#broken heart owie

[bleuberrygliscor]

...so just hector huh...

open up Intelligent Systems. i just wanna talk. i just wanna fucking talk.

#rem rambles #heart...broken... #i am taking my husband and i am GOING HOME #SO CHROM AND ROBIN GET TO BE BROS BUT NOT NOT HECTOR AND FUCKING ELIWOOD #YOU KNOW. ELIWOOD. ELIWOOD THE LORD OF THE GAME ELIWOOD. THAT ELIWOOD #I AM SO UPSET AND HURT LIKE I KNOW THERES OTHER DLC WAVES BUT LIKE FUCKING OUCH. OWIE. MY FEELINGS

[irondad-creator-awards]

And The Finalists Are...

The following are the 2023 Irondad Creator Awards Finalists for the fic-based  awards.

THE MULTI-CHAPTER YOU COULDN’T PUT DOWN All Good Things Come in Threes by Bergen Broken Mirrors and Fragile Things by EvieNyx but only hope and sorrows end by iron_spider Catch and Keep by Bergen For We Are Bound By Symmetry by kingdomfaraway From My Weakness I Drew Strength by Mendeia Identity Crisis by KitCat992 Not Broken, Just Bent by Cheerios_me_lovely So Many Things to Say by happyaspie The Chasm Between by TheSleepingOwl The Long Game by Niniblack THE ONE-SHOT THAT THAT HAD YOU HOOKED A different kind of heat by KatinaMoon Buried Deep by inkinmyheartandonthepage Dead in There, You're Dead in There by iron_spider From Strangers to Siblings by for_the_night How to Fire Your Intern Sixteen Times in Three Days by Bergen Pain Relief by Sara (Ctrsara) Pickle Starburst by Bergen The Little Things by crowkag You Game? Cake Time? by iron_spider You Talk of the Pain like it's All Alright by SpaceCowboysFromMars THE BEST THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES A Misunderstanding by woamx Ashes by Winterturtle Drowning In The Whispers by Winterturtle Every Spider has its Day (Prompt 5: Every Whumpee's Needs) by itsapugthing Koala Care by happaspie Peter Stark by ilove_klance Should I Go Into the Light? by happyaspie The Guest Room by Niniblack This Feels Right, So Stay A Sec by ErrorinLoading Tony Stark Doesn't Do Naps by lillylemonbee THE ONE THAT MADE YOU GASP A Peter Parker Problem by spagbol99 All Good Things Come in Threes by Bergen Can't Part the Sea, Can't Reach the Shore by forensicleaf For We Are Bound By Symmetry by kingdomfaraway Hold Me Close, If You Dare by Peters12&3bros Oh Sweet Child, The Things I'd Do For You by TonyStarkissist Only Suckers Wear Scarves by Bergen Savoir-vivre, or Whatever You Call It by Bergen The Chasm Between by The SleepingOwl The Ghost at the Back of Your Closet by Niniblack Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt THE BIODAD THAT TOUCHED YOUR HEART A Little Late On the Blood Work by Pixiemage One Single Thread of Gold by TonyStarkTrash Picture Day by iron_spider Savoir-vivre, or Whatever You Call It by Bergen The Long Game by Niniblack The Simple Life by Niniback The Ties That Bind Us by Winterturtle Uncle Obie May Have Lied (and Other Lessons to be Learned) by theskeptileptic We'll Make Butterflies by iron_spider You're My (Spider) Baby by for_the_night THE ONE WHERE WORLDS COLLIDE Emergency Contacts by Sara (ctrsara) it's a secret to everybody by snapdragon_in_the_snow Put it on Speaker by OnlyForward Quaranteens by Blueh Setting Things Straight by Sara (ctrsara) Sick Day Shouldas by Sara (ctrsara) The Person on the Other End of the Line by imgoingtocrash Ultimate School Pick up by coconutknightshade Undercover Chaperone by happyaspie What Makes a Hero by patrochillies_trash THE ONE WITH ALL THE OWIES At the Bottom by living_is_easy_with_eyes_closed Broken Mirrors and Fragile Things by EvieNyx but only hope and sorrows end by iron_spider Couch Cuddles by happaspie Four times Peter Cheated Death and One Time He Didn’t by iron_spider Grief Has No Timeline by Sara (ctrsara) He’s Just a Kid by for_the_night My Teen Angst Bullshit Has a Body Count by imgoingtocrash Not Broken, Just Bent by Cheerios_me_lovely The Long Game by Niniblack Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt THE ONE WITHOUT A HOME TO GO TO Broken Mirrors and Fragile Things by EvieNyx Distracted by a Dime by happyaspie Gaslighting for Breakfast by Anonymous Hold Me Close, If You Dare by i'd_rather_be_reading_3 I Am Not Known (If I'm Not Seen or Heard) by Madje_Knotts Iron Dad: Coming Home by JAWorley No Ulterior Motive by ob_liv_ious_writer So this is Christmas… by Cheerios_me_lovely The Morning Will Come (and the dream stealing your sleep will end) by Winterturtle Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt THE SECOND CHANCE AT HOME   Home by patrochilles_trash Home is Wherever I'm With You by Maicaly I Promise by MARVELously3000 My Friends Are Ghosts by firecracker121 Not Broken, Just Bent by Cheerios_ me_lovely Peter's Hitchhiking Guide To The Time Heist by Randomsketchez So Many Things to Say by happyaspie The Seventh Escape by Bergen To Melt An Iron Heart by retro_memo Unexpected Brother at Daycare by Yeeter_Parker THE FIXER-UPPER (Meet Me In) The Afterglow by pro_fangirl Blue Memento by Bergen Broken Mirrors and Fragile Things by EvieNyx Count my Heartbeats by KatinaMoon Hold On To All My Son by for_the_night How to Fire Your Intern Sixteen Times in Three Days by Bergen Long Story Short (It Was A Bad Time) Or AIs Don't Forget by peacockgirl One in a Million by inkonmyheartandonthepage The Other Side by memoriaeterna Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt Whatever it Takes, Spiderling by lethewren THE MAGIC NUMBERS 5 Times Peter Accidentally Stuck to Something by call_me_coley 5 Times Peter Leaves Before The Ambulance Arrives (And 1 Time He Can't) by lillylemonbee 5 Times Peter Scared the Crap Out of Tony + 1 Time He Scared Everyone Else by Sara (ctrsara) 5 Times Peter’s Metabolism Screwed Him Over by for_the_night 5 Times Someone Loved the Paparazzi more than Tony + 1 time someone didn't by KatinaMoon 5 times Tony joked about Peter being part spider by KatinaMoon 5 Times Tony Reminded Peter He Was Human by KatinaMoon Five Times Tony Stark's Fabled Intern Just Showed Up + One Time He Was Invited by kingdomfarway Mishaps at Midtown by OnlyForward So this is Christmas… by Cheerios_me_lovely With Great Power by polariod15 THE RIPPING OFF THE MASK ONE All Good Things Come in Threes by Bergen Intern Override by Sara (ctrsara) Lost and Found by Pogokitten Peter Is Worthy (and so done) by Anonymous Rhodes Well Traveled by Grumperella So Many Things to Say by happyaspie The Kid Behind The Mask by inkinmyheartandonthepage The Same Soul by KatinaMoon Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt You Better Let Somebody Love You (Before It’s Too Late) by ambivalentangst THE NAME YOUR RANSOM ONE but only hope and sorrows end by iron_spider Count my Heartbeats by KatinaMoon Did We Come Close To Having It All by for_the_night Extraction by Niniblack man in a can by jinxquickfoot Order Fulfillment by Sara (ctrsara) Return to me, the one I love so endlessly by SuperHeroTiger The Same Soul by KatinaMoon Very normal totally regular human intern by Winterturtle Worst Summer Vacation by mystercyclone THE SOMETIMES-HAPPY FAMILY ONE Are we out of the woods yet? by bluesweatshirt Happy Endings are Complicated by  MazeEternal Happy Hibernation Day by for_the_night i know that there’s a place for us by Madelinedear Ice Ice, Baby by OllieCollie Magic Makers by Sara (ctrsara) One in a Million by inkinmyheartandonthepage Post-Surgery Sleepover by Sara (ctrsara) The Best Thanksgiving Ever by Niniblack Try, Try Again by mak5258 THE ONE THAT MADE YOU LOL Am I A Dying Man? by Odd_l Better Than I Was by Sara (ctrsara) Buttering Me Up by iron_spider Far Out by Bergen Hey Grandpa by iron_spider Instant Kill Mode by itsnt_it_pretty_to_think_so Papa-paparazzi by Niniblack The Grey Area by Lansfics7 Tony Stark, Doctor (Prompt 21: Famous Last Words) by ItsaPugThing Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Winterturtle THE WILD CARD STORY A Place to Call Home by for_the_night Can't Part the Sea, Can't Reach the Shore by forensicleaf Catch and Keep by Bergen How to Fire Your Intern Sixteen Times in Three Days by Bergen Men of Iron by spdrmain Mother May I by battybatzgirl Secret Identity? You Mean a Private Twitter Account? by villain_klaus Sirens in My Mind by OllieCollie The Cycle of Shame by Cheerios_me_lovely Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt Under The Advent Of Stars by GigiDoyle Whatever it Takes by RonnielByrne THE ONE THAT’S A WHOLE NEW WORLD A Pirate's Life For Us by Lbigreyhound13 Dear Fellow Traveler by SuperHeroTiger Do I Deserve This? by Peters12&3bros Golden Threads by Winterturtle Home is Where the Heart Is by SuperHeroTiger If These Wings Could Fly by For_The_Night So Many Things to Say by happyaspie Prince of the Forest by Tess_Moon The Silver Prince by Marialf2001 The Truth Is (Everyone Is Confused By Quantum Physics) by EvieFuller THE SERIES THAT SWEPT YOU AWAY Dear Fellow Traveler by SuperHeroTiger Fostering Hope by happyaspie From the Same Star Series by Sara (ctrsara) Heir Peter fics by OnlyForward Peter is a Precious Chickpea by Bergen Strands in the Rope by Sara (ctrsara) The Meaning of Inevitable by Mendeia The One Where Bucky Kidnapped Peter Stark as a Toddler by Niniblack These Words Written on my Wrist by KatinaMoon Wake up and smell the coffee by Bergen THE ONE THAT GAVE YOU ALL THE LOVE 5 times Tony Dealt With a Loopy Peter by for_the_night Do You Remember Forgetting? by Silverstar1 From My Weakness I Drew Strength by Mendeia I Know How Much You Love Surprises  by opal_earrings Not Your Peter Parker by Peters12&3bros Only Suckers Wear Scarves by Bergen Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt Tony Stark Finds Himself a Family (That Doesn't Suck) by youcancallmearrow Where There's Smoke by juiceontherocks Worst Summer Vacation by mysterycyclone THE ALL-TIME FAVORITE He Looks on Tempest by iron_spider Heir Peter fics by OnlyForward Identity Theft by KitCat992 More Peril in Thine Eye by iron_spider Prince of the Forest by Tess_Moon Roo-niverse (IronDad AU) by juiceontherocks Sins of the Fathers by geekymoviemom The Chasm Between by TheSleepingOwl The Ties That Bind Us by Winterturtle Turn Back the Clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea Visiting Hours by Sara (ctrsara) Who Says You Can't Go Home by peacockgirl THE 2021/2022 FAVORITE A different kind of heat by KatinaMoon but only hope and sorrows end by iron_spider Grief Has No Timeline by Sara (ctrsara) Long Story Short (It Was A Bad Time) Or AIs Don't Forget by peacockgirl Men of Iron by spdrman One of Those Weeks by juiceontherocks Peter Parker's home for wayward people and animals by Bergen Prince of the Forest by Tess_Moon Survivor's Guide to the Galaxy by fanfic1892 The Long Game by Niniblack These Webs We Weave by SpaceCowboysFromMars Through the Multiverse and what Peter Found There by unctrlablyalt

