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#boundary setting
sa-kpop-tarot · 2 hours ago
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Personal reading :
We accept personal reading but you'll have to pay ( by PayPal ). So if you're interested DM me (Admin L🌸) on Instagram (@/lyssacraft_) or for Admin S🎈 (@/peaching_crossing) our price will depend on your demand :
2€ -> 1 pendulum question
5€ -> reading "past, present, future, response"
8€ -> cardinal reading
1€ per cards you demand -> drawing out cards
But we have rules for the requests : click here for more info
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sa-kpop-tarot · 2 hours ago
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Stop.
Please stop requesting reading when it's clearly written that we are CLOSED and will only answer the questions. We said EVERYTHING in our rules (some of our requests aren't even respecting them) and it's make me a little mad. At least respect our rules when you're asking something, because MAYBE you didn't see that our requests are closed. So please, please if you want a personal reading everything is explained in a link in our masterlist BUT for the kpop reading we are still closed because of the amount of work we have. I know I said there will be a reading soon bit I got overwhelmed with school, exams and personal things (same goes for Admin S🎈) and I wasn't able to do the reading and I'm so sorry about it, I hope y'all will understand. We love you a lot, never forget that but please repect our rules and rules of the others ! It's very important to respect them !
For the one who are to lazy to read everything :
- Our kpop requests are CLOSED
- Our personal reading boundaries are in the masterlist
- Respect the rules when it comes to a request
- There won't be any post soon because of an important exams.
- We love you
Sincerely, Admin L🌸
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thisdivinehuman · 3 hours ago
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beutifulbliss · 10 hours ago
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The emotional turmoil putting boundaries in place causes me should be a case study. Damn!
The simple art of saying no!
The simple art of deciding what I will or will not do.
The simple art of deciding intentionally what my life will look like and where my energy will do.
All painful, at its peak the internal dissonance is excruciating despite how confident I initially felt. I get over it eventually but gosh, does it ever stop.
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liberty-barnes · 15 hours ago
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hi so i know boundaries are important and if i don't feel comfortable doing something i shouldn't do it but can someone remind me of why that is, again? please?
cause for background, my dad asked me (socially anxious little demon who spend the morning studying in my room and was ready to work through lunch cause the mere thought of food makes me wanna barf) to go to the restaurant at the end of the street and ask if i can get their buffet-style meal as a takeaway. i told him that i didn't feel comfortable doing that cause talking to people scares me, there's always a ton of people at this time, their waiters are scary, and that i honestly didn't much feel like eating, but if he called and asked if that was possible and then made me a list of what he wants me to bring, i'd go get it for him (for the record, he hurt his right hand and it's in one of those removable cast things so it's hard for him to do stuff). he started yelling at me to "just do it" cause i had to learn to "take care of myself" and "just talk to people". i said that if i absolutely HAD to, i would talk to people but that would include me preparing myself beforehand and doing it only as a last resort otherwise i'd find an answer i'm more comfortable with. as this is an unnecessary risk for me, i prefer to go with my comfort cause getting out of my comfort zone sometimes means panic attacks and i can't afford to have one of those when i'm studying for my finals. my dad said it was ridiculous, my "fucking comfort zones are useless excuses cause you're just lazy" and that he won't always be there to do things for me. the last thing he told me was "you only care about your own comfort and screw everybody else".
so yeah, i'm hurt, angry, and feel guilty as hell, and while the rational side of me who set up these boundaries after countless hours of therapy knows that i'm not in the wrong here, the daughter part of me is crying and begging for reassurance, soooo...
yeah
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veritech-fighter-girl · 23 hours ago
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I've been thinking about something a lot lately and it's how fandom interacts with its online creators. Especially creators like streamers or Youtubers and the "authenticity" that has to be present for them to be accepted or to gain popularity. And I have a question and a thing I'm going to implement that I would like to put out there.
My question:
- Has purely online discourse ever actually changed anything?
I come from a conservative background and finding out I was queer was so frightening because my family said queerphobic things all the time. But ever since I came out, they are saying them less and I'm now in a position with my queerness and my faith to have discussions about it with them. But they were having "discussions" online with queer people before I came out and nothing changed. For years. It wasn't until we were talking, face to face and family to family that I saw real change. 
I'm not saying online discourse should go away and is useless. I think it does bring up things for people to think about. It can shine a light on situations that need to change. But that is pretty much where I think purely online discourse with strangers should and most often does end, with identifying a problem. I wish we could change the world with tweets. I really do. But the process of unlearning internalized misogynies is very difficult to do, even without that process being broadcast on public forums, like social media. And being told by hundreds of people that what you did was wrong is a lot to handle. It’s a lot to handle when only a couple of people are telling you you are doing something wrong. 
I’ve been on the internet for a little bit and I cannot think of a single instance of someone actually changing their behavior due to purely online discourse. Not one. The content creators have to take initiative in their own lives and do the work outside of social media to make changes. They need to talk to people they know, either irl or in private online discussions and work through some of their internal biases. That’s where the real progress is made. And they will mess up.
