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#brightest blue fic
garbagevanfleet · 2 years
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FRAT BOY JOSH IS BACK TIME TO REREAD ABBIE AND BB 🫶😫
fuck I’m with you I was literally pulling up Brightest Blue lmfao
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solivagantingrebel · 2 months
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Made Soap a Weddell Seal in the latest fic because they're arguably the cutest (AND they're fluffy) but also because there's a crack scenario in my head that goes.
Soap: I looked like this and you came at me anyway????
Looking like this in question:
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hitsuyou-fukaketsu · 2 years
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But he doesn't realize it, he thinks he is the same as everyone. How stupid. The stars in the nightsky are beautiful because we look at them from afar.
That night I saw you crying, I fell in love.
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s0livagant · 2 years
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Hmmmm perhaps it’s time to reread one of my josh comfort fics
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chuluoyi · 7 months
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everything, but not anything
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- gojo satoru x reader
you were his last remainder of the happiest blue spring in his life, until your untimely demise. and on the death's door, he finally found you again.
genre/warnings: angsty wangsty, consolation towards the end
notes: i said i can't create gojo fics without feeling depressed, so here i present to you, angst. it's inspired from a thread in twitter i read about how gojo was given everything but he couldn't do anything and my heart just incredibly hurts and―this happened. it's unedited because the idea popped into my mind at 1 in the morning
i wrote this while listening to this wonderful song. consider it the theme song for this piece. i highly recommend you to read this and listen to it!
[update] sequel -> found you
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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You were so pretty. So really pretty, in fact. And he likes pretty things. Perhaps that was what spurred him to spontaneously ask you out.
You declined him at first―after all, he was a special grade weirdo. And you half-expected him to give up soon enough, only that he didn't. He persisted like a cockroach, smothering you with his very being. Then like a sweet romance novel, you too finally fell for him, melting at his clumsy attempts to woo you.
And by God, you were happy together. To Satoru, it was the brightest, most vibrant page in his life. And with his very being, he would do everything he could to protect you. After all, he was blessed with the best, he had all means to protect you.
He should've known better.
It started with his failed star plasma vessel mission. Riko was dead, and at that time he was just numb. Later, he made excuses. He couldn't have foreseen that a sorcerer killer would join the fray and made a mess of things.
But then his best friend, Suguru, left. Satoru couldn't make excuses any longer. For that, he was wholly responsible. From then, he realized that just being strong wasn't enough. And throughout those dark days, you were with him, consoling him as you brought his head to your chest, letting him sleep in your arms.
"Don't ever leave me, okay?" he whispered at the dead of the night with hoarse voice. It made your heart sting. You nodded and ran your fingers throughout his hair, mumbling a soft "of course."
And you never did. You were always by his side.
Satoru was really grateful for that. To have the last years of your life by his side. Looking back, it was like a beautiful mirage.
He had hidden himself behind the facade of the strongest. The unreachable. Untouchable. It felt nice, still is. Before he had known it, he had drawn this line between himself and other people. Between him and you. He wasn't lonely, but he was at the very same time.
And perhaps he had gotten way too arrogant, and thus the heavens decided to humble him.
He couldn't prevent the Shibuya Incident from happening. Worse, he fell into the enemy's hand and got sealed, and just before he was trapped inside that accursed box, he saw you die. And even after the most excruciating 19 days of his life afterwards, he couldn't do anything about it.
Your face haunted him. The tears you shed for him still lingered at the tips of his fingertips. The blood from your mouth still soaked his vision.
"Satoru..." you croaked. You were afraid. Afraid of dying, but most of all, afraid of leaving him. You had promised him once, on the bunkbed of your dorms back in Jujutsu High, that you wouldn't leave him. Tears wouldn't stop falling from your beautiful eyes.
Satoru burned that image on his mind. He wanted to hate himself with every fiber of his being, but then you said the most damnable thing possible.
"Thank you... for everything..."
And you had a smile on your face. In your last moments, you decided to convey how much he meant to you in this life. How much you cherished him. You prayed with all your heart that it would reach him.
And once again, just like the first day he saw you at the training grounds of Jujutsu High, Satoru found you to be really breathtaking. You were beautiful even as you laid dying. Even as his visions were obscured as he fell into the darkness.
Inside the prison realm where time passed long and uncertain, he made himself numb once again.
You were his most cherished figment of the most precious memory held in his heart―the three years of his youth. He wouldn't have changed anything about it. He was devastated, severely so, but so did the sweetness aftertaste he felt.
Your feelings reached him, and because of that, even if the road ahead was long and hard and painful, he would stay on that road.
If it meant he could meet you again on the other side of this dream... he'd stay and move towards tomorrow, no matter how bleak it was.
When his comrades freed him from the prison realm, he gained knowledge that most people he knew were also dead during his absence. Nanami. Yaga. The students.
Perhaps it was his curse. To be blessed with everything, but not being able to do anything about it.
He had nothing more to lose when he fought against Sukuna. He gave it his all. Everything his life had led him to―he put it all on the line.
And suddenly―suddenly, he was back to the happiest chapter of his youth. Everyone was there. Suguru was there. Nanami, Haibara, even Riko.
And you.
On the other side of that dream, you were once again standing before him, in your old uniform, just like when you’d get ready for a class so many years ago, and with the smile he fell in love with. The smile he would gladly fight the world for.
"Satoru," you called, breathless, but just like before you left him the first time, you frowned and your eyes suddenly glistened with tears. "Why... are you here? How did you―"
But you choked back your tears when he ran to you and pulled you into his arms so tightly. You heard him grunt, and then to your surprise, slightly sob.
Now he is no longer Gojo Satoru, the strongest. He is back to a young sorcerer wanting so badly to live his youth to the fullest, happiest.
"You lied to me," he reprimanded you amidst his weeping. "You left. You freaking left―"
Your vision blurred. "I'm sorry..."
Satoru let you go to have a good look at you. You were no longer bleeding. Your insides were intact. Just a little crying because you couldn't help it.
"I love you, you know that right?" he blurted with the most sullen expression he could muster. He turned back into the child-boy you somehow fell in love with.
"Satoru," you breathed out, anxious. "You shouldn't be here―"
"I should," he cut you with a firm tone. "I have no regrets. I have done what I can, and now―"
"But the others―they need you! They need you, Satoru."
He drooped his head. He had thought it over too, but he had come to a final conclusion. "No. They don't."
Maybe it was finally the time to let go of it. It was time to just... pass it over. No more interventions. No more tipping the balance of the world itself.
Immediately, you understand what he means. Gojo Satoru has served his purpose. There was nothing left that he must and could do.
"You waited long, huh?" you whispered with tears, yet a smile bloomed on your face.
"I did."
"Then... now that you're here," you offered your hand towards him, and then looked at the faces of your friends. They were all beaming at you and him, waiting for this exact moment.
You stared at him fondly, lovingly.
"Would you... walk this road with me once again?"
Satoru snapped his head. He nodded at you with pure certainty, zero hesitation. "Yes."
He took your hand, grasping it tightly in his.
"Even when there's a possibility that you have to walk to the other side of a nightmare again?”
"I would," Satoru resolutely replied.
Because it's you, he would. He'd willingly and gladly cross the throes of hell and set out on this lonely yet hopeful journey, just to meet you.
You chuckled at him heartily, and Satoru felt the immense love he held for you as the two of you walked towards tomorrow, without regrets.
It may be his curse, to have everything yet nothing at the same time. But each time he would be faced with this decision, he'd remember that feeling and let go of everything just for this very chance to live a life with you again.
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beautiful-is-boring · 7 months
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Made it out alive, just for you
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Gojo x gn!reader , angst to fluff, hurt/comfort
Au where gojo lives
Warning: y/n has a nightmare about gojo, MAJOR JJK MANGA SPOILERS FOR CH 236, so ya it involves blood and a lil bit of gore, and crying.
A/n: i love this man so so much, and whenever I get a bad dream about my loved ones dying, it mostly includes the part after their death and I'm living without them, and when I wake up it's such a relief, so this fic is based on that
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'i miss you so much toru'
the scene never left your head, the love of your life, now lifeless, laid on the ground, wounded and dying after the fight with sukuna
you cried all day, the next day and the next. You couldn't let go of him, and how could you? Satoru was the shining sun in your life. He had the brightest smile, the prettiest baby blue eyes, the strongest will and his love for you was endless. You loved him so so much.
Coming home everyday from work pained you. You would forget that he wasn't here anymore, you would buy mochi on the way home, only to come home and realize he was never coming back, the reality settling in as you cried once more.
'please come back toru, i can't do this without you'
you eat dinner alone again, hugging the adorable custom made plushie of satoru. It was a gift from him. He lovingly said that day, that the plushie would keep you company when he was not with you.
The memory of gojo cut and bloodied plagued your mind and you hugged the plushie tighter
'you are bigger than the whole sky toru, the strongest and bravest of them all. Wherever you are, I hope you rest well. Watch over me, my love'
And then your eyes opened.
You sat up on the bed quickly, looking around everywhere and breathing heavily, just trying to ground yourself into reality.
It was just a dream. A bad one, but just a dream. You're fully awake by now.
"breathe for me sweetheart"
"T-toru?"
He was right there, your beautiful satoru, gently hugging your shaking body close to him.
"whatever you saw, it wasn't real. I'm here now baby"
You nod. Your mind was a mess. You barely remember what you saw, but it left you feeling terrified.
"Hang in there, I'll get you some water"
He slowly left your shared bedroom and you watched the white tuft of hair disappear into the kitchen. Waking up after countless bad dreams and nightmares was unfortunately common for the both of you, after the fight with sukuna in shibuya.
Right. Gojo defeated sukuna. He won. And he made it out alive.
Your eyes landed upon the custom plushie across the room that gojo gifted you all those years ago
The same one from your dream.
The dam broke. A quiet whimper left your lips as memories of the dream flashed through your mind's eye and by the time satoru returned, you were curled up on your side of the bed, sniffling and weeping.
You heard him place the glass of water on the nightstand, and in the next second he's got you enveloped in his warm arms, gently rubbing your back.
"I-I saw you die toru..I had to live without you and I had to c-come home and you weren't there, a-and you were never coming back" You were sobbing and crying as you hugged him, both from the unsettling dream, and the relief that it wasn't real. You were so, so relieved to be awake, to find your one and only alive and well. Satoru continued to whisper sweet nothings and comforting words into your ears and never once did he loosen up his hold on your trembling frame.
"its okay baby, i know how you feel, and i love you so much, and I'm right here" His sweet and gentle tone combined with his comforting voice made you cry even harder. You didn't know where the tears were coming from.
"i know toru, i know you won, it's just that ever since I saw you like that..." You take a deep breath in and gaze into his beautiful blue orbs that you love. "Just one wrong move, and you would have been gone and i-i don't know what I would do without you being there with me."
Satoru's own eyes welled up with tears because he couldn't bear to see you cry. He cupped your face in his arms, a relieved sigh leaving his lips as he saw you closing your eyes and leaning into his touch.
"you are my whole world y/n" His voice wasn't louder than a whisper. Satoru wiped your tears with the pads of his fingers, and kissed your forehead. "That day, I was thinking about you the whole time. I knew I had to come back to you, and I did." A single tear drop trailed down his face and he stroked your head to comfort you. " You don't have to worry anymore, my love. It's all over, and I'm here right here, right now. " You looked at him, reassured and he could feel his heart swell as he looked at his world, his universe, right there in his hands. "Thankyou satoru" He smiled, and you did too.
Satoru leant in and kissed you ever so slowly, reminding you that he was right there with you, alive. You both smiled into the kiss, knowing that you love each other with every fiber of your being and most importantly,
You were right there with each other; physically, and in each other's hearts.
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navybrat817 · 4 months
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The man spread. 🤤
(Also the face he's making....)
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(Also, hi! ❤️)
Hi, lovely! You know I couldn't resist doing something for Titan and Starshine for you!