#Irondad Creator Awards #Irondad Creator Awards 2023 #Iron Man #irondad #Irondad and Spiderson #spider-man #fanfic #fandom awards

[oscconfessions]

I'm honestly so sad they didn't delve deeper into Pen's relationship with Eraser...

His worst fear would probably realistically be not having his friends around. Like he's been shown before to have pretty bad attachment issues. And it would have gotten worse when Eraser and TD had their thing going on bc Eraser clearly paid more attention to td than pen, which would have broken pens heart. Like think about it how pen would:

He's been with Eraser (in any way you would like to interpret that) since the very beginning. 14 years!!! Now he suddenly has a new best friend? Ouch! Ouch Ouch! Owie! His worst fear is being alone. No Eraser. None of his friends around.

I get that book already HAD that happen to her in HER nightmare, but it would have fit perfectly for pen. And given him more character development! Everyone complains about how pen is boring, well, that episode would have been perfect to develop him and make him not boring! They wasted so much potential with him istg

(If you've been keeping up with rbs [whether that be mine or oscconfessions'] you probably already know who I am. But don't say it)

.

#confession #/bfdi #/bfdi/pen #/bfdi/eraser

[giggly-squiggily]

ahhh gotta be quick with demon slayer before it fills up haha

SANEGIYU ANGST. because i just know that at some point sanemi was tired or distracted or smth like that and called giyu kanae. and while the horror of what just happened settles into his chest and he starts apologizing, giyu just looks him dead in the eye and says with an ever so slight tremble to his voice: "it's okay, sabito."

OOF. Ouch, owie! This one hurt! My heart is broken, be right back gonna go wallow in Sanegiyuu fluff *dives in*

CW: Mentions of death, mentions of blood

“Thanks, Kanae.”

And just like that- everything collapsed.

~~ Soft black hair all down her back. The smell of Peonies as she moved. Her smile- radiant and unyielding even in the face of his rage. Butterfly clips that held back her hair as she tended to his bleeding arms.

“You’re gonna bleed out one day, Shinazugawa.” She chided softly, her voice like bells.

“Good. Maybe I’ll bring all the demons to me when I die.” He shrugged, wincing when she pinched his bicep. “Ow, the hell?”

“Don’t talk like that.” Her voice took on a rare edge, and when she looked up, pale lilac eyes held a hard glare. “Never say that again.”

“Jeez, calm down.” Sanemi sighed, even as he felt himself give in. “It’s not like it’s not a possibility. We’re Hashira. We’re bound to die young.”

“Maybe. Still, don’t speak of your death so easily. There’s always someone who’ll be hurt by it.” Her expression softened, something sad in her gaze. “I’m rather fond of you. I’d rather not hear from your crow of your untimely demise.”

Sanemi had nothing to say to that, only watching as she tied off the bandage around his arm.

~~

Sanemi’s chest twisted, the name on his tongue so familiar and so achingly heavy. He missed her. He missed her gentle touch, her soft voice, the way she never failed to make his heart race like-

Like…

Oh dear god.

He twisted around, eyes widening as they fell upon an unreadable Giyu. GIyu, his boyfriend.

Giyu, the person he’s supposed to love.

Giyu, whose heart he just shattered.

“Giyu…I’m so sorry…” Sanemi whispered out, his voice too choked to speak any louder.

The Water Hashira seemed frozen, still as a statue. His expression was hidden in his bangs. Please. Sanemi begged internally. Please look up.

Giyu finally did, and his eyes…

Those eyes…

“It’s okay, Sabito.”

Sanemi didn’t hear him as he walked away.

He couldn’t hear anything anymore.

Send me a headcanon and character(s) and I'll write a short 300-500 word dabble for it!

#headcanons to dabbles #demon slayer #sanemi shinaguzawa #giyu tomioka #angst #sanegiyuu #mentions of Kanae #Mentioned SaneKane #I hurt writing this lols

[mitochondriencocktail]

1 and 11 for the Good Omens AU ♥️

YIPPEE!!!! Ah, Hellhound Bojan and Angel Jere <333 I promise they haven't been abandoned. Just a hiatus since we burnt ourselves out a bit going absolutely insane HAHA

What’s their love languages?

OUGH OK SO since in this fic, none of the tension has been broken yet, so it's a lot of building up and showing how they appreciate and love one another. And that has been really fun to play with because it's like... how do you layer that in naturally, you know? Make it feel believable that these people not only love each other, but are ACTIVELY falling in love with one another.

For Jere, definitely words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts. He's always been quick to compliment others, so to him, it's natural. But there's something about the way Bojan reacts so sheepishly, like he cannot fathom Jere's saying something nice to him, that makes Jere want to keep pouring on the praise. Hyping him up. Acts of service, again, something he's naturally inclined towards as an Angel. He wants to help others and that extends easily to Bojan who he realizes he wants more of. And for gifts... the gold necklace. Oh, my heart.

For Bojan, gifts, acts of service, and I'd say touch. The more comfortable he becomes, he definitely eases into and craves Jere's touches. They ground him, make him feel worthwhile. As for gifts, even though it's through theft at first, he does try to make amends with Jere by gifting him things, and acts of service... dog motif. He'd do anything if Jere asked him to, for better or worse.

And I think quality time is something they both want more of, but it's scary to be so vulnerable and ask for more, you know? Especially under the circumstances they're in. In an ideal world, they'd be able to set aside time without the pretense of 'hiding Bojan' or 'stopping Armageddon.'

11. What’s a song that describes their relationship? Or, what’s the song that they’ve deemed “their” song?

This is another AU with a MASSIVE playlist, so I've selected a few that I feel fit best

Kind of like how in Good Omens, they have Queen as their band, we sorta made The Beatles the equivalent of that, so obligatory:

Who am I without a dog motif:

and when this song dropped we went insane at the lyrics:

This just made me soooooo sappy over them. Thank you for these <333 It sorta reignited the deep love I have for these versions of them oof owie my heart

#bojere

[itty-bitty-mess]

TW: BITTYBONES AB//USE, BITTY WHUMP, BITTY T*RT//URE

extra tw: forced abortion

Little Baby Blue was so excited to show Daddy his pregnant belly!! He was sure Daddy would be as happy as him about the pregnancy and even be glad to take care of him and his future babies!!

Baby Blue had not listened to Daddy’s warnings about not sneaking out and having “special huggies” with stray bitties and Baby Blue didn’t care!! Daddy was a dummy who didn’t know anything!!! Baby Blue had babies now!! Hooray!! He had counted and found out there were 3 little soul hearts on his belly!!!! 3 times the fun!!!

Baby Blue was so excited!! He, his babies and Daddy would play together and have so much fun!! Daddy would feed him and his babies, give them warm baths and tuck them all into bed!! Daddy would take care of his babies like he did with Baby Blue!!! It was going to be perfect!!!

Except that when Baby Blue dragged Daddy’s hand to his belly to show him his future babies, Daddy punched his belly so hard he could barely breathe for at least 2 minutes!! Ouchies!!

When Baby Blue recovered he realized that all the 3 little hearts in his belly were broken!!! OH NO!!! He started to cry and wail so loud!! The hearts in his belly were broken!!! His babies were dead!!! His belly was now empty!!! No more fun with babies!!!

Baby Blue’s crying was interrupted when Daddy grabbed him with a lot of force and then threw him all the way across the room as he hit the wall!! Owie! he broke some ribs and both his legs!!! Poor Baby Blue won’t be able to walk ever again!! No more “happy dancie parties” for him!! Daddy then grabbed Baby Blue again and forced him to drink bleach!! Yuck!!! Finally, Daddy tossed Baby Blue in the toilet and spat on his face, calling him a “useless piece of shit” and Baby Blue cried at that, Daddy had never been mean to him!!! He only wanted babies!!! He didn’t mean to make Daddy angry!!!

