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soulren · 10 months

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Go spend some time on male pattern baldness or male(AMAB) balding forums/subreddits and such. I did after realizing it is happening to me and the ammount of people who truly don't realize how BRUTALLY it tanks people's confidence and mental health is insane.

There's no cure to baldness by the way, and it can start at any time and there's no way to predict how fast or slow it will go. The only real working option is a daily pill that usually just halts it, but it can stop working or just slow it down or cause major side effects. To regrow you have to use a daily topical solution, or use a roller to wound your scalp. None of these are surefire by the way, and if you stop them you'll just lose your hair and whatever you regained. It's a daily involved thing that might not work and often at best just retains. The best drug, the one that occasionaly gives regrowth, also causes shedding at the start, and can have side effects from growing breasts to brain fog to EDsyfunction(sorry, censoring cause tumblr). Now, those are INCREDIBLY rare and almost never happen but it weighs heavily on the mind of those already spiraling.

But that's just background. What I'm here to talk about is the pure woe you'll see on those forums. People speak as though their lives are over, as though they've lost every chance of finding a woman(predominantly, there's a running idea in such places that women don't like bald men or like them less) or doing anything. You can read countless stories of people who describe that they no longer go outside, are now filled with anxiety and self-hate, have gone from extroverted to never showing their face. And some of these people are kids who lost their hair in high school or even before, or are holding as best they can to a very receded hairline and feel like there is nothing they can do.

And then there's something touched upon far less in those communities, but is important to bring up here; baldness and masculinity. There's the horror of knowing so much of society sees a bald guy as a very masculine guy, at seeing that the best advice for being hot and bald is "grow and beard and big muscles bro". Imagine now you're AMAB balding and nonbinary, or a trans woman who doesn't want to be on hormones.

Just genuinely take the time to look at those forums no matter who you are. Understand what these people go through, what I am currently going through. It is soul-crushing, spiraling, brutal. I have the dream of one day being like Brennan Lee Mulligan or Matt Mercer and starting to lose my hair made me feel like I could never. I felt like and still feel like I would have to be masculine, have to be a bro-y dude, have to look older than I was(I'm fuckin 22). It was the feeling that I could never dress feminine again, never present as a woman when I wanted to again, that I'd always be viewed as a bald guy before anything else.

This is an incredibly vulnerable post for me, and I hope it reaches you all as well in a kind and understanding mood. There's a tendency online for people to joke about baldness, to make fun of it, to treat it as a playfull silly thing but it fucking ruins lives, and it shouldn't. It happens to half the population's sort of bodies and very often. It should just be a neutral thing. You don't need long hair to be feminine, you don't need hair to be feminine. You don't need hair for anything. I guess I'm just saying in general that everyone should be kinder about balding, more understanding, and view it with as much import as they'd view the pixels between this sentence and the next. None at all, I mean.

And for those like me, very feminine guys who wanna keep that and don't want a beard and are terrified of balding, here's some names and I do hope others that see this will add more; Mr. Bruce (also in The Correspondents(band) Alex Ward in LA By Night Jason Carl in LA By Night Cecil Baldwin of Welcome To Night Vale Bob The Drag Queen RuPaul(in looks alone, I know about the whole fracking stuff but this post is about looks) tananasho on instagram Also your mannerisms and style of dress will convey femininity far more than your hair. Yea sure a front-on neutral shot of you may not and maybe you need makeup and stuff, and hell maybe a lot of people might reject you more but it'll just filter down to the people for you.

And to all you artists and writers and creatives; make more bald characters. Try it out. Feminine ones, masculine ones, all sorts. None of the copout nonhuman sort, just dudes and girls and mates and individuals who are all sorts of things and also bald. It might make a few of the people going through the various vortexes of pain that balding causes feel a bit better.

And to those noticing I did not adress female hair loss much here, that was intentional. I am AMAB and currently a nonbinary guy who goes by any pronouns but often likes to present as fem. I learned I was possibly losing my hair and lost two months of my life, no work or going or anything, to male hair loss forums and research and spiraling. Checking my hair twenty times a day, unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to think. And my situation was NOT unique, but it also did not give me any experience or understanding of female hair loss and what AFAB people may go through with that, so I don't feel knowledgeable enough to speak on it. Also living with baldness WILL get easier and you will find something that works for it, by virtue of simply living with it. Things get easier with time.

#bald #balding #hair loss #hair #hair care #minoxidil #dermaroller #baldness #bald and feminine #bald fem #using a lot of tags due to this being triggering for many and cause I want it to be seen #and because I want those who went through what I did to be able to find it #mpb #androgen alopecia #also I know this post is long but I'm not sorry cause it's important. If even one person has a bit less stress then that's good.#feminine bald man

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white-spirit-of-darkness · 1 year

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i am gonna fight the fucking universe. it started it im only gonna finish this

#got hit with a combo of the only exception lyrics+and alaska reference in the same random post #oh so the universe chose violence? square up bro bc i don't have the patience for that today #mf i am gonna have a good fucking day and if i have to beat your ass before i WILL do it #anyway. more woes about my ex. no one is surprised here.

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126dvtn · 2 years

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— siiiiiiigh.

summary : the genshin men are totally not jealous.

cw : jealousy ; miscomm ; implicit possessivness

genre : idk bros can't call it fluff ; established relationship

characters : childe, diluc, ayato, scaramouche

childe ; oh, the pain! the agony!

if there's anything you don't want to do, it's making childe jealous. he'll go about his way, strolling the city with you, all while heaving dramatic sighs that catch the attention of passersby. frequent are your attempts to get him to stop. and he does, for the most part- but only when your attention is on him. let's say, a friend of yours comes up to you to say hello; a long time no see. your lover, who was well-behaved up to this point, prepares himself to start his performance.

