#brain health issues

[bamsara]

ok no yeah i hate human hormones and body chemicals actaully because the anxiety caused some physical symptoms and i had muscle spasms and speech problems for 30ish minutes and i havent had a Moment™️ like that in like 6 months, i think this game is rigged

also, i should stop drinking caffeine. again. attempt 2# at quitting caffeine i believe in us

also 2x i want to art stream. i want to draw. i will force this body to my will

#i havent had any brain damage shit in a while i was just chilling man #at least its not a daily hourly thing like it used to be in the start bruh idk how i handled that shit #anyway i have heating pad and chugging water #and the numbness is subsiding #i need to draw my ocs and also sun n moon and also commission #sara shush #sorry for the word ramble #tw health issues

[ds29gurl2]

Me whenever people be talking about dumb shit at work, like bitch I DON"T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOUR LIFE, GO AWAY, then I calm down and feel a little bad, ONLY a little though

#me asf #self love #mental health #self improvement #neurodivergent #its the neurodivergency #bombastic side eye #living with adhd #adhd #sensory issues #sensory overload #i get overstimulated #actually adhd #adhd problems #adhd brain #adhd things #neurodiverse stuff #actually neurodiverse

[cemeterything]

seeing the chernobyl fanfiction ask i got last month on my dash again and while i have never and will never write chernobyl fanfiction i feel like i might as well confess that i used to play littlest pet shop nuclear fallout disaster rp as a kid (nobody lives/everybody dies, graphic descriptions of radiation poisoning) so like anon wasn't that far off i guess

#🐉 #i did it to cope with my childhood phobia of radiation (to the point that i wigged out if there were bananas in the house because i read #that they contained a small trace of radiation and thought i was going to die of radiation poisoning from banana proximity) #(i had some problems and issues okay. mostly exacerbated by my mom telling me that microwaves and mobile phones would cook my brain and #give me turbo cancer if i stood too near them because she fell down the alternative health conspiracy theory rabbithole HARD) #but also because i was like. fascinated by the horrors. #and then i grew up and lost my phobia but kept the hyperfixation #ANYWAYS

[skunkes]

i may be stupid

#(but im not sure) #a doodley #i am not going to lie to you guys i am insanely scared of anti depressants. and adjacent medication. #first of all like ive said i dont think i need them #im doing way better than last yr(s) despite being in the same circumstances. i did in fact will my brain to get it together. #i told my doctor i think my issues are a result of my environment and that is what i think it is. #i dont think meds cld help change my innate personality flaws #second of all sorry but my ****** is all i have i cant risk losing it to the side effects #idk! like. idk. you guys really dont get it it really is just laziness for me #since i was a kid i just didnt have Goals and its continued to my detriment #i was also raised to doubt all my decisions so here we are #im sure my friends think im lazy bc what ive described to them IS laziness #im like the only person i know without hashtag goals and life motivation...and all my friends have mental health stuff too #so its not that...! its personality. its laziness #its literally like the ''my son is 35 and refuses to get a job and does nothing all day'' reddit posts #with ''he's not depressed he's lazy you should just kick him out and refuse to keep providing for him'' comments and all

[icewindandboringhorror]

................ he 

#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so... #......he #cats #EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he #I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video #s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted #for now though yeah.. just cats #The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a #sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist #who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb #and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left #undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth #So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects #so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on #this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on #them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain #organizes tasks sometimes lol #*** #(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word #it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj) #ANYWAY... eeeee #Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing #Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!

[rosalinesurvived]

Send to 10 other bloggers you think are wonderful. Keep this going to make someone smile. ☆♥

Oh. Okay. OKAYY!!!

@cut-out-paper-stars

@lesbianyosano

@sad-emo-dip-dye

@dinosaur-mayonnaise

@clementinecalls

@alicentdeservesbetter

@alphaboyd

@spikeface

@mylestoyne

@dayurno

💕✨❤️

#*starts sobbing like a weirdo at an oscars* ALL of you have contributed to my mental health issues in one way or another!! #all of you are galaxy brained and the seratonin and joy i’ve experienced whilst on your blogs can and WILL sustain me for life <3 <3 #carry on slaying!

[mishapen-dear]

something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.

like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”

it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.

he’ll be the monster. wont he?

#qsmp #he loves his friends and he wants to hurt them #he loves his friends and he doesnt want to hurt them #qsmp badboyhalo #ita like. He was torturing himself with the soul vultures because he kidnapped ron and threw down some scary magma mobs #and then forever changwd rhe whole fuckin narrative with that appreciation room and bad remembered the joy of community #and then cellbit. Where bad was like ‘i see him destroying himself to get the eggs back and i know where that road goes’ #’his loved ones dont want that to happen to him. i dont want that to happen to him’ #and then purgatory gave him the first actal legitimate lead for finding their kids and he just had to get worse #and so he fucking swandived into self destructive violence (and the cc was purposefully playing qbad more recklessly violent) #(bbgirl couldve been lured into a trap so so easily) #ive lost my point somewhere now im just rotating qbbh in my brain and all the parallels #ah yes. But now theyre out of purgatory. And he refuses to regret what he did because he *had* to do what he could to save dapper #and the other eggs #because he has a huge complex about being the ‘only one who can protect the eggs’ because of a thousand little cuts and his mental health #issues. Like he’s Wrong bur its such a fascinating little direction for his character. Yes king burn thyself on the pure of protection #and then burn in a nuclear blast too because your self sufficiency left you to care for your egg alone #you can take care of the eggs. you can hurt your friends. look at how much you hurt your friends #look st the monster you are . your teeth are sharp and your claws are large #never mind that time you sent tina into a panic attack because you tried to recreate safety #never mind that your friends and family are worried about you #you are falling apart. but so many monsters survive the killing blow

