ovulating.

Usually, you would always take the more practical path. In this case, you could easily watch videos, or look at pictures of Jay and imagine him touching you as you touch yourself.

But why would you do that when he was literally just one call away?

“Hello?” You heard his voice as he picked up your call. “Is this an emergency? I didn’t get a text from you.”

You heard him entering a room and closing the door behind him.

“Boss?” He called for you after not hearing a reply. “Everything good?”

“I need you to come over,” you replied.

There was a brief pause before Jay answered.

“Alright,” he said as he took a deep breath. “On my way.”

“Not to my place,” you hurriedly added. “The hotel. You know my schedule.”

“In that case,” Jay said, seemingly shoving something into his pants and opening the door again, “I’ll be there in ten.”

You frowned but Jay ended the call before you could even say something back. You decided to retreat to the bedroom and check your reflection in the mirror. Your black silk camisole was tucked into your beige cotton shorts, and you still had your hair down after the bath you had. You then remembered that you had not put on any fragrance yet, so you rummaged through your makeup pouch and spritzed on the first fragrance you could get your hands on.

The bell rang and your heart almost dropped to your feet. You did not think ten minutes would go by so fast. You grabbed the satin robe from the bathroom and quickly wrapped it around your body as you made your way to the front door. When you opened it, Jay stood in front of you with a confused look on his face.

He was wearing rimless glasses, which you doubt were a fashion statement, and underneath his denim jacket, he was wearing a graphic tee of some sort of logo you had never seen before. It seemed like he was going for a comfortable look, judging from the chinos he had on in place of jeans. The Converse shoes also made him look like a regular college student going for a fun night out in town.

“I was in the area,” Jay explained without waiting for you to ask him. “Which is why I could come fast but also unprepared. Did you need your iPad?”

“Just come inside,” you said softly, holding the door wide open for him. He hesitated before taking a few steps in. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Jay frowned, but at the same time, he started looking around and admiring the suite. “This is a nice view,” he stated, gazing outside the window. “So, what do you need me for?”

“You’re really going to make me say it?” You asked back, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

Jay took off his denim jacket and set it on a lounge chair. If he had to be honest, he actually sprinted here, determined to reach you as fast as possible even though he wasn’t quite confident if the reason he thought you called him was the actual reason you had.

At the sight of his arms, you breathed out dramatically, and it just made Jay even more confused.

“I just didn’t want to be alone,” you confessed, taking your robe off and throwing it to the same spot where Jay had placed his jacket.

You boldly took the couple of steps that you needed to reach him, and when you did, you carefully took his glasses off before circling an arm around his neck, making him instinctively pull you in by your waist.

“I wanted company,” you continued, placing his glasses carefully on the table nearby. “Your company.”

Hearing your confession, you could clearly see the way Jay’s lips curled up into a smirk.

“I canceled plans with my friends to be here,” Jay spoke in a whisper, gradually leaning in towards you.

Your eyes fell to his lips. “Why would you do that?” You asked back, also in a whisper.

“Because,” Jay said, hanging his sentence so he could graze his lips against yours.

“Don’t say because I’m your boss,” you spoke, purposefully against his lips.

Jay chuckled softly, and all you wanted to do for the rest of the night was to breathe the air that he exhaled.

“Because I think I’ll like it better here,” he said before sealing your lips with a deep kiss. You had to fight back a moan to not give him the satisfaction, but you still reciprocated his kiss.

“You think?” You said as you pulled back. “You’re not sure?”

Jay squeezed your waist, turning your legs to jelly. The moan you tried hard to stifle eventually found its way out of your lips when you felt his mouth latch on to your neck. You began caressing the back of his neck, squirming as he was determined to leave marks on your skin.

“Jay,” you breathed. “Fuck.”

“Hmm,” he hummed before pulling back to look at you. “Do you want me to continue?”

You cupped his face before smashing your lips onto his, making him take a step back to keep his balance. After that, you took his hand and dragged him to the bedroom. You sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him in by his neck, and after a short fight, he finally threw his body on yours, kissing you fervently as his hands tugged your shorts down in a rush.

When you felt his fingers trace your thighs, you felt the heat rush up to your cheeks. Your lips were still pressed on his, and his tongue was still tangled with yours, yet you were desperate to feel both elsewhere. Jay’s hand managed to slip in between your legs and your body jerked the moment he palmed your clothed core.

“Jay,” you called as both your hands grabbed his shoulders.

He answered you with a look in his eyes, demanding you continue what you wanted to say.

“I want to see what your head game is like.”

You weren’t expecting Jay to laugh, resting his head in the crook of your neck as his shoulders moved up and down.

“Ask and you shall receive,” Jay said after containing himself. “You really called me over so I could go down on you?”

“Okay, can you stop being so patronizing?” You moved your hand over to his chest, pushing him away.

“Whoa, whoa.”

Jay propped himself up with his elbow as he took your hand and brought it up to his lips.

“I’m sorry if it came off that way,” Jay spoke with his lips against the back of your hand. “I will gladly show you my head game.”

The way he emphasized the last phrase made you roll your eyes. Jay chuckled lightly, kissing your cheek as you looked away from him.

You relaxed once he started peppering kisses down your jaw and to your neck. At the same time, his fingers were skillfully pulling the straps of your top down, revealing your breasts, and perfectly matching the timing of his lips. He kissed your nipple softly before circling his tongue around it and sucking it gently, only to release it with a pop.

“Close your eyes,” Jay said. You were in no position to disobey him.

He continued kissing you while pulling your camisole down, bunching it up around your waist. He planted a harder kiss to the right of your waist before pulling your panties along with the top down to your feet. You kicked it away way too enthusiastically, and Jay merely smirked at the way you were behaving.

Your eyes were still closed, but you could sense that he was tugging his shirt off, and it was proven right when you felt him settle between your legs, placing both of your thighs on top of his now bare shoulders. He kissed the inside of your thigh and you flinched, and you could feel the way your arousal dripped out of you.

“God,” Jay muttered, more to himself. “You’re gorgeous.”

He bumped the tip of his nose and you whimpered at the delicious contact. Once he placed his mouth on your cunt you moaned, feeling an overwhelming mixture of pleasure and contentment. At first, he was just kissing your folds, making loud sloppy sounds on purpose, and when you began to moan louder, he decided it would be nice to let you feel the warmth of his tongue.