Photogenic
Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: You love one of the photos Roxy took of Bucky, but he isn't having it.
Word Count: Over 1.5k
Warnings: Fluff, insecurities, kissing, established relationship, college love, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?)
A/N: Another small ficlet for Titan and Starshine.❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the lovely @saradika . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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If there was one thing your roommate took seriously, it was her photography. It wasn’t just Roxy’s major, but her way of expressing herself. So when she asked for your opinion on the photos she took of Bucky and Steve, you answered as honestly and diplomatically as possible. You selected the ones you thought captured the project’s essence in the best possible way. You also reminded her that you weren’t a photographer, so your word shouldn’t hold a lot of weight.
She disagreed.
“I still don’t get why you asked for help. I don’t have a keen eye the way you do and I can barely take a photo on my phone,” you said, having to look away from one of the images of Bucky that seemed to stare right at you.
Though it was just a picture, it was like he knew you downplayed yourself and was trying to figure out why. He loved reminding you on your off days that you were one of the brightest students on campus. The compliments usually sent a wave of heat through your body, especially because he stated them unprompted and meant every word.
Roxy playfully rolled her eyes. “You know you don’t have to be a photographer to have a good eye. I not only value your opinion as my roommate, but also as Bucky’s girlfriend. You even managed to stay impartial, so give yourself a pat on the back.”
A laugh bubbled up as you nodded in agreement. While you did stare more at Bucky’s photos than Steve’s, your heart racing with each one that Roxy laid out, you choose an even amount between the two. It was only fair.
“Thank you for asking. I’m glad I could help,” you said. It meant a lot that she wanted your opinion on the finalized product,
“Me, too. And I can’t believe you didn’t tell me to throw Steve’s photos in the garbage,” she joked, carefully looking over one of the images of him hitting a punching bag. “I’m impressed.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. Besides, Steve’s just as photogenic as Bucky,” you pointed out as her eyebrows shot up. “Okay, almost as photogenic.”
Steve was admittedly one of the most gorgeous men on campus. The blonde haired, blue eyed Adonis with the kind yet almost reserved smile turned many heads. So did Bucky. Two men who looked like a couple of heartbreakers from a glance, but were far from it.
“The camera really does love them,” Roxy stated, chewing her bottom lip as she scanned the images again with a careful eye. After a moment, she smiled from ear-to-ear. “I am so getting an A.”
“Yeah, you are,” you agreed. And the fact that she had such a tough time choosing which images to share when she normally had no problem doing so showed just how many good ones she had at her disposal.
There was one shot of Bucky, however, that she had no problem removing from the film hanger and handing to you to keep for yourself.
He had his powerful thighs spread and wasn’t quite biting his lip, but there was something irresistibly sexy about the pose.
What were you thinking about, Titan?
“Not that I don’t love me some manspreading, because I do, that wasn’t exactly the look that I was going for,” she joked, snapping you out of your thoughts and making you smile so wide your cheeks ached. “What exactly did you say to get him to pose like that?”
“Me? I didn’t say anything,” you smiled, ignoring Roxy’s knowing look as you glanced through the rest of the photos once more. At least, you didn’t think you said anything.
She didn’t believe that for a second. “You act so innocent, yet weren’t you warming his cock when he-”
“Hey, weren’t there supposed to be some photos of Bucky and I together?” You casually cut her off as you pressed your thighs together, wishing your boyfriend was there at that moment.
When Bucky pulled you into his lap during the shoot, you tried to keep your hands to yourself. It didn’t stop the two of you from kissing when Roxy instructed you to. Not that you needed any additional prompting. Bucky had the most kissable lips you ever had the pleasure of feeling against your own.
Your roommate smirked a little. “Oh, I have those tucked away so I can give them to you together,” she said, nudging you toward the door when your phone went off. She must’ve spotted that “Titan” popped up on the screen. “Go. Thanks again. Make good choices. Don’t let him impregnate you, but let him give you all the orgasms you deserve. We’ll allow those.”
“You’re ridiculous in the best way,” you giggled, making sure you had your keys and the photo. While neither you nor Bucky were ready for a family, it didn’t embarrass you in the least that Roxy encouraged the physical side of your relationship with him.
“Don’t forget to show him that photo!”
“I won’t forget!” you promised, smiling as you left and read Bucky’s message.
“Waiting downstairs, Starshine.”
“Be right there,” you messaged back, a skip in your step as you went to greet him outside of your building.
You found yourself staring into the depth of Bucky’s steel eyes as he stood a few feet in front of the door. Tall, athletic, and somehow yours, he managed to stand out in his jeans and t-shirt. Or maybe he stood out to you because he was your guy.
“There she is,” he warmly smiled as you walked toward him.
Suddenly, you felt self-conscious about your casual outfit before you remembered there was no need. Bucky had seen you in the mornings without makeup and still called you beautiful. “Here I am,” you smiled.
He nodded toward your right hand. “What’s that?”
“One of the photos Roxy took. She has others to share with us later,” you answered, holding it up to show him. His eyes narrowed as he stared at it, but gave nothing else away to show if he liked it or not. “But she said I can keep this.”
He pushed a hand back through his hair before he tried to take it from your hand. “Burn it,” he ordered.
That wasn’t the reaction you expected and it made you giggle. “Burn it? I will do no such thing,” you said, moving backward as he advanced on you. “Why should I get rid of this?”
“Because it’s a terrible picture of me,” he huffed.
He’s adorable.
“Not to stroke your ego since you’re acting a little vain, but you’re extremely photogenic. I don’t think you can take a bad photo,” you told him, taking another step back. “I’m keeping this forever because it’s very alluring.”
“There are plenty of other photos you can keep,” he argued as you held the picture out of reach again. His nostrils flared and it took everything in you not to giggle again before he frowned. “Did you say I look alluring?”
Wait, does he really think he looks bad? He’s James Buchanan Barnes. A god among men.
“Bucky Barnes, my Titan, yes. You’re sexy and enticing and I never thought I’d see you worked up over a picture that isn't bad to begin with,” you teased, almost jumping when your back hit the building door. It gave him the perfect opportunity to box you in with his hands, a rush of heat going through your body as he brought his face close to yours. “Do you honestly think you look bad? Because you don’t. Not to me.”
He brought his hand over to cradle your cheek and leaned in until his forehead touched yours. “I just wanna look good for you,” he admitted in a small voice.
It was almost embarrassing how wide your eyes got, so used to his confidence that you forgot that he sometimes had off days, too. Your heart ached to see his self-assurance shake for even a moment and you wondered if it was how he felt when you spoke negatively about yourself. It put things in perspective when you thought of it like that.
“You do. You always look good. I’m more attracted to you every day. To your looks, your brain, and your heart. You’re incredible,” you assured him, in no hurry to move away from the door. “And just like you remind me of how incredible you think I am, I’ll do the same for you.”
“You think my brain is attractive?” He asked, his usual smile back on his face as you nodded. You knew that was how happy you looked when he chased any of your insecurities away. “I sounded crazy, didn’t I?”
“No, you didn't," you said, putting a hand over his. "You sounded human."
“Thank you for making me feel better,” he whispered, brushing his lips against yours as your heart pounded. “But I still think you should burn it.”
“Not a chance,” you smiled before his mouth covered yours.
Swept up in Bucky’s kiss, you both missed the fact that your TA was mere feet away, watching and wishing that it was him that you were kissing instead.
And if he has his way, you will.
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Hmm. I wonder who the TA is. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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yoongsisbae · 1 year
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Stories by Member
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JJK
Not a Creature was Stirring You wake up Christmas Eve night not to find Santa, but to find a man cold and shivering on your front porch. Clothes tattered, cuts on his body, out in the snow. You find out he’s not as helpless as he appears. Kind of cute, kind of scary, very buff Jungkook Fantasy AU. Spring Day Still with You [Sequel to Not a Creature was Stirring] You ran away from the cold, Jungkook ran with you, warming each other’s hearts. But within the cycle of life, there is death, and as spring blooms, the blood still lays soaked in the dirt. You ran and they chased. Hybrid!Jungkook.
Banana Milk It’s Jungkook’s Birthday, will he get his birthday wish?
The Fantasy You and your boyfriend try out a new form of role play, but it just keeps going wrong…
I Didn’t Mean It, I Still Love You Yoongi made a mistake, will you forgive him? Or is it too late?
Ddak-ji SLAP Jungkook, Seokjin, and you decide to play a game…and then you fu-
Campfire Burning A steamy fic inspired by a certain vlive.
Seven Days a Week Every day, Jungkook shows you his devotion, deeper than the ocean. Seven different scenarios, seven days a week. idol!jungkook x noona!reader
Go Home, You're Drunk! - 75% “Who…are…you…” “Your worst nightmare, sweetheart.” “Really? Because you look like you belong in a boyband.” whacky and dark & for all the girlies who love an unhinged yandere character
The Snap - 70% The only surviving member of BTS, it takes Jungkook five years to find happiness again. And then life snapped back. What is Jungkook going to do now?
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KTH
Christmas with a Vampire There once was a time when holidays were warm and special, Taehyung remembers. To you, even in his coldness, Taehyung is all you need for Christmas. Cyber-punk futuristic AU with a self-hating vampire Tae.
BTS Song Fic (Blue and Grey) Sad song. Sad story. Sad author. Happy reader?
V is for Villain 1 / 2 / 3 - 90% What does it mean to be a villain? What does it really mean to be a vigilante? A vanquisher of evil or a victor for the good? Stories praise the fall of devils, cheer at the marvels of the virtuous, and forget the victorious tell a version conveniently veiling their own atrocities. Evilness was once the brightest star in heaven. And goodness, well, morality can so often be contentious. This time, there is the hero with the strength of a hundred men, there is the villain that can vanish his vulnerabilities in a very instant, and then there’s you. Superclumsysuperhero!RMverse AU.
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PJM
Christmas Mass Every Sunday, like clockwork, as designed and ordained, you sit quietly. Pray. Christmas mass comes, tonight your congregation dresses beautifully, like ornaments placed in a row right in front of God. Your priest, stands at the head like an angel atop the tree, commanding and pious and hauntingly handsome. Red. You’re a good faithful girl. You were taught to be, punished to be. You pray for respite, for something more than the condemnation this cold and icy town bestows upon you. Sinners. The coldness permeates your bones, you’re always scared. Tainted. Terrified of sin, terrified by your thoughts for your priest. Sacrilegious. This Christmas prayers are answered by no God. Demon AU. Dark smut.
You Asked for Help, He Asked Your Name You ran away from your responsibilities, but they caught you and tried to lay claim to your body. If your life was never going to be yours anyways, you decided might as well give it away and make a deal. fairyprince!Jimin
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KNJ
Your Friendly Neighborhood Superhero, RM Best friends 2 Lovers. Idiots 2 Lovers. Lovers 2 Enemies? This is a different kind of superhero story ;) Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! You visit your hometown during the holidays. You and your childhood friend Joon reminisce and you learn more about your smooth tech talker business partner Yoongi. Can he win you over once and for all? Set in Super Clumsy Super Hero RM universe. Extended Scene: The Mind Reader, The Telekinetic and The Closet just silly and raunchy and ridiculous, dirty thoughts...it goes there. V is for Villain 1 / 2 / 3 - 90% What does it mean to be a villain? What does it really mean to be a vigilante? A vanquisher of evil, or a victor for the good? Stories praise the fall of devils, cheer at the marvels of the virtuous, and forget the victorious tell a version conveniently veiling their own atrocities. Evilness was once the brightest star in heaven. And goodness, well, morality can so often be contentious. This time, there is the hero with the strength of a hundred men, there is the villain that can vanish his vulnerabilities in a very instant, and then there’s you.
I Appreciate Your Apology A Christmas party has you on thin ice with your favorite dom. Daddy Joon appreciates your apology, but does he accept it? daddydom!Joon smut, PWP, filth, aka Joon edging you until you see sleighbells.
Cold Feet You don’t want to get married anymore, what does Namjoon want? 
