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#broken record at this point i know but i dont exactly have someone to talk to about this stuff and i kinda need to talk about it
menalez · 2 years
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I never understand where the bottom line is for some radfems. There are easy tells when someone is going to be a dumpster fire of a human being. The first is acting shocked we don't encourage neoliberal economic representation bc a woman in power under today's standards relies on the exploitation of other women for her own financial independence. Women with center or right political views are first comfortable voicing their disagreement with us over radical feminism's Marxist views. The next tell is when they lament the visibility of lesbians as taking something away from them. Apostle-of-sappho started drama with lesbians everyone who wasn't a lesbian overlooked, then pretended to care when she spouted off racism. Same for Girlsfrommars and her xenophobia. The next tell is when they disavow intersex women with XY chromosomes. Deny their womanhood or experience of misogyny. Lie about Caster Semenya's upbringing or diagnosis. The GC conservatives on Ovarit were obsessed with their own conspiracies and took it out on other intersex women. The anti-semitism and racism follow once the waters were tested with an unpopular view and discrimination against other women they got away with. Rad-bad-and-dangerous-to-know hit almost all these notes immediately and I wondered if she wasn't Rad-and-I-dont-stop. Most of us are old enough to know the difference between someone who needs more information to unlearn their biases and someone expressing prejudice. We don't have to keep giving these women the benefit of the doubt! A lot of us had rad-bad-and-dangerous-to-know blocked but blocking someone doesn't stop the spread of their platform. We have to point out to others the reasons we aren't interacting with the post and it's not because we're witch hunting and censoring like the tras. We know what the person is talking about. We know who the user is. We are opposed for real reasons not suspicions which exist only in our minds.
“blocking someone doesn't stop the spread of their platform”
exactly this likeeee do we all just silently block and ignore TRAs? no, we engage with them and their arguments and show how they’re wrong so we can get somewhere. but i feel like the general attitude here when it comes to racism, homophobia, and so on from “radfems” is to just ignore or block which does absolutely nothing to combat them or make them or others like them feel unwelcome on the basis of their beliefs in rfeminism. it’s baffling to me that rad-bad-and-dangerous-to-know was openly racist for months, she was very openly deranged in a Bad Way and morally questionable for probably years and people only cared when it turned out she was lying about her financial situation to emotionally manipulate other women into giving their money… like as bad as that is, we could’ve probably put a stop to her exploitation early had people cared about her being shitty in other ways. and i hate to sound like a broken record, but no woc is given this kind of lenience. when i was 20/21 and asked for help on 3 diff occasions bc i was in an abusive relationship where i was literally being stolen from, people harassed me for months. the money i got was from mutuals i largely paid back or gave something in return to, and randos that hated me for prejudice-related reasons still harassed me instantly. suddenly i baselessly became a rich woman living in a gated community with several servants and w/e else instead of a middle class student living in the UK and broke because of being stolen from, and thus required a small amount of money to buy a meal on 2 occasions and meds on 1 occasion. people invented lies about my social class and my living situation as a student living alone in a foreign country. but this woman has been e-begging since 2016 when she was in her own family home as a woman in her 30s and no one cared for yearsss until she started lashing out at others and threatening w suicide!! it bothers me that white women are obviously sympathised with and given more benefit of the doubt than woc can ever imagine to have on here.
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homesickhalfling · 3 years
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I watched Bo's new special Inside today.
#spoilers #Inside #boburnham #howthefuckdoiputthisunderacutidontwannaruinpeoplesfeedswiththiscrap #idontknowhowhashtagswork
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I felt anxiety before I watched it, almost like I knew it was going to hurt me.
And it did.
About halfway through i realized I had spent a lot of it literally hugging myself.
I sobbed after it was done. Sobbed.
Then I spent half an hour in the fetal position in silence in my room wondering what I was supposed to do now.
He articulated everything I had been feeling but running from for the past few years because I didn't want to acknowledge it or know how to say it, let alone fix it. ("There's that feeling again")
He proved that I was right when I had guessed that making this special would be a difficult regression for him and not good for his mental health. That he'd start questioning his life and his career.
It was hard to watch someone essentially record themselves having a breakdown over the course of a year. Even when he was trying to make me laugh I felt bad for doing it... yet I still laughed.
I feel partially responsible for his mental state. I participated. We all did. We gave him the likes, the views, the follows, the ticket sales. He was a child star and it fucked him up. There's a moment where he's sitting there watching one of his early YouTube videos and I just felt such pain for him. How horrible it must feel to live in the spotlight and be expected to make others happy ("dance you fucking monkey/ watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself") and no one deserves to live their lives in that state.
He pointed out so expertly how the internet has spun wildly out of control and technology is too accessible and is ruining society. How everyone has to broadcast themselves and their opinions all the time. How kids grow up attached to tech that is rewiring their brains and development.
It was hard to watch. Of course he was funny, he made silly jokes and did silly dances and made fun of people and himself in poignant and catchy ways as he always does... but at the core of it all was this struggle of trying to make sense of a world that doesnt make any fucking sense. That is harmful in almost every way. And not wanting to participate in it anymore but having no way out.
He talked about wanting to kill himself, but not kill himself. I know that exact feeling. I have been saying it for months (maybe not out loud cause I don't want to alarm anyone but...) some days I just dont want to exist.
He talked about his anxiety, about feeling agoraphobia, about how the outside world is like a coal mine. And it's a perfect analogy.
He sang "congratulations" to Bezos. How many times have I said that exsxt thing to people? I say "Congratulations you won capitalism, good for you, now give us all your money."
He filmed himself turning 30. I turn 30 this year. It looked exactly how it feels. Scary. Lonely. Disappointing.
The ending hurt too. Its too real, too "meta". It's unavoidable and hurts to think about: He's come outside and "reentered" but all we are going to do is put him in the spotlight and laugh as he struggles with wanting anything but that. And yet he's releasing this fucking masterpiece... and like... are we not supposed to applaud him for it? It feels like a trap. Which I guess is exactly how he feels. Which just makes me appreciate his genius that much more for being able to convey that so perfectly.
He made me question everything (including my white woman instagram) because of course... what was I gonna do the second I finished watching? Post my opinion about it on social media. Like he said we all do. Like he asked us not to do. He's absolutely right that it's a pointless and empty validation thing that we all do and can't stop doing... and why? What purpose does it serve? ("Just perform for each other, all the time, for no reason")
I just kinda want to crawl in a hole and not participate in society. You know, like how I have always felt. Like my anxiety and depression have been telling me to do for years. That feeling I have to shove down every single morning before I get dressed and go to work. Pay bills. Socialize.
I dont know what to do now. I understand him not wanting to finish the special... because... then what? Just carry on like nothing happened? Go back to "normal"? Or go back to our isolation and wonder if/when things will ever get better for any of us?
Anyway... all of that being said... I think it's an important look in the mirror at where our society stands and what we have become. I think it's exactly what the world needs to hear right now even though it's hard. ("Look into my eyes don't shy away"). Bo is our mirror. A tortured, twisted, broken mirror for our tortured, twisted, and broken society.
And here I am... giving out my opinion that no one asked for or needed or cares about. Like the fucking hypocrite I am.
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ssurveycorpss · 3 years
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to the dearest anon who requested 3 letters for eren before i was struck down from my blog like hephaestus was struck down from olympus: i dont remember exactly which ones they were? but i'm pretty sure it was these three. im so sorry anonnie. (if youre seeing this, send an ask confirming/correcting me pls <3 i wanna make sure i got your request correct!) also this is the last one i received so if you requested something please send it over this way instead of my old blog.
hc game
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
He is so very affectionate. Eren feels like he needs to constantly remind you he loves you. It makes him feel safe and comforted, plus Eren has like... an excess of love for you that he needs to get out and the easiest way to let it out is by hugging and kissing you. Kinda like a dog when they run around because they haven't been walked.
Everyone knows you two are together because he is no stranger to PDA. The only people he kinda tones it down in front of is Mikasa, Historia, and maybe Annie (this annoys Armin to no end, he has to watch Eren snuggle you and do all this embarrassing stuff and the most Mikasa has to see is hand holding). He still tells every story of his love life to Historia though, and in exchange he has to listen to her talk about how cute Ymir is.
Honestly his affection levels start to go down the longer he knows you because he learns to become more subtle. Like when you first start dating he's throwing an arm around your waist and clinging to you like a koala while you study so you can pay attention to him (except he's not a koala he's a 6 foot something ripped dude and he's heavy!!!! And annoying!!! Bro chill!!!!!) but once you guys have been dating for a while he can just lay his head in your lap or be near you while you study in silence. He still loves you he's just less loud about his affection, more subtle and personal.
Eren likes routines and normalcy in his relationships. If you guys always hold hands to go to the dining hall for lunch, he expects you two to do that. If you forget he is freaking out. Kinda like how no matter how much he loves Jean he acts like he doesn't. The guy is like a brother to him but he feels like it's weird for them to stop bickering.
Also has a tendency to brag about you. Social media posts, casual conversation, showing someone something on his phone and making sure to unlock it in front of them so they can see a cute photo of you two, bringing up "my partner did-" in every conversation. Lowkey annoying but at the same time everyone finds it cute.
Kinda off topic but he is so annoying about you not saying I love you back or calling him like bro or anything that doesn't denote affection. If he says I love you and you don't say I love you back he will act like you stabbed him right there. If you call him bro or dude (he makes an exception sometimes if you kiss him after you say it because that is not like... bro, bro, that's like, bro [romantically]) he will not respond. He is your lover! Treat him as such. It also helps him stay grounded in the fact that you love him back.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Always there for you, no matter what you need. Selfless in his own very Eren way, which usually includes excessive amounts of impulsiveness and stupidity.
"You like so and so? Well why haven't you told them? I'll tell them, they like you back I just know it!"
You have to rush to get him to stop because he does not think before he acts. He tends to think in the long term which can be really irritating, but it's also quite adorable and honestly 99.9% of the time it works out, disregarding a couple bumps in the road.
Will listen to you talk about things you like even if he doesn't care for them. He finds it kind of his duty.
Good at keeping promises, he just takes a long time to do them. If he promises you french fries you'll get them it'll just be like 3 years later.
If you are Eren's friend and you like him don't even try to like... guess if he likes you back because he does not change at all when he starts to crush on someone. If you relationship starts off as flirty and he decides he doesn't really like you as much as he thought, he still flirts with you, it's just joke flirting now. If you guys start off as normal friends and he falls for you, he'll never try to flirt with you or anything. His life is already hectic enough, so he relies on his friendships and relationships for a sense of serenity. Despite this he has a tendency to fall for his friends so he's got it real rough.
Will never confess to you if you guys have a friends to lovers sort of arc. You've got to bear that burden. He can't even imagine losing you or making things awkward between him.
Enemies to lovers with Eren Jaeger means he will call you an idiot on your wedding day and then say I do 4 seconds later.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
god this is my shit
I feel like I'm just a broken record at this point but he's so passionate in his kisses. Like his love for you is all flowing out at once and he cannot stop it.
Kinda like fireworks. Fast and loud and colorful and one after another.
Teeth clacking. If you wear glasses they're gonna poke him. Awkward nose bumping that he laughs about before kissing you on the nose to make it all better.
He's kinda a rough kisser but it feels anything but rough. Like he's not particularly gentle with you or anything but it doesn't hurt at all it's just a lot all at once. Also he's a biter. They're not hard or painful bites but like he will chomp you on the neck while kissing you.
Likes neck kisses, literally just sit in his lap and let him nibble and kiss your neck while he hugs you really tight and his day is complete. Also likes kissing you on the lips but that's just a given. Those two are his go-to spots but honestly he will kiss you anywhere. Your chest, forehead, cheeks, thighs, stomach, whatever. He's not picky.
Likes to lay his head between your thighs and lean over and kiss them or blow raspberries on them.
Often says "I just wanna kiss you right now." or "Kiss me, dummy." or "Gimme kith." So so kissstarved help the poor man.
When you first start dating he tries to like plan out how to have an amazing first kiss with you and then it's just like completely ruined by his adrenaline and impulsivity. Like he was gonna take you out for dinner, walk you by the pier, kiss you by the moonlight, yada, yada, yada, but actually he just like got really excited at winning in an arcade game and went for it.
When he forgets to shave his stubble is so scratchy but unless you seriously get annoyed with him he will not stop kissing you just to shave you just have to deal with it. The more you complain the more he will bother you with it. He tends to stay clean shaven though.
Even as he grows "less affectionate" the longer you guys are together he will still take solace in kisses, they just become a bit slower and longer. He still has his moments of his inner fire sign coming out to just smother you but he's mellowed out quite a bit as you guys continue to be together.
EREN JUST REALLY LIKES KISSES OKAY I REST MY CASE
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(CW: Autism Martyr Parent, hell mention, self-harm mention)
So I was searching for if people’d go to hell for being autistic because I was going to a church fall festival (I asked the pastor if I’d go to hell for being autistic and he said no, so there’s that) and I came across this:
https://faithmummy.wordpress.com/2017/10/15/i-dont-want-to-be-an-autism-parent-anymore/
*big-ass inhale of frustration.*
Okay.....let’s take this in bits.
“*Preface: have you ever felt overwhelmed with life? I have. Of course I love my son with all my heart, I should never need to even justify that, but living with a child with severe autism is hard. I do not need threats made to my life or my child’s because I find some days hard. Comments like that will not be approved.
And for the record I don’t always feel like this but I am human and some days this is exactly how it is. *”
Okay, that’s understandable. You’re allowed to voice that it’s difficult. You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed. That’s valid. If the post continued like this, I’d be fine with it, but she calls herself an Autism Parent, so.....brace yourselves.
“The day started far too early. There was no sweet cuddles in bed or a little voice asking for a drink; no I was woken as usual by screaming. I have had day after day, month after month, year after year of being woken by screaming and I don’t want that anymore.“
That’s also valid, but at the same time, he’s trying to communicate with you. He’s trying to communicate his needs. He might not have any other method of communication, whether it’s the only way he knows how to communicate or that he lacks the proper tools to communicate. 
“I don’t want to wake up to a smell that would make you want to vomit and bedding that is fit for the bin more than the washing machine, because yet again it is covered in something that ought not to be seen by anyone else. I am so tired of that now.“
That just is how it is sometimes. You gotta deal with that. 
“I don’t want to sit on my couch in the middle of the night looking at my child and wondering what I did to have a child who sees no point in sleeping, who at 8 still can’t say ‘mama’ and who still thinks the world revolves around his needs only.”
This is where I get pissed. You’re basically saying that your son is a punishment for you. You’re calling him a burden. But it’s the last bit that boils my blood. 
“who still thinks the world revolves around his needs only.”