“Fuck,” you sighed, jerking your hips. You could hear and feel Jay chuckle against your core, lapping up your arousal and strengthening the grip he had around your thighs.

His tongue made steady strokes against your folds and your legs were already shaking from the pleasure. You couldn’t stop thrusting your hips and grasping the sheets under you, and Jay literally had to push you back down.

“Relax,” he said as he detached his lips. He looked up at you and you looked back at him through your lashes. “Stay down.”

“Fuck you,” you replied weakly. Jay laughed and placed his lips between your legs again, making you feel the vibration of his voice against your cunt.

You began jerking your hips up again and Jay figured that he needed a new way to keep you steady. He noticed how hard you were grabbing the sheets, so very slowly, he pulled your fingers apart before placing them on his head.

“Just grab here,” Jay spoke against your folds. “I don’t mind.”

You sighed once you feel his tongue graze your clit. After placing one hand behind his head, you realized it wasn’t enough, so after a while you rested both your hands on his luscious hair, pulling only when it became unbearable.

Soon after, your grasp on his hair tightened and you became silent. Jay’s eyes flickered to your face, and he tried his best to keep his pace.

“Are you close?” He asked. You replied by nodding frantically.

Jay continued to eat you out, keeping the same pressure and pace no matter how hard you squirmed or how harshly you were pulling on his hair. He let you grind your hips into his face, careful not to let his teeth graze you, and when you finally reached your high, he groaned against your cunt, almost matching the moans that you let out.

Jay waited for you to catch your breath, gradually lowering your hips down and gently stroking your thigh to comfort you. You were breathing with your mouth open, and only when you came back down from your high you realized how dry your throat had become. You licked your lips and coughed a little, and Jay winced at the sound that you made.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his hand giving you a gentle squeeze on your hips.

You nodded slowly as you opened your eyes. When your gaze met his, his lips formed into a smile. Not a smirk, a genuine smile.

“So, what do we think of my head game?”

“Oh my God.”

At the sound of your groan, Jay laughed softly, crawling up to level with your eyes. You hesitated when he leaned in to kiss you, but he did so in such a gentle way that you couldn’t help but whimper into his mouth.

“Do I taste okay?” You asked, your eyes glowing in pure curiosity.

“You,” Jay replied, kissing your cheek. “Taste,” he kissed your jaw. “Divine,” he whispered, kissing your neck.

You closed your eyes and pulled him into an embrace, sighing in relief as you felt his skin come in contact with yours.

“There’s gonna be a round two, right?” Jay murmured against your neck.

You smiled, almost snorting from the bold question. “Only if you stay with me throughout the weekend.”

“Deal,” Jay replied, not missing a beat.

-END-

read the next part: tus gafitas

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royal-confessions · 6 months

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“My honest opinion on royal watching is that none of the so called down to earth royals that Kate and William are constantly compared to would have been well liked if they were under the scrutiny of the British press. Like Carl gustav constantly whining about victoria being queen and not Carl Phillip. Carl Gustav cheating on his wife. Mary and Frederick also took 2 months off work this summer like will and kate. Fredrick with his 77 working days last year and accepting private jet invitations from billionaires. Mary with secretly selling her tax payer funded clothes and hiding it from the public on haberdash. Madeleines wardrobe costs from when she was still a full time working royal etc. Let's not even talk about the the Netherlands and the covid blunders of traveling for holiday. And Willhelm Alexander's cousin's shady investments (and they all still have princely titles) plus princess mabel's connections to a mob boss. All royals are shady as hell. Stop with the narrative that it's just William and Kate. It just seems ignorant!!!” - Submitted by Anonymous

#Prince William #kate middleton #catherine princess of wales #king carl xvi gustaf #crown princess victoria #prince carl philip #princess madeleine #crown prince frederik #crown princess mary #king willem alexander #Prince Bernhard of Orange Nassau #princess mabel #popular

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kahixxi · 1 year

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My fav villainess manga:

The Person in a Villainess (Nazuna Shiraume, Makiburo) Cross-Dressing Villainess Cecilia Sylvie (Shino Akiyama, Hiroro Akizakura) I'm the Villainess, So I'm Taming the Final Boss (Sarasa Nagase, Anko Yuzu) Somehow, The Villainess Who Regressed in Time Lost Her Magic Power, so She Turned into a Secluded Maiden (Bin Sakamoto, Aoi) Even Though I'm a Super Timid Noble Girl, I Accepted the Bet From My Cunning Fiancé (Hiro Oda, Aji Murata) Endo and Kobayashi's Live Commentary on the Villainess (Rumiwo Sakaki, Suzu Enoshima) The Most Heretical Last Boss Queen: From Villainess to Savior (Bunko Matsuura, Tenichi) An Observation Log of My Fiancée Who Calls Herself a Villainess (Natsume Hasumi, Shiki) Queen Victoria Winner Ostwen Looks Like the Greatest in the World (Hajime Shinjou, Matsuri Kuragezaki)

#Akuyaku Reijou no Naka no Hito #Danzai sareta Tenseisha no Tame Usotsuki Heroine ni Fukushuu Itashimasu #the person in a villainess #the one within the villainess #nazuna shiraume #makiburo #Akuyaku Reijou Cecilia Sylvie wa Shinitakunai node Dansou suru Koto ni Shita.#cross dressing villainess cecilia sylvie #the villainess cecilia sylvie doesn't want to die so she decided to crossdress #shino akiyama #hiroro akizakura #akuyaku reijou nanode last boss wo kattemimashita #i'm the villainess so i'm taming the final boss #I'm a Villainous Daughter so I'm going to keep the Last Boss #I am the daughter with a villainous role so I tried keeping the Last Boss as a pet #sarasa nagase #anko yuzu #Gyakkou shita Akuyaku Reijou wa Nazeka Maryoku wo Ushinatta node Shinsou no Reijou ni Narimasu #somehow the villainess who regressed in time lost her magic power so she turned into a secluded maiden #bin sakamoto #aoi #Yowaki Max Reijou nanoni Ratsuwan Konyakusha-sama no Kake ni Notte Shimatta #even though i'm a super timid noble girl i accepted the bet from my cunning fiance #hiro oda #aji murata #tsundere akuyaku reijou liselotte to jikkyou no endou kun to kaisetsu no kobayashi san #endo and kobayashi live! the latest on tsundere villainess lieselotte #endo and kobayashi's live commentary on the villainess #rumiwo sakaki #suzu enoshima

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strangesmallbard · 10 months

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Yo what romance you reading? 👀 Also any recs welcome spread the good taste ✊😩

FJFKJF when i wrote that post i was definitely reading motherland: fort salem fanfiction 😅 i’ve been staying up too late reading fanfiction like some sort of 20 year old who can still do that without risking their health.

