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thesffcorner · 5 years

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On the Come Up

On the Come Up a YA contemporary novel, written by Angie Thomas. It follows Bri, a teenage girl from Garden Heights, who dreams about following in her father’s footsteps and becoming a rapper, though her father never got the chance to make it big. When her mother loses her job, and Bri’s family gets put in a bad situation, her dream of making it becomes something she must do at any cost; even if it means sacrificing her art in the process. I have heard nothing but great things about Angie Thomas and her writing, though I was never compelled to read the The Hate U Give. However, her second book On the Come Updid, and I can now say I completely understand the hype. Thomas is an amazing author, and I am even compelled to give the Hate U Give a try, because the way she writes characters and slice of life stories is absolutely incredible. The writing in this book was flawless. The way all the characters speak, and act feels completely natural and verisimilitudinous; I believe that these are people with lives and desires and personalities that extend beyond the pages of the book. At no point did I find any of the dialogue jarring or cringey; the teens talk like teens talk, the parents talk like parents talk, and the jokes felt appropriately clever. What I mean by that, is that oftentimes authors write their characters to be funny and quirky in a way that teenagers just aren’t; in here, Bri, Malik, Sonny, Curtis, everyone sounded and acted like actual teenagers. That includes corny insults and baiting, lot’s of pop culture references to things that are actually relevant. There wasn’t a point in the book where I though the slang was too much, or the humor was trying too hard; I am just incredibly impressed by Thomas’ ability to write such natural dialogue and characters. The other thing that she excelled at was making all these characters have distinct personalities and motivations, and they all were very relatable, and if not relatable then understandable. The adults, especially Aunt Pooh, Jay, and Supreme do some pretty bad things, but you understand exactly where they are coming from, even if you don’t agree with them. The same was true with Bri and her friend group; there were many points where she treats the boys badly or they treat her badly and they don’t really apologize, and it’s because that’s exactly how teenagers act; they don’t always know the best way to express themselves or what the right thing to say is, and sometimes they just plain refuse to admit they are wrong. Beyond the characters, I also really liked the world. Garden Heights is such a colorful setting for the story, from both ends of the spectrum; there are the poorer, crime ridden areas where it’s normal for a SWAT team to do a drug bust in the middle of the day on a playground, but then there is also the Church, and the pretty houses on the other end of the neighborhood. There are a lot of themes that Thomas covers just by virtue of the story being set where it is: the fear and uncertainty of living in a bad area, the fear of the police shooting black youth for no reason, the gang activity that while bad, also provides some outlet for people. None of these themes are necessarily the focus of the book, but they are important in informing both the world Bri lives in, and her own character. Her father had been killed in a gang related shootout, her mother had been a drug addict, she is from the Heights, while going to a fairly upper class, elite high school. These are all things Bri has to contend with, and they inform the way she makes decisions and expresses herself. I really enjoyed the duality of the characters Bri is surrounded with; her best friend is her aunt Pooh, who is young enough to be her older sister, and is part of a gang that deals drugs. While she clearly loves Bri and wants the best for her, she’s not great at keeping Bri safe, or even just being there for her, the way Bri needs her to be. I loved this relationship, and I found the way Thomas explores their dynamic to really ask a lot of questions from both sides, while leaving the readers to make their own mind about what we think Bri or Pooh should do. That’s I think the best part about the book; it presents all these situations and characters, and a lot of them are wrong. Being a drug dealer is objectively wrong, but what if that’s the only available option you have for making money? But is it really? If it is, is it worth the risk and the knowledge of what what you sell does to people? But does that make you a bad person, and even if it does, is it justified to use that to hurt the people around you? I have to comment on one last thing before I move onto the plot; I have read books about black characters from white authors, and nothing compares to own voices representation. The way Thomas writes her characters, and her own experience and pattern of speech, and knowledge about what black teens go through is something that can’t really be matched by an author of a different background, and I really appreciate that teens can see themselves in fiction like this. The plot of the book was actually a lot looser than I thought it would be. Bri spends a lot of time not rapping, but living her life, dealing with teenage drama. But when she does rap, I found the verses inspired and very meaningful, since they deal with her own struggles while being catchy. There’s a lot of discussion about music and specifically rap in this song; I feel like a playlist of all the songs that are sampled at the ring battles would be an appropriate soundtrack to the book. I also really liked the exploration of what Bri actually says in her song and how people perceive it. There’s a lot said about playing into stereotypes, about talking about things you don’t know, being misconstrued or misunderstood. I was with Bri even during the times when she was wrong, or when people telling her to done herself down were right; she never does and she stays true to herself throughout the book, and that’s what made her such a compelling character. The relationships that Bri has were all very well done and interesting; I loved the dynamic between her Sonny and Malik, I loved Malik’s Simon vs. the Homo-sapiens Agendainspired romance, I liked the relationship between Curtis and Bri. The relationships I found most compelling however were between the family: Jay, Bri, Trey and Aunt Pooh; they were such a fun, loving family, even if none of the characters were perfect, and I enjoyed all the time I got to spend with them. Overall, I really loved this book. There is so much good in here, that I recommend it even if you know nothing about rapping and only care about the slice of life stuff. If you are a fan of hip-hop however, you will love this, and I guarantee, I will read anything else that Thomas comes out with. Easily one of the best things I’ve read this whole year.