This is where I say “Fuck. You.” You’re making him sound selfish. Us autistic people generally have trouble communicating our needs because neurotypicals don’t seem to fucking listen. You’re making it sound like he’s arrogant and a narcissist. If you’re looking for that, look in a fucking mirror.
“I love him more than words could ever convey but I don’t want to be an autism mum anymore.”
You love him and yet you just said you wonder what you did to have a child like him? That shit doesn’t add up. 
“I want to be a mum who has fun with her child rather than doing therapy with them.
“I want to walk my son to school and talk to his friends instead of sending him in a taxi to a place where I am a stranger to them.
“I want to be able to talk to my child about the fact it is his birthday soon and discuss what he would like to do to mark that day.
“I want to be someone who takes my child to bowling, teaches them to ride a bike or even goes to the movies with them. Instead the only place I ever take him to is hospitals or respite.”
This one’s a double-edged sword. On one hand, yeah, your child having to miss out on those things sucks. On the other hand, the subtext is indicating that this is about YOU, not your child. 
“I am tired of missing out on everything. I am tired of never having party invites, knowing nothing about his day at school, having to still dress him, having to take adult nappies and wipes with me wherever I go.“
No, you’re tired of not being able to live vicariously through him, as shown by you saying YOU are tired of missing out on everything. 
“I don’t want to be an autism parent anymore.
“I am tired of holding my child as he screams in public again.
“I am tired of the never ending judgement, the stares and the horrid comments.
“I am am tired of carrying around my broken heart as a result of the interventions and therapies having achieved nothing.
“I simply can not bear the thought of my child as an adult knowing what society is like.
“I am tired of meetings.
“I am tired of phone calls from his school.
“I am tired of fighting for everything but then being accused as having an attitude or people thinking I act like I am entitled.”
Have you ever considered WHY he’s screaming in public? Have you ever considered that he’s trying to communicate or that he’s overwhelmed?
“I don’t want my child to have autism anymore. This is not a ‘different way of seeing the world’ that he has, or ‘a wonderful gift’. This is a child about to be 9 years old who can not say ‘mum’ or use a bathroom himself. This is a child almost my height who still can’t put his own clothes on, brush his own teeth or dry himself after a bath. This is a child who can never ever be left alone, who has to have everything the same all the time, who self harms and wanders. This is a child still with the mind of a toddler who will require others to look after him his entire life.“
EXCUSE ME? THE MIND OF A TODDLER? I don’t think he does. You said he needs to have everything the same all the time. He doesn’t have control over most of his life, so having that sense of stability and routine is likely comforting to him. I feel like in the back of his mind, he knows that. Also you can’t wish away his autism. 
“Who would want that for their child?
“Who would want that as a parent?
“Today I don’t want to be an autism parent any more.
“The problem is I have no choice.”
MARTYR COMPLEX ALERT! MARTYR COMPLEX ALERT!
“So I strip that bed, bath that child, cook him that breakfast as I always do and let him sit on my knee while he rewinds the same ten seconds of video on you tube he did yesterday and the day before that and the day before that.“
Bath THAT child. “That child” has the same energy as “That thing.”
“Nothing changes much in my house, except my feelings. 
“Today I am tired. I don’t want to be an autism parent today the same way any other parent may feel about not wanting to be the mum of a toddler who tantrums daily or a baby who has reflux or the partner to someone with Alzheimer’s. We all have days when we are just down about the life we have.”
Um, no. You don’t want to be an autism parent because it’s hard on you. You’re not thinking about your son. If you don’t want to be around someone because you only focus on how their disability makes things difficult for you and not taking their struggles into consideration, they deserve better. 
“Yet we carry on. We dust ourselves down, search for some positives or listen to some music.
“Tomorrow is a new day. It will probably start off with screaming again too., but maybe tomorrow I will be stronger, more hopeful, more upbeat.
“Maybe tomorrow I will want to be the autism parent I need to be. 
“Maybe tomorrow.”
So you just spent 90% of the blog post crying about how hard your life is because you see your child as a burden, and then you say “we carry on”? Are you for real?
This blog post is disgusting. It has one and a half valid points: the preface and that double-edged sword I mention. But that only makes up like 10% of the whole post. The other 90% is them creating a sob story to get pity and sympathy. They’re making themself out to be a victim. 
Here’s a hot take: if you’re not willing to love your child because of something out of their control, like a disability or their sexual orientation or their gender identity, you shouldn’t become a parent. You can’t go into parenthood expecting the ideal family life. You can feel frustrated about the obstacles you face. That’s valid. But DO NOT demonize your child and/or make them out to be a burden.
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nightswithkookmin · 3 years
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Does Run ep 119 fall into the period of Jikook's romantic separation/distancing you talked about? By hairstyles I think this is the time you marked as being 'not a couple'? Did I get the timelines right? Please dont get mad, but they seemed especially cozy+close this ep, and not just skinship (I know this is a subjective judgement and dif points of view are allowed). Just curious if you still hold to your theory? We see only tiny snapshots of time. Do you ever retrospectively change your mind?
Me right now. lol
Running away before I give in to the temptation to rumble on for pages. Lol.
Ahhh shit! Too late. lol.
First of all, it's not so much that questions like these irk me...
It's just I've never had to worry about being 'right' or 'wrong' in forming an opinion about anything or on any topic in my life.
I think the night is more beautiful than the day. I think both Trump and Biden are trash- but better Biden than Trump. I think formal education is a damn waste of time and money. I think a lot of things. But I've never had to worry about that I could be right or wrong about them.
I never assume, when I read people's opinions too, that they are right or wrong. I either tend to agree with it or disagree with it or get informed by it if I had zero opinion prior. I find it bizarre when people want to be right and stuff- especially in a community that is nothing but a swirling vortex of thoughts and opinions. Lmho.
You either defend your stand and give evidence to support it but even then we are just all making assumptions.
Also questions like these tend to put me in a position where I feel like if I should respond then I am not only 'defending' my opinions but challenging other's opinions with my opinions and treating my opinions as if they were the facts. But they are not. It's just one opinion against another.
Know what I mean?
I used to be comfortable doing that because I thought it was all friendly debates and discourse until someone drew my attention to it and pointed out to me that when I do that I come across as 'all knowy,' 'presenting my opinions as facts' and 'challenging other's opinions with my opinion'- which y'all are well aware is the case that has launched a thousand hate comments, privacy invasion, doxing, lies and operation boycott Goldy on ship street.
I don't think it's worth it.
Then there is the substantive issue: how these questions are framed. How should I put this...
I never said anywhere that Jikook were broken up during the On era because they were not acting 'cozy'. Who's theory is that? Who said that? I've never peddled the 'Jikook is real because of skinship or their interactions' theory. If anything, I try to distinguish between Jikook's couple moments and their skinship or mere interactions because neither of those two make Jikook real... to me.
If Jikook showing skinship and merely interacting with eachother to you is a determining factor as to whether they are real- it's not, to me. I've made this much clear over the course of my blogs. If it's your metric then it differs from mine and I can't 'challenge' it. Lol.
I have said, Jikook can interact zero in a content and I still could be able to tell if they are a couple.
Similarly, two people can grind on eachother and stick their tongues down eachother's throats and I still will be able to tell they are not a couple within the same group if they are not.
Am I wrong sometimes? Absolutely. Hell, I said JK was going to post for Jimin's birthday. He didn't. I got that wrong.
I do retrospectively change my mind on a lot of things. If say, in the future, Jimin announced he has a kid and is married to a het woman I would backpedal on my theory that Jikook is real. I don't think it's that deep.
If at any one point, I have reason to believe Jikook aren't together any more as a couple within BTS, or that one of them is straight, I would change my opinion about them being in a gay relationship with eachother.
Similarly, if I have reason to believe Jikook have broken up or distanced themselves from eachother at one point, I would say so and not run around the internet yelling Jikook gay, Jikook married.
There are moments, when I thought Jikook were together but they weren't and so I had to change my mind in retrospect too.
It seems to me, that to y'all, as long as I'm saying Jikook are together then I'm right and it's Amen preach but if I say I think they are or were not together at a point in their relationship then suddenly it's, she is a Trump supporter spreading lies about Jikook and dancing in the rain with convicted serial killers while trying to pass off her published work as Jikook fanfiction. It's all very interesting how some people's minds work...
For the record, I said Jikook were broken up within that period because they were not claiming eachother, reassuring eachother, exercising rights of claim and authority, speaking eachothers love language and all the other metrics I have time and again pointed out several times across my posts that they are the qualities that to me make Jikook a couple.
So do you see why I feel some kind of way when people come at me with the, 'they stared at eachother' 'they smiled at eachther' they touched eachother' argument? Y'all must have me confused a certain shipper on the block. Lol.
You tell me they look cozy and intimate, but then I go and check and they are still not claiming eachother or exhibiting any of the qualities that makes them a couple. Lol.
If I say Jikook is in a relationship, it's usually because I have reasons to believe they are in a relationship. If I say Jikook are not together, it's also because I have reasons to believe they are not together. It's really not hard maths.
I forego a lot of sleep to ensure I share my thought process on a lot of my theories and opinions. I have shared across several posts why I believe Jikook is real. I have shared a few of the metrics I use to decide on that opinion and I have shared my thought process on why I believe in certain moments they aren't together.
It's exhausting when I have to repeat that process each time because then it's not about you asking for my opinion on the topic anymore because I've already stated that, it's about you asking me to change my opinion on a topic based on your assessment and your metric and it just doesn't work that way.
Your assertion that Run 119 was filmed in the same era as On is valid I guess... but I have to disagree. I can't tell you exactly when that episode was filmed but if I had to share my two cents on it, I'd have to place it towards the middle of April this year or somewhere around that period. In my opinion.
I say that because Jimin debuted his jet black hair around 14th April when he appeared in a Vlive with RM. Again I do not know exactly when he got his hair changed but as of March 26th, he had blondish hair.
In his March 30th Vlive- the one where JK interrupted Jin's call, he had a cap on so chilee I'm not gonna argue on whether he had dyed his hair at that point or not.
Then there is Suga, who has blonde hair in this Run 119 episode. He had blonde hair from his birthday in early March and tweeted a bunch of photos of himself in blonde hair from March through to April 28th.
Yet in the JinMinGi Vlive on April 27th when Jimin still had jet black hair, Suga seemed to have a jet black hair too. Which means he could have had blonde hair around the time Jimin went black in early April and dyed it black in late April- but that's theory and that's just my assumption. We can know for sure if and when knew content is released which was filmed around that period.
Thus, I doubt if it was filmed during On era like episode 116 and 117- where you could see clearly, Jikook were having issues.
Just because a peice of content is released in succession don't mean they were filmed around the same period...
So yes I agree with you, we only see snapshots of their time and most importantly we see them in DISORDER. BigHit doesn't release content in chronological order as per when they film them- something I keep reiterating throughout my blogs.
And just as a tip for when you want to reconstruct the timeline for accuracy based on their hairstyles, I think you should look to their Live contents and not their prerecorded content. Their VLives and Youtube lives- actual lives not the prerecorded ones passed off as live streams lol, or even their live reactions to when they win awards or do interviews etc.
I think those are a somewhat accurate reflection of the timeline and helps fit contents in their right time period. But even that- it's still 60/40. But that's me. Feel free to use your own metric to access the timeline.
And the part about them seeming cozy within- On Era, I assume? Because that's when I speculated they had a break up?
I wasn't going to address it because it requires me to provide a comprehensive reconstruction of the timeline but I can't do that until a few more years from now when BigHit has released all or most of the content they have on that period.
I'm just gonna have to repeat myself, for the n>th time though and be intentionally vague about it lol - I had decided not to talk about that period again but I have to just because you make it sound like I would go full on frying pan wielding JK on your ass, step for step, for pointing out that Jikook seemed cozy and intimate within that speculated breakup period. Chilee, I'm not a villain. Lol.
I will not whoop your ass for saying that- but you'd have to answer a seven page query if you are an avid reader of my blogs, so clear your schedule. It's gonna be a long day. Lol.
Query: How do you expect Jikook to look like and behave if and when they are not together together?
I keep saying, at the bare minimum, Jikook are friends not enemies. You don't expect them to act like they never knew eachother during such times. But it takes a while for them to settle into that space when they both feel comfortable with being friends and during such period is when you notice them putting up emotional boundaries and distance between them.
Maybe its just because I saw Jikook as friends and got used to them as friends before lovers and so spotting when they are acting as friends comes easy to me? I don't know.
I think it's similar to how people who are used to seeing Jikook as friends can't seem to see past their friendship to seeing them as a couple.
Then there are those who've only known Jikook to be a couple or saw them as a couple first upon entering the fandom and so can't seem to see them as friends or even think of them as friends. It can be a trip for such people. Which one are you?
If you see Jikook as lovers all the time, really I don't. And I don't need the tensions and the silences to sense something is off. JK unable to check RM or anyone within the group when they are crossing boundaries with Jimin is enough tell.
Same way I don't need to the skinship and 'cosy' to tell if they are together. Jk putting up emotional distance with certain members within the group- all but Jimin, is enough evidence for me.
We don't have to all see Jikook through the same lens to enjoy them. And we don't have to agree on everything too.
We are different people, with different backgrounds and experiences. We can't think the same or perceive on things the same.
I keep saying, to me, there is a quality to Jikook that makes them more than friends. If I see those qualities in them, I believe they are a couple. If not, they are not. Those are the qualities I see only between Jikook and what set them apart from the other ships in BTS.
I see their friendship and I also see their other stuff.
And I notice, during certain periods that they lose that quality that makes them couples- for them to be a couple they need to be speaking eachothers love language, exercising certain rights and privileges over each other, claiming eachother, reassuring eachother yadda yadda yadda and a whole others that don't include them merely talking to eachother or engaging in skinship.
When I talk about Jikook On Era break up period, I'm talking about the period from the 21st to 28th February this year- or the period right before it.
Thats the period I noticed a drastic change in Jikook's interactions and even their personalities. It gave me the feeling that jikook had been through something heavy prior to that date. That period seemed more like the aftermath of a break up rather than the beginning of it as there seemed to be a drastic flip in their dynamics compared to any era before that. Especially late December or around the period when they filmed Carpool Karaoke.
They weren't doing any of the things I've mentioned above that to me make them a couple- they were just interacting and pretty much being civil- except for JK. He seemed more angry, less tolerant and very assertive against Jimin and the group.
He was being super self assertive and was asserting himself even against Jimin- something he has been doing a lot this year which I keep talking about.
Jimin didn't seem different to me at all to me in that period until April.
Why do I feel you are forcing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about? Lol.
I mark that period as significant not only because of the changes that took place in Jikook's dynamics but because it marks the genesis of the JK we are experiencing today.