BUT i’ve been reading a lot of lesbian romance this year and i’m absolutely down to provide some recs! important disclaimer, however, i only read one (1) subgenre that’s best described as “ice queen lesbian milf office romance” ft an age gap between 21+ adults. understandably this is not everyone’s jam, but i am simply a 20something lesbian who thinks older women are really hot. what can i say

here are five recs in order of preference:

1. “truth and measure” by roslyn sinclair - the original adapted novel version of the same-titled legendary mirandy/devil wears prada fic. jules moretti is the long-suffering assistant of vivian carlisle, the CEO of a prestigious fashion magazine. then vivian gets pregnant mid divorce, with only jules by her side. and it only gets gayer from there.

listen. i genuinely could not stop reading truth and measure by roslyn sinclair. for three days, i woke up, vaguely did my adult tasks, and read for several hours in a state of what i can only call hysteria. the chemistry is insane. vivian is a hot mean loser with sad eyes and jules is insane for every choice she makes. btw i imagined the nanny!era lauren lane as vivian and current day alison scagliotti as jules. i had the time of my life. 10000/10

(also: i still highly recommend the published version to anyone who read the og fic - the story feels both brand new and wonderfully, nostalgically familiar.)

2. “the headmistress” by milena mckay - sam threadneedle, a closeted math teacher working at a conservative girls boarding school, hooks up with an insanely hot older woman at a conference in the city. three months later, that same hot older woman shows up at the school. woops, she’s the new principal and she’s there to cause problems! the prose is decent, the melodrama is fun to read, and the chemistry is zesty. solid 8/10

3. “the music and the mirror” by lola keeley - based on a supercat/supergirl fic of (i think) the same name. anna, the newest member of a prestigious ballet company, really wants to impress victoria, the former prima ballerina turned artistic director. well, she definitely does that! victoria decides that anna is going to be her company’s new star. this one has a lot of homoerotic partner dancing and really great side characters. still reads like a supercat fic, but honestly that’s another plus. 9/10

4. “the love factor” by quinn ivins - set in the 90’s, this book follows a closeted statistics professor and her TA, a very out lesbian political science phd candidate, as they expose a homophobic professor for falsifying data and fall in love. not as horny as others i’ve read, but still wildly tender and cathartic. i loved also how much empathy this book showed towards closeted lgbt folks. 7/10

5. “something to talk about” by meryl wilsner - also based on a mirandy fic, this book follows the misadventures of a hollywood showrunner and her assistant when they’re mistaken for a couple at a red carpet event. this book strained my suspension of disbelief the most—i simply don’t think everyone in emma’s life would be rooting for her to date her boss LMAO—but the chemistry is great and the pining is unreal. 7/10

#anonymous #ask

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zea9love · 9 months

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I’m bored and I’m planning to post a new Saints Row fancast edit soon, so here’s a few screenshots from the edit I made last year. Here’s part one.

Characters in order of appearance: Boss Victoria “Tori” Queens, Johnny, Shaundi, Pierce, Carlos, Lin, Aisha, Dex, Troy

#saints row #boss: victoria queens

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beardedmrbean · 6 days

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Oh actually there’s running gag in how convenient that a lot of historical figures are in one game

AC syndicate is one of the most infamous, because despite it taking over a year. We meet Frederick Abberline, Charles Dickinson and Darwin(actually there a lot of tongue meta jokes with him. As his theory of evolution is still accurate in ac. He doesn’t know that humanity to primatesto what dogs are to wolves), Karl Marx (sadly you can’t kill him), Alexander Graham Bell, Nightingale, and the motherfucking Queen Victoria

Not counting dlc with Arthur Doyle and Deup Singh

And yes we do have dlc centered around Jack the Ripper

Oh shit I forgot there ww1 segment where you work with Winston Churchill

Another thing, so in the halo series, there a propaganda line of “Spartans never die, there just Missing In Action”

It took Herdotus in odyessy, yes the Father of History (or Lies to the Egyptians), saying that Spartan poem of them being immortal I went

“Wait that where halo got it from?!”

Actually leaks said William Adams is going to be in the game too. I presuming third act or late game, wait could Adams travel to other places after becoming a samurai? I can see him being used a mechanic to explain how we can go to other countries like India

Btw I meet Rolo of Normandy in Valhalla when he was 17…in a medieval bdsm dungeon while he blindfolded and wiped

Dear god Middle Ages England was truly the apocalypse

Also I only realize it after the endgame…young Rolo actually lives in my settlement for a bit

But yeah I can see them making up a relationship with Yasuke and William Adams. Oh another joke

A Japanese: another Gajin join us?’

Yasuke: Yes and make him a proper samurai this time

Oh this is Valhalla main menu theme. But rest to sure the ac red music will be authentic

https://youtu.be/bApSPN-5TxQ?si=FcMKeReMxCuxGpxW

Hell the teaser trailer I sent actually ends with the game Japanese cover of ac iconic song ezio family

Lots of stuff ending with Oh shit I forgot there ww1 segment where you work with Winston Churchill

Doyle and Churchill don't quite fit, Deup Singh either but in the other direction

It took Herdotus in odyessy, yes the Father of History (or Lies to the Egyptians), saying that Spartan poem of them being immortal I went “Wait that where halo got it from?!”

Josephus is a good historian to read too, and it's entirely possible that's where they got it, not sure the poem tho so can't say for sure.

