#broken mind

[unafratanti]

This anxiety is so unbearable.. it feels like someone is stepping on my chest, crushing me. I feel so suffocated, breathing is hard, my head is in turmoil and my heart is racing like it's going to tear apart.

Am I to live like this, like a prisoner of my own mind? A cage from where I'm unable to escape... This anguish about living is maddening.

#e.s. #madness #bpd vent #bpd problems #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd #borderline personality disorder #disturbo borderline #maddening #broken mind #sadness #sad thoughts #anxiety #ansia #anxiety attack #anguish #anxiety desorder #this is unbearable #hurts #hurting #hurtful #suffering

[wixafix]

Tomarry - or maybe Harrymort?

Angst, hurt. (tw: suicidal ideation) I suppose graphic violence.

I don't know how to summarize this it's so chaotic. It's set in deathly Hallows when Harry has to give himself up to Voldemort. Also there more tweaks as in who's dead etc.

Blood and Sorrow

Harry bit his lip brutally as buried his hands in his hair, pulling it not really paying attention to the pain that should have been there. Snape's blood was still on his hands, stained and dried crumbling away into his hair. Viciously blinking away tears as a choked sob wracked him, he refused to cry, he'd no reason, he was only tired, tired of existing at this point but still only tired. A tiredness he should soon be relieved of, Voldemort wanted him to die willingly for return of Hogwarts safety, luckily Harry had willingly wanted to die for years, now he didn't have to be tired anymore, didn't have to bite back the pathetic tears that almost constantly threatened to overwhelm him, didn't have to hurt for all the deaths he had caused.

Because it could have only been him. Taking his hands out of his hair and shaking it out Harry licked the blood off of his lip and grabbed his invisibility cloak, ignoring the dead littering the castle, not enough left alive to remove them all with haste, he supposed he appreciated that Hermione and Ron didn't have to experience the war. Taking in the wet ground, so sodden that once trod on would drown your feet in blood and sorrow, the scattered wands and limbs, the corpse or two of giant that he was sure was burying one or more smaller corpses, whether they were alive or dead when the giants fell was another matter. Harry sighed as he reached the forest, the knowledge that every weight that slowly buried him would be gone, because he would be dead was honestly a relief, Voldemort couldn't fail to kill him he wasn't going to fight back.

"I honestly thought he would come." Harry dropped his cloak as he stepped in front of Voldemort.

"I did."

"Harry Potter."

"Obviously." Voldemort glared at him.

----0

Harry blinked at what seemed to be solid white Kings Cross and to Dumbledore in front of him, at least he knew he was dead for sure, relief washes over him in a gentle wave.

"Not quite, you still have things to do my boy." Dumbledore pushed and he was blinking once again to a clearing surrounded by trees.

"No." A small whisper left his lips and he stumbled up to his knees, head spinning around to take in he clearing, Voldemort and the Death Eaters fury and weariness evident. . "No, No, No. NO, NO WHAT DID YOU DO, what did you do, WHAT DID YOU DO, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO FUCKING INTERFERE. I WAS DONE, EVERYONE WOULD LIVE, why?" Harry couldn't help as the weight he thought he was free of piled upon him tenfold, everyone would die now and not only by Voldemort's hands. They'd keep dying because he existed because he too pathetic just to not care for them, always sticking his heart in other people's business and it ended with their death.

The replacement of the weight he had so gotten used to, seemed to triple from the relief he'd felt of it being gone and the sobs that he usually fought back came again full force, tears pouring down his cheeks as he bent at the waist, still kneeling but with his elbows in the mud as his fingers buried themselves in his hair, joined by another that yanked his head up to meet his eyes.

"You wanted to die." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement from Voldemort.

"I always have, too much a coward to do it myself then I had the weight of your death on my head and suddenly I wasn't allowed to die, until it was your hand and your head. Everyone always dies, I thought it would finally stop. My parents, my relatives, the orphanage, Ron, Ginny, Hagrid, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Neville, Luna and even those I didn't closely care for, because it's so fucking insistent on taking everyone." He got a little hysterical as he went on, Voldemort dropping Harry's head and watching in fascination as he continued to mumble his magic bleeding from him like an open wound. "EVERYONE." A scream shredded his throat as Voldemort and the Death Eaters watched as his mind tore itself apart. The scream stopped far too suddenly, multiple death eaters paling and few stumbling back a step.