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JHS
Day Dream The days are hotter, the nights are hotter too. You sleep, restless. Tired, you sleep more, you sleep and you dream and you meet the dream walker and things somehow become even steamier. Sandman!Hoseok Dream Analysis / Alternate Ending 
Disco Winter Ball You and your friend Hoseok are best friend buddies going on a date to the annual disco winter ball. But it’s not a date date, okay? You and Hoseok just love music and you love dancing and Hoseok loves watching you dance. Wait not love, not in that way! A friendly love. Just friends. Just two friends who drink a little too much eggnog. HOAL couple holiday special
I Thought You Were Mine? Drunk arguing leads to drunk fuc–
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MYG
The Woman with the Black Cat on Her Shoulder Fearful, they buried them, stomped them into the dirt. Underneath their boot, scared men were unaware the seeds of hope had planted by their own volition. From the dirt and grime, grew flowers, blooms so tall, eclipsing their hatred. You were strong and unwilling to be cut down any more. Shapeshiftercat!yoongi.
Yoongi is a Rock That’s it. That’s the plot. Yoongi is a rock. Audio Ver. by the talented @voice-over-ff
I Didn’t Mean It, I Still Love You Yoongi made a mistake, will you forgive him? Or is it too late? 
Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! You visit your hometown during the holidays. You and your childhood friend Joon reminisce and you learn more about your smooth tech talker business partner Yoongi. Can he win you over once and for all? Set in Super Clumsy Super Hero RM universe.
King of Corruption [Sequel to Christmas Mass] The organ player takes his time with you, holding you and caressing your body while you sleep, until you can’t discern your dreams from your reality. A king and a sleeping beauty, his name leaves your lips like a prayer, prostated at his feet in blind reverence…the perfect position for him to corrupt and defile you. Demon AU. Dark smut.
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KSJ
The Flower Bridge You couldn’t, you didn’t want to, not anymore, the pain was too much, you wanted it to end, so you visited the bridge. Standing at the highest point, the wind stung, but your problems were bigger, your pain was stronger than the whipping air and your anguish deeper than the water below. Tethered in the center, connecting the place you came from and the place you were going, you found another type of bridge and he found you. Ghost!Seokjin.
Meet Cute, Time Loop A story where Seokjin loves you before you love him before he loves you.
Ddak-ji SLAP Jungkook, Seokjin, and you decide to play a game…and then you fu-
Seokjin’s Ho Ho Ho Your boyfriend surprises you with a Christmas dinner on the beach, things get a little steamy, candy canes get sucked, peppermint liquor might be involved, there is definitely some questionable Santa Costume attire, and lots of jolly lovin’! HOAL couple holiday special.
Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! Extended Scene: The Mind Reader, The Telekinetic and The Closet just silly and raunchy and ridiculous, dirty thoughts...it goes there.
Gangnam Girlfriend: Korea’s #1 Celebrity Dating Show with your Host, International Super Star, Jin Welcome to Gangnam Girlfriend! Where Korea’s top eligible singles fight for a chance at love! You're supposed to be playing the dating game right? Not sneaking off in the middle of the night with the show’s host to watch the stars and talk about all your lost love connections, cuddling under a blanket. And even if the choice is clear, Kim Seokjin can't date you, the reason you joined is because you wanted a public relationship, and Jin could neverrr. Even though he wants to finally settle down! But Hybe wouldn't let him join as a contestant so he took the next best thing instead, our story's beloved host, yet now he's regretting his decision as he watches the girl he is starting to fall for fall for someone else, oh no! Meet the Cast / Epi1 - 85%
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OT7
SERIES
Bon Voyage: Into the Sea [Fantasy AU] A storm capsized your boat and looks like you were the only survivor. Somehow you made it to shore, but where? Stranded, you suddenly find out you are not alone, and now you’re stuck in the middle of a centuries old conflict between 7 monsters. Member Imagines /Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 / Ch4 /  Ch5 / Ch6 / Ch7 - 5% / ?
Handshakes of a Lifetime [Soulmate AU] …the meeting room is getting closer and closer, basking you and those around you in warm light, and you think about all the internet comments people write about this kind of moment, “she must have saved a country in her past life to experience this.” Playlist / Ch1 / Drabble - JJK / Ch2 / Ch3 / X-mas - JHS / Ch4 / X-mas - KSJ / Ch5 / Ch6 / Ch7 / Ch8 / Ch9 / Ch10 - 10% / ?
Caught! House of Cards [Yandere AU] You needed money. The pandemic offered little options. So you joined a website to make some quick and easy cash. Men paying to look at you, harmless fun, right? It was a decision you didn’t think too much about, you just wanted an income again. Little did you know how dangerous the members of House of Cards were. You weren’t prepared for the consequences of your actions. Watch out! Houses built with cards come tumbling down… Profiles / Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 / Ch4 / Xmas Drabble - KTH / Ch5 - 90% / ?
Run Run Run [Zombie Apocalypse AU Slow Burn] A zombie apocalypse breaks out and you’re stuck on a plane with none other than…BTS! Oh, you thought because you were an Army that would help you survive? Girl think again. Member Poll / Seoul Flow / Yangyang Living / Seoul Town Road / Hwarang Freestyle / Seoul Close / Samsung State of Mind - 5% / The Big Hit Break In! - TBA / ?
T H E T A K E O V E R [BTS Apocalypse / Dystopian AU Thriller] The recruits of Bangtan Academy were trained to be super soldiers, to be the strongest, fastest, most cunning fighters in the world. Now they are being put to the test! You were at the bottom of your class, but you noticed the cracks in the system first, what are you going to do? Run or try to save the world Prequel / Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 - 78% / ?
DRABBLES
BTS (as kisses) / BTS (as holidays) / BTS (as drinks)
BTS Cheering You Up While Studying Korean
MASTERLISTS
Naughty Girl Christmas BTS X-MAS Masterlist
Spring Fling Fantasy Stories that Bloom Masterlist
BTS Supers RM Verse Masterlist (coming soon…)
Original Masterlist
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Text
All Things Pink
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Pairing || TFATWS!Bucky x Female!Reader
Summary || Bucky being the sweetest boyfriend by bringing you flowers on your birthday.
Word Count || 1344
Contents & Warnings || Fluff — no warnings other than some tooth-rotting and disgusting fluff <3
Authors Note || I got this cute idea from an ask @daemonslittlebitch which inspired this fic!
Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!
TFATWS!Bucky Masterlist
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Good morning and happy birthday, gorgeous. I hope you slept well and dreamt the sweetest dreams. Are we still up for the date later?
That was the text message that awaited you from your boyfriend of two months when you woke up—instantly kick starting your day for the better. You smiled the brightest and rolled over in bed and laid on your stomach while your legs twirled in the air as you read his message a second time.
Your crush and love for Bucky was so fresh, so new, yet so intense. Each and every interaction, no matter via mobile or in person, had you a giddy, shy and giggling mess. Your stomach soared with butterflies, and your mind clouded with the sweetest thoughts whenever it came to him.
You hadn't even realized that you’d been stuck daydreaming for some time until you got another text from him.
Is it ok if I pick you up at 2?
Good morning, Bucky! And thank you! Yes, that sounds perfect. I'll be all ready when you arrive.
Great! I'll see you then, doll.
See you then!
It was twelve—the morning already late as you'd spent most of the early hours snoozing in and cuddling with your cat Alpine.
You got up, made yourself some breakfast, and ate, before getting ready for the day—shower, clothes, and makeup.
After the refreshing shower, you went to pick your outfit. You weren't sure where he was taking you. Only knowing that it would be casual, so that's what you dressed for. The weather outside was fairly nice. The trees lightly shifting in the wind indicated that it was only a light breeze out, and there was no chance that the few clouds in the sky would produce any rain. So you opted for a pink and pretty sweater, your favorite color, with some light blue jeans, which you would pair with white sneakers. The hair and makeup you did as you would normally.
Time slipped from you, not even realizing that it was two already until there was a knock on your apartment door. Instantly the butterflies started growing and soaring in knowing who was behind it.
You took a deep breath in and out to calm your beating heart before opening the door.
You were greeted with a massive bouquet of flowers—all pink, but with different variants and shades. The face you were longing to see hidden behind all its grandness.
“Happy birthday, gorgeous.”
His face popped up from the side—handsome as ever, making your heart skip a beat. His smile, boyish and beautiful, the kind that made the corner of his eyes crinkle, knocked your breath out.
You were completely lost in him, not even realizing that you'd been standing and staring for a whole minute with your jaw slightly ajar.
“Can I come in?” He chuckled, trying to make contact with you.
You slapped yourself mentally to get out of your trance before moving aside for him, “y-yes, sorry, come in,” and closed the door.
He was so close to you now, making your knees tremble. His presence powerful, but not in a harsh way. It was gentle and caring, making you feel so ecstatic and protected. His aroma overwhelmed all your senses as you inhaled him. The fragrance that was quintessential Bucky imprinted itself in your brain.
You almost lost it when he delicately cupped your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin before he leaned in, softly kissing the other. His lips lingered there for a moment, making you feel their fullness and warmth. The sensation spread throughout your body—down your spine and through all of your nerves, making the surface of your skin tingle.
When he pulled away, you had managed to snap out from your state—still on cloud nine but present in the now. You tilted your head slightly and gave him an appreciative and sweet smile. His piercing blue eyes gazed into yours, and you could get lost in them for eternity due to how captivating they were.
You don't know how long you and he stood like this—studying and appreciating each other, but Bucky was the first one to break the pleasant silence.
“You look so pretty,” he murmured as he moved his fingers to hold your jaw lightly.
You felt a rush of heat flush to your face, your ears becoming extremely hot at his compliment. “Thank you, Bucky,” you replied shyly.
He looked down at himself before his eyes did a quick swipe of you a second time, bottom to top. “Hey, we're matching today,” he smiled.
You hadn't even realized what he was wearing. To focused on his beautiful face to notice his soft pink hoodie—the color identical to yours.
“Oh, I-I guess we are.” You looked down at yourself and then back to him. “Um, I hope that doesn't bother you?”
“Of course, it doesn't, gorgeous,” he chuckled as he pinched your chin,” the color looks so lovely on you.”
You glanced down at your feet for the first time, avoiding his passionate gaze, feeling shy and giddy at his many endearing compliments.
Bucky chuckled one last time at the intense effect he had on you, finding you completely adorable and precious at the way you reacted to his presence and touches.
“These flowers are for you.”
You had almost forgotten about the huge bouquet he held in his other hand as you'd been so focused on Bucky only.
“Thank you.” You took them from him and inhaled the sweet aroma of the flowers. They smelled lovely, but they could never compare to how he smelled. The colors on them ranged from the softest to the harshest of pink. They were stunning and would fit perfectly in your apartment.
“I'll put them in a vase. You can come on in.”
He nodded and followed you into the kitchen. As you rummaged through your cupboards for a vase, Bucky leaned against the bar counter, arms crossed. You could feel his stare bore into your back, making you nervous and almost drop the vase, resulting in a low chuckle from him.
Luckily, Alpine walked into the room to see who had been so rude to enter her queendom, meowing loudly, and Bucky's attention shifted from you to her.
This wasn't the first time Bucky had met Alpine, but since he was so new in your life, Alpine hadn't quite adjusted to the stranger yet, still very shy and careful around him.
“Hello there,” Bucky cooed as he situated himself on his haunches, making himself small and less intimidating to the timid cat, extending his hand out for her to inspect.
Alpine stopped when she noticed him and eyed him carefully. She looked up at you, meowing again, looking for reassurance and encouragement from you that it was safe.
“It's ok, baby. You know, Bucky. Bucky's kind,” you cooed.
She looked back at him and meowed once more before slowly walking over. She carefully sniffed his hand, taking her time before getting closer to him, and then, finally, rubbed herself against his knees—affirming that he was now part of the family.