Ya Tokegawa let him go back to England even at some point, he had freedom of movement probably had to still have permission from the boss to leave Japan but well

List of foreign-born samurai (Yasuke doesn't make the cut because they can't 100% prove he was or wasn't a samurai.) but this list goes through their credentials or however you want to put it.

For Addams it was

250 koku. He was granted the rank of Hatamoto, a fief and 80-90 servants. Interpreter and shipwright of Tokugawa Shogunate.

Only one managed a higher worth.

Btw I meet Rolo of Normandy in Valhalla when he was 17…in a medieval bdsm dungeon while he blindfolded and wiped Dear god Middle Ages England was truly the apocalypse

Not just in Europe either, though that's where we have the specific information about things, shit was bad in Asia, the middle east, and Africa too. Lots of those areas had the same problem too.

But yeah I can see them making up a relationship with Yasuke and William Adams. Oh another joke A Japanese: another Gajin join us?’ Yasuke: Yes and make him a proper samurai this time

I take it Yasuke managed to pick up the language ok then, Addams did ok but still had a interpreter with him all the time too just in case.

youtube

Oh that's pretty

Hell the teaser trailer I sent actually ends with the game Japanese cover of ac iconic song ezio family

I didn't catch that apparently, that's cool af

#zoomer huey anon

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randomestfandoms-ocs · 7 months

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Gotham OC Masterlist

Name: Allison Queen

Story: Killer Queen

Faceclaim: Meg Donnelly

Name: Bellatrix Bullock

Story: Nothing Town

Faceclaim: Jenna Ortega

Love Interest: Sapphire St Cloud & Bruce Wayne

Name: Chrissa Wayne

Story: Blood On The Walls

Faceclaim: Malina Weissman

Name: Dakota Dent

Story: Devil Within

Faceclaim: Peyton List

Name: Felicity Nygma

Story: Misery Loves Company

Faceclaim: Taissa Farmiga

Love Interest: possible Bruce Wayne

Name: Ginevra Maroni

Story: Someone Gets Hurt

Faceclaim: Isabela Moner

Love Interest: Bruce Wayne

Name: Isolde Kean

Story: Malevolence

Faceclaim: Anya Taylor-Joy

Name: Josette Cobblepot

Story: Saviour Complex

Faceclaim: Sabrina Carpenter

Love interest: possible Bruce Wayne

Name: Leander Zane Hayes

Story: Condemn Or Crown

Faceclaim: Ben Barnes

Love Interest: Ophelia Wayne

Name: Leonie Murphy

Story: Murphy's Law

Faceclaim: Kathryn Newton

Love interest: Jim Gordon

Name: Lorena Falcone

Story: Get Out Alive

Faceclaim: Victoria Pedretti

Love Interest: Jim Gordon

Name: Ophelia Wayne

Story: Condemn Or Crown

Faceclaim: Lily Collins

Love Interest: Leander Zane Hayes

Summary:

After spending her teenage years overseas, attending boarding school in Europe, Ophelia Wayne found herself surprisingly optimistic about returning to Gotham to learn to run her family business. She was, that is, until 24 hours into her return, when she and her brother witness their parents murdered right in front of them. Suddenly the legal guardian to her traumatized younger brother and the heir to the biggest company in Gotham, Ophelia finds herself thrust into a world of shadows, lies, and betrayal, where the only way to survive is to win a game she’d never wanted to play.

Name: Piper Gordon

Story: Kill V Maim

Faceclaim: Dove Cameron

Summary:

Piper Gordon had tried law and order, she really had. She would have said that she gave it the old college try but, well, she’d never tried college. Still, while Jim had been off becoming a war hero, Piper had joined the GCPD. She knew firsthand how corrupt her city was, her long deceased father had been all the proof she needed, and she really thought that she could be the one to fix things. Her partner, mentor of sorts, Harvey, had quickly cleared her of that notion. There was no “cleaning up” the underbelly of Gotham, there was only saving your own ass as best as you could. And sure, Piper could have done that. She could have played by the unspoken rules of the city, could have taken the right bribes and pulled the right strings and made out like a bandit, all things considered. But Piper had never been a fan of being in anyone’s pocket, of belonging to anyone but herself, so she took the next logical step.When Jim Gordon returned home, renown veteran and newest officer in the GCPD, he knew that things would have changed, and knew that Piper would no longer be the little girl he’d left behind. He just didn’t expect her to be the Princess of Crime Alley, one of the most respected and feared crime bosses in the entire city.

Name: Sapphire St Cloud

Story: Nothing Town

Faceclaim: Emma Myers

Love Interest: Bellatrix Bullock & Bruce Wayne

Name: Sarina Strange

Story: Wildfire

Faceclaim: Sadie Sink & Abigail Cowen

Love Interest: Bruce Wayne

#masterlist #gotham oc #dc oc #randomestfandoms construction

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that-one-enby-ranger · 10 months

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My Fictional Crushes

So like a lot of people I, of course, have quite a lot of fictional crushes. And by quite a lot I mean 106. I made a list yesterday and felt like sharing it because why the actual fuck not. I'm not gonna put any tags though because it's gonna take too long and I honestly don't care if people see this or not it's more just for fun. There are a few questionable ones on here (serial killers) that might need a bit of an explanation so I shall try and provide. These aren't in any particular order they just got put on when I remembered them.

Halt O'Carrick - Rangers Apprentice (Number 1 boy)

Gilan Davidson - Rangers Apprentice

Will Treaty - Rangers Apprentice

Horace Altman - Rangers Apprentice

Crowley Meratyn - Rangers Apprentice

Rayla - The Dragon Prince

Callum - The Dragon Prince

Amaya - The Dragon Prince

Runaan - The Dragon Prince

Ethari - The Dragon Prince

Sweeney Todd (He's too amazing for me not to be in love with him. He had motives people.)

Edward Scissorhands (Just look at that adorable confused little bean.)

Adam Maitland - Beetlejuice

Lydia Deetz - Beetlejuice

Antony J. Crowley - Good Omens

Aziraphale - Good Omens

Newton Pulsifier - Good Omens

Victor Van Dort - Corpse Bride

Jack Skellington - Nightmare Before Christmas

Thorn Hammerhand - Brotherband Chronicles

Yondu Udonta - MARVEL

Hank Pym - MARVEL

Tony Stark - MARVEL

Bucky Barnes - MARVEL

Dr. Stephen Strange - MARVEL

Natasha Romanoff - MARVEL

Will Turner - Pirates of the Carribean

Minho - Maze Runner

Newt - Maze Runner

Thomas - Maze Runner

Morgarath - Rangers Apprentice (I know he's horrible but too be fair, he's a tall, pale, black dressed evil villain who sits gayly. He's cool.)