Their interactions within that period were reflective of a consistent pattern of behavior they've exhibited around periods when they are not together- JK putting up boundaries, not claiming JM, JM trying to reconnect etc.
For instance, at Music Bank on the 28th of February, Jimin did that thing with Jin when he noticed JK interacting with Tae but JK didn't mind him or claim.
Contrast that with their moment on the 1st March, at Inkigayo, where JK literally teleported his ass to stand behind JM when he noticed JM had started his shenanigans on the stage.
Jikook started claiming eachother and acting as a couple again from then- they started reassuring eachother and doing all these things that to me mark them as a couple. Again, this is only an assumption, I don't have the comprehensive breakdown of the period- yet because there are new contents being released on a daily.
On 6th March, during Music Bank when Hobi hugged Jimin during their interview JK reacted strongly to that too in my opinion.
On 30th March, JK interrupted Jin's call to flirt and ask JM on a date- you could see them acting as a couple from that moment at Inkigayo on 1st March throughout to 30th March and their interactions were consistent.
Their interactions in the period before that was pretty much inconsistent and filled with a lot of Jump cuts- which I'm hoping future contents will help fill the gaps for me so I can build a comprehensive breakdown of that era- at least for my self. Iol.
It's just the way Jikook usually behave after these period. They go through a reconnection phase, where they constantly try reassure eachother and then eventually end up in a honey moon phase of a sort where you'd see them flirting up and down the hills, acting super touchy, hitting the red marks- making us and the others feel weird and super uncomfortable watching them.
It's also important to note that around the period of them reconnecting, JK had started distancing himself from Tae. He puts up emotional boundaries with the others and closes himself off to them when he opens himself up to Jimin.
I mean if I'm 'wrong,' and I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying if I'm wrong because of your two seconds clip of them acting 'cozy,' then I gotta ask what happened to JK in this period? Why was he putting up boundaries between him and Jimin in that period, and what set him on this self assertive path he's been on throughout this year- think about that while I hold on to my he went through a nasty breakup and had an emotional trauma that pushed him on a path to reevaluate and set his priorities straight theory. Lol
I think some of the content they have released so far within that period were filmed either closer to or far from when that break up happened- Run 116 and 117 would be the closest to that period so far- I just don't know if it was before 21st February or after it.
Run 100 and 101 would also have been filmed relatively closer to that period or immediately after it because Jimin was behaving in those Runs the same way he was behaving during the On Comeback Special VLive which was released on 21st of February- I feel the breakup would happened before this date.
In both those Runs and the On comeback special, Jimin seemed beat, humbled and subdued. He was trying to establish eye contact with JK during the comeback VLive, egging him on to talk about his looks, and putting boundaries between him and the other members. He seemed to be on his best behavior.
For instance, in the Comback he seemed like he was walking on eggshells around Kookie and didn't want to create the impression he was going out of his way to flirt with the others or portray himself as available and so when Suga touched his waist or back, he asked him to stop.
Similary, in Runs 100/101 behind scenes or something, when they were eating and he noticed Tae had food residue on his lips, he tried to help him clean it but panicked and stopped the moment he sensedJK lifting his head up- it seemed he didn't want to piss JK off in those two instances. JK for the most part just seemed serious and less tolerant of JM's bs within that period.
Juxtapose JM's behavior in these two instances with the events at Music Bank and Inkigayo where he was hugging Jin and acting extra around Kook- which to me seemed like he was looking for reassurance by trying to get JK to claim him but of course JK didn't do that.
Jimin likes being reassured by JK when he is feeling 'insecure.' And often, JK reassures him when he notices JM going through that. Jimin does the same for JK.
They are intune with eachother's emotional needs and they consciously go out of their way to meet them.
Take the recent MAMA speech moment when JM was giving a speech and he seemed like he need support- emotional support and back up. Jk turn fully and instantly towards him to let him know he was there for him. We've seen Jikook do this a countless times. I value these moments over them showing skinship or screaming eachother's names.
In the recent BE press conference red carpet moment when JM tried it with RM- did you notice JK's reaction? They both seemed like they were trying to piss eachother other off or make each eachother jealous during that red carpet moment.
JM with RM and JK with Jin. JK grabbed Jin's neck when he noticed JM intentionally acting all up close and friendly with his buddy buddy RM and the frown on his face. He didn't seem too amused with JM doing that...
- it's weird, I know, but it's also their way of reassuring eachother and expressing interest in eachother. Don't judge. It's Jikook- just look away, keep it pushing. Nothing to see here. Lol.
Had it not been for the live events around that On period, I probably wouldn't have noticed these things because the content from BigHit around the period were only showing glimpses of their interactions which again seemed like the aftermath of their breakup and not the start of it.
I think their ability to get to that space where they are each comfortable with relating freely and 'cozy' around eachother as friends depends on how soon they interact on cameras after they've gone through such periods.
If they film immediately soon after, or during, often the tension between them is much more evident like in run 116 and 117.
If they film much later from it, then you wouldn't even notice a damn thing at all. In my opinion. Especially, if you don't know the difference between Jikook as friends and Jikook as lovers.
You can never tell though if you focus solely on Jimin's behavior during such periods- because Jimin is just that guy. He doesn't bring the drama to work. He will smile sunshine through the pain and act like nothing happened. For JK it's different, in my opinion.
Jimin has a very high emotional intelligence quotient and seems to process emotions better and faster. JK is not like that. It is why I feel, he tends to put up physical and emotional barriers with Jimin and with the others sometimes when he is going through it.
They all process emotions at different paces. In my opinion.
I'm starting to wonder if y'all think Jikook is one sided at this point. Lol. Jikook is not one sided. Jimin is not the only one in their relationship. You can't focus on him alone to decide if your ship is sailing or in a good place- because guess what? Jimin can put up a show of it.
It's just as how Tuktukkers tend to focus on Tae rather than JK in determining whether they still have a ship or not. If they paid attention to JK for one minute, they would know their ship got lost at sea at debut.
I keep saying JM's 'the boy in love with Jungkook' persona is a facade. He loves JK through this facade but you have to look past it. I mean this is the guy who told Jin JK doesn't act a certain way around him, but backpedaled and said he was just 'saying it for content' when Jin called him out on it. Same guy Jk says, he intentionally acts cutes when he notices the cameras on him.
You gotta wonder what else he does just for content and for the cameras. Isn't this why people claim Jikook is fanservice?
You have to pay attention to JK too you know? They have different personalities, different ways of handling issues, different ways of loving and different ways of solving problems.
Jimin over expresses himself and tries to establish contact when he is at the recieving end of a freeze out. He did the same thing on stage with JK during Manila when he tried to have a conversation with Kook- to squash whatever issues they had been having but JK needed his space physically and emotionally.
Jimin was sat next to Suga chatting with him, asking him questions, laughing with him but the moment Suga touched him he snapped. He did the same thing in Dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK teased him with Suga. He snapped almost instantly and didn't seem happy with it- he doesn't want to be shipped with Suga and yet he is the one constantly going 'I miss Suga hyung' 'Suga and I are the parents and JK is the son"
In run 116, you could see him trying to interact with Kook even when Kook was clearly putting up boundaries with him. Had Kook not been closed off to him in that moment, we probably would never have noticed anything was off with them honestly.
And that hug JM gave Kook in the end, did you see him looking sideways as if he was doing something wrong? Compare that moment with the Siriux FM interview where he had his hands around Kook. He didn't seem- what's the word, scared.
And by the way, that moment was also filmed on the 21st of February in the US, the same day of their Rockefeller interview and the same day the On Comeback Special VLive was released- so do the maths? Was that the start of a break up or the aftermath of it?
Jimin was leaning forward in that period true, but was JK receiving and reciprocating his actions and matching them throughout that period? No. Or may be its debatable- you tell me. Lol.
Jikook behave in a certain way and give off a certain vibe when they are good and sailing- but not all such moments is because they are a couple. In my opinion.
When they get to that good space where they can be comfortable around each other, they sail as friends too.
It's just like, when they are not good and they give off bad vibes. But not all the bad vibes they give off is because they are not good. Know what I mean?
It's all up to how you perceive them and how much you understand of their dynamics I guess.
It is my understanding that, JK opens up to certain other members within the group while simultaneously putting up boundaries with Jimin when he is having serious problems with Jimin. From my observation of their interactions.
So I ask, within the period of 21st February to 28th, was he leaning towards this certain member he was suddenly BFFs with around the time of their break up or was he leaning away from him? He literally teleported away from him to be next to Jimin when they were getting back together and Tae didn't seem amused by that either.
It's Jikook, I get it. I think you need to pay attention to the way they interact with the other members within the group too? Because that's equally telling. Sigh.
It is my understanding that, Jimin is quick to anger yet quick to forgive and he sometimes glosses over things, puts a lot of energy and efforts into embellishing his relationship with Kook and presenting them as the perfect duo and the perfect relationship- which is something that I think psychologically induces the Kumbaya in a lot of Jikook shippers and influences them into thinking their relationship is perfect and kumbaya. But that's another topic for another day.
JK makes Jikook more real. To me.
I hear often, people talk about how Jimin is less touchy than JK and has personal boundaries within the group and how over the years, he has toned down on his touchiness with the other members because JK puts up a lot of boundaries for him around the members with the frying pans and what not, and would fume whenever Jimin or anyone crosses those boundaries...
But have y'all ever wondered the kind of boundaries Jimin put up for JK within the group and expects JK to uphold within the group when they are together? Hint: It's not JK's touchiness or lack of boundaries. Y'all be connecting the wrong dots. Lol.
Jk puts up physical boundaries for Jimin because that is important to him. Jimin put up emotional boundaries for JK because that is important to him. They overlap sometimes but those times are insignificant to me.
Jk's certain bonds suffer because of Jimin. And he stops respecting those boundaries when he and Jimin are no longer together and the moment they are back together, he puts those boundaries up again with those bonds- this is Morse code, if you catch on message me with it. Wink.
JM throwing his arms around Kook during a serious interview is not him claiming JK or reassuring him. JK yelling Jimin to the power Z is not him exercising right of authority over Jimin- lovers do that. Know who else does that? FRIENDS. Lol.
It's nothing Hobi doesn't do with JM or the other ships don't do.
Listen, I saw all the good bits and things that you saw in that period too and still I formed my opinion on that era the way that I did and have. And the new content from that era, Run 116 and 117 all follow the same pattern of behavior I noticed around that period and have talked about. So no, my view on that era hasn't changed.
Unless, your objective is to have me change my mind based on the 'wrong' timeline dots you've connected, then we would just have to agree to disagree. Lol.
If you believe Jikook were together during that period, I agree to disagree on it. Feel free to disagree with my opinion too.
Always ship Jikook in the way that makes sense to you. And support them while you are at it. Jikook is real. Bless you.
Signed,
GOLDY
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sweetmisschesire · 3 years
Text
Pt 2
Maysibelle (mayday)
Mayday is the last fight before eve
So the fight starts with her singing and the brothers blasting their way in
Since they dont have a guitar player they just sort of use some recordings they render to their liking to make up for it
So in their interruption imagine it like the Highway to Hell opera video, only right before the singing of the rock song starts maysibelle stops the music by snapping her fingers
She has both those mannequins neon j made for her and actual people dancing
After she stopped the music the dancers stopped with the human dancers moving off to the side of the ballroom for their own safety
This is the dress she is wearing
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And this is the mask
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And hair
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(She speaks in an aloof, emotionless tone)
“Ah so this is the infamous duo who don’t know their place”
(Z is zuke w is west)
W: and what exactly is our place
“Away from these districts, learning how to play respectable music”
Z: you all need to come off it already, what do you have against rock?
“It boisters itself as superior in music and yet now look at it. Only the talentless dare practice it. “
W: me thinks the lady doth protest too much
“How dare you. Leave, now.”
Z: sorry but not without this district
*laughter* “very well then have at you”
So the video i linked before with the three songs is what plays during her battle
(This is not a fun fight for west, gotta add some humor)
While she sings west and zuke have to dodge the mannequins as they dance towards them as a attack
They find out they’re mannequins when a mask gets knocked of one of them leaving the oulines of pupiless eyes on a blank face
W: mannequins why mannequins?
Z: seriously those things still freak you out?!
W: yes! Especially ones that dance on their own!
They also keep getting hit by something they cant really see
Zuke: what the heck is going on what is even hitting us
W: she’s got nice pipes though, but we can play better
The next phase starts with the second song and after theyve beaten the mannequins, with a head of one being knocked into her mask damaging it
The mannequins are cleared out and some life sized marrionettes drop down
W: it gets worst! Please no dolls.
Her costume in this phase is this (it was under her dress)
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And both her and the marrionette dance ballet as she sings
The difference here is the marionettes will lift up and drop down so they have to watch the shadows to see where they land
This is also how they start understanding what’s hitting them
Z: *watches a shadow fly towards his brother and hit him* so that’s what been hitting us? Bro! Watch for all the shadows on the floor, i think that’s what was getting us in the last phase!
W: why am i the one she keeps aiming for?! Lady lay off already!
Z: bigger target?
They cut down the marionettes from their strings leaving them useless with west panicking when one touches him and throwing it at maysibelle, fracturing her mask more
“I’ll get you for that.”
W: you’ve literally been going mostly after me already!
(She changes her costume during the convo, she walks behing a screen and steps out in it)
“As your brother said you are indeed the larger target. And your brother has been far more respectful than you.”
W: hey
Z: she’s kind of right though
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The skirt is a bit shorter covering her feet bit easy to move in
No assistance this time though she has fans she throws that are weapons and they still have to dodge the mystery attack
At one point dk west trips over a doll that somehow lands on the floor
W: *screams*
“..... it’s just a doll. And don’t you dare break her.
Z: bro we’ve gotta do something about this fear of yours
The end of this phase after they’ve hit her enough ends with wth west knocking on of her fans back into her mask which is now covered in cracks
“Are you incapable of anything but disrespect?”
W: are you capable of talking like you can feel emotions?
“Perhaps i should hit you harder?”
Z: you are just on fire today bro
W: what she acts and talks like she can’t feel anything
“Emotions are meant to be controlled, it is inappropriate to let others see you in such a state.”
W:...
Z:... what
W: you know you would probably have an easier time telling people how you feel eithout that mask
“Don’t you dare to touch it! I am never to show my face in public!”
Z: okay this is getting a bit uncomfortable
W: what kind of messed up logic is that?
“I don’t expect you to understand his teachings. Nor do i expect you to understand that you two could never power Vinyl City!”
W: says you and every other so called artist. Can’t wait to prove you all wrong
“I’ve had just about enough of you. Since you’ve made it further than i thought capable, allow me to show you my true power. Bask in trance techno opera, all i was ever born to do.”