I’ve been pretty okay with my queerness for about 5 years now. And I still have internalized queerphobia. And I say/think things that I don’t fully agree with because that is still something inside of me. And they probably will be for the rest of my life. But I am trying. And I like to think I’m doing better. But those changes aren’t instantaneous and they are on going. And they are hard. And that’s just the queerphobia. I have several other internalized misogynies that I’m trying to unlearn. And it’s messy and I’m trying to put in the work by reading what marginalized groups have written or listening to what they are saying and trying to have discussions with myself and with others about the best way to move forward. But it’s messy and I screw up. A lot. I say the wrong things and I wouldn’t want that process broadcast to the entire internet. 
This leads into the change that I'm going to implement in my own online interactions:
- I'm going to keep everything I post myself (not reblogs on Tumblr or likes on Twitter) in my drafts for 24 hours or to not talk about a situation while streaming until 24 hours after its happened. Or longer, but I think 24 hours is a good place to start. 
There is a reason we can't read people's thoughts. I think a reasonable boundary for content creators to set is to ask for 24 hours to process their thoughts on a situation. From my own personal experience, when I am emotional and stressed and don't have time to process things, I find myself falling back on some of my internal biases, and those are not always good things. And I fall back on those because they are familiar and these situations aren't. And I find myself saying things I don't fully agree with because I'm stressed or emotional and I feel the need to respond right now! Because I feel like if I don’t respond right now, then I don’t care about the issue and I’m complacent. 
But I don't have to. I'm not meant to. I remember seeing a post a long time ago on here talking about how the first thought that comes to mind about a situation is what you have been taught to think by society, and the second thought is what you actually think. In our current fandoms around content creators, we want them to talk about issues immediately and to address things the minute they are out there, and I think that that is not okay. We don't give our content creators time to have that second thought. We often don’t give ourselves time to have that second thought. If I have to have a stream of consciousness on the internet 24/7 about everything, when do I have time to have that second thought? When do I have time to not be emotional and reactionary to things?
And as I've started streaming I'm realizing that's hard to do. People in chat want an immediate response and they want to know what I think. And I only stream to like 5 people. I can't imagine the pressure when you are streaming to literally hundreds or thousands or hundreds of thousands of people to talk about things as soon as they happen or when you are emotional about a situation.
I think it should be okay for a content creator to ask to be able to come back to something later, after they have had time to process it, sleep on it and talk to people they actually know about it. That seems like a boundary I would like to implement for myself moving forward.
(Also this in no way applies to me cause I don’t have that much of an online presence, but content creators should have PR people after a certain amount of “clout”. Traditional famous people have them for a reason, even if that reason is to just proof read a tweet because sometimes having a second pair of eyes on something probably would stop a lot of things before they get sent out onto the internet. And I guess you might feel that your content creator is being “censored” but honestly, your favorite content creator might not have the time to become knowledgeable about most situations and how things happen, especially if they aren’t American, but a PR person is someone who’s job it is to do just that. It would also help with mental health because the PR person can go through all the negative comments and can separate what actually needs to be addressed from people just hating for hating.)
Plus, having something in your drafts for like 24 hours means you can assess a little better if you actually want to post something. I know I have tiktoks that I make that I put into drafts thinking "Oh this is hilarious" and when I come back later to post it, I realize it isnt. Or I see things a bit differently 24 hours later, like when I’ve actually gotten some sleep. But if I had posted that TikTok immediately after I made it, then it would have been out there. If I still want to post it at least 24 hours after it's a draft, then I'm pretty confident that that content is something that I actually want out on the internet.
This isn't about a specific fandom or a specific person, these are thoughts that have been going around my head for a long time, since like basically the Dramagedons on makeup YouTube and how quickly everyone "had to have a response" without having time to think about anything critically and to just respond with their emotions. The fact that so many people, myself included, felt the need to respond immediately to every new piece of "information", was 1- exhausting and 2- felt ingenious.
I think we as humans are supposed to take our time and critically think through things. But we need time to do that. None of us are Sherlock Holmes. We can't think at the speed of light and we need time to process our emotions and our thoughts. And I think most people are trying to do the right thing. But its hard to do that when you are asked to give your thoughts immediately after hearing about a situation. I guess it might come off as "inauthentic" but even in my real life interactions, I need time to process things. I have asked for time to process information and come to my own conclusions in real life and I need to do the same in my digital life.
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Omg you're so right about people refusing to ~cancel~ the term comphet. Every time the subject has come up with my sister (self-IDed "q***r" genderist, idk if she's bi or het but definitely not gay) and I say "the term was coined by a literal polilez in a polilez essay saying sexuality isn't innate" then she'll say "yeah but people use it differently now so it's okay and valid" ... Same girl who is fine with ~canceling~ all 3 of the lesbian flags, and Harry Potter, and so on 😒 You're exactly correct, everything is open to ~cancel~ except things that make it easier to appropriate lesbianism while hating real lesbians; those must stay, and real lesbians who complain about it are clearly terfs/gatekeepers/biphobes/elitists/whatever other insult.