Vaggie - Hazbin Hotel

Millie - Helluva Boss

Blitzo (The O is silent) - Helluva Boss

Stolas - Helluva Boss

Jedediah - Night at the Museum

Ahkmenrah - Night at the Museum

Shrek (He's a fucking legend)

Barnabas Collins - Dark Shadows

Victoria Winters - Dark Shadows

Arthur Kirkland (England) - Axis Powers Hetalia

Francis Bonnefoy (France) - Axis Power Hetalia (I probably spelt his name wrong sorry)

Jareth - Labyrinth

Karl Heisenberg - Resident Evil: Village

Lady Dimetrescu - Resident Evil: Village (I may also have spelt her name wrong. Tall vampire lady)

Stig Olafson - Brotherband Chronicles

Hal Mikkelson - Brotherband Chronicles

Sodapop Curtis - The Outsiders

Dallas Winston - The Outsiders

Darry Curtis - The Outsiders

Steve Randell - The Outsiders

Two-Bit Matthews - The Outsiders

Johnny Cade - The Outsiders

Bill Fucking Cipher - Gravity Falls (He's cool. Everyone loves him.)

Egon Spengler - Ghostbusters

Peter Venkman - Ghostbusters

Austin Powers (I know he's pretty much a sex machine but he's also really kind and caring)

Kenickie Murdoch - Grease

Danny Zuko - Grease

Frenchie - Grease

Betty Rizzo - Grease

Jenny Dalby - Rangers Apprentice

Haymitch - Hunger Games

Lucifer Morningstar - The Netflix show Lucifer

Beelzebub - Good Omens

Mikkel - Brotherband Chronicles (I know he wasn't even really in it but he seemed cool and really nice)

Karina - Brotherband Chronicles (Sweetest mother ever)

The Other Mother - Coraline (Shut the fuck up I like her)

Sir Keren - Rangers Apprentice (He was actually a really cool and interesting villain with actual morals and he did regret his actions.)

Cruella de Vil - 101 Dalmations but I like her more in the movie Cruella

Jafar - Aladdin

Captin Hook - Literally any of the versions of him

Hades - Hercules but just him in general

Dionysus - He's a cool god.

Yzma - Emperors New Groove

Dr Facilier - Princess and the Frog

Queen of Hearts - Alice in Wonderland

Monolo Sanchez - Book of Life

Hector - Coco

Jasper - Cruella

Arty - Cruella

Artemis - Ready Player One

Robin Hood - Any of them apart from the fucking fox. I like Men in Tights version.

Wezley - Princess Bride

Inigo Montoya - Princess Bride

Sheriff Woody - Toy Story (I know its weird and a little bit fucked up but I like him.)

Elsa - Frozen

Merida - Brave

Bo Peep - Toy Story

Kuzco - Emperors New Groove (He's funny)

Flynn Rider - Tangled

Willy Wonka - Johnny Depp's version

Ruv - Friday Night Funkin' Midfight Masses

Sam - Assasins Blade

Michael Afton - FNaF

John - FNaF Novel Trilogy

Barbarossa - Ned's Circus of Marvels (Yes he is a villain. Yes he ia pirate butcher. Yes he is horrible. But he's cool and a pirate and a butcher and I like villains like that.)

Bennissimo - Ned's Circus of Marvels

Loki - MARVEL

Jacob Coote - Looking For Alibrandi

Ryder Dagon - He's a character I made up for a book series I was going to write but gave up on. He's my character. No one else knows him apart from my sibling.

Chloe Decker - Lucifer

Arnold J. Rimmer - Red Dwarf

Alexander Lemtov - Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga

Rosalina - Mario

Four - Divergent

There are a lot more I just can't think of any at the moment. If you want to y'all can show me a list of your fictional crushes. I won't judge.

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noneedtoamputate · 3 months

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Hi Jess, thank you so much for opening up book rec and congrats on 100 followers :D I'm looking for books that can be comp to a novel I'm writing (so similar things are my target). Can you find sth that is a spy thriller that leans more toward James Bonds-y, Kingsman-y sorta spy flick where there are colorful villains and world-ending scheme? (rather than realistic intelligence business). If they have a strong element of romance, that would be super swell as well. I would love to read about 3 of these, if you can find them, and hopefully they are recent releases, or as new as possible.

Again, thank you so much :)

I am so sorry I took so long to reply. Real life got in the way, but I'm happy to share some titles I found that might fit the bill for you.

I avoided suggesting most books in series, and it seems like all spy novels are in series!

The Secret Service of Tea and Treason by India Holton (April 2023) is the third book in her Dangerous Damsels series. Alice (aka Agent A) is in charge of thwarting an assisnation attempt on Queen Victoria, but must partner with her rival, Agent B. This book got all the stars in the major library review journals, and it doesn't look like you need to read the first two books in the series to read this one. Definitely historical, and the romance element is strong.

Stars and Smoke by Marie Lu (March 2023) paris up Winter Young, a 19-year-old male pop star, with Sydney Walker, a 19-year-old operative, who must take down a crime boss together. The crime boss' daughter is a hige Winter Young fan. There's romance, villains, and takes place in modern day.

Hawke by Ted Bell (June 2003) is an homage to James Bond. As a child, he watches pirates murder his parents. Thirty years later, he is charged with saving the United States from being bombed by the Russians in the Cold War. He's a playboy, has toys, and there are over-the-top villians that we expect in a Bond book or film.

Alias Emma by Ava Glass (August 2022) - Secret agent Emma Makepeace has 12 hours to bring the son of Russian dissidents into custody without being detected in London, one of the world's most surveilled cities. Definitely action based.

Finally, The Moneypenny Diaries by Kate Westbrook (January 2005) is written in Miss Moneypenny's point of view. The description sounds cheesy but fun, and it will give you the James Bond fix you might be looking for.