Z: alright now it’s really uncomfortable
She walks behind another screen and steps out in this
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The lights center on her and the brothers can make out this black smoke like mist surrounding her a bit
She moves her hands to the start of her phantom of the opera performance and the mist moves with her
Z: that’s what was hitting us before?!
As she sings she sends out this mist that is basically like energy and they have to dodge it while attacking her
They get to the lull in the song with no singing
Z: whoever you’re doing this for you dont have to
West isnt quite following yet
“Hmm, charming. I do this because i must. But since you seem to love doling out advice, allow me to return the favor.”
“Apologize. She deserves that much from you, and more.”
Zuke is surprised by this and maysibelle gets in a hit as she goes back to singing
W: maybe focus on the fight instead of small talk?
Z: ...
W: seriously she’s just messing with ya
Z: no she’s not. I know exactly who she’s talking about
It takes a lot to get through this fight and maysibelle actually shows some signs of anger and frustration before immediately pushing them down
This is where west starts picking up on something being wrong with her
Towards the end of the song they work their way up to her and zuke manages to push though and smash his drumsticks down
Hebhad been aiming for her microphone but accidentally hit her mask finallt shattering it
The music stops as she screams and drops to her knees covering her face
W: woah man that was a bit much don’t you think? You coulda broker her nose
Z: I don’t think that’s the reason she screamed.
He notices some of the people left are peering over and sees the cameras oving to see her better
Z: *frowning* do you all not know how to respect someone’s privacy?!
They back off a bit startled at him zuke picks up a cloak that came off a mannequin from earlier and drapes it over her
Maysibelle readjusts it so the hood shrouds her face completely she grasps at the shards of her mask trying to put it back together
“can’t let them see can’t let them see can’t let them see”
W: okay what is wrong with-
Z: west don’t. Look i have no idea why you think those things. There’s nothing wrong with your emotions or the way you look
“How would you know? You’ve no experience of them.”
Z: yeah but do you either?
*voice quivers, but still remains emotionless not crying* I don’t remember my face. It’s been so long.”
W: how do you not-
Z: west. Just...why? Why not let yourself feel or show?
“I’m not allowed.”
Zuke moves towards her but she cuts him off
“Leave. I don’t need your pity.”
Z: that’s not what i-
“I said go.”
The two leave her ballroom and she calls out to them still gripping her mask pieces
“Remember to apologize. You owe her so much.”
Interlude
Z: that was super uncomfortable
Kliff appears
“What was uncomfortable?”
West goes to answer but zuke cuts him off
Z: the walk back, the fight was really exauhsting so it was uncomfortable wslk back
West gives he brother a loo and kliff shrugs
“Well good job getting another district. She was gonna beca hard one. Go get some rest we’ll take the last district tomorrow”
As the two leave to their rooms west talks
W: what was that back there?
Z: kliff keeps ignoring me when i mention how bad the nsr artists look and i dont know if you’ve noticed but i listened to some of maysibelle’s fans on the way back
W: and?
Z: they were praising her for staying “proper” during our fight, like they really do expect her to not show emotions and when i asked them about that thry say it’s what they expect of her how she’s always bern this way
Z: west there’s something really wrong with the nsr artists it’s like they’ve been... broken
W:... what did she mean by apologize
Z: it has to do with the last district.
Z: it’s nadia’s district.
This was a long one
Next one will be long too, mainly cause if the last fight with tatiana
I’ve really hurt mayday huh? :D
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just-a-fangirl13 · 3 years
Text
MacGyver s5 theories..Time jump? MacRiley? Trust issues and more
OKAY! So we finally got our first (3) SNEAK-PEEKS at 5x01 and I have soo many thoughts.
Here are the links incase you missed it: https://just-a-fangirl13.tumblr.com/post/636474561109639168/the-new-sneak-peeks-for-macgyver-5-01-are-out
Firstly let’s talk about the elephant in the room...The TIME JUMP....? 
MacGyver writers really like their time jumps. From season 3 to season 4 we lost about 18 months, and in that span of time the Phoenix shut down, Mac and Desi dated, lived together, had a pet? and a “nuclear breakup” and then proceeded to live their lives, Riley also started seeing someone then moved in and had been living with him (Aubrey) for about 6 months and of course Bozer directed his own movie. So clearly a lot happened.
This 10 month jump might not be as eventful (or can it be?!) since it seems that the writers have included the pandemic into the storyline. Now if the characters were quarantined like we were I have tons of questions..
IS THE PANDEMIC OVER IN THEIR WORLD? WAS IT A DIFFERENT KIND OF PANDEMIC OR COVID? WHAT ARE THE REPERCUSSIONS?
DID THEY STILL GO ON MISSIONS? or were they literally just doing nothing like the rest of us? *I wonder if Mac burnt down the house....hehhehe*
DID RILEY MOVE OUT? or was she stuck quarantining with Mac and Desi?
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DID MAC AND DESI BREAK UP? I cannot imagine them quarantining together for 10 months and maintaining their sanity. 10 months is a long time for MacDesi and if they survived it... It is possible them breaking up this second time around (for MacRiley to happen) just got a whole lot more complicated.
So there are 2 possibilities because we know Mac and Riley have to happen at some point RIGHT?!! *I WILL LOSE IT IF THEY DONT*
1. Mac and Desi broke up a few months in and this press release photo has more going on then meets the eye. At face value it seems like Mac and Desi might still be dating but I doubt that very much. Why? ill talk about that in a minute. Also if they broke up a few months (into the 10) that would leave sufficient time for Mac to get his head back in the game and if he and Riley happened then she wouldn't look like a rebound. (OH GOD PLEASE BE THIS!!)
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2. Mac and Desi haven't broken up but knowing their track record they haven't exactly had a smooth 10 months. Now this would mean that when they do break up eventually, (there is a certain chance they may not at all and MacDesi might be endgame...NOOO) we will actually see it happen but I dont know why the writers would want to risk pulling the show down by anchoring Mac and Desi in this chaotic relationship not a lot of us are even fans of and slowing down the whole timeline of things. This is the theory I am not a big fan of but I guess we will know in the next 48 hours.
Okay now that we have the relationships out of the way lets talk about the plot.
We know Codex isn't done yet. LeLand is still out there and they seem to be the main focus this season. Again we dont know much about this and only time will tell. 
The team does seem to be back and going on their usual missions but you have to remember there are around 4-6 episode from the original season 4 that never aired (due to covid). Plus the show runner changed so it will now be an alternation between the old s4 episodes that are definitely more Codex focused and the usual missions that might somehow tie into the big picture (even if they dont im not complaining!) This will give them time to develop the other plot lines and hopefully give us some happy moments too! (can we not kill anymore of Mac’s blood relatives? oh wait THEY ARE ALL ALREADY DEAD!!)
Another HUGE THING that I am very happy that the writers decided to tackle in terms of inter personal drama is trust issues.
As we all know when Mac kinda-sort-of went rogue towards the end of season 4, Riley was the only one who had complete faith in him while Matty and Bozer knew there was clearly more going on....BUT Russ and Desi didn't stop for even a second to consider that Mac might be doing the right thing. 
Now you have to know this. Russ and Desi are not only new to the team but the world is very black and white for them. (Desi more than Russ actually) While Russ did some very gray area things he always thinks like a soldier just like Desi. For them people are mostly good or bad. You cant do (kinda) bad things for good reasons.
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As we saw in the sneak peek where Russ doubts Mac and Mac gives Russ a piece of his mind about not trusting him, there is definitely a lot of conflict going on. (I expect Mac to have the same issue with Desi because if I remember clearly unlike Russ, Desi never apologised to Mac about holding him at gunpoint. How pronounced that issue is and if Mac and Desi break up because of it..only time will tell.) 
I have to say though Mac telling Russ off was pretty amazing. It seems like he’s finally talking his mind and not taking shit from people. I cant wait to see more of sassy Mac!!! (wonder what brought that out...hmmmmmmmhmmm)
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The events of season 4 are definitely going to influence a lot of what happens in season 5 and I cant wait!! Less than 48 hours to go!!!!!!
P.S. One more quick thing. Everyone has been saying that since MacGyver now has a LA unit Jack might be back since George Eads wanted to be closer to LA but all the shooting for MacGyver happened in Atlanta so that problem might have been resolved (I dont know how likely or unlikely that is its just something that came to my attention).
Also our favourite psychopath aka Murdoc could show up in S5 too since David Dastmalchian the actor who portrays Murdoc is also in LA right now (or at least he was till the 29th of Nov) along with Meredith Eaton for whom travelling to Atlanta is dangerous because she has several health issues. (I am happy they haven't written her out completely just because of COVID) We shall just have to wait and watch!
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sweetiejunie · 4 years
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Confessions | pt.2
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Summary: They both have their own confessions. Beomgyu had secrets. Yeonjun thought he was over you. But was he really?
Genre: fluff, angst
Beomgyu x reader, Yeonjun x reader (decoupling)
—.*•—
A/n: originally this was a oneshot but a lot of people have asked me for a pt2 and finally i thought of something!! And hope you like it!!💜
Pt1
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“Y/n shouldn’t be with beomgyu. She should be with me.”
.
.
.
Yeonjun felt his knees go weak, the air surrounding him stiffened. It was the first time he’d actually allowed himself to admit that. The more he thought about, the more he realised how selfish he was being. You deserved to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with him.
“Did you really mean that? What you said,” He asked taehyun.
Taehyun spoke softly, “I- i don’t know. I love you guys and i love everything we have. It’s just, sometimes it can get so stressful.”
“Have you spoke to our manager about how you felt?”
“Have you spoke to y/n?” Taehyun let out a dry laughed.
“Fair enough... but does it even matter? She’s with beomgyu, there’s nothing i can do about it anyway...”
They sat there for a while, gathering their thoughts. This talk has made yeonjun realise that in this whole situation, he had two options: he could either A) confess his feeling, which in turn means that he’ll be betraying his best friend or B) do something he hasn’t been able to, let you go.
By the time the had gone back down to the dorm, you and beomgyu had already returned. Snuggling up to each other under a shared blanket, laughing and chatting while the other three boys tried to pick a movie. He felt his heart clench at the sight, but had to pretend like he felt nothing.
“Yeonjun, taehyun, you’re back. What were you guys talking about for so long?” you greeted, smiling at them. A smile that made yeonjuns heart twist. How could u still have such an affect on him.
Soobin and Kai noticed his reaction and couldn’t help with give him a sympathetic smile.
“Oh nothing. I just wanted to get yeonjun hyung’s opinion about something,” taehyun lied on the spot.
“Come join us! We’re just about to start a new movie,” you continued, patting the spot next to you as an invitation.
Throughout the movie, yeonjun couldn’t help but notice when beomgyu would feed you snacks and lie on your shoulder. The way he whispered to you every so often and the little giggles that would escape your lips when he did so. What could he possible have been telling you? In that moment he shouldn’t have felt jealous, but he did. He felt awful, he couldn’t live the rest of his days like this. And that’s when he made the decision that he was going to do everything in his power to get over you. You were happy, and that’s all that he cared about.
A couple weeks passed and he tried to distract himself in anyway he could. To get the thought of you out of his head. Going to the practice rooms for longer hours, spending more hours in his studio or even just going out for the night and meeting new people. Getting random girls numbers just for the sake of doing so. Going on dates with girls he knew could never replace you. Was he doing all that just to prove a point? To prove that he was doing fine without you. If so, who was he even proving it to? He was acting as if he had just broken up with you all over again. Only this time, he was the only one hurting and hurting more than the first.
They say time heals all wounds. Yet for yeonjun, it felt like time was just rubbing salt into his. Forcing him to watch you, the love of his life, with someone that wasn’t him. Forcing him to jump into new relationships as an attempt to fill that void in his heart. He went on a few dates here and there, even met a nice girl named sophia, she was smart, beautiful inside and out, the complete package. But even a relationship her her ended, and once again, it was because of you.
What could he even do now? The easy solution would have been to run away and never see you again. But he couldn’t do that.
Another month passed. He continued spending his days locked away in his studio. Sitting and waiting. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, exactly. Maybe he was waiting for you to knock on his door again like you used to. Bringing him snack, wanting him to short breaks to spend time with you.
That’s when his phone lit up. A notification with the latest movie releases. Thats when he remembered, it was a tradition for you and him. Even while you were friends, you still made a pact to always see the newest release marvel movie together. And just his luck, a new one was being released later that week. So, he asked if you wanted to see it together when it premiered. That could have been his chance. His chance to tell you how he felt, how he’s always felt. He just didn’t realise it until you were completely gone. Or at the very least, spend some time with you again.
— ♡ time skip ♡ —
It was D-day, and yeonjun spent his time planning everything out perfectly. Yet, he was nervous. He truly did want you back, but at the same time, could he really get himself to cross that line? Was he really about to betray one of his best friends? Nonetheless, that was something he could figure out later. He had planned to meet you at your favourite diner, the one that was near the theatre. It wasn’t the busiest of eateries, which made it perfect for you to catch up again. Maybe he could even try to ignite any sparks that still flew between you. But that was all just hopes he had made up in his head.
He dressed simply, a basic black fleece coat over a plain shirt with jeans. Topped off with the cologne he remembered to be your favourite. He treasured anything and everything he could remember about you. He didn’t want to go overboard though, this wasn’t a date, he had to remind himself there were boundaries. As much as it pained him, you weren’t his anymore.
When he arrived at the diner, everything was just like how it used to be, the jukebox in the corner, the neon signs hung on the walls. It all brought back memories. Memories that were turning more bittersweet if anything. He remembered all the milkshakes you shared, all the shy laughter when you first started dating, all the times you had random dance battles in the middle of the diner. Everything came flooding back to him. And he missed all of it.
As the night continued, it couldn’t have gone anymore perfect in yeonjun’s eyes. Would he be able to rekindle his lost love, and get back the one that got away? He had spent the entire evening with you. From dinner to the movie and now he was even walking you home. Just like the old times...
“What do you mean you got kicked out of ikea?!” He asked, laughing at the conversation you were having. “How does one even get kicked out of ikea, of all places.”
“Well, you clearly have not met my friends well enough yet,” you chuckled.
“To be fair, I haven’t had many opportunities to meet them,” he defended himself. “But I’m sure they’re just wonderful people, to be able to find way to get kicked out of ikea.”
“Hey, dont insult my friends,” you laughed.
Yeonjun felt at ease. At least he could still talk freely with you and joke around like usual. He loved the random conversations he had with you. Every one of them just made him fall more in love with you.
After walking for a while more you stopped in front of your apartment building, “so this is me. Um, thanks for tonight. It was really fun spending time with you. I’ll see you soon, alright?”
