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#brooklyn 99

“But now it’s time for us to give to you. Here you are standing on the precipice of something so much bigger than anyone here. And it may be frightening and filled with doubt. But always remember: you are not alone. Everyone here is your family. We are your world. And we will cheer you on with delight in our eyes as you achieve your wildest dreams. So raise a glass.”

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And now may I present to you my latest project:

I’ve seen loads of Brooklyn 99 Intro edits for different fandoms so I thought I’d give Dungeons and Dragons a shot. In my opinion, the title credits to the show are completely shit compared to some of the other cartoons of the same decade so I think this is how every episode should start from now on.

(Please don’t ask how long this took me cause I’d rather not say)

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Pairing: Jake Peralta x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N feels lost in the shadows at the nine-nine. When a job for her opens up with FBI, she jumps at the chance, not realizing she might be missed by a certain goofball detective.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none


I tried not to burst with happiness as I rode the elevator up to the precinct at the start of the day. Last night, I’d filled out my paperwork for a transfer into the FBI, and I just needed to bring them in for Captain Holt to sign and release me into the special agent universe. It was a dream come true. Not mine, but someone’s, I’m sure.

Keep reading

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*Dick and Jason are arguing during patrol, but Dick gets stabbed*

Jason: I want you to stay calm and try to keep all of your blood inside your body.

Dick: Bitch, what do you think I’m doing.

Jason: Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.

Dick: Now bring your ass down here so we can finish our conversation.

Jason: We can do that later, Dick.

Dick: First of all, I have so much adrenaline pumping through my body right now I can feel almost nothing. Secondly, you can’t say no to me I have a knife in my back!

Jason: Yeah, that tracks. Okay fine.

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Ivan: At the BBA, they let me do whatever I want, as long as I’m getting that job done, and you know I am. Last week, I waterboarded a dude.

Sergei: No, no, no, I don’t mess with computers, okay? Ever since I died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, I was like, no thank you. I’m done with this. 

Bryan: Great, who are we killing? I won’t do kids. That’s a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid’s a dick. 

Yuriy: It’s like an eclipse. You should always look at it with both eyes wide open. Full on.

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Sole Survivor: Cause I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I’ve only had Dogmeat for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

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