Let me know if you end up reading any of these titles and how they worked out for you!

#asked and answered

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mermaidsirennikita · 3 months

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sorry if you've already been asked this! (i tried searching but the tumblr search button sucks ass) but do you have any recommendations for historical romances where the main heroine is a courtesan? please and thank you!

No worries! I should tag more specifically, but, well... it's late now lol.

Sure!

The Courtesan Duchess by Joanna Shupe technically has the heroine learn how to be a courtesan in order to seduce her husband and get up the duff.

How to Win a Scoundrel's Heart by Vivienne Lorret--the heroine is not an experienced courtesan, but gets propositioned by the hero to become his mistress for four months, after which she expects to be one. He's like her courtesan training wheels.

Melissa and The Vicar by S.M. LaViolette--Melissa is a courtesan-turned-madam who takes a vacation to a small town after suffering from stomach ulcers. She conceals her identity and falls for the super hot virgin vicar!!!!

To Beguile a Beast by Elizabeth Hoyt--not quite a courtesan, but the heroine is the longtime mistress of a dude who basically becomes dangerous, and she flees with their two children to become the (scarred, traumatized, one-eyed) hero's housekeeper. Super unique imo

The Return of The Duke by Lorraine Heath--the heroine is a courtesan who was the hero's father's mistress; he begins coming after her because he's trying to find out if and why his father would try to assassinate Queen Victoria (and summarily be stripped of his titles and executed). Rare Lorraine Heath 69 included

Unclaimed by Courtney Milan--the heroine is a sex worker (not quiiite a courtesan, but well known) who's hired by the bad guy to seduce the hero, who's famously a virgin and all-around good guy waiting to fall in love

The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt--Elizabeth's debut, in which the heroine isn't a courtesan but puts on a mask and pretends to be one in order to fuck her boss, who's been visiting a brothel in an effort to avoid his desires for her

#romance novel blogging #romance novels #book recs

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littlemuoi · 9 months

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When the Queen is your boss by Susan Delacourt (September 9th 2022)

OTTAWA—In her 60 years on the throne, Queen Elizabeth II has presided over 20 Parliaments in Canada, featuring 11 prime ministers and 11 governors general.

What is it like to work for the Queen? An array of former prime ministers and governors general offer glimpses of working life under Her Majesty’s rule.

1. Michaëlle Jean

No one tells you when you are named governor general that you might end up doing dishes with the Queen. But this is exactly what happened in early September 2005, as Michaëlle Jean was preparing to take up her new role as the Queen’s representative in Canada.

About three weeks before her formal installation, Jean flew across the Atlantic to spend some time with the Queen at her summer residence, Balmoral Castle. Rather unusually, in terms of protocol and precedence, Jean had asked to make it a family visit; to bring along her husband, filmmaker Jean-Daniel Lafond, and their daughter, Marie-Eden, then 6 years old. There was much fuss and back-and-forth among the protocol people about this business of bringing the whole family. Usually appointees arrive for these visits with only a spouse, if anyone at all.

“We had to negotiate that; it was an ‘adjustment,’” Jean said. In addition, Jean and the family received extensive, detailed instructions on all the protocol minutiae for dealing with that first meeting. “It was pretty heavy.”

So it was a pleasant surprise for Jean to pull up at Balmoral, family in tow, and find the Queen and Prince Philip standing at the front door like any weekend hosts, casually walking out and extending their hands. Philip pulled Marie aside and asked if she wanted a Coca-Cola. Marie said she wasn’t allowed to have this at home. “It’ll just be between you and me,” Philip replied.

Jean realized, then and there, that she could start breathing.

The Queen led the family to their quarters, which happened to be Queen Victoria’s old suite, and showed them how to use the tub, including the fussy new faucets installed after a recent renovation. “She wanted to greet us in her home, herself,” Jean said.

The entire stay, in fact, turned out to be a remarkable glimpse into the warm family life of the royals.

The Queen told Jean that they would be dining at a favourite cottage on the property, about a half-hour’s drive from the castle. And the driver turned out to be none other than the Queen herself, behind the wheel of a new, fully outfitted Range Rover, which clearly was a prized possession. Tearing along the road, with Lafond in front, Jean and Marie in the back seat, the Queen told of how she had learned to take apart car engines in her service as a volunteer mechanic during World War II.

“She drives very fast,” Jean said. “(Yet) she handles the car very well … We got a great sense of her character and her independence.”

Pulling up to the cottage, Jean noticed a man by the barbecue, wearing hunting plaid, who had obviously been given the task of cooking the dinner. While the Queen and the rest of Jean’s family went inside the cottage, Jean wandered over and discovered another surprise — Prince Philip doing barbecue duty. They chatted and Philip gave Jean a bit of advice: compliment the Queen on her salad dressing. Apparently it’s a recipe that Her Majesty invented, and she is quite proud of it.

Walking inside, Jean discovered a hive of kitchen activity. “And who do I see cooking? The Earl of Wessex (Edward, the Queen’s youngest son), cooking the appetizers.”

No staff members were in sight — this was a dinner entirely created by the royals, for their Canadian visitors. It was one family, dining with another. “It was great conversation, fun … no protocol,” Jean said.

It also happened to be Jean’s 48th birthday — a fact she hadn’t disclosed. But a cake was magically produced at the end of dinner, with “21 Forever” written in icing.

And at the end of the dinner, both families gathered up the plates, went into the kitchen and did the dishes.

“It was probably the best birthday of my life,” Jean said.

2. Adrienne Clarkson

The Queen’s last big anniversary was in 2002, when she marked half a century on the throne. In honour of this milestone, all the Commonwealth governors general were invited to spend some time with the Queen at Windsor Castle that April. Canada’s governor general at the time was Adrienne Clarkson.

The Queen had lost her mother and her sister in the preceding months of that year, and was officially in mourning, but the ceremonies were going ahead regardless.

Clarkson arrived with the other governors general and was guided to her room. Along the way, they were taken through a gallery featuring the royal collection of art — including works by great masters such as Rembrandt, Rubens and Titian. Once in her room, Clarkson decided she had a little time to kill before formal tea with the Queen, and she set out on her own to take a closer look at the paintings.

