#both in this account and my naruto one

[ssailormoonn]

─── ❛ Sasuke Head Canons ❜ | pt 1

Sasuke X Fem!Reader

| SFW + NSFW | REQUEST? yes |

REQUEST; @lovelyandproblematic - your account is so so pretty 😭💜🫶🏻 may I humbly request: Sasuke head canons? 💐 can be sfw or nsfw lol

pt.1 | 2 | ....

WC; 800 + | !MDNI! | TW/CW; FAB, teasing, cervix fucking, praise, degredation, size kink, the uchiha breeding kink

NARUTO/BORUTO MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

SFW

I feel like Sasuke is always cold- Like every time you two touch each other you involuntarily shiver causing Sasuke's face to contort in worry if he's done something wrong and he never fails to ask you every time if you are okay.

He doesn't admit it but he loves touching you, not in a sexual way (as much as he loves to), loves to hold you and does that childish thing of holding the hem of your shirt.

Loves to randomly kiss you, when your cooking, cleaning, or doing whatever. Sasuke hands would cup the back of your neck and angle your head up just so he can give you a soft press to his lips to yours. He loves to see your cheeks flush pink at the unexpected actions and proceeds to give you another just to make you even more flustered.

He loves to mention that you are his girlfriend/wife whenever talking to a stranger. "Me and my girlfriend/wife have to go now." Sasuke just loves being territorial but he just doesn't know it. He gets jealous easily so that's why he does it lmao.

Sasuke isn't one to say 'I love you' that often because he believes that actions speaks louder than words. He is more of an acts of service man for the both of you. Sasuke gets so nervous inside when you say you love him because he is scared that even after saying you love him you will still leave, the poor baby... 😕😭

He is so scared to fuck something up, he doesn't admit it to any one (apart from Naruto) if he's doing things right because he loves you too much.

NSFW

I personally think that Sasuke wouldn't even know what aftercare is until you tell him about it. His reaction would be like, "That's a thing?" Don't think that Sasuke would do much for aftercare, but I know that he would hold you close to him as you are family to him, girlfriend or wife.

Either loves to fuck you in missionary or doggy, no in between. He wants to see your face contort in pleasure as he pounds your pretty pussy as deep as he can. Sasuke loves to watch your beautiful face mold into the most fucked out expressions. But with doggy now... he is either going to tease you, going slow as he can, dragging his thick length in and out of your gummy walls, inciting needy whines from you. Or, Sasuke is going to be pounding into you, so fast and deep you can't even think. He gets off seeing you all helpless in front of him, the pretty arch of your back as your dainty hands grip at the sheets, your plushy breasts pressed hard against the mattress--

When you and Sasuke are having more of an intimate moment for sex, he holds you hand with his by your side, his tongue slowly exploring your mouth, inciting small whimpers from you. That just gets the man off.

Let's be so for real guys, how can Sasuke not be into fulling you flush with his cum. He loves thinking about breeding your tight cunt. Wanting to see your stomach full of his children, thinking about having to help you all the time because you can't do any small mundane tasks anymore.

Sasuke prefers to be given head rather than give it himself. Now, that doesn't mean he doesn't absolutely love eating out your soaked cunt but he just rather your tight mouth try to fit his length without gagging. Sasuke is a busy and tired man most of the time, so having his pretty girl be at his disposal for him makes him go crazy. Loves coming down your throat and making you open your plump lips to make sure that you swallowed all his seed. The other alternative is coming over your chest, he just loves squeezing them after, cfi.

Sasuke isn't a loud moaner but he deeply groans into your skin or mouth as he is either eating you out, getting head or thrusting into your folds. He occasionally lets out moans but it's only when he's coming :( He knows how much you love hearing him moan and that makes the poor man embarrassed.

I don't think Sasuke would crave for sex all the time but he definitely won't disagree to having some special time with you if you asked. He'd tease you about it, "You needy?" and then proceed to give you the time of your life. Sasuke prefers to be in more classic setting when having sex, like a bedroom but he isn't opposed to having sex when the both of you are out on missions.

He definitely doesn't like to spit on you, he values your entire existence and doesn't want you to feel any less then how you want to feel. Sasuke might call you slut or a bitch during sex but he knows you're okay with that.

Sasuke can and will go all night long, his stamina is through the roof, especially if you egg him on saying he can cum inside your sticky walls, then how can he not go all night?

Sasuke is a strong defined man, in the body of course. Defined abs and a big strong body. He is over six foot so what's in his pants doesn't disappoint.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

MASTER LIST

NARUTO/BORUTO MASTER LIST | UCHIHA MASTER LIST

thank you for requesting bby 🫶

requests are open!

#sasuke x reader #sasuke x oc #sasuke smut #sasuke x you #sasuke x y/n #sasuke uchiha x reader #sasuke uchiha #sasuke uchiha fluff #sasuke fluff #naruto x reader #naruto x reader smut #naruto smut

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for changing my Crunchyroll password and refusing to share with my brother?

So my parents (19M) got me a premium Crunchyroll subscription for my birthday last year. My little brother (16) also likes anime, so when he asked I gave him the password. We have watched some stuff like Naruto together in the past, but these days we mostly watch our own shows. My bro wanted to show my mom a clip from Dr. Stone, but she saw some “mature” looking anime in the search and recommended home page. I like horror anime, and some of it can get fucked up.

My mom came to my room and screamed at me because I am “exposing my brother to stuff he shouldn’t be seeing.” Dude has a phone with no restrictions and an internet connection. I’m sure he’s seen worse. When I tried to explain that just because it pops up doesn’t mean he has to watch it, she just got more pissed and told me I am not allowed to watch that stuff in a place he can see it.

Fine. I changed the password, kicked his computer and phone off my account, and went to bed.

The next day after school, he came up to me and asked why he couldn’t log in. I explained it to him. He called me an asshole. I told him this was his fault, he is the one who fucked everything up. If he wants an account he can try to get our parents to pay for a second one (which we both know they won’t, it’s a waste of money), or pirate stuff like he used to. Either way it isn’t my problem.

He hasn’t spoken to me in 3 days. I still think he’s being a bitch but idk, aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[obihoe]

i think its so crazy the way having power as a shinobi always seems to be such a double edged sword on naruto. like on one hand, u need it, its a tool for survival and it earns u respect from ur peers. but on the other .. it can also lead to the exact opposite. if u have too much power it can lead (or contribute) to isolation and becoming ostracized from ur community bc it makes people fearful of u .. this is applicable to madara i think and to naruto and gaara as well. madara isnt ostracized only bc of his power, it is also his lack of skill in forming bonds bc he has trust problems but his power is a major contributing factor. he is feared for his power (but also admired) and the more he gets isolated, the more he starts building his own identity around it as well and starts thinking its the only thing valuable abt himself. naruto as well is feared for his power as a jinchuuriki even tho he is also a bit of a special case since its only the grownups that know abt this so his peers ... they ostracize him for the opposite thing. he's a failure at the academy and a difficult learner so he gets no respect. it is only when he starts gaining more power (or controlling it better) and using it for the sake of the village that he gets everyone's respect and acknowledgement. he's a hero even all of a sudden. but gaara is an even more extreme case. gaara is also a jinchuuriki and he's ostracized for it to such an extent that he does not get to build bonds at all and in a bit similar fashion to madara starts self-identifying only over his power. both him and madara end up consumed by their power but while madara decides to use it for the sake of saving the world, gaara just fully decides to just live for himself, fight for himself and love only himself ... madara also becomes a bit self-absorbed but its not something he does purposefully i think. gaara just goes, well, everyone fears me and despises me anyway, so i might as well give them a reason. my only purpose in this world is to kill ... i have no other reason to live. i forgot where i was going with this but .. something something isolation, objectification and dehumanization from others on account of ur power and it leads to the person internalizing it and seeing themselves also as either below or above being human .. madara perceives himself to be above it, he develops a god complex and comes to think that he is the messiah who will solve the world's problems (with power) and gaara seems to perceive himself to be beneath it .. as a tool and a servant. both to his village and to the bloodthirsty voices he hears in his head.

