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briefalpacashark · 1 month
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~Cowboys and Men~ Part One ~
Synopsis : The 141 have to play cowboys.
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You sat along with the other boys of the 141 as you stared at Laswell. She had just delivered the news of your next mission.
“Well shit,” you grin widely. Why? The mission was right up your alley. You had personal experience practically having grown up in the thick of it. The boys, however. You were almost certain that none of them had even come close to anything like it.
The mission. Going undercover in an American rodeo. 
“So you want us to play cowboy?” Price asked.
“That’s right. Long enough till you find this guy and bring him in,” she stated tapping her knuckle on a photo of the target. An older man with a grim surrounded by gray hair and a killer mustache.
“Y/N you'll be the one participating in the rodeo. The boys will be your team,” Laswell explained simply. 
“Her team?” Jonny asked, jabbing his thumb at you. “Why can't I be the horse rider huh?” he asked.
“Can you ride a horse?” Laswell asked.
“Well no, canne be hard, can it?” his question had you chuckling.
“Its an invite only event, we've got a contact. You'll head out tomorrow to show him what you got. He'll slot you in where he can,” Laswell focused on you as she spoke.
“Sure thing boss,” you nodded.
“Honestly Laswell, I think I could do a pretty good job,” Jonny stated.
“The fact that you think a rodeo only involves horses proves how unqualified you are for it,” You stated.
“And you are?” Jonny asked.
“I grew up in the saddle of a horse, mate. You're looking at a genuine drover,” you gestured to your body with a smirk.
“The fuck is a drover?” Jonny asked the rest of the team. Gaz simply shrugged.
“Alright dismissed,” Laswell said. 
You were quickly dispatched to the good old US of A. You were dropped off in a random field via helicopter. Your team walked up to two men on horseback. The one on the left was tall and buff with golden hair to die for. The other was slightly shorter and stubbier. But they both had one thing in common. They looked like genuine cowboys. Hats and everything.
“Howdy!” Jonny called with a terrible American accent.
“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, shaking your head.
“Forgive him. He's hit his head a few too many times,” Price stated.
“That stunt his growth too?” The blond asked. Your laugh broke through your lips as Jonny’s smile fell.
“The one you just shut up is Soap, that's Gaz, Ghost. I’m Bravo and that’s Doc.” he pointed you all out the cowboys, tipping their hat’s to you.
“Ma’am, I heard you're the only one with experience in the saddle,” the smile the blond gave you was slightly flirtatious.
“Since I was two. Grew up on a cattle station over in Australia,” You stated walking up to him to give them both a firm handshake.
“How could you choose the military life over one in the saddle?” he asked.
“Plan to get back to it one day,” you said your attention being grabbed by his horse that tried to nibble your jacket.
“He's gorgeous. Mustang?” You asked, reaching up to brush his nose.
“Yes Ma’am,” he nodded. “Care for a ride?” he asked with a wink. You chuckled at his obvious flirting attempt.
“Sorry mate. Not planning in hoping in any saddle that aint my own,” you said, giving the horse a pat.  
“Alright, well, this is Sam, my name's Aurthur,” he stated.
“Pleasure to meet you,” Price stated spoke up drawing the attention off you. 
“Pleasures all ours, Come on by the looks of you, it seems like we've got some work to do,” he stated.
“Work of what?” Gaz asked.
“To make you a lot cowboys,” he said with a grin.
First order of business, if you were to pass for cowboys, you had to look the part. Aurthur generously offered to take you all shopping. Your choice was quick, picked out for practicality. A simple light blue button up. A pair of denim jeans, a comfortable pair of boots and your old hat. You pulled the beat up looking thing out of your bag. It was your simple cattleman hat shape, in a dusty brown colour. It was scuffed and dirty, but it was yours. Setting it atop your head, you smiled at the familiar feeling. Slipping on the dark leather jacket, you fixed the collar before stepping out of the changing room.
“Look out,” Jonny stated from their allocated seats, all gathered in front of the changing rooms.
“So how do I look?” You asked, giving them a little pose.
“Like one hell of a rider,” Aurthur spoke up.
“So so,” Gaz tilted his hand back and forth.
“Oh yeah, let's see you do better,” you said tauntingly.
“Watch a master at work,” Gaz stated. You all waited for his outfit choice. When he stepped out you almost died of laughter. Tassels, tassels and fringe everywhere. On his head sat a bright red Tom Mix hat.
“What you don't think it's good?” he asked jokingly. 
“You look like you'll fly away in a light breeze,” Jonny joked.
“Eat shit soap,” Gaz flipped him off.
“Nah, I'll show you how it's done,” Jonny spoke up. Yells of shock sounded from you all as he walked out in a pair of assless chaps. Only they weren't assless. In fact you saw a lot of ass due to the fact that Jonny only wore the chaps. Nothing else. He held a small bowler's hat in front of his privates as he pretended to act confused. He turned around, giving you a clear view of his rosy red cheeks.
“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, tipping your hat down to cover your gaze.
“You know, I don't think I put these on in the right order,” he stated. Even the Price cracked a chuckle or two.
“Might get a rash ridding a saddle like that,” Ghost stated.
“I like it,” you said. Jonny gave you a wink.
“Come on Captain,” Jonny encouraged Price when his ass was contained again. 
Price walked out in a good pairing. A deep red button up, a pair of jeans, some lovely light brown boots, a light brown fleece jacket and a white brick shaped hat. 
“Captain my captain,” You whistled.
“Where did you find that fashion sense cap?” Ghost asked.
“Quiet you,” Price warned playfully.
“You know those videos where a baby sees their dad with their beard shaved for the first time and they just break out crying,” You asked. Jonny hummed in acknowledgment.
“I feel like that with that hat he's wearing,” you whispered. Jonny chuckled.
“Alright Ghost your turn,” Jonny said slapping Ghost shoulder. Ghost slowly moved his eyes from the captain to Jonny daring him to hit him again.
“Alright, be that way grumpy,” Jonny muttered. “Guess it's my turn again,” he stated. With your help, Jonny walked out in a tight black long sleeve shirt, a denim jacket and jeans. Black boots and a brown rolled brim with a puncher crown. He looked alright apart from the obviously large belt buckle he wore. A picture of a bulls head engraved on it.
“Compensating?” you asked, nodding to the buckle, getting a bird flipped to you.
“At least his ass is covered this time,” Ghost grumbled. Gaz tried again, deciding on a cowboy version of a lumberjack. Plated shirt with a vest jacket, a dark blue pair of jenes and a black version of his original hat. 
“Careful Gaz, that shirt looks a little tight,” Jonny called.
“That's the point,” Gaz stated with a smirk flexing his biceps.
“They can try all they want. The look of a cowboy is something that comes naturally. A look, ma’am that if you'll let me say looks extremely good on you,” Arthur leaned down to whisper to you. You smirked, shrugging.
“I don't know, I think they're pulling it off,” you stated. You chuckled as Gaz tried to perform his best cowboy walk. Hand on his belt and slaughtering forward before making a gun motion with his hand. And Jonny, who pretended to slow motion, to doge said bullets.
“Yeah sure,” Arthur muttered, making you chuckle harder. As you continued to watch Gaz and Jonny make a fool of themselves, you failed to notice a certain pair of eyes set on you. 
“Careful Lieutenant, you glare any harder and he might just get the message,” Price smirked as he saw the slightly pissed expression hidden behind the skull mask.
“Don't know what you mean, sir,” Ghost grumbled before walking away. 
Noticing Ghost's missing presence, you went to look for him, finding him in front of the many hats on display.
“Having trouble choosing?” You asked, walking up to him.
“Any pointers?” he asked.
“Can't help you there. This was my uncle's hat. He lost it when I won a bet,” you said.
“But,” you trailed off, your eyes searching through the hats. You smiled, reaching out to grab one.
“Yeah, this one,” you said, placing it on his head. It was low and pinched a grayish black.
“Yeah, that suits you,” you stated simply with a satisfied nod before walking away. 
When you all returned to the ranch, Simon changed into his outfit. Black jeans, dark brown boots, a black leather jacket and dark grey button up. On his head sat the hat you chose, and he still wore his skull balaclava.
“Well hello handsome,” Jonny called as he walked out to you.
“Zip it Mc’tavish,” he grumbled. Jonny chuckled as he walked up to you. In the pen Arthur walked out a horse already saddled up. Spotting other ranchers gathering round to watch with eager grins, you quickly assessed what was happening. It was a bucking horse, or at least one they were trying to break.
“Alright, lesson one of being a cowboy. Staying on a horse that doesn't want you to stay on,” Arthur stated with a wide grin.
“Any volunteers?” he asked. You chuckled, shaking your head as Jonny raised his hand eagerly.
“Love the spirit scots, man. This here is Bessy,” Arthur said, gesturing him forward. You whipped your mouth as Jonny confidently made his way into the pen.
“Ello Bessy,” he smirked. 
“I'd say goodbye to your balls now Soap, while you have the chance,” you called out to him.
“Ah, away with ye. I'll be fine,” Jonny waved you off.
“He's gonna eat shit isn't he?” Ghost asked folding his arms over his chest.
“All five courses of it,” you chuckled, pulling yourself up to sit on the railings. 
“He has medical cover right?” you asked Price that only shock his head at his soldier stupidity.
“Alright Soap. hold on tight,” After Arthur gave him a basic run down and when Jonny was sat comfortable in the saddle did he stepped back.
“You're gonna set a timer, wanna make sure there is proof when I stay on longer than those bastards,” Jonny nodded back to you all, giving you a wide confident grin as the horse started to pad at the ground.
“Sure thing, champ,” Arthur grinned. “Go on, give her a kick,” he suggested casually, taking a few cautious steps back. 
“What like this?” Jonny asked, kicking his heels gently into her sides. 
You knew pigs couldn't fly, but Jonny sure could. One buck had the poor man was out of the saddle onto the horses ass, then the second buck had the man cartwheeling through the air before landing flat on his ass his legs split in front of him. You and Gaz was practically dying of laughter as Jonny rolled around in pain holding his manly jewels. After Jonny’s poor first display, the ranchers started to pass around bets. 
“Who's next?” Arthur asked, turning to you lot.
Gaz sat on the back of Bessy looking like he was about to shit himself.
“Ok what do I do?” he asked shakily.
“Hold on,” Arthur stated simply.
“I know that, but I don't know the first thing about horses. Do do I pat it?” he asked.
“Sure, it probably won't do you any good though,” Arthur shrugged walking back.
“Come on Gaz,” you called encouragingly.
“I changed my mind, I want to get down,” Gaz stated. As he shifted his weight in the saddle, Bessy fell into a fit. Bucking and kicking like crazy. Gaz lasted about four seconds before he was bucked off. 
“This is bullshit,” Gaz grumbled, limping back to you trying to remove the dirt from his mouth. 
“Are the betting on us?” Jonny asked nodding to the growing group.
“There ranchers, this is probably the best entertainment they've had all week,” you stated.
“Yeah well they should stop,” Gaz grumbled.
“Why? They're actually betting in your favor,” you lied.
“Really?” he asked with a small grin of hope.
“No,” you chuckled, shaking your head, Gaz's smile instantly falling.
“Your acting way too high and mighty or this,” Gaz stated.
“I think I'm acting the right amount of high and mighty for my skills,” You shrugged.
“Skills we haven't seen yet,” Gaz grumbled.
“I don't need to prove anything,” you shrugged.
“Well, if ye so confident in yourself lass. How bout a wee little bet?” Jonny asked.
“Depends on what it is,” you smirked. With the smirk Jonny already knew you accepted the bet. 