Entranced by the art on display, Clarkson kept walking down the castle’s cavernous corridors, not really bothering to take note of her route. “I didn’t take any thread with me, to mark my path. Suddenly, I thought: ‘How do I get back to our room?’” Realizing she was now completely lost in the castle, Clarkson decided to keep looking at the paintings, while watching for any possible exit.

All at once, to her left, came a pack of dogs — a dozen of the Queen’s corgis, and dachshund-corgi mixes. Clarkson recognized the dogs from her visit to Balmoral several years previously. She made a snap decision — if she followed the corgis, she would find her way out of the art-lined maze.

“I sort of rushed behind them, we turned a corner … and there is Her Majesty, standing in riding clothes, looking hale and hardy,” Clarkson said. “She had a riding crop in one hand and in her other hand, she had little treats that she was giving to the corgis.”

Unruffled by the surprise encounter, the Queen said a friendly hello and then a breezy: “See you at tea time.” The corgis swarmed behind her, and Clarkson was left to find her own way — successfully — back to her room.

That particular stay, however, had an abrupt end, when Clarkson learned that four Canadian soldiers had been killed in a “friendly fire” incident from U.S. forces in Afghanistan. With the help of the Queen’s royal aircraft, Clarkson was able to travel immediately to Germany, where some of the wounded soldiers had been transported. It meant that Clarkson missed a memorial service for Princess Margaret, but “it was important to me to be right there on the ground (in Germany),” Clarkson said.

Clarkson has nothing but fond memories of working for the Queen. “She’s always been an extremely acute and aware woman,” she said. “She has a great knowledge of the past and of Canadian prime ministers.”

It should be noted, Clarkson said, that the Queen never discusses politics — at least in her experience. “We only discussed personalities,” she said. “The Queen stays completely out of (politics and government.) … She never inquires and never says things like: ‘Gee, you have an awful lot of minority governments,’ or anything like that. She is totally appropriate.”

3. Joe Clark

During his brief time as prime minister, from mid-1979 to early 1980, Joe Clark didn’t have much of an opportunity to deal with the Queen directly. But the Royal Family made some lasting impressions on Clark and his wife, Maureen McTeer, through his long political career.

McTeer’s decision to keep her own name stirred up plenty of controversy in Canadian politics in the late 1970s. Some people registered their disapproval by calling her Mrs. Clark anyway.

Shortly after Clark became prime minister, the Queen Mother visited Halifax, and McTeer was put through the “Mrs. Clark” routine all through a formal lunch. “All the Liberal women at my table called me Mrs. Clark,” McTeer wrote in her book, titled In My Own Name.

The Queen Mother, ever astute, was the exception. After the lunch, McTeer escorted the Queen Mother to her limousine, and got some advice. “I always tell my grandchildren that they must be themselves and do what they believe best in life. Don’t be bothered by criticism.” And then, as parting words, the Queen Mother said: “Good Luck …. Ms. McTeer.”

A few years later, after Clark failed to get more than a bare 66 per cent approval from his party at a leadership review and stepped down as Progressive Conservative leader, he was present at Rideau Hall for the visit of Prince Charles and Diana. When Clark’s turn came to shake the royals’ hands in the receiving line, “Prince Charles’ first words to me were: ‘Why wasn’t two-thirds enough?’”

4. John Turner

Long before his brief stint as prime minister in 1984, John Turner had struck up his own friendship with the Royal Family — famously, with Princess Margaret.

The two met while the princess was on a tour of B.C. They danced all night at a fancy, formal ball, and British tabloids speculated about a budding romance between the handsome, young lawyer and the Queen’s sister. The romance never happened, but the friendship endured, and Turner visited Balmoral Castle a few times in subsequent years, shooting pheasants with Prince Philip and mixing drinks for the Queen Mother.

More than 20 years later, after Turner won the Liberal leadership and the prime minister’s job, he was faced with an awkward situation. He felt he had to call a general election, but that would require a postponement of a planned visit to Canada that summer by the Queen. Turner could have made the request by phone, but in deference to his long friendship with the family, he decided he should go in person. “It was a matter of courtesy,” Turner said.

So off Turner flew to Windsor Castle in early July, accompanied by his wife, Geills. The Queen was reportedly very understanding, and agreed to postpone her trip until the fall — when, as it happened, Turner would no longer be prime minister. During this visit, Turner and his wife dined with the Queen on the terrace of the castle. And during lunch, the Queen asked Turner’s views on the monarchy. “I’m with you 100 per cent,” Turner told the Queen.

In 2000, when the Queen Mother turned 100, Turner sent her a note, wishing her a happy birthday. Not long after, he received a formal reply — with a personal postscript from the Queen Mother. She said she remembered him fondly. “You make the best martinis,” the Queen Mother wrote.

5. Brian Mulroney

In his nine years in office, from 1984 to 1993, Brian Mulroney had an opportunity to forge a deep friendship with the Queen. He dined with her and other world leaders at Buckingham Palace in 1986, at the height of efforts to free Nelson Mandela from prison in South Africa.

And on many occasions, during the Queen’s trips to Canada, Mulroney would convene small, convivial dinners with Her Majesty at 24 Sussex Drive, often with just his family and perhaps a couple close friends as guests. The eldest Mulroney children, Ben, Caroline and Mark — Nicholas was then too young — were included as well.

“The kids loved her. She was terrific with them, too,” Mulroney said.

One memory stands out. It was Canada Day 1992, and the country was celebrating its 125th birthday. The Queen had a busy day of events, but had explicitly asked to clear some time in her schedule to relax with the Mulroneys at 24 Sussex.

They laid out a low-key lunch on the second floor of the residence, which has a spectacular view overlooking the Rideau River and Quebec on the far shore. The Queen, a modest glass of wine in hand, kicked off her shoes, put her feet up, and started to chat with Brian and Mila Mulroney about “free spirits” — people who throw off their societal obligations and go where their hearts take them.

“I thought it was fascinating, because she’s so constrained by protocol and all the stuff she has to do,” Mulroney said.

She spoke in particular about Susan Barrantes, mother of Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York. (Ferguson was married at the time to the Queen’s son, Andrew.) In the 1970s, Barrantes shocked English high society by deserting her family and running off to Argentina to marry professional polo player Hector Barrantes. She earned the nickname “the bolter” for the decision and was largely ostracized by the upper class in Britain.