#gaara #madara #naruto #posts #.. had a whole other chunk of text here that i deleted bc i thought it wasnt that relevant to the topic of thr post #but i still think its interesting so i'll put it in here #when i said gaara hears voices .. i was going to say mdr doesnt but then realized that thats not true? mdr also hears voices #presumably. he heard kuro zetsu speak to him in his head during their first (well majority actually) time that they spent together #in the cave. mdr seperates him from himself when he gives him to obt. and he seems to believe that to have been the moment of his creation #anyways but i think its so interesting how both him and gaara have a seperate identity with them that benefits from this? #they benefit from their corruption. the ichibi benefits from gaara's bloodlust and hatred and kuro zetsu benefits from mdr's power lust #and they both drive them to further pursue it ... there is something in there i think. something abt how experiencing isolation etc #will make u susceptible to ill-natured manipulation or influence. from the outside #gaara apparently can handle having to live with shukaku after he gains his first bond (naruto). and he isnt susceptible to it anymore #mdr wouldnt have gone down his path either if his bond w hsrm hadnt fallen apart #naruto is saved bc he does not give up on trying to find bonds. putting aside how it kinda sucks for him to have to prove his worth #to his village first. it is ultimately abt him never giving up. always trying ... and eventually finding the right people #to bond with #mdr never finds this up until the end of his life ... and its the reason he cant find his peace ever before #but i also think its interesting how both kuro zetsu and the ichibi .. i mean they dont outright manipulate their targets #theyre moreso just feeding into whats already there .. its why mdr/zetsu work great together narratively i think #but it also applies to gaara as well. gaara wants to shed blood bc he wants to share the same kind of pain he has experienced #just like mdr wants to gain power/become god cuz he longs for control and is fearful of depending on others #and both the ichibi and kuro zetsu want that as well. the ichibi hates how the humans have treated him. he hates being confined to #a jinchuuriki's body. he wants to be free. and if he cannot be free he will use his host to go punish the humans who did that to him #and kuro zetsu well ... he wants to be powerful i guess. but he moreso wants mdr to think that he is #so that he can become host to kaguya who will explode the fucking shit out of him #there's more even .... gaara seeing himself as a tool to others since he believes the voice to be his mother's .. and mdr seeing himself #at the center of everything cuz he thinks that the voice is his own. mdr bc of this being even more self-centered #but then also more altruistic. bc he's the savior. running out of tags here unfortunately but yeah .. much to think about

[barbi2709]

Soobin with an anime nerd s/o

Disclaimer: This and each of my stories are only fiction and are not intended to offend or make anyone uncomfortable, if this type of content makes you uncomfortable, feel free to leave without resentment :]

Paring: Soobin x gn!reader

A/N: I'm doing this bc it's just a underrated topic here (no bc I'm in my delulu moments and bc im an anime nerd myself, nonono). Also im doing this to get out of a writer block to continue with my other txt series which I haven't even started (loln't)

Our Soobinnie <3

My boy just want someone who gets just as excited as him when they watch anime :(

So when he met you he was so excited to finally meet someone like him.

Once u both started dating, anime dates became a thing really quick.

You going to his place or him going to yours to watch anime.

You both have a list of animes to watch and is endless.

You both promised to never finish an anime that you are currently watching together.

Ok, but the anime dates you have are just so cute :(((((

Like, you both with cozy blankets while cuddling on the couch and watching like 6 chapters on a raw bc neither of you want to stop watching or leave each other.

(I truly believe he would agree to build a pillow fort)

He wouldn't admit it at first but he IS into romance animes.

The most cheesy shit you can find out there, he'd be like 🤮🤮🤮🤮 at first but once you ask him to watch it together my man agrees before he can register his answer.

If you're more into Shonen and seinen, be prepared to an excited Soobin every time a fight scene come to the screen.

You both could be talking for HOURS about theories or making bets about who would win the last battle.

And also be prepared to defend your fav characters from this man *cofcofmegumicofcof*

(If Megumi hater, why so hot?)

But also my man is the type to get a little bit jealous of 2D characters, so whenever you got a new husbando please make sure to reassure him.

(Or tell your sexy bf that the character is ur fav bc they're almost as sexy as him)

Having crisis together at 3 a.m. because of the spoilers for the next anime or manga chapter that you're waiting for.

He comforts you when your fav character dies.

You both cried the shit out of you after the end of snk.

Manga shopping dates are also a thing in your relationship and I swear is the cutest thing ever :(

Like, you want that one limited edition but you think you've bought enough for the day so he bought it for you and leave it at your dorm as a surprise :(

I want him </3

Whenever he's on tour, he tries everything on his power to take you when he's going to Japan.

Or he plans a trip with you to Japan bc one of his life goals is to go with u at least once in his life.

If you can't go to Japan with him he'd buy EVERYTHING for you.

"I saw this Okkotsu plushie and bought it for you"

"I thought you'd like to have a Naruto lamp for your night stand"

:((((((

The members think you both are annoying bc of how nerds you're.

But they are happy that Soobin found someone who shared his same interests.

So now you're just annoyingly cute as a couple.

I feel like he's the one to watch "guess the anime opening challenge" type of videos.

And you both are SO. FUCKING. COMPETITIVE

He's always making rules to got one win

"Let's add the rule that if you also sing the opening you got the point"

"Binnie, you didn't knew the lyrics"

There's also dates when you both are just reading mangas with soft music at the background, no one's talking, just the comfort of each other presence.

You got him to do the Tik Tok trend of Wotakoi hands dance with you during pandemic.

At least in one of his social media accounts he has an anime matching icon with you.

I don't think he'd be into cosplay or going to conventions, but if you ask him enough times he'd be doing anything for you <3.

And that's it, love y'all

#txt imagines #txt #txt fluff #txt fanfiction #txt fanfic #txt angst #soobin scenarios #soobin fluff #soobin smut #choi soobin #txt soobin #choi soobin imagines #soobin fanfic #soobin imagines #soobin soft thoughts #soobin x reader #soobin x reader fluff #soobin x y/n #soobin x you #soobin #choi soobin x you #choi soobin scenarios #choi soobin x reader #choi soobin fanfic

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 4

Amy Rose

WAUGH okay so basically like everyone villainizes her when shipping Sonic with any other character (and 99% of the time its Amy being villainized against a m/m ship ://) but yeah Amy canonically has a "crush" on Sonic and stuff (which is weird in its self cuz age gaps and things but creators smh) and anyways any time people write Sonic in a relationship with other characters they always make her super upset and mad that Sonic isn't dating her etc etc and basically make her a pouting 12 year old because her super hero crush doesn't date her instead of writing her as a supportive best friend to sonic WHICH SHE SHOULD BE WRITTEN AS !!!! and uh yeah if you couldn't tell this makes me so upset because amy is such a good character people should stop ruining her

Even outside of yaoi, she is the most hated character in the FRANCHISE. THERE ARE ENTIRE WEBSITES DEDICATED TO HATING ON HER. HER MERE EXISTANCE CREATES SHIP WARS. IT IS HELL. EVEN THE OFFICIAL TWITTER ACCOUNT AND THE ARCHIE COMICS HATED ON HER IN THE PAST.

Not only is she a incredibly serious victim of yaoi, she is bashed in every fic where Sonic is paired with someone other than her. And when she is paired with someone other that Sonic, Sonic is bashed. And when she is paired with Sonic, other characters commonly paired with Sonic are bashed. It is a chain reaction of madness. Even outside of shipping, she is one of the most hated characters in the fandom. She was flanderized to ridiculous amounts. Even the official Sonic twitter used to mock her. Even official gaming news sites mock her, with a particularly horrible case being when TheGamer outright said Sonic being paired with TAILS is better than Sonic being paired with Amy. The amount of hate this character has attracted is incredibly large. There are entire websites dedicated to hating her.

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

#round 4 #poll #amy rose #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sakura haruno #naruto

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

After seeing your beautiful new piece with the cute vignettes of team 7+team kakashi, i was wondering — how do you feel about Naruto (the boy)?

o thankyou! ;u; my feelings on narts the boy are so torn tbh so im gonna throw my ramblings under a cut bc idk if i can articulate this correctly

og naruto narts? love him. adore him. i miss that dumb little punk kid i loved him challenging the system and wanting to change it and help people. i /wanted/ him to inspire people like kakashi and gai's gen to do the same and realize how fucked up their childhoods were being weapons of the state at like 6 and 7

shippuden narts? He just rubs me the wrong way. started out good with gaara rescue arc, but then all his pizzaz left and let his obsession of sasuke be the only priority. (This isnt his fault, but kishi writing it so ONLY naruto could kill or defeat most of the enemies with his new op move was so boring to me. none of the secondary cast got to do shit) He also didnt take one second to question if his endgoal is still the same since he turned out to be exactly the opposite of "anyone can be hokage" bc he turns out to have the specialist blood of all and got revealed as a nepo baby and chosen one. He licherally became complicit and changed next to nothing as hokage in the end. the status quo remained the fucking same. Naruto rejecting the hokage position bc he recognizes neji was right is so much more interesting to me

Naruto is at his best when sasuke isnt involved imho. I adore his interactions with everyone else bc he truly loves his friends and family, but him and sakura were so delusional over sasuke but didnt actually Know him and his trauma they just loved the Idea of him. the way they talk about it, they act like sasuke was kidnapped and didnt CHOOSE to leave and even tried to kill them multiple times. shikamaru stronger than me, it'd slap the shit out of both of them

I wish they'd head on addressed the whole "sasuke's whole family was slaughtered in front of him" together and not "you have to come back so we can be a team and things can be normal again like nothing ever happened and fight me!" naruto would be the first one to offer to pull up on itachi with him lets be real lmaoo. I wanted him to offer sasuke support to BOTH tackle the injustices of the leaf. it's kinda like hiruzens passiveness with orochimaru and danzo. never holding certain loved ones accountable he was the same way with obito and even hiruzen himself. (is he even aware of hiruzen's part in the uchiha massacre or obito killing his parents?? then pardoning orochimaru?? HELLO???)