“If anyone of us can last longer than you, you owe us all a week of sick leave,” Jonny put the offer forward. In the military you need a doctor's note or your medic's permission to have a sick day. Which was practically impossible to get. You don't abuse your power but you didn't put up with their bullshit either. So they only ever got sick leave when they were actually sick. And not a man cold either, they had to actually be sick.
“And what do I get?” you asked.
“Bragging rights?” Jonny suggested.
“I'll settle for a picture of you in the outfit you rocked back at the shop,” you stated, pointing to him. Jonny grinned widely.
“Deal,” he said as you too shook on it. 
“You ready, boss?” Jonny asked, turning to Price.
“A week of sick leave, you said?” he asked, debating if he wanted to be a part of your shenanigans.
“Yes sir,” you nodded. 
“Right,” he muttered, pushing his hat further down on his head before slipping in the coral and shaking his jacket off his shoulders.
You had to give it to Price, he was pretty good. And he looked like he stepped right out of a cow boy movie. The mustache and the fit was just perfect. You sucked in a breath as he was thrown from the horse. Impressed cheers came from the others. He lasted almost ten seconds.
“Ghost?” Jonny suggested.
“I prefer to keep my balls unpopped,” Ghost grumbled.
“Guess that's me then,” You spoke up. Walking up to Bessy you smiled brushing her nose before walking round her to where Arthur stood.
“Need a hand?” he offered.
“Nah mate,” you said effortlessly, swinging yourself up onto the saddle and taking the reins in hand. The familiar creak of the leather saddle and the ruff feel of the reins was welcoming. You settled into the back of the saddle, leaning back slightly. You pressed your hat down far enough down your forehead that the only thing you saw was your hands and the horse's shoulder blades.
“Alright, lets fucking do this,” you whispered before gently kicking her. You leaned back as far as you could and pulled the reins tight as she bucked wildly. Your body was jerked about left and right back and forth, yet you held on. The boys had to admit they were impressed. The ranchers cheered as the seconds drew on. As you hit the thirty second mark you swore as the horse slammed up against the side of the railings. To avoid you leg getting crushed you lumped off, the force sending you flying over the fence, right into Arthur who just happened to be sitting stop it. The two of you hit the ground in a cloud of dust. A relatively soft fall for you due to you landing on the cowboy.
“Fuck you alright?” You asked as you quickly hopped off the poor man.
“Look at that, falling for you already,” he groaned, painfully accepting your hand to help him up.
“That line usually work?” you asked with a small smile. You had to admit he was kinda cute.
“Well I don't usually have pretty women tackling me off the fence but here we are,” he said. You chuckled, shaking your head picking up your hat.
“How long was that Jonny!?” You yelled across the coral.
“Too fucking long!” he yelled back. You grinned smugly making your way back over to the boys.
Gaz and Jonny were adamant on getting those sick days. Price opted in for a few more tries, coming only four seconds from your record before he called it quits.
“Not gonna have a go Ghost?” you asked nudging his side.
“Risk getting hurt before the mission, not likely,” he stated as you watched Jonny narrowly avoid a broken bone. 
“Fair enough,” you muttered. The boys could not beat your best. With bruised bodies and prides you all retired to your a few spar rooms in the bunkhouse.
The next morning, you all gathered before dawn. Arthur said you were gonna learn how to ride. The boys walking a bit slower than they usually would. You were all assigned horses. Ghost and Price and Gaz were going well after some instruction. And Jonny. Well let's just say he wasn't built to ride horses. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Loud laughs sounded as the horse started to trot slightly, sending your little scotsman's bouncing rapidly in his saddle.
“Fu-Uck En H-EL-LL,” he said through bounces as his head bobbled around. You rode up to him gently pulling on the rains to get the horse to slow down.
“Come on Mate. your ancestors road these guys into battle,” You said.
“Nah, these are American horses. If it was a scottish horse I would be grand,” he stated definitely. Amused by his logic, you just shook your head. To your surprise, Simon pulled up on the other side of Jonny. “Having a bit of trouble there?” Ghost asked smuggle. “Fuck Ye LT,” Jonny grunted, trying to glare only for him to slid sideways in the saddle. You reached out holding his jacket to keep him steady as he readjusted. Ghost smirked before trotting forward. You rode up to his side looking over his posture, one hand resting on his thigh, the other holding both the reins. 
“You’ve done this before,” you stated.
“When I was a kid,” he muttered.
“It shows, You're a natural,” you said.
“Not as good as you,” he said.
“Oh stop it, you'll make me blush,” you grinned. He glanced over at your smile, grunting in response.
“So this is your dream, huh?” he asked. Your grin turned into a fond smile.
“Yeah. I want a nice plot of land in the tablelands,” you stated.
“Table lands?” Ghost asked.
“I'll admit you guys have some nice green pastures in England. But the tablelands. Man, it's something different altogether. Rolling green hills right out of a picture book. It's high up, lots of rain, and rainforests. Fog will roll over the hills in the cold mornings and arvos. I'll have five horses, shit ton of chickens and cows. Maybe a goat or two,” your shrugged. “Two dogs. One working kelpie and and little staffy,” you continued.
“A big old cottage that I built myself. Oh, it's gotta have a basement. Definitely a secret passage. Maybe a fake skeleton chucked in there.” your words had Simon smiling as his eyes settled on you. Settled on the sparkle of your eyes as you described it all.
“Oh and there will be this big ol tree. If I have a family I'll string it up with fairy lights and lanterns. I'll invite you boys round for week long adventures. Big ol fire place next to it,” you reminisce of a life that you possibly might never get to live. After all, your job wasn't necessarily safe.
“Oh so I’m a part of this future huh?” he asked. The instant your gaze turned to him he realized what he said. His face flushed as your smile became impossibly brighter.
“Of course,” you stated simply. Only when you did think of all those things you left out one key part. Whenever you thought about your future, the annoying prick in front of you would pop into the frame. Helping you build the cottage. Putting one of his masks on the fake skeletons. Him in the tree hanging up the lights. Him sitting next to you around the roaring fire. Clearing his throat his face flushed deeply as he looked back to the path in front of you. You didn't see the flush though. You simply saw him avoiding your gaze. For a moment, he wondered if he was having a heart attack. He thought it was the only explanation for his rapid heartbeat.
“Were going for a run care to join?” Arthur called back to you.
“Sure,” you called back. 
“So you ready to show me just how good you are?” You leaned over to Ghost with a taunting
“Perhaps,” he grunted.
“First one to the tree up on that ridge,” you suggested.
“Are we betting anything?” he asked.
“Bragging rights?” you shrugged. “On three?” you suggested.
“Alright, three,” he stated kicking his horse into a gallop. An excited grin stretched across your face as you did the same. The cantering group let out exclamations of surprise as you two zoomed past them in a full gallop. Even with his headstart you quickly caught up to him. Riding would forever feel different to everything in your life. It felt like flying, but so much more magical. As you were neck and neck you looked over to Ghost who looked to you. With a wink, you dropped the reins, opening your arms out as the horse pulled forward. You won by just an inch. 
The next day it was game time. You were strapped up and dressed up for your rodeo. You left a little earlier than the boys. You were hanging around beer in hand playing the part as Arthur introduced you to a few people. Chucking your watch you glanced at the time.
“They should be here by now,” you muttered.
“Speak of the devils,” Arthur muttered nodding behind you. A low whistle left your lips as you took them in.
As everyone took them in. Women, buckle bunnies and men had their eyes set on the group. They looked like a master piece of hot manliness. And you had to admit they looked good enough to have anyone's panties dropped with just a word. There boots kicking up dust as they strutted through the crowd. You swore the music was perfect of their entrance, looking like a scene out of a movie.
“Boys,” you nodded to them as they approached.
“Anna,” Price nodded to you. Your cover name for the mission.
“Come on, I've got to introduce you to someone,” Arthur stated beckoning you all over. You sucked in a small breath as he took you all to the target. 
“Tommy,” Arthur greeted the man like old friends.
“Arthur, how are you, my boy?” he asked. He was an older man, a true cowboy.
“Good Good,” Arthur nodded as they embraced.
“So you're the one Arthurs has been speaking about. You should know outsiders aren't usually welcome here,” the target stated as he turned to you.
“What scared of the challenge?” you asked with a teasing smile. The man paused a beat before breaking out into laughter.
“She's a spunk fire all right. Name’s Tom, everyone calls me Tommy,” he greeted holding his hand out to you.
“Anna,” you introduced yourself.
“Anna, you dont look like an Anna,” he said.
“Oh yeah, what do I look like?” you asked.
“Some real classy name. Like Evangeline or somethin,” he stated.
“Well, you certainly look like a Tommy,” you said.
“Why thank you ma’am,” he tipped his hat to you.
“And who are these fellas?” he asked turning to the boys.
“I'm her manager, Cole,” Price introduced himself. “These boys are on the team,” he stated, pointing to the rest who gave nods.
“I see, well fellas I'll see you out there,” he stated giving you another nod before walking off.
“So we grabbing him?” Jonny asked.
“To many people here,” Price mumbled.
“After the main event you'll have your chance, that's when he goes home,” Arthur said. You nodded, glancing around you. Fancy profession buckers were walking all round you. 
“Nervous Darling?” Arthur asked. The boys gaze snapped to him, some pissed of some surprised. The way American men say darling is just something different.
“I'm about to strap myself to a state of the art bucking horse. Of corse im fucking nervous,” you muttered.
“Don't worry. Come on, there are some other events before. Let's get you warmed up,” he stated. You needed to keep your mind occupied, so you agreed. Steer wrestling and roping was your go to. You didn't place first in anything but you didn't do too bad. The boys looked at you in a different light as you rode beside a young bull, jumping off your horse to wrestle it to the ground, flipping it over and tying its legs up. 
“God damn,” Jonny whispered as you stood to your feet holding your hands in the air.
“She's good, really good,” Arthur stated as he stood by the boys.
“That's our girl,” Price stated simply.
“So, what are you lot to her?” he asked.
“What?” Gaz asked squinting at the man.
“You lot seem real close. I know you're a team but I don't want to step on anyone's toes, I'm a gentle man like that,” he shrugged.
“What do you mean step on anyone's toes?” Price asked, his arms folding over his chest taking on the protective dad stance.
“Look if she's spoken for I'll back off. But I don't see no ring, and she calls you all by name. No pet names,” Arthur trailed off before turning to Ghost.
“So I guess im asking what are you to her,” the question was pointed at Ghost the boys quickly catching on. Ghost turned fully to him tucking his hand under his arm pits where his guns sat, hidden by his jacket. Although he made a point to let the smooth metal peek out.
“I'm the guy that fucks you up seven ways to Sunday if you hurt her,” his voice was deathly low, shaking Arthur up a bit. Yet it was Simon's glare that had the man really scared. 
But he also got the answer he wanted.
“So she's available?” Arthur pointed out with a grin.
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=Cowboys and Men = Part Two here=
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~COD Master List Here~
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cryptotheism · 11 months
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Lilly: Good morning New Babel, you're listening to Screw Loose, your favorite early-morning exo rig and rig maintenance rig show this side of the white river, I'm Lilly.
The Bear: And I'm the Bear, and you- are on the air. What can we help you with?
Caller: Howdy girls! Togen, from the South Teykile. I've got a bit of a mystery for ya, I was hoping you could help me solve it.
Lilly: Oh lovely! I think we're ready to sleuth.
The Bear: What the problem doll?
Togen: So I'm a boatwright. About a month ago, I'm on the job in a Wylan Mastiff UD-940. I'm lifting a panel of ship-chitin that weighs maybe 1000 kilograms, and I can feel the exhaust channels getting hot.
The Bear: Uh oh.
Lilly: Uh oh indeed.
Togen: I figure I'm overcycling, but the Mastiff can pull 1000kg easy right? So I put down the panel, and suddenly, BOOM! Radiator explodes right out of the chassis! I can hear the I-bolts ping against field tech's facemask!