“Awe, pretty girl,” he cheered as he pet her soft white fur. Alpine sat between his legs so she could thoroughly enjoy the gentle caresses and pats, purring loudly. “Yeah, we're friends now.” Bucky seemed so happy to finally be accepted, as were you—two of the most important souls in your life getting along.
“I wish I could stay and pet you all day long, Alpine, but I'm taking your mommy out on a date. Is that ok?”
She meowed—a sound of acceptance.
He smiled bright as he gave her one last ruffled pet. “I'll see you soon, pretty girl.”
Bucky stood up and came to your side, extending his hand out to you. “Shall we?”
You looked down at his hand and slid yours into it, interlocking your fingers. Both of you smiled at the contact and the electric current surging between one another. You and he fit to perfection—a perfect pair of lock and key.
“Yes, I'm ready.”
PART 2
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Thank you for reading 🖤 Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated! Or let me know through an anonymous ask if that feels more comfortable. As well as a reblog to share my work with other people!
Follow @bucky-barnes-diaries-library and turn on notifications to never miss out on my writing!
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whorediaries-09 · 4 months
Note
Hey!! Could you do one where Sirius and reader were dating during hogwarts but they broke up after harry was born but they were already his godparents. After James and Lily die, Sirius doesn’t go to Azkaban so they have to reunite to take care and raise Harry.
hi love, thank you for sending in the request. it's a great idea, and could have been longer than what i have written to be honest, but i was running short on time. i still hope you like it <3
maroon;
pairing- sirius black x reader warning(s)- hurt/comfort, drinking, alludes to sexual assault. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- i wanted to write a fic using this song for so long. anon i love you cause i have the perfect opportunity to do that now 👯‍♂️
the slut club
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and I wake with your memory over me that's a real fucking legacy to leave,
you're sure you can still hear his ringing distinctive laughter through the photograph. the photograph you hold has faded away its brightest hue, along with the smile of james potter and his heartbeat. you cradle his almost doppelgänger on your knee if it wasn't for his bright emerald eyes. he sucks on his thumb, while brandishing a twig in thin air. (after you had successfully convinced him it was a wand)
'honey, look, it's your papa,' you say, flashing his father's picture on his eyeline. you wonder if he recalls his features as his grubby fingers grab at the photograph. you wonder if you'd had to introduce his father to him if he weren't dead.
the doorknob clicks. the footsteps knocking on the floor are similar but it still sends a wave of coldness through your veins. your jaw tightens.
'i'm so sorry i'm late,' he says running his fingers through his hair. he picks up harry, and places a chaste kiss on his chubby cheek. you get up from the sofa.
'it's okay sirius, he's my godson too,' you say, loosening your tightened jaw. you crack your knuckles.
'buddy where'd you get this...twig?' you hear sirius ask harry. he flashes him a half toothed grin, shoving the twig in his ear.
'hey, hey no,' sirius scrunches his face in pain. you suppress a smile, throwing your coat over your shoulders.
'i convinced him it's a wand. he saw me using it to turn down the blinds and yeah, you know he's just like his father, stubborn,'
'you seen moony?' you ask. remus was the only person you could confide in at that moment. somethings seemed to be overwhelming. swallowing it up would seem like a great idea, but it wasn't. not in the long run. the run hadn't even started and you felt like your joints were rusted, lungs exhausted and heart beating too slowly. perhaps it was the after effects of a lorn tragedy. your breathing palpitated with the way sirius' gray eyes ran over your body.
'he's sulking as usual,' he replied, his mood suddenly in the halt of a shift.
'home?' you ask, your feet jittery.
'hm,'
you're not sure whether it's a tone of disapproval or jealousy. the latter seems dimensionally impossible, so you disapparate, to lupin's house.
*******
your eyes are torn of sleep, the half moon shining stark against the dark sky. the stillness of the night enveloped you, an uncomfortable warmth surrounding you. the night seemed stuffy, a prison of your thoughts. it was as if a weight of restlessness settled upon your bones, your mind and body battling to fall into a slumber. the darkness thundered a dance of troubled thoughts, which instead of providing solace was a battle against the dreams that awaited you on the other spectrum of sleep.
it's thud against your door. is it the wind? you search for your wand, and slowly whisper,
'lumos,'
the tip of your light enlightens into a beautiful solemn blue. you curl your toes, walking down the hallway. your voice is sore, dry and cracked when you speak, pressing your ear against the wood of the door.
'wh-who is it?'
'it's me, sirius.'
your hand wraps itself around the doorknob as your turn it, around, unlocking the door. it's not the first time he showed up at your house in the middle of the night. last time, when he came in he was drunk and red-eyed, searching for a bestowed comfort. while it wouldn't have mattered if it was someone else, it felt so wrong back then. he'd hugged you tight, your ribs almost breaking from the pressure. it made you reminisce of the days when he'd hug you, whispering i love you's in your ear. it made you reminisce of the days when he'd tickle you and you'd laugh till your ribs hurt. you remembered how he'd reeked of alcohol and tobacco, so unlike yet like him.
he stands there before you, his nose dripping blood, tears staining his cheeks. you stare at him hollow-eyed, your heart bleeding with an urge to hold him. but it seems like you're stuck, as if your blood is frozen, your senses too numb. he stammers, walking towards you. he smells like a flowery scent infused with the stench of beer. his words are broken when he speaks into your hair, his arms dropping on your body.
your lips are dry as your arms close around his shaking body.
'who did this to you?' you whisper. you feel his heartbeat beating against yours. his slows it's pace and yours picks up the pace as he lets the cruel words out of his mouth, offering you a broken story.
'this-this girl, she groped me when i was dancing with her. i thought it was by mistake a-at first, but-'
he breaks down, his sobs shattering every shard of your broken heart.
'it's fine, we'll get you a warm bath,' you whisper, slowly running your fingers down his spine. it's as if by instinct, or maybe old habit, you kiss his shoulder.
'i-i miss you.' he says.
'i'm right here,'
'no, i miss us.'
'sirius?'
he looks at you with an utmost expression of genuine love and it scares you. his gray eyes almost absorb your soul. it's as if your heart beats maniacally against your ribcage, while he captivates you. he feels like the perfect muse for your poems. he feels like the last bite of your cornetto. he feels like home.
he feels like he's yours.
you're scared. maybe the incarnations were roses after all.
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aflame4goinghome · 5 months
Text
Kay’s Fic Recs !!!
all of these fics are 18+ and contain smut! read at your own discretion ;)
Josh:
Confession by @thewritingbeforesunrise
The Art of Life by @gvfgal
Brightest Blue by @garbagevanfleet
I See Hell in Your Eyes by @joshsindigostreak
Uncharted Territory by @ficthots
Little Fantasy by @jake-kiszkas-smirk
No Hands by @joshym
Valtava by @gretavanlace
Jake:
Covet by @jakeyt
Imperfect Moments by @abeautylives
Le Morte d’Arthur by @joshym
Cream & Sugar by @sacredthefran
Sémillante by @profitofthedune
Last Call by @milkgemini
The Red Medallion by @earthlysorrows
Capital Vices by @builtbybrokenbells
Pedagogue by @profitofthedune
Dear Patience by @ageofbajabule
Tending by @zm-gvf
Mirror of the Damned by @alwaysonthemend
The Professor by @jakekiszkasmommy
Crimson Lace by @meetingthestarcatchers
Sammy:
Pink Lemonade by @garbagevanfleet
It’s Called Being Nice by @gretavanfleetposts
Locked Out by @sparrowofthedawnsworld
A Need That Goes Unspoken by @neverwanttofallasleep
How I’m Imagining You by @geminisecrets
Seven by @garbagevanfleet
Danny:
Stretch You Out by @gvfgal
Black Swan by @holybananafuck
Struck by @gretavangroupie
Little Bird by @gretavanlace
Red by @vanfleeter
Stroke Me by @hyperfixated-gvf
Twins:
Poppins by @gretavanlace
Kismet by @gretavangroupie & @sacredstarcatcher
What Is And What Should Never Be by @sinsofstardust
Down The Hall by @milkgemini
Skin Deep by @streamingcolors-gvf
Forbidden Twins
Vigilance by @gretavangroupie & @gretavanmoon
A Beautiful Riff by @sparrowofthedawnsworld
Janny:
Valor by @gretavangroupie & @gretavanmoon
Greta Van Fleet
Fire in the Water by @gretavanfleetposts
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garbagevanfleet · 2 years
Note
I’ve been offline for a minute but I came back and saw you made an epilogue for Brightest Blue 🥹 I’m super late but that was so cute and perfect!! One of my favourite fics <3
I’m so happy you liked it! It felt like the trajectory that their relationship was on 💕
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luviestarz · 7 months
Text
choi beomgyu fic recs!
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✿ a night to remember — choi beomgyu - @jeontaeil-archived (beomgyu takes you out on a lovely date to his old workplace and after hours of having fun, neither of you are quite satisfied. too impatient to wait till you get back home, or to his car in the least, you don’t think twice before getting down and dirty right then and there. at the end of the day, how many people can proudly admit that they’ve fucked in a trampoline park?)
✿ airport crush | choi beomgyu NSFW - @boba-beom (while waiting 4 hours for your next flight, you see a cute guy at the airport and decide to kill some time.)
✿ a star called you | c.bg - @scintillasofbeomgyu (yn and their friends run the campus radio for which yn is the host of the evening show “dear sputnik”, where they share stories and hope to create a healing space for all students— even though many don’t listen to it. little does yn know, their biggest fan, angel313, is choi beomgyu— the boy they’ve silently had a crush on for the past four years.)
✿ nap of a star - @blue-jisungs (you’re taking a nap on your friend’s lap)
✿ sk8ter boi -> c.b - @gyusrose (you never thought in a million years to be attracted to a boy like beomgyu. His baggy clothes, scrappy shoes, long hair just wasn’t a click with your elegant dresses, tight skirts, ballet dancer- self , but somehow he managed to steal your attention.)
✿  stoner!bestfriend!beomgyu x fem!reader - @universecorp (as much as beomgyu tries to deny falling in love with you, even after he claimed you saved him from believing his whole purpose of life was to be bad luck, his heart cannot tell a lie.)
✿ honeymoon - @beomsight (thoughts about how you and bf!beomgyu are in that honeymoon phase where you’re constantly all over each other)
✿ who’s home? - @iknowyuu (reader's guardians unexpectedly come home in the middle of a cuddle session.)
✿ sweet. - @tyunlatte (beomgyu is whipped for the reader, that's it. that's the plot. just something short and sweet to make your hearts ache.)
✿ who’s that girl! - @h00nerz (after coming home from vacation to discover your boyfriend of over a year cheating on you, you find yourself to be in search of a new place to live. lucky for you, your friend’s cousin is moving across the state, leaving a room open that’s yours for the taking. the only problem? it means you would be staying with three guys.)
✿ a lost bet! - @heart2beom (you lose a bet to beomgyu and out of everything you'd think he'd ask of you -- money, to pour freezing water on yourself out in the snow, hell, you thought it'd be more likely for him to ask you to jump off a cliff and survive than telling you to take him out on a date.)
✿ strawberry kisses - @tyunlatte (when you accepted your boyfriend's sweet request to do his makeup, you weren't expecting the fiery turn that your little makeup session was going to take)
✿ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 - @sungbeam (gamer/streamer!choi beomgyu x f!reader)
✿ call you later - @heart2beom (beomgyu swears women fall at his feet and he's in fact, single by choice—what better way to prove this to you than collecting the numbers of random people on the street?)
✿ forever only you. - @mazeinthemoon (when an old friend draws your attention away from your boyfriend, he can’t help but get jealous)
✿ [🐯] i got you - @qqtxt (the best parts of beomgyu's morning always involve you)
✿ white dress - @fairyyeo (i recommend reading this!!!! pls go read its so good)
✿ photobooth. - @ev3rm0re-q (even though you and beomgyu have been together for three months, you two have yet to share a kiss. on his day off, the two of you venture outside and come across a photo booth. perhaps a few pictures might finally motivate the both of you to take action.)