There were moments where i did see our boy shine thru, but then the god powers bullshit hit. in short, bring back my punk little man. his pure intentions were ruined by bad writing

my naruto endgame for him is not stuck at a deskjob he hates with a nuclear family he neglects and more he chooses to give up the hokage job to someone who actually can enact change and who isnt from a prestigious family. travels around helping people hands on and finally gets the peaceful life with found family he never had. advocating better for the next gen.

part one naruto, my baby boy

#its so funny bc i defend sasuke when i talk about naruto bc he was..... not a great friend in hindsight to me #sasunaru toxic rivals kakagai healthy rivals truly #making naruto minatos son was probably the worst choice

[mixelation]

would you ever write a sort of classic reincarnation/ SI situation? in naruto or any other fandom

writer would you ever

oh yeah, sure. i have written bits of two reincarnation concepts:

one where the MC replaces Naruto in terms of plot in that she's the nine-tails jinchuriki. begs the question, "what if naruto didn't have talk no jutsu?" this one was written entirely on my phone during my commute back when i could take public transport. in other words in my head it had this grand plot but what i actually wrote was like "she runs into sasuke and itachi at an ice cream shop"

one where the MC is in itachi's class and makes friends with him on account of both being fucking weirdos. this MC is less aware she's a reincarnation and is more like "sometimes i know things, and they're all upsetting." accidentally convinces the uchiha she predicted the nine-tails attack

the latter one i think could be done as a medium-length multichapter fic, so i do have dreams of getting enough coherent pieces together to post somewhere. the first one i don't think will ever see the light of day, because it's the type of fic that wants to go through the entire fucking plot and i don't have time/energy for that

#ask meme answer

[saradesuchiha]

i don't block anyone for a reason, and this was the reason why i have done to u. spreading false information that quirrrky and i were harassing fellow stans is disappointing and disgusting.

as we ALWAYS put who are the moderators of the event. it's been quirrrky and i since 2021. i don't know where u get that information of the said acct was a host too. i just assumed u did ur research bc u have never spoke abt the event again and never apologized to us for spreading false information

as a matter of fact, i reached out to both parties involved in the said issue. i went in-between to hear both sides and what happened. even went lengths of asking native speakers to help me translate the statement to help me further understand. i was in conversation w them until everything was settled.

jsyk i am a naruhina stan, kunoichi stan and a sarada stan. hence my other handle, saradesuchiha. i do not support any character and/or ship bashing. i do not tolerate any harassment towards anyone. i always tell everyone to be respectful and treat ppl w kindness bc u don't know how much one person is going through

i'm very open abt creating a safe space for anyone to enjoy naruhina. we have naruhinamain dedicated to celebrate the love of naruto and hinata. to extend, we have a discord server we fans are allowed to discuss and share their common interests.

this is my third year hosting naruhina month. just to anyone's knowledge, naruhina month is not hosted in december bc of it's connection w the release of movie, the last.

someone reached out to quirrrky late september of 2021 concerning if there would be naruhina this year. she took accountability on hosting on tumblr and i reached out to her extending it to twitter. we were pressed for time and in need atleast few months to be considerate of participants that is why it was pushed back til december.

the following year, we have plans to host different events for naruhina. it was nearing late october and yet no one has plans to host the event yet again. someone came forward to us asking if we will be hosting again, and quirrrky and i decided to push our plans ahead, hence, the first ever naruhina fair in 2022.

this year, we both have ideas for activities to encourage nh stans to express their love and creativity, as well as having fun making it. unfortunately, both quirrrky and i were really busy and focused on our time on our personal lives. we put the plans on hold and i complete understand what she's going through.

i opened the discussion in the naruhina discord if anyone would like to host this year. there are ppl who took interest but expressed that they couldn't commit to it. i was abt to close the discussion until ate born and chloe came forward to help me organize this year's event.

now someone on tumblr going as anon spreading rumors abt me being a fake nh fan. didn't know u have to box urself to stan only one ship/character to be a real stan. i have other interests too.

as a matter of fact, before i became actively participating in fandom. i met alot of hinata and sakura stans who were very nice to me and encouraged me to draw. i love being around ppl who are open-minded and supporting both women.

jsyk i left the fandom multiple times, being cyberbullied, ppl.mocking and discouraging my art and came bouncing back for ppl who encouraged me to do what i love.

ever since 2022, i limited my interaction w the fandom bc i was getting stressed how it's getting always heated w fanwars. i signed up to express my love and creativity for naruhina and have fun.

and just for anyone's knowledge, i do have a personal private acct but i have muted and blocked naruto and boruto from there so i can have peace of mind separate accts for fandom and real life current events. i rarely talked abt anime in there. it's mostly taylor swift and my shitty day to day life. u can ask few of my friends who are following me there.

it's getting long and i'm tired. i have to face reality that i cannot please anyone. my intentions of hosting events is for creators and fans to have a dedicated time to fully enjoy and support naruhina. this will be the last time i'm hosting naruhina month. i'm not forcing everyone to join in. this event is for naruhina stans. feel free to support it.

i'm always grateful for the love and support. thank u

🌤️

#des ü sabaw thoughts #des ü nyo pagod na sa life

[madara-fate]

Being recent on Tumblr and in the Naruto fandom in general (I've been there for 04 months), this fandom has really made me see all the colors.

As a die-hard fan of Sakura and Sasuke who didn't particularly care about the prospect of them as a couple before, I tended at first to subscribe mainly to individual pro sakura and pro sasuke accounts, something I I quickly regretted it because lord, these two fandoms suck. I love both of these characters and it's very difficult to see their two fandoms being so vicious towards each other. If you don't like one of them, why talk about it? why make so many passive-aggressive comments to provoke the other party? They despise each other so much that it's difficult to have a moment of peace for those who truly love both.

And then, let's not even talk about the strange takes they have about them.

I swear if I ever come across something like "Sasuke was right" or "Sasuke Revolution" or "Sakura deserved better - that is, she deserved everything except Sasuke - or "Sakura lost all its development", I'm going to lose my shit.

Their views are biased, self-centered, misinformed and so oc for many that it sometimes makes you wonder if they even understand the characters they say they love. It seems more like they… project their problems and their insecurities onto these two and it's frankly disappointing to see. They like the fanon version of Sasuke and Sakura that they have built in their head and not their canon character and it's quite sad that such characters are reduced to stereotypes by their respective fandom. Not all of them are like that of course, but I've encountered so many of them that it ended up exhausting any good feelings I had towards these two fan bases.

All of this ended up pushing me towards the SS fandom because it's easier to find fans who like both characters. And finally, even though this fandom also has its own absurd points of view that sometimes make me want to throw myself out of a window as well as a blatant bias towards one of the two characters that bothers me, it's still better than the shit I've seen before. here at least I don't have to worry about reading crap like "Sasuke is toxic", "Sasuke didn't do anything wrong", "Sakura objectifies/is obsessed with Sasuke", "Sakura is poorly written" etc and I admit it's a relief. Plus, it's nice to see the fans celebrating them and their relationship, which is what I signed up for after all.

Not to say one is better than the other because the whole Naruto fandom is shit anyway but at least there is more room to like these two characters without getting attacked in this fandom than in the other two.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

You know, your experience of the pro Sasuke and pro Sakura fandoms hating on each other, essentially being what pushed you towards the SS fandom, kinda echoes what pushed me to being a SS fan as well. When the series ended, I was fully neutral on them, but I definitely expected them to get together because it was just obvious. But after seeing some of the absolutely absurd takes that a lot of the fandom had towards them, it made me want to defend them because what they were saying just wasn't true. So much like you, I was also pushed towards the SS fandom due to fandom hatred.