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#on the come up #on the come up review #moni talks #book review

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Objects in the Rear View Mirror (Craquameron) - Chapter Fourteen - Saiphl

I’ll never lie to you and that’s a fact - Chapter Fourteen

Brianna/Aquaria /Kameron PoV

And maybe I’m crazy

Oh it’s crazy and it’s true

I know you can save me

No one else can save me now but you.

I don’t even pay attention to the ceremony, how could I? Aquaria does her thing, assists Nebraska and makes sure everything goes smoothly for the work of art our little girl is on her big day. When the newly weds come out of the church, Aquaria goes in third line behind them, walking hand in hand with Kameron, both of them smiling to each other. The spell seems to break when I look intensely at them, and Kameron locks gazes with me and her smile starts fading, then comes Aquaria, who kisses Kameron’s cheek and then winks at me.

My heart is furiously thumping, and I can’t decide what’s making it worse: watching them holding hands, or the fact that no matter why, I’m utterly sure that this is all my fault. I get on my feet and before I can even make it conscious, I’m running to one of the side exits, now the crowd is gathered in front of the church for the pictures, and I can’t be there with a face full of fear and pain. I can smell the warm scent of summer afternoon, I’m almost out when I’m abruptly stopped by a firm grip on my left arm.

First instinct, I pull my arm, just to get caught by an arm around my waist. The warmth and the perfume so well known to be mistaken. Kameron wraps me with both arms, leaning her chin carefully on top of my head. “Hey… breathe, just breathe Bri, I knew you’d come here. I will always find you,” she says, softly caressing my back, and annoyance creeps over me with every second that I feel the waves of calm wrapping us, like have always been.

“No… just let me go Kammy, I can’t…” I stutter, fighting against her iron grip.

“Listen to me Bri, we don’t have a lot of time, and your family will be looking for you in any second.” She says, adjusting her position to look into my eyes. “We… Aquaria and me need to talk to you. I beg you to stop running.” Instinctively, I lean my cheek to her hand and close my eyes. Kameron always make me feel safe, and I can’t understand how can she still give me that sensation when she has just shattered my heart. “I want you to know I love you, and I always will Bri. Just give us a chance to talk.”

I nod to her, then she gives me a soft peck on the lips and release her grip from my body. I whine to the loss of her touch and a freezing sensation gets under my skin on the spots her hands touched me seconds before.

It takes me a couple more minutes to reach the restrooms in the back of the church, and I look at my reflection on the mirror, it’s clear that I’ve been crying, luckily I’m in a wedding, so no one will question my puffy eyes. I fix my makeup and by the moment I go to the front door, Jamin, Blair, Monique and Antwan are looking for me and I can’t thank enough my dear friend and sister-in-law monopolizing me, taking me away from the rest of my family, while I see as Aquaria and Kameron hopping on Alaska’s SUV, going to the party.

