#brilliant as always Plauge!!

[somecrazybitch]

It's funny that the following is 100% true & happened in the 2020s.

When in university, I persued institutionalisation. I was unwell due to undiagnosed Adhd & Autism, as well as suffering from a slew of mental health issues & a confusing list of diagnoses that in theory ought to be paired with through treatment. I was in a sorry state & unable to properly care for myself let alone fulfill my duties as a student. I was characterised by an undulating tidal wave of high periods and low periods. In the high periods I headed social events, got involved in school positions, got employed in two separate organisations. In the low I would vanish apart from class, not eat, & cry as I ironed my shirts for the morning after getting home past 1 from the cursed promises "high mood me" had signed up for.

I was unable to secure the help I was looking for from the healthcare system. I find it odd humoures to think about retrospectively, knowing what I know now. The reason I was not provided help, is because if the stark, sharp, & ultimately artificial line drawn within the healthcare system between the physical & the mental.

Neurodivergany is often put in the category of physical illnesses within the NHS despite it having to do with the brain, so when someone is "institutionalised" due to high support needs from autism for example (if someone was incapable of feeding, or clothing themselves, or of paying their bills and calling for home repairs when needed without help) they might get a carer (& a social worker) perhaps they might be sent to a care home for ppl with complex needs.

When a person is suffering from mental illness, they look for harm to the self or others in a far more direct way normally, before they send you to the mad house.

Instead, I got my degree, year & chapters passed. (Getting stuck in central Europe with a lover due to a global plauge & disruption of the political union that allowed us to travel in the first place. Fleeing to the north of the country after graduation, being temporarily without a home & being taken in by an old woman who had lived in this new city for decades and ran multiple houses. She had my partner do work in the houses until we found a gas leak & when she refused to close the house down, we fled again in the night. We quickly managed to go back to renting and stayed in the city for the next 3 years.)

One of my dearest friends passed away days after I spoke to him. The funeral was to be family only, despite him having told me of his deep discontent in the family days before his death. I fell & festered miles & miles away, unable to say goodbye as he was put in to the ground. Once again I felt the damned knock of a bottomless low calling to me, & in madness I surrendered.

He had once been my lover, but had always remained my friend. I could not speak words to do justice to him, so I painted, I continued as my partner packed for our new home. I found myself in an empty room with a canvas & paint on the night we made our way across the city to our current dwellings. A car horn snapped me back & away we went.

After a year of unbearable solitude & insanity at the new house (which I cocooned myself within) I snapped. I called my love, my partner, & let him know I no longer wanted to live. He had been visiting someone far away and arranged to take a train back to meet me. After much ugliness & tragedy, we had a brilliant idea.

We would abandon all that ailled us on this godforsaken island, and fly away to Paris.

So we made our way to the airport, whilst furiously booking things, and found ourselves in Paris that same night.

I spent a month & and a half in Paris. We were truly blessed to have found one of the best most wonderful places in the world to be.

The house was ran by a marvelous matriarch. She was everything one should hope to become. Kind, open, honest, calm, happy. Her home had a large garden that she shared with tutles, two digs & 4 cats, as well as budgies that came and went freely. A small pond nestled under a willow, & benches at the back of the garden provided a delightful view of the wrought-iron chairs that hid below a canopy near the house. A stone round table provided a regularly used place for cheese plater, red wine, and cigarettes.

Occasionally, her breathtaking daughter would sit and smoke green with me .(I must admit I'm a bit in love with her, I think she was in her early 30s, she modelled for some time, studied, rebelled, and lived happily.)

Paris was a dream in every sense. When it came time to graciously relinquish my rooms back to my host, I moved even closer to the center. A frighteningly high up apartment in a vibrant neighbourhood. The hallway would send shivers down the spine of anyone, but the grimes of Berlin ravers, at the top of it was my sanctuary. A lovely flat with a handsome young parisian man who was the roomate of my host. The kitchen window let one see the skies of paris, as did the one in my bedroom, from which I watched the rooftop garden parties, the cats walking amongst the chimneys, and below the old man who owned the taloirs play with his grandson. I still can't believe it but I dined with an amazing girl from Brazil who was studying law. She inspired me so much and truly made me feel alive again. Her freind was a sweet and funny ballerina, I cherished their acquaintance whilst I was there.