When tear stained, red-rimmed green eyes snapped up to his Voldemort actually had to fight a shiver as the boy dragged himself up for the ground, stained in blood and mud.

"Why aren't you dead too, Tom?" Voldemort growled at the name, unwilling to speak at the present moment, the boy creeping closer to him. "I cared for you too, I did, not in a gentle way I suppose but I cared at least for your death and you didn't die, maybe only those I want alive are taken from me, but that doesn't make a lot of sense does it Tom because I felt for you. When Dumbledore showed me all those memories, insisted he was training me, that care changed, I cared for you Tom Riddle I felt a kinship, so why aren't you dead. Just one of us, shouldn't one of us be able to die, to give this world a break, you kill by yours and their hand, I kill by existing. So why aren't you dead Tom, why aren't I, why did Dumbledore send me back when this world was finally rid of me, you're smart Tom, you know everything Tom. Tell me, Tom. TELL ME WHY IM NOT DEAD TOM, HE SENT ME BACK, WHY ARENT YOU DEAD TOM, TELL ME." Harry was close enough to shove at a wide eyed Voldemort's chest, the unexpected move having Voldemort stumbling back a step as Harry apparently was done with him and his lack of answers, not that he had any time to give any, not that he had any at all and Harry moved on.

"You're crazy Bella, but you're Smart. So loyal." He crooned as Bella matched his crazy for the moment and grinned at his advancing until he could reach up and stroke her cheek, trailing down her neck leaving behind blood and mess as he dropped it again. "So you tell me instead. Why is everyone dead but not me, not Tom, why did I come back I didn't have a Horcrux, the elixir TELL ME BELLATRIX, WHY ARENT I DEAD?" It was her husband and his brother that reacted, knowing she wouldn't, was enjoying the boys broken mind. Two cutting curses either side near joining together he turned to Rabastan as he bled out, his blood turning black and clotted as he stumbled to the man, who had experienced a lot but was fighting so as not to shake at the advancing teen.

"No, no. You have the right idea, go on, go on. No body, no back. No back, of course, of course. No body, No Back." Rabastan stumbled, himself and Rodolphus sent another cutting curse trying, apparently to provide his brother some kind of protection, getting in the swing as he sent more and more. Cutting Harry open as he lost more than one limb, only falling when his head was near severed from his neck.

"Circe." They were shaken, as much as it was entertaining to see him break the aftermath was terrifying. Some shoulders slumped in relief when Harry fell a second time though the reaction was immediate when his body sat up again blinking, broken eyes staring confused, crazed. Furious at being alive again, though not for long when curses sent at him reflexively cut his unhealed head off, cleanly and his torso in half.

They all waited with baited breath seeing him die three times, had them unwilling to relax as Voldemort seemed to watch the body unseeingly, Bella pouting at well they weren't sure but the gleam in her eye came back as the blood began to coalesce with a dark smoke that smothered the clearing, as it built Harry back together and became something itself, something Harry-ish.

"Death." The word was gurgled through a healing voice box.

"Hello Harry."

"Why aren't I with you?"

"But you are."

"No I'm here and you're here too. I'm not with you."

"Well I can't let you leave this realm."

"Why?"

"Because you're happy here. Honestly dear, what have you done to yourself." The clearing watched on in morbid fascination as supposedly Death, threaded his hands in Harry's hair, eliciting a scream from whatever the entity was doing. "It's not how Life would do it but much better dear."

"Happy?" Harry muttered incredulously.

"Of course, Humans aren't happy without their soulmates or so Life tells me, I don't see the appeal but if you were dead then your soulmate would be unhappy, it's a delicate balance."

"I'm not sure I know what Happiness is. Everyone dies."

"Well yes but that's hardly your fault is it. Completely out of your hands and honestly being expected to kill your soulmate. Humans are daft creatures indeed, setting themselves up for failure."