I hop on my brother’s car, I have not the strength to ride with my parents, and somehow, the silent understanding in Jamin’s face, offers the peace of mind that I’m desperately in need of. Blair fills the silence talking about how gorgeous Nebraska looks on her bridal gown, and how much her husband and her look alike.

By the time we arrive to the venue, I feel at ease, and ready to survive the evening, at least, I think I’m ready for it. Sharon leads us to a table close to theirs. Mom and her share a tight hug and some tears, all filled with the memories they’ve built together across twenty six years of friendship. Sharon tells my mom and dad that we are family and we should be close to them as that.

I see the people come and go, and I wonder if someday mom would tell the same things to Sharon and Alaska on my wedding day. Watching Aquaria and Kameron playing the perfect hosts, makes me feel that it won’t happen… at least not with Aquaria or Kameron. My heart aches a bit with that thought, because as all my life, I screwed my chances by taking so much time. I screwed my chances by being so hopelessly in love with the both of them.

And maybe I’m lonely

That’s all I’m qualified to be

There’s just one and only

One and only promise I can keep

As soon as the car gets in motion, I look at Kameron, who’s been looking down to her hands since hopping on next to me. I wrap her in my arms, quietly whispering in her ear “it’s ok baby, it’s ok… we’ll figure this out,” I say one time and another, mostly to make myself believe it, but also to keep her from start crying.

Mom looks at us from the rear view mirror, the heavy weight of her gaze falling on me like an anchor. “Girls, I know what’s happening here, so I beg you, don’t do anything you can regret.” Mom’s voice makes me jump, that’s the moment when I realize she knows… of course she does, Momma should’ve told her everything about my concerns, and adding one plus one, she knows that both Kameron and I have our own agenda.

“We won’t Sharon, don’t worry,” Kameron says, the resolution in her voice making me shiver. Mom nods in agreement, and goes back to the road, then Momma turns a little to her side, looking at us.

“I know you’re going through a rough patch, but remember this is Nebraska’s day, so please, help us to make it easier for her.” With this final words, mom looks sympathetically at us one last time and then turns to look up ahead. Kameron sighs, kisses my cheek and then sits straight on her place, fastening her seat belt. The rest of the road to the Wedding Party is deafening silent.

The gloomy aura surrounding us along the trip fades as soon as we reach the beautiful garden Nebraska chose for the date. We all smile and greet people, say hello to our cousin Heidi and her sisters Cherry, Lola, Veruca, Kitty and Amy and we also have a chance to meet Sjoerd’s family who arrived just in time for the celebration. Kameron helps us with every single detail, from making sure the waiters did their thing in time, to helping the guests to find their tables.

Mom takes care of leading the Crackers to their places, a table just besides ours, the closest spot to Nebraska and Sjoerd’s place of honor. Brianna si looking at us from her place on the round table, both Kameron and I smile at her, and even though she looks cheerful, I know well those smiles aren’t reaching her gorgeous eyes.

A random guy takes her to the dance floor, he’s holding her close and I can’t help the pang of jealousy hitting my chest, my first instinct is to take Kameron to the dance floor and swing close to them. Just a couple of turns and I can hear her laughing, the kind of honest laugh ringing from her mouth like the chirping of a bird. Kameron looks at her, frowning and she tightens her grip on my waist, one more turn and she kisses my lips, making it longer than expected, and making her trip on her partner’s feet.

She apologizes to the guy, who’s clearly holding back a joyful laugh, then they go back to the table. I see Brianna taking her clutch and going to the restrooms. I ask Kameron to go back to our seats and we do, then I excuse myself to the restrooms and I hurry up, just to catch Brianna there, exhaling to her reflection. “So… you’re together now?” she asks, bitterly.

“Kind of, but we… I want to talk to you” I say, stuttering, oblivious to my fingers fidgeting the edge of my gown cleavage. “Listen Bri… I… “

She turns to face me “save it Aquaria, if you’re going to say that you love me, it’s fair for you to know your girlfriend told exactly the same to me back in the church”, the annoyance in her voice cutting like a knife on my spirit.

“Well… that’s true if I may say, we both love you, so much that it hurts.” I say, the pain in my voice too clear to my own taste, this meant to be a statement, not a plea. “But I need to know what do you think, what do you feel.” At that point, I feel my resolution crashing to the floor.

