don’t mind me, i’m just having another breakdown over my fp.
this man TOLD ME TO TEXT HIM. he said he was worried about me bc i hadn’t eaten. he wanted me to tell him when i got home and he said he’d text me back.
he literally said he would try to text me back, but he warned me that he planned to drink and that he might not answer. so when he didn’t answer at all i worried a little. maybe a lot. and it pisses me off bc he literally ignored my messages. he sent me streaks.
he’s fine, he’s sending streaks, but he won’t message me back. and i’m upset because my fucking dad keeps sending me messages and i just need some damn support from his ass and he won’t message me back.
you know what hurts? being ignored constantly since as long as i can remember. ignored by family and friends. i’m just now getting the attention i craved from my friends for so long, and you know this. you know that no one listens to a word i say, especially at home. you know how that hurts me. you know how it hurts me to be told shut up when im trying to talk, and how i feel when im talked over and how i get so hurt when no one cares or shows interest in what im saying.
you know that it hurts me to my core to feel so alone, isolated and invisible but you’re not any better. we’re supposed to listen to each other but you never do. i constantly have to repeat myself because you’re not listening, even in the middle of a conversation we were supposed to be happening. you get aggravated when i say “it’s nothing. never mind it’s not important…” but i do it because im so tired of repeating myself to to everyone, or having to ask if they heard what i was saying and surprise surprise, they didn’t hear me. they never do.
i just want to be heard.
I’m in danger.
I think you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me…
If I lost you I wouldn’t be know what to do with myself…
Please, don’t ever leave me….
i still feel like abuse is the only thing that i deserve and i hate my fucked up brain for this
i wish i could shrink myself down so small till im invisible i hate myself
IOP program has been amazing for me. it’s coming to a close soon and it’s bittersweet. i really want to extend my stay but i feel like i am finally stable enough, even though i’m on a tight rope, to find a therapist and do this on my own. i’ll be forever grateful for this experience and ill miss all my friends i’ve made in group.
im nervous and anxious for what the future holds but i’m ready to face it head on and i’m ready to get back to work…i need a routine in my life. i’ve been unemployed for like 6 months already…
How to tell someone that as hard as you’ve tried they’re just not in line to be your favorite person
Funny how no ones ever been sorry about hurting me it’s always been about the way I reacted
i’ve lost 6kg!!!!!!!!!!!!
i pierced my nipples alone ;)
me flirting: damn baby, are you the will to live? because I don’t have you 😏
How do I do this?
How do I keep moving on when I realize it’s all down hill from here. My body and mind are broken. My surgery seams to never be happening. My ears are going fast and I haven’t learned sign language. My back is giving out more and more so is my hip. My body is failing me and fast. I’m in my wheelchair constantly. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so close to giving up I want to so bad yet I keep holding on when I know there is no point. I just need to to end.
Okay well why I have I invested so much time, energy, and money into this? My mutals & I call it
･:*+.extensive chronic depression.+*:･
Want a membership card?
im terrified i might never get better
having bpd is like getting slammed in the face with self loathing so hard and fast it knocks you off your feet..
and then you shit yourself as you hit the ground
one of the best kinds i think