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#bpd problems
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Been doing ok today, everything has been fucked lately and I’m currently getting wasted in my room.

Gained back weight that I lost and want to kill myself but ya know I can’t die fat HAHAA.

Accidentally ate 300 calories for lunch without knowing and my mum is making me have some brownie she just made so I’m scared I’ll gain again but oh well. Moving out next week and god I’m gonna stop eating.

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guy: *flirts with me*

guy:*also tells me abt his ex who he’s sill in love with and how no one will ever be good enough 4 him besides her*

my bpd: uh oh boys, looks like its time to Split ™

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It’s so hard for me to feel free to ‘be myself’ around other people. I’ve been realizing I have no confidence or self esteem, therefore I am afraid to speak up or act comfortably around others. I’m afraid I’ll do something they don’t like and they will judge or abandon me. So nobody knows who ‘I am’ because I keep a lot of myself inhibited and I act really differently around different people, which also makes me think that it’s partly why I have no sense of self. and it feels really lonely. But its my fault.

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Will someone tell me why my boyfriend getting drunk bothers me more and more each time?

Like I used to be 1000% on board.

Then I was a little upset when he drank

Then I was a little annoyed

Then I was seriously bothered

Now I just get so anxious and not wanting to talk to him when he’s drunk and I’m on the verge of a panic attack each time. WHY??

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Hey guys, I know I already asked for help, and I hate asking again, I know everyone says that but I really, really do. I hate asking at all, especially like this, and especially because everyone has it hard right now and because I know everyone’s world is kind of upside down right now. I’ve scrounged every cent I can find and I’m still $150 short from my rent if I give up electricity. I don’t want to as here, but I truly have no where else to ask due to my family disowning me because I’m a lesbian. You guys on my tumblr truly are my only family, so I guess that’s why I’m asking. If you can help me at all, I’d be eternally grateful. My CashApp is $Tophbeifong08. If there’s anything I can do for you to earn the money, let me know. I’m not good at a whole lot of things, but I’ll do my best to do whatever I can to earn the money. Thank you guys and I love you. ❤️

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