But the Queen, in conversation with the Mulroneys that afternoon, pronounced no judgment whatsoever. “She was almost wistful,” Mulroney said. She spoke of the need to understand such free spirits, to respect their life decisions. “It was almost as if she was saying: ‘Don’t make hard and fast value judgments on people just because they’re not like you.’ I was taken by this.”

Was this a hint of the Queen’s preoccupations with her own family at the time? Two of her children’s marriages were crumbling — Prince Charles and Diana, famously, as well as the marriage between Andrew and Sarah. If so, she betrayed no hint of it to Mulroney. “I don’t remember it being apropos of anything,” Mulroney said. “It wasn’t like I brought it up.”

Mulroney’s friendship with the Queen has endured. He’s seen her socially on occasions over the past few years. “She’s delightful. She’s known everybody since Adam. She’s shrewd and thoughtful and incisive,” Mulroney said.

6. Kim Campbell

Canada’s first female prime minister, Kim Campbell, didn’t stay in office long enough to have any direct dealings with the Queen.

But Campbell does have some strong views, informed by her years in government, about the importance of the Queen in this country.

Through the Queen and her representatives in Canada — governors general and lieutenant governors in the provinces and territories — Canadians have celebrated the diversity of the country. “It’s interesting that we had our first woman governor general (Jeanne Sauvé) before we had our first woman prime minister,” Campbell says. The royal representatives in Canada have also included aboriginal people, people of colour and more diversity than one often sees in the political class, she notes.

The Queen has also come to represent duty and a life of public service and charity, Campbell says, and these are what Canadians celebrate with the pomp and circumstance surrounding the royals.

Campbell says no prime minister can remain unaware of the links between the Crown and Parliament. The royal presence is felt when ministers and governments are sworn in at Rideau Hall and it is also ever-present when prime ministers consult with their governors general. The monarchy infuses the job with dignity and discretion, Campbell says.

“My audiences with (the late governor general) Ray Hnatyshyn were ones in which you knew you could discuss what you were doing and what you were thinking about things, with the absolute assurance that what you were saying would never go out of that room.”

7. Jean Chrétien

One prime minister can claim a very special relationship with the Queen — Jean Chrétien, who has the title to prove it. In 2009, Chrétien was made part of the Queen’s Order of Merit — an elite group with just 24 members, described as “individuals of exceptional distinction in the arts, learning, sciences and other areas such as public service.”

And this year, in deference to that relationship, Prime Minister Stephen Harper named Chrétien as Canada’s representative to the Diamond Jubilee Trust.

Some of Chretien’s stories about the Queen are legendary. There was the famous signing of the Constitution on Parliament Hill in 1982, for instance, when Chrétien was justice minister and the Queen was present for the ceremony. When it came time for Chrétien to put his signature on the document, he found that his prime minister, Pierre Trudeau, had broken the nib of the pen. “Merde,” Chrétien proclaimed, just before he realized he had sworn in front of Her Majesty. While he was red-faced, though, the Queen was laughing.

As well, in Chretien’s second biography, My Years as Prime Minister, he tells a couple more anecdotes about his long association with the Queen.

As prime minister, his first encounter with her was at Sandringham in January 1994, when he learned that the Queen and the Queen Mother loved to speak French. In Chretien’s mother tongue, they spoke of Her Majesty’s first trip to Canada in 1939, when she was a child, and long before her coronation.

Less than six months later, Chrétien lent his counsel to the Queen, advising her not to agree to a request to apologize to Maoris in New Zealand for their treatment under the colonial regime. Chrétien said it would set a precedent, which would find the Queen obliged to apologize to more than 600 First Nations bands in Canada as well. “You’ll be on your knees for quite a long time,” he told her. With some quiet diplomacy in the direction of his New Zealand counterpart, James Bolger, Chrétien managed to get the apology request withdrawn.

Chrétien and the Queen also shared some laughs in 1995 about a Montreal radio prank, which had inadvertently revealed the monarch’s affection for the Canadian prime minister. A comedian named Pierre Brassard, pretending to be Chrétien, had managed to get the Queen on the telephone and kept her on the line for 15 minutes, asking whether she would make a nationally televised speech in the midst of the Quebec referendum.

“I will probably be able to do something for you ... No problem, no, I can do that,” the Queen told the fake Chrétien. The conversation also included nonsensical rambles by Brassard about the Queen’s picture on Canadian Tire money and what she was wearing for Halloween.

In his biography, Chrétien recalls the Queen’s lack of amusement at Brassard’s prank. But she did reportedly tell Chrétien: “I didn’t think you sounded quite like yourself, but I thought, given all the duress you were under, you might have been drunk.”

8. Paul Martin

In 2005, Saskatchewan and Alberta were celebrating their 100th year as provinces in Canada. The prime minister was Paul Martin and the Queen arrived in May to lend her royal presence to the anniversary festivities in the West.

In Regina, a torrential rain was pouring down on May 17 when the Queen and Prince Philip pulled up at the Legislature. Undeterred by the downpour, the Queen went ahead with her remarks and then proceeded, according to plan, on her walkabout, accompanied by the prime minister.

Martin has a reputation for courtly good manners around women and in the midst of the deluge, guiding the Queen on the rain-slick surface of the Legislature grounds, he reached out and touched her on the back. Chivalrous perhaps, but it was also a big, diplomatic no-no. One does not place one’s hands on Her Majesty.

“Protocol gave me the heights of hell,” Martin said.

Later, the Queen sat down with Martin at the Hotel Saskatchewan and the two had a good laugh over his alleged protocol blunder. She didn’t mind at all, apparently, and they had a wide-ranging conversation that included talk of Martin’s parents. Paul Martin Sr. and his wife, Nell, got to know the Queen when the elder Martin served as Canada’s high commissioner to Great Britain in the 1970s. “They liked her very much,” Martin said. “So we talked about them, and we brought it all home.”

#brf #royal anecdote #warning: long read but wholesomely worth it 🥲#queen elizabeth ii #prince philip #duke of edinburgh #queen mother #ed #chuck #the edinburghs cooking series

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