He apologized many many times and asked Daddy to take him to his warm bed and to give him a hug, pretty please!!! But Daddy just spat, on his mouth this time, and told him to “shut the fuck up”. Then Daddy closed the lid of the toilet and left Baby Blue alone, wet and in the dark. He soiled himself out of fear, like he always did!!

Suddenly, the toilet got flushed and poor Baby Blue spun around in the dirty whirling water, hitting his poor little skull multiple times until it cracked and bled as he got flushed completely and pushed through the dirty drain!! Yuckies!!!

No more warm baths, yummy food, hugs or kissies for Baby Blue!! No more fun toys, comfy clothes or cozy beds either!!! Looks like Baby Blue will be rotting in the dirty sewers where worthless shit like him belongs!!!! All because he refused to listen to Daddy’s warnings!

Goodnight, Baby Blue. You will not be missed!!!

The End!

#bittybones #bitty whump #bitty abuse #bitty bullying #bitty torture #baby blue #tw forced abortion #blueberry sans #underswap sans #us sans

[drustvar]

Doing that "what color is your love" quiz and Rosie, as I expected, got Warm Burnt Orange

"Riding off into the sunset, the hope of a happy ending, the bitter after taste that still in it's own way smells kinda great. Your love is all bitter hopefulness, all about a broken heart that refuses to quit, all about the unshakable knowledge that a burning fire has a great comforting warm and a soft glowing light, all about the way when the sun comes down there's a beautiful starry night. It's stubbornness, it's the refusal to give up, the clutching of broken shards despite the searing pain and being adamant that dammit you can still make a beautiful stained glass window out of it. Yours is a screaming heart, a pleading love, a bitter and almost belligerent hopefulness that things will still work out even if you have to roll up your sleeves and make them. And god, aren't you tired? Isn't your heart heavy? Is all your hard work worth it? Don't you just want to curl up and let it be? Let the fire turn to ashes and the sky turn dark and let love die down and watch people leave? But you don't, do you? You're the bravest out of all of us, so you pick up the pieces and you keep going, you keep believing and you keep your heart full of hope because some day. Some day you know you'll get it. You keep riding off into the sunset and you keep filling my heart with hope as you go because god, how do I wish you finally get it too." :") owie

#save #ramblings #doing it for Yew next #Rosie

[wooahaes]

so i got tagged again by both @bfwonu and @twogyuu sooo....

game: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.

aight buckle up. this is gonna be long. (also ft some fics that i didnt talk about last time, this list has changed a little i promise)

sick fic where reader gets taken care of by felix

lost & found

songbird

uts wz

flower fics sequels svt edition

seok uts

five shots sequel (wonwoo edition)

untitled hoshi fic (inexperienced at love!reader, ft bestie!gyu)

cheollie plot for uts

svt reactions - ldr

uts shua

owie period (wz)

uts gyu

yoshi fic bc i miss writing soft shit for him

hannie but under da sun

ww **uts but i didnt mention it in the file**

svt (video game) streamer!so hcs

uts poly edition [4] / shadow

modern sequel cindy fic

ldr meeting parents for the first time fic w parental abuse victim reader **slight vent fic jsyk**

comforting bc fic w chubby!fem!reader

touch starved bitches!! (svt edition)

single dad chan time

untitled vn fic **chubby!fem!reader, multi-part, vaguely spoken about here before, sequel to en/lhc**

asahi college au where he has a reputation on campus of being a heartbreaker bc he’s rejected every single person who’s confessed to him, all bc he’s in love with you (his bestie)

seungkwan being a clingy drunk (requested)

mutual bad mood night w b*ng ch*n

trsr realizing they love you

zinnias

sorry for the chan angst **bang chan btw not dino**

jj: one-sided enemies 2 lovers

broken hearts club

bc soulmate au (tattoos)

idk but its hot inspired

mg: sweet night [plans]

shared college universe dk fic

sugar daddy gyu (but like. in a friendship way)

svt - when i grow up

boy w love (ysh)

thats almost 40. i purposefully left off a couple last time lol sorry

im not even gonna tag anyone this time tbh if you wanna do it and say i tagged u, feel free to <3

#wooahaes.tag

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

the way that dear john, wouldve couldve shouldve, and bigger than the whole sky are written and all fit together is something so beautiful and heartbreaking and all of them are so beautifully and painfully written it's just owie

I know anon!!! God I fucking know!!!!!!!!!

The fact that dear john ends and bigger than the whole sky literally picks up where she left off is devastating to me. The fact that the sequel to dear john is a song in which she has internalized the slut shaming and victim blaming she experienced for realizing dear john breaks my fucking heart.

You can tell how bold and confident she was in herself before dear john was released and how different she is in bigger than the whole sky. Like even the lyrics she put in dear john, some of them are angry as fuck even hiding behind the sadness.

"Don't you think I was too young to be messed with"

"I see it all now I was wrong"

"It's you and your sick need to give love then take it away"

Vs

"No words appear before me in the aftermath"

"Salt streams out my eyes into my ears"

"It's all over now, all out to sea"

"Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness"

"So I'll say words I don't believe" (like what... she's speaking to herself... words like "you weren't to blame" "it's not your fault" "I'm sorry" "i forgive you" or even "I love you" come to mind... all of them heartwrenching)

It makes me feral whenever I think about it for too long.

And then we get would've could've should've which is the angriest and most self righteous of the three song but even while she is holding him accountable, she is still blaming herself way more than she should. I mean the whole song is about what she would have done differently if he had done things differently but they're tied together because she still blames herself in part and that much is clear

"I regret you all the time" I mean!!!!!

Idk this trilogy... I know I asked for it but I don't know if I really deserved it tbh. Because wow, a masterpiece but wow how heartbreaking it is to know how broken inside she was because of that piece of shit groomer asshole and this cunty society.

#anon love #would've could've should've #bigger than the whole sky #dear john #midnights #speak now #taylor swift #song analysis #ask and you shall receive

[toastythetoasterrr]

first victim is this thing

Ace

Love him

So he's like

Mr issues mcgee like god he is messed up

on one hand he just seems rlly awkward and bad at ppl when they're not alr his friends and that's true but also his entire sense of self-worth is sorta kinda based on if he can keep his friends safe which he's good at when it's Joe Averageson's evil twin attacking them but when it's the TIME POLICE, which HATE these guys bc they're time travelers, he's obviously not rlly able to pull through

but he's kept them ALIVE so he's not lying on the ground and letting the earth reclaim his tired bones just yet and he's gonna keep fussing over them (out loud or not)

also he's dead like super dead really dead obnoxiously dead but I'll get to that in a second ok

he loooves swords so much you could keep him distracted for hours just by asking him about swords

he loves them to the point that he used to be a swordsmith!! he was technically a weaponsmith but you'd have to pay extra for him to SPECIALLY CRAFT you a weapon that wasn't a sword

he was doing SUPER SWAG at his job and making swords with the weird time travel watch his dad (he has happy, loving, living parents I'm not a MONSTER) UNTIL... spooky monster???? he died like a lot... and he'll very rarely drop the fact that he remembers each one vividly..

at some point he was like "OK heck this I'm not gonna loop it unless everyone dies" And only the monster died but he lost an eye owie..

he left not long after that and was like "man this is a long dream" until he bumped into a griffin guy who's also a time traveler named Ollie and they became friends :)

they also picked up a guy named Graham and then- oh dang ace lost an arm too but when he woke up... mysterious prosthetic???

insert time skip here

oh no gray's evil (or is he?) and while ace and ollie r trying to skedaddle ace sniffs a flower (totally harmless.)

ace and ollie get a- god DANG it gray leave them alone and oh no he's actually possessed he's not evil

and eventually he sacrifices himself but good thing when this jerk Roy messed up aces wrist and broke his watch and swords ace and ollie met The Doctor (aka the only medical doctor in the whole island their name is colorpop) so they take the half dead gray to colorpop and yayyyy he'll live all is well

Lollll wrong

the guy who was possessing gray tries to come back to either possess ollie or ace this time and ollie sacrifices himself, losing his memory and teleporting him and the evil guy (named xenos) to a random spot on the island

Ace is like, "wuh... I gotta go find ollie I can't take gray with me he's still half dead" and goes to tell gray what happened and gives him his broken swords and leaves

hey remember that flower I mentioned it wasn't harmless I was a liar and ace is dying.. ehe

he finds ollie and is like "Hey find gray I literally just felt my heart stop give him my hat he'll know I dead then I was ur friend btw" and DIES....

ensue ollie having no idea what's going on and STILL getting trauma while ace meets his biggest fan, a small child, in the void

Ace is like "oh dang I'd be terrible company for eternity" and rips out of the void for the small child and finds his friends again yaaay

they get attack by time popo right after ace hits ollie with da Recap Episode

and so they go 2 colorpop's again and pick up ace's cousin and her gf so ace can teach her to Sword.

and that's where the storyline ends 4 now

#oc #yapping #get therapy gosh

[marsduality]

TikTok by @Relationship_anarchy, In response to the comment: "so jarring to me. I feel betrayed, and the hurt is so deep. Any advice for how to move forward when you feel your partner's carelessness in a (3)"

[beginning of transcript]

So if courage is required for intimacy, what happens when you do take that risk and it doesn't work out for you and you get your heart crushed into pieces? How do you recover?

Well let me tell you, I am actually an expert in getting my heart crushed into pieces. So if you're looking at my life and you're like "how do I get me some of that?" This is the path, my friend, it's not like, all rainbows and butterflies.

For myself, when I give somebody my trust and I show up vulnerably and authentically, and they end up hurting my feelings, or breaking my heart, or breaking that trust, or whatever happens that ruptures relationships - the natural place, immediately that you go after that is like "I will never love again."

