#broken alone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pangur-and-grim · 1 month

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I’m too gullible with people. I’ll have encounters and be like “aw they seemed nice ☺️” and then everyone around me will be like NONONONONO THAT WAS THE DEVIL!!!!!!!

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yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou · 2 years

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#sad #broken #tired #hurt #pain #lonely #unhappy #sadness #depression #anxiety #trauma #worthless #suicide #suicidal #bpd #heartbroken #flashbacks #quotes #alone #angry #hate #mental health

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zarathustra-would-be-proud · 2 years

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#depressed #depression #suicide #suicidal #sad #alone #lonely #broken #death #bipolar #dead #sadness #broken heart #blood

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late-for-the-sky · 5 months

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I hope my absence brings you the peace that my love couldn’t

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poppedbubblgum · 8 months

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The battle nexus is a rather lonely place…

#my art #rottmnt #rottmnt separated au #fun fact he’s lived in that cell for a decade :D #but yeah even though being alone won’t make him go savage #he still doesnt like it #but he had to learn to live with it regardless #background practice #broken hearts au

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

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icaruspendragon · 2 months

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i hope this isn't too personal of a question (and if it is that's totally cool, i was literally just curious as a fellow aspec person), but i was wondering what some of your thoughts were about being aspec, like it's totally cool if your thoughts were just the post you reblogged!!! that's honestly still putting into words a bit a similar way i figured out i was aspec, but i know you seem to have really interesting takes on things/conclusions you've realized about things a lot of the time and so i was just curious what thoughts were turning around your head about being aspec

I don't mind talking about it at all!

So for me sex is like this perfunctory, borderline tedious thing. I almost want to call it a chore, but that has negative connotations that don't exactly match up with how I feel about it. It's like something on a to do list, or like running an errand.

Think of it this way: For me, having sex is akin to going to the pharmacy. Actually, it's more like being asked to go for someone else. It's not on my list of things I enjoy doing and there are other things I would rather do, but I don't mind going if someone asks me to. But once in a blue moon I do actually want to go because I want candy or a Juneberry Red Bull or some shit like that and Walgreens happens to be nearby.

Media builds up sex to be this incredible and awesome and amazing thing that everyone wants to have, which is at odds with the widely held societal belief that it's uncouth to discuss sex openly with others. So if media says "yes you should want this" and society says "but you shouldn't talk about it with others because it's an incredibly private act" it makes it kinda difficult when you don't feel the way you're "supposed to." And then when you do talk about how you don't feel that way, people say there's something wrong with you or that you haven't found the right person or that maybe you need to change things up in the bedroom or that you need to go to a doctor because it's gotta be a hormonal imbalance or something. The list really does go on and on.

And so many of my expectations surrounding sex were informed by fanfic where I read, in detail, about how good it was supposed to feel. About all the different ways it could feel good.

I wanted it to be like that for me, for it to be as good as I had read and seen and heard others talk about, so I kept on trying. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Not E rated fanfic enjoyed it, but it was nice. Nice in the same way a cup of tea is nice, but nice nonetheless.

But most of the time it was like, clinical? Like I was acutely aware of what was happening, if that makes sense. I was thinking about the mechanics of it, what was going in where. I was thinking about how it was "supposed to feel" versus how it actually felt. I would wonder how much longer it would take because I was getting bored. Sometimes I would think about how rude it would be if I checked my phone. And probably the most upsetting (retrospectively) thing I would think about was if my act of enjoyment was convincing enough. And I didn't ever want to tell a partner that I wasn't enjoying it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Because I thought it was a me problem. That there was something wrong with me. And there being something wrong with me wasn't fair to whoever I was with. I just needed to grin and bear it, so to speak.

At one point I had a bit of a gay panic where I thought wasn't bisexual and actually a lesbian. The panic was over the confusion, not over the potential lesbianism. Lesbians are awesome. But I learned that while sexual intimacy with women was a bit easier, my feelings (or lack thereof) about sex were still the same. And that meant there was something wrong with me in particular.