[Both hosts begin to laugh]
Lilly: Huh!?
The Bear: Okay okay hold on a second-
Togen: I've got an insulated undersuit, but the radiator is just full-on burning at this point. Now, I'm not about to jump into the Occimedian with my rig on, so I slam the emergency kill. So now I'm lyin there, facefirst on the dock, hollerin for the other idiots to put me out!
The Bear: You had an extinguisher right?
Lilly: Maybe someone had a drink?
Togen: Well...Okay so get this. The yard has an extinguisher. That's union. But before someone could grab it, one of the boys uh, relieves himself, on the radiator.
[The hosts are silent for a moment, but can't keep it going. Lilly snorts loudly as she laughs.]
Togen: Hey it worked! Problem is, the damn thing hasn't been running right ever since. I replaced the radiator that evening, but for some reason I'm only getting about 70, 80 percent torque when I lift, but its only from certain positions. I've taken the thing to two different shops at this point, and they both said that everything looked fine. I’m at the end of my rope here ladies, can you help me?
Lilly: Sleuthing hats on!
The Bear: Well sir, I think I know what your problem is. You set yourself on fire, and then someone pissed on you.
Lilly: Yeah! Just tell the boys at your local rig shop, they'll know what to do.
[The hosts pause for a moment, deliberating]
The Bear: Well damn Togen, you've given us two mysteries for the price of one.
Lilly: First, we gotta figure out why your radiator exploded. Then, we gotta figure out why your lift capacity is damaged. Okay, replacing the radiator was the right call, did you have them look at the recycler? 
Togen: Yeah, when the first guy said it was fine, I took it to the second shop, and they said the recycler was probably running cold in the early morning air, you know, building up heat in the radiator. 
[lilly scoffs]
The Bear: That guy didn’t know what he was talking about. The recycler generates a ton of heat. While your rig is live, they’re actually floating in coolant because they generate so much heat. 
Lilly: Hmmm. Did you have any custom work on the Mastiff before it exploded?
Togen: Yeah. Lets see…I had the 8-cell replaced with a 10-cell, added a fluid circulator, and full weatherizing. Tubes, seals, soles, the works. 
The Bear: The weatherizing, synthetic or biosynthetic?
Togen: Biosynthetic ma’am. 
The Bear: Here’s what I think happened. Whoever shopped your rig under-tightened the bolts, and used overripe sealant. See, the biosynth sealant that Wylan uses is self-repairing, and it feeds on heat. I bet that when they replaced your power supply, they left a gap, so the sealant started growing into your radiator channel, sealed it up like a pressure cooker and BOOM. 
Lilly: Okay love, when you try squatting to pick something up in the rig, is there chugging from the leg hydraulics? Or is it more like the force just hits a wall at 70%?
Togen: There’s definitely chugging.
The Bear: Have you checked the tubing rings? You might’ve vented some heat onto them during the explosion, caused a hairline breach?
Lilly: Bearie dear I have a hunch. If he burned the rings he’d know. They’d pop right out as soon as he tried to squat. Follow me here.
The Bear: Uh oh.
Lilly: [starting to laugh] No! Listen! Okay you said you added a fluid circulator right?
Togen: Yes ma’am.
Lilly: Listen! Okay! Love! Here’s what I think happened! So urine has both salt and uric acid in it right? Both corrosive substances. I’d bet my bonnet that when you hit your kill switch, it took a moment or two for the circulator to spin down. There was probably already some urine in your radiator. That urine had enough time to get circulated into your hydraulics, where it’s been sitting, corroding your internal glide sheathes. 
The Bear: [laughing] Oh my lord that has to be it. Yes. Yes! That has to be it! Here’s what you’re gonna do, doll. You’re gonna take it to the local garage. You’re ask them for a total flush. Your biosynthetics should heal within a week. 
Lilly: And while you’re there, have them check the I-bolts on the new radiator chassis! 
The Bear: How’s that sound doll?
Togen: Well gosh ladies, I’m gonna be honest. The boys at the shop yard have a betting pool on just what was wrong with the rig, and I think all of us might owe the two of you some money. Thank you so much!
[The hosts laugh]
The Bear: Good luck doll!
Lilly: Thanks for your call! 
[The show transitions to commercial]
(If you want to read the full novel in this universe, Amber Skies is linked in my pinned post)
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signedkoko · 5 months
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Howdy!
Could I ask for romantic headcanons for what initially makes Blitzø, Stolas and Millie fall for the person they're interested in?
Hope that makes sense lol. Much love to you <3
Blitzo | Millie | Stolas [Romantic]
In which their initial interest in you begins to flourish
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It was a tough mission, one far before Blitzo had formally established IMP
It was just him and his gun, payed hefty cash under a table to take care of a target
He hadn't expected the target would notice him, and the tables would turn so quickly
With his back pressed against the floor, and a gun placed firmly into his skull, he surely thought that was it
But the first shot was drawn not by the target, but another demon wielding an old shotgun
Blood was everywhere, splattered across the ceiling, himself, and you
And good lord, did that crimson ever bring out the colour of your eyes
One of those stupid slo mo scenes in his mind, at least until he realised you'd killed the target before he had- and- wait, why were there two of you?
" Good call on the client for bringing in a backup plan, huh? You ain't bad but you could be better. "
You had helped him back home after that, and to his surprise, split the cash amount equally, citing something about how bait was just as important as the kill
Since then, you were the only thing on his mind, and his new shining obsession
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Growing up in Wrath, Millie was well acquainted with those around her, and found it easy to spot someone who wasn't local
And boy, you were anything but local
The delivery person who dropped off supplies for the ranch from various rings, you looked nothing like the folk around here, far more...modern
Eventually, she happily took up the 'chore' of handling drop offs and pick ups just for an excuse to talk to you, and learn about you
Your stories of the other rings drew her in, feeding the yearning she had to adventure amongst them
Her parents preferred to keep their rowdy girl home, where it was safer, but when you offered to take her with you on a delivery to the pride ring, she begged her parents until they reluctantly agreed
Not that it mattered, she would have snuck out if she had to
You brought her up to the pride ring, showed her the sights and even let her speak to one of your other clients, IMP
Thanks to you, she eventually got a job with them, and she still insists on taking care of any of IMPs drop offs
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Stolas often felt isolated in the place he was pretty much forced to live in and continue to work from day in and out
Always the same faces, the same servitude, the same job, nothing ever changed
The only people he got 'close' to were other royals, since everyone else had to bow their heads to him and followed the speak when spoken to mentality
But like every royal, there were a few ceremonies and festivals he had to attend to where he got to interact with the denizens of hell in a more refreshing manner
That was where he met you, at the winter solstice celebration, which was annually held in the pride ring
You were a descendant of the former event runner, now tasked with welcoming the prince and shifting the temperature cycle of hell through an ancient artefact
Stolas found you far more welcoming than the last, having invited him into your home the day prior so he didn't have to travel so early, and asking him many questions of how his experience of it was in the past
This year, he opened the gate to the mortal sky far wider, and for longer, as a small gift to repay your kindness
He hopes you consider a summer solstice event, so he can see you more than once a year
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Author's Note - Thank you so much for requesting!! I decided to be a lil creative and make something neat up, I hope it was to your liking!
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I have the smallest crumb of a theory. But what if howdy is mean to Latter because he’s self-conscious of being the only caterpillar (and repressed) and takes it out on his brother as a consequence. Because social expectations at the time gave him an excuse to do so?
no. ok. hoo boy. Allow Me To Be Insane Over The Most Prominent Thought I've Had Since Seeing The Update (about howdy)
i will try to be as eloquent and articulate as possible. ahem:
THAT FRUITY ASS CATERPILLAR IS REPRESSED AS FUCK, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?? MY GOD. HOMEBOY HAS ISSUES STACKED ON ISSUES. GET HIM SOME THERAPY.
ok. ok ok ok. Now allow me to be articulate and eloquent
so obviously Howdy is almost certainly queer in the men-loving flavor. if i'm wrong about this my confidence will never recover. But I'm Willing To Take That Chance. so he's definitely queer, right? his.. well his everything points to it, but the final nail in the coffin are his rainbow suspenders from the group Homewarming artwork from Eddie's prolonged breakdown.
but this update i think showed us deeper into that part of him. and i take the shipping goggles off for genuine analysis, so when i say this i believe that there is Serious Evidence and seems Genuinely Plausible - if Howdy doesn't have feelings for Barnaby, i'll eat my cat.
the above is important to say because it Directly ties in to how Howdy treats Latter AND Eddie.
so. Howdy is likely gay or bi, what have you. i'm guessing gay. he obviously has feelings for Barnaby. SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS that i don't think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because of the caterpillar thing, I think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because Latter is genuine and Howdy is not.
what does this have to do with Eddie? well. look at Latter and Eddie in relation to each other. they're both... how do i say... Open. and not - not effeminate, but yes, for lack of of a better word, effeminate. just enough to make one go "huh." and Howdy treats them the same way - dismissive, apathetic, one could even say avoidant.
i wouldn't be shocked if Howdy picked up on their queerness (and if Latter isn't queer, his comfort with himself / his behavior & interests) and is on the defensive about it - likely subconsciously.
and with Latter specifically. Howdy could have also picked up on the way his other family members treat him if they're all also dismissive - as Seeya seems to be as well. i mean, it fits right in line with the time period! homophobia - internalized in Howdy's case (again, most likely). the blatant favoritism, the dismissive nature, it all adds up. even if no one outright knows, that subconscious recognition (or outright suspicion!) will do this
i mean, Latter makes me think of two things. 1) being the only queer kid in a family (especially large). 2) being a middle child. there was a third but i forgor. it felt important! it's gone now! anyway it's also Super telling comparing how Howdy treats Latter (emotional, earnest, open) to how he treats Beeya (oozing stereotypical masculinity)
tl;dr so i don't think it's really "expectations giving Howdy an excuse" as it is "subconscious / internalized homophobia causes Howdy to act the way he does"
as always, take all this with a Hefty grain of salt!