Eventually I moved on from Paris, it is truly the best city in the world that I have ever known, sorry new york.

Now I sit, many chapters later. A warm faux fire by my feet, a green smoke in my smoke holder (fashioned to resemble a wand by my love) resting on a diamond shaped glass ashtray, with lana del rey playing as I read The Odessey. Back in my cold, wet, British city. A storm rages outside, they call her Isha. The problems that made me leave are all still real, my feud with the bigot next door was never resolved, my love is sick, and we haven't found a cure, a million other worries await my attention.

But I smile and feel calm. Now I have my castle of ice and snow in Sweden. I can't believe I'm going to be a homeowner this year, a deed in my name, 6 bedrooms, a beautiful kitchen, and most importantly; safety and privacy. In April I will go back and ses my first Swedish spring, and have the keys to my new home.

I feel now more than I have in years that everything may be possible again. I'm excited.

I feel at the back of my mind that we will have another war soon, and safety may be compromised, but I have so many plans, and the story must go on.

#me #true story

[kait4073]

THE UNEXPECTED LOVER

START-OF-TERM

Prolouge: 

       "But Mum can we please have a Bed time story please? "  2 children asked, as the other  child stared longingly. "It's Already past your Bed time Loves, Maybe Tomorrow." I say before someone  spoke up from behind me "Well, maybe one story won't hurt? Right loves?"I turn to meet my Husband  and smile knowingly, and  motion for all the children to cuddle close onto the bed with her. As her husband walked into the room he started talking again only this time to his children " I have the perfect idea for a story, How about the year your mum and I met? huh?" the children smiled and nodded. He sat on the end of the bed with me pulling me in for a chat kiss.  "EWWWWW"the children screeched and laughed, as we broke apart and giggled.  "Alright , The year we met. It was my 6th year in Hogwarts......"

  Ginny's POV: 

     I was heading towards the great hall for the start-of-term feast.  "GINNY!" I turned around to see Neville trying to catch up with me, with luna in tow. I took a few steps back to meet up with them, "Hullo, ready for the start of term?" I asked. Neville smiled brightly and his eyes lit up, "I can't wait to get back into the herbology greenhouse, Professor Sprout said I could Intern with her this year!" I smiled as I gave him a quick squeeze. "Oh Nev, that's brilliant...I am so proud of you. You're gonna do so great!" Luna broke through the conversation and looked at with her whimsical blue eyes, and calming features. "Ginny, hope you had a good Holiday? I know we didn't get to see each other as much as I had hoped?" I knew Luna was right, none of them had seen each other much after Professor Dumbledores funeral. "It was as good as it could be Lu, your right I wish we all would have owled more,"  I replied quickly, I knew that wouldn't have made my summer much better, but having my friends around would have helped. Breaking my train of thought Neville started talking again. "So, how about we head to the feast?" a slight smile on his face. We knew this year wasn't something to smile about, but our plan was about to set in motion.  I smirked and whispered to them "To the rebellion!" The three of us then turn and head towards the great hall. 

     The great hall looked different, the feeling of whimsical joy was no longer present. The ceiling no longer looked like the sky but, of the cold bricks making up the rest of the room. The astronomical difference in the atmosphere was excitingly obvious to anyone. The number of students that did not return was quite a large number, our in-school allies were limited. Most of us that returned were either Pure-blood or Slytherin, all the other houses were outnumbered.       Then after everyone is seated the yearly sorting starts. 