[tj-crochets]

I cannot focus because I just want to work on a puzzle so I am outsourcing this decision lol *when I made the stingray pattern I realized as I was cutting out the fabric the tail was too short and too narrow so I just cut the tail by eyeballing it but I really should fix the paper pattern before I share it **I made a great orange and black halloween-y dress to fit 18" dolls, intending to make a black cat to wear it and give it to my friend. But I messed up a little making the black cat and changed the shape of its face and then put it in a poofy white pirate shirt and space bell bottoms and somehow, despite looking nothing like Howl Moving Castle, it feels exactly like Howl Moving Castle and I cannot bring myself to put it back in the dress ***an experiment in using scrap fabric and scrap batting for plushie filling! He is Very Dense and very cuddly but currently faceless because I originally intended to make him a mothman but I am considering making him a Creature so I can use another pair of embroidered eyes. Probably the green ones.

#the person behind the yarn #I had a pretty severe health flare up last week #I am okay now! but some of my health issues being endocrine related #means that sometimes flareups kinda disrupt my equilibrium a bit #and my brain is like. spinning out a bit focus-wise #it'll even out eventually but until it does it is hard to decide what to make lol #(the yellow and purple fabric is currently lying on the floor in the middle of my room) #(like a rug. it lives there now)

[not-poignant]

heya folks I'm struggling pretty hard with depression right now so I'm lagging a bit on replying to comments and asks and just generally doing functional stuff like editing, so I have the next Palmarosa chapter but I still need to edit and right now just showering seems impossible do not recommend Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD y'know the combo is mean

#mean combo stupid stuff #personal #maybe even delete later #i was going to put the chapter up tonight #and then realised last night we were gonna have an issue #because of my mento health #anyway if you feel like i haven't replied to you yet because of something you did #it's never that #it's really because my brain

[the-fandom-crossroads]

That moment when you're trying to figure out if Alastor's Antisocial Personality Disorder leans more towards the sociopath or psychopath only for him to have a MAJORITY of traits on both lists.

The man's out here passing all the tests I swear.

But yeah at the very least Alastor has ASPD. You only need 3 of the major symptoms to qualify and yeah. . .

I think this was discussed when the Pilot originally came out? But I figured it was worth bringing up after the end of season 1. Folks are wondering if he'll go full villain or get a redemption arc and I feel like we'll probably end up somewhere inbetween.

Like convince him it's in his personal interests to protect the hotel instead of going through with whatever current plans he has. But that convincing won't be because it's the "morally right" thing to do. And he won't suddenly stop manipulating every situation to end with the best personal outcome.

Because at this point that's just how his brain works and it can't be magic'd away with the power of friendship.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #mental health #alastor radio demon #radio demon #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin spoilers #if you couldn't tell the alastor brain rot be strong #after the season finale #and yes this is in response to a bunch of ooc angst bonding fics #like you can do the angst bonding and not make it ooc #but i'm realizing most folks don't realize #alastor's issues can't be magically turned off with a hug

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Your brain has the ability to help you recall a specific moment in which you felt hurt or betrayed (or anything else "negative") by someone you cared for: it serves you as a self-preservation mechanism, so that when you find yourself in a similar situation (according to determined patterns and schemas that help your brain store and recognize potential similar triggers), you "know" how to respond and act. The point is that more often than not, your brain (that only wants to keep you safe) may even misinterpret situations by seeing threats where there's none (or not in such a way as it wants you to think): this happens because trauma's triggers often stay unprocessed and therefore your brain cannot really differentiate the whole spectrum of situations that you may encounter in your life.

Eg. someone is saying that they cannot come with you somewhere, and you may think they're abandoning you forever, while the truth may be they just can't (anymore) or don't feel well enough to or... anything else. It's not necessarily a permanent abandonment, and it is not something that has to be directly about you or "because" of you/your fault. Communication can help you understand better the situation and realize it all; but more often than not, your brain doesn't think about this option and goes full force into a negative mental pattern, especially if in the past you've had to deal with real abandonment. This is because your brain prefers to overestimate a potential threat, instead of not considering it as so (exactly cause it wants to save you, first and foremost).