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mossdoesartshit · 2 months
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extermination day extermination always irritated vaggie. She had developed a major dislike of it upon being dropped into hell for showing mercy, which shouldve kept her in heaven than get her booted out, but she had found the love of her life here, so she couldnt complain. After the battle during the old hotels time, the exterminations had become far more erratic. sometimes theyd be only a month or so away, sometimes over a year. she had no doubts it was entirely because of lute, which she wasnt too fond of, but what could vaggie realistically do, her old sister in arms had always been a bit of a nutcase. besides, she had bigger fish to worry about right now. she and charlie were doing a headcount of people who had been in the hotel that day, (alastor, husk, nifty, the usual people, along with some hopefully quests to be) and there was one person distinctly missing "do i have to go get him?" vaggie asked, exasparated "come on please? he should be somewhere on the upper floors, i saw him walking up before the bell rang loud, besides you always have your weapon on you!" charlie begged, earning agreed mumblings of the others "If Safety Is Your Concern, Trust Me Vaggie, I Will Be Able To Handle Any Possible Nuisances While You're Getting Mister Bleeding Heart Back" alastor piped up, with that sickeningly sweet grin of his. She rolled her eyes, and groaned out a soft "fiine" as she moved to go up the hotel. Thank Fucking Lucifer that he had installed an elevator into the hotel, because boy howdy if vaggie had had to walk up the flight of stairs just to get Adam she would not have even considered it. Eventually, she found him on the roof, watching the carnage. "come on Adam, i know youre probably so fucking hard about all the destruction and shit, but you wont be safe from them killing you" Adam didnt turn to look at vaggie, instead closing his wings around himself as best he could, and "I can still recognize them you know" "huh?" with one wing, adam pointed down to two exterminators "that right there is lyre, ruthless as ever, but she has that methodical work flow, kind of like a dance. i think they partnered her with a newbie, which is good- well. bad, but. good from a combat standpoint- because she'll get good pointers at the end" vaggie looked down at the next group of exterminators that adam pointed to "over there is janatha, still fumbling with her stabs and pierces as ever. shes in a bigger squad, but they always worked well together, even if theyre a bit chaotic" an explosion blew up relatively near them, and adam looked over to it with sluggish movements "must be lute... say vags-" "vaggie." "-vaggie, do you remember flute?" "huh? you mean lutes sister?" "mmhm, lutes always been pretty ruthless, but that can leave her open at the back, flute would have covered her but. i think she was killed a few exterminations ago, the one that weapons dealer got. i think theyve tried to pair her with others but i always see her alone" vaggie stood there stunned "i. didnt think you were telling the truth when you said you recognized me. i thought you'd been bluffing or that lute had told you, given..." "well, thats the view souls have of me i suppose. liar down to a t. but i do recognize all of them. i just regret that my blind rage cost the lives of several of them and... lutes arm" another explosion closer to them alerted vaggie to grab adams shoulder "come on, charlies going to get worried if you keep me standing here, cant have you getting killed now that shes done so much work on you" "whatever you say vaggie" adam said, solemnly looking behind to where theyd spotted lute, before walking with vaggie to the elevator to get to the more bunkered area
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dreamerinthemoonlight · 4 months
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Taking them Home to Meet the Parents (Marius, Artem, Vyn)
This was originally two parts, but I don't think splitting them up makes much sense. Not when both are written and part two was only Vyn
Requests are OPEN, pls check rules before requesting
Cw: just fluff, a shovel talk
Marius x Fem!reader, Artem x Fem!reader, Vyn x fem!reader
Marius
Your parents are split when you bring him home for the first time
He easily charms your mother who thinks he’s “just such a nice boy, you should keep him y/n”
Mentally you’re like “uh huh. sure. Such a nice boy and the biggest tease in Stellis.” Not that you’d mention it. There’s no point in enlightening your mother during their first meeting
Your father is a different story
He’s heard rumors of the younger von Hagen boy and is  suspicious. Very suspicious. though you’re sure his mood is more about the boyfriend bit, not the von Hagen bit. He’s your father after all
The three of you have dinner, while, Marius chats with your mother and your father subtly not grills him on every topic imaginable
When dinner is done, your father drags him outside for a little talk. Before they leave your mother tells him to “be nice to the poor boy, he’s probably terrified” yes, yes he is, but he leads meetings in front of cranky old men all the time. He’s not going to show your dad just how terrified he is, lol
The shovel talk goes about as well as can be expected
“If you hurt my daughter, I’ll make sure you’re a permanent missing person’s case.”
nope, nope, not terrified at all to which Marius responds with a very quiet, “Yes sir, I wouldn’t dream of hurting your daughter”
Your father would be satisfied with the response and the rest of the night goes very well
Before he leaves, Marius definitely gives you a kiss that has your mother blushing, you breathless, and your father reaching for the shovel. It’s something your should have expected, really. Marius wasn’t going to be able to pretend all night. He never can.
Artem
If your parents would be of split opinions about Marius, the opposite is true if you brought Artem home
Your mother would be very pleased with the way Artem cares for you and how much he respects you. Of course, he treats her with the same courtesy, if not with the same openness. 
Your mother does remark that he seems a little distant and very formal. You merely shrug and tell her that Artem is just like that. 
Even with the distance your mother is easily won over
Your father is even easier to please. It’s painfully obvious that Artem respects you no shovel talk needed
He’s even happier when you tell him about his accolades. He wants someone who can take care of his daughter, who can support her no matter what she decides to do in live and Artem is certainly capable of doing so 
After dinner, Artem insists on being the one to drive you home (you came together anyway), which pleases your parents immensely. 
Vyn Richter 
Your dad was seriously trying to find fault with Vyn, he really was
After all, only the best of the best get to date his daughter
But this is Vyn. Despite his god complex, he has his good points and he knows full well how to put those on display
So instead of seeing “your daughter calls me professor in bed” he sees “successful psychiatrist, professor, and someone who will treat his daughter right”
And he will. Red flags aside, his distaste read: hatred of PUAs shows that he will not descend to that level of manipulation
What only you see is that Vyn is genuinely nervous. He doesn’t have a lot of experience at this stage of a relationship I wouldn’t think anyway and he is not nearly as perfect as he’d like to be (you spent an hour trying to convince him that it was going to be fine
So he results to assuaging your dad’s doubts and charming your mother
Boy howdy does he charm your Mom. His polished and refined manner, strict adherence to etiquette, and the gentlemanly way he treats you has her over the moon
So while your Dad is like, “he’s dating my daughter, I don’t like him. But damn it he treats her like a queen” Mom is like “great job, Y/n, he’s a keeper”
Actually, for a moment your mom is a little self conscious over the homely dinner she spent some much time on. I mean, this is fine dining, best of the best, Vyn and he can’t totally dampen that vibe.
But once things really get going, your dad stops interrogating Vyn and your mom stopped feeling so self conscious (a genuine  “compliments to the chef” from Vyn did the trick) things go fairly smoothly
Vyn soon stops being so nervous, to which you think “about damn time” and you end up having a very interesting dinner time discussion
By the time Vyn leaves, all mistrust has been dispelled
As far as you’re concerned, it’s a resounding success
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yakuzacanons · 4 months
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howdy? your headcanons are awesome, really love reading them! could I ask for the reader falling asleep on yakuza guys? thanks a bunch!
Perfect pairing for my previous post, literally cheese n wine pairing right here lol. Here ya go and thanks for your patience.
Kazuma Kiryu
He'd just hazily wrap his arm around you and fall back asleep. He's pretty easy to fall asleep on, but it mostly only works if he's also already asleep or trying to sleep. Otherwise, he'd just pick you up and tuck you into bed.
Majima Goro
Don't fall asleep on him if he's also asleep, at some point he's going to flail around and you'll get kicked or something. If you fall asleep on him while he's awake, he'll just sit patiently. It's literally like a cat fell asleep on his lap. He cannot move now. It's illegal.
Akiyama Shun
Nap on him anytime. If he's asleep, if he's awake, if he's laying down or sitting up or at home or at work. Free cuddles. Do it. He wants it. Please?? He'll be so nice and stroke your hair and everything.
Saejima Taiga
A human pillow. A living breathing heated blanket. If you get cold easily, I would recommend falling asleep on Saejima. He's also one of the bigger guys so you can like full body lay on top of him.
Tanimura Masayoshi
Very gentle little baby and might even fall asleep while you're sleeping with your head in his lap or leaning on his shoulder. The two of you tend to just fall asleep wherever the other one does, it's almost comedic how much that happens.
Ryuji Goda
Also a human pillow, although he's kind of goofily prideful about it. If you fall asleep on him, he's internally like "Alright, I'll be the best pillow ya ever had then!".
Nishikiyama Akira
It kind of melts his heart. It makes him feel like you trust him and can depend on him and that means a lot to him. He can be a little protective or jealous sometimes, so moments like this make him feel genuinely close to you.
Daigo Dojima
On the rare occassion you're sleepier than he is, he'll just kind of engulf you in his arms and hold onto you until you either wake up or until he also falls asleep. Out of all the boys, it's most common for Daigo to either fall asleep on you or for you to fall asleep on him.
Mine Yoshitaka
Kind of feeds into his top/dom energy, I won't lie. He's secretly like "Oh HELL yea, fall asleep on me. Love that." even though he's not the most cuddly of the boys. He thinks it's cute that you just nodded off like that.
Tatsuo Shinada
Constantly torn between letting you just sleep that way or tucking you in more properly, especially if he's still wide awake. At the same time, he doesn't want to move you because you're basically cuddling now, right?
Ichiban Kasuga
First time it happens, he turns beet red and sits so still that you might mistake him for a statue. Over time, he just gets used to it and kind of pats your head. He might occupy his time by reading a book or watching a video very quietly if he's not sleepy. Kind of chuckles and says "Heh, you really were tired huh?"
Tianyou Zhao
Would let you sleep it off but might tease you when you wake up by saying something like "Ah, look who's awake!" or "Someone was a sleepyhead, eh?". If he's also sleepy, he'll kind of drape one arm over you and pass out.
Joon-Gi Han
Also operates off of cat logic. You are laying there and you will remain there for as long as you are comfortable. Would probably actually tell the others at HQ that he cannot come in because you're still asleep on his chest and therefore he cannot move. Honestly, this is one of his preferred forms of intimacy as he enjoys the quietness. He's a little bit of an awkward conversationalist so this is relaxing for him.
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sw-33-ts-stuff · 1 year
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Welcome Back Wednesday
Wednesday X Reader
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Part 1
Wednesday POV
"You're what?" My voice was calm but the tone indicated I was anything but.
"They've asked me to take Larissa's position at Nevermore my little raven and your father will be teaching some courses as well."
I felt my jaw tighten at her words. I had just grown accustomed to attending the school they did.
"And Pugsley?" I glared at him. He shrunk under my stare.
"We don't think he's quite ready yet but don't worry my little viper, your Uncle Fester has promised to take good care of him."
I scoffed grabbing my bag and preparing to go to my dorm.
"Be sure to be on time for the special announcement in the quad!" I barely glanced back towards my mother and father. Seething as I realized they'd be here to monitor my every move as they tried before by sending Thing.
"Wednesday!" A ball of pink and blue stopped just a few inches before me.
"Howdy roomie." She winked.
I nodded preparing my side of the room as a knock sounded. Ajax coming in shortly to hug Enid nodding to me politely.
"Hey Wednesday, Xavier's looking for you." I rolled my eyes continuing my unpacking as Enid smirked.
"Maybe you guys can catch up when we all go to the Quad." Enid was practically bouncing in her spot as my bookbag opened itself.
"THING!" She began to talk animatedly with him signing furiously. I refrained from rolling my eyes for the third time in just as many minutes.
The two were acting as if they weren't FaceTiming each other on a weekly basis.
I walked out to the Quad once again hearing my name being yelled.
"Hey Wednesday." I looked up to see Xavier smiling at me as I nodded. "How's it going?"
I quirked an eyebrow at him.
Was that really the best he could come up with?
Someone else had run up to us and I felt myself almost smile at the sight of Eugene.
"Hello fellow hummer!" I almost cringed nodding to the short boy.
"Eugene."
"Did you hear we're getting a new group of students?" I felt my eyebrows furrow wondering why my mother failed to mention this earlier.
A shrill bell rang throughout the quad silencing the crowd.
"Good morning students," my mothers voice getting the male crowd entranced as per usual. I even found some of the girls drooling. I looked over to see Bianca hitting Yoko before she glanced to me, her hand held up in a small wave. I simply nodded, hands clasped behind my back as my mother continued to speak.
"I will be your new Dean Morticia Addams," I felt a few pairs of eyes look my way. My intense glare sending them straight back to their business.
"It is with a bittersweet acceptance that I not only take the position of my late dear friend Larissa Weems but I also honor her with a statue to show our gratitude to a woman who was not into passionate but brave and selfless to our school." 
My mother gestured to my father who pulled a long skirt to reveal said statue it's shine reminding me of the odd way she seemed to see the best on everyone.
Larissa Weems was by far one of the most irritating individuals I had ever dealt with but she was also someone who was driven to seeing the best on everyone, and on some level I could respect that.
"We will also be integrating a new group of individuals into our group of Outcasts, so please join me in providing a warm welcome to the Ramirez siblings." The two teens stepped forward one boy and one girl. The boy was tall and lean, his sister around my height possibly a few inches taller. The boys green eyes scanned the crowd as the girls brown hid behind thick frames. He stood tall thanking my mother with a wide grin as his sister merely nodded.