✿ tokyo - choi beomgyu - @beomie3 (the neon-lit towers which surround you are mighty bright. but in his eyes, you shine brightest. the adventures of two lovers in tokyo. ~coming of age film~ vibes.)
✿ strawberry chapstick | choi beomgyu - @lluringli
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siriusleee · 7 months
Text
shot through with gold
“I smashed the whole house to bits,” Johnny keeps going, turning to put the milk in the refrigerator. “Had to get Simon over here to help me put it back together. It was his idea by the way. To get the mug fixed. He said you’d be mad if it was gone when you came home.”
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tags: coming back home, implied torture, capture, smut, riding, reader is afab, mentions of medical procedures, mentions of blood word count: 7.7k author's note: This was a commission by the best and brightest @gazs-blue-hat. If you'd like to commission a fic, visit my ko-fi for more information. Also, I refuse to disgrace the good country of Scotland by attempting to do the full Scottish accent. Readers call sign is Sparrow, but it's only used once.
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The room is heavy with dust; small puffs cloud around Johnny’s boots as he pads across the plush carpet. The summer’s oppressive heat makes the walls sweat - you’d be worrying about the mold forming in the drywall if you could see it. But Johnny doesn’t think of the way his handprints smudge on the paint you spent weeks agonizing over or the way your perfume lingers in the still air even after all this time. 
His singular mission - to grab a few shirts he needs and leave - is the only thought he allows himself to think about, hands combing through the dressers and eyes trained downward, away from all the pictures hanging on the wall. He avoids your side of the dresser, avoids the lace that still peaks out from your top drawer. 
His phone buzzes in his pocket, Johnny ignores it as he pulls the shirts he came to look for out of the dresser drawer, tucking them beneath his arm. He follows his tracks in the dust back out, eyes cast down at the carpet. The whole trip takes less than 10 minutes; he doesn’t let himself look up until he’s slamming the passenger door of Simon’s truck shut behind him. 
“Got everything?” Simon asks, shifting the truck into drive. 
Johnny sits ramrod straight in the seat, eyes avoiding Simon’s as he buckles in. 
“Yeah, got everything.”
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Your fingers trace over the marks you’d carved into the soft stone wall. You’d tried to keep a tally mark of days, but time slipped by in odd increments within your cell. Some days you’d watch the sunrise from the cracks in the ceiling and after just a blink, the inky blackness of night would be seeping in. Sometimes the sun hung in the sky for months before finally falling to the full moon. No matter how hard you tried to decode the pattern,  the moment you had it everything would reset. 
The guards were in on it; they had to be. They’d bring your meals at odd times - sometimes you’d still be full from the moldy slop they shoved in between the cell bars, spilling it out onto the floor like you’re an animal in a cage, and sometimes you’d be so hungry that you could barely crawl to eat. 
It was supposed to be someone else - you were pulled for guard duty after another soldier slogged off and broke his foot doing something stupid while training. You’d finally been pulled to work with Johnny, three days away from being a full transfer to the 141 when your C.O. had appeared at the door of your bunk, new orders in hand.
A simple guard duty: get the guy to where he was supposed to be going, hand him off, and fly home. Your transfer could wait an extra forty-eight hours. But your plane was shot down somewhere over the middle of nowhere - you had told your C.O. that flying that low was a risk, but the desert was empty and the plane was old. They’d been making the flight for weeks, ferrying men back and forth with no hiccups. Your flight should have been no different. 
It should have been someone else. 
You couldn’t remember what had hit your small passenger plane: but the ground was David, and you were Goliath. You’d hit the ground beside the pilot’s head, his mouth formed in a soundless scream, and after a quick flash of black, had woken up to a bucket of water being poured across your face.
Whatever language your captives screamed at you, you didn’t know it. And if they knew any of the ones you screamed back at them: Spanish, Arabic, German, they didn’t let you in on it. You couldn’t figure out what they wanted until they’d ripped the Union Flag from the breast of your vest, a quick picture on a Polaroid camera snapped above you before you realized what they wanted.
Blood dribbled down your chin when you laughed at them: the government didn’t even pay for soldiers who got captured at war. What would they pay for your half-broken body to get shipped back in a wooden box? A simple mistake that could be written off as a plane malfunction. 
The anger had come first, feet and fists slamming into the men when they appeared at the cell doors. Nails ripped from their beds when you tried to claw at the seams in the walls.  It had cost you a few teeth and a pound of flesh. And then, when you were tired of the endless beatings and anger that went nowhere, you begged them to kill you, to do something to end the torment. By the marks on the wall, it took months before you first asked to be killed, and only weeks later for that to end, each request met with silence and a sneer. Now you lay in the corner, waiting for the few moments when they’d let you out to see the sun glinting off of the mountain ranges, the clouds threatening to storm in the distance.
Those quick trips seemed to come with less frequency as time slipped by.
You trace the tattoo on your thigh; they’d cut through it once after you kicked one of them in the chest, his ribs caving beneath your feet, but even beneath the dried viscera and matted dirt that covered your skin, you could still see Johnny’s name there.
You wonder if he’s picked a gravestone for you yet.
The two of you had talked about it, once. It was the nature of your jobs - to be prepared for everything that could come your way. Your wills were done: 75% to Johnny, 15% to your sister’s kids, and the rest to a local charity. Johnny wrote in that you were to get 100% of everything he owned, and you had chided him about it. 
“What about your mom? Your sisters?” You had asked across the steam from your cup of coffee. Johnny had shrugged, dropping the black pen onto the table with finality.
“Already taken care of, birdie.”
After that had come the talk of headstones and burial plots. Of missing bodies and cremation. You had told Johnny that whatever he thought you’d like, to pick out. You weren’t picky about it.
You wonder if the military let him put his last name on the stone.
A decidedly male voice shouts from around the corner, and you pull back into the stone wall. Seconds later, fetid food falls through the bars. The man shouts at you, pointing at the food on the ground. Lazily, you turn your head towards him, watching the way he sneers at you through the bars.
They must be getting angry then. No ransom came through after all these months. 
You bare your teeth at him.
You’d rip his throat out if you had the strength to do so anymore.
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Johnny’s fingers don’t shake like they used to when he buckles the strap of his helmet, the night vision goggles weighing him down. He’s tired - exhausted. The entire convey smells of cigarettes and sweat. Heavy men in heavy gear press around him; across from him Gaz’s eyes shine terribly bright in the darkness. They press in on Johnny, forcing him back into his seat heavily. 
Price’s voice is loud in his comms, intermingling with the sounds of the Marines and the whir of the mechanics beneath his feet. Johnny can’t make out the details over the sound of the truck rumbling beneath him.
“Steady Soap?”
Gaz knows - Johnny doesn’t know how Gaz can do this kind of job with the way he fucking oozes empathy. Or sympathy. Johnny could never remember which one was which, he always had to ask you which one to use.  Gaz had been the only one who’d asked him if he was alright; Simon had lingered at the edges of rooms Johnny was in to keep an eye on him, and Price tried to give him an extended leave. Johnny had refused. 
But Gaz had been waiting until Johnny was sitting outside of some bar a group of Seals had taken them to - a celebration for a job well done months after you were gone, after Johnny's failed attempt to find you. 
“You good?” Gaz had asked, fingers twirling a cigarette he would never light.
“O’course.”
It had made Johnny feel like shit to lie to Gaz, and the same feeling washes over him as Gaz’s eyes linger on Johnny.
The warm summer air washes over them; sweat is starting to coat his lower back, his fatigues keeping him too warm. The smell of the desert, of warmed sand keeps him grounded, reminds him of where he is - what he’s doing here. 
In the glint of the moonlight, the mountaintops shine at him.
The first few missions had been difficult: he’d fought like hell to try to search for you, fuck the regulations. He’d resign if it meant finding you. The rest of the fucking government didn’t care: no one on the plane was as important as anyone else, not to the officials anyway. Johnny had done just that, his resignation had landed heavily on Price’s desk, only to land in the trashcan a moment later.
Gaz volunteered to follow Johnny, but Price had cut that off quickly. It was to be Johnny and Simon only. They had five days, a week at most before they had to be back home.
The farthest they got was the plane wreckage, a little burnt-out village miles away, and sheep that stared at them from the sides of the mountains. But he couldn’t find a trace of you or a singular person who even recognized the photo of you he kept tucked inside his gear. Even after Simon had disobeyed Price’s orders to return home now after weeks had passed. They didn’t find anything.
Johnny knew that’s why Price had volunteered the 141 for this mission - a small-time terrorist cell hiding out in a country they didn’t belong to, a small promise of the bodies of missing soldiers hidden somewhere.
It was something.
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The guards are panicking; the dirt walls shake around you. You can’t guess what it could be: American pilots doing a blind bombing, Russians pretending to send help only to rain down hell on the perceived innocent. Maybe God’s here to level the land and flood it. Try again. Do something different this time.
He could start with your cell, you think, scraping at the dirt on your leg. Underneath the sun-starved skin is paler than it should be. If you ever leave, you think, the first thing you’re going to do is eat a fucking steak in the sunshine. The bones that refused to set correctly ache beneath your bruised flesh.
The sound of gunfire pierces the inescapable silence. Your captors yell, screams punctuating between the bursts of firepower. Good, maybe they’ll tear each other apart and leave you here to die in peace. 
Maybe it was a poker game gone extremely wrong. Someone asked to strip when they should have been ponying up the cash.
Smoke pops in the hallway outside, you don’t run from the white creeping in on you, just pull the rags that were your shirt over your mouth to try and keep breathing. It overtakes your cell; you watch as the smoke creeps through the cracks in the ceiling.
The sounds of war flood the small cell - the taste of blood and gunpowder in the air around you. You can taste the iron when you breathe in. It coats your tongue. You run your teeth across the chipped and broken enamel, mixing the taste of other’s blood with your own.
Someone shouts so close this time you can almost make out the words - American accent thick and heavy in your ears - and it stirs something inside of you. You try to navigate the cell through the smoke, rolling painfully off of the pallets your captors had so kindly turned into a bed for you. Crawling across the excreta and mud you try to make a sound, but you haven’t spoken in months.
Your throat is raw, and the sounds that come from you are barely human. You’ll be surprised the men even hear you, let alone notice you there on the ground. You try to pull yourself up at the bars, but the fracture in your ankle that healed up wrong weeks ago keeps you on your knees.
“Hey-” you finally croak out loud enough for one of the men to cast his eyes down at you. “Please.”
He’s so familiar, the softness in his eyes tugging at something familiar inside of you, the sharpness of his shoulders calling to you. You pull yourself up, leaning heavily on the bars and the one ankle that doesn’t scream at you, hands slipping through the bars to try to reach towards him.
His gun drops, swinging loosely on its strap as he steps towards you. His fatigues are filthy, and his nose wrinkles beneath the cloth mask covering his face. You know you smell terrible, and you want to apologize for it, but you can’t make the words come. He looks so tired as he steps towards you, hands reaching out to grip the bars between the two of you. 
“Sparrow?”
“Johnny?”
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It takes days for you to make it home: IVs from field medics who barely know what they’re doing, anti-viral meds, shots, stitches. They don’t even let you take a real shower until you’ve landed at a base you barely recognize. It’s a painful process, a female nurse wiping at you gently, but still peeling away layers of skin with each pass of the washcloth, your sobs muffled by the shower. 
Johnny waits for you on the fringes of all the people that press around you, poking you, prodding you painfully until finally, you find yourself slammed into a British hospital bed.
Johnny comes in the moment they let him, hands held behind his back in a mock parade rest. You barely recognize him, his mohawk almost completely grown out and bags under his eyes. You know you don’t look much better; you’d caught sight of yourself in a mirror before they’d forced you into bed. Ruined was the only word to describe what you saw. Too thin, too broken. Too torn apart to be stitched back together. At least not without all the types of therapy a military doctor listed out to you: hydro, occupational, physical, mental.