She sighs loudly “listen Aquaria, I don’t really know what the fuck to think right now. I feel hurt, and confused and utterly mad at the both of you” she says, and her voice cracks. “You both say you love me but your PDAs tell me you’re head over heels into each other. I’m finding really hard to believe those ‘I love yous’, when all you do is show how in love you two are.”

I groan in frustration. “Because you’re doing anything but hiding! How do you think I felt when I saw you leave that room refusing our company?” I ask, raising my voice. She takes a couple of steps to me. “Then nothing but silence, you think you’re making it easy for us, but NO!” I take a deep breathe, and she’s right in front of me. “You’re just being a brat… a very selfish one, because we know very well what do we want, and that is you, me and her… the three of us together.”

Brianna arches a brow and shifts the weight of her body from one leg to the other. “Us? Together? That one is good,” the sarcasm in her voice hits me with such a force that I need to grab myself to some sturdy surface. “Yeah, I thought so… just leave me alone, and don’t hurt her, she’s a good person, please make sure to not break her heart as you did with mine.” With those last words, she walks around me, and leaves the place. I cry.

After a while you’ll forget everything

Just a brief interlude,

and a mid-summer night’s fling

Then you’ll see that it’s time to move on

I notice Aquaria has been off for a while, so I go to look for her, I have this sensation of something going wrong and I’m sure this has something to do with Brianna. We went too far with the kiss on the dance floor and I guess things are out of control right now. I reach the restrooms in time to see Brianna leaving, I barely see Aquaria curled over herself and I run to her.

“What happened baby? are you ok?” I ask, lifting her face to look at her eyes. My heart breaks a little when I see her crying and I feel the urge to bring Brianna back and force some common sense into her head. Aquaria looks at me, she seems lost and I just hug her tightly “I know you’re not right, I’ll end this… right now.” I kiss her forehead and then her lips, then I release her and she tries to stop me but I easily move away.

Once I’m out, I can see Brianna on the far side of the hallway, she’s smoking and I see a line of tears sliding through her cheeks. Now I’m furious. I walk to her as fast as I can, and she tries to sneak away but she can’t escape me. “Alright Bri, we’re talking right now… and no, I’m not releasing you until you promise you’re gonna listen to me.”

She nods after a couple of seconds, taking a last drag of her cigarette, and disposing the buttock on the ashtray behind her. “Well… I hear you Kameron, and it’d be better if you don’t waste my time.” Her voice, low as a threat, I sigh and look straight at her.

“I don’t know what Aquaria told you, but I can make up for my own mind”, I start, trying not to scare her. “I’ve been thinking since that night at my parent’s house… I know for sure that I like her, more than I expected…” She’s about to speak, but I raise my hand, asking her to wait for me to finish my idea. “But truth is, I love you too, and I refuse to let you go, no matter what. I was dumb enough to let you go when we had our chance and I wouldn’t forgive myself if I let you go now.”

She lit another cigarette, takes a drag and slowly exhales the smoke; then she looks back at me “Then comes the same bullshit that Aquaria said, that you want the three of us being together, isn’t it?” The tone in her voice is full of poison and sarcasm, I know for sure she’s hurt; I take the cigarette out of her hand and take a drag myself taking her by surprise. “Honestly Kam, I don’t know how it will work, as far as Aquaria is demanding and I have no patience to deal with starting an experiment that’s bound to fail.”

I give the cigarette back to her and look straight into her eyes “Brianna, I need you to listen to me carefully.” My voice is low and husky, I know she’s hurt, and I know Aquaria is hurt, and as much I’d like to go through my own pain, I need to do something, before everything between us becomes a fading memory. “We had a long conversation after you left us that night. There are two things we know for sure, the most important of those, being that we both are in love with you. The other is that we are attracted to each other,” saying this words out loud is relieving, and I’m sure it shows in my face.

“Then comes that part when we decided to give it a try with the both of us. Against all odds, it’s working but there’s still a missing part. Said missing part is you, because we’ll never be complete without you around.” Brianna looks at me in disbelief, her mouth still closed and her head falling to one side.