"Please remember to be kind and to begin this semester with ambition and grace." I watched as my father held his hand out to help my mother down.
"Guess you won't be getting away with as much now that your parents run the school huh?" I glanced at Xavier scoffing.
"You're right I'll get away with a lot more."
I turned and began walking to the library when I had bumped into someone, my head snapping back as I felt paralyzed.
*Vision*
"I told you I didn't do it!" The Ramirez girl was being dragged into a jail cell, her brother watching from the outside. "LET ME GO!"
They had wrapped the girl in a straight jacket, the material far different than the usual cotton.
He turned to walk away my eyes catching sight of a burn on his neck.
*End of Vision*
"Sorry." He grinned down at me. I blinked at him. "I'm Elijah, but you can call me Eli."
He held his hand out to shake but I simply stared at it as he slowly lowered it back down.
"She doesn't really liked to be touched." Xavier towering over me as he spoke to the boy holding his hand out. "I'm Xavier Thorpe, that's Wednesday."
The two shook hands, I turned to go back to my room.
I glanced to see his sister sitting alone by a tree, feeling my stare she looked up at me.
I glanced to see the book she was reading
The Fall of the House of Usher
Interesting.
"How cool is it that your moms the new Dean?" I looked at Enid slightly annoyed.
"It's so cool." I deadpanned.
She grimaced before getting back to her usual preppy self.
"Come on Wednesday it won't be so bad besides she's announced that your father will be introducing a new class."
We walked to the first class of the semester to find my father standing in front of the chalkboard. The same room Laurel used with some slight modifications as I heard a hiss to the right of the entrance.
Enid and I sat down.
"Welcome to Herpetology."
My phone vibrating shortly after.
Unknown
Welcome back Wednesday
.
.
.
It’s an idea I had please leave feedback if I should continue.🥺
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fandom-friday · 2 months
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I Don’t Belong Here (I Wish I Was Special) by BootyCrusade (https://archiveofourown.org/works/48823366/chapters/123163240) Batman. After a run in with some goons wielding weird technology, Tim wakes up in a universe where Bruce loves his company, Jason never died, and Dick never gave the title of Robin away. Then he falls asleep and is back in his original universe. This fic has original artwork and it’s ~amazing~! There’s also a reverse robin universe that is integral to the plot near the end. I like how the dynamics of the two universes are in parallel to each other. There is a lot of angst and characters being given a ‘reason you suck’ speech, mainly by their counterparts. Which is very cathartic.
OOOOOOOH ok ok I like this idea A LOT! I always think fic art is INCREDIBLY COOL (and I envy people that can both draw and write because HOW MUCH TALENT CAN ONE BODY CONTAIN??? HUH @the-booty-crusader???). I love the idea of Tim swapping worlds when he sleeps but BOY HOWDY the consequences of glimpsing that other universe and then coming back. I'll bet the dynamics are just PHENOMENAL to play against one another. Thanks so much for the rec!
Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)
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marve2014 · 1 year
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No Time Like the Present
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Wednesday Addams x fem!reader 
Part Four
Summary: Y/N meets Thing.
Warnings: Minor mention of violence, bullying.
Minors DNI
Word Count:2.9K
Authors Note: All characters aged up to 18. This is where the story diverges from the actual story line.
Outreach day was one day a year that the students of Nevermore coexisted with the kids of Jericho in order to "strengthen the bonds” between the two groups; At least that’s the spiel the mayor keeps giving all the businesses so they’ll let Nevermore students work in their shops. Tyler and I spent the morning talking about Wednesday and I’s not official, official first date while we waited for our Nevermore kid to show up. We were assigned the one and only Xavier Thorpe; the same one who hates Tyler and honestly makes me uncomfortable with how he looks at me and Wednesday. Making my iced coffee before people start trickling in, Xavier comes walking in. 
“Hello Xavier, how are you today?” you ask, trying to make polite conversation.
“I’m good y/n, how are you feeling after last night?” he smirks as he grabs an apron and makes his way behind the counter.
“If you must know, I had an amazing time. First dates are never really what you expect them to be, are they?” Smiling as you remember the feeling of Wednesday's hand in yours.. 
“First date? With who?” you can see the confusion flash across his face and can’t help but chuckle.
“With Wednesday of course. She was the one who demanded it was a date”. You decide to embellish the story just a little bit to make him even more uncomfortable  
“Wait, you and Wednesday?!? ‘“ he asks clearly shocked at the information you just provided.
“Yes, me and Wednesday. Is that a problem?' you question coldly.
“No, no, no problem at all. Just a little confused. I thought I was more her type.” He confesses as he starts wiping down the counter “guess she wasn’t playing hard to get, huh? Oh crap. And when I flirted with you before! Jesus I’m on idiot”
"Oblivious, yes, an idiot, eh, harsh words” you defend and give him a smile.
Tyler walks out of the breakroom and notices you and Xavier talking, you look over to him and he sends you a look that you know can lead to nothing good.
“I will be right back Xavier, it seems I am being summoned by that doofus over there” you laugh, walking towards Tyler as he pulls you into a hug when you reach him.
"Wednesday is at pilgrim world, wearing the costume and everything, we have no customers and Xavier can handle the few that come in.” Tyler rushes out all in one breath. 
“On my goodness, yes! Lets go! I’m so gonna use this to blackmail her. Xavier? We’ll be back in 10 minutes hold down the fort.” 
“Aye, aye captain.”  he mock salutes you as you and Tyler make your way to pilgrim word. Looking through the crowd trying to find Wednesday, you notice a smaller kid surrounded by 3 older boys – all dressed up like pilgrims. You leave Tyler and make your way over and see the smaller boy struggling as one of the older ones is trying to force him into a wooden contraption.
“HEY! LEAVE HIM ALONE!” You run over and all of them stare at you.
“Go away, this doesn’t have anything to do with you, outcast lover.” The ring leader says as he tries to get the small boy to stop squirming. You look around trying to find an adult as you feel someone walk directly next to you. 
“Howdy Pilgrims.” You look and see Wednesday staring at the situation with a cold decisive look in her eyes. “ I suggest you let Eugene go”. Wednesday rests her arm on the top of the wooden stock preventing it from closing on him. 
“What do you want to end up in the stocks too?” The ring leader asks as you pull the kid Wednesday called Eugene from the wooden stock and put your arm around his shoulder to comfort him.
“If I recall, we did this dance before and it didn’t end up well for you.” Wednesday smugly states as the larger boy makes a move to grab her. You stay with Eugene and Wednesday ends up tossing the kid to the floor and breaks his finger; all of the Jericho boys flee and you and Wednesday tend to Eugene. You're cleaning his uniform when Wednesday walks over and takes in the both of you smiling and laughing despite what just happened. 
“Why do I always find you in trouble?” Wednesday asks while you finish cleaning up Eugene.
“Well I couldn’t let them just be mean to Eugene. It would be like hurting a puppy!” You laugh and stare at Wednesday noticing how beautiful she looks.
“You are absolutely gorgeous. How did I get so lucky?” You ask and can tell Wednesday is starting to blush.
“I assume you two know each other?” Eugene interrupts. 
“Yes Eugene, this is y/n. She’s a normie. But she’s MY normie.” Wednesday declares ready to defend you if Eugene were to say something cross. You can feel your cheeks heating up at her casualness of mentioning you two being an item, unable to hide your smile you grab Wednesdays hand in yours.
“Well Eugene, it was a pleasure meeting you but I need to borrow Wednesday here.” You smile and lead both you and Wednesday back to the Weathervane walking in, still hand and hand with each other you make Wednesday sit at the table closest to the cash register you leave her there while you make her, her usual all the while Xavier is staring at you both mouth gaped open,with how easily she is letting you order her around; something he imaged should not even be possible with how strong willed the Wednesday Addams he knows is.  Xavier makes his way over to the table you sat Wednesday at and smugly looks her up and down.
“Never thought I would see Wednesday Addams act so domestic.”
“Xavier, I’m going to stay this once and only once, if you value your life you’re going to keep your mouth shut and not mention what’s seen here today to anyone at Nevermore.”
“Ill keep that in mind.” He smiles and makes a move to sit across from Wednesday.
“Xavier, if I’m not mistaken, you’re supposed to actually work; not harass customers. Go wipe something down.” You glare and make sure he’s away from Wednesday before she can threaten him anymore. Finishing up her drink, you walk over and take where Xavier was going to sit. You look Wednesday in the eyes “I am taking you somewhere tonight, be at the gates of the school at 9:00p.m. Okay? And dress warm. I don’t want you catching a cold.”
“Fine, but I need to talk to Tyler, has he made it back yet?” She questions.
“No clue, let me check the back. One minute”. You run to the back break room and see Tyler sitting in one of the chairs drinking an energy drink and playing some game on his phone. 
“Wednesday needs you, please and thank youuuu.” You smile and wait for him to follow. 
“The peasant you were seeking ma’am.” You motion to tyler.
“How can I be of service?” Tyler jokes as Wednesday pulls out a map she got from Pilgrim World.
“I need to know where on this map is the old pilgrims meeting house from the 1600s.” 
Tyler looks down at the map confused and then points to a secluded area.
“There, but its kind of sketchy, Squatters and meth heads use it as a crash pad. My dad has to clear it out every few weeks. Why are you looking for it?” 
“No reason.” Wednesday coldly states as she looks from Tyler to you. 
“Becoming obsessed with the monster in the woods, are we?” Tyler jokes.
“Okayyyy, and that’s enough interaction between the two of you. Wednesday here has to go play her cello and then she has a date to get ready for” you usher Tyler away and pull Wednesday in for a hug. You feel her stiffen and then immediately relax into your arms. “I will see you later, Lovely. Okay?” You kiss her cheek and send her on her way.
Feeling the stares from both Tyler and Xavier, you ignore both of them and make yourself a coffee before the lunch rush comes in. 
The rest of the shift goes by without a hitch, Xavier staying away from Tyler, and everyone staying away from you until it was time to close. You and Tyler head to your house so you can get ready for your date. 
“So what exactly did you plan for your date?” Tyler asks as he starts rummaging through the fridge looking for a snack.
“A dinner picnic. You can eat anything in that fridge but so help me if you touch the cheese. It’s for tonight.” You yell as you make your way up the stairs. Looking through your clothes, you decide on jeans and a sweater so that you will be warm in the cold night air. Walking back down stairs you get a picnic basket from the Hall closet and bring it into the kitchen. Getting some fancy bread, crackers, fruit and cheese you start loading it all up as Tyler sits there watching eating some form of food in an old takeout container. 
“Do you think shell like this?” You nervously ask, placing some drinks into the basket.
“I think she would literally let you sit there and just stare at her and she would have a good time. I mean you got kidnapped and she classified it as a date.” 
“You’re not wrong. Okay, foods packed, Im ready. You can stay if you want. My mom will be home in like an hour; you know she loves feeding you. I’m out.” You hug Tyler, leaving him in the house as you make your way to the gates of Nevermore. Pulling near the gates, you see Wednesday and you put the car in park and hop out. Grabbing the black roses you hid in the backseat, you make your way over to her and pull the passenger door open for her.
“I know you love black flowers, and these are a lot easier to find than black dahlias. I hope you like them.” You smile as you close her door and get in the drivers side. 
“Thank you for the flowers, not everyone can appreciate a dead flower. But I do.”
“Kay, so I promise im not bringing you to our next location to murder you. I feel like you could take me down and kill me faster than I could kill you, however, It is a spooky place, but that’s your vibe, and I want you to be comfortable.” You explain nervously as you start driving toward your destination. 
Pulling into an old cemetery you see a small smile at the corners of Wednesday’s lips. 
