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#breakup recovery
manicsammi · 2 months ago
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I am the worst kind of person. 
The begging kind,
The pleading kind,
The kind that falls to my knees for you.
The foolish kind.
- S.W
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Day 8:  Things I’ve done (or am going to do) in an effort to heal and move forward
I’m not good at dropping people and moving along as if they never mattered to me.  It appears that R is the type of person who can.  And that’s alright- I’d much rather be a person who can have healthy, and intimate, and truly meaningful connections with the people I’m involved with.  If I was able to end things on Wednesday by blocking R and then not thinking twice about it... I’d be genuinely concerned about the type of person I had become and my lack of empathy or mental stability.
1.  Get out of the house.  I went to breakfast with a friend on Sunday and then we went to Target.  It helped a tiny bit and then was okay until it really wasn’t.  I started to have a minor panic attack in Target and just wanted to leave right away and get home.  Thanks to masks still being required, my face was covered and nobody could really tell anything was going on, but internally, I was going nuts.
2.  Getting some fresh air.  I spent lots of time outside.   I love summer weather and even though some of my time outside probably made my fever worse, it’s better than having stayed inside nonstop for a week.
3.  I read lots of articles on breakups and processing them, as well on some about ghosting and being ghosted.  My mom sent me a couple to read as well.
4.  I have been journaling daily and blogging, because writing has helped me get through similar life events before.
5.  I talked this through with multiple people.  My parents, my brothers, my best friend, a couple other friends, Instagram friends, and Facebook friends.  I don’t usually bring these things up on social media, but I couldn’t pretend to be okay and I needed as many outlets as possible.
6.  I’m going to start DisneyBounding again.  I’ve always loved Disney and expressing my sense of style through Disney fashion- but I haven’t done any of that since the end of March, after I met R.  Not that he stopped me, I just didn’t really do it anymore.  Apparently it’s helpful to get back into hobbies and activities that are important to you that you may have let go of during your relationship.
7.  Crafting.  I was doing some of this toward the end, because during the last month I was starting to feel unwanted and like things weren’t right and crafting has always helped to make me feel better.  I’m going to try to continue with that and maybe take part in a craft fair to see if I can make some sales in October!
8.  Snuggling with my dogs- because that never hurts, no matter the situation.
9.  Once I get to a point where I don’t feel like interacting with other people will potentially put me into a panic or give me extreme anxiety- I’m going to hit the job hunt hard.  But I need to be able to interview without totally losing it.
10.  I watched Legally Blonde.  An article I saw said that it was a good breakup movie.  I haven’t felt like watching much lately- especially my comfort or favorite movies because I don’t want them tainted by this memory or this feeling.  I don’t want to remember how this felt.  I want this to be a vague memory, like my breakup with J.
11.  I’m going to get out of town and change the scenery. This weekend, my brother and I are going to visit our brother in Virginia.  I think it’ll really help to take a short trip and do something new.
12.  I’m going to to go the movies since I enjoy going to the movies.  That was apparently a huge deal breaker with R.  I just wonder why he was so adamant against going to movies... I wonder if there was some kind of stress or fear associated with the movie theatre for him?
13.  I’m going to give myself a few months before I talk to someone new- seriously, anyway.  I will not get involved with anyone else in a serious capacity until I’ve moved on from this completely.
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simplyinspirenow · 11 months ago
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Losing Hope in Love After a Breakup
Losing Hope in Love After a Breakup
I am currently taking a break from giving personal email advice until 4th January 2021, but I will fully resume on that date. In this video, strategist Dating Guy talks …
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okay, so sometimes in the notes of my phone, I write down stuff that could end up being lyrics to a song or something along those lines. and I was going through some because I honestly forgot what I wrote in the past, and I found an unfinished song that I think could be better as a free-verse poem. I wrote this back when I was still recovering from a really bad break up, my self-esteem was really broken and my intrusive thoughts were up higher than ever so its kind of on the sadder side. but I wanted to share what I found!
I called it "Sleepless Nights"
Night after night
I find I can't sleep
My anxiety yelling through my thoughts
But I can't even scream
I can't help but feel
Like I ran away too soon
I always do that, don't I?
Guess it can't be helped
I'm a hopeless romantic who can't get a grip on reality
I've got a bone to pick with my own thoughts
I can't keep them from running off
I'm sorry for my mentality, but it's tellin' me
"Run, girl, run, you're not doing it right
Girl, please, they just want you out of their sight
Come on, can't you see?