“So, you expect me falling head first to this idea, don’t you?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper. “If I wasn’t sure, right now I know that ain’t gonna happen” she says, the weight of her words hitting me stronger than the moment she left the room a week ago.

“You can’t be this stubborn, for real. Can’t you see you’re refusing yourself the chance to finally be at ease?” I ask, getting exasperated. “You love her, and me… and I love you, with all my heart, clearly Aquaria does too, what else do you need to understand Brianna? WE-ARE-NOT-COMPLETE-WITHOUT-YOU!”

Brianna takes a step back, looking straight at me, her mouth opens and closes a couple of times, no words falling from her. “I’m up to try, to share with the both of you. She’s up to try and give herself to us. Why is it so hard for you to understand we want to love you?” my words last for a moment in the warm air of the evening.

She closes the distance between us to lay a hand on my cheek, then she kisses me and I melt on the taste of her lips. “I… can’t promise it will work, but I can try…”, she whispers to my lips. “I love you… the both of you.”

Not long after that, we join Aquaria on the restroom, she’s fixing her makeup. Her eyes still puffy from crying. Brianna walks to her and lay a hand on her shoulder, Aquaria turns to look at her and they hug and I join them, getting high on the mix of their perfumes. We’re ok, we will be always ok.

As long as the wheels are turning

As long as the fires are burning

As long as your prayers are coming true

You’d better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love

And you know it’s true and that’s a fact.

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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you know everything i know (crameron) - chapter 3 - akita

A/N: finally finished this chapter!! sorry for taking a while to do it, had a few bad days but i should be okay now! this chapter is a more focused around kameron and i had a lot of fun with it, hope you enjoy!

Maybe she’d just pushed herself a little too hard. Kameron thought she knew her limits, and knew when she was clearly pushing them, but the ache in her arms was proving otherwise. It even hurt when she was steering the car, and left her more than a little relieved to get home. Pulling into her driveway, she moved to leave the car, hesitating briefly with her eyes on the passenger seat. Ever since their little coffee date, Brianna had been on her mind near constantly. Initially, she’d been shrugging it off as excitement from seeing an old friend, but it was now more than a week down the line, and that feeling hadn’t come anywhere close to wearing off.

As she made her way into the house, she was trying to push back some unpleasant thoughts. Of course it was excessive to worry that she might not see her again, but there had been two years of guilty silence on Kameron’s behalf. The tiny blonde often crossed her mind, but she didn’t want to bother her, and feared that Brianna wouldn’t have thought about her as much as she did. People move on, and that was normal - that was healthy. In her head, that was what Brianna would have done, and she didn’t want to drag up the past, even if it had been pleasant. It was impossible to go back to the way things had been - it was impossible to truly relive the past.

Dumping her gym bag by the door, she made her way to the kitchen, grabbing a Redbull from the fridge and slumping down on the couch. She took the phone from her pocket, and left it by her side, focusing more on downing half a can and turning on the TV. Brianna had been texting her over the last few days, and the conversations had been friendly and, if anything, very sweet. In spite of that, Kameron couldn’t bring herself to ask for a second meet up. They’d joked about her coming to one of the fitness classes, and since had joked as well about Kameron being her personal trainer, but she was scared to take that out of the context of humour. When they were out together, Brianna had more or less given a yes to going to the gym with her, but she still couldn’t ask the question, or set a date.

The sound of the news filled the air. It was something a lot of people pressed was important to watch, but Kameron had never really been that interested. She wasn’t out of the loop; she knew what was going on through twitter, and the push notifications on her phone. Though the remote was only a small reach away, she’d sunk back against the plush of the couch, and her aching muscles begged her to stay still. There was no doubt in her mind that she’d overdone it, and this was down to her decision to up the normal routine. It hadn’t been by much, just a few more reps, and slightly heavier weights, but after only a few days of that, she felt terrible. She’d not laid off today either, and that meant that she’d only feel worse in the morning.

Sometimes, she could push through the pain. It wasn’t uncommon to feel a little worse for wear after a workout; they were designed to push people to their limits. This, however, was the kind of ache that would leave her stiff and slow. Kameron would have to forgo her own routines for the next few days, and just hope whoever she was training wouldn’t need much demonstration. She would kick herself for this, if her legs weren’t so sore. When her phone went off, she was reminded of the exact reason why she’d done this to herself.