                                                                             * After the sorting*

         

        After the house sorting there was a solid 10 minutes of silence, no one knew what was to happen in the year to come and it scared a lot of us. Then Professor Snape stands and walks towards to podium, I turned to Neville wide-eyed. "There is no way they let HIM be headmaster, right?" Neville whispered. I couldn't process what was happening in front of me, the man that I once respected KILLED our Headmaster and has the nerve to take his seat.  My hands began to shake as my face grew red with fury, till I heard someone breaking my train of thought. "Gin, He finished talking, and the food is out. " I smiled at Neville for bringing me back to reality and reminded me to eat before time was up. "Thanks Nev! Oh, by the way, meet me in the Room of Requirements after this. We need to talk about the Rebellion." I filled my plate with honey Ham, Mashed Potatoes, and Brussel sprouts. Neville, Seamus, and I talked about our summers and about what this year may bring. We had to be careful about what we said though there were death eaters everywhere you turned. After dinner we all split, as I was getting out from the table and preparing for our meeting.  Neville looked at me and I mouthed to him" Room of requirement! 25 minutes!" 

          I turned to walk out of the great hall, waving goodbye to Luna from my table.  I was walking till I walked into something hard sending me to the floor. I look up to see what I hit, and saw the one and only Draco Malfoy. "Ahhh Weaslette, you returned? will you blood trators ALWAYS plauge this school?" I slightly flintched at his last sentence and saw his eyes soften, his eyes....they were so afraid...why? I felt a tinge of pain in my chest looking into his eyes, they were beautiful, but they were pained. I finally came to my senses and stood up "Shut up Ferret!" I hissed a I pushed past him. I continued walking to the Room of Requirements, but I couldn't get the look in his eyes out of my head. 

#harry potter fic #draco lucius malfoy #draco x ginny #fanfic #harry potter

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: The Trickening!

Halloween Havoc continues! Louie’s greed and lack of concern for his brother’s feelings or well thought out schedule leads them to a real life haunted house with vampire clowns, dummies, a scary well lady and a gelatinous cube. Because there’s’es always room for gelatinous cube. Meanwhile Della wants to use Launchpad’s dangerous misconceptions about halloween to traumatize children for funzies and Donald had a problem with that for some reason. Also Scrooge is kind of an asshole on Halloween it turns out. No one is suprised. Ghosts, goblins, and full review with spoilers under the cut. 

Happy halloween month everybody! Halloween Havoc, aka my spate of halloween reviews continues as I roll into my first actual halloween episode review of the season! Yeah weird but so far we’ve covered demons getting exorcisims, little girls thinking they can raise the dead, and a horrifying plauge guided by the human incarnation of all that is evil, but not the actual holliday itself. Weird ain’t it? Well that changes with this so as always pitter patter. 

It’s HALLOWEEN here in duckberg, and the mansion kids are planning Trick or Treating. Natural given Huey’s OCD, he has everything planned out a and naturally the kids all have unique and adorable costumes. Huey is gizmoduck, though with a GK instead of  GD, a nice nod to “New Gizmokids on the BLock’ From the original series, an episode I haven’t seen but have heard of so theres that. It’s also because he likely wants to be Fenton’s kid sidekick which.. yeah please do that show. It’d be so fucking adorable. Plus Huey needs to be happy for once without having to go through a gauntlet of misery first. Let my boy be happy. +

Anyways Dewey’s is rather disapointing as it’s a “pirate on vacation” which while hilarious and very dewey, is kind of an anti-climax after months of speculation. Webby is some kind of ancient demon king as apparently in the duckverse the origins of halloween are based on appeasing various monsters, and this is so she can hide from them effectively. And Louie.. is Huey. Which means putting on Huey’s hat and a terribly insulting impression of him. 

Meanwhile Donald and Della are an angel and a devil, with, which I didn’t realize until a tumblr post, Della’s costume being the one one of the boys wore in the classic disney trick or treat short. So that’s a nice nod. Donald wants to nicely give out candy while Della wants to terrify the children. Both end up disapointed as Scrooge instead boots everyone from the house and locks the mansion gates, as he doesn’t like giving out handouts which.. yeah that tracks. 