I know now that my perspective was warped and my thoughts about myself were both unkind and untrue, but that was a lot to try and reconcile as a 19 year old who already thought she was undesirable. Constantly being called a "late bloomer" and not having your first relationship until you're a sophomore in college sure does a number on your self esteem. Which in turn does a number on your perception of yourself.

Then as I got older, I got more queer friends. And I talked to those queer friends. And they talked about sex differently than my straight friends did. More openly and honestly. With less fanfare. And it was during those discussions that I heard about experiences similar to mine. And it helped me realize I wasn't broken. Well, that and google.

And now I stand before you today, an aspec bisexual able to joke about being horny in theory but not in application. It's nice not feeling broken anymore. But I think it's even nicer now knowing that I was never broken in the first place.

Sometimes sex is nice, but most of the time, it's just going to the pharmacy. And both of those things are okay.

#asks #if 20 year old Berklie could see me talking so frankly about my sex life she'd probably implode #but if you never talk about this kinda stuff it makes it awful hard for folks to know they're not the only ones #that they're not alone #and most importantly: that they're not broken like she had always been led to believe

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themadknightuniverse · 1 year

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Territory

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#Nachito punishing Lalo for getting them lost in the desert #Lalo is definitely spending the night all alone outside of the car #nobody cares if it's getting cold at night Lalo #maybe he was just trying to play the “broken- down car” trick tho #well it's a FAIL LALO #nacho varga #lacho #bcs #better call saul fanart #better call saul #michael mando #my art

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johnconstantinesdick · 2 months

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I get the criticism of the Hunters of Artemis from a narrative perspective—it sucks that it essentially boots interesting female characters out of the story—but it always baffles me when people viciously hate Artemis for *checks notes* doing damage control.

Like. Thalia explicitly goes with Artemis to avoid the prophecy, and I definitely think that’s the reason Artemis tried so hard to get her to join—hell, you can view the hunters trying to recruit Annabeth as a way to get Thalia to join. And Bianca? You can’t convince me that Artemis didn’t guess there was something up there and react accordingly.

If Percy or Nico were even a little bit girl-adjacent you bet your ass she would be all over them to join. No one actually wants to risk the Great Prophecy happening, and Artemis is doing a hell of a lot more to stop it than anyone else.

#riordanverse #pjo #percy jackson #Artemis pjo #hunters of artemis #crack fic idea: Poseidon and Zeus have broken the oath several times before Thalia Jason and Percy. Artemis has just been hauling ass across #the country each time it happens. they have been so fucking lucky that their kids have been girl or girl-adjacent so far.#Artemis gets her info from Apollo (who gets pinged whenever a new potential prophecy child is born)#the hunters weren’t at westover to hunt thorn or even recruit Thalia. they were ACTUALLY there because Artemis got a text from her brother #like ‘lol the di angelo kids are out of the lotus hotel’#and Artemis is like gods FUCKING damnit hades I thought we had an understanding #OTHER fic idea: Bianca joins the hunters in the 30s and Nico goes to the casino alone #OTHER OTHER fic idea: Artemis can tell people’s gender sometimes before they can and now she has to crack trans Percy’s egg before she turns #sixteen so she’ll agree to join the hunters and put the prophecy off once again.#anyway. this has been my defense of Artemis.#eli rambles #eli writes

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sa-dnesss · 2 years

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This is the loneliest I have ever felt

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brokenflicker · 2 years

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something i realized over the years is that despite wanting to kill myself, i don't actually wanna die. far from it actually. i want to live. i want to experience all the things i always wanted to do. i want to see the world. i want to look in the mirror one day and say "im happy i stayed". i want to get better. i want to live a life free from the shackles this mental illness has kept me in. but sometimes that darkness in my brain just overtakes that hope for a better future and all i'm left with is the thought that it will never get better.

— i want to live, but not like this.

#mental health #depression #depressed #alone #sad #lonely #suicide #suicidal #broken #relapse

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the-suicide-effect · 10 months

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"I feel the worst when I'm alone because that's when the monsters in my head say 'hello' "