I mean it's like a way for your body to protect itself - its an act of self love to have these defense mechanisms. If you get hurt you're gonna wanna adjust and make sure you don't get hurt again. It's natural.

The thing is, you don't want it to get in the way from you actually authentically connecting with folks because what happens is this pattern - it happens one time, just one time you get your heart broken (everybody gets their heart broken, its a normal every-day experience) - it happens one time and then uh, your walls go up. But then when your walls are up, like how are you supposed to find that authentic connection with someone, you know?

So yes, what is guaranteed is that you are staying protected but what is also guaranteed is that you don't even have the possibility of like getting that deep authentic connection that you're craving.

Okay, so then like how do you reprogram the mind or how do you take that step into what feels like a very dangerous territory. So that you can actually get what you want, which is like this deep authentic intimacy. There is no other way to say this my friends, it is a spiritual path. [laughs] For me it's been a practice of surrender and impermanence. Knowing that nothing is guaranteed, no outcomes are guaranteed, I'm not trying to latch on to a particular outcome. I'm aware that when I take a risk, it's gonna unfold as it unfolds. And I can't predict the future. I am such an open book, as you can see, and I have had my heart crushed a million times. But each time I let myself feel my feelings. I'm like "damn this hurts so bad - like owie owie owie - attachment wound, oww"

If you resist the feelings, or if you resist what is, or if you're dwelling on the past, or if you're dwelling on "what did I do wrong? whats wrong with me?" you're actually just gonna be stuck in the same place and it's not getting you towards what you want. You gotta process those feels and move on. And it takes time, it's not like an overnight process. Part of developing Secure Attachment is having a whole list of things that you know to do to help yourself emotionally regulate.

[end transcript]

#Attachment style stuff #Intimacy #Heartbreak #relationship_anarchy

[damagcdsouls]

@ofsweetness asked: so- this turned into more of a drabble than i was initially planning but hey it sure is painful, so that's on the mark at least. you're welcome and i'm sorry in advance. i also hope it's not too horribly ooc.

death tw; hospital tw; pregnancy complications tw.

no one had seen this coming. no one could have seen this coming. the complications were sudden, the results a statistic that was supposed to be low. just not low enough as it turns out. but as the hospital room emptied, her moms led away by ricky's dad, the previously steady beeping of the heart rate monitor gone silent, the only sound was the scribbling of the nurse on paperwork, and the cries of a newborn being attended to by another doctor.

they hadn't left ricky truly alone with her, but this was as close to alone as they'd been since the sound of alarms. but she was gone. they'd known even when they'd done their best to perform cpr that it was over. but he clearly hadn't given up. from the look mike had given through the window, it wasn't clear if he had yet accepted it still. if nini were able, she would've squeezed his hand, the one he still hadn't dropped from hers. she would tell him he has to move on now. has a son and now a daughter to look after too, the crying infant getting the drops put in her eyes, deep brown like nini's own.

"mister bowen, i know there is truly no good time to ask this, but did you have a name chosen for her? we need to fill out the birth certificate." she won't bring up the fact that they've moved on to this question because she's now finished the death certificate. what a sombering moment indeed. the circle of life in this very room. at least they saved the baby. even if not her mother.

they did have a name picked out, they were going to call her skylar, one of the names from that list they'd made around the time they got married. nini had been so excited to have their second child, and to find out they were having a girl. now ricky was going to have to do this without his wife. and while they had agreed upon the name, and a middle name too, he didn't know if it was all exactly right anymore.

none of this was right. he shouldn't have to raise their children alone. he shouldn't have to live a single day without nini. without the love of his life. she had told him before that their kids were a way of giving some of their love back into the world. so of course she'd left him their daughter as her last act of love towards him. she was a good mom, a great mom, and she'd always told him he was an amazing father to their son. but without her help, without her reassurance, he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"i can come back in a few minutes after i file this." referencing the other dreaded piece of paperwork, but he won't acknowledge that so long as the nurse doesn't. it's not like he's ready to. "would you like to hold her?" referring to the baby. their baby. the baby nini had only gotten to hold a few moments before everything turned to chaos.

he almost can't, can't do this without her. they were partners. the perfect team. but nini would tell him he could. remind him of the support he had in their friends- in their family. so he nods, wiping away his tears as he takes the infant in his arms. "your mommy was so happy to meet you. and daddy promises he is too... it's just not how i expected things to happen today, that's all."

his eyes are red and puffy, and its obvious he's been crying, but as he sees those eyes, nini's eyes staring back up at him but from that tiny little baby wrapped in a blanket, he calls back to the nurse who's about to walk out the door.

he knows what he's going to name her.

( you have all of one ask to completely shatter my character )

yeah okay so - richard michael bowen is completely broken, shattered, on the floor. he’s going to go in a corner and cry now. BUT ow ow owie ow ouch. my heart. i’m a tiny little sad planet and gods this hurt.

#( mun answers ) #ofsweetness #death tw #hospital tw #pregnancy complications tw #( save )

[kanao-kyun]

Hello! I read your professor and student work of yours and I really loved it! May i request that for shinichiro, wakasa and south? (it's okay if you don't write for him! You can skip) thank you so much, I hope you have a pleasant day/night to spend. 💕

Characters: professor! Shinichiro Sano/Wakasa Imaushi/South Terano x Student Reader

Tw: Age gap, student x teacher relationship, toxic! Wakasa, fucking in school uniform, rough fucking on South's part, mentions of pregnancy, breeding kink, manipulative behavior, mention virginity loss, stalkish behavior on south's part

Synopsis: You are his favorite lil student, and he'll do anything to make you stay.

a/n: Part 1. Sorry if Wakasa's part seems short :(

Wakasa Imaushi

Waka sensei is the most popular teacher in your academy. The female population in the school lust for him, but he only has eyes for his favorite student: you. Unlike Taiju, he passes you no matter how bad you fail on quizzes or tests because you do nothing wrong to him! You are his favorite for a reason! But sometimes, your bratty behavior can get in the way of your studies~

"T-Too much sensei!" Your squeaky voice echoed in the classroom. You grip the desk as if your life depended on it. "Stop complaining," your sensei took another long lick at your soaping cunt, making you gasp, "I know you can take it." His droopy lilac eyes bore into your teary face, looking satisfied at the broken state.

"But it's too- AH!" a harsh slap at your clit made you cry even harder. Your choked-up sobs make your favorite teacher hard with each slap, "kitten, why do you insist on talking back?" with a soothing voice, he rubs your pulsing clit in circles, making your hips buck up with need.

"Mmm...I don't know!" You begin to whine but soon stop when Waka sensei grips your jaw, forcing you to look down at his messy face. Your sweet essence dripping down on his chin, his eyes clouded with lust.

"I think you do know, kitten. I think you do this for my attention, right?" He slowly enters two fingers into you, "you hate it when I give the other female students attention, right?"

You hate it. You hate how Waka sensei can read your mind like a book. Yes, you do hate it when he flirts with other female students, and you damn well know he does it to get a rise out of you. Touching and smiling at the others while he gives you the cold shoulder during class.

How is that fair? You are his favorite; everybody knows that!

"Don't worry, Kitten," his voice takes you out of your trance. Standing up, he unbuckles his belt, staring at you with a new type of hunger.

"Let me take care of you~."

South Terano

You always feel like someone's watching you, but you just shake it off as being tired from school. But the feeling gets stronger each day to the point where you're scared to walk home alone. Your suspicions are proven when you discover that your favorite sets of bras and panties are missing! Including other trinkets, you use them daily. So who do you confined in? Why, Mr. Terano, of course!

"Jesus, stop squeezing me so tight!" The animalistic growl makes your heart race even faster than the thrust of Mr. Terano's hips. You didn't know how you ended up like this. You went to Mr. Terano to talk about your stalker problem. Still, before you could say anything, one thing led to another. Your back is on the wall, legs trying to wrap around your teacher's muscular waist as he fucks you brutally backstage in the auditorium.

"I-I can't Mr. T-Terano!" Your shaky moans mixed with the soft tone of music in the background make his dark impulses spin out of control. He wants to have his instincts take over, show you how much he wants you to be his, but in fear of scaring you, he keeps it under wraps; Tonight, it's about taking care of your needs.

"Shhh... I'm going to make you forget all about that stalker of yours, mi amore~" South bit the side of your neck, making you whine.

Wait. You didn't say anything about a stalker...

"How did you know about- Owie!" A shock of pain from your waist made your mouth shut immediately. South's nails dig into your soft flesh, hoping to leave crescent-shaped marks tomorrow. "Be quiet, angel; we don't want the music to be spoiled, now do we?" The sickening whisper in your ear set off red flags, but you ignored it.

His trust became sloppy, reaching his limit. Your stomach turns at the thought of him breeding you to the brim. "Cum inside..." your timid whispers were heard, "huh? you want to be a mommy already?" He angles his hips right to get deeper into your womb.

"Yess, yes, YES! I want to be a mommy South!" Your begging was music to his ears. If you want to be a mommy, he'll make you a mommy. He'll take care of you and his child. He'll be a great father and husband despite the apparent age gap.

The image of your stomach swollen with his seed made his hips snap, his warm cum filling you up, your silent cries and your nails raking his back gave him an absolute pleasure.

the tall man gently puts you down, only to fall forward; it's a good thing Mr. Terano is here to help you. "Don't push yourself, angel; let me take you home." He offered, picking you up in bridal style.

You hummed, your tiredness catching up to you. But then you thought...

How does he know where I live? 