‘’This is an acceptable location for the date.” Wednesday tries to not seem excited.
You get the blanket and pillows while Wednesday grabs the picnic basket and you make your way to the back of the cemetery. Placing everything down, you and Wednesday begin to eat the snacks you prepared. 
“Can I ask something without you getting offended?” You cautiously ask Wednesday, making her put down her crackers.
“I suppose that’s okay. Go ahead.” She responds.
“What makes me different? Everyone else gets this cold version of you, but I seem to get a softer side.” You grab her hand and start drawing small circles on the back of her knuckles. 
“I don’t know what you mean. I treat you the same exact way I treat everyone else.” She argues but keeps her hand held within yours. 
“Oh really? So if anyone else held your hand, you’d be fine? Or if anyone else did this?” You lean forward and gently cup the side of Wednesday’s face and bring your lips to hers. You can feel her resist the kiss and you start to pull back thinking you made a huge mistake. As a wave of embarrassment begins to wash over you, you feel Wednesday's hands on each side of your head, tangling her hands in your hair, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss; neither of you stopping until you need to come up for air. You look over at Wednesday's flushed state and start to giggle. 
“So you would let anyone else do that? I have to say, if this is gonna work, I’m gonna need that to not happen.”
“If anyone else did that to me I would gouge their eyes out and deliver them to you on a bed of roses. Only you get to do that to me, there are a lot of things you make me feel that I can not explain. It should repel me, disgust me, but one look at your smile and I now understand why the sun dies for the moon each night. Before you, I was destined to live a lonely existence. But the mere thought of never seeing you again brings me a pain that for once, I do not enjoy. I am learning that there is more to life than solitude and just living to eventually die.” Leaning over Wednesday takes the initiative to lay herself slotted between your legs, her back to your chest as she brings your hands to hold hers as they rest on her stomach. Too shocked to say anything you just squeeze Wednesday further into your arms and rest your head on top of hers. You both enjoy each others company while staring at the stars and continuing to eat the snacks you packed. 
“So what are your parents like?” You ask. “I saw their photo in that weird library we went to.” 
“My parents have always loved each other more than life itself. Growing up with them was sickening; always having to see how much they loved each other. I also have a brother, his name is Pugsley. He’s defenseless at best, he’s the reason I got sent here. There were kids at school bullying him; they tied him up and shoved him in a locker. I don’t like when people mess with the people that I care about if you haven’t noticed. Eugene reminds me a lot of Pugsley, minus the urge to strangle him constantly.”
Wednesday gets a faraway look in her eyes as she talks more about her family, her Uncle Fester, Thing. 
“Wait wait wait! So he’s actually just a hand? Like just the hand, no arm, no body and he’s able to communicate and move?” You ask excitedly, wanting to meet him immediately.
“It’s one of the great Addams Family mysteries. He’s over there by that headstone if you want to meet him. He was with us in the library as well. You’re kind of unobservant.” Wednesday laughs and snaps her fingers calling Thing over.
“Thing, this is y/n, y/n this is Thing.” Wednesday introduces.
You squeal with excitement. “Ohhhh my god. Can i pick him up? He’s so cute!” 
Thing tilts his nub of a wrist and confusingly looked at Wednesday. 
“Go ahead, she wants you to.” Wednesday reassures him. Thing walks on his fingers over to you and climbs up your leg making his was to your outstretched hand. You begin to coo and pet his palm.
“I love him, I want to take him home. He’s like a little bunny rabbit that you don’t need to feed or water.” That comment gets you flicked in the hand by Thing and you look down at him scoldingly. “Heyy. I was calling you cute, don’t make me put you in the car.” You threaten and nuzzle his palm into your hands using it they way you would rub a dogs stomach. 
“He may act like he hates it, but he actually loves the attention. He’s like a dog.” Wednesday explains as she makes him get down on her shoulder so she can take your hands in hers again. 
As you both continue to lay there you start to hear a rustling in the woods behind you. Looking over, Thing has left, already going to investigate. Grabbing Wednesdays hand with worry you pull the both of you to your feet and start packing all of the remaining food, blankets and pillows and rush to the car. 
“We need to go back and get Thing.” You breathlessly tell Wednesday.
“Thing will be fine, its what he’s made for.” Wednesday calmly states. 
“Wednesday, you said he was family. I don’t know if you’ve watched Lilo and Stitch, but no one gets left behind.” You yell, making your way back to where you were seated in the cemetery to attempt to locate Thing with Wednesday trailing behind you. Trying to remain calm you slowly make your way into the opening of the woods and are immediately met with what sounded like loud footsteps. Grabbing Wednesday and turning around to run you both stop in your tracks as you’re assaulted by the light of a bright flashlight being shone directly in your eyes.
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heartfullofleeches · 2 years
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howdy, can i request yandere exorciste x ghoul(the mythologic one not the anime xd) reader? btw i luv your blog, keep it up 👍
Yandere male x gn Ghoul Reader
Word count:1.5k
Warning: animal death
“This the place?”
The air is heavy with the smell of smoke; embedded in the seats of a yellow car stopped on a desolate road. The engine remains stationary, ready to peel out of there as soon as possible. A single bill of currency slides between the gas separating the front and back compartments.
“Yes, thank you. Keep the change.”
The passenger exits the vehicle as soon as a hand tugs on the other side of the paper. It speeds off before the door handle can click shut; leaving the man in a cloud of smog on an already foggy night. Brief case in hand, he faces the building behind him. A two story house; lone on its block – cut from the outside world by steel gates and walls of stone. A winding path creates a further difference, green fields covering the plot. The man presses a button on a panel at the front gate, alarm buzzing before there’s a click- and someone speaks. 
“Hello?” 
“Good evening. I’m Johann David, here for the -"
“Yes, I know. I’ll let you in.”
The gate pops open without so much as a creak. Johann enters and begins his journey up the hill. The concrete is wet; grass freshly watered. Patches of dead earth were sprinkled through the field. No light left the house except for ones on its porch and from the window closest to the door. Johann knocks, door opening a crack as an eye peers out at him. The home owner looks him up and down as if assuming he wasn’t who he claimed, before deciding he seemed fine and pulling the door open fully.
A man stand at the door, face grim and eyes heavy with lack of sleep. A woman clings onto his arm, just as exhausted – if not closer to passing out right there. They both look to the man at their door, trying to keep their eyes from the scar that peaked from his collar.
“Thank you for coming, Father. We didn’t know who else to call.”
Johann flashes a reassuring smile. “It may be for the best. May I enter?”
The couple stands aside and allow him to come inside. Each holds a flashlight in hand.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why are all the lights out?”
“It… doesn’t like the light. It moves around a lot more when they’re off. You should be able to hear it better… Can we walk while we talk?”
“Certainly..” Johann joins the pair in walking down the nearby corridor. “So what makes you believe that this is something that requires my… area of expertise?”
“We’ve seen it before.. It’s not like any beast we’ve ever seen. It’s almost.. human.”
“And why didn’t you call law enforcements first?”
“We tried.. At first they didn’t listen, and when they did they left us on our own.”
“Can you describe what it looks like?”
“It's so fast I could barely catch a glimpse. It has grey skin… These.. black teeth. It lets out a terrible snarl. Oh god.. Our daughter used to feed the small animals that crossed our land, and we havent seen any in weeks. ” 
The woman breaks down crying, her husband soon to comfort. In the time, Johann surveys the walls they past. Floral wallpaper was home to many forms of art. Framed china, small statues, vintage paintings. One sticks out to him amongst the others. A hand painting of a small family consisting of a father, mother and their young son. The parents hold pastured smiles while the boy's lips remained thin. He seemed to be looking elsewhere – far beyond the painting. A blue ring hung around his ring finger, few sizes too big for his hand.
“Where did you get this?” He questions.
“Huh? Oh, we found it in the attic. I guess the past owners left it behind.”
“I see..”
“We’re here…”
The group finally reach their destination. A wooden door when an aged handle, standing at the end of the hall. The husband passes his flashlight off to Johann, his eyes never meeting his – afraid of the reality they’d face if he didn’t return. Fearing the guilt of leaving another man to die. 
“There’s a window down there, but use this if you need it… For our safety, we will lock the door after you go down there. We hope you understand. “
“I do.”
He unlocks the door; foul smell blowing from the depths below. They all recoil from it – the scent of rot and death. Taking his final breath of fresh air, Johann takes his first steps into the basement. He hears the turn of a lock behind him, taking more without a second thought. His eyes adjust to the darkness by the time he reaches the end of the stairs, clutter and debris filling his line of sight. He grips the cross around his neck and begins his search for the beast.
The area is large, made a maze by the rows of shelves blocking a clear path. Johann turns on the flashlight, keeping it low to the ground. Spots of red begin to dot the white concrete. The smell worsening with each step past them. The clashing of teeth hiss in the air. He remains unbothered; keen on finishing his mission. He comes across the window the couple spoke of, and it was there that he saw it. The creature from his dreams.
A rabbit’s blank, beady eyes stare up at him; it’s brown coat dyed in the crimson of its blood. The creature looms over, eating at its exposed organs. It’s skin was a blueish grey, clinging to the bones of it inhumanly long limbs. It’s long tongue slurped at the blood like a starving man. Johann's heart races. He removes the cross from his neck, and places it on a shelf – barely able to speak.
“Face me…
The creature whips its head in his direction. It lowers its body closer to the ground, growling. It begins to sniff the air, relaxing; as if it recognized something in the man before it. It grins madly, wiping blood off its black fangs with the back of its hand.
“Hello… Father. It seems you’ve finally earned the title.” 
Its voice was still the same.
“Please. Call me, Johann.. Y/n..”
You tilt your head, eyes lowering in recollection. “It’s been a while since anyone’s called me that. Doesn’t matter, much. I won’t be them for much longer.”
You stand up. Despite your recent meal, your ribcage was protruding from your flesh. An abnormality even for even with the state you were currently in. Johann grimaces. He can’t bear the sight.
“How long has it been since you’ve eaten human flesh?”
You think for a moment. “Since my parents died. Or right after you left. I can’t remember. Getting pretty hungry though. Maybe you can be my first victim.”
Johann looks away. He never wanted to leave you. Not even after the truth of your parent’s horrible actions came out. Not even when you visited him that night; when you should have been in your grave. Losing you was like losing a part of his soul, and when he got you back he was like a miracle from a cruel, twisted God. 
“I never stopped loving you, Y/n. I gave into my family's wishes because I knew I could see you again some day if I took this path.”
“So you could kill me?”
“So I can make up for the mistakes of the past.”
Johann pulls a ring from his pocket, and its twin. Heirlooms from both of your families, exchanged when you became engaged as a young age. You were always meant to be, and you both looked forward to the future; broken only by the sins of your kin. They had a fear of death, doing anything possible to achieve everlasting life – no matter how many fell for the cause. You became a test subject, and the only one to make an unwilling deal with the devil.
“You can’t be serious. All the pain I’ve caused.. all I will cause. Just send me to hell where I belong.”
“The only pain that lingers is the pain of not having you at my side. Y/n I am willing to give anything to have you once more, even at the cost of my life.”
He kneels before you, like a sinner at prayer; rolling the sleeve of his shirt up and offering you his flesh. He clings onto your cold skin, pleading up to you. 
“Y/n, please. I love you. I don’t want to lose you again.”
You sink to his side. His eyes lock with your blank ones; beautiful as jewels to him. You take him in your arms. He goes limp. Finally at peace. Finally able to close his tired eyes and rest. He feels you lift his arm. He feels your teeth in his flesh, but he remains still. Tear free the strings of his heart and he would still remain. The one demon he would never free from his life
-
“I’m going down there.”
“Honey, no!”
“It’s been too long. I’ll be back.”