Neither of you know what to say, so you start with the last thing the doctor told you. 
“They’re going to rebreak my ankle tomorrow,” your voice is still thin, full of isolation. You’d tested it out on everyone who’d been in to work on you, but it didn’t sound right at all. Johnny shuffles nervously where he stands, and then rushes forward to sit in the chair beside your bed. He’s moving wrong, you think, like a wind-up doll. Too slow and then all at once, too fast.
“Why?”
“I healed up wrong.”
Johnny’s hands play with the edge of the blanket that dangles off of the bed, eyes trained on the fabric. He’s not going to look at you. At the ruin you’ve become. You press yourself down harder into the thin mattress, hands tucked beneath your thighs to keep them still.
“Is it going to hurt?” 
You can’t help but smile at his question, your toes twitching beneath the blanket that feels so out of place across you. How many months had they had you? A year? No one had told you yet.
“They said I’d be fucked up on medicine. But probably, yeah."
Johnny’s hands aren’t still against the blanket, instead reaching out towards you. The movement startles you, and you jerk to the opposite side, nearly pulling your IVs out. Johnny pulls his hands back, crossing them across his chest.
“When you -” his voice breaks, just a moment before he put it back together, eyes finally meeting yours, “when you come home I’ll bring the bedroom downstairs so that you don’t have to walk far.”
You have the nagging suspicion that he changed what he was going to say at the last moment. 
"Are you going to sleep on the couch with me?" You try to tease, but your voice falls flat, unpracticed. But it still makes Johnny smile, sharp incisors digging into his chapped lips. 
"I'll sleep wherever you tell me."
The two of you are surrounded by the sounds of the hospital: the beeps of the heart rate monitors, the sounds of the nurses' quiet conversation outside of your room. You trace your hands across the blanket, grasping Johnny’s whenever your fingers collide with each other. 
For a moment, neither of you move, just languish in the feeling of each other’s skin; you’re too busy tracing Johnny’s palm to notice him pushing himself closer to you until he kisses you, softly but with a tight undercurrent of desperation, his hand tightening almost painfully on yours.
The feeling of someone touching you so gently after weeks of rage and anger nearly stops your heart. The monitor goes crazy; Johnny pulls back, just the hint of a smile on his lips.
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It takes four weeks for Johnny to get the go ahead to bring you home. Each day you were in the hospital he would come for a quick chat before work,  bringing you breakfast he picked up. Every day after, he would collapse in the chair beside your bed, smelling of sweat and gunpowder. 
The smell made you recoil when he tried to kiss you, and he didn't try again after that, even after you tried to stutter out a why. But the day the doctor tells Johnny that you can go home, you awaken to Johnny outside of the hospital room, arms crossed as he speaks to the head doctor - Johnny looks more serious than you’ve ever seen him off the battlefield. 
Everyone rotates around you as if you’re not there, packing the room up, pulling your IVs out, fingers prodding and poking you until a nurse aide wheels a wheelchair into the room for you.
”Ready?” She asks, locking the brakes. She looks at you from across the room, and you know what she wants. Starting the day after they rebroke your bones, they made you get up and start walking, and you push yourself off of the bed, walkable cast heavy against the tile floor. 
Johnny’s in the room in a second, catching sight of you whenever he sees you stumbling over your cast across the room. The aide lets him push her out of the way, his hands gripping the wheelchair as you lower yourself down.
“I can walk out, you know.” You grumble at Johnny as he tosses a heavy folder into your lap.
“Hospital procedure, birdie.”
Simon’s truck is waiting for the two of you in the parking lot, Simon in the driver's seat. He throws a glance at you as Johnny helps you clamber into the backseat, crowded around by grocery bags. 
“Hello, Luv.”
“Hello, Simon. Thank you for the ride.”
Simon opens his mouth to speak, black hospital mask sliding up, but he’s cut off by Johnny clambering into the passenger seat. 
You watch Johnny from the backseat, foot propped up beside you. His hair has grown out too long, the Mohawk nearly disappeared and his beard has started to grow in. In all the years you’ve known him, you’ve never seen him anything other than clean-shaven; even in the field, he'll butcher himself with a knife before he lets it grow in.
He’s thinner than he should be, too. You wonder if he’d been eating like he was supposed to.
The drive home is disorientating, Simon taking turns too sharply, too quick for your still queasy stomach. By the time Johnny helps you climb down from the truck, dropping your hands quickly when both of your feet are on the ground. 
The house is clean, too clean for Johnny to have been here alone. Like he can sense you'd skepticism, Johnny speaks from ahead of you.
“I’ve hired a cleaner,” Johnny says, holding the door open for you. “So don’t worry about anything.”
It’s odd to be back home; you trace your fingers across the knick-knacks you’d collected throughout the years, the furniture you’ve spent years picking out. You have memories of sitting here with Johnny, memories of Simon and Gaz laughing from the kitchen. But now all you feel is lost, a bottle floating in a foreign ocean.
You wander into the kitchen, fingers trailing against the wall - there are no dirty dishes in the sink, no food in the cabinets; Johnny wasn’t living here. 
The only dish you recognize is sitting on the counter, you pick it up, feeling the unfamiliar weight in your hand. 
“It’s called Kintsugi.”
The Japanese word rolls heavily off of Johnny’s tongue, your fingers pause tracing the golden lines that cut through the mug. It was your favorite, a gift from when you and Johnny had first met. The two of you met at a diner, out with mutual friends. You’d thought it was cute, the name of the diner printed across the front in vintage lettering. Johnny had swiped it for you, hiding it beneath his jacket until the two of you parted ways at your doorstep.
“What happened to it?”
“I broke it,” he admits, dropping the grocery bags onto the counter. Your fingernail can’t find any snag in the glaze, any sign that the mug has never had the golden lines cutting through it.
Johnny busies himself with unloading the bag, speaking without looking at you as he confesses.
“After you were taken, I spent weeks searching for you until Price forced me to come home. I was angry, and I smashed it.”
You can feel the frown sketched onto your face; you don’t look at Johnny as you set the mug down on the counter. 
“I smashed the whole house to bits,” Johnny keeps going, turning to put the milk in the refrigerator. “Had to get Simon over here to help me put it back together. It was his idea by the way. To get the mug fixed. He said you’d be mad if it was gone when you came home.”
You lean against the counter and watch Johnny busy himself with the groceries. 
“He was right,” you admit, feeling silly over the sadness that fills you over the broken cup, “but maybe that’s something Simon has a lot of experience with broken things ya’know.”
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You and Johnny orbit each other for weeks: he’s there every day until you begin to question if he’s gotten himself fired to stay home with you. He drives you everywhere, and if he can’t, Simon waits for you just out past the front gate, no doubt on Johnny’s orders. 
“I had a lot of time off,” he says one day, elbow-deep in the laundry that he dumped between the two of you, eyes cast on the television. “Never had a reason to take it before.”
Your hands smooth the wrinkles out of one of Johnny’s shirts, fingers picking at the loose string. Today had been talk therapy, recommended by the SAS doctors. They were strict about all the requirements you had to meet if you ever wanted to go back, and laying on a shrink’s couch for two hours a week was one of them.
The graying doctor had asked you if you had spoken to Johnny about the anger that still wells up in you, the dreams you have of tearing your captives to pieces with your hands, the internal self-flagellation you went through every night when you thought about the career you’d worked so hard for, and have now lost. 
You had spent the rest of the day thinking about what he said, even when it meant not paying attention to the medical doctor’s order when they were cutting your cast off, but Johnny took in every word.
You almost say something then, tossing Johnny’s shirt onto his pile, but the wrong words come out.
“You need a haircut.”
“Yeah?” Johnny’s hands still around a pair of your shorts, you feel him watching you in his peripheral vision. “You want to cut it?”
Of course, you did; you spend more moments than not thinking about how his hair must feel like long if it’s still soft. But every time the two of you tried to touch each other, the other pulled away. 
So when Johnny takes your hand, and pulls you up the stairs, you let him - hand heavy and warm in your own.
Johnny lowers himself onto the closed toilet seat; you feel unsteady as you approach him, clippers in hand, and you’re not sure if it’s from the closeness or the weight of your cast being removed. 
“Are you sure you trust me to do this?” You ask again; since you’d come home your fingers had been a kind of clumsy they’d never been before. 
“What’s the worst that can happen?” Johnny keeps his eyes trained on you, fingers tapping against the tight denim stretched across his jeans.
“I can scalp you bald,” you admit, switching the clippers on, “and then you’d look like a Q-Ball for eight weeks.”
“I’ll be the best damn Q-Ball anyone’s ever seen,” Johnny says, beard twitching as he smirks at you. If he notices the way your fingers tremble when you take his jaw in your hand, he doesn’t say anything. 
His eyes close at the feeling of the clippers cutting through his hair, no doubt the feeling of the weight being removed was comfortable for him.
“You didn’t do this while I was - while I was gone?”
Your therapist says you shouldn’t shy away from calling your kidnapping what it was, but you still can’t form the words in front of Johnny.
He hums at your words, never opening his eyes as he speaks.
“I don’t let anyone else touch my hair, birdie.”
“What about your beard?”
Johnny snorts, eyes meeting yours as you maneuver his head to the side. 
“You don’t like it?”
You like the way he feels against your skin, you want to tell him. But you can’t make the words form, can’t spit them out. Johnny watches you chew on them for a moment before he lets out a sigh. His hair is scattered on the floor around the two of you, more than you’d thought he’d had. 
You swap the guards to shorten his mohawk, pressing yourself in between Johnny’s knees so that you can reach the nape of his neck.
His hands wrap around your thighs, light and warm against the skin that peeks out beneath the shorts you hadn’t taken off since you’d left your cast removal this morning. 
Your skin is on fire at his touch, you try to ignore it as you clean up his neck; Johnny buries his face in your shirt, breath warm against your stomach. His fingers trace light patterns on your thigh and it takes every ounce of willpower to keep the clippers from straying.
His fingers trace the scar that covers his name, and you jump back like you’ve been shocked. Your back hits the wall, knocking the decorative towels you’d spent days choosing to the floor. Johnny’s hands linger in the air between the two of you as you try to catch your breath.
“Sorry,” you pant out with a heavy swallow. 
Johnny pushes himself up, eyes watching you like you’re a wild animal ready to run. 
He reaches out and brushes some of his fallen hair from your shoulders, electrifying your skin again. His touch is hesitant as he traces up your shoulder, fingers cupping the back of your neck.
He’s fire as he presses himself against you, lips brushing over yours just quick enough to light something up inside of you before pulling away with an apology. He loosens the clippers from your hands and shoos you out with a promise he’ll clean the hair up himself.
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A storm rages outside, threatening to cut the power at any moment. You watch it throw around tree limbs and leaves through the front window. Behind you, the television casts soft shadows on the walls.
“Still pouring out there?” Johnny asks from his spot on the couch. Your answer is the curtain falling back into place. You pad back to your spot beside Johnny; he holds the blanket up for you to slip underneath.
His bare leg rubs against yours, but his hands stay firmly in his lap. He hadn’t tried to touch you since that day in the bathroom - even when he dropped you off at therapy, you’d wait for him to stretch across and kiss you, but he’d just send you off with a wave. 
You knew it was partially your fault: you couldn’t get the words out to explain how much you wanted him to touch you, how sorry you were for every jerk away. Every time you tried to tell him how much you wanted him, the words curled into your throat and refused to budge. You had even asked earlier for him to take a shower with you, to no avail. 
The movie - some family flick Johnny picked because it didn’t have any violence, you know - cast shadows across Johnny’s face. His stubble is starting to come in again; you reach out and trace your finger across the five o’clock shadow creeping onto his jawline.
Johnny doesn’t take his eyes away from the television screen, but he leans his face into your touch. Your fingers trace upwards, lacing through the Mohawk you’d trimmed just two weeks ago. Johnny nearly purrs when you tug on his hair, pulling him down so that he’s lying across your lap.