Side note, if you have any advice for talking to nonlesbian family members about these sorts of topics I'd appreciate it, currently I've learned to just force a smile and be like "yeah uh-huh" because I don't want to be shunned for terven goldstar crimes 💀
Exactlyyyy ty for telling me your experience 🙏
As for advice... idk chief, I'm in a conservative environment, not liberal, so these aren't exactly the things I need to defend. And I dont discuss homosexuality with my family period 💀
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unmoistened · a day ago
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i'm cracking up at the last line in my notes from therapy today. i am sincerely such a big fan of my doctor lmao
#this is my therapy set up since i can't go in anymore#pretty fucked up how a pandemic hit right after she got a therapy puppy but that's the way the cookie fumbles#he's like a mini australian shepherd & he's named Kody i think#anywho she tippy tappy types away about what i'm saying & i think that's very fun & cool of her#i get the vibe that she's sassy & mad fun to have white wine on a balcony with but that's none of my concern~~~#& i get distracted by everything & forget my ''homework'' like the old days so i take notes too#i type between 20-1000wpm so it's almost as good as recording my voice#thanks mavis beacon#u a real one#ANYWAY i'm banned from using WebMD. doctor's orders. that's what she told me after i told her i took the schizophrenia quiz 😋#not on webmd but that's a blanket ban for using the internet to diagnose myself essentially#i told her that since i can't see my organs then who am i to say they're not full of tumors & she was like 'girl this is grief'#& i was like 'girl u r so right. whisper sweet dsm-5 nothings in my ear.'#i think it's very cool that my doctor has never violated my boundaries !! i love that about her. maybe that's why i want to marry her so bad#every single time after my appointment for like 45min lmaoo#in the jessie dictionary/manual/rule book/dsm-5:::#i want to marry her = i feel safe with this person#i'm glad she doesn't think i'm hot = this person won't hurt me so they can fuck me#i would 100% make out with her rn = thank you for today's session it was helpful to me#lmaooo ok. ok ok ok. i can do this. ok.
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opheliabloo · a day ago
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hearing philza say that he’s not dad-like because he’s ‘irresponsible’ is so wild because this man does his absolute best to be accepting of everyone in his chat and encourages people to explore themselves/go to therapy/not give him money if it’ll come from things like food money and so many young people aren’t given that kind of effort from the people who literally birthed them
Being safe and accepting comes so naturally to him and that can make all the difference for a kid whose parents don’t accept them for who they are.
tl;dr — philza minecraft (affectionate)
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cheryljmuir · a day ago
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How To Overcome The Attraction To Unavailable People
⬇️Journaling Prompts Below ⬇️
One of the biggest head f*cks of dating drama is the inability to figure a way out. This can leave us feeling powerless, stuck, and even ashamed of this area of our life. Because despite reading all the dating books, watching all the YouTube videos and downloading all the How To guides... nothing changes. We still find ourselves suckered into yet another situation where we’re fed scraps, and we’re left waiting by the phone. This often compounds that niggling feeling of, “What’s WRONG with me?” What if I was to say there is nothing wrong with you. What if I was to say you will get through this. What if I was to say you simply need to use a different tool. Meaning. Instead of THINKING your way out (what to say, where to go, what to do), try FEELING your way through. Place your hand on your heart. And ask yourself:
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When he rejected me, what did I feel? When he ghosted, what did I feel? When he chose someone else, what did I feel?
Next question: What moment from your past did this remind you of? (Clue: Often a childhood memory) And: Knowing this, what do you need to give to yourself? How can you help yourself to feel better? There is a way out. And. The way out is through feeling the emotions triggered by the behaviour, finding the source, and nurturing yourself. Love, Cheryl xx PS: If you need extra help, my courses are a great place to start. They help you understand your emotions, truly love yourself, and feel safe to express your needs and your feelings. You can access the courses instantly. They are beginner-friendly and budget-friendly. Some courses include support from me, some are purely self-study. Check the enrolment page of your course to be sure. (you can also ask me) You can view all courses here Please also use code JUNE for an extra 15% off. It's valid this month.
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embraceofday · 2 days ago
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i just think its funny how i have a crisis every time i try to set boundaries
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humanwrckg · 2 days ago
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hey. idk how many trans folks follow me. but from a somewhat adult “fully” transitioned trans man, here’s a tip. you do not have to be a vessel for a cis man (or woman, idk) to figure out their sexuality. you are worth much more than being their part time therapist to make them not feel icky about sleeping with a trans person. fuck people who want to fuck you. don’t fuck people who want to learn something about themselves or feel better about themselves by fucking you. you’re not a trophy. you’re not a prize, you’re not an experiment. and you should be treated as infinitely more than that. you’re a human being who wants to experience intimacy and pleasure. and you deserve that. don’t let these nasty ass cissies make you feel like you’re anything less. do not settle for less. ever. i love you.
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w31c0m3-h0m3-7h3s3us · 3 days ago
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anyway is anybody else tired of (c) Wilbur being shown worse then he was in cannon just so (c) tommy can be comforted or is the fact that im tired of (c) tommy being portrayed like he doesn't care abt (c) wilbur but stands up to him if he's tired of him (kicking his ass when they fought / telling (c) wilbur straight up he didn't need him to be so protective of him and to listen to him) w ease in cannon or is my (c) wilbur enjoyer just showing ?
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