Shinichiro Sano

Sano sensei is famous when it comes to the care of his students. His charisma and humble nature catch the heart of his pupils and seniors, and that includes you too. Your innocent doe eyes widen in excitement whenever he comes around, making the young teacher blush. You have no idea what you are doing to him. or maybe you do~

"does it feel good, sensei?" You tilt your head ever so innocently, but Shinichiro can see the evil glint in your sparkly eyes. "No need to keep asking, princess; you always do well for your sensei~" A moan hits the back of his throat as you go back to sucking on the swollen red tip of your sensei's pretty cock.

"You taste sweet, but bitter too~" You giggle to yourself, licking the slit of precum. You were always so observant, which is why you attracted Shinichiro so much. "You have a smart mouth on you, huh," The young teacher cress your cheeks before tangling his long slender fingers into your h/c hair.

"Isn't that why you love me?" You come back with a sad fake smile on your glossy lips. Of course, he loves you! how can you ask such a ridiculous question? "Of course I do, princess," his sweet smile melts your heart, "do you love me?" he shoots the question back, already knowing the answer.

"I love you more than my parents." You bluntly said before taking your lover's pretty cock back into your mouth. Shinichiro's breath hitched, gripping the back of your head roughly. Little minx. The way your tongue swirls around his length, tiny manicure hands pumping his cock sensually.

But all Shinichiro could think about was your declaration of love for him. Something about your answer made his eyes darken in absolute lust. He loves you, and you love him; people may look at it as though he is taking advantage of him, but what matters is how you look at him.

"Just like that princess, keep going." The fast pace of your hand does wonders on his cock as you devour every drop of the bitter-sweet cum. With the sweet praises, your ego shoots up in the air. You didn't care if anyone walked in the classroom right now; you just wanted to please your sensei. Your lover.

"Anything for you, Shin-chan~."

© 2022 kanao-kyun

#tokyo revengers #smut #wakasa imaushi smut #shinichiro sano smut #south terano smut #tokyo revengers x reader #black dragons #tokyo revengers smut #shinichiro x reader #wakasa x reader #South x reader

[glazelilyy]

Imagine if Genshin dads met their child, full grown from a bad future where the abyss order wins(like fire emblem awakening future children) and their first meeting is bumping into a cloaked figure who fought real well but had two dead visions??(one is dad’s other was mom’s)and the other tragic keepsake their kid kept for example Xiao or Childe’s broken mask and they realize that their kid watched them die and they spent the rest of their life alone and time traveled to set things right

oooh i'm not very knowledgeable about fire emblem but that concept sounds very cool!! (and very sad owie-)

characters like xiao and childe probably couldn't bear to watch that image of their child (a being that's supposed to be pure and untainted by the wretchedness of the world) hold onto a symbol of their carnage (xiao wears his mask when he goes sicko mode, childe wears his mask when he assumes his foul legacy form). it'd absolutely break their hearts :(((

#sincerely: the stars—☆ #from my beloved anon—☆ #give these dads some hugs :(

[kyberheart]

A Deceitful Creation Part #2 - Wolffe x F!Reader

PART #1

Summary: Echo is gone, and you can’t help but fall apart in his absence. Wolffe steps up, trying his best to mend your broken heart. Will you ever find peace again? Is it hiding somewhere in the commander’s stone heart? Only time will tell.

Warnings: 18+, smut, pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage, intense inner turmoil/depression, mentions of infidelity, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v sex, swearing

Word Count: 7982

A/N: 🙃.......oof ouch owie. You asked for this. If I don’t get at least ONE person saying FUCK YOU! (affectionate) I may as well hang up my typing fingers. There will be a part #3. Lemme know how it goes in there.

(Ao3 Link if ya want it)

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You couldn’t tell what hurt most. Losing Echo, or the miscarriage that soon followed.

When you had gotten the news that Echo was gone, so too was your heart. It had shaken, groaned, then shattered to a million pieces right there in your living room. The comms static was the crescendo to your pitifully sinful existence.

It’s Anakin…You there? I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but…

You knew it was payback, karma, something the Maker themselves bestowed upon you. Their wrath had wrought only suffering and pain into your battered body. The doctors had run test after test after test. They said it was normal to lose something so precious. That it just wasn’t the right time, that you were perfectly fine and you could try again in a few weeks. A few weeks? Perfectly fine? Even a few lifetimes would not be enough time to slough the sadness from your skin. It was also VERY apparent you were not in the slightest bit fine. The crystal of your eyes was now perpetually dulled by a ruddy concoction of strife and anger.

No, please, no more. Was it not enough you had just lost Echo? Now too, the life in which you bore was but lost to the universe. You felt as though you were stepping on clouds, wandering the ether of neither here nor there. A terrible fate only the wholly corrupted and vile have ever endured. Maybe you were marked from the beginning, when you came into the vast expanse of space wailing to the stars who could not love you, who you did not deserve. Stars that were unmistakably Echo and the child you lost.

Your body is nothing but a husk of hazy memories and grief so gut-wrenchingly deep you were sure the ground beneath you would open up and swallow you whole. The blankets and sheets adorning your bed disgusted you. You had yet to wash them for fear of losing the faint scent of Echo on them. However, in your selfishness, Wolffe’s smell was also there right alongside Echo’s. It haunted you how they intermingled, and yet Wolffe’s permeated every inch of you. His smell won in the end, and you hastily bundled the offending fabric and washed it at least ten times over. Even this tiny inkling of Echo had been wiped away and replaced with him. Another reminder of your insolence. What a nightmare, the absolute visage of torture from beyond the veil.

Wolffe was the first to breech your doorway after the accident. You had confessed through tear-ridden sobs that you were pregnant. His shock was palpable, and in the aftermath of it all he too succumbed to the anguish of the truth. You couldn’t tell where his tears ended and yours began. He held you, cooked for you and took care of you into the wee hours of the morning. Invisible shackles chained you to the bed as you rode the waves of misery and despair. You told no one else of your pregnancy for fear of hurting anyone more than they already had been. How could you? You were the one who did the horrendous deed, so you would be the one to bear the burden for all eternity.

--------------------

As the days wore on, you had many other visitors. Padmé, Ahsoka, a slew of Jedi masters, heck even a couple of random clones you’d never met before came sulking through your doorway to offer their condolences. Wolffe was on high alert when someone else was over, mostly as a means to keep you guarded. No one paid him any mind, nor did they ask why he was suddenly so clingy after Echo’s passing. It was as if he wasn’t even there when they would come to your bedside.

Rex’ visit was the only one you really remembered out of the litany of people who came to you. It was only because he had come alone, and with a super-special gift.

“I-I’m s-sorry for your loss Miss. I uh… I thought you’d like something to remember him by. I know it’s not much but— well. Here.”

Rex places something next to you, a small cardboard box with Echo’s name hastily scribbled on the top. You were still perpetually melded to your mattress, but this present intrigued you enough to sit up. He nods as you pry the cover from it. A pair of Echo’s blacks were stuffed inside. He had secretly stolen them from the barracks. The smell of him wafts to your nose, a mix of earthy zest and blaster smoke. The sweetness of it mends a little piece of your heart that had been lost. Without a second thought, your hands shoot up to grab at Rex’ chestplate, wrenching him down towards you. You kiss him on the mouth so hard he forgets how to breathe. When you release him, he sputters nervously. He’s flushed so bright he could have lit up a darkened room.

“W-w-… uh… well, you’re welcome? Heh. I hope it helps. If you need anything please don’t hesitate to comm me. Anakin also said to comm him too. I mean… if you need anything from him. We’re all here for you. Echo loved you, so we love you. You’re our vod’ika…never forget that.”

He clears his throat as you rip the blacks from the confines of the box. With a sniffle you pull your shirt off to replace it with Echo’s. Rex makes a startled squeak, turning away to shield his eyes from your nakedness.

“This is… this is…”

The tears start to fall again, stinging and hot from your eyes. You can’t get the words out, but you don’t have to. Rex knows what you’re trying to tell him. He sits on the edge of the bed, grasping your hand in his, and allows you to sob into the balled-up blacks in your other hand. He leaves only when your tears have been drained and your body slacks with fatigue. One forehead kiss and a good tuck-in later, and he’s out the door to let you sleep off your bittersweet buzz.

--------------------

The walls around Wolffe’s heart start to crumble into dust with each pass through your doorway. It was routine now. He would come to your apartment almost every night to check on you, make you something to eat, and hold you until you cried yourself to sleep. When you miscarried he was the one who rushed you to the medbay. He held your hand as you wept into the crux of your arm on the examination table. It was him who carried you all the way back to your apartment swaddled in a quilt.

You would never know how deeply he chastised himself, how much he blamed himself for the loss… no, losses. Both of them. You would never know how many nights he spent awake in his bed, bitter thoughts wrapping his mind in the cobwebs of jealousy. Spiteful snarls that he would try to stifle while he fisted himself to completion to the memory of you beneath him. He yearned to whisk you away from Echo to keep you all to himself. The guilt of his intentions was a weighty blanket draped over his shoulders. If only Echo wasn’t in the picture… if only he could just disappear so he could make you his. ALL his. Forever. Oh, how his wish had been granted.

He became your rock in the festering hell that you called your life. When you couldn’t get out of bed, he would carry you wherever you needed to go. As you fought your depression and pain, he would ease your mind with his kindness. You were quick to find he was a natural caretaker. His gruff disposition was just a front to assert his dominance over the ones he lead. With you however, he didn’t have to keep up such a trivial act. He knew you’d appreciate his gentleness. To him, what else was there to uncover? What else was there for you to learn about him, other than the good of his deeds and the purity of his dedication to you?

You took it one day at a time. Slowly but surely you came out of your funk. Echo’s blacks made their way from your body, to under your pillow, your nightstand, and then in your closet in the little box Rex had given you so long ago. Little by little, the shattered remnants of your heart were put back together. One piece was replaced when Wolffe bought you your favorite chocolate. Another when he spent a whole day cleaning your apartment until it sparkled. 