You have to take it slow, you know or you and Johnny both might break apart. So you just settle beneath him, fingers tracing patterns onto his scalp, eyes trained on the television, but not really watching. 
“I don’t think I’m going to go back,” you whisper, voice nearly drowned out by the storm outside. Johnny rolls, doing his best not to dig painfully into your thigh to look up at you.
“To work?”
You nod, still refusing to look at him. 
“I talked about it with the therapist today; I just - I think it would be best if I just cashed in my retirement. I’ve got a lot saved up: hazard pay and all that. The corporal offered me a job as a trainer. So I could still be around."
Johnny’s hand reaches up to grab your wrist, forcing you to look at him. You can’t read the expression on his face, and you don’t like that. He’s always your open book. You try to keep your heart rate steady at the feeling of him tracing patterns on your wrist. 
“I’m sorry, birdie.”
And you know he’s not just apologizing for your ruined career, for the nearly year you’d spent locked away in some disgusting cell, for the still broken teeth in your mouth, or the screws that hold most of you together now. He’s still apologizing for not being able to find you earlier, to be there months earlier. 
“It’s not your fault Johnny - I should have told them no. I should have been smart enough to just tell my commanding that I couldn’t do it. I should have-“
Hot tears start to fall; Johnny pushes himself up, fingers brushing them away gently. When you don’t shy away from his touch, he pulls you into his lap, tucking your head beneath his chin, and pulling you so tight you think you might break beneath his touch. And you would let yourself shatter beneath him, if it meant he could put you back together, shot through with gold. 
Johnny lets you cry on his shoulder until the fabric of his shirt is soaking wet; after a while, the smell of him, the softness of the way he caresses your back,and the feeling of his jean-clad thigh between your own stirs something else inside of you. You need something else, something more desperate, something to push away the feelings of failure. Of the fear that still lingers in you of heights, and darkness, and men who smell of sweat and gunpowder. 
So when you kiss him, softly, Johnny doesn’t push you away like he can feel how much you need him to touch you. Even as he lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, you don’t break the kiss. It stays superficial, and soft, neither of you breaking apart or deepening it. You expect him to carry you to the spare bed he brought downstairs for you, but instead, he cradles you up the stairs, hands gripping your thighs so tight you know there will be a thumb-shaped bruise there tomorrow. 
Johnny doesn’t stumble as he carries you. 
In the bedroom the two of you shared before you were lost, Johnny collapses on the bed, his smell enveloping you, hands never leaving you. He buries his nose in the soft skin of your neck, breathing in the smell of you. 
“Are you here with me birdie?”
Johnny’s voice is muffled on your skin, his hands pausing at the hem of your shirt. 
“I’m here Johnny.”
You rest your hands on his biceps and feel the way his heart is in your own chest. His weight presses down around you, the mattress sinking down beneath the two of you. The wind rolls in through the window, gooseflesh erupting on your skin where Johnny isn’t touching.
Johnny’s hands don’t move from the hem of your shirt until you slide your own down to his wrists, a bravery you hadn’t felt in weeks taking over you.
“Please, Johnny.”
Johnny shifts, knees spreading your own apart, but he still doesn’t touch your bare skin until you tug on his wrists, trying to slide them underneath your shirt, instead, he traces your arms - the area you know he thinks is safe. 
The feeling of his calloused hands on your soft skin makes you shiver; Johnny presses a kiss to your pulse point. You know he can feel the way your heartbeat picks up quickly, and he bites down on the sensitive skin lightly. You can’t help the gasp that escapes you, the way you buck your hips upward into his. 
“Birdie.” It’s a warning and a promise rolled into one, and it makes you press your knees together, trying to slow yourself down. 
You let your own hands start exploring Johnny. Once, you’d had his skin memorized - every scar and freckle committed to your own memory. But there are new scars there you’ve never seen before, new wrinkles at the corner of his eyes he didn’t have before. 
It’s like the first time again, both of you exploring each other slowly. Johnny pauses every time you make a noise, eyes searching your face to make sure you’re alright. You push him away just long enough to pull his shirt off of him, hands instantly reaching out to pull him back down. His own hands slide your shorts down until you can kick them across the room.
Johnny kisses you, full of the same desperation he’d had that day at the hospital. Your teeth click together as the two of you suddenly move frantically, hands grasping at each other. Johnny shakes as you run your nails down his back, pushing until he realizes what you want.
Johnny rolls, hands still wrapped around your waist until you’re on top of him. The thin material of your panties is already wet; you can feel it when you grind down on him. The rough material of his blue jeans has enough friction to send lighting bolts through you.
“Is that what you want birdie?” Johnny’s voice is low and rough in his throat; his hands rest lightly on your hips as you grind down. Your hands reach back to rest on his thighs, more leverage for you to move. 
You can’t answer him, already biting down on the moans that start to build in the back of your throat. Johnny’s grip tights as you speed up; you can feel his erection pressing tightly against his zipper as you grind faster. 
You feel yourself start to tremble, hands moving to brace yourself against Johnny’s chest. He wraps one hand around your wrist, the other still at your waist; you can’t look away from the hungry glint in his eye. 
Outside the storm lashes, the cool air rolling in across you and Johnny. 
“Let it out,” he whispers, voice ragged and panting. He’s bucking his own hips in time with your grinding; he’s holding back - you know he doesn’t want to scare you, so you loosen the knot inside of you, moaning loud enough that a blush starts to creep up your chest. At the sound, Johnny bucks up harder. 
You can’t help the way you come undone, nails digging into Johnny’s chest, leaving half moons on the sensitive skin. Johnny lets you ride him until the waves of your orgasm finish rolling over you, his hands not leaving you until you finally still, thighs shaking on each side of him. You can feel your drenched underwear, feel yourself soaking into his blue jeans. 
Johnny is so hard beneath you, a red flush across his chest. Outside the storm rages harder, and the lights flicker momentarily. Johnny pushes himself up onto one elbow, the hand that has refused to move up your shirt sliding up just an inch. His fingers play with the edge of your underwear, the lace snagging on his callouses.
“Why don’t you want to touch me?” You can barely hear yourself over the rain lashing against the window; Johnny’s eyebrows knit together, and he pushes himself up until he’s sitting up, your legs wrapping around his waist to keep from falling backward. 
“I want to touch you,” he tries to reassure you, hands tracing patterns across the back of your shirt. But you shrug his hands off, catching his wrists in your hands before he can fully withdraw away.
“You won’t touch me beneath my shirt,” you slide his hands down to the bare skin of your thighs, moving them until the hem of your shirt falls over his fingertips. “You wouldn’t take a shower with me.”
Johnny chews on his lips, they’re too chapped, you think. The silence stretches in the sound of the storm, and the flickering lights. Before Johnny can speak lightning and thunder crash outside, and the house goes dark - the sound of the electricity powering down cutting him off. Neither of you moves in the sudden blackness. 
“I’m not broken, Johnny.” You don’t want to sound so pathetic, but you do. 
“I know you’re not, hen.”
“Then why am I having to beg, Johnny?”
Johnny’s hand slips up so that he’s holding your hips beneath your shirt. 
“I’m not going to hurt you too.”
It’s a tough confession for him to make, you know. He’d done his best not to talk about the whole ordeal, he never asked what you went through. This was his way of keeping you away from it.
You roll your hips across his again, and his breath catches in his throat. 
“Please Johnny; you’re not going to hurt me.”
You don’t know if it’s the whine in your voice or the way you trace your fingers across the hard plane of his chest, or if Johnny is just as tired of holding back as you - but he rolls you over, gentle and quick until his chest his pressed against yours, his mouth finding the sensitive skin at the base of your neck. 
You’re horribly out of practice, fumbling with the buttons on his jeans, getting stuck when Johnny pulls your shirt over your head, but he doesn’t let his lips leave you; your teeth clip together as Johnny deepens the kiss he refuses to let end until your gasping for breath beneath him.
It’s electric in the best and worst ways - Johnny’s calloused fingers tracing patterns on your stomach, kneading the soft flesh of your breasts, fingers teasing the edge of your underwear, pushing them further down each time.
The current running through you makes it difficult to breathe; you can’t even warn Johnny, can’t beg him to slow down what you were just begging him to speed up. But there has never been anyone who’s known you the same way Johnny has, and when his hands slow you know he can feel that it’s too much. Just for a moment.
“Still with me?”
“Still here.”
Johnny’s hands don’t speed up, but he doesn’t slow either - pressing open-mouth kisses down your neck, between your breasts, across the planes of your stomach until he finally stops at the edge of your underwear. He darts his tongue out to lick the sensitive skin peeking out above the hem, and the feeling makes you gasp out, hips pressing harder into the mattress. His fingertips brush just over the wetness you’ve soaked through and you grind your teeth together, painfully. 
“Too much?”
Yes.
Too much for you at this moment; you’re not sure if your body will hold together if Johnny even tries to eat you out, tries to stretch you with his fingers, you can hardly keep together at the feeling of him touching you anywhere after so many months of nothing but dirt, and maggots, and feverish longing for-
You didn’t notice Johnny crawling back up your body until he presses a soft kiss on your temple, fingers wiping away your hair that’s plastered with sweat there. 
Johnny’s whispering in your ear: how much he missed you, how he had thought about you every day, how he’d tried to scorch the earth to look for you; he pulls you until you’re back on top of him. You can feel how hard he is, how wet you are as you grind down against the hard planes of his lower stomach, searching for him.
Johnny’s hands squeeze at your hips, shifting the both of you until you feel the tip of him catch against you; a shudder rolls through you both, but Johnny doesn’t move. Every muscle in his body is pulled taunt, pulled against fucking into you at a frenetic pace. You recognize the set of his jaw, the way his hands wrap around your forearms. He’s letting you set the pace, letting you control him.
You wait for just a heartbeat before pressing down onto him; your vision whites out from the almost uncomfortable stretch of him as you sink down slowly. You can’t remember the last time the two of you were here, the last time the two of you fucked. Johnny’s nails dig into the underside of your forearm, yours into his chest until you finally reach the hilt.
You hold there for a moment, feeling the way he fills you up - so much so that you don’t think there’s room for anything else besides Johnny - there never has been.  You can’t even think between the feeling of Johnny filling you up and the feeling of not trying to cum so fast. Finally, when your heartbeat slows incrementally, you rock yourself against him, slowly, using his chest as leverage.
Beneath you Johnny is coming undone; he’s biting his lip so hard you think he might draw blood, so you trace your fingertips across his bottom lip. His lips part beneath your touch, and he takes your pointer finger into his mouth, tongue swirling around it.
The feeling makes your hips move faster, stuttering against him. Johnny moans, muffled around your finger. The sound is horribly erotic in the darkness, and it spurs something inside of you to move your hips faster, rougher against Johnny. But he doesn’t move beneath you, still holding himself back. The sound of skin on skin, of how wet you are for him drown out the storm.
Johnny’s hands are everywhere: in your hair, cupping the supple flesh of your ass, pinching and rolling your nipples between his thick fingers; one hand sneaks across the flesh of your hip, dipping between the two of you to circle your clit. The feeling makes you crumple against him; Johnny takes the opportunity to roll you over, pressing you into the mattress.
Johnny presses one of your knees up, hooking it over his elbow so that he can fuck into you, still gentle even when he’s deeper than you think he’s ever been before, his other hand still circling your clit, slowly enough to keep you from falling apart, but fast enough to bring you to the edge. 
His pace grows rougher; you claw at him, drawing red welts across his skin, but Johnny doesn’t slow down. You keep your eyes closed tightly, back arched to try and get him in deeper, to get more.
“Look at me.”
Johnny’s voice is rough, a gentle command you have to follow. His eyes never leave yours, even when his pace increases, the finger on your clit still rubbing tight circles until-
Until you’re breaking apart, shattering beneath him. Your orgasm makes you arch, back nearly leaving the mattress. Johnny’s hands move to cup your face, pulling himself down until he can kiss you as you ride through your orgasm, gasping in his own mouth. Your nails draw thick red welts across his back, but Johnny doesn’t stop pounding into you, your moans drowned out by the way he kisses you.