As it turns out Scrooge also has his own plans.. which are gloriously ludicrous, sounding like something Glomgold would do: He’s going to go trick or treating himself, as when he was a boy, this was the one time of year a poor lad like him could get treats and he worked his tail off to do so and wants to prove he’s still got it. And as we see later SOMEHOW he still gets candy. It’s like if THIS was actually sucessful. 

I would genuinely not be suprised if Scrooge too hadn’t tried to get an oil well from an elementary school this way. As for leaving candy out he leaves out an empty take one bowl which is as clever as it is douchey. So in other words Scrooge in a nutshell. So with handing out treats and scares at the house a non-option, Della and Donald go to see what Launchpad’s doing since Beakly.. is.. I have no fucking idea. NO I really don’t, she shows up for the ending, but before that? If they mentioned where she was I clearly missed it because she’s just.. missing for most of the episode and given every other member of the main cast is accounted for this episode, it’s VERY noticable. Give her more to do dangit!

So yeah we get our two plots, which i’ll cover seperately, then cover the ending where they dovetail together. Kay? Kay. 

The Kid’s Plot centers around Huey and Louie.. specifically Louie wanting to go to a real life haunted house while Huey, as mentinoed has heavily established plans for their night. As for why Louie would go into danger, well as usual for when he does that theirs something in it for him: Rumor has it no kid has ever made it out with their candy.. thus leaving decades worth of candy just waiting to be nabbed and thus never having to trick or treat again. One big score for a payoff.. which didn’t make a lot of sense on first thought and my best guest is whatever preservative Gyro used for Oxy Chew, since it was still edible decades later, was probably spread to other candies since there’s no way in hell Scrooge would pass up a zillion dollar invention like that. Either way works.  Huey is outvoted as Dewey naturally wants the excitment and Webby wants to see if her demon costume works on actual demons. However things quicklky go wrong as they ecoounter a dewey dummy and a killer dummy, as well as a monster clown and a gelatonous cube, which yes. I may not play DnD but I love these things. 

The kids escape the house by accident while tryign to escape and Louie, still being a dick about things, finds out Huey DID know abotu the stash btu avoided it and Louie lays into Huey.. a bit much honestly, feeling he was agaisnt it purely because it wasn’t on schedule.. when you know, Louie could’ve asked to put it on schedule or actually given a damn about this, especially since Huey’s planned their trick or treats EVERY YEAR, so he’s had a full year to ask for this insane idea, or even the short time he’s known about it if shorter. Sure huey might of sputtered a bit, but Louie knows his other siblings, Webby and Dewey could convince him to loosen up and include the house. Louie’s just being kind fo a selfish dick here.. however i’ts not so overwhelming as to overpower the episode, as he has been before and while he should know better about risking his family’s lives after “Timephoon!” it is in character for him to protiize a big score like this over other people’s feelings and it’s not even the first time this season he’s done that. So fair enough. 

But we soon get the second best reveal of the episode: As the kids are backed into a corner by monsters.. they grumble theres no candy and it turns out the monsters.. ARE REAL.. but their traditional monsters like frankenstein, dracula, and the bride of frankenstein, just dressed up like this to scare kids. As it turns out the WHOLE THING is an elaborate yearly scooby doo hoax to get kids candy, with the brilliant twist it’s done by actual monsters> As the vampire points out they can’t exactly shop during the day.. or he can’t at least, so this is how they get candy for the year.. at tribute if you will. Also the Gelationous Cube gets a nice hat as you see above. It’s a REALLY clever twist and I absolutely love it. I DID NOT see it coming and even with some spoiler screenshots I thankfully did not have it spoiled for me. REALLY good stuff. 