It felt embarrassing to admit to herself that she was pushing herself harder in order to impress Brianna. When she thought about it, she thought it was stupid. She was in good enough shape anyway, and while she was always working on building and maintaining muscle, she was far from a place where upping her routine would be even considered necessary. Yet she still did it, to impress a woman she’d only had two face to face conversations with in the last two years. Plus, she was encouraged into this by Brianna’s initial comment when she saw her - a stunned ‘you’re ripped’.

She considered that she’d only took it to heart so much since she was still feeling rough from a break up. It had took a big hit on her self esteem, and she was still building herself back up. Picking up her phone, she scrolled back through the conversation, realising that ignoring the texts would hardly make her want to meet up again. There was a sense of domesticity in their routine of checking in on one another. ‘How was your day?’ ‘What did you do today?’ ‘How was work?’ - it was those sorts of things they exchanged. Each day’s chat was bookended with ‘good mornings’ and ‘good nights’, and though it was so simple, it made her heart skip a beat.

B: well my day turned disastrously bad fast :( x

If there was ever a sentence to strike immediate worry into Kameron, that was it. She didn’t even know what happened yet, and her mind was immediately catastrophizing it. Did her house catch on fire? Did she break her leg? Did she accidentally poison herself? Every single one of those possibilities was unlikely, and a little extreme, but she found herself immensely over-concerned about her coming to harm. When she got herself together, she managed to text back a rather collected response.

K: what happened? X B: theres a gas leak in my house, shut things off and called the emergency people out but they cant come til tomorrow and i cant stay in my house x K: you got anywhere you can go? x B: i dont think so, my mum’s away so i cant stay at hers, might have to stay in a hotel x K: you can stay here if you want? x B: you sure? K: of course, i can come pick you up now, where are you? x B: still home, just grabbing a few things x K: see you soon bri x

Only after she wrote her name did she realise it was unnecessary, but it was better than ‘darling’, which she wrote first. Getting up from the couch, groaning as her body complained at the movement, she finished off her can and headed outside. At least she didn’t have to worry about tidying herself up before seeing Brianna - she’d showered once she was done at the gym for the day, and fixed herself up then. Her clothes were on the comfier side, but people hardly wore their Sunday best to pick a friend up from their house with a gas leak. Making her way back into the car, grumbling as she slumped down in the seat, she started on her way towards Brianna’s house.

Kameron found herself relieved that she kept her house clean. Her room was a little bit messy, but she doubted she’d be bringing Brianna in there anyway. There was a spare, comfortable quilt in the airing cupboard, and clean pillows, which she’d give her to stay on the couch with. When she moved in, she did have a spare bedroom, but it had been converted more into a storage space, and she got rid of the nasty old bed that used to be in there. There was kids room decoration on the walls in there still, and she couldn’t help but chuckle at how fitting that would have been for Brianna.

As she got closer and closer to the house, she was feeling increasingly anxious about this. Her mind had been deafeningly reminding her that she’d only seen Brianna twice in the last two years. Now, she’d be staying over, for at least one night, and when they both had work in the morning. They’d be getting up around the same time, which was somewhat comforting, as she didn’t like the idea of having to sneak around someone sleeping on the couch. But something about it felt odd, distinctly foreign from their childhood sleepovers. They’d been limited to weekends, and they usually shared a bed - something they did when they were small and never cared to grow out of. Part of her wished things could be that way again.

When she pulled up, Brianna scurried over to the car urgently, getting in the passenger side and grinning at her. “I was worried that whole time that the building would explode.” “Didn’t you say you turned the gas off?” “Yeah, but how much gas was in the house before I noticed?” She shrugged, bumping Kameron’s arm with her fingertips. Of course, the redhead just gave a playful, joking, “Owch,” but when she flinched as the contact was made, it did hurt a little from her prior overworking.

