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#bpd mood

Holy f**k. The attachment theory helped me understand so much. I realized I have a disorganized attachment style which could stem from a parent being abusive, unpredictable, and neglectful. Also, could have experienced sexual trauma. I am having a full blown identity crisis because I didn’t know what my trauma truly done to me. With disorganized attachment style, you want love but fear it as well. You want closeness but fear the rejection of it. How could you want something but be so scared to have it at the same time. No wonder it feels like I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what the f**k I need!

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i really wish i like. felt comfortable talking to people about my feelings, i have friends who offer to listen and say that if im ever in crisis i can go to them but every fucking time i just cant make myself do it. everything feels so intense yet so numb at the same time. i always know im going to leave the moodswing at some point so it feels pointless to talk to anyone about it because ill just feel stupid and guilty after. its also just seems so fucking hard to explain how i feel to them because i know they can’t understand. and hearing the same advice over and over again is so tiring. i just wish i had someone who understood and that i felt comfortable talking to but forming new relationships is so scary and hard i have no clue how to be emotionally vulnerable with anyone anymore. im sorry for venting. this is my only place to talk. thank you all for listening to me.

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hi yes someone told me my fp is a pathological liar and they’re kinda right but how dare you say that about him????? how dare you hold him accountable for what he does and acknowledge his flaws????

like yes i’ll cuss this bitch for lying to me, i’ll say he’s a piece of shit and i’ll swear i hate him but you? you shut the fuck up, he is amazing.

only i get to trash him bc ik i don’t mean it 😤

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yall ever feel an emotion so intense that your body just crumbles towards the ground and it just fully takes over and all you can do is sit there, im simultaneously feeling that and nothing at all

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Always remember that I’m not a real person and if you think you’ve perceived me, you haven’t <3 

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Why do I ALWAYS have to be someone’s favorite or I’ll die?? 

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Reminder to self: Don’t lose yourself trying to be with someone who probably isn’t even as great as you think they are

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❥ Hello everybody! How is your mood?
I’m new here, so if there are any mistakes, please forgive me.
Love you all

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So your partner is on social media and not replying to your text….well I can tell where this is going (for me at least). I’m going to feel like I’m not a priority to them, like I’m not good enough to get a good morning text. Why should I put in all this effort when they aren’t doing it?

I went down the rabbit hole and it went far deeper than that. Maybe your partner needs to relax and social media helps with that. Maybe you do need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. They are doing “that”, do something you like. For me, it’s working on my recovery, learning to how to love myself, see and believe in my self worth. I usually do this by searching up information on attachment styles. ❤️

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So let’s check in on the current state of 2021 shall we;

Homeless in two weeks - ✔️

Can’t afford anywhere new to live - ✔️

No houses are available pretty much anywhere - ✔️

Can barely afford to live right now - ✔️

Lost my fp - ✔️

Lost my friends and support network - ✔️

Can’t see a psychologist due to moving - ✔️

Arguably the most important one, left milk out overnight - ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

Well we had a good run, imma just enjoy wave after wave of breakdowns right now, see you all in 2022 😅

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*left the milk out overnight*

*has full blown breakdown*

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