As for why Huey’s been so obessed with his planning.. it’s actually really clever and really good character stuff: Huey simply got really into it because back when they were with donald this WAS their adventure for the year: the one time he let them cut loose and have fun, and he got a real kick out of it.. and Louie getting candy for life kind of destroys that. And that’s why Louie still works here.. because he instnatly realizes from this that was the problem and apologizes in his own way. It’s a nice bit of character from both: We’ve rarely had their pre-mansion lives factor in and it’s nice to see it for a change, and it’s nice to see Louie isn’t all dick, just like 20% dick. Unforutnately having no candy dosen’t appease the monsters who are pissed and descend on the kids.. until.. well for the until we have to back up a bit.  So onto the adult plot we go! Della and Donald go to Launchpad whose dressed in a jason mask and ash williams/jason coveralls, weilding a power sander and having barricaded his place. After he scares some children, a bit too much, and Della and Donald are reallyd amn confused, he explains.. and we get the best reveal of the episode.. which given the above is saying something but it’s clear like the “blath” gag in “Astro BOYD” and the non-anthro ducks gag last week, this is one of those things Frank has been keeping under his hat all series.  So as a boy Launchpad crashed his tryke into the mansion, ran into the monsters after reading off a candy wrapper.. and now assumes he unleashed a horde of monsters onto the world every halloween.. and tha’ts what he assumes the trick or treaters are. I just .. dont’ have a lto of words. This is pure comedy gold and easily the best gag of the episode and oen fo the best of the series. It’s clever, fresh, and really fits the character. Naturally Della wants to exploit this to terrify children ebcause she has underlying issues to adress while Donald tries to stop her. Thankfully before Della can get launchpad to scar children for life, Scrooge shows up and fights launchpad.. it’s part of why I also find scrooge’s dickery acceptable as launchpad beats the shit out of him.. it’s still an even fight, as not to suspend disbelief, but Scrooge still looses. I mean he gets out of being trapped in his candy bag easily because scrooge btu still, props to launchpad. So Launchpad decides to go face his fears and Donald and Della decide to stop him before he doesd a muder on a child.  Which leads to an AMAZING climax as Launchpad scooby doo chases the scared monsters around as they have no idea what the fuck’s going on and hte monsters end up really enjoying his scar eof htem and bowing to the master. It’s a good way to end it. After Della explains what’s going on, Louie and Huey decide to explain halloween to Launchpad by taking him to the once house he hasn’t been: the Manor. Scrogoe has finally opened it up, with a line of kids no less, the monsters bond with some kids in line. As for why.. as Webby sadly figures out Scrooge is charging admission, thakns to dewey who thought an all night candy store was a good idea which.. yeah it is. So everyone gets a happye ending and the monsters hang a photo of hte night up in the mansion. A really sweet ending, pun uintended but eh it’s welcome. 

Final Thoughts.  Easily one fo the series best. While the characters are a bit exagerated in places, i.e. della, launchpad , scrooge and louie, it works for the plot well enough and the jokes well enough to make it okay. My only real complaint is a lack of even a cameo from Lena and Violet, as it feels weird to not even have htem in the ending, much less trick or treating with their friends. It just feels odd and could’ve used a throaway line. I get WHY not , as Lena even pre-blue would’ve destoryed the tension with the monsters, but it still feeels really weird to not have them. But it’s a minor quibble in an otherwise REALLY funny and creative episode and a fun halloween treat to revist every year from now on. Really good work.  That does it for this week. For more halloween treats, follow this blog throughout october. So far i’ve done reviews of Demonicsim from Star Vs The Forces of Evil for Tomtober, Croaked, the Casagrandes day of the dead Special and the first of Marvel’s mini-series adapting Stephen’ King’s epic novel The Stand. And until next monday, or sooner if you decide to check any of that out, happy halloween!

#halloween #ducktales #the trickening #huey duck #louie duck #della duck #donald duck #dewey duck #webby vanderquack #scrooge mcduck #launchpad mcquack #monsters #super creeps #keeps me running running scared #october #reviews #animation

[buggy-d-hoe]

Because I am a goon and posted this on the wrong blog D: Thank you Maddie for wracking my brains with this, but let’s get it! 

This takes place around Half-Blood Prince, just a couple days after Harry and Draco’s duel. Whether it makes it into the actual story, who knows :0

“So, it’s the quiet game we’re going to play?” Adella finished skinning an apple and looked to Draco, hoping for any response. He was lying down on the infirmary bed, covered in bandages like a mummy, and looking away from her. If she was in a joking mood, Adella would’ve made sure he never forgot this, but lately, she couldn’t bring herself to find anything to break her sulleness. 