Kameron was trying her best to maintain a friendly front, though she was overwhelmingly nervous now. As she was driving them both to her house, it almost felt like she was being suffocated, and she was worrying at her lip enough that it was starting to hurt. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Brianna, who was evidently feeling a similar way, fidgeting and tapping her nails against her knee. Eventually, in the hopes of lightening the air, she made a joke. “You should’ve put a booster seat in before I got here.” Glimpsing at her out of the corner of her eye, Kameron laughed, “And I could have. Suzie’s booster seat’s in the boot. Missed an opportunity. Would you even fit in a booster seat though?” “…I don’t know but I want to find out.”

Now they had something fun on the agenda, and when they pulled into Kameron’s driveway, Brianna got out, waiting by the door while the other wandered to the boot of the car. Rustling through some bags, she pulled the seat out, slamming the door down. “Sorry, it doesn’t close right if you don’t do that,” She explained to the startled Brianna, before putting the seat in place, “Right, go ahead. You probably can, it’s for kids 4-12, I think.” And, she could fit in it. It was slightly uncomfortable, but she could fit, and as soon as she sat in it, she burst out laughing. “If only it was that easy to get Su in that seat. She hates it.” Getting out, Brianna gestured Kameron towards it, “Your turn.” “I’ll break it. At the risk of hurting your feelings, you’re probably a little more than 36 kilos. I am way more than that, and I don’t want my sister screaming at me for breaking the car seat she paid for.”

Shutting the door and locking the car, she lead a pouting Brianna into the house, kicking off her shoes by the door and asking her to do the same. The living room was completely carpeted on the floors, and she didn’t like getting dirt out of it. It was bad enough keeping on top of cigarette ash and spilled drinks, let alone mud from Brianna’s front garden. She let the blonde leave her things by the couch, and told her she’d bring down bedding soon. As soon as she said it, there was a moment of disappointment on Brianna’s face, though her voice didn’t catch up with it, responding with a chirpy thank you.

Brianna wanted to go back to the way things were, before all the distance. The biggest obstacle in letting that happen was that she, and Kameron, were evidently too scared to actually instigate anything. Changing topic, Kameron asked, “You had dinner yet?” “No, I was about to turn the oven on when I could smell the gas.” “I can make you something,” She offered, though not wanting to sound over eager, she followed, “Or we could get a take away.” “Take away, but only you don’t have to spend ages in the kitchen. I can pay for half.” “I don’t mind.” “I’m staying here for the night, take it as me paying board. And can it be pizza?” “Sure.”

Things were uneventful through dinner, and in the wait for it to arrive, mostly because despite the attempt to make pleasant conversation, they were both getting a little worked up. Being overthinkers had been something they found relatable through knowing each other, and they knew how to bring the other back down to Earth when they were getting too carried away with their thoughts. But this was harder - neither of them could voice what was on their mind, because they’d be giving the game away. Idle conversation was all they had, and Kameron was starting to feel guilty for being so ill prepared, and a little worried that she was making Brianna uncomfortable.

When it came to saying goodnight, they both almost deadlocked each other in a hug, neither quite willing to let go. There was a visible hesitation in Brianna, who then cleared her throat uncomfortably and looked away, mumbling a goodnight as she moved to sit under her blanket. Kameron, for some reason she couldn’t explain, patted her on the head when she returned the goodnight, and walked upstairs angry at herself for that weirdly patronising motion. Flopping down on her bed, heart racing, she stared up at the ceiling. She couldn’t be bothered changing out of her day clothes, her head too occupied with hypercritical thought.

Kicking off her jeans, she shoved them onto the floor beside the bed, shifting to be underneath the quilt. The blue cotton shirt she had on had admittedly been used interchangeably between night and day clothes, since it was comfortable enough to keep on while she slept. Which was ironic, because she felt far too awake to even slightly start drifting off. She tried for what felt like hours, but with a mix of aching muscles and unrelenting thoughts, she just couldn’t settle.

Then, she heard it. A soft knock at the door, and with a confused voice, she called out, “Come in?” “Sorry,” Brianna mumbled, stepping in and shutting the door behind her, “I couldn’t sleep.”

#akita #crameron #lesbian au #fluff #miz cracker #kameron michaels #rpdr fanfiction #submission #you know everything I know #s10

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