Peeking through the jagged seams was a newer, gilded meaning to your life. It shone so brightly some days that you forgot what sadness tasted like and remembered how good joy tastes. Every day you drank in the love that Wolffe had an endless supply of. With cupped hands he would dip into the well of happiness to procure a shot of pure adoration, depositing it graciously into your awaiting mouth. Your mind was clearer and your body free. The final piece was replaced one chilly day, accompanied by wind so strong the windows rattled on their panes.

It was the day you fell in love with him.

He’d just gotten back from a long, grueling mission on some mucky swamp planet. You had been alone in your apartment for weeks awaiting his return. Thankfully it was less of a struggle to live without his help all the time now. You could cook, clean, and leave the apartment without slipping into a panic. In the fog of your mind, you realized you were as excited to see him as you were to see Echo when he would return to you. Your heart, freshly mended, was fluttering for him. Was this what it felt like to move on? To let go of someone, and seat someone else where their absence left you empty? As the clock strikes five, his hulking form enters your vicinity.

“I’ll be right there, give me two minutes.”

He removes his armor, grunting here and there as the mud-streaked pieces fall to the floor. You know he’ll most likely clean it up later. The way in which he rushes into your ‘fresher has you a bit worried. When he returns, towel wrapped around his waist and still dripping with water, you feel it. The final piece wiggles it’s way through your veins and lands perfectly in the center of your heart; you’d fallen in love.

“Sorry I took so long. Do you need anything? Food? Drink? Back rub? I’ll clean up my armor once you’re all set, so don’t worry about the mess. I’ll take care of it.”

He watches your face, and you smile for him. Possibly the first he’s seen in a long, long time. He was rushing so he could make sure you were alright. To make sure you were happy and looked after. Bits of caked-on mud still sticks to his calves and wrists. Kriff, he didn’t even shower properly as to hurry to your side. When you motion for him to come closer, he tilts his head. Relenting, he steps forward until his knees bump the edge of the bed. He moves with a stiffness you’re sure is from all the fighting and trekking he’s done, sore and tired. And yet… his first priority is to make sure YOU are okay. The selflessness in his actions softens your eyes and almost makes you cry.

“Come here.”

It’s a demand. A decree that you do not need to tell him twice, and yet he hesitates.

“I’m still soaked, hold on I’ll go dry off and—”

You don’t let him continue his rebuttal. You lean up, pulling him onto the bed. He groans as you man-handle him underneath you. He’s on his stomach, head resting on his crossed arms. You straddle his hips and begin to work the heel of your palms into the knots of his tense muscles. His eyes slip closed as he sighs contentedly.

“You always take care of me. Let ME take care of YOU.”

He says nothing, only sighing a bit louder when you press into his lower back. You work slowly and with as much tender care as you possibly can. The water on his skin falls in rivulets down to soak your sheets below. You work your hands over every part of him. Slowly but surely the coiled stiffness is cast from his aching body. A few minutes turns into an hour, and he begins to snore beneath you. You cover your mouth to buffer the giggles you let loose from your lungs. The noise wakes Wolffe, who chuckles under you. The thrum of it vibrates through your thighs all the way up to the top of your head.

“Hmmm? What was that? Did I hear someone laugh?!”

In a flourish he’s rolled you both over. He cages you underneath him, a smile on his face. You think you’d do anything to see him smile. In his own mind, Wolffe thinks he’d give his own life just to see you smile, to hear you giggle like that again. It had been so long since you were openly happy. He leans down to kiss you… but retracts with a tiny scowl. It was déjà vu in the worst sense. He hadn’t pushed you for anything more than a snuggle this whole time, but right now you were ready.

“I’m sorry. I’ll get dressed and make us some food. I’m sure you’re hungry.”

As he’s rolling off of you, you wrap your arms around his neck. He searches your face, not unlike the last time he did so. The last time being the catalyst to your downfall. In his eyes was a question. A question with an answer you didn’t have the heart to keep from him.

“Yes Wolffe… please… I’m ready to try again…” Your words have a thousand meanings, all of which are true. You’re ready for happiness, ready for love again, ready for sex, ready to try to create life again. With HIM this time, just him. He smiles again, stooping to kiss you. It’s rough and sloppy and exactly what you had hoped for. He allows you to take solace in his body tonight. Whatever you need, whatever you want he will give you without a shadow of doubt. If he could, he would pry open his ribs to nestle you within, safe from the newfound toil of everyday life. Wolffe knew you, every inch of you. You were his heart now. His everything.

His towel is thrown across the room, discarded with his pile of armor. You lift yourself so he can pull your shorts and underwear off in one fell swoop. He slides down the bed as you sit up to take your shirt off.

“Gonna show you how much I… how much I’ve wanted you mesh’la. Needed you…”

He hooks your thighs over his shoulders, plunging his searingly hot tongue through your folds. You fall back against the mattress with a yelp. He devours you, sucking your swollen clit into his mouth with such fervor your eyes roll into the back of your skull. His tongue lathes over your entrance before he presses a finger into you. It feels so good you can’t speak properly. He groans at your babbling, adding another finger impatiently.

“Shhh mesh’la, I got you. We’ll take care of each other tonight.”

He pumps his fingers into you harshly, scissoring them to prep you. The stretch makes you keen, and with one good suck you’re cumming on his face. Your fingers tangle through his cropped hair, pulling him flush against your pussy. He moans, removing his fingers to replace them with his tongue. He drinks from you like a man dying of thirst. When he lifts his head to look you in the eyes you melt. The shine of your juices on his chin and mouth is an intoxicating sight. He crawls up the bed, licking his lips as not to waste your heavenly taste on his tongue. One of his hands is placed squarely beside your head. The other lazily pumps his length, wet with precum.

“Are you sure?”

“Wolffe I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

His eyes darken. A smolder of possessiveness and lust mists over his features. You spread your legs wider, as wide as you can to coax him forward. He growls as his hands latch so tightly around your hips they may as well be a part of you. He may as well be a part of you now, with the way he’s entrapped your mangled heart. He flips you onto your stomach, then pulls your back up flush to his chest. He kneels behind you, rutting his cock against your sopping cunt. One hand stays firmly planted to your hip, the other cups your throat, lifting your chin to straighten your gaze.

“Kriff…. eyes UP mesh’la. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Oh.

You look up, eyes catching his in the mirror in the corner of your room. He smirks, bending to trace feather-light kisses down your neck to the edge of your shoulder. He’s all-encompassing behind you, hands acting as a literal tether to this plane of existence. Without his firm grip you’d be sure to ascend towards the stars. He drops his hand from your face to line himself up, bottoming out in one growling thrust. You scream, pitching forward with the aggression of it. He scoffs, catching your throat in his hand once more to press you back into his battle-scarred chest.

“Keep looking at me mesh’la. Watch me take what’s rightfully mine.”

He cants his hips upward, rocking you right along with him. In a flash of teeth and tongue he marks your shoulders and neck. The work he does to your skin is maddening. He can feel how your flesh hungers for him. From the slight tremble of your stomach to the shrill whines you can’t help but emit as he fucks up into you. His pace is borderline abusive. You knew he was holding back all those months ago… but this? This was a side of him you weren’t sure you’d ever get used to. You watch your tits bounce sharply upward with each thrust. His fingers are still clamped around your jaw to force you to watch in the mirror. You look so innocent under his blasphemous eyes; pupils like pinpricks in the velvet of his amber irises. He rakes his gaze over your body, eyes stopping to take in your twitching thighs. You can’t help but gasp at the sight of his cock disappearing between your legs with each thrust. His shaft shines so wondrously with your slick, making you groan with every sheathing press.

“Talk to me mesh’la, who’s…” He hisses, slapping your thigh when you clamp down around him. You don’t need him to finish his sentence. He wants you to fill your pretty little mouth with nothing but his name. To tamp out all the nights you were screaming someone else’s name into the nothingness of the room.

“Wolffe, Woooooolffe, AH—WOLFFE! More, I n-need more…”

Your wish is his command. Who would have thought? Someone like you commanding the ruthless, bloodthirsty commander Wolffe. You had him in the palm of your hand. Wrapped so tightly around your finger it would cut off the circulation. He would stop at nothing to give you anything and everything you want. No matter the cost.

“I got you… I got you… just don’t look away.”

He reaches down, pistoning within your tight walls as deep as he can go. You hold his wrists for support as he frantically circles your clit with his fingers. His name ricochets off the walls as your orgasm binds the two of you together. You find his eyes in the mirror as you squeeze his cock in the aftershocks of your bliss. A symphony of panting breaths and wet slaps is a sound you never thought you’d hear again. Not after… not after Echo. What a weird turn of events. Echo was now but an echo in your heart. Gone, but never forgotten. Forever bouncing within the confines of your psyche.

Wolffe slows and releases his bruising hold on you. You fall ungracefully forward onto the mattress. With a hum he flips you onto your back to grind himself back into you. You wrap your legs around his hips, whining as he bends to mark you as his own. Teeth marks cascade from your neck, down your shoulders and end with dark hickeys between your breasts. When he’s sure every scrap of skin is covered in his assault, he stills his hips to speak to you.

“I promise you, no matter what, I will protect you. I’m yours until my mind withers and my body has gone to its final resting place.”

You had never heard such passionate words from Wolffe before. When you search the recesses of your mind, you cannot come up with one moment you had shared where he sounded so natural. Its as if he was hiding his true self, sealing it away until he found the one. The one he would swear to defend and honor until his dying breath. His words, you realize, are a vow. In this moment you were equal parts flattered and pitying. Maybe this was another execution of the Makers ridicule.

You will ruin him just as you yourself are ruined. Tainted, fetid, diseased to the core of your spoiled soul. His love for you will know no bounds, and you will be forced to fall for someone who deserves more than a rotten excuse for a human being such as yourself. Maybe you deserve each other. That’s what you’ll keep telling yourself. Two broken people just trying to make it through this war-torn mess.  