It had been a couple days since his incident with Harry Potter in the bathroom; a couple days since Draco nearly died at the hands of a spell Harry had thrown unintentionally. Luckily, Professor Snape was able to intervene and adminsitered the proper care, sparing the Malfoys from losing their only son. Adella had spent almost every second in the infirmary when she wasn’t in class, even bringing meals to eat beside him, much to the concern of her friends. 

“Draco,” she urged again, slamming the knife on the plate, growing frustrated with his aloofness. Madam Pomfrey looked up from across the room to check on the commotion, but Adella waved her hands to indicate there was no problem. Madam Pomfrey lowered her eyes and kept her gaze on the two as she returned to her conversation with another student.

Adella returned her attention to Draco with her cheeks burning with embarassment. “What are you going on about now Benson?” He finally managed in a low voice, tired and irritated. Adella’s patience was wearing thin and him pretending she wasn’t there wasn’t making the situation any better.  

She scoffed in disbelief. She had high hopes for any return to normalcy between them, but his mention off her last name indicated they had instead regressed. “So we’re back to Benson now are we, Malfoy?” 

He clicked his tongue. “You are a frustrating girl, you know?” 

“Well, I wouldn’t be frustrating if you would acknowledge me and pretend I wasn’t invisible.” She shoved the plate of sliced apples to him. “Now eat.” 

Draco finally turned his head and Adella winced at his features. His eyes were bloodshot, like he had avoided sleep for days, his complexion pale, and his eyes sunken. Draco Malfoy was a shadow of his former self, like a fire on its last ember. 

“Get it through your thick skull and put two and two together. If I’m not conversing with you, it’s because I don’t want to. You are just a distraction Benson, nothing more and nothing less,” he said in a low voice. “That kiss was a mistake and you’re acting like a lovestruck girl, angry that you aren’t being pursed.” 

Adella bit her lower lip, reining in her rising temper. “You don’t get it, do you?” Draco raised a questionable brow. “You can’t just do this, you kiss me and make me believe that there was something behind it and turn around and switch it off like it was nothing.” 

Draco scowled. “That’s because it didn’t mean anything. It was just a kiss. Stop trying to find any meaning to it because it meant nothing.” Adella saw him clench his jaw. “I dont like repeating myself Benson, but somehow you are brilliant at pushing my buttons.” 

Adella stood up abrupty, gathering her things. “To you, it was just that. What you don’t understand is that to me, there was something, whether you believe it or not.” She leaned forward until she was inches away from his face. Draco tensed up. “Stop deluding yourself and be honest with me.” 

They locked eyes with one another, grey against blue, and neither wanted to budge. Adella had to completely restrain herself from leaning forward, but being this close to Draco was intoxicating. There was always this feeling between them that she had longed denied, but recent events made her consider a possibility. Everything that lead up to this moment made sense, but she herself was the one who deceiving herself. 

Adella Benson was utterly and wholeheartedly in love with Draco Malfoy. 

She saw Draco’s gaze fall on her lips before returning his attention back to her. Adella’s heart thundered in her ears and felt her knees grow weak. Then, the sound of a plate shattering on the floor startled her, and she back away in fright. Looking over bed, she found apple slices strewn all over the floor. Draco had purposely knocked the plate off his lap, drawing the attention of Madam Pomfrey who was hurrying over. 

“I want you to stop coming here and bothering me Benson,” he threatened, his eyes cold but his trademark smirk was ever present. “You don’t and will never mean anything to me.” 

“Is everything alright Mr. Malfoy?” Madam Pomfrey inquired, looking back and forth between Adella and Draco, unaware of what had transpired. She turned to Adella. “Ms. Benson, I believe Mr. Malfoy needs his rest,” she ordered, motioning for the young girl to leave. 