"Soulmate. Soulmate! I wanted to die, I don't give a fuck about something that is going to die as soon as I care for it. The world will better off with me not in it." Harry really hadn't connected who his soulmate was to the word though his soulmate certainly did.

"I don't know why you think that. Completely wrong of course, the world would fall to Chaos without you, with the catalyst of your death and Fate's really not in the mood for that so alive we are, always. Oh and I tucked that little soul piece back in so you soulmate stays beside you and I destroyed Dumbledore, always in the way, upsetting balances."

~~{ Wixafix [Wixabear] }~~

#hp universe #alternative universe #angst #harry potter #voldemort #bellatrix lestrange #rodolphus lestrange #rabastan lestrange #death eaters #no comfort #death #triggering themes #triggering content #unalive #tomarry #soulmates #soulmate #broken mind #wrote this one months ago too #only a teeny bit sorry #might have been last year actually. #death is a bit of dick but mostly cause he doesnt understand humans

[pk-anxietychild]

There's two of them!

Just wanted to do a simple compare/contrast of Masked Man and Commander Lucas plus the occasional chaotic doodle. They both reacted to being Commander in their own ways since they're two totally different people

I did more explaining of this AU on my Instagram story and I had a blast! More doodles and writing are bound to come! :D

#broken mind #mother 3 broken mind #mother 3 broken mind au #mother 3 commander lucas #mother 3 lucas #mother 3 masked man #mother 3 fanart #mother 3 au #mother 3 #traditional art #doodles #sketches #art #artist #pk anxietychild art #pk anxietychild #my art

[grammymumzy]

#noise #broken mind #dark thoughts #depression #sick and tired

[gbhbl]

Game Review: Broken Mind (Xbox Series X)

An indie gem, Broken Mind is a first-person horror adventure and puzzle game which comes from lone developer Tony De Lucia.

While the indie game market can be a bit of a drag to explore, the hidden gems you stumble upon end up making up for a lot of that. One such gem is Broken Mind, a horror adventure and puzzle game which comes from lone developer Tony De Lucia. It really doesn’t get more indie than that. It’s a game made with passion and it’s a game with plenty of charm, which helps make up for some of its issues.…

View On WordPress

#Broken Mind #Game Review #Xbox Series X

[nocturnal-desolation]

How damaged is too damaged?

#thoughts #broken mind

[daughterdevere]

What’s worst than a broken heart you ask? Well of course it is a broken mind. For a broken mind cannot heal a broken heart. Perhaps together they are not broken after all. ~Q.S

#poetry #writers and poets #shakespeare #heartbreak #broken mind

[nathan-thiry]

I’m finding it difficult to live by this. I keep having visions of you coming back and what I need to do is let it all go. I’m holding myself back by waiting for something that won’t come and something I shouldn’t want to come. You ruined my life in more ways than you know. Everyday since then, I’ve thought about dying. I’m holding myself back from being able to move forward. You don’t care so why should I wait. I need to let myself be free again. To be able to be free.

#truth #poetry #2 am thoughts #you #let it go #freedom #sad life #depressing shit #kinda depressing #nothing lasts forever #nothing matters #how i feel #i cant handle this #I need to be free #moving on #heart break #broken mind #broken heart #it’s not good

[lightpost]

Can you pass this along I'm looking for him my dream is seeing him I know he's real i just need to know if he's alive cause I want to stop breathing my pain is so bad and my past is ruining my mind, they called my deillulional over feeling a voice, like I never started working there on Oct. 31 of 2012 I was in the pool swimming that night after my first shift, I ended work there in Feb early so I move on to Yoga training in White Bear I was folding towels on fitness on December 9 2012 which happened to be a Sunday night (9 is also my birth number and so many odd things are happening to me on the 9th way to many things add to 9 and events since that 9th have been happening I got beat by Clinton on the 9th of October of last year (2022) which was a Sunday too! this man walked in front of the table with someone behind him purple shirt and pink shorts white shoes and a ponytail blonde shoulder length when her hair is up she went to kick him as they reached the top she missed behind him He was in dark navy blue basketball shorts and black tank grey beanie and black shoes I believe he's tall dark and handsome and I'm a dumbass for waiting this long to do anything about finding him.