When your face scrunches up and tears well at the corners of your eyes, he begins to snap his hips forward once more. His body shimmers under the lights, a healthy sheen of sweat covering him from head to toe. You look just as wrecked as he does, you’re sure. All wet and out of breath and dying for him to finally finish inside of you. Symbolically it’s a pact. One that will either be the most beautiful or the most grotesque thing you’ve ever been a part of.

“Close mesh’la, so close for you. I’m going to fill you up. Over and over again. Keep you leaking my seed for days…weeks… kriff months if you’ll let me. I’ll breed you so good you’ll never walk again…”

He sucks in a breath as he cums, painting your insides with a swath of his release. In a memorized motion he’s grabbing one of your pillows to rest under your hips, just as he did so long ago. Too long ago, you think. A time where nothing hurt and you weren’t so deranged. Wolffe hovers above you, a smile on his face to rival Echo’s. The warmth of it finally melts the dam of your tear-ducts. He shakes his head, nuzzling into your neck to breathe in your scent.

“Shhhh, I got you. I got you.”

You’ve always known he’s got you. He’s got your head, your heart, your love. Every fiber of your being belongs to him now. You cannot escape the barbs of his wire-ridden heart. If it takes years, centuries, a millennia, kriff until the suns crash together and all life dissipates into the void… you’ll unwrap it with bloodied hands and a smile on your face. Because you’re in it now. No going back, no holding back. You’re together. Forever.

He leans up off of you, pulling out to head to the ‘fresher. He washes up for real this time, laughing at the mud he had unknowingly missed in his mad dash to your aide. You lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Another shiver of déjà vu slides down your spine. Tears spill from your eyes as you sob quietly into the air. When Wolffe comes back, he frowns.

“Are you okay? Was I too rough?”

You shake your head, hiccupping as you reach out to him. He nods, climbing into bed with you once more. Wrapped snuggly around you, he coddles you to his chest as you weep. He doesn’t know exactly why you’re crying, but he knows it’s a good cry. A release of something greater than you and him.

You’re crying because…

You’ve finally let Echo go.

--------------------

Wolffe is true to his word. Whenever he can get his hands on you, you’re left a dripping pile of limbs on your bed. He doesn’t care how long it will take, he’s going to make you his. Parade you around with a belly full of a creation all his own. You don’t mind this arrangement one bit. When you let Echo go, you began to feel a lot better about your choices in life. You’d done something horrible, but what good does dwelling on the past do now? He was gone. You were going to honor him by having a child. You were going to name it after him too, somehow…

Work had contacted you a long time ago to let you know you’d be able to take as much time as you needed. With Wolffe occupying much more than just your time, it was hard for you to leave the apartment to do anything. You’d go back in due time, if you could ever get Wolffe’s dirty paws off you long enough. Work was admittedly the furthest thing from your mind right now. If you had to choose between getting laid whenever you wanted and shoving thermometers into people’s orifices all day, by the Stars you were going to pick getting laid. Every single time.

One morning, about a month after your reunion with Wolffe, something odd happens. It’s something that’s happened before. You need to pee all the time. Your nipples are sore. You’re feeling sick more often than not. If this is it, you’re sure as HELL not going to check. The knowledge that you’re pregnant again was enough to solidify your feelings. Don’t jinx it! You tell yourself. If you take the test, you’ll surely lose it again. Just go with the flow…

A few weeks go by and your condition gets progressively worse. You’re throwing up every morning, craving an odd mix of icecream and pickles, and sleeping on the couch more often than not. Wolffe asks you about it one day, reserved excitement in his voice.

“Mesh’la… are you… you know?” He raises his eyebrows, smirk on his lips.

“If I SAY it, it won’t be true. I’ll go to the medbay next week to check. Okay? Now help me with dinner, I’m starving.”

“Oh? Hmm, well, if you’re not sure then we still have something to do before dinner. Don’t we?”

You squeal as he chases you to the bedroom. Oh well, dinner can wait. There’s something a lot more filling on the menu tonight.

--------------------

The doctors visit goes very well. Wolffe, always the nosy worrying man, accompanies you to the visit.

“I’ll say, you’re about six weeks along! Do you want to hear the heartbeat? We can do an early ultrasound if you’re up to it. If not, I’ll schedule your first checkup a few weeks from now and we can do it then.”

Wolffe looks like he’s seen a ghost. You can’t stop laughing as you give the doctor the okay to search for the baby’s heartbeat. When the sound of a tiny whump fills your ears, Wolffe is the first to break down. Tears fall from his eyes, which he tries desperately to bat away with the back of his hand. You reach up, running your thumb over the scar under his eye.

“Wow. That’s our baby in there? I can’t wait to meet them… I hope it’s a boy.”

You laugh even harder, much to the doctors dismay. She asks you to stop jostling around so much, and you giggle into your hand.

“Sorry! First time parents. I’m sure you know how that goes.”

--------------------

Your first and second trimester go by without a hitch. You were already thirty weeks along and getting bigger by the day. When Wolffe is blessed enough to spend the whole night with you, he marvels at the size of your swollen belly when he wakes. You’ve caught him on more than one occasion with the blankets lifted and his hand on your tummy. He would say he needs the extra energy from the baby in the morning. Something about letting it kick his hand a few times gave him a high for the rest of the day. He would have been bragging about you to the others, but in all honesty you were trying your best to keep your relationship on the down-low. You were sure no one would really care, but some might find it in poor taste to be moving on from Echo and siring a child so soon after his death. And with one of his friends at that.

You shake the thoughts from your head. Of course they’d be happy. They’re always happy for you, no matter what you did. You were Echo’s pride and joy. You could do no wrong in their eyes. You deserved this. A happy life with someone who loved you. And with someone you…

“Mesh’la? You awake? I’m going out to get more of that icecream you like so much. It looks like someone ate the rest of it in the night. Wonder who did that…”

The teasing lilt of his voice makes your heart swell. He was always on top of stuff like that. Out of icecream? He’s off to pick some up. Can’t reach your datapad? He’s handing it to you. Can’t find your fuzzy socks? He’s scouring the laundry room for them. A doting partner, you knew he’d be the best father to your child. He would get so put out when you’d jokingly say: “I think I’m the first person to successfully domesticate a Wolffe!”

--------------------

He had been nervous at first about the real-world implications of a child. Though you had come to find out his worries were a little stupid.

“What?! You’re about to have a kid and your biggest worry is if Adi will be scared of your eye?!?” You’re hysterical, a fit of enthusiastic giggles bellowing from your mouth. Wolffe does NOT find it as funny as you do. You knew he was self-conscious about his scar, but this was too good not to laugh at!

“Of COURSE I am! A lot of people think it’s scary. Hold on… who’s Adi? You’ve named her already? Without me?” He pouts, crossing his arms over his chest. Ugh! With the way he acted sometimes you’d think you were going to have two children running around in a few months.

“Yeah, I did! Got a problem with it scary-eye?!” He reels back in mock astonishment at your words. Squinting his eyes, he walks you backward towards the bed.

“Scary-eye huh? I thought you were going to tell me it’s not so scary up close…” He bends forward to muffle his words against your neck. You moan, over-sensitive nerves jolting at the contact.

“It’s not! It makes you look handsome, grizzled, like you could kill someone with your bare hands. She’ll love it as much as I do!” He wraps you up in his arms, falling lightly to the mattress with you atop him. It’s a little uncomfortable, so he helps you sit up on his stomach. He beams up at you, dazzling in its splendor.

“How am I not hurting you right now? I’m like… a thousand pounds at least!” He threads your fingers together, running his thumb over your knuckles.

“You’re definitely not a thousand pounds. Two thousand more like it…” He snickers as you rip your hands out of his to smack his chest playfully. You feel a bit of a bulge against your ass and gasp.

“Really? First you insult me, and then you poke me in the ass with your hard-on? Unreal… I have half a mind to kick you out for the rest of the night.”

Wolffe sits up, sliding you lower to rut against your clothed center. He nips at your throat, blowing into your ear deliberately. You squeak, glaring at him as he tugs at your shirt.

“Hush now love, let me take care of you. I can’t help it when my riduur is on top of me. You’re even more beautiful carrying my child… so kriffing gorgeous.”

That night you allow him to show you just how beautiful he finds you. He treats your body like a temple, and his cock as his penance. The conversation is left unfinished, though you weren’t planning on telling him why you chose the name Adi for her. You had promised yourself it would be a name to honor Echo in some way. And what better name than the one he used when speaking about your child together?

Our little adi’ka… yeah…

--------------------

A comm wakes you from a deep sleep. Wolffe grumbles next to you, shifting to slap his hand groggily against the nightstand. When he can’t find it, he makes a noise of frustration. He stands, trudging to the pile of armor on the floor near the bedroom door. His vambrace twinkles to life as he walks out of the bedroom in an attempt to let you go back to sleep. You hear a voice blip over the relay, it sounds strained in an attempt to be as quiet as possible.

Wolffe? It’s Rex. Are you on base? It’s…. it’s Echo. He’s alive Wolffe. I have him here with me, and… kriff. He wants to see her. You’re with her right? We’ll be touching down in the morning at 0700, hangar bay two, spot fifteen. If you can… if she wants… yeah. I’ll let her decide.

Wolffe drops his vambrace noisily to the floor, head in his hands. You can’t believe your ears. Echo? ECHO IS ALIVE?! You jump from bed as fast as your bloated body can manage. Wolffe snaps his head towards you as you enter the living room, sorrowful eyes drilling into yours. You didn’t want to think too hard about how Rex knew he’d be with you.