Without another word, Adella turned on her heel, refusing to look at the truimphant look on Draco’s face, and stormed out of the infirmary, almost slamming the doors behind her. She fought back hot, fresh tears as she made her way back to the Ravenclaw Tower. She kept her head down, wishing to not attract attention as she passed by the other students. 

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve, wishing to free herself from the haunting memory of their only kiss. Just as beautiful, it was a poisonous thought, her and Draco. Her lips were beginning to from the friction, but Adella longed to rid herself of this sick fantasy. She could get over the physical pain, but it paled in comparison to the thoughts plauging her. After all, it was the memories that hurt the most. 

#asks #oc: adella benson #fic: resplendence #draco malfoy #dradella #harry potter oc #dang it Maddie #why you gotta do this to me D: #the dradella feels are killing me

[mosmindmanifested]

The Biggest Risk You Can Take is Not Taking Risks

Are you risk averse? I would not be suprised if you were. Risk taking is a cultural taboo; associated with images of casinos, intoxicated attempts at parkour, and losing your life savings on a sub-prime mortgage scam. "Only 5% of small business succeed." "Your chances at getting into medical school are 1 in 150, what makes you think YOU of all people are special?" These and many other aphorisms plauge our minds as we make crucial decisions, some which may alter the course of our lives indefinetly. Where does this doubting culture come from? Who benefits from conformity and docile acceptance of ficticious circumstance? Who capitalizes on you compromising your unique vision and taking 'a more realistic' approach? Until 1995, if you worked at IBM you were not allowed to wear anything other than a white dress shirt, a black tie and navy jacket. Other stringent demands were placed on uniformity (color of socks, color of shoes, style of coat etc), expect to be written up otherwise. What is the value of having non-risk-takers? Depenability? I mean that is what you are getting paid for right? Think of how many useless meeting you attend in a year, how many e-mails you respond to, how many hours of your work-day go by with not much work getting done. Trust me, you are not fooling your employer. They are just as aware of the lack of work being done, and the hours being paid for it. So why pay you for the unnecessary hours? Dependability? To better illustrate the phenomena let us turn to the brilliant writer Nassim Taelb who can better elucidate this: "Bob calls you at 5 P.M. to let you know that he and the copilot, well, they love you… but, you know, they will not fly the plane tomorrow. You know, they had an offer from a Saudi Arabia Sheikh, a devout man who wants to take a special party to Las Vegas, and needs Bob and his team to run the flight. The Sheikh and his retinue fell in love with Bob’s manners, the fact that Bob never had a drop of alcohol in his life, has an expertise in fermented yoghurt drinks, and told him that money was no object. The offer is so generous that it covers whatever penalty there is for a breach of a competing contract by Bob. You make a few phone calls and it turns out that it is easier to find an academic economist with common sense and ability to understand what’s going on than find another pilot, that is, an event of probability zero. You have all this equity in a firm that is now under severe financial threat. You are certain that you will go bust. You start thinking: well, you know, if Bob were a slave, someone you own, you know, these kind of things would not be possible. Slave? But wait… what Bob just did isn’t something that employees who are in the business of being employees do! People who are employees for a living don’t have such opportunistic behavior. Contractors are too free; they fear only the law. But employees have a reputation to protect. And they can be fired. People who like employment like it for a reason. They like the paycheck! People you find in employment love the regularity of the payroll, with the special envelop on their desk the last day of the month, and without which they would act as a baby deprived of mother’s milk. Then you realize that had Bob been an employee rather than what appeared to be cheaper, that contractor thing, then you wouldn’t be having so much trouble. But employees are expensive… You got to pay them even when you’ve got nothing to do for them. You lose your flexibility. Talent for talent, they cost a lot more. Lovers of paychecks are lazy … but they would never let you down at times like these. So employees exist because they have significant skin in the game –and the risk is shared with them, enough risk for it to be a deterrent and a penalty for acts of undependability, such as failing to show up on time. You are buying dependability. And dependability is a driver behind many transactions. People of some means have a country house, which is inefficient compared to hotels or rentals, because they want to make