And yes, the SS fandom also has it's fair share of absurd points and biased takes, as I've certainly had to argue against some of them before. Yet, it's still better than the toxicity and the sheer delusion exhibited from a very loud portion of the anti fandoms.

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku

[joelhappyhil]

🌀

Recently my life's been taken over by DAWN, so it's time to talk about it again.

Inspired by "Battle Shonen" (the genre of anime that shows like One Piece Bleach or Naruto slot in to).

It takes robust and player-driven narrative mechanics inspired by the ones used in Sword World, Fabula Ultima, and Tenra Bansho Zero to let the players push their motivations and themes to the forefront of the story.

Paired with a robust combat system (with both grid-based, and mapless versions), players can express the more abstract parts of their character through battle.

A lot of this I've already shared in my account's pinned message, but yeah, this game is available for free in an "alpha version" on my itch, if you're interested feel free to give it a look.

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg #dawn #shonen #game design #tabletop

[whetstonefires]

I hope you're having an excellent day 😊😊😊 What about Wei Wuxian as Naruto?

Thanks! It was pretty good. I organized my embroidery floss and took advantage of being alone in the building to dance around like a maniac for about 20 minutes. My cat hated it. My knees aren't sure they approve either.

Wei Wuxian as Naruto has a lot going for it right out the gate. Orphaned sunshine boy protagonist types, now we're cooking with propane. They're even both fox coded!

However, at the risk of stating the obvious, if Wei Wuxian were Naruto he wouldn't be Naruto anymore. That is. Fundamental to Wei Wuxian is that he is brilliant and talented and he damn well knows it. He would excel without effort in ninja school--not as much as he did in Jiang Sect unless he unlike Naruto was still getting personal mentoring in honor of his late father, but still.

Difference is, when this Wei Wuxian slacks off in class and the teacher tries to embarrass him, if he reels off the correct answer and then reinvents senjutsu from first principles in a creepy-sounding way for a lark just to show off, the teacher is not going to think that he's just like his annoying late mother. (Though he'll still have one. Kushina and Cangse Sanren are fairly similar Dead Mom archetypes too.)

The teacher is going to think things like, no real child would say that shit and I'm expected to teach the monster fox that killed my family basic ninjutsu I hate this I hate this we're all gonna die.

So basically this Wei Wuxian gets his Yiling Laozu reputation mod as part of the starter pack. I don't think he'd handle it super gracefully! But not the worst, either.

Not even as badly as he did in the actual version, probably, on account of he doesn't know his own dark secret. So he can't self-isolate to protect it. Though him pulling away from people once he does learn would be cool.

He'd probably have forged slightly stronger social ties rather sooner than Naruto did, even if he was just as neglected and radioactive; Wei Wuxian doesn't care what people think of him nearly as much as Naruto does, but in some ways he's a more genuinely social person, and he's got much better social intuition, so it's easier for him to figure out what people want and either do that or not do that on purpose.

He'd have at least a bunch of casual friends. Mostly civilians, and other kids from ninja school whose parents told them not to play with him but they did anyway.

Wei Wuxian cannot do therapy no jutsu. He does not have that ability to confront and exist with emotional discomfort or that intensity of interest in what is going on with other people.

He does however have some level of Friendship Beam Attack (the plot to some extent hinges utterly on how effectively it hit Wen Ning) and it would presumably be more effective, in a shounen context.

But that's the thing, Wei Wuxian isn't really built to confront shounen manga style problems. Or, well, he is, but he's overbuilt for them; they're his bread and butter. One of Naruto's key motifs, early on at least before we got into the heavy power creep, is not being a genius.

Wei Wuxian, by definition, is a genius. He is the kind of guy who walks up to shounen manga sorts of problems scaled to what ought to be his level, handles them, and goes 'what, like it's hard?'

Wei Wuxian is designed to be destroyed not by external threats but by his own loyalties, politics, and lies. (Which was a point of confluence with Itachi I didn't really touch on because the flow was so different lmao.)

He's also, otoh, designed to be destroyed. Naruto is designed to start off artificially low and climb steadily up toward heaven. (Ymmv on how this worked out but he sure did escalate.)

You have to pick which schema to apply when performing the fusion--I mean, it's not either-or, the whole deal with Wei Wuxian is he goes through the entire arc of a tragedy and then comes back to life and stars in a romcom. These things can superimpose and stack. But there are structural decisions that have to be made early.

So anyway, Wei Wuxian as Naruto is not going to enter the Genin Team phase of life with the same priorities, even if he has largely conducted himself about the same way hitherto. 'Proving himself' so 'people will accept him' is not a motive that works for this character--you basically have to give him actual precious people earlier just to get him to care about attaining ninja rank at all.

Otherwise he would probably much rather loaf his way through his teens stealing jutsu and making trouble. Which is the well-adjusted reaction to the idea of becoming a child soldier, like. He likes recognition but 'showing off' is a reason he does dumb fun things, not difficult high-commitment ones. He's like if Shikamaru had ADHD and no parents.

Being twelve is going to make him dumber, but I can't see it making him not the kind of person who stops caring about his marks in school if the teacher is hostile.

If Wei Wuxian here isn't acting out of appreciation for the Hokage raising him, or something like that, you have to give him a practical motive to enter military service like 'Konoha stops supporting orphans out of the public purse at thirteen so he's got to get some kind of job and ninja is the least boring option' which. Is significantly less like either Naruto or Wei Wuxian in terms of reasons to do anything, and starts getting into solidly OC territory.

The whole fact that Konoha's worldbuilding centers around an attempt to move away from decentralized clannish social organization and promote the idea of shared, communal social institutions and (in theory) civil society, and the ways this does and does not work out for people especially considering it is still a relatively small military dictatorship, honestly interfaces super interestingly with how, in Mo Dao Zu Shi, one of the underlying challenges backstopping all character choice is that there is no feasible alternative to the clan system, and you have to pick a family-faction to depend upon and submit yourself to, or face the world with no safety net.

Like. Huh.

.....Kishimoto is honestly unusually-for-shounen well-grounded in the genres he's riffing on tbh, for all my bitching there were some very good reasons his work found such success; I would have liked to see what kind of story he produced without the insane pressures of the Weekly part of Weekly Shounen Jump. I wonder if he'll ever publish again. For all I know he already is lmao.

So anyway, however we manage it we get Wei Wuxian on his genin team with like. Lan Wangji and Mianmian or whoever. Actually that's hilarious. Yeah, make it lwj and lqy, both of them so done with his shit.

Setting up some wild role-reversal here--Lan Wangji being the one to go Away and Wei Wuxian asking him to stay? Or Naruto-person leaving into the dark, and Sasuke-person remaining and calling for him to come back? Either way. Getting some inversion. Tasty.

Where does this leave Jiang Cheng, though? Because in a lot of ways Uchiha 'Deuteragonist by Editorial Mandate' Sasuke is straddling both roles.

In many ways Wangxian is much more like if Naruto had an endgame romance with Neji. Which is a great ship tbh, I saw very little of it back in the day?? In a series with a smaller cast or with less Sasuke Creep (not sasuke being a creep, it's like power creep) it would probably have done numbers.

...Naruto going away for that timeskip really limited his opportunity to make connections in the village huh.

I guess it depends on the kind of narrative you're trying to put together. On one hand, you can do Jiang Fengmian as the rather-more-involved Third Hokage, with Jiang Cheng as an aged-up Konohamaru kind of figure. And then Jiang Yanli is standing in as both Iruka and. I know I know the ramen guy's name. Ichiraku. Soup! XD Emotionally significant soup!

But with a different backstory than either lmao. Kurama very possibly killed Yu Ziyuan in this universe, though I can't visualize her as a midwife.

[[[Why do I have so much Naruto lore on tap, there is no life value in knowing Sarutobi Hiruzen's wife was at ground zero of the Kyuubi attack because she was the expert overseeing Uzumaki Kushina's childbirth a;kdj;lafdks. I do not remember the things I was actually studying in high school nearly this well.]]]

(Actually Jin Ling is Konohamaru and Jiang Cheng is aged-down Asuma. But whatever.)