Not long after, Johnny’s pace starts to stutter, his lips never leaving yours until he plunges in deeper than he had before, and you can feel his warm release spill out inside of you. 
Even when he’s completely spent, Johnny doesn’t pull out of you, instead fucking into you once, twice, three more times until you know you can’t take anymore, hands pressing on his chest to push him away.
Johnny’s fingers smooth your twitching thighs as he pulls away. In the darkness, you can just see his outline as he shifts between your legs, but he doesn’t move from there.
He caresses you until you are finally still and your panting finally slows. His fingers trace across the cracks you can still feel, stitching you back together, shot through with gold.
“Still here?”
“Still here.”
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hwajin · 6 months
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★༉‧₊˚✧ — 𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖗
𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 005. — 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 | 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭
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𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: smut, angst
𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: ghost!jisung x fem!reader
𝖜𝖈: 1.8k
𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘: you loved him. desired for him. desired his touch, his closure, his body next to your own — yet he was different, wasn't as much a body as a hue; and his touch meant death.
𝖈𝖜: this fic explores dark themes such as DEATH, THE WISH OF DYING AND CHARACTER DEATH!!!! don't proceed reading if sensitive to said themes. smut warnings: mutual masturabtion
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It was torturous. The air in the stuffed room far too cold, dark, blinds half open to let in only a shimmer of the moon, full and white against deepest blue. It was a night starless, mostly, all of them caught within him; he was shining, blueish hues surrounding his figure – you couldn’t much call it a body – his eyes translucent, laid upon you, barely blinking. Stars would never be the same to you. Stars would always equal death after meeting Jisung.
His lids were hooded, heavy with arousal – you hadn’t known such feelings, bodily sensations bore possibility for someone his kind; ghosts, untouchable by humans though without the ability to pass objects. You wished it was the other way around. You wished Jisung could walk through walls and sink into floors and was unable to hold pencils or books or phones – instead he could eat and sit in chairs and lay in beds, though not touch you. He couldn’t put a hand on your shoulder, couldn’t possibly wrap his arms around your figure – in fact, he had jolted back, scared and face painted in utter fear, when you had approached his body, cold and dead, and had urged him to try. Maybe you were different, maybe his curse would make an exception for you. Though, he’d explained; it was dangerous to even be close to you. That he broke a million rules for even finding himself in the same room as you, let alone at a distance of less than five meters. Though trying to touch you, trying to prove his death right and your desire wrong – it would near kill you. If his hand – blue, cold, glistening veins in brightest blue – would pass through your body, graze your heart and caress your organs, touch your insides, your blood would stop pumping, your heart would stop beating, your lungs would suffer the inability to take breath. You’d freeze to death before your halted heart could cause you damage, your body would experience enough harm at once to never repair – Jisung would, undeniably and simply, kill you.
The coldness Jisung radiated had decreased when he’d sat on the chair by your desk, far enough from the bed where you’d been positioned. His coldness alone wasn’t strong enough to bring you to death – it surely wasn’t comfortable for you, a coldness sharp and stinging you didn’t know another feeling like it, a bodily instinct, making you understand he was something to flee from, not something to be around – not someone to desire. And yet you did, against all rules of nature, against all sense of coherence – and he did too, body ironically burning while he’d watched you, while his eyes had wandered you up and down as your hands had undone the buttons of your shirt, had slid off top and shorts in swift motion, had gotten rid of underwear entirely. He wasn’t supposed to grow erect from the sight; you weren’t supposed to get wet at your actions – unnatural if anything, impossibly otherworldly.
You were sighing his name, legs apart, a frantic hand in between them, fingers eliciting sloppy sounds which filled the entirety of the room. You were sweating, a cold sweat which dripped down your neck, collected in the hollow of your knee, drowned your body in shivers and wet. Jisung watched, attentively, following your every move – your fingers against your clit, disappearing inside of you occasionally only to circle back at your sensitivity; your legs closing in pleasure until you remembered you had a spectator, until you continued putting on a show for him, spreading thighs apart, giving him nothing to imagine, granting him to see your every inch; your head lulling into your neck, glistening, dripping – he wanted to kiss it off you, wanted to lay lips on your skin, on every bead of sweat forming on your electrified body. He urged to be closer to you, his hand palming his erection not half enough, not close to the satisfaction he knew you would grant him. Never before has he longed for a mere human the way he did for you – after all, it wasn’t in his nature, not only dangerous but impossible; the inability to be with you, to touch you, love you the way he wanted it, the way he knew you needed was by far a bigger curse than wandering the earth in loneliness, for the entirety of time.
“Jisung… need to touch you…”
Your words barely a whisper, your body trembling, your legs fighting the urge to clamp down around your hand – and Jisung slapped himself internally at the thoughts wandering his mind at watching the sight of you, at finally wrapping a hand around his erection properly, granting him a fraction of the pleasure he desired; if only you were like him, not alive and yet wandering the earth – infinity wouldn’t feel so lonely, entirety would maybe be enjoyable, with you by his side. He wished you dead in his selfishness, and he knew that continue seeing you after tonight would be irresponsible on his side, surely, if he wished for your death; he’d have to flee, leave you behind if only for your own safety. Yet he didn’t stop in his tracks. Told himself that tonight must be finished, that he couldn’t cause you any more damage than he’s done already. That granting himself a last orgasm in your presence, watching you finish in spasms around your own hand a very last time wouldn’t harm any more than fleeing right the moment – so he kept his hand moving, up and down and around his tip, whimpers leaving his throat in calls of your name. Maybe he was a sucker for pain, for torture, for the sheer impossible – or maybe he didn’t want to let go of you after all, couldn’t in missing self-control.
The fingers against your slit were frantic now, your eyes only half-open and laying on Jisung, taking in the sight before you – his own hand tugged and pulled at his erection, veins along his dick blue and shimmering, like the rest of his body. He didn’t dare to convert his eyes, fighting urges to throw back his neck in bliss, watching you instead, holding eye contact that spoke more than a million of your words ever could. An unsaid pact, a promise written simply in a gaze – you wished for death yourself, if it meant being with him. Didn’t care much for your life if Jisung couldn’t be in it, if as much as a touch was forbidden, deadly. Jisung’s hand along his shaft quickened, collecting precum rolling off his tip and spreading it along his base, hips bucking up from your chair, making it creak under his weight. His breath hitched, stuck in his throat – you were part of the reason, your free hand now toying with your breasts, groping and pulling at your nipple, hips rolling into your hand, heels dug into the softness of the mattress. Siren eyes on him without a break, pulling him into your trance, making him wish for things dangerous for either of you – and none of you could care. Not when release was right around the corner, bubbling and brewing in the pits of your stomachs, hips chasing touch, further friction; hips chasing bodies, another person’s hand, another person's closure.
“Touch me.”
Jisung’s eyes fixated yours at your words, stuttering though not halting in his movements. Hand stroking along his dick, growing harder and wetter, inching closer to finish, closer to the end of him and you. He wouldn’t see you again, couldn’t possibly, not if he was right-minded – yet maybe he was twisted, damaged entirely; because your command set off satisfaction in him, pleasure which he jolted at, thrusting frantic hip into his hand, desperately. You wanted him, badly so, just as much as it was the case the other way around. He kept watching you fingering yourself, proposing a death wish while in a state of utter bliss – maybe you were as twisted as he was, maybe you didn’t quite understand what you’d suggested; though Jisung deemed that to be unlikely.
“I’ll kill you if- if I do.”
Voice caught in his throat, spurting out in stutter. He was unbearably close, dick twitching in his hold, hard and slick against his hand – he needed your touch as well, urged for it in moment of helplessness, on the verge of release, teetering and daring to fall off the edge. Your eyes locked onto his, holding his gaze, fingers quickening on your clit – a whimper soul-wrenching left you, ripping through the room. Your pussy was glistening, growing wetter the more you thought about your own offer, the harder you saw Jisung think about it; you were insane, ready for death if it meant trading it for love.
“Touch me, Ji. I don’t want to live if it’s a life without you.”
He came in spurts of blueish white, strings upon strings of his release coating his hand, making a mess of his clothes. His eyes shut and his neck against the head of the chair, hips still spasming, riding out high, muscles calming. You were crazy, insane. Your offer was; and yet he stood up at your command after his body regained strength, after he looked at you for a moment which spoke agreement and held promise. He moved closer to you, slow steps, cautious, not to scare you. You didn’t stop touching yourself, fingers moving against your clit in fast motions, letting yourself grow colder with every inch he came nearer, towards your body. He stood before you eventually, body right before your own, and you shivered. Tension building up within you and stinging cold spreading through veins and cells, creating a gooses’ flesh on your own. Your nipples hardened, your body trembled – you would die tonight.
He kneeled down to your eye level – the confidence in your words scared him, set him back to reality; you were ready to die if for him, and he would gladly let you. Was too selfish to argue against it, to deny that it, too, was his most desired wish; so he leaned in, closer, far too risqué. Coldness must have paralyzed you by now, must have made you unable to feel body and limbs. He leaned in and you reached out your hand, towards his own. Palms only an inch from each other, not touching but hovering in the air, until he passed through it, through the skin and muscles and bones of your arm and your head threw back, if in pleasure or pain Jisung was unsure. And he came closer yet, if possible – lips hovering above your own, right hand just above your pumping heart; and you arched into him, took him off the decision, made him graze your heart, colden your insides. Made him take you with him, a blessing in disguise, wandering the world together side by side, tonight and forever.
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emmedoesntdomath · 10 months
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it has occurred to me that this was supposed to be a parkner blog. so here’s some parkner thoughts. 
fun fact- harley’s a little gay boy from tennessee who grew up hearing that the devil came for kids like him who wanted to kiss the wrong person. so when harley moves to new york, he’s not immediately waving a pride flag. instead, he has a beat up leather jacket, an old car, and a smirk that could cut glass. peter is sold and practically swooning because hello, gorgeous. but he’s also like,,, harley’s from tennessee. what if he’s like, homophobic??? and not an ✨ally✨??? and then harley full on outs himself to an asshole who harasses peter on the street with an ‘I’m gay, dickface’ and just. punches him hard enough to break his nose. (peter is THIS close to proposing okay)
harley forgets everything. out of sight, out of mind. keys? gone. phone? poof. jacket? who? and peter’s memory is kind of shit, too, honestly, but karen’s memory is fucking golden (perks of being a computer) and she’ll remind peter to remind harley to grab his stuff. harley still doesn’t know peter has karen do it, so he just thinks his boyfriend’s awesome. peter’s not gonna correct him. 
peter doesn’t wear nail polish that often, but when harley casually (definitely not feeling casual internally, but that’s fine) mentioned that he was considering sometimes wearing it, peter went ALL OUT. like, he added color, he added glitter, he made his nails the biggest and brightest part of his being. harley called him an idiot, but he would always grin when he saw them, so peter considered it a win. 
harley likes country music. but only the country music from 70s-90s. the rest is absolute slander to him. 
(yes, I wrote a whole ass fic about that, and no, I’m not sorry.)
peter can’t draw for shit. he just can’t. harley swears by stick figures. (watch the insidious part two promo with ty. you’ll get what I mean.)
peter does unironically call himself biderman. harley calls him homophobic. 
harley’s defining emotion is offense and/or what he calls his ‘bitch, fucking excuse you?’ emotion, and he’s very proud of this fact. 
peter’s favorite color changes pretty consistently, but he’s really attached to his blue and red, especially when they’re together. 
harley’s is dark red (darker than peter’s), and gold. he will deny to his denying breath that it’s tony’s colors, because ‘why would I care about the old man? fuck off’
they aren’t allowed to have a dog, because new york (peter is so sad about this, okay), so harley just brought home a pet lizard one day. no warning. no call. peter asked zero questions and named her mrs. cheeto. 
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