The husband unlocks the door. He enters the empty basement and searches for the priest. He finds him in the arms of the demon, arm speared by its fangs. Despite the flesh being torn from his limb, he smiles in absolute euphoria.
“The exorcism is almost complete..”
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Text
A.P.U Comfort
Summary - Part 18 in the Comfort series
Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x Sam (platonic), Reader x Bobby (father-figure)
Warnings - mentions of miscarriage
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
A/N - G’day guys, I just wanna start by thanking you for all the likes, reblogs and follows since my last post, I really appreciate it. I hope you like this one too. Beware though, this one is a little longer than usual – I got a little carried away as I had a particular episode in mind that I wanted to rewrite for this situation. The GIF below is a major hint at what we're diving into. Until next week, enjoy! 
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Meanwhile in Sioux Falls…
“I don’t know what to do, Bobby. I don’t know how to help her feel better when I don’t know how to shut off the pain myself. She’s a shell of herself…I just want to see her smile again. She would’ve been an amazing mother, you know.”
“For a start, you don’t shut it off. You share it. You confide in your girl. Let her confide in you. ‘Cause you’re no better. Sam said it’s like living in a morgue and now I can see for myself what he means. You will both be great parents when the time is right. Neither of you is the type to give up on anything when it comes to helping others, you just need to apply that same passion to yourselves and each other.”
“How?”
“You love her and you let her love you. In the meantime though let’s go see what Jody claims is so urgent.”
They gear up and get into the Impala and drive 20 minutes to a cafe in Hartford, where Jody had said to meet her. 
“Howdy boys, thanks for meeting me.”
“Anything for you, Sheriff,” Bobby says as he exits the car. 
“Hey, Jody.”
“Hey Dean, glad to see you’re holding up okay. If you and Y/N ever need a home-cooked meal or company be sure to drop in. I’m here for both of you.”
“Thanks, I’ll be sure to let her know when I get home. So, what’s the case?”
“This is a small town. Only crime to speak of being the occasional cow tipping. Then last week...four people go missing.”
“All right, so, what makes you think this is our kind of weird?” Dean asks
“I've got a witness who says he saw someone lift an S.U.V. to nab a girl last night. Now, normally, if somebody would tell me that one guy lifted an S.U.V., I'd tell him to take a flying leap, but after what I've seen…”
“Nothing's impossible,” Bobby says.
“Uh-huh.”
“And this matches up with the other missing how?” Dean asks.
“Well, four abductions, strong evidence left at every scene -- literally,” Jody says as she pulls out a folder full of photos and case reports and spreads them out on the table between them.
“So, the first vic was a pastor?” Bobby confirms.
“Yeah. The door of his study was punched in. And then, the next two…an engaged couple.”
“Locked bedroom window was ripped open,” Dean reads out.
“Mm-hmm. And then we have our waitress here with the topsy-turvy ride.”
“Any other connection among them?” Bobby asks.
“Yeah. They were all members of Good Faith church here. My, uh, my church group back in Sioux Falls was in a tizzy over it.”
Dean gives her an inquisitive look and says, “I didn't peg you for churchy.”
“Yeah. You know… all this stuff I’ve seen recently kind of makes a higher power seem relevant.”
“Okay, so, we have, uh, missing church folk and super strength. Maybe angels harvesting vessels? Could be a Buddy Boyle type thing,” Bobby says.
“Wh-- angels? You're joking.”
“Don't get your pants on fire. They suck,” Dean says, “you said there was a witness?”
“Yeah, well...more or less.”
“We’ll be needing to meet him,” Bobby states.
Jody scribbles an address down on a napkin and slides it across the table to Bobby, “This is where you’ll find him. Not sure how reliable he’ll be. Anyway, I’ve gotta get back to work. Good luck, and keep me updated,” she says as she gets up and makes her way out of the cafe.
Dean and Bobby tidy up the files and head back out to the Impala and drive to the address Jody gave them. They walk up to an alley filled with makeshift tents and trolleys full. They walk around the back of a restaurant and find a messy-looking man sitting on the ground leaning against the brick wall. They clear their throat and flash their fake FBI badges at him.
Dean takes a seat on the couch the man led them to and says, “So, tell us about this missing girl you reported.”
“Honor. Her name was Honor. Nice girl. Always left me meatloaf.”
“Why don't you tell us what you saw that night?” Dean says.
“I heard a big noise, got woke, and there's somebody over there lifting a car up.”
“And did you happen to see who it was?” Dean asks.
“I was too far. But I saw a light go off.”
“A white light?” Bobby asks
“Blue. Blue like fire. But not. Then she was…she wasn't there.”
“Could you think of anything else?” Bobby asks.
“No.”
“Okay. Well...thank you for your time,” they both say as they stand up and see themselves out. 
As they get into the Impala Bobby says, “Okay. So, no white light.”
“No angel. So Jody said that they were all part of the same church?”
“Yeah.”
“Ready to get your worship on?” With that, Dean pulls out into the street and speeds off towards Good Faith Church in the centre of town. He pulls into a park in front of the large religious building. They take in the multicoloured stained glass windows showcasing stories of the bible as they walk through the heavy wooden doors. A short lady with shoulder-length blonde hair welcomes them.
“Welcome to Good Faith Church, I haven’t seen you at our services. Are you new to town?”
“Something like that,” Bobby says as he shakes her hand.
“Well then, can I interest you in a tour?”
“Sure,” Dean says with a nod.
They follow her around the halls of the chapel and listen as she tells them stories of their faith. At the end of the tour, she leads them into an office and offers them to take a seat. “We hope you enjoyed the tour. Any questions before we get you boys registered?”
“Uh, yeah, look, Ms Futchko,” Bobby says.
“Oh, please... Bonnie will do just fine.”
“Bonnie. Okay, we...love the church. We do. But...Well, we've heard that a few members have gone missing, and, to be honest...that kind of scares us.”
“Let me assure you, with our increased security, Good Faith has never been safer. And those people who have gone missing, well, they are front and centre in our prayers.”
“What a relief. Now, you must have been, uh, close to them,” Dean cuts in.
“Well, we do share the A.P.U. bond.”
“The A.P.U.?” Dean asks.
“Our chastity group...‘Abstinence Purifies Us.’”
“Oh. W-wow. You mind if we sit in on that, maybe see if it's for us?” Bobby asks.
“I'm afraid it's members only. I'm sorry, but it can get pretty personal.”
“Then count us in,” Bobby says.
“Well. I'll be a squirrel in a skirt. I'll be back in a jiff with the papers.” Bonnie walks out of the office to collect the papers, leaving Dean and Bobby sitting alone.
“A chastity group?” Dean asks.
“Dean, listen, if all the members were in A.P.U., then maybe whatever took them is stalking virgins.”
“And that Slim guy said he thought he saw fire. So, what are you thinking, dragons?”
Bonnie returns with two clipboards interrupting them. “All righty. You can just sign there, and your purification can begin.”
“Purity pledge?” Bobby reads out.
“It's a commitment to your virginity.”
“I don't think we can really un-ring that bell. You know what I mean?” Dean states with a smirk.
“Oh. I see. Well... If you just ask for God's forgiveness for your sins and make a new vow of chastity, well, then, you'll be born again as a virgin in his eyes.”
“So, you just hit the "virginity do-over" button, and all is good with the man upstairs?” Dean asks.
“It's not a button. And...this isn't just a piece of paper. I mean, this is your clean slate, your chance to be a virgin until marriage.”
“You know what, I’ve had my shot. Been married and all that, so I’m out. But you’re recently engaged, might be the perfect time for you. Sure your girl would be thrilled with the prospect of a pure white wedding,” Bobby says handing back the clipboard unsigned.
“Well, you had me at clean slate. Let's do this,” Dean says as he signs his name and hands back the clipboard.
“Congratulations, Dean Winchester. You are now a virgin.”
Dean gives her a tight smile and glances at Bobby. Bonnie takes the clipboards and leaves to start setting up the session. 
“You think Y/N will forgive me for this?”
“Depends…you planning on honouring your pledge?”
“As you said, it might be just what we need right now. Gives me more incentive to get her in that white dress already. Clean slate, new plan, the start of a happy future for us.”
“Alright. Well, you go get pure. I’m gonna hit the library.”
Dean hands Bobby the keys to the Impala and makes his way to the room Bonnie had shown them earlier where the meetings are held. When he enters the room he sees a group of women setting up folding chairs in a circle and laying out trays of food and coolers on a couple of folding tables along one wall. He helps set up the chairs before they all take a seat.
One of the ladies claps her hands and looks around the circle smiling. “Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Suzy. I thought we'd begin with a silent prayer for our missing friends.”
Everyone closes their eyes in a silent prayer except for Dean who is still watching everyone. After a moment he joins in and ducks his head quietly.
“Amen. Now, does anyone have anything that they would like to share?” Suzy asks. “Why don't we hear from our new friend? Dean, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?”
“Uh, hard to say, exactly. Yeah. Sex has always felt, I don't know, good, you know? I mean, really, really good. But, uh...Sometimes, it just makes you feel bad, you know? But, you know, when you get down to it, what's the big deal, right? I mean, sure, there's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling...Grinding. Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds and builds until it all just...Yeah. Uh...But the whole thing was just a little too, uh...sticky. So, uh, I got my V card back. The end.”
The meeting continues with an air of discomfort after Dean’s confession. Dean watches everyone intently for the rest of the meeting. Once it’s over he helps tidy up the chairs and create small talk with some of the ladies to search for leads. 
He makes his way over to the leader, Suzy and says, “Hey, Suzy right? Great meeting. But I uh, I gotta say you look so familiar.”
“Yeah, I-I'm pretty sure we've never met, Dean.”
“Alright.”
“Wait, you're new in town, right?”
“Uh, yeah. New to town. New to this whole chastity thing.”
“Well, I provide individual counselling. If you ever need to talk.”
“So, everybody in the group, they dish to you?”
“They confide. Abstinence is – it's really rough without support and education. Hey, you know what? I have some great books on the vow that really helped me. I-I live close. I'll just go grab them.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. With a, uh, with a kidnapper on the loose?”
“No, I'll be fine.”
“Tell you what, why don't I walk with you just to be safe, okay?”
“Alright, if you insist.”
They walk side-by-side back to her apartment. When she opens the door for them she says, “Make yourself comfortable.”
Dean watches as she takes off her hoodie leaving her just wearing a camisole. She sits down on her couch with her back to Dean. His cell phone rings, but he declines it quickly. He approaches Suzy on the couch and notices that she is crying.
“I can't stop thinking about my friends. I'm so scared for them. Will you pray with me, Dean?”
“Sure.” She takes his hand in her own and bows her head. Dean lightly squeezes her hand and awkwardly bows his head in response. 
After a while, she gains her composure and stands up abruptly. “Well, I’ll get you those books. Just give me one minute.”
Dean gives her a soft, awkward smile and stands up. He looks around the room. He sees a drawer slightly cracked open. He opens the drawer wider and in shock pulls out two Casa Erotica DVDs. His phone rings again, and when he sees the caller ID he’s quick to answer.
“Hey, sorry I left without saying anything, I had to come help Bobby with something.”
“I know, it’s fine. I just need to ask you something,” Y/N says over the phone.
���Shoot,” Dean says as he places the DVDs on the cabinet and makes his way into the hall.
“Is there more to our relationship than sex?”
“What makes you ask that?”
“Just tell me the truth, Dean.”
“Of course. You make me feel safe, happy, and hopeful. All feelings I haven’t felt since I was four. You make me want to be a better man. You give me a reason to live and fight harder to get to the other side of this dangerous, messy life we lead. You make me believe there is a way out. I don’t tell you every day, even though I should, but I love you.” He looks back at the door briefly, the images from the DVDs filtering through his mind distracting him. “I just…since you lost the baby…I guess I’ve felt lost. Like maybe there isn’t a way out or a future for us.”