sure it is available if they decide they wanted to use it at a whim. There is an expression “never buy when you can rent the three “Fs”: what you Float, what you Fly, and what you …that something else”. Yet many people own boats, planes, and end up with that something else. True, a contractor has downside, a financial penalty that can be built-into the contract, in addition to reputational costs. But consider that an employee will always have more risk. And conditional on someone being an employee such a person will be risk averse. By having been employees they signal a certain type of domestication. Someone who has been employed for a while is giving you the evidence of submission Evidence of submission is displayed by having gone through years of the ritual of depriving himself of his personal freedom for nine hours every day, punctual arrival at an office, denying himself his own schedule, and not having beaten up anyone. You have an obedient, housebroken dog." Who benefits from you not taking risks? The last person you want to be is the guy with the pink mowhawk arriving at army base camp for recruitment initiation. The last person you want to be is the guy who falls in love with the woman working in his office. The last person you want to be is the guy who failed at business. Freedom is not free. Freedom to do as you want, to be who you are, on your own terms comes at a cost. That cost is uncertainty. Being one of the few who venture into unknown territory and takes the risk associated with such a journey. This land of the unknown was personfied as a mythical beast, typically harbouring great treasures and holding captive a princess! You either slay the beast and get rewarded accordingly, or you die in the process. Or you could be many of the faceless men who did not have the courage St.Geroge had, and enjoy an endless series of comfortable domestication. Who benefits from you not taking risks? One of Aesop's Fables to further drill the point: "A gaunt Wolf was almost dead with hunger when he happened to meet a House-dog who was passing by. “Ah, Cousin,” said the Dog. “I knew how it would be; your irregular life will soon be the ruin of you. Why do you not work steadily as I do, and get your food regularly given to you?” “I would have no objection,” said the Wolf, “if I could only get a place.” “I will easily arrange that for you,” said the Dog; “come with me to my master and you shall share my work.” So the Wolf and the Dog went towards the town together. On the way there the Wolf noticed that the hair on a certain part of the Dog’s neck was very much worn away, so he asked him how that had come about. “Oh, it is nothing,” said the Dog. “That is only the place where the collar is put on at night to keep me chained up; it chafes a bit, but one soon gets used to it.” “Is that all?” said the Wolf. “Then good-bye to you, Master Dog.” The last person you want to be is the kid who protests doing his homework because he feels it is useless. The last person you want to be is the kid who notices the emporer has no clothes. (In the original myth, the child who possesed the awareness that the adults lacked in rightfully seeing his authority figure in a compromising position, and then proclaiming that fact for the world to see, was put to death.) How does a pimp posses a hoe? He offers her the opportunity to make money. Money she could triple if she decided to work as an independant contractor. He offers her community. She becomes a part of a 'stable' (a group of specialy selected prostitutes that a pimp owns). Once she has been with him for a while, there is something to lose. The extravagent dress, the luxury living, the community of fellow prostitutes, the reputation she built under her pimp, all gone if she one day decides to pick a different profession. That makes for one dependable and risk averse employee. Who benefits from you not taking risks? Definetly not you. Namaste :)

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The great Ralph Carney has passed away. Like a lot of other people right now, I'm heartbroken. Ralph was a true friend. A force of nature. Wild. Hilarious. Brilliant. Compassionate. He changed my life (and my music) forever. I met Ralph in London through David Coulter's Plauge Songs at The Barbican. We liked each other immediately. He could tell I was nervous to be there among so many seasoned performers and went out of his way to put me at ease and joke around with me to lighten the mood. After the show he offered to play on one of my records and made good on his offer by delivering performances that took my second record somewhere I had never imagined it could go. He wasn't one of those people you only heard from when there's a project going on or a show to play. He wrote me all the time. About anything. Just to check on me. To say hi. To send me some old song he liked. I grew up listening to Ralph's music. I've always revered him. I'm honored to have shared a stage with him so many times. I'm a better musician and a better person for knowing Ralph Carney. I love you man.