And in this case Wei Wuxian's genin team is Lan Wangji and Mianmian under idk who. Lan Qiren, possibly, although he seems more the Ebisu type. Lan Xichen? (It's not like he can serve as a plausible Itachi. Can you imagine.) Actual Kakashi, possibly; we can't replace everyone with mdzs characters; the cast sizes don't square.

Kakashi training Wei Wuxian is very funny to think about. He deserves this.

Or on the other hand for a different pacing and focus, the genin team is him, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli under Jiang Fengmian, who dies sometime after or probably during the climax of the chuunin exams. And Sarutobi stays Hokage, and probably doesn't die during the chuunin exams. And we aim for a Naruto/Neji kind of romance storyline lol.

What is the Lan Wangji equivalent of Neji exposing his caged bird seal in front of god and everybody and ranting (it is very unclear at what effective volume though you'd think the proctors would have shut him up if he could be heard from the stadium seating that shit was sedition) about his traumatic backstory and the deep injustices in his family's system of hierarchy? I'm gonna say Not That.

Wei Wuxian versus Lan Wangji important ideological-conflict bonding duel in the Chuunin exam finals sounds excellent though.

Either way Wei Wuxian is going to get much more thoroughly involved in the ugly ninja politics than Naruto ever did, and he's going to hate it so so bad and at least temporarily lose so so so hard. A likely story element is he becomes troublesome enough he winds up having to flee the village ahead of a scheme by Danzou to (fatally) rip the Kyuubi out of him and implant it in some thoroughly conditioned ROOT kid.

Maybe Wen Ning?? Idk. I'm mostly saying this because Wen Ning 1) canonically gets Victimized and Transformed and 2) shares some notes with Sai. And this means he's leaving, in part, for Wen Ning, which ties into some plot and character stuff from their original narrative. You could make it work.

Also him taking the replacement human sacrifice with him when he books it would be hysterical.

Anyway he's branded a missing nin and it is, canonically, illegal for him to tell anyone who doesn't already know about the kyuubi thing, so both Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji are appropriately what the fucking fuck and receive no adequate answer. This is a workable plot element.

Either the Jiangs or the Lans are the Uchiha, here, which has its own story value, lots of fun to be had. Gotta engineer a way he's protecting Jiang Cheng--does Danzou want to make him the jinchuuriki? Is Orochimaru or his replacement making a play for Jiang Cheng's bloodline limit, whatever it is, fun if it's eyeballs, and Wei Wuxian bargains to give him a jinchuuriki instead? Hmmm.

You want an inside and an outside threat, the obvious viper and the political spider, so you can silo information and make sure nobody entirely knows what's going on.

If it's Jiang Cheng who's assigned the role of bloodline limit macguffin, I have the very wicked urge to cast Yu Ziyuan as some combination of Itachi and Obito. Very Vader kind of effect.

Jin Guangyao as Kabuto, excellent, I need that innocent smile and those torture skills. This may require making Jin Guangshan much smarter than he really is just to fill out the ranks, or again you can keep Danzou as himself.

Tsunade is amusingly enough occupying an overlapping Baoshan Sanren and Wen Qing position; given one of them impersonated the other that time you'd have to do something with that. She's also got some Yu Ziyuan vibe up ofc. Tsunade just contains an entire franchise's supply of girlboss tbh.

Who could possibly stand in for Jiraiya, nobody, but at the same time. Wei Wuxian (with internal sapient asshole nuke) apprenticing under Jiraiya of the Sannin sounds like enough problem-creating goofy jackass genius clown energy in one place to open a singularity. That's too much. No narrative could survive.

Anyway someone please feel free to write this, I am intrigued but also will 100percent never ever put in the time it would take to realize any version of this concept.

#ask #hoc est meum #ramblebrambleamble #mdzs #naruto #fusion #meta #ig????? #return of the son of the jane bennet cinematic universe #fanfiction #the thing about protagonists is they require a story #if lwj is neji then mianmian is tenten #who is Rock Lee? #hard work...pays off...but lwj holds him in contempt...there is no such person???? #actually it would have to be Wen Ning #he's friends with Wei Wuxian and lwj's petty jealousy grudge is even fiercer and pettier when he is thirteen #haha then wwx casually ships lwj/lqy while lwj resentfully imagines wwx/wql #phantom love triangles that do not exist! two of them! #beautiful #if you need wen ning elsewhere then disrespect rock lee's name and plug su she in as their third #this is so fun and so not productive i have so many other things i should be doing a;ldsksdf; #i play a lot with the dog thing but i'm pretty sure #the number one creative reason wwx is afraid of dogs is just #that's a traditional way for foxes passing as humans to give themselves away #motif~~~~

[hc-werner]

The Dialectical Humanism of Big-Ass Robots: An Intro

“There’s a deep, earnest seriousness to most mecha shows (especially within the “real robot” subgenre) that implores the audience to grapple with intricate ideas and themes drawn from philosophers like Aristotle, Nietzche, and Rousseau, oftentimes complete with allegorical mouthpieces for competing ideologies.”

My high school students always lose their shit when I tell them that I, Coach Werner, also watch anime. I kinda feel bad about it. By now, I know I’ll see the excitement die from their eyes little by little as they pepper me with questions, searching for a connection with show after show after show. 

“Coach, have you seen Jojo?”

“Nope.”

“What about DBZ or Naruto?”

“Not since before you were born.”

“Attack on Titan? Utena? Tokyo Ghoul?”

“Not yet, though they’re on my list.”

“The fuck Coach? I thought you said you watch anime!”

When I tell them I mostly watch mecha, they get confused. After I explain that mecha are the ones with jumbo-sized robots, they groan. I’ve even had one kid say that didn’t count. As a general rule, I try to not let the opinions of 15 year olds hurt my feelings; I only docked his grade a couple points. 

Whatever my students may think, oversized anthropomorphized robots have fascinated me since I was a kid. Over the years, as I’ve revisited shows from my youth and found new mechanized, cel shaded rabbit holes to tumble down, I’ve tried to figure out what exactly was so appealing about the genre. There’s definitely a bit of wish fulfillment, a sorta kaiju-sized power fantasy, sure, but that’s not all of it. Same with intricate sci-fi world building, and of course the thrill of pew-pew dogfights and beam saber duels. But none of those alone seemed to account for the whole thing. They’re all fun set dressing, definitely worth a watch on their own but not enough, I don’t think, to capture my imagination for nearly a quarter of a century.

This series, The Dialectical Humanism of Big-Ass Robots, started off as a rambling, borderline incoherent and definitely substance enhanced diatribe that tried to explain how excited I was for the first episodes of Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury. It feels right, though, both the name and the bigger through line.

There’s a deep, earnest seriousness to most mecha shows (especially within the “real robot” subgenre) that implores the audience to grapple with intricate ideas and themes drawn from philosophers like Aristotle, Nietzche, and Rousseau, oftentimes complete with allegorical mouthpieces for competing ideologies. There’s also the slightly goofy and always physics-defying “rule of cool” concepts of the robots themselves–I mean, who doesn’t want to see a boom cannon with angel wings, or a crucified rage monster, or transforming karaoke jets?–that can easily be laughed off as a kid’s cartoon. Any foolhardy (read: hubristic and dumbasstic) attempt to try to find unifying threads within such a wide and varied genre has to address both of those tendencies. Here, friend, you will find one such foolhardy attempt. 

Mecha anime, more than any other subgenre, has a fundamental tension summarized by two infuriatingly simultaneous, contradictory truths:

Anthropomorphized mechs bring out the best in humanity, allowing us to overcome our flaws and leap forward into a better future.

Anthropomorphized mechs feed into the worst traits of humanity, allowing us to destroy ourselves in new and technologically advanced ways.

Those two overwhelmingly common truths, when taken together, can be summarized in fancy philosophy jargon with just two words: dialectical humanism.

Dialectics is a concept pioneered (in the West, at least) by Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel during the late 18th and early 19th century. There’s literally a whole field of study called “Hegelian Dialectics” that we’ll touch on from time to time, but the main thing to know is that two mutually exclusive and contradictory ideas are often both true at the same time. 

Humanism has a long, fraught history, but the most common Western interpretations stem from Enlightenment-era ideals. Essentially, humanism boils down to the belief that humankind can progress beyond its animalistic nature through a combination of empathy and rational thinking. Again, we’ll be touching on a whole slew of humanist thinkers throughout this series.

So that’s The Dialectical Humanism of Big-Ass Robots. I feel like mecha shows–from Astro Boy to Zeta Gundam, and almost everything in between–play with this dialectic, where the mechs themselves represent humanity’s ultimate destruction and ultimate salvation simultaneously. Sometimes we struggle to survive, sometimes we overcome and thrive, and sometimes we find ourselves transformed into an ocean of pink goo.