“Mesh’la I’m—I—”

You fall into his arms. Crying in this moment would be a normal reaction, but all you can do is stand there mystified. How can he be alive? They had told you he was blown to smithereens defending a starship. Where had he been? You glance down at your stomach, realizing why Wolffe had looked so doomed in the early-morning luster of dawn. Echo is back. But you’re not the same person he once knew. He’s back and you’re gone.

You resolve then and there to meet him. See him. If only to make sure he’s alive with your own two eyes. Whatever happens after that happens. If he wants you back… well, you’d see how it all went down. Wolffe was skittish about the whole ordeal. He didn’t think seeing your long-lost soulmate was good for your health. You didn’t think anything in your life was good for your health. What was one more shock to the system?

The hours ticked on, taunting you in their slow march forward. You dressed and had a silent breakfast with Wolffe. Nothing much was eaten by you. Wolffe didn’t each much either, moping in his seat as you mentally steel yourself for the meeting. He dressed after breakfast, suiting up just in case he was needed after. The feeling of his armor fit snugly to his body made him feel much more prepared than he really was. Like the armor could hold him together as he fell apart inside.

You stand together in the hangar bay as other clones mingle about, awaiting their shuttles off world. Some waved to you, others stared with puzzled looks on their faces. Wolffe was quick to stare them down and shoo them away. At least he was good at keeping people from putting two and two together. When a silvery ship lands in spot fifteen, you turn your body away abruptly. Was this really what you wanted? Wolffe slips his hand in yours, squeezing a couple of times to remind you he’s not going anywhere.

And then you hear it.

Echo is approaching you from behind, and you can’t for the life of you turn around. You recognize his footsteps, you know them all too well. Memories come falling from the sky to cut into you like knives. They were his excited footfalls, the same sound you would hear when he’d come home. The same sound you’d hear when you’d surprise him on base, or when he’d see something that enticed him in a market stall, or…

STOP!

You can’t do this right now. Wolffe steps forward, a concerned knit in his brow. His stance is protective, shielding you from Echo’s sight. You guessed Wolffe didn’t immediately recognize Echo from the way he was reacting. This thought terrified you to your core. Was he that different?

Your feet shuffle slightly as you rotate. When you finally face him, his steps turn from excited to reserved. His eyes flicker with recognition, then confusion, and finally… finally when he sees the rounded jut of your stomach does he come to a dead stop. He flinches at the sight, like someone just dug their fingers into his chest to peel all the hope from his beating heart. He knows it’s not his baby.

You stare wide-eyed at the person in front of you; an amalgamation of machine, madness, and a touch of the man you loved. A scream threatens to ripple up your throat, but you clamp your mouth shut tight. Your teeth grind in protest against each other with the sheer force of it. His breath is shaky, lips parted in hushed wonder at the miracle before him. He looks dead. A corpse re-animated to strike the final, fatal blow to your fragile little body. The pallor of his cheeks, the sunken sockets that house his dark lifeless eyes, and his bones! How they poked from his iridescent skin like a baby chick about to hatch.

In some sick twisted fantasy you hoped your Echo would do just that; tear kicking and punching and screaming from within this spindly thing in front of you. He would shake off the tallow and blood from his fleshy cocoon with a smile, the crumpled heap of the man in front of you left discarded on the floor with a shake of his leg. He’d laugh and say something like ‘Hey mesh’la, I’m sorry I took so long to return to you. You look as lovely as ever!’ You wanted him, the real him back. If Wolffe was worried about your child’s reaction to his eye… you shuddered to think how Adi would react to Echo. This has to be a sick twisted joke. Maker be damned, you would search to the ends of space and time just to strangle the one responsible for your never-ending curse. You will never know true peace again.

“You’re…” Wolffe whispers, staring slack-jawed at Echo.

“…Echo.” You finish his sentence, hands instinctively laying atop your stomach as the baby starts to kick. Maybe it can feel him. His presence, his aura, his futile hope that you’d still be here waiting for him.

Rex catches up, smiling fondly at you before turning his attention to Wolffe.

“We found Echo here on Skako Minor. Awful place… he’s gonna hang out here a few days before getting discharged to clone force ninety-nine.”

Echo has stopped breathing. He can’t stop staring at your face. He’s trying to memorize your features. This is it. He knows you’re gone. You start to hyperventilate under his intensity, clutching your chest and stumbling back. Wolffe panics, scooping you up into his arms and all but runs to the medbay. Over his shoulder you watch Echo and Rex follow after you. He looks so hurt, so useless and angry. You can only hope it’s nothing directed at you.

--------------------

“Sooooooo… Wolffe huh?”

Echo is in your bedroom, prodding at all the new knickknacks Wolffe had picked up for you on his missions. A small Loth-cat plush catches his eye and he picks it up. He squeezes it a couple of times, using it as an excuse not to look at you. You sit up straighter against the headboard, pulling the blankets over you. You feel so bare right now, exposed and embarrassed of your stomach while he’s here.

“Y-yeah. I guess. I mean… yes.” You fumble over your words. His voice alone was enough to make you bristle. Over a year without him felt like a lifetime AND only a day at the same time. It was him, you knew. But the bolts in his head and the cold exoskeleton around his middle told you all you needed to know. He had gone through hell and back to return. And now he’s returned right back to HELL.

“That’s… nice. I’m glad you found someone after I ‘died’, hah. I was hoping for it… honestly! I was. I didn’t want you to be alone. I know how you get when I’m gone for longer than a few days. I mean… GOT! Got.” He cringes, scratching the back of his head. You know he should have stayed in the medbay when you were checked in for a panic attack. He was pushing himself just so he could attempt to catch up with you. Your heart starts to crack.

“I know… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry Echo. I mourned you so hard I thought I was dying. I don’t… I don’t know what to do…” You wring your hands out in front of you, biting your lip. He sighs, placing the plush back onto your dresser. Footsteps startle the two of you from your conversation. Wolffe shows up in the doorway, a plate of cookies in his hand.

“Do you uh… want anything? I brought some cookies.” He shrugs, eyes cast down towards his feet. Echo smiles, shaking his head somberly.

“Oh, thank you, but I think I should get going. I have a lot of… tests to go through I’m sure. You know how much they like to stick you with needles after every little scrape. Well, I’m sure I’m in for a whole lot of needles after THIS scrape.” He motions to his body, a goofy smile on his face.

You want to stop him, but you don’t say anything. You don’t laugh at his self-deprecating joke. You don’t walk him to the door. You don’t wave goodbye as he heads back down the hall towards the medbay. Instead, you sob into the blankets with a cookie in your hand and Wolffe at your side. You let him leave.

He wanted you to stop him. He wanted to tell you that you made him feel better AND worse at the same time. He wanted to scream, cry, throw hands with Wolffe for taking his whole life away from him at the drop of a hat. He wanted to tell you that the only reason he held on was a tiny voice in his brain that willed him to live. YOUR voice in his head egging him on, telling him it was all going to be okay in the end, just get through today. Over and over and over until someone comes to find him and save him from his eternal repetition. You let him leave. That was enough of an answer for him.

--------------------

You kick Wolffe out of your apartment that night. He understands, even if his eyes plead you to allow him to stay.

“I don’t think this is a good idea. You’re so far along… what if the stress…”

You turn, throwing a leftover cookie in his general direction. He winces as it makes contact with his chest to fall at his feet.

“STRESS? Stress is my only state of being Wolffe. It’s the only constant in my whole kriffing life, always has been and always WILL be. Shut up and get out!”

He nods, swiftly taking his helmet in his hands. You follow him to the door, watching him leave with his tail tucked between his legs.

“Mesh’la I… I love you.”

You blanch. This was exactly NOT the time you wanted to hear him say those three little words for the first time. He was using them as a means to an end, NOT to make you feel any better.

“Okay. I’ll comm you when I want you to come back.”

His breath catches in his throat at your nonchalance. He just said he loved you… but you didn’t say it back.

“Understood.”

He places his helmet onto his head, swiveling on his heel to walk down the hallway back to the common barracks. You weren’t sure when you’d be ready to see him again. Right now you didn’t feel ready for anything. What were you going to do now? Comm the medbay and ask for Echo to come back? Comm Wolffe and tell him you love him back? Curl up and die on your mattress from the soul-crushing weight of the decision?

In the end, the third option sounded the most plausible. Other than the dying part, of course. You start to sob, hormones raging through your body as Adi kicks your ribs.

“Hey kiddo. If my heart shatters again I’m gonna need you to keep kicking me. Just like that. You’ll be my new heartbeat, what do you say?”

You sniffle as you look down at your stomach, rubbing soothing circles over your navel. Your eyes travel timidly over to the closet. You know you shouldn’t do it. When did you ever NOT do something you shouldn’t? Do someone you shouldn’t?

You procure a stepstool from your kitchen, sobs getting louder and louder as you drag it to the bedroom. The closet light flickers to life as you step up and throw an arm towards the back of a shelf above your head. Your fingers catch on a dusty cardboard box, and you bring it down from it’s hiding place. The scribbled name of Echo on the top beguiles you, lulls you into a false sense of security. You find yourself wailing, sinking to the floor with the box in your lap. With shuddering breaths you pull his old blacks from their coffin, lifting them to inhale. They smell like musty fabric and betrayal…betrayal…BETRAYAL.

You tear your shirt off and pull the blacks over your head. The bottom hem catches, stretched to it’s limit over your rounded stomach. With a few tugs you try your best to get it over the curve with no success. It sits halfway over your bump, a failed attempt to be encased in Echo’s love one more time. For the second time a myriad of realizations hit you in the face. He will never be there to hold you close, kiss your tears away, or make you laugh so heartily like you used to. Even though he was literally less than a hundred feet away and more than willing to come back to you. You were sure you could never fess up to him. Could never tell him of the deceitful creation before Adi. It would break his heart like his death broke yours.

In the muted sanctuary of the night, on hands and knees, your heart shatters into a million pieces all over again.

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