But just as you were about to walk up to you apartment, yeonjun grabbed your arm. “Y/n, wait. I have to tell you something.”
“Hm? What is it?” You asked, sensing a change in his demeanour.
“I... i dont know if i should be saying this but... i love you.”
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.
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Yeonjun replayed that night over and over again. That would have been a perfect end to his night. But reality is never on your side. For the most part, everything the two of you did that night, everything you said. The entire scenario that he had been playing in his head, had happened a long time ago. That faithful night, when you went to watch your first marvel movie together, the night he walked you home and first time he told you he loved you. All that happened over 2 years ago on February the 16th 2018.
Here’s what actually happened the night of the movie. Yeonjun had gone to the bar, alone. He didn’t know what for. But he would rather be anywhere if it meant he didnt have to see you and beomgyu together. And the bar was the only place that could help with clearing his mind. So there he was, sitting at a booth on his own, the bar nearly empty. Much too early for anyone to be there as they prepared to open for the night. Him, still staring at a lonely cup of whiskey on the table with a single movie ticket to the latest marvel movie. The day before, you had turned down his offer, saying you already had other plans. And well, you and him both knew what and who those plans involved.
Right then, there were so many other thing yeonjun could have done. He could have spent his time with the other boys, playing video games with soobin or having supper and desserts with kai and taehyun. He could have went home to pay a visit to his parents, sleep in his old bed and smell his mother’s home made breakfast in the morning. He could have went to the practice rooms, see their old sets and costumes, the first place they recorded a video, the first place he met the boys that would soon become like family to him.
But none of those things was what yeonjun would have done first. What he would have done first?
If it were an option, he would have ran to your apartment, knocked on your door and confessed to you all over again, as if it was the first time.
“Y/n... I know we were over months ago. But if i could, i would rewind time. Back to when we were in love. Back to when i saw my entire future with you. Cause, you made me the happiest I had ever been. I want a second chance with you, just to have any extra moments i can with you. Even if it were just a day or even these 30 seconds before beomgyu arrives knocking on your door. I’d rather have any of that than see you with someone else. Why? Because... i love you. You may not be mine but I’m always going to love you, till the end of my days and beyond. You’ll see.”
To tell you everything he had been bottling up in himself. But could he really bring himself to go against his morals and steal you back from his best friend? He realised, from all the girls he has dated so far, even if he tried to list them all out from best to worse, there was no top three or top five. There was only a top one, you.
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Didn’t want this part to end with angst initially but when i wrote it, it just sort of ended this way 🥴 nontheless lmk what you think💕
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sukirichi · 3 years
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[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 
💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​
from track 007. 
Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 
And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'
Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls
Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ
Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)
Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT
👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️
Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it
*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...
The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.
I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩
Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃
Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)
You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...
'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.
Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.
You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.
Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly
Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩
Hfbfbfhfhfieia
[ from saeren ]
NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT
SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN
naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.
HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED
the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)
 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33
NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka
YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.
and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.
hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.
[ from @kyriaan ]
Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here
But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*
[ from saeren ] 
and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!
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name: wildheart specise: fire element draco-morphiad (explained below) pronouns: she/her
specise info: draco-morphiads are, basically, a specise of sexless magic cat furries. each one of them controls one of twelve elements (although two of them are special); fire (fire elements are also able to control one type of igneous rock, differing depending on the individual), water, earth, air, plant, plague, void (this void being concentrated everythingness and named for its pitch black color, there may only be one void element at a time and only two have ever been recorded), quantum strings (this has been proven to be possible, but never recorded), gemstone, metal, sound and light. draco-morphiads have a unique internal anatomy, their body cavity is filled entirely with liquid magic. this magic contains their consiousness and, when needed, forms organs to keep the draco-morphiad alive. draco-morphiads also have whats known as elemental bits, an extra part of their body made from their element or regular body part modified by it. draco eye color is also generally dictated by their element. just a draco-morphiad generation (they live tens of thousands of years) ago, they had an expansive interdimensional (this takes place in a multiverse) empire. but for reasons now lost to time, it fell. the specise took heavy casualties, although it was nowhere close to extinction. theyre rarer now, and... scattered, to say the least. their natural ability to create interdimensional portals doesnt help that. given that draco-morphiads are sexless, their native language's pronouns were dependant on element, but wildheart was raised by a sexed specise tens of thousands of years after the near extinction of the language (plus draco-morphiads were invented to explain her so i think she should get to keep her pronouns).
apperance: wildheart has brown fur, which turns abruptly black (like, theres a straight, non-gradiant divide between the back and brown) at the waist, so approximately half of her is black and half is brown . she has blood red eyes. fire element eyes are usually orange, but this is explained. she has a pair of half-crescent obsidian wings coming out of her shoulderblades, each one flanked by three floating obsidian triangles. embedded in her chest is a peice of obsidian shaped like a broken heart, and her claws are obsidian as well. she has a couple notches in each ear and a scar over her eye.
story: wildheart is born on a remote planet in a remote universe. save for her and her littermate, their parents and their older sibling squirreltail. soon after the two's birth, their parents die of reasons. unprepared to take care of them, squirreltail opens two portals to random inhabited parts of the multiverse and sends them through, hoping each will be picked up by someone responsible and more able than him.wildheart ends up being adopted by a family of goatlike skeleton monsters, where she stays for the first 13 years of her life (draco-mophiads age like humans up until about their 20th birthday). during this time she becomes incredibly close with her adopted brother, [edit with name later, i forgot it]. shortly after her 13th birthday, wildheart discovered her ability to make portals. with their parents permission, she and her brother went out to explore the multiverse a little.on their little jaunt, the two encountered a creature totally alien to them, and wildheart dared her brother to go poke it with a stick. unfortunately, the creature turned out to be a bear-esque superpreadator and ripped wildheart's brother to shreds while she watched.wildheart opened a portal to nowhere in particular, landing her at a market in the interdimensional void (my imagining of the multiverse is, like space, mostly empty. universes take the shape of enormous white orbs with the texture of frosted lightbulbs. their glow is soft, yet can be seen from light centuries away). scared to go back home, she wandered.and wildheart never stopped wandering. she quickly exanded her scope to universe hopping, trying her best to repress the memories and emotions from her brother's death.during the next eleven years, wildheart developed a routine. explore and universe hop, break gear, plunder something ancient for rare stuff, sell it at the interdimensional market, get new gear, repeat. in ancient tombs and temples, wildheart saw one thing over and over again. carvings of things that looked like her, had the same powers as her. naturally, she assumed she was the last.on the eve of her 24th birthday, wildheart was traveling through the market, looking for something special to get herself. wherever she went, the vendors all talked about one thing. the nearby combat arena had a new champion, a catlike (cats are p much a multiversal constant) calling herself reaper. knowing wildheart, many suggested she challenge her.wildheart was confident in her abilities, both physical and magical, so she decided that a championship would be the perfect gift to herself.
she actually proved a pretty even match for reaper, but in the end the champion won. though wildheart's energy seemed boundless, reapers patience and tactical skill were ultimately able to exhaust her.
after the fight, the two met by chance somewhere in/around the market. they got to talking, reaper asking what wildheart does for a living. finding the prospect of universe-hopping more interesting than beating the shit out of people, reaper asked to join wildheart.
reaper was a tall (for a draco) draco-morphiad with black fur, white patterns outlining the shape of her skeleton (or what it would be if draco-morphiads had those). she wore a grey hoodie. her wings, skeletal things composed entirely of ice, marked her as a water element, though her eyes seemed to contradict that (although wildheart didnt really know that). instead of the slightly desaturated off-teal you would expect from a water element, reapers eyes were pich black with pupils colored a deep, beautiful blue.
anyway, after a few weeks of traveling the multiverse together, the two encountered something strange. a universe with no glow, just a dull grey orb.
portaling inside (and quickly leaving), the two found that the universe was empty. it had experienced a heat death, something totally unnatural in this setting.
wildheart and reaper agreed that they had to find and kill whoever did this.
idk how, exactly, they found him, but that person turned out to be a being calling himself entropy, the incarnation of the void, the nothingness that came before the multiverse. while he was monolouging about a pair of beings called 'chaos' and 'order',  wildheart and reaper tried to jump entropy. entropy did not like this. he used some sort of attack that sent the pair into a strange voidspace.
sat in this voidspace was a pair of beings. a scribbled dragon, with eyes of wildheart's blood red, and a hyperrealistic marble statue of a woman with a buzzcut in a dress, with gemstone eyes of reapers deep, beautiful blue. the two were enormous, the tip of the dragons talon bigger than wildheart's entire body. they were playing chess on a table of equal proportions.
"you're back early." remarked the dragon "did something happen?"
after a bit of confusion, it became understood that wildheart and reaper had no idea who these people were or where they were.
the two giants explained that they were chaos (the scribbled dragon) and order, demiurges of the multiverse.
many googols (a number with a hundred zeroes) of googols of eons ago, there was nothing. out of that nothing arose chaos, pure unbridled creation. but without filter, chaos could not create or take any definite form. and so, it (chaos is they/it) sat as a sort of existance soup for not even they know how long. until, at some point, order arose from the void. order was filter, what chaos needed to truly create. she (order is she/it) could not create by itself either, each dependant on the other to do something they instinctually longed for. order's form was also much different from her current day form, either a ball of quantum strings or a colorless cube of indeterminate material (i havent decided). so, the two came together and created. one of the first things the two created was a pair of souls, one blood red and the other a deep, beautiful blue. each one carved their true name into the corresponding soul in the first language, marking them as the incarnations of chaos and order.t hey were to be sent out into the multiverse together every once in a while, when the multiverse needed saving or just spicing up. of course the current incarnations were wildheart, incarnation of chaos and reaper, incarnation of order. they had been sent out this time for the purpose of killing entropy, whose trail of destruction included countless universes. but for reasons i dont know yet but were probably a mistake on chaos and orders part, they couldnt do it by themselves. they needed two more of their kind (chaos was vague about what 'their kind' was because i want it to be revealed in the narrative later). idk if its the two specific dracos they meet later or just any.
theyre currently in the place behind existance, chaos and order's personal voidspace.
chaos also reveals when talking to order that wildheart and reaper are siblings, before promptly sending them back out into the multiverse. entropy has long moved on, assuming he killed the two siblings.
the story isnt too well planned from here but
after some freaking out/contemplating/whatever over the fact that theyre siblings, wildheart and reaper continue on.
eventually, they encounter Six Of Spades, child of the last draco-morphiad monarch. saen (six of spades uses saen/trah pronouns, the traditional draco neutral/no-element pronouns) is a no-element, a semi-rare mutant with, you guessed it, no element. six of spades percives this as a fault of some sort, and overcompensates for it by playing up the ‘last heir to the draco-morphiad throne’ thing. Technically, saens cousin would have inherited the throne, but saen has no cousins saens aware of. six of spades would actually make a good monarch, if not for saens general neurosis and feeling of being (mostly) superior to those around trah.
six of spades watched saens parent die in front of saen to poachers, who wanted monarch eris (six of spades's parent)'s teeth. the teeth are the only part of a draco-morphiads pure magic core that doesnt simply dissipate after death. theyre an extremely potent source of magic, thus why draco-morphiads were killed for them shortly after the fall of the empire.
apperance wise, six of spades is an average sized (about 4 feet tall) grey draco-morphiad. saen has medium-grey fur down to saens waist, where its abruptly replaced by light grey scales. saen has ear fins like a dragon, and spikes going down saens back that may or may not start with the scales. six of spades has a lizard like tail and long, angular talons. save for color scheme (monarch eris was green), the spitting image of saens parent. six of spades also wears a worn gold crown and carries a worn gold staff with a magic gemstone orb, both posessions of monarch eris
wldheart and reaper convince six of spades to come with them.
eventually, they encounter a young (about 13 year old)
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irkenheretic · 3 years
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Does Red have that one genetic disorder? What does it do to Irkens who do have it?
OOOHHH OKAY SO this is all gonna be headcanon stuff for ANX (watch me forget to tag the post as such lmao) so itll be canon divergent at points
so The Red Eye Thing, which has no formal name because why would irkens name it, is a linked gene between the gene that causes red eyes, and a genetic disorder that leaves an irken with a little extra chunk of chromosome in a sex cell that made them. (a sex cell is like, either the sperm or the egg, one of those) not an entire extra chromosome, that doesn’t happen among irkens, but a chunk.
you can’t have red eyes without having The Red Eye Thing, so yes red does have it! ^^
i just have to go on record and say that in ANX, irkens still reproduce naturally. they dont mate for fun or keep the young, but its still not artificial. smeets are also VERY IMPORTANT in irken society as they are seen as the future of the empire (like, assaulting a smeet is so universally hated that if someone is jailed for it they will 100% be killed before they ever stand trial. smeet assaulters are so hated that the control brains know this happens and they just let it happen)
so given how societally important smeets are, it tends to be Very Bad for Red Eyes that the main problem their genetic disorder gives them is infertility. theyre basically looked down upon societally because they’re unable to do a basic biological function that even smallers and defectives can do. 
i mentioned they also have hyperpigmented skin in my other ask, but im putting it here again anyway. skin colors from that hyperpigmentation can range from “dark, but still normal irken dark” to “i have never seen a skin color as dark as yours before holy fuck” these edits i did of red are what he looks like in ANX, and hes on the way far end of the spectrum- out of 100+ characters in ANX, some other Red Eyes, he’s the darkest one. the hyperpigmentation is a result of the extra chunk of chromosome lmao
also, Red Eyes have trouble detecting pheromones other irkens give off. this can be just dulled senses, or it can be a total lack of detection, like what Red has. (ur seeing a pattern arent u, red has a more “severe” case of his genetic disorder.)
the gene also causes developmental disorders which... aren’t exactly on a sliding scale per se? it’s kind of like autism where every Red Eye acts differently from each other that there’s no real “universal experience” for how this specific thing presents itself.
the red eye gene is passed on from parent to child, it won’t mutate and it can’t be carried- you either have it or you don’t. 
“but how can that be if they’re infertile!” i said infertile, not sterile. the reason Red Eyes are infertile is because, since the extra chromosome chunk was in a sex cell, at least 50% of their sex cells will be affected with the extra chunk, too. irkens have a biomechanism that purges cells with missing or extra chromosome parts (extra-chromosome irkens are relatively fine, missing-chromosome irkens are like, hatched with no brain or are stillhatches so good that thats... there) 
but since those cells are purged, that’s at least half of the fertile cells. of course if they have a more severe case, like red, it would be more than half. so it is moderatley hard to nigh impossible for Red Eyes to conceive or fertilize, depending on who it is. so since only Red Eyes can pass down The Red Eye Gene, and these bitches rarely have smeets, there’s only like.... one Red Eye per generation, maybe two.