In this series, we’ll look at:

Magical Newtype Bullshit and radical empathy

Depression, memory, and trauma, and why Shinji can’t just get in the fucking robot

The power of music (and love, hope, and propaganda) in a transforming space city

And much, much more.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch a Tanuki pilot a Gundam.

#the dialectal humanism of big-ass robots #dhbar #HC Werner scribbles #neon genesis evangelion #gundam wing #mecha #macross #gundam witch from mercury #gundam wfm #evangelion #rebuild of evangelion #astro boy #transformers #voltron #power rangers #tanuki #suletta mercury #mobile suit gundam #gundam iron blooded orphans #iron blooded orphans #shinji #get in the robot #witch from mercury #g witch

[not-your-kitten17]

//ABOUT ME// (kinks are further down)

// Basics // 24 // Taurus // AFAB // 4'11 (150cm)// goth //

// Looks // ginger // green eyes // pale white //

// Style // outside: androgynous + goth casual// inside & private : i like to be feminine and cute and wear colour🥰 //

// i do not wish to interact with men (or male identifying) or minors please //

//Posts//

//NSFT + SFW account // posts my thoughts and wants // mainly sexual // Sometimes little (regressed) posts//

// Any domme posts i reblog is what i want done to me or want to do with a domme etc//

//Important//

Im autistic and have anxiety// please be nice // 💜

//if i message or like/comment alot,i like your blog and i am probs trying to get to know you, not be creepy// 🥺

//if you are creeped out please let me know, i never wanna make people uncomfy// 🙏🏻

// Relationship status // single // looking for serious monogamist relationship //

// Roles // little girl // kitten // overall a hugeee sub // rope bunny // baby //

// interested in // sapphic mommys preferably between 24-36 (love older women) // Uk area or long distance if you are up to one day move to the UK (i would move but health issues) // i am a monogamist, very loving and little clingy // ps : i stay up wayyy too late for my own good //

// Hobbies // listening to music // watching & playing video games // learning korean // reading fanfic // napping // collecting plushies //

// likes // Animated & light hearted shows + films // slasher horror films // winnie the pooh // plushies // cuddles // naps // gaming // horror games // weird and kinda creepy things // cats // piplup // WOMEN 😍 //

// favourites // horror films = alien + scream franchises // favourite musicians ATM = blackbrair, lacrimosa, BTS (always) and in this moment! // manga = junji ito, naruto + spy×family // Anime genre=slice of life // games ATM = elden ring, main KH series, genshin impact, honkai starrail, farming games //

// Celeb crushes // Gwenoldine christie// Elizabeth Olsen// Lady Dimitrescu (game celeb 😂) // Sarah Paulson // Hannah Waddingham // Renee Rapp //

//images of me //

//Mirror selfie// //Selfie 1// //Selfie 2//

//new choker selfie//

DMs open + asks open!

DNI if you are racist, transphobic, abelist homophobic, misogynistic or you kink shame. If you are one of those, get fucked, this is not the place for you.

// Some Favourite kinks ATM //

Huge Oral fixation (both sexual and not.) Let me suck your strap, nipples, fingers, tongue etc 🥺

MDLG

Kitten pet play

Huge size kink, i love when a women fucking towers over me (i am very short so not difficult)

BREEDING! please fill me up (with no actual consequence😂)

Cockwarming omg please😳

Huge mummy kink

Recently lactation?!

Mummys with strap ons

Being corrupted

Forced regression

Kitten play

CNC

anal

24/7 dynamics

free use

Bondage (Especially ropes, big rope bunny)

Orgasm control (my orgasms belong to my mummy sort of thing ) includes edging and denial and overstimulation

Affectionate Possessiveness/cruelty

Being used for mommys pleasure

PRAISE! praise me and i turn to putty in your hands

Praise mixed with degradation

Yandere vibes in partners like yes, make me yours and only yours, fuck me so hard i can only think of you (some types of brainwashing like clickers, jealous kidnapping too, read fantasy to understand exactly )

Ownership,possessiveness and marks

Spanking

Punishments and disipline

Breath play (choking and smothering😳)

Some somophila

SAFEWORDS AND COLOURS ARE ALWAYS MANDATORY

// LIMITS //

Feet

Incest

Cuckhold (any cheating fetish)

Abandonment

Raceplay

Aftercare denial

Vomit and scat

No safewords

Please dont say how replaceable i am

// NSFT Fantasys i have written //

Wake up call

Cockwarm

Lazy 1 + 2

Dont let them know

Mommys needy girl

Finally all mine (consented yandere vibes)

#md/lg #md/lg kink #mommy dom little girl #md/lg little #md/lg babygirl #mommy k!nk #about myself #bd/sm kink #bd/sm mommy #bd/sm blog #bdsmblog #about my blog #sapphic nsft #sapphic #lesbian #kitten pet play #bd/sm community #bdsmlife #bdsmrelationship

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted shaw pack #redacted mates group chat #redacted mates #redacted david #redacted angel #redacted baabe #redacted asher #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted darling #redacted shaw pack mates

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Married, Colleagues, Divorced

This thought would enter his mind: Something about it is definitely different. (Gaara Hiden, Ch. 1) | Ten Days of Tenzo (@tendaysoftenzo) Day 5: Kakashi | AO3 |

                          ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yamato to Kakashi of the Two Normal Eyes: Kakashi. Can I ask you a question...?

Kakashi to Colleague I Think About Such a Normal Amount: Yes, Tenzō?

Yamato: Did you date Iruka?

Kakashi: Why do u ask?

Yamato: Something Naruto said about going on outings with the two of you. Apparently, you even paid. 

Kakashi: We are amicably divorced

Yamato: Elaborate. 

Kakashi: The outings are part of our custody arrangement. The ramen is alimony

Yamato: I understand all of these words but not in this order. 

Kakashi: What’s not to understand. It’s important to model healthy separation for the kids 

Yamato: So you two did date?

Kakashi: No. Next question 

-- 

Kakashi to Standing Tenzōvation: Come sit here

Yamato to Hatake a Bow: I’ll come find you after. We’re going to get in trouble for texting during jōnin council deliberation again. 

Kakashi: I tried talking to u with Anbu hand signals. U said those were too obvious

Yamato: They are too obvious; you should see the message Genma sent me after the last council. Why do I need to sit there anyway? 

Kakashi: I want to eat with u today and if I’m not already occupied after we finish I will be caught in a meeting vortex

Yamato: Comes with the new job-title, Rokudaime-sama.

Kakashi: Not until next week, officially. And I didn’t enjoy any part of that sentence.

Yamato: Well, aren’t you emotionally forthright today? It’s refreshing. 

Kakashi: Does that mean u will buy lunch?

Yamato: You’re the one who just got a promotion. Hokage’s treat? 

Kakashi: I’ll spar u for it

Yamato: You’re on. 

--

Kakashi to Magic Mountain: Soup on your windowsill 

Yamato to Lord Sixth Flags: Thank you. You could come in, you know. 

Kakashi: U need some rest. Plus I have been assigned a mission to have tea with Hyuga-san 2nite

Yamato: That’s a new one. Who assigned that?

Kakashi: Me. 😔 I’ve been told clan relations are my problem now

Yamato: I can hardly wrap my head around you being a politician. 

Kakashi: I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around u nearly getting chakra exhaustion from a spar

Yamato: How many times have YOU gotten chakra exhaustion?

Kakashi: I haven’t kept a count 

Yamato: I have. 16.

Kakashi: That’s not bad. 1.4% of missions. Point is that’s what I expect from me, not u 

Yamato: Give me a break. I’ve only ever fought you when you had your sharingan. I didn’t account for how much stamina you’d have without it. My hospital check-up was quick and painless. 

Kakashi: Easy for u to say, u weren’t awake for the berating when I hauled u in

Yamato: Tsunade-sama or Sakura?

Kakashi: Sakura, thankfully. She still feels bad about hitting me, unlike her shishō

Yamato: Are we in trouble?

Kakashi: Don’t think so. The killing intent stopped after u woke up 

Kakashi: Sakura threatened to abandon her post and become a rogue ninja if we ever do it again, but I have a plan for that

Yamato: Do you anticipate Sakura leaving Konoha?

Kakashi: Not really. But after Sasuke I figured the other two should have contingencies, and I kept adding as u and Sai joined 

Yamato: Are you saying you have a plan for a scenario where all five other members of our team abandon the village? 