Your standards are too high
You can't open your eyes
You're blind to your own fantasy"
if you ended up liking this, I'll consider sharing other things I've written in the future!
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oversweetpeaches · a year ago
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i finally have closure with an ex!!! and we’re on good terms :)) i feel accomplished and i’m happy that we’re at least good. i understand we’re not going to be good friends at least for a long time but i’m happy he at least knows i’m sorry for how things ended and i know he has no ill feelings towards me :) progress! mending things that i feel are worth being mended :)
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silverowlet · 2 years ago
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Sometimes I dream about her
But they’re never good dreams
It’s like my subconscious is showing me who she was
The entire time
And when she tried to contact me
I blocked her
I’m learning to let go, and move on
Time to fully embrace my new life
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sunshineysprinkles · 2 months ago
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idk who needs to hear this today, but don't go lurking on ex friends and partners. nothing you see or read will make you feel better there. all you're doing is hurting your own feelings. leave them in the past and do your best to move on with your own life, to make what you have now happier rather than dwelling on things that used to be (:
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friedloverballoon · 17 days ago
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How to deal with a breakup/rejection
1: Cry. Cry for hours
2: Eat your feelings
3: Listen to Kitty's The Lizzy McGuire Experience
4: Get some Chick-Fil-A and a blanket and spend the night watching Netflix
5: Go to bed early and envision your forever single life
6: Repeat
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Day 8:  Is it insensitive for me to say, "Get your shit together, so I can love you?"
R was probably dealing with a lot... probably internal struggles... emotional issues rooted in his own problems and his own history... maybe even questioning things about himself.
It’s still hard for me to be okay with this- because no matter what he was going through, it is not okay what he did to me, how he did it, or how he just disappeared with no regard for how it would affect me.  He was supposed to care about me and he was supposed to be better than J was.  I was mistaken, and that’s on me for allowing myself to trust someone like him.
Exiting a situation like this, I’ve always still showed some level of compassion for the other person.  Even in “bitching them out” or “saying my final piece,” I’ve usually still offered forgiveness or reassurance or encouragement.  Because I try to be a good person and there’s no reason to hurt someone in such a harsh way-- especially considering they are someone who you did genuinely care for at some point in time- or maybe you still care for them, just not in the same way.
I wish I could have quick fixed whatever it was that was going on with R and that we could have given things a real shot to see if they’d work out and what a future for us would look like- because aside from his shortcomings, I think we could have had something pretty spectacular.
Today I woke up with a fever and chills, feeling about as bad physically as I have so far, but a little bit better mentally.  I took some Tylenol and drank some water and slept some more.  The fever broke, again.
It’s been a really rough week and it’s seemed SO much longer.  Thinking back to conversations I had with certain friends on social media when everything first transpired, those seem like they happened a month or so ago, but it hasn’t even been a week since I started talking about it.
Keep me in your thoughts, guys.  Hopefully by next week, this will be mostly behind me and I won’t be feeling any of these feelings anymore.
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wholeheartedsuggestions · 6 months ago
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relationships are so much more than dating. there are romantic connections, platonic connections, and everything in between. so when a relationship ends, whatever it may have looked like, the fall out is painful. it’s a break up and it’s heartbreak. and it matters because it does hurt. it’s okay to take time to heal from it even if it doesn’t present traditionally. losing your best friend feels like a heart attack because that was your person. and it’s okay to feel that loss just as much, if not more than, a romantic breakup.
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silverowlet · 2 years ago
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365 days ago, today was "hello"
30 days ago, today was "we're done"
21 days ago, I said goodbye to you on snapchat
14 days ago, I said goodbye to you on Instagram
Today, I say goodbye for good
I don't regret the time I had with you. But it's time that I let you go, both the real you, and the one in my mind
So goodbye, and don't come back
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sharkpositive · 9 months ago
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You do not need to keep a door open for people who hurt you. You’re allowed to keep them out of your life, you’re allowed to have them blocked universally, and you are not obligated to give them any of your new information. You don’t owe them your spaces, or any methods of communication. It’s okay to feel upset once you’ve moved on, or cut someone out, and sometimes it can feel hard to finally block that one account, or that one phone number, but you are absolutely within your right to do so for whatever reason you may have. Do what you need to do in order to recover; it doesn’t make you a bad person to do so, even if they say otherwise.
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