(fun facts: there used to be more Red Eye family lines, but some idiot got it in his head that Red Eyes caused defectiveness and that most defect trials were a false positive so in order to save everyone he needed to kill all Red Eyes, so now there.... aren’t..... any more......) (yes the control brains crazy murdered that idiot. they hate him so much sometimes they go “hey remember the red eye genocide guy? what the fuck, right?”)
so tl;dnr: it’s a genetic disorder caused by an extra chunk of chromosome in either a sperm or egg that made the irken. it causes infertility, hyperpigmentation, low or no ability to detect irken pheromones, and a developmental disorder that presents differently in everyone that has it.
tl;dnr 2: irken down’s syndrome. 
under the cut im gonna go on about how society sees irkens with this condition (under the cut because.... sexual assault tw. also ableism tw)
Red Eyes are seen as... well... broken pieces of shit. before red was tallest, there WAS another Red Eye Tallest in recent history- tallest Zim. (NO RELATION to invader zim haha) zim becoming tallest made Red Eyes not be.... as hated, but there’s still this societal idea of “you are a broken piece of shit and your cells should have been purged.... buuuut if you do something above and beyond whatever it is your job is, we Might think you’re cool. also we probably won’t say this to your face but we’re thinking it really hard at you, and you KNOW we’re thinking it, so there’s no point in not saying it, but we still won’t so you cant claim we hate you. but make no mistake, we do.” so red just had, the BEST time growing up.
remember in my last ask, i said Red Eyes are liked a little too well sometimes? well... due to their infertility, they’re frequent targets for rape, especially in the military, since military irkens aren’t allowed to mate. nab a Red Eye and you can have all the fuck you want without any, er, evidence. red honestly was lucky he was constantly stickied to purple as an elite, otherwise Horrible Things could’ve happened.
was the general populace worried about a Red Eye tallest? yes. yes they were, back when it was tallest zim. they thought he’d be shit at it due to how “broken” he was. there was a LOT of public outcry, especially since zim was on the shorter side of tallests. they were ready to be all “see, Red Eyes are NOTHING,” until zim was actually an amazing tallest. he was so good the control brains liked him, and the only other modern tallest they actually liked was miyuki. he did great things for the empire, everyone loved him. when tallest red became tallest, everyone was much less worried. but they were still thinkin it, ya dig. 
is red related to tallest zim? yes, zim is red’s grandfather.
is red’s tendency to forget words a part of his developmental disorder? it could be, could not be. there’s not much of a sample size due to yknow, the genocide, so there’s no-one to compare his symptoms against. the disorder presents differently in everyone so even if red is the only living Red Eye with that symptom, doesnt mean its NOT a symptom ya dig? but im gonna word of god it and say yes it is
can you have the same chromosome thing without being a Red Eye? yes! in this ask i talk about spork having a learning disability- he has the same chromosome thing, it just gives him different symptoms because he doesnt have the specific instance that red eyes have.
can you have red eyes without the chromosome thing? no, the gene for red-colored eyes is stickied to the Extra Chunk gene, and unlike chromosome issues, which can happen to any irken, an irken will not randomly mutate a gene for red-colored eyes.
is the term “red eye” derogatory? it was EXTREMELY derogatory before tallest zim took power. now it’s just a general term for a red eyed irken, but... irkens will still use it in an insulting way. like... “queer” is the best parallel i can draw. used to be a slur, now is a general term, but some people still clearly use it as a slur against others. 
are red eyes called slurs? YES. they are targets for The Word. The Worst Word In The Irken Language, So Bad You Can’t Even Call It “The __ Word” Because It’s Too Close To Saying The Word. It Is Just, “The Word.” it used to be WAY worse before the genocide, simply because there were more of them. it decreased even more after tallest zim took power, but make no mistake, it’s still out there. also The Word translates out to “condemned obsolete bastard” with a side order of “the beginning of The Word sounds like im spitting on you and thats also exactly what it means.” its an awful slur its like if every human slur had an orgy
(was red called slurs growing up- YES.)
are Red Eyes defective? they can be! defectiveness is in the PAK, not in an irken’s biology. that’s why they’re called genetic disorders and not genetic defects, to separate them from the “we are going to execute you” defectiveness. they’re still scorned as if they are defective, though. sometimes theyre called “worse than defectives” as a jab at their infertility- like, even the empire’s worst can do that, ya dig? 
back in The Old Days, there was probably a mix of defective and non-defective Red Eyes. now they’re all defective by coincidence. 
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cake-in-a-tin · 4 years
Text
My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back
forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...
the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why
 Philosopher’s Stone
teeny harry haha
that snake is so beautiful
no post on sundays bro
hi hagrid
how did the dursleys get off the island tho
aw harry is so teeny and innocent
ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that
hermione is so great already
and you are…
‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’
haha tiny malfoy
TREVOR! + neville
that death glare mcgonagall omg
oof snape really hates harry
it's leviooosa not leviosaaa
troll in the dungeon!!!
hi fluffy
ew norbert is gross to be completely honest
creepy malfoy staring at the window
malfoy being sassy wow
‘nighty night…’ whyyy filch?
oof ron are u ok
bye hermione
voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes
harry really just killed quirrell jeez man
alas earwax
Chamber of Secrets
ah go away dobby don't be weird
yes the car with fred and george
oof bye uncle vernon haha
ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u
haha ginny is iconic
rons face when the train comes omg
ron can drive? that's impressive…
ooh a voice scaryyy
hey colinnn
eat slugs - yas
let go of his arm lockhart
uh oh colin is petrified
hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow
gosh moaning myrtle is annoying
tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh
ew spiders
lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow
yas fawkes
ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...
powerful sock…
go away lucius ur annoying
Prisoner of Azkaban
ugh aunt marge blow up already
sassy harry tm
tom is iconic
so is crookshanks tbh
the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho
yess lupin hi
ugh shut up trelawney
ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other
‘it’s killed meh!’
the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player
love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends
yay marauders map - iconic fred and george
nice snowman also
my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...
yes leave hermione
trelawney stop being creepy
take that malfoy
harry third wheeling
yas remus save sirius
"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up
die peter lol
haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely
ugh harry stop being noble
haha yes mentioning the marauders
ew stop peter
oh no werewolf
sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude
bad idea yes ron i agree
oof fight him sirius
no sirius!
the dementorssss
no harry that's not a real patronus dude
nom eat the little soul nugget nice
ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo
scabbers did it ok... shut up ron
dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious
and enter many time paradoxes
‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry
yess save buckbeak dudes
yas beautiful patronus dude
this music tho wow
au revoir sirius
I wonder how many stairs they ran up...
poor ron so confused
that bird just got squished no
don't leave lupin
please tell harry about the marauderss
i love lupin omg
ooh a firebolt thanks godfather
the ending face wow
Goblet of Fire
ooh nagini hello
yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea
dr who!
ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm
yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow
hermione's so mad 4 some reason
yes cedric diggory in a tree
everyone has long hair why
isn't just any manky old boot mate
cedric amos and arthur are show offs
feet off the table!
i luv magik
wow krum is enjoying himself
Why is draco wearing a suit?
lucius is very ominous
think ur in luvvv ron
is there no winky in this? sad
harry is so awkward omg
bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant
oh bonjour beauxbatons
wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples
wow run filch ao athletic
ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist
ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt
moody is so dramatic
dumbledore already shouting nice
why does he have so many bugssss
ah that is a creepy spider
poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks
yess fred and george back at it again
hermione ruining the vibe
HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly
what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting
igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude
hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past
yas sirius in a fire
"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)
poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew
wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie
"nyaaah"
malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character
my father will hear about thissss
omg rita get outttt
fight the dragonnnn
feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*
it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.
knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa
god just open it harry
ron ur so awkward...
harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me
oh yes the gorgeous dress robes
poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...
*babbling bumbling band of baboons*
the twins are hilarious in this haha
aw neville!
snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace
ron's jealous of viktor krum haha
love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.
given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.
ugh no myrtle stop
harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood
harry's hair when he was swimming haha
just leave them harryy omg too noble
harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can
fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation
mr crouch stop being weird
yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts
oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool
i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me
Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...
snape is so iconic wow
"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again
this music is so great
i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope
"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie
aw baby voldemort is so cute
ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama
how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??
the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters
u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head
voldemort has lovely long fingernails
lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.
"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence
bit awkward to return with a dead body...
its alright harry *shakes his head violently*
uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr
Order of the Phoenix
halfway done woo
the intro music is still a jam the 5th time
that is big whinging not little whinging
hi big D what a great nickname...
uh oh dementorrrrr
yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies
harry looks a lot like frodo baggins
yay the order is rescuing him finally
yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone
ooh kreacher
jeez hermione attack him
crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do
cute godfather godson moments yeass
arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome
ugh not umbridge ew
yes clear those charges
aw padfoot yess
wow that's a lovely coat sirius
voldemort looks great in a suit wow
didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?
yes luna!
oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd
yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend
sassy harry reaching full potential
ugh umbridge sucks wow
so evil torturing harry
yes weasleys wizards wheezes
luna is so pure and perfect
the friendship between her and harry is so amazing
yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall
trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge
oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry
yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane
yes hermione break the rules!
oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy
yay the room of requirement!
dumbledores army is so fabuloussss
nigel is amazing and i love him
wow hermione just knocked out ron haha
harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches
wow ginny is so powerful
harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh
just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*
occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun
cute christmas scenes wow
ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay
harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss
yay hagrid finally
oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss
poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair
is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference
aw all the patronuses are so cute
uh oh here comes umbridge...
noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa
oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"
no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll
grawp yess. hes kind of cutee
ron is jealous of grawp bahaha
sheesh snape chill
yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh
thats it? noo
aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!
yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!
no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo
yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )
yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr
'i must not tell lies' the sass omg
jeez how many prophecies are there wow
pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish
well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall
yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh
yas sirius!
the order yes
you're beautiful sirius
noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭
yooo voldemort my dudeee
hope the ministry has a massive roomba
the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'
nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool
ah yes angsty harry tm
aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.
luna is an icon though
we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha
Half Blood Prince
uh oh the dark mark is here
death eaters as well fun
fenrir greyback!!
oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af
dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny
ew slughorn no
wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly
slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh
im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys
oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty
oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that
yess fred and george!!!
weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg
uh not cormac mclaggen
oooh its "draco and mummy"
no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet
yes arnold!
yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald
why is draco always wearing a suit??
yes draco is going to pigfarts!
ouch why would u stomp on his nose??
yez luna save him
noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...
poor harry having to do potions again ugh
dun dun dunnn the half blood prince
poor seamus stuff is still exploding
haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol
baby tom riddle is creepyy
tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute
edgy draco in his loki suit
aw rons the only one listening
ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo
haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him
'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses
harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow
wow sneaky draco
rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.
uh oh cursed necklace alert
harry pottrr the boy who just knew
snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)
oh god they're talking about skin aahhh
noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn
ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh
haa rons outfit
ew lavender stopp
oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch
poor hermione she just loves ron thats all
aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice
angsty draco standing in a tower
"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious
luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry
draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot
no draco ur apple!
oh nvm its back dw
ugh cormac sucks.  hermione why??
at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes
draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now
cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)
ew lavender stopppp
ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd
thanks ron
stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee
why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon
wow everyones sassy including hermione now
also lav is an awful nicknname
aha tom riddle is still creepy
okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes
uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop
harry thinks the moon is divine haha
Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh
slughorn is so useless
haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name
draco being edgy again woowwww
lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one
oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager
let him cry in peace harry god man
'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound
oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.
no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont
just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better
yes the felix felicis
love harry potter like this its so funny
‘harry!’ ‘sir!’
not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*
nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes
ooh back to tom riddle being creepy
yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time
snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie
oops foreshadowing...
harry has precious blood apparently?
yay boat ride and smoothie
harry potter not harry water bro
noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry
yay new friends!!!
dumbledore ur gonna set harry on  fire careful my dude
ooh death eaterz
did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?
oop bye dumbledore
harry brooding in dumbledores office
yess RAB get wrecked voldemort
harry ur thick apparently?
aw cute friendship
Deathly Hallows Pt. 1
rusty logo wow
‘ello whoo are u
oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude
veey dramatic
aaawww hermione no
yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving
ron brooding wow
bye parents sad face
wow vernons old man
ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on
yay snape has a savey seat
pius is a great name
uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy
dracos face haha
ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross
the dursleys house looks so empty
yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee
moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.
yay remus and tonksss
shut up mundungus
blimey hermionee
'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol
wow so many harrys lol
yh  wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh
uh oh death eaters
wow parkour harry
nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie
yo voldemort wassup
oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea
nooo george's ear
jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude
george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments
uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh
ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u
harry stop being moody omg
wow george way to ruin the vibe dude
yo minister leave pls
ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u
yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great
wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro
give him the sword man
yay nice wedding
luna interrupting deep thoughts casually
xenophilius is creepy
ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.
way to crash a wedding dude
hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said
i really want that bag of hermiones
shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops
"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*
sassy harry yas
oh yes grimmauld place
oof voldys having wand struggles
hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks
aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead
regulus arcturus black yay
ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude
aw neville
oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now
uh shut up umbridge
feel like u dont need that many posters
sentimental piano playing wow
yo dobbyyyy
umbridge ruins everything omg
ron - u dont have a wife
haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha
ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss
yas the ugly plates are still in her office
oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife
nice suit harry
ouch splinch
lovely tent
kill the locket dude
dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy
yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude
harry stop being so moody bro
ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.
oh no snatchers...
ah u almost got caught dudes
ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything
lot of missing people...
haha a quarantine haircut
yes hermione ur brilliant
oh god ron stop chill
bye ron i guess lol
poor hermione
yas awkward dancing timee
awkward stares
kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny
uh oh its opening at the closee
vfd!!! an eyee!!!
ooh godrics hollowwww
oop its christmas eve whoopssss
oh a deathly Hallows
parents grave yay!
ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii
bathilda is 1 creepy lady
what are u saying my dude????
ew snake lady
chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely
ah she jumped at them
looks like a nice campsite
wow now hermiones being sentimental
oop she sat on harrys wand
wait nvm
oooh a doe a deer a female deer
dont drown harry that would be awkward
omgbharry stop undressing
oof the locket strangling him
yay ron saved him yas dude
ron kill the horcrux
u tell him hermione
nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices
yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee
aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro
their house is so cute
shut up ron god
yay we know about the deathly hallows now
xenophilius is so suspicious tho
why would you say his nameeee
noo snatchers
ooo ominous malfoy manor
draco dont doo ittt
yay dobby!
ah no hermione
aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit
yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'
nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭
"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"
yay the elder wand wow
giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air
Deathly Hallows Pt. 2
snape hi ur brooding
lots of dementys
dramatic music
waaa dobby
yay bill and fleur
yo griphook what up
the sword was in a river bro
madam lestrange? no!
oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww
wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'
oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros
ron looks great with a moustache tho
harry just broke the law jeez...
wow that cart looks fun
wow they fell from the cart nice
oh no ron broke the law too whoops
yay a dragon
lots of gold nice
yay the cup
oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg
griphook y are u evil my dude
yay ride a dragon
oops they fell no
yas they escaped
uh oh voldemort is onto them
that's a lot of dead people
oh no everyones looking for them
ah aberforth hi!
the other part of harry's mirror!
oop dumbledore was a secretive dude
ariana yas
neville!
i love neville hes so great now
yay all of the DA
luna!
ginny is being awkward
'shut up seamus' hhaha
aaa snape yooo
snape stop being a meanie
stop being angry harry
yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!
yay
uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again
stop voldemort you need a cough sweet
yes everyone protect him
haha filch is a blithering idiot wow
i love mcgonagall
run harry
boom! seamus blow stuff up!
yay the knight peeps
uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone
yes luna is so smart and iconic
go talk to a ghost harry
thats a lot of death eaters
go away voldemort no one likes u
yes go stab a crown harry
yay remus
fred and george aw
ron fake parseltonguing lol
nooo quidditch
lol peeps got disintegrated
go hermione stab the cup
yessss kisss!!!!
tonks and remus together wow
wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins
run neville!
yay ginny and neville
yay a little kiss for harry!
ooh the room of requirement
edgy draco back at it again
ooh the diadem
no dracooo
yh draco y didnt u give harry away?
aw ron loves hermione
uh oh fireee
nice work goyle
bye crabbe lol
yay hes saving draco
nice killed the tiara
oops voldemorts getting angry
snapes gonna dies dudes
runnnnn guys
lavenders being eaten
yay aberforth
yeet snapes dying
gosh naginis violent
“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said
woops bye snape
freds death is too sad
nooo remus and tonks
go watch snapes life my dude
yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)
poor harry
its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself
his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg
ooh yay his familyyy
he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'
u got this harry
yay teddy mention
"until the end" yas james
lets do this harry
wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo
yes harry be a brave man
byee harryyyy
oooh hes alive still
hi dumbledore
yes harry is a brave brave man
cool explain it to him dumbledore
bye dumbledoreeee
wow voldy u weakk bro
yas dracos alive get off me
aw neville u got this man
voldy yeeted that dead giant wow
ew snakey boi
nooo hes dead waa
poor draco such an awkward hug
oop neville what?
ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on
voldys very polite for a villain
yay harrys alive
haha dieee
run lucius wow
oof destroying the school harry really
naginis coming run hermione
u got dis neville
noo ron
yes molly!!!
y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..
ouch
bye snake boiii
neville is so iconic omg
kill him HARRY
noice
haha disintegrate voldemort
byeee
dont breathe in voldemort guys
wow harrys a mess
yay hagrid
hermione and ron are so sweet aw
harry yeet the wand
wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it
YEET
aw the friendship
yess 19 years later
wow that hair harry
all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...
should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg
THE END DUDESSSSS
12 notes · View notes
ask-the-party-god · 4 years
Text
Ask The Party God - Timeline
the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here
height references over here
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hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time
as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean
we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...
then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D
as for the others...
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my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!
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rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!
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one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)
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janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p
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grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!
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one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe
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dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!
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aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)
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sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...
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the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!
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oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!
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terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)
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troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<
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callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3
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jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)
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and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o
and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!
id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3
also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!
17 notes · View notes
modernsocialmediaau · 4 years
Text
AVALANCE AU
AU: Sara is lead singer in a band called The Legends. Her band mates are; Charlie: Bass Player, Nate: Lead Guitarist, Zari: Drummer, Ray: Pianist. They call their fans beebos. Ava on the other hand is a famous actress with an entourage; Nora her best friend, and stylist, Gary: Manager, and Mona her publicist.
“Rise and shine!” Gary screams from the downstairs, the two are the only one that took care of themselves that night. Everything was going normal until the group caught a glimpse of Ray and Nora locking lips. That’s sort of when all hell broke loose, Sara offered shots and Charlie offered drinking games. 
“If he doesn't stop shouting. I will literally hung him by his leg out in the balcony.” Charlie groans placing a pillow on top of her face, Zari pulls her much closer trying to hide her face while also burying her neck in Charlies shoulder. 
“C’mon love birds.” Sara throws a pillow at the cuddling two. As well as Ray and Nora locking lips, Zari and Charlie made a mistake locking lips right in front of Gary as well as Sara but Sara already knew. 
After an 20 more minutes of Gary shouting and John singing they finally got everyone out of bed for some breakfast. 
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Soon after breakfast the crew heads for their hike, it was a rather quiet first hour. Sara and Ava are up front leading the way, talking about god knows what while the others are behind them scheming. 
“Now that you two are settled, can we focus on those two.” Charlie points at the two blondes leading the way,
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“Charlie, Ava needs time to heal” 
“And Sara--” Nate sighs knowing how much mending a broken heart is hard, but having had a pile of broken hearts after the other tends to wound an individual. 
“Need to heal as well,” Ray sighs
“Okay but you guys can’t tell me that last night they weren’t up on each other or vibing at all.” Mona coo’s looking ahead to see the two girls examining the trail 
“So what they’re friends, what if they are—“ Nate is cut off by the conversation the two girls are having up ahead. Ava is currently holding the map far from Sara’s reach, she’s using her butt as a shield.
“Just let me see it for one second.” Ava argues
“Why Miss-Know-It-All,” Sara teases bumping into Ava catching her in surprise letting her guard down. “You didn’t” Ava scoffs, but Sara took that opportunity to take the map and run away from Ava. 
“Are you kidding though.” Mona woo’s pointing at the two playing tag with one another
“Okay but they’ve been like that since the beginning of their friendship, they’re both extremely headstrong. Sara is extremely rebellious and from what I noticed Ava is a little controlling.” Nate explains following the two blonde girls still play fighting over the map 
“What’s wrong with him?” Gary mumbles, John shrugs taking out a cigarette as they follow, everyone starts to do the same but Nora puts her hand out to stop everyone else from walking. 
“Okay new plan, do we force them to be together, or do we let them heal properly and hope that they’ll get together?” Nora speaks up leaving Zari, Ray and Charlie stuck 
“Well clearly forcing them together isn't working out,” Ray starts 
“Exactly when we do that they seem to butt heads but—” Zari continues 
“When we leave them alone they come together naturally—”Charlie adds
“Which leaves us with the question again, do we keep forcing them together? Or do we let them heal—”
“Hey guys! C’mon the lake is up ahead!” Sara shouts summoning the last four to catch up to them. 
“Well Ava leaves in a month and you guys leave in 2. Which means everyone will be gone, and your tour is going to last what—?” Nora schemes as they slowly walk trying to create some space as they scheme 
“7 month at the most.” Ray informs 
“Which means we let fate decide?” Charlie questions
“That just may be our best bet.” Zari pulls Charlie to walk faster since everyone doesn't have a choice on what to do about the two. 
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1 Hour Later...
“Who knew Mona Wu could cook?” Nora jokes as everyone is enjoying their lunch with some coffee, and tea. 
“Well if you guys actually came over for food every once in a while instead of going out to eat you’d actually see how I can cook.” Mona defenses rolling her eyes making everyone cackle. As they continue to eat Sara somehow sneaks away from the group, and of course Ava notices which means she follows. 
Nobody else notice the two girls sneak away. As Ava gets closer to Sara she whispers “Hey! Where are you going?” 
“Hey, stalker.” Sara chuckles continuing to her path, up a hill 
“I’m not a stalker, you just left and what if you get stuck or lost or something?” 
“Whatever floats your boat”
“So what are you doing exactly?” 
“Wanted a better view, better views give me better ideas, lyrics, melodies—”
“You’ve got writers block?” 
“Yup, and it’s killing me because it is literally the last song of the album and we’re suppose to record it when we get back into town Monday.” 
“Oh well then I’ll leave you alone—” There’s a pause, a part of Ava that wants Sara to ask her to stay but she can understand why the girl might want her alone time
“No wait, can I bounce things off of you?” Ava smiles before turning back around to Sara
“I’ll do my best—What do you got?” 
Sara takes her phone out and pulls up the instrument of her empty music.  The two sit for 6 minutes just trying to get the feel of the music. 
“First of all, I love the sound—do you have a concept?”
“I don’t know nothing is really connecting to me and the whole album is coming together but this song would take it to a whole ‘nother level”
“Alright let’s start with this what haven't you wrote about?” 
“Seriously?” 
“Seriously.” 
“A break up, I refuse. I’ll write about everything else but I don’t know I always feared that I’ll cry during one of the shows and crying is—”
“Disgusting—”Ava jokes
“Exactly but if thats’ the next best thing I’ll take it. So breaks up...break ups”
“How did your break up with Alex go? I know this is personal and might be a little too weird to talk about but—”
“No it’s okay, it was in the end of March and my ex girlfriend Alex broke up with me. She said that she felt lonely every time we were together because I was so busy with everything going on with my life. And she wasnt wrong—”
“Alright what made this break up hard?”
“She found somebody else, this amazing detective named Maggie Sawyer—I guess it hurt a lot because we were friends for 8 years then we dated and I just kind of assume we’d get married and do the whole house and kids thing but to be replaced so quickly hurt.”
“Do you want her back?”
“No I dont want her back but I hate thinking about her with somebody else.”
“Okay so let’s write about that mindset, you dont want her but you hate seeing her with his Maggie person.”
“That’s not bad, Sharpe. Not bad at all.”
30 minutes later
“Let’s hear it, Lance.” Ava runs back to Sara from going to the lake to meditate to hear what she’s got so far.
“It’s rough but hear me out,
So I heard you found somebody else And at first I thought it was a lie I took all my things that make sounds The rest I can do without
I don't want your body But I hate to think about you with somebody else Our love has gone cold You're intertwining your soul with somebody else
“That’s so—What the actual fuck—keep going.” 
“That’s all I’ve got so far, I was thinking of adding another chorus like 
I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone And then leaving with somebody else No, I don't want your body But I'm picturing your body with somebody else
“Yes that’s good. Next verse c’mon don’t slack now—”
“Feel free to shout some ideas—jeez this is hard.”
“Right sorry, okay same melody right?” 
“Yup, all I’ve got for the second verse is
c’mon baby
this aint the last time—
That I’ve been amazed?”
“No that doesn't make sense, what about that I've seen your face then repeat c’mon baby almost like calling her out as well as calling out to her.”
Come on baby This ain't the last time that I'll see your face Come on baby
“I hate that I can be replaced?”
“You said you’d find someone to take my place?” 
“We’re going to go with yours I dont want her to think this is about her in the slightest—then I have this crazy idea that I thought of as soon as you left ”
I just don't believe that you have got it in you 'cause We are just gonna keep 'doin' it' and everytime I start to believe in anything you're saying I'm reminded that I should be getting over it
“I love that its a shift but not too noticeable where it throws the person off”
“Thank you, then the chorus repeats—
I don't want your body But I hate to think about you with somebody else Our love has gone cold You're intertwining your soul with somebody elseI'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone And then leaving with somebody else No, I don't want your body But I'm picturing your body with somebody else
“Do you have any ideas for the bridge?” 
“I want it to almost be chant like so that whoever is listening to this is getting a looking at themselves in the mirror and my friends said I need to get over the last bit of you and so here I am hyping myself up in this mirror type of feel.” 
“Specific I’m all ears.”
“I want it to build up like this;
I don't want your body, I don't want your body I don't want your body, I don't want your body I don't want your body, I don't want your body
then how about, get someone you love? get someone you need?”
“Fuck that, get money!” Ava jokes but Sara disagrees. 
“Genius—
Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money”
“Damn I am a genius.” Ava nods 
“Right, but it needs one more line before I go on a chanting spree—”
“Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money. I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone”
“Where do you keep coming up with this?”
“Okay let’s hear it shall we?
Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone”
“That was it! Yes then obviously repeat the chorus right?” 
“Yes and thats the whole song. Thats the whole album WOOHOOO!!!” Sara shouts, pulling Ava into a very tight hug. Ava couldn't help but feel good and oddly giddy having Sara in her arms.
“Oi! Is everything okay?” Charlie waves at the two girls and the two pull away from one another
“I just finished the album you’ve got to hear it!” Sara kisses Ava’s cheek before running towards Charlie. Ava watches Sara making to Charlie, and she decides to sit down to think about what to do.
“What was that up there?” 
“She helped finished the last song of the album which means I finished the album—”
“Sara—calm down, let us hear it then?”
Part 13/?
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
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fmdjoosungarchive · 3 years
Text
location: tokyo, studios
date: april & september 2019. march, september, & october 2020
word count: 1753
tldr; verification for sung’s song tokyo. partial lyrics, full comp & prod. the song starts in tokyo, when sung is missing his boyfriend. it evolves over time to be like a diary piece and since it serves as the first ‘chapter’ in his album, it’s also kinda like an intro where it talks through/foreshadows what will be in the rest of the album. sung’s affinity for natural sounds continues, as well as inspiration from @fmdxsuji’s song arari on the composition. again pls dont come for me if it isn’t a gayageum it Sounds like one (in the equivalent of white ppl playing the ukulele but still)
not all songs needed to be about one thing. tokyo, for instance, happened to be about ten different things at once.
it’d started in tokyo. element had a tour stop in the city, and sung wasn’t feeling as chipper as he’d have liked. he loved performing with everything in his being, but-- he still rested his head against the window, watching buildings and people pass by in blurs, no other care for conversation.
sung couldn’t quite make sense of what had caused such a mood in him on the plane from seoul. he supposed, part of it was that he missed daisuke. his boyfriend wasn’t from tokyo, far from it actually, which over time seemed to have made daisuke feel a bit bitter towards tokyo. it wasn’t close enough for his family to visit, which meant seeing them even less often than he would have through touring. sung understood that. he doesn’t like being so far away from his parents the few weeks at a time that element go on tour. years sounded impossible.
but, tokyo still reminded him of daisuke. being greeted at the gate, and hearing chit chat all around him in japanese, sat an ache in his heart. after all, coming to know daisuke over the last four years was the reason he’d come to be better at japanese. passing on by, he could understand most of what was being said, and that was all daisuke’s impact. most every sign he saw reminded him of his boyfriend, the food that he ate reminded him of what wasn’t with him.
maybe, he was just sad in general. that happened to sung, sometimes. he couldn’t pinpoint an exact cause of sadness, and was just sad. underlying issues he hadn’t dealt with could be the reason that happened, but it could also simply be his brain chemistry acting up.
that was his trouble; sung didn’t know. all that he could do was sit in his feelings until they lessened. he took a walk by himself before the concert, telling his manager he can ask for directions if he happens to get lost. that time alone was really needed. he called daisuke, but it seemed the man was busy, as he went to voicemail.