Kakashi: Don’t take this the wrong way but I have a 14-step-plan for that scenario

Yamato: Both impressive and concerning. 

Kakashi: That’s what they tell me in ninja therapy

Yamato: You have a therapist? 

Kakashi: Yeah. Don’t u?

Yamato: Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve never been more attracted to you.

Kakashi: Hm. What’s your average amount of attraction to me?

Yamato: I abstain from the question.

Kakashi: 🤔😈㊙️❓

--

Sakura to Team Thanks for Pardoning Sasuke, Sensei: reminder that our new team photo will be taken tomorrow. naruto buy a hairbrush. sensei and sasuke remember to show up on time 

Naruto: i own a hairbrush!! it just doesn’t work on my hair y’know

Sakura: bring it and i’ll help. i’m not breaking another one of my combs

Sasuke: Why do I get lumped in with Kakashi? I’m on time.

Sakura: you missed the last three years of team meetings

Sasuke: Touché. 

Sai: Do Yamato-taichō and I need to do anything? 

Sakura: i think you’ll both be fine. don’t worry too much about what kind of smile you need. be natural

Sai: I will join you early so we can practice being natural.

Sakura: that’s not what i meant. but sure we can get breakfast 

Naruto: me too!!!!

Sakura: NOT ichiraku. 

Naruto disliked “NOT ichiraku.” 

Sasuke liked “NOT ichiraku.” 

Naruto: :(((((((((((( ok 

Yamato: Kakashi and I will both have a meeting about the new housing developments first thing. I can make sure we get there.

Naruto: should u be spending so much time together?

Naruto: i don’t want yamato-taichō to catch ur chakra exaustion again kaka-sensei

Kakashi: For the last time, I did not GIVE Yamato chakra exhaustion. U can’t catch it

Sakura: debatable.

Sai: Sakura does offer medical credibility to Naruto’s theory.

Kakashi: Tenzō, tell them.

Yamato: I haven’t ruled it out.

Naruto: SEE. ur contagious sensei 

Kakashi: I miss when u all found me intimidating

Sasuke: We never found you intimidating. 

Sakura liked “We never found you intimidating.”

Naruto liked “We never found you intimidating.”

Yamato: Didn’t you make them homemade bento on their first day? Not your most menacing tactic. 

Naruto: tbh iruka-sensei and jiraiya-sensei had a lot more rules than u 

Naruto: ur gonna have to work on that as Hokage!

Sai: If you would like, I can pretend to find you intimidating. I’m a very good actor. 

Kakashi: Thank u, Sai. 😔🤘 

--

Anko to Jōnin Gone Wild: @Shiranui Genma, Married, Colleagues, Divorce: Gai, Raidō, Aoba 

Genma: Easy. Marry Raidō, Colleagues Gai, Divorce Aoba

Aoba: I understand

Gai: You have ALWAYS been an EXCELLENT Colleague, my friend!!!

Raidō: 👌

Yamato: What kind of a game is this?

Anko: Kakashi invented it. Something about it being a therapy exercise

Kakashi: Actually, my therapist advised against it. But I’m glad we have a new game. Shizune was 2 good at online mahjong

Shizune: You would be too if you grew up with Tsunade-sama. Also your next meeting is 5 minutes. I’ll bring the briefing when I’m upstairs

Kurenai: You know, as Hokage, technically Kakashi is responsible for all active shinobi. He shouldn’t be allowed to date any of his colleagues

Anko: Hahahah, government-mandated celibacy

Kakashi: I’ve been Hokage for like 3 days and none of u respect authority anyways 

Kurenai: Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?

Anko emphasized, “Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?”

Yamato emphasized, “Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?”

Kakashi: U think I don’t know a trap when I see one

Shizune: He has a picture of gljljLKHGLJ

Shizune: I would like everyone to know that Kakashi-sama grabbed my phone when I was writing that message. 

Kakashi: Aiming for meeting brief. New depth perception with 2 eyes. Talk later bye

--

Yamato to Celibacy Senpai: Explain to me how the game works again. Since we’re colleagues, we can’t be married or divorced?

Kakashi to Comrade Featured in Several GROUP Photos: It’s more of a state of mind

Kakashi: Take for example, if I had u, Yugao and Ibiki. I’d Colleagues Yugao, Divorce Ibiki and Marry u. 

Yamato: That implies you were married to Ibiki before me. 

Kakashi: Would it affect ur interest in marrying me?

Yamato: No, but I’d wonder why we didn’t get married first. We get along more.

Kakashi: We prioritized our friendship over other potential kinds of bonds

Yamato: I think we've got a pretty good track record for adapting. Besides, spouses should be friends. Anyway, none of this answers the question of why you’d suddenly marry someone else.

Kakashi: We were separated by a tsunami. U lost ur memory and I couldn’t find u so Ibiki and I got together so the kids could have another role model

Yamato: How long was I gone before you moved on? 

Kakashi: We co-parented but I didn’t move on. That’s why u and I get married 

Yamato: What if I’m more of a long-term-romantic-roommates kind of guy? 

Kakashi: I’d make that work

Yamato: In the game?

Kakashi: Sure. In the game

--

Naruto to Team Congratulations Chūbu Sai: i went 2 the yamanaka flower shop for plant food after we met up and u’ll never guess what i saw!! u know the bandana guy?

Yamato: Genma? 

Kakashi: Ibiki?

Sakura: Ebisu-sensei? 

Naruto: no. sasuke hair

Kakashi: Izumo

Yamato: Izumo. 

Naruto: yeah him!! he was buying flowers for that other guy. big stick.

Sakura: 🤨

Kakashi: That’s Kotetsu. And? 

Naruto: he was BUYING FLOWERS. for that GUY. for a DATE!!!!!

Sai: Ino tells me it is customary to bring your partner gifts like flowers to show your affection. 

Naruto: I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION!!

Kakashi: Dating Kotetsu? It isn’t. He’s in a relationship. And he’s too old for u

Naruto: DATING A GUY!!

Yamato: Why didn’t you think it was an option, Naruto? 

Naruto: i mean, everyone thinks that way about guys and girls and everyone 

Naruto: but no one DOES IT, y’know

Sai questioned “i mean, everyone thinks that way about guys and girls and everyone.” 

Sai: Is that true?

Sakura: i think this is the wrong chat to ask that question in 

Yamato emphasized, “i think this is the wrong chat to ask that question in.”

Sai: Why? 

Kakashi: I can give u a book that will explain it, Sai. Anyway Naruto, people can date anyone they want, within reason. As long as the people involved like each other

Naruto: anyone?

Kakashi: Yeah. Even more than one person at once. Right, Sasuke? 👨🏻‍🎤

Sasuke: What’s that emoji supposed to mean?

Kakashi: I just like to make sure ur phone is on. 

Naruto: i gotta go for a walk

--

Yamato to It’s Kakamplicated: I’m going to tell him.

Kakashi to Konoha’s Next Top Anbu (Not a Sex Thing. Maybe A Sex Thing): Give him a few more days, he’ll figure it out 

Yamato: …How long did it take you to figure it out?

Kakashi: I abstain from the question

Yamato: 🙄

Kakashi: Fine. 19. 

Yamato: Age or years?

Kakashi: Definitely one of those two things. Next question 

--

Iruka to Senseis R Us: What have you been telling Naruto?

Kakashi: U’ll have to be more specific

Iruka: Why did Naruto say he was going to hang out with my ex-husband?!

Kakashi: What makes u think I have anything to do with it

Iruka: I didn’t say I was talking to you. However, he was going to see your team and I don’t think Yamato-san is responsible for this!!

Yamato: I’m going to leave this one in Kakashi’s capable hands.

Iruka: Kakashi. What is wrong with you?

Yamato: Becoming a chunin at the age of 6, a strangely public black ops career, a possible attachment disorder and some very interesting tan lines. 

Kakashi: That’s the kunai calling the shuriken sharp. 

Kakashi: Also I’ll show u some interesting tan lines

Yamato loved “Also I’ll show u some interesting tan lines.” 

Kakashi: Anyway. I didn’t say much, Naruto was just curious about our history 

Iruka: We don’t have a history?? 

Kakashi: What about when I reupholstered your sofa?

Iruka: Was that... a romantic activity for you?

Kakashi: This is why we’d never work out, Iruka. 

Iruka: Because you text like a member of the cypher corps? 

Yamato: It’s not so bad. His birthday messages are very heartfelt. 

Kakashi loved “It’s not so bad. His birthday messages are very heartfelt.”

