Thought I’d share some Deep Breathing gifs that I’ve found helpful to focus on when I need something tangible to calm myself. Just found these in a Google search, there’s so many others but these were the ones I’ve used in the last year.
(via "Funny Sansevieria, Sansevieria Trifasciata, Snake Plant" Classic T-Shirt for Sale by HelenGie)
A humorous T-Shirt of a plant that has more than one name: Sansevieria, Sansevieria Trifasciata, Laws Tongue, Saint George's Sword. It will oxygenate you well where you sleep. This motif will be appreciated by every lover of plants, gardening and fresh air who has a sense of humor.
man though I thought one of the final bosses of a brutal orchestra run was sort’ve odd but it turns out there’s a second one which One: makes the first final boss I fought even weirder because it’s no longer a canonical “problem maker” and Two: he is just an extremely bizzare character
I would love to talk about it more but nobody plays the game and I love it so I want to keep it a secret
Advent of a Long Marriage
A swirl of grace like the wind
clears the way for what’s underneath,
swallows what seems beyond reach,
and a feeling of deep peace is left
in this commonplace space
where we’ve been anchored.
There is a softness, a slowness,
and familiarity gives off it own glow,
so we watch, stay awake,
the wise knower in each of us
heralding what grabs our attention.
We ponder what…
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.