“hi, honey. um, i made it into town safely. it’s- it’s kind of loud here, this might have been the wrong time to call, but, um, i just wanted to check in. maybe see your face.” he’d stopped his path, leaning up against a building to look at the sky. “i miss you already. it’s hard being surrounded by so much that reminds me of you, when i don’t have... you.” his sigh probably sounded tinny over the phone. “anyway, um, call me when you have time, please. i love you!”
sung stayed in that spot for a while, long enough that he decided to record a video of the bustling landscape around him. as he started walking again, he caught all kinds of sounds, cars, trains, planes, click clacking of heels, even a siren. he ended the video with a short facecam, so he could cut that part of the video to send to daisuke.
over the rest of his time in tokyo, sung kept playing that ten minute video over and over, and over again. something about the ambient, faceless sound of human existence was calming, comforting.
in the shower after the concert, sung kept humming the same note pattern on repeat. at first, it was natural, as his brain kept coming back to it, without his active thought towards it. however, the more he repeated himself, the more sung thought that he should be keeping his melody in his head to record after he got out of the shower. it could be useful for something, at some point, he’d reasoned.
he was right, eventually. in the flurry of trying to write songs for his first solo album, sung had turned back to every piece of unfinished song that he possibly could. one of them was this piece, broken into the sounds of daily tokyo streets, and a short humming melody. it was... workable.
sung crafted a simple piano piece based on the humming, used some of the sound from his tokyo video, and just with those two things, it was a basis to write off of. he tried to recall the feeling of that day, by watching the full video of the street a few times over. getting back to that day wasn’t as hard as he thought. papers, then his computer, were dotted in with sing-rap lines about missing someone.
only partially through mixing that vocal line in, did sung think he might be wasting his time. the sound was so different from everything else he’d been working on, much too simply and abstract. and so, the playlist of tokyo was shelved again.
with march came the end of his second solo promotions, and in came the desire to write more music. it was then he came back to toyko, to fiddle around. sung wasn’t sure what he wanted from the song, or if he wanted anything at all, which took some of the pressure off in continuing to write. he made it much more complicated, at first, adding a plethora of digital instruments that he figured he could add in live later, should he so choose. in the end, basically none of that made it into the final cut. the negative of doing whatever he pleased, was that for the most part, he’d lost the point, and feeling, of the song.
what did stay, was something sung came to find integral to the piece. modeled after a recording of his own heartbeat, there was a drum line. deep, guttural, mixed into the piece as if it was still stuck in someone’s chest, and your ear was against it, straining to hear what was pounding into you without any effort on its part.
the song had started to be about life, and those held dear, which was a perfect place to use something that sounded like the foundation of life.
stumbling across the song for the last time was entirely accidental. sung would call it fate. that melody hadn’t crossed his mind in months, but the second he heard it again, it was stuck for weeks. there was nothing he could do to quell the sound in his brain than work on it.
first, he stripped back what wasn’t working, back to the simplistic version he’d started with. after adding on the drums, the world was his oyster. over the next couple of weeks, sung started writing lyrics, mixing where he was at back in tokyo, with his feelings of self. he wondered, if maybe part of his sadness, that day, was in missing himself, too. being in that sad area wasn’t what sung liked to consider part of him. it was something that happened to him, that he dealt with decently regularly.
lyrics took the majority of his time, as he mulled over this thoughts of what the song might come to be, if about anything particular at all. the next major composition change was quite quick, though. his interest had been piqued, the first time he heard suji’s demo of arari. sung had yet to attempt using traditional korean instruments in his music. really, the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until that moment, having his heart swayed by the beauty of the danso and suji’s beautiful voice.
he wasn’t very confident, never having trained with traditional instruments before, but there was a first step in everything. he’d gone to his usual music shop as soon as he had time to, to rent a gayageum. and, simple as the piece he wrote was, it didn’t take too much learning for him to get a good recording of it. listening to it again, with that addition, sung felt how much the song benefitted from that small change, and promised himself that he would continue to learn the gayageum, so that he could make something more beautiful to show the world in the future.
sung also made a note to thank suji for the inspiration.
the next change was quite a big one, though it didn’t deal with the composition. towards the end of september, sung thought he might want to go further than he did with moonchild, and have a song completely in english. even more ambitious than before, he knew, but he also had a slight edge of confidence, after having felt the power moonchild ended up bringing.
a creature of habit, sung called up the same songwriter he’d worked with on moonchild, to request help again. he didn’t really want to translate the words he’d already written, thinking that would flow much less smoothly as a full song, but rather, he wanted to take the feelings he’d put into the korean lyrics, and match it with english.
sung tried to take a more active role in writing the lyrics that time, because it was a full song, based on his own experiences and feelings. it worked fine enough, since sung had a decent grasp on understanding english, even if he didn’t think of it easily himself.
he’d insisted they keep one of the english lyrics that was in the original piece. it was a callback to another song he’d written for the album, talking about love and hate. tokyo was a place that held those feelings, from himself and his original inspiration for the song, just like seoul had from himself for the last decade.
getting to where he wanted was harder than it was for moonchild, since they were starting from near zero, from where sung usually started his songs, and because... sung knew he was being more stressful of a writing partner than he was the last time. every word he wasn’t sure of, he asked for in-depth explanations of, wanting each line to express exactly what it was he was going for.
sung couldn’t explain what this song was about, if he was asked, not in a pretty pink bow. the song was about tokyo, and what that city had brought to sung. that ditty, on repeat, with the sounds of scratched pavement underneath. music wasn’t always simple to understand. it could be a feeling.
the last thing sung changed about the song before sending it off in his final tracklist, was a clip of him humming at the end of the song, with that siren in tokyo in the distance.
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bodytothefifthpower · 5 years
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Would you be able to go into the katya stuff if you dont mind ?? Im not sure if its being released after this so im just curious what exactly happened
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Okay so clearly after all of the speculation and hostility in the fandom recently, some people are interested to learn how exactly Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts portrays Katya. I was at the premiere at Tribeca, and I’m happy to give you a brief overview of what was shown and my opinions on it.
FROM THIS POINT ON THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR TRIXIE MATTEL: MOVING PARTS! SCROLL PAST NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT ANY SPOILERS!
So while this is a film about Brian Firkus, the lynchpin of the whole film (the underpinning that holds the story together) is really Trixie & Katya’s relationship. Which is perfectly reasonable! They are a huge part of each other’s lives, and they just happened to be filming this documentary while all of Katya’s health issues were going on. To completely strike what happened from the record would, frankly, probably mean they couldn’t use a lot of the footage they had- to the point where I really think it could’ve scrapped whole chunks of the movie.
One of the first things they show in the film is Katya gifting Trixie with dolls that look like the two of them; it really portrays their friendship in a lovely light. Trixie also talks about how much she loves Katya and loves working with her, and about how everyone got to see their friendship develop over the course of filming UNHhhh. For those of us who know what’s coming, this obviously produces a lot of anxiety. But I have to tell you: that is just good filmmaking. To create a level of suspense like that is almost Greek Tragedy-eqsue with its dramatic irony.
The next part I’m going to talk about is one of the parts everyone is worried about: Katya’s last day on set at the Trixie & Katya Show. You can tell she’s unwell; she has a very short temper and very little patience for anything happening around her. But she also says “What I need is to quit, but she [Trixie] is my friend and I won’t do that to her.” Even though Katya is clearly unwell, the perspective of the film also paints her as sympathetic. Trixie’s reactions to what’s happening really does indicate that Katya is not in her right mind, and it’s not her fault. Obviously it hurt Trixie, for multiple reasons: one of her best friends is unwell, it seems like an important relationship in her life- and we learn that she doesn’t have a lot of them- is unraveling, and in addition to that, what’s happening could potentially permanently damage her career. The fact that she handles all of those issues with such humility and grace, while still trying to be understanding towards and a good friend to Katya really, REALLY speaks to her character.
The part that is most unflattering to Katya are the text messages she sends to Trixie after the premiere of All Stars 3. She says some incredibly nasty things about Trixie. She is downright mean. For those of us who know Katya though, that is just a clear indicator of how sick she was. I think we all know Katya in her right mind would not send someone- let alone one of her best friends- messages like that. But yeah, I can see how someone might feel hostile towards Katya after seeing what she did. But again, this is a thing that happened. It’s not made up for the sake of the film, and it’s not anyone slandering Katya’s name; it’s a real thing that really happened, and the only difference is that now you know about it. And again, I would like to remind everyone that this is a film about Trixie, not about Katya. So while you do walk away from the scene feeling sad for Katya (because obviously no one wants her to be unravelling like that), you mainly feel bad for Trixie. She clearly doesn’t deserve any of the ire Katya is throwing at her, as we’ve seen her trying to be a good friend. And that is what is expected! This is a film about Trixie, you know? Of course she’s the protagonist!
Overall, through the whole arc of the film that focuses on the dissolution of Trixie & Katya’s friendship the theme is really that Trixie wishes Katya was better, because she misses her friend. That’s the take away. Not that Katya is evil or anything, but that Trixie misses her friend. So do I think the film portrays Katya in a negative light? No. I think it shows the things she did- and they were not good things by any means- but, 1. It doesn’t blame her for her mental illness or addiction, and 2. It isn’t focused on the things that Katya did, but the way that it affected Trixie.
By the end of the film, we see that Trixie and Katya are friends again. It shows them having some funny- and at times tender- interactions backstage at Trixie’s LA Moving Parts show. Katya mentions that she’s better now, and we wrap up the film with Trixie & Katya back together again, and ready to take on the world. In terms of the storyline, it does feel like there’s a bit missing, because it goes from Trixie & Katya not being friends- and the uncertainty in the air over that- to suddenly they’re friends again with no explanation. From a story standpoint, I wish they would’ve included something about how they started on the road to recovering their friendship, rather than just jumping to it recovered.
Personally, I think the reason some fans are so freaked out about the way Katya is portrayed in the film is because they hold her up as this beacon of perfection. She’s mentally ill, but she’s still so funny and personable. She’s an addict, but she doesn’t appear to struggle- or if she does, she turns it into comedy. I think she’s what a lot of people who view themselves as broken hope they can be. But she’s not perfect. She is capable of hurting people. She’s capable of making horrible decisions, and getting sick, and relapsing, and ruining friendships, and honestly that is just the reality of it. We’re all capable of things like that! But you don’t love Katya because she’s perfect, you love her because she’s real. So if you’re angry in the name of your love for her that her reality is being shown, it’s possible that you love the idea of Katya, and you love what she represents, but you might not love the man himself. Just some food for thought.
Can you imagine if Katya heard everyone freaking out about the film portraying her in a bad light? The kind of pressure that’d put on her, to feel like her fans will only like her or support her provided she doesn’t slip up? Certainly that is not conducive to being supportive of her. Personally, I think holding celebrities to a level of perfection is just unfair. I think we as a fandom need to accept that sometimes Katya may not be well, and sometimes she might make mistakes, and it’s okay to acknowledge the things that have happened, and to still continue to love her.
One thing I can tell you for certain is that Trixie is NOT exploiting or taking advantage of Katya. From a purely legal standpoint, the filmmakers would have had to get Katya’s written consent to have her in the film. Katya quite literally would have had to sign off on it. Additionally, Trixie said that Katya had already seen the film. Katya was already aware of what was going to be shown. People seem to forget that Katya is a grown-ass man with autonomy, and that it wouldn’t have gone ahead without her foreknowledge. And after watching the film, I can say with certainty that Trixie absolutely wouldn’t have kept in anything that Katya didn’t okay; she’s too good and too thoughtful of a person to do something like that.
Another major thing people are forgetting, it seems, is that this is not a movie about Katya! This is about Trixie! There is a part in the movie where she says something along the lines of: “No one will want me without Katya.” It absolutely breaks my heart to think that Trixie has no idea how much we love her on her own, how much she means to us, how funny and talented she is by herself, and how much worth she has by herself. And the fact that all anyone wants to talk about is Katya- regarding Trixie’s movie- really irks me. Because she’s basically being proven right.
My last big point I’d like to make is directly related to something Trixie says in the film. She talks about how she gave all of those vague answers about Katya because it wasn’t her story to share, and she didn’t want to make the issue about herself when it clearly wasn’t. She points out that other queens were like, “we all struggle with things! Personally, I’ve dealt with [blank]!” And while the other queens were trying to demonstrate that Katya wasn’t alone, what they were really doing was making it about themselves. I can’t help but see a parallel in the fans that are angry over Katya’s portrayal in this film; the issue is about Katya, and Katya is clearly fine with it, so when you’re freaking out over it, aren’t you really just making it about yourself?
So, there are a plethora of reasons I think people should stop sending hate Trixie’s way because of this movie:
1. This is Trixie’s story. This is really what happened over the past year. To cut half of it out would be doing a disservice to Trixie and to the filmmakers.
2. The filmmakers had final say. They shot all the footage and edited it all together. Trixie really had no part in the creation of this movie aside from being the subject of it, and it’s not fair to throw hate her way for something she had very little control over; that’s like being mad at an actor for a decision the showrunners made.
3. To cut out the parts where Katya is unwell would be a disservice to Katya, because it says “we only want you when you’re perfect.”
4. Maybe someone who is struggling with addiction or who has a loved one struggling with addiction needs to see something like this! No one is being helped by just sweeping all the ugly parts under the rug.
5. Both of them have seen the movie, knew what was going to be shown, and were clearly okay with it because it went ahead and made the final cut.
6. It’s not anyone else’s business how either Trixie or Katya live their lives, or what they choose to share with their public.
7. Katya is not painted as some kind of monster. She’s painted as someone who is mentally unwell, sometimes sympathetic, sometimes not, but ultimately as a flawed human being, who does in fact get a redemption arc!
8. This is a movie about Trixie, not about Katya, and I think people need to respect that and stop shifting the focus.
In conclusion, what I walked away from this movie with was that, yes, it was very sad and at times disturbing to see Katya so hurt and broken. But more than anything, I walked away with an appreciation for Brian Firkus. For how selfless, and caring, and giving, and hardworking the man behind Trixie is. If you get a chance to see Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts I highly recommend you do so; I hope you’ll be just as in awe of Trixie as I am.
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