Because when he told me to have a goodnight my whole soul lit up with the universe I was home floating safely in love, warmth, I was out of body the best DMT, LSD, mushroom trip I've ever had and I was sober at work holy nothing compares to him no sound, no music, no bird, no nothing, no other person comes close to the effects he has on my life, over my heart, my head.

#lifetime fitness #lifetimefitness #love #no hope #lost love #lost everything #broken mind #broken heart #where are you #I need him #i need to know #he needs to know #i need it

[nctrnm]

NctrnmFM(nctrnm.com): "Broken Mind" by Hollowave.

#Spotify #Broken Mind #Hollowave #Je me noie - EP #Music #Audio #NP

[luciano6254]

Art made in first time in Clip Studio Paint in 2 days. DO NOT RE-POST MY ART WITHOUT MY PERMITION!!! Perfect Blue © by Satoshi Kon R.I.P. Satoshi Kon (1963 - 2010)

#Art #Fanart #Digital #Digital Art #clip studio paint #Perfect Blue #Movie #Anime #90s #Mima #Mima Kirigoe #Idol #Psychological #Actress #Blue #Horror #Satoshi Kon #Thriller #Cartoon #Broken Mind

[pk-anxietychild]

死ねえ (shinee)

#i don't know what else to say #so #broken mind #mother 3 broken mind au #mother 3 commander lucas #mother 3 lucas #mother 3 fanart #mother 3 au #mother 3 #traditional art #art #artist #pk anxietychild art #pk anxietychild

[isjasz]

To chase away any bad luck

Happy new year🎇

#dddaily4sherin #day 187! #i posted the wip on twt before midnight in my timezone but forgot to post here BHAHSHA #grian #scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #inthelittlewood #goodtimeswithscar #life series #trafficblr #traffic smp #they in the void. I've always wanted to do this #dont mind the absolutely broken perspective look i had limited time HSFJAHD HEAD IN HANDS #happy new year!! :D #my art

[authenticrat]

I have never felt more ashamed and sinful for being a furry than I do now. I think it’s the music, or maybe it’s something about it being drawings that we fuel these acts and emotions into, unfettered by reality.

Maybe I should go have sox instead of baiting myself. Do you think that is more healthy?

It wouldn’t be penetrative though. I’m going to make a trap fursuit, go to an adult con, and hit on some lonely guys, and cuddle, and kiss, and if they want, give them head… is that less sinful? Is that more healthy and natural? I’m so lost. I want god to be real but I can’t find him.

#sin #god #Islam #Christian #jewish #hindu #Sikh #atheism #mental health #broken mind #Ohio #Florida #cursed #furry addiction #sexy furry

[poltoreveur]

I could fix him but I kinda like him a little murderous and psychotic tho

#he would kill me too #but i don’t mind #love my sexy psychotic men #i don’t care about fixing him lol #can you tell i’m also insane? #i like my men broken #and deranged #and psychotic #with a dash of mommy issues #coriolanus snow x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #void stiles x reader #tom riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #theodore nott x reader #ethan landry x reader #billy hargrove x reader #luke castellan x reader #aaron warner #cardan greenbriar #jonathan crane #patrick bateman #this is so unhealthy of me #also very unhinged #but also so real #this is the last time i’m going to talk about being a fixer upper i promise

[nocturnal-desolation]

There is no true freedom for a soul like mine. A soul that is imprisoned within unbreakable walls, trapped in a dark and lonely place where it is bound to continue a discouraging cycle of pain and hopelessness. But it still wants to be free, it wants to breathe, to be happy… it feels like there's always something keeping me from reaching it. Like a force holding me back. It's frustrating and well, it also feels so unfair that I can't escape it. Because I know the path, I know the way out, and yet it's this constant voice of self-criticism and self-hatred that keeps pulling me back in. I wouldn't be that bad, I'm really not, it's just my damn mind that keeps telling me, "Yes, yes you are, they hate you as much as you hate yourself."

Just my damn mind…

#freedom #soul #trapped in my head #hopelessness #frustrated #so frustrating #self criticism #feelings #broken mind #thoughts