“Dean…don’t say that.”
“You wanted the truth…I knew I never should have got my hopes up. You let me believe and then you let me down, again.”
“Don’t you dare blame me! I wasn’t sure either, and you’re the one that convinced me! You’re the one that told me it would be okay. I know you’re hurting, Dean, but so am I.”
“Hunters just aren’t meant to have relationships or families or futures.”
“Dean, baby, please. That’s not true.”
“Look around, sweetheart, it is.”
When the line goes silent he puts his phone away and goes back into Suzy’s apartment.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
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@bitchwitch1981, @muhahaha303, @justrealizedimmascifygurl, @mcdowell-123, @leigh70, @marvelsmarauder, @losa12308, @tapedeck-hearts, @luvjaida, @peachtxa, @ambearsstuff, @shadow-of-a-cloud, @slut-for-buck, @iprobablyshipit91, @sassy-pelican
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rahirah · 11 months
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On Getting William Laid
OK, so I will happily concede that the writers probably wanted the audience to see William as a virgin. BUT they never stated that outright, and if you are like me and wish to buck the popular fanon, here is some ammunition for you.
The most common objection I see to William having done the deed are:
He is a Victorian and Victorians are famously prudish
He is shy/awkward with women
He is uninterested in mere carnal desire until Dru comes along
To take these in order – the Victorians were only prudish in public. They were obsessed with sex. You repress that much, man, it‛s gonna come out somewhere, and in works such as My Secret Life or The Romance of Lust boy howdy does it. You name the kink, and the Victorians were into it – or at least, the men were. (I am far from an expert on Victorian porn, and I am not aware of any aimed at women, but that doesn't mean that there wasn't any, or that women might not co-opt porn aimed at men if that was all that was available.) Voyeurism! Scat! Masturbation! Incest! Lesbians! And that‛s only one chapter!
Moreover, prostitution was absolutely rampant. It wasn‛t just brothels; there were sex workers all over London. And the brothels ranged from dingy dangerous dives to expensive gentlemen‛s clubs. In fact, GillO once wrote extensive meta on how, if you analyze the historical anomalies of the costuming and language used at the party where William was turned, the only logical explanation is that it was being held at just such a high-class brothel.
Which leads into point two. William is awkward (to a point; he does not seem to me to be particularly shy, just kind of... oblivious to social cues) around women of his own class (or possibly of higher class, depending on how you see his and Cecily‛s relative social status.) However, it‛s very unlikely that he would have been equally awkward with women he saw as his inferiors. And a middle or upper class Victorian gentleman would have very much seen A) servants, and B) prostitutes, even high class ones, as inferiors. (The way Spike treats Harmony is very much in line with the attitude Victorian men had toward sex workers. Whereas he sees Buffy, Dawn, and Joyce as ‟ladies.‟)
And lastly, point three. I submit to you that William Pratt is in fact HORNY AS FUCK. Yes, he wants marriage and true love, but (whether or not he would admit as much to himself, or anyone else) he also wants to get it on. The godawful poetry he writes to Cecily is full of equally awful sexual innuendo.
My heart expands 'tis grown a bulge in it inspired by your beauty effulgent
His heart isn‛t the only thing expanding and bulging, I tell you what.
Oh, lark, grant a sign if crook’d be Cupid’s shaft.
‟Cupid‛s shaft‟ is crooked, huh? Remind you of anything?
BUFFY: Uhh, you're bent. SPIKE: Yeah, and it made you scream, didn't it?
Now mind you, I‛m not gonna argue that William was out there banging the maids every weekend. I‛m just saying, the guy was almost thirty, and lived in a milieu wherein if he wanted sex, he could stroll down almost any street and get a quick knee-trembler (and it was pretty much expected that a gentleman would do so, because a Real Lady, such as they might be married or engaged to, wasn‛t supposed to want sex at all except as something to be endured for the sake of children.) Maybe William never, ever took advantage of the mountain of social privilege he was standing on. But I don‛t think it would be utterly impossible that he did.
Your Honor, I rest my case.
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anna1306 · 1 year
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The Lost Boys Incorrect Quotes
Part 3 c:
Part 2 here
David: Have you noticed that Marko has been acting peculiar?
Dwayne: Yes, from the first day I met him.
Paul: I have no secrets from you. My whole life is an open book.
Marko: Your whole life is an open zipper.
Michael: Alright, alright, David! I'll turn. You win. You always win, but you don't play fair!
David: That's why I always win.
Paul: Art things come easier to me. I've always had a great appreciation for the arts and artists.
Marko: And carpenters and mechanics and delivery boys.
Michael: I am very patient. I once waited two whole weeks for a sty to go away. Every night I'd close my eyes and I'd picture it getting smaller and smaller. And one morning I woke up and it was gone.
Marko: *leaning on David's wheelchair with closed eyes, not moving*
Dwayne: Marko, you okay?
Marko: I'm fine. I'm just trying to make Michael go away.
Marko: Dwayne, why are you in such a bad mood?
Dwayne: Forgive me, Marko, but I haven't had sex in 15 years, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Paul: I treat my body like a temple.
David: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.
Marko: Great news, I just got a date!
Dwayne, David and Paul, who just had an argument: *leaving the cave, screaming at each other*
Marko: Well, excuse me for trying to have a life!
Laddie: After I drink milk, I go right to sleep.
Paul: I can think of something else after which I go right to sleep. Huh, David?
David: During.
Dwayne: You bought chocolate cheesecake?
Marko: Just for an emergency.
David: What kind of emergency, nuclear war?
Marko: Depression.
Michael: You know, in the south, we mature faster. I think it's the heat.
David: I think it's the gin.
Michael: *leaves David's nest*
Dwayne: I thought he belonged to the other one.
David: Well, I'm sure Star won't mind one bit.
Dwayne: He's a man. It's not like sharing a beer.
Marko: You just don't understand!
Dwayne: Oh please! What I forgot, you'll never know!
David: Look, you didn't ask for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway.
Michael: My father was good. He has truly been a father to everybody in our town!
Marko to Dwayne: Now I know why Max likes his mother. She must have been a very forgiving woman.
Marko: As long as you're out there, why don't you clean the bikes?
Tipsy Paul: Alright!
Dwayne: Yesterday you said you were gonna clean the bikes.
Marko: I said I'd get it done and it's getting done, lighten up.
In a country bar
David: Do you know where we can sit here?
Paul: How would I know? I'm here for the first time!
Random passerby, slapping his ass: Howdy Paul!
Talking about meeting the guys for the first time
Dwayne: At that moment I was convinced I'd made a bad first impression. But then I met Marko, and I realized I could have shown up naked, playing ukulele and still got turned.
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cboffshore · 6 months
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Situation: it is fall, which means it is almost December, which means it is time to begin my annual installment of my Nya Being A Gotdamb Menace To Nadakhan During Skybound series. (not the actual name, but that's the gist of it.) I am currently in the outline/sandbox writing phase.
Problem: based on the timeline I'm working with and some of the themes I want to mess with, 95% of this installment has to occur in that bridal suite Nya's stuck in during episode 63. based on key points in my outline, this means I need to nail down a solid floor plan, because unfortunately I write fic the same way I used to stage manage, so I must have tabs on all my actors or I literally cannot work.
Solution: rewatch episode 63, which has prolonged shots of the suite.
New problem: upon examining a bunch of screenshots, it appears that this suite is some kind of TARDIS or perhaps an Escher painting, because I can't wrap my head around the layout.
New solution: show you all example screenshots and notes to either get someone to help or just make sure all of us are mad together.
(I would tuck this under a cut to make this more convenient, but I had to try and parse this, and as my followers I insist you all join me, because maybe someone will help me get an answer.Apologies for the potato quality, by the way - I had to Discord myself my notated shots from my phone.)
The first thing hindering me is that Dogshank's big fuckin helmet blocks most of what would otherwise be decent shots of the room. This also includes all shots of the biggest mystery to me: whatever the fuck is happening with the pillars and canopy in the middle. I think there's a better shot of it in 64 that still doesn't clear up what this thing is, besides the fact that it's not a bed or anything actually useful.
Also, somehow, we never get a clear shot of the walls. Like, ever. But in the corners that aren't full of the 'shank, we do get some info about windows!
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net info gained: we have two walls of windows and some kind of pointless canopy taking up fifty percent of the floor. also, lots of hexagons.
At the very least, I need info on the windows for Plot Reasons, and boy howdy do I get it! Except it sucks! Pay attention to the notes about the temple shape/weird duplication happening if you want to, but here's my biggest gripe (and I know this is probably because of them reusing the temple assets without thinking too hard about how they designed the interior, but if it's present I feel like I have to work around it): THOSE BARS DO NOT MATCH. That is a DIFFERENT window entirely.
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Oh, and speaking of the bars: the only thing consistent between the two shots is perhaps the DUMBEST thing wrong with these windows. Can't see it? That's because it's not even there. Look:
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You know that Bionicle movie where the one guy goes "haha makes glass?" That was NOT a sentiment the builders here took to heart. (One plus of this situation: I can make this a plot point. I think. I mean, clearly the Hagemans did it just fine. Tune in in December to find out!)
net info gained: it's probably freezing up there.
Anyway, onto the next issue: unless this conversation takes place at a third wall of windows that I somehow missed (not likely as they're VERY TALL AND OBVIOUS), then this door is either decorative, or it moved, and either way it should open onto dead air. I mean, it doesn't given that Nadakhan waltzes in and leaves with Nya with no incident, but based on the long-distance shot of the mismatched windows... I'm reading too much into this, huh?
Anyway, corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures:
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net info gained: this is one of the following: some kind of suicide door that keeps moving around to keep Nya trapped inside, me being an idiot, or just really bad foresight on the animator's part.
Also, this isn't part of the suite, but I wanted to include it anyway because... well, why not?
net info gained: Nadakhan's got something against functional windows, I guess. Either this was boarded up to accommodate the giant ceremony space on the ground floor or he's got, like, a darkroom in there where he's got a bunch of cronies trying to replicate that antique photo of Delara, because once again: haha no glass!
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JUST WALL.
Anyway: rant over. Send help. I'm giving up and DIYing a floor plan that has somewhere between 1 and 4 walls of windows and furniture that's not just potted plants and weird little side tables.
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rpgworldcomic · 1 month
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#755 - Hey Man You're Covering Up the Title
Hoo boy and howdy! I've been doing two things the past 5 days: Playing FF7 Rebirth, and fighting a stomach bug! Let's just say both of those activities are trying to DUKE it out, you get me??? Huh?? Huh??? You get me.
Rebirth has so, so much going on in it that I get a little bit overwhelmed, but I'm really excited to tackle more of it. I play really, really slowly because I like to savor everything.
Also, everyone's battle mechanics are different, and it feels so stressful (yet fun) to try to get good at all of them. Back in the day I just had Tifa and Aerith on my team because they were Cute but now I do the exact same thing!
In fact, I'll probably go play that immediately after making this post. I wonder, would I have gotten into RPG World if I didn't start my RPG journey on FF7 back in the day? Would this exist? Would you be reading it? Almost certainly, entirely no.
I lied, I'm probably going to shower, shave, get a haircut, go to a doctor appointment (for the rampant dookies you see), get groceries, then come back here, THEN probably play FF7.
Oh! Atari and I are doing an RPGW:FR Enhanced Edition. Some pages out there have really glaring errors (Howard is missing his wings for the first half of the comic, go look), so we're going and making some changes to pages. Collect your vintage OG pages now while you can! Those error pages are going to be worth something one day.
Also, we've been doing this 8 years, can you believe that? 2 year long hiatuses in there, so like 6, but still. Damn, man.
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