Kakashi: Thank you, Tenzō.  

Iruka: Who’s Tenzō?

Yamato liked “Who’s Tenzō?” 

Kakashi loved “Who’s Tenzō?” 

Iruka: This is going on your performance review as an ex-husband.

Kakashi: That’s fair

--

Yamato to Kakashinova: Have you seen my uniform belt? 

Kakashi to Some Kind of Wooderful: I have not. U do keep taking it off every time we eat if that helps?

Yamato: I can’t get used to the placement. But I’ll need to find it or order another one before my next check-in. You know how they are about item counts. 

Kakashi: U can use one of mine if u want 

Yamato: Your black belt which has Rokudaime Hokage stitched on the inside? I’ll pass, thanks. 

Kakashi: I don’t know why they keep putting that on everything. But u can’t see that part while ur wearing it anyway. It’s the same belt 

Yamato: Yes, but the Anbu would know it was your belt. I get enough heat for how much time we spend together as it is.

Kakashi: Favouritism?

Yamato: More like wisecracks about holding a torch for you. 

Kakashi: Haha why. Do you have a crush on me, Tenzō?

Yamato: You know the answer to this one. Next question.

Kakashi: What makes u think I know the answer?

Yamato: You’re the smartest person in this village. And we see each other every day.

Kakashi: We all have our Shodaime’s nipple

Yamato: Some of us more than most. Let’s try a different question. How many times have we kissed each other?

Kakashi: 7. 9 and a half if u count missions��

Yamato: Where are you getting the half from?

Kakashi: CPR

Yamato: Ah. So, in those nine-and-a-half moments... You didn’t have any suppositions? Inferences? Lessons gleaned from experience? 

Kakashi: Four and a half of them we’d need to discount for recall, and the last few are harder to report on due to observer bias

Yamato: The observer bias in you gauging my romantic feelings.

Kakashi: Yes

Yamato: Because you would like?

Kakashi: You

Yamato: Me to what?

Kakashi: Long-term romantic roommates, eventually

Yamato: Oh.

Kakashi: Yeah. Do you mind?

Yamato: No, I don’t mind. Maybe we can start with dinner and a walk first? 

Yamato: And Kakashi? I long-term romantic roommates you too. 

Kakashi: That’s a funny way to ask me on a date. 💘 See u in an hour?

Yamato: It’s on.

#kakashi hatake #yamato tenzo #kakayama #tendaysoftenzo #tenzashi #naruto series #mine #fanfiction #long post #team 7 #ayesha talks anime #as always. i'll ignore that some of u are late if u ignore that i am the latest ;) #one day i hope the couch reupholstering story will see the light of day #i will make no apologies for my sense of humour LMAO #except to iruka. i love u mineral water <3

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Betrayal's Bond | An Uchiha Brother's Series | Teaser

Summary: You've been tasked with finding the team of jonin that went missing on their mission to the village hidden in the stars but what happens when you take one Uchiha brother to look for the other? Pairing: Tsundere Sasuke x female!oc x Itachi (love triangle) Word Count: 1.1k~ Warning: No real warnings but this is a Naruto au so it's not gonna to match up with the storyline at all List of Terminology a/n: Ahh idk how this'll do since I mostly post Jungkook/Kpop fics but I hope you guys'll look forward to this fic! Naruto is my all time favorite anime and I highly suggest you watch it but it's not necessary to enjoy this fic. You might need to look up the meaning of some of the words but it's nothing too crazy okay okay I'm done

Starting the morning off with a rude awakening is never good and today was unfortunately one of those days... 

I jolt awake at the sound of someone banging on my front door and almost fall out of bed. "What the fuck is someone doing here so early?" I grumble to myself seeing that it's barely seven o'clock. I stretch for a second and rub my eyes before getting out of bed and putting my slippers on so I can open the door for whoever this horrible nuisance might be. 

"Why the hell are you banging on my do- Oh Sasuke, what are you doing here?" I question, bringing my first scolding tone down to my normal one. "The Hokage wants to see us. She said it was urgent" he says and walks away giving me no further details.

"Wait Sasuke! I- and he's gone" I call out for him but he disappears before I'm able to get another word in. 'Thanks for the info Sasuke' I grumble to myself before heading back inside to get ready. 

I take a quick shower, get dressed and head out as fast as I can but it doesn't seem like it was fast enough for Sasuke's liking as I see him leaning up against the wall next to Lady Tsunade's office with an irritated look on his face. "Nice to see you too Sasuke" I mumble and neither of us bother trying to engage in any other conversation before knocking on Lady Tsunade's door.

"Enter" I hear faintly from the other side of the door and walk in with Sasuke right behind me. "You wanted to see us?" I question as we both make our way over to her. "Yes, thank you both for coming in this early" she says, setting the papers she had been looking through down on her desk. "Is everything alright?" I ask as I take into account the dark circles under her eyes worried that something horrible might've happened. 

"There was a team of Shinobi that went out on a mission to the village hidden in the stars a few weeks ago and they haven't returned. It should've been an easy mission but we've lost all contact with them about a week ago" she lists off, sorting through the papers until she finds the right one. 

"The village hidden in the stars? What were they doing there?" I question, hoping to get as much info as I can. "They were meant to retrieve a certain item there that the village had planned to give us for research but I can't reveal exactly what that item is" She says, giving only the necessary information. 

"Why not?" Sasuke asks in a monotone, cocking his brow at the Hokage and she simply rolls her eyes in response, already being used to his insolence. "It's not something the public should be aware of and honestly I've given you more information than I should have" she say, glaring right back at him. 

"You don't trust us?" Sasuke prods, obviously not happy about being left in the dark about this but Tsunade just shakes her head, tired of the pushback but also trying to hold in her anger as she's known to have a short fuse. 

"Once you find them just give them this document, they'll fill you in on the rest once you get there. We never really know who's listening and like I said we do-" "Don't want anyone knowing we got it" Sasuke says cutting her off. 

"Sasuke!" I scold him, afraid of the backlash we might receive. "I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, he's really not a morning person" I explain, hoping to defuse the situation. "Sasuke Uchiha, y/f/n, you have been tasked with the mission of locating the missing shinobi and helping them complete their mission" she states before either of us can make any further comments. 

"But Lady Tsunade, usually we go out on missions in teams of three. Won't we need a third?" I question, concerned that this might've been an oversight. 

"It's a covert mission. It would make things too obvious if there were too many of you.  Plus, you're only meant to find them so you two should be sufficient enough. The shinobi you're looking for is a team of jonin so as you can see we've already put enough manpower into this whole operation as is" she explains, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her temples. 

"If I may ask, who are the jonin we're looking for?" I question, seeing as that's the most crucial information we need to complete this mission. "Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara and Itachi Uchiha" she lists off. 

Sasuke stiffens at the sound of the last name and I know from now on that this mission is gonna hit close to home. 

"Pack up your gear and head out as soon as possible" she finishes. "Understood" Sasuke answers for the both of us and makes his way out first, leaving me behind without a care in the world. 

"Lady Tsunade may I ask you something?" I say quietly, keeping my voice down so the possibility of anyone hearing is a little bit smaller. "Go ahead" she sighs, thumbing through the other documents she has strewn about her desk. 

"Why did you put Sasuke on this mission? I mean I don't want it to be seen as if I'm questioning your judgement but isn't the mission a little too personal for him? You know, since Itachi is missing?" I question while walking a bit closer to her desk. 

"That is exactly why I've put him on this mission. The mission is important to the village but it's even more important to Sasuke now that he knows. Plus it might do him some good to be teaming up with Itachi. They've never really been on a mission together now have they?" she explains and I nod my head as she finishes. 

"Yeah I guess you're right. May I ask why you've chosen me to go along though?" I continue, playing with the bracelet I have around my wrist, a nervous habit I've developed over the years. 

"You're a good tracker and you've been completing your missions with close to perfect results. Plus you're a quiet one that doesn't tend to get on people's nerves so I figured you'd get along well with Sasuke" she answers, listing off my strengths which has me a little shy, embarrassed that I pretty much fished for compliments. 

"Just take a deep breath and don't be nervous. Sasuke's rough around the edges but I'm sure you guys will work just fine together" she says while giving me a warm smile, hoping to give me some encouragement. "Yes my Lady. Thank you" I say, giving her a shallow bow and walking out of her office and rushing home.

'I hope she's right about this' I think to myself as I run through the village, dreading what is to come as flashbacks of the argument I had witnessed between the brothers comes to mind again. 

'Please Sasuke, don't mess this one up'

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