(source + more infos)

#words #healing #positivity #important #thoughts #self love #positive thinking #self healing #healingjourney #love yourself #abandonment issues #relationships #triggers #trauma #brain work #psychology #mental health #emotions #emotional health #emotional abuse #recovery #reminders

[nettleandthorne]

i'm actually back on this account after two months! damn! hello!

the nano burnout took longer to recover from than i thought it would, but i am now actively working on hands in the deep, dark earth again. my new year's resolution is to work on it at least once a week, and i'm currently working through editing what i wrote during nanowrimo so that the plot and lore of the story are more settled in my head before i progress. i still might not be as active on here as i was during november, and i'll participate in fewer tag games since i'm not creating as many new scenes, but it's good to be back!

#health issues are now thankfully over #the grieving process from the bereavement at the end of nov is mostly done #the seasonal sad is still at the edges of my brain but i'm doing a little better now #december and january have just been quite a lot to handle but we're handling it! #currently sitting in my favourite cafe doing some editing and drinking hot chocolate #hands in the deep dark earth #writing

[watchersclaws-blog]

Godda Love it.

tldr I got up from writing to get a drink quickly and spent 4 hours cleaning instead.

I Hate that My ADHD Hyper focus is Almost All Hyper, and No Focus. I start getting into a groove with Writing or another task I wanted to complete (Like a build in space engineers).

But then next thing I know,

I've cleaned my entire Apartment piece by piece Over the last $ hours Procrastinating Writing and or the task I was just getting good and into.

May I add,

I have had the doc open the whole time Just staring at me guilting me to clean faster to get back to working on it.

I mean I love that I Finally cleaned, don't get me wrong. Fatigue Will give you a F.I.S.H. kind of attitude some days, but

It's just not How I was hoping to productive today.

why must getting a glass of water lead me Away from writing. for four hours...

#adhd #adhd problems #adhd brain #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #executive dysfunction #space engineers #pc games #writing #creative writing #writers block #new kind of Writers block #Drink water #stay hydrated #chronic fatigue #the fatigue is real #chronic pain #health issues

[palms-upturned]

Tbh as a cane user it’s a little funny to me that Harry gets shot in the leg (and potentially the shoulder) and then has to just. Continue w his Jamrock shuffle. Sounds like a wheelchair situation to me, but damn, nobody had even a spare cane for the guy? Crutches, perhaps? Couldn’t even like go out and get a particularly large stick? He reopens his wound just by taking a nap and having a nightmare, and then if u try and let him catch his breath you’ll just trigger the idle animation where Cuno makes Harry give him a piggy back ride 😩 and then you can’t even do drugs about it or Jean will bully you. How about I shoot YOU in the shoulder and the thigh and see how well YOU do even trying to MOVE without fourteen different substances in you, hm?? Anyway I think there should be a cane in the game with +2 Pain Threshold (pain management) +1 Volition (soldiering on) -2 Hand/Eye Coordination (hands full) and +1 Half Light (improvised weapon)

#disco elysium #meg talks #many thoughts head full #my hc is that harry’s health and injuries give him a reason to at least consider retiring from the rcm #me every time i think abt the ‘’good’’ endings: here’s how harry can still quit— #anyway it’s interesting how harry has like. A Hole In His Leg #and is described as having mobility issues bc of it Obviously #but it just has to be brushed over in order to continue the game #lena talks abt accessibility issues in martinaise and roy talks abt his own chronic issues from the radiation #even kim is visually impaired and deals w some shame around that bc of ableist bullying from his childhood #but the player character is dealing with some sort of brain trauma AND a weak heart AND chronic pains AND (at least) one bullet wound #and supposedly still has the stamina to run all around martinaise #u could say it would be too difficult/expensive to animate harry walking w a cane #or that it would limit how many things harry can have equipped simultaneously #but well. that’s just sort of ironic in a meta way to me #that the game touches on ableism but still considers it a hassle to put the player in the shoes of a disabled person #even tho… that’s p much what harry is

[holocene-sims]

a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊

#holocene.txt #hlcn: story extras #consider this a thanks for the kind words on gratitude day :) #i wanna respond to everyone individually when i have time and also wax poetic about how much every comment means to me #it really does mean a lot #it's been a rough year and a very lonely year like i'm genuinely just so :/ #i lost both of my grandmothers this year very suddenly and the holidays feel empty now and i'm dealing with scary health issues #i finally had a brain mri after waiting for it to get scheduled since JUNE and now i have to wait on results and undergo some other testing #and i'm losing my mind a little because i planned a nice christmas gift for my mom and it feels ruined because the post office lost it #and my dad ruined the whole surprise of it by calling customer support on speaker phone with her in the room...and she ofc heard everything #i just wanted something nice for my mom :( she deserves it and although i have other gifts for her still it's not all what i planned #i don't mean to rant but i just wanted to add context when i say it means a lot that anyone even remotely likes my pixels #i may not know most of you very well *yet* (trying to fix that!!) but it's nice to feel a little support from somewhere :) beyond nice #and sorry for being absent a lot this year but i swear i have so much appreciation for y'all and i love you and your pixels dearly #i always feel bad like maybe it doesn't seem like i care in return bc i'm offline a lot now but i really do!! i care a lot!! love y'all xox

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***