"childe, i'm telling you- they're just a friend i haven't met in a while!" you pinch the bridge of your nose, embarrassed. the friend in question could only laugh; whether from discomfort or amusement, you'll never know. "my sweetheart is leaving me for someone else, right in front of my eyes! oh, woe is me!" and you swear he'd contemplated falling to his knees on the spot. there're many responses from the strangers around you. some snicker, some scuttle away as fast as they can. you can only stare in horror. finally, after muttering a quick apology to your friend, you grab your wailing lover to flee his stage.

diluc rangvindr ; silent woes.

when diluc is jealous, he doesn't let you know about it; at least not directly. he'll spend hours in his office, only leaving the room to check if you're still there. asking him if anything's wrong would result in a nonchalant "nope"- and then back to his work burrow he goes. it's obvious, however, that something is bothering him, and you're going to get to the bottom of it. a knock on his door wakes him from his dejected trance.

enter you; diluc's antagonist on this dull day. as you lean against his desk across him, he turns ever so slightly away despite the magnetic pull of your concerned eyes. "i know something's up, luc. talk to me." silence greets your ears. so you try again. "diluc, tell me what's wrong- we can work this out together." and his looming eyes meet yours. the sulking man leans back, crossing his arms- his assertion diluted by the pout on his face. it's a full minute before his much anticipated explanation leaves his scowling lips- "why'd you hang out with kaeya without me?"

kamisato ayato ; i would never-!

now, ayato acts like everything is okay. the keyword here is "act", and it's a known fact between you that his acting only peaks when it comes to business. with you, however, his gestures give his jealousy away. all attention is on paperwork. not a glance spared, save for when you call his name and he responds with a restrained "yes, darling?". you best believe he doesn't plan to actually answer you until... well, until you pester him for long enough.

and pester him you do. ayato looks at your hand covering the documents before him with amusement in his eyes. "is this because i went grocery shopping with thoma just now?" your ask is genuine. but lord forbid he gives a straightforward answer, for his reply is an eyebrow raise, coupled with an innocent "oh?". frustrated, you clench your teeth- if he won't be straightforward, then you will. "you're jealous, aren't you?" he continues feigning ignorance. "me, jealous? as if!" he tilts his head, but upon your serious expression, he stops- his visage starkly turning stern. "yes, i am jealous. you do know that you're mine, do you not?"

scaramouche ; that of which is unusual.

acting normal is the last thing scaramouche does when he's jealous. the abnormality here isn't in his expression, no; the irritated twitch in his eyebrow is an everyday occurrence- what with the constant incompetency of his subordinates. it isn't in his words, either. you can almost proudly say that his berating of anything inconvenient is like white noise in the background. what is meant by 'unusual' here is his heightened sense of romance in a random situation.

"um... scaramouche?" your hand travels to your hip when a strange sensation graces it. "what." curt is scaramouche's response; but the sting in it isn't directed to you. "your hand-" "yes, i'm aware that it's on your waist. what about it?" well, you think, at least he's aware of it. you decide not to question it further. but it's a matter of time until you notice that his glare hasn't left a particular area in front of you- and tracing his line of vision leads to a person shifting stiffly in their seat. as if sensing your shared gaze, he finally speaks up. "the way they looked at you pisses me off. shall i show them you're mine?"

#genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #diluc x reader #ayato x reader #scaramouche x reader #genshin x reader

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heckinconfusedparade · 2 months

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Woe! Sonic character headcanons be upon Ye!

Sonic:

- Learned how to cook while raising Tails and got really good at it

- Hedgehog Gordon Ramsay

- Can’t bake for shit tho

- Made up a lullaby that he sings to Tails to help him sleep. It’s been effective since the kit was 4

- In the warmer months, Sonic scouts out nice places for his annual picnic with Amy. He loves hanging out with her and enjoying sweets!

- Has a memorial for Chip with his necklace somewhere hidden

- Ran before he could walk

- Bothers Knuckles on Angel Island at least twice a week

- He and Shadow spar every week

- Bro has a bunch of Knick knacks and trinkets from his adventures

- Has a lazy day every once in a whilel

- He does vocal warm ups every morning as part of his little routine, even if he doesn’t plan on singing that day. It’s good to warm up before doing a lot of speaking!

Tails:

- He’s so sweet but so sassy

- Will sass a grown man to death

- Hugs people he really loves with his tails included

- He has a blacksmith place somewhere

- Had to have an intervention for his mint addiction (unsuccessful)

- His love language is gift giving! His gifts are one of a kind

- He made Shadow a gun for Christmas. It has bullets that explode on impact. It’s a tiny rocket launcher

- Used a chaos emerald to give a box Chaos Control so he can warp stuff back to his workshop

- the box defies logic, and he can fit literally anything in it

Amy

- If anyone insults or puts down her besties it’s ON SIGHT! EVEN IF ITS THE BESTIE SAYIN IT ABOUT THEMSELF (looking at you, TAILS)

- Refuses to let anyone go hungry. Angel to anemic and diabetic community!

- Spars with Knuckles to practice her hand to hand combat

- Meets up with Sonic in the coldest part of winter so they can hibernate together

- Loves her picnic dates with Sonic!

- Got Vanilla to homeschool Tails so at least the kid can have credentials to go into higher education in the future if he wants

- Loves thrift shopping! One man’s trash is this gals treasure!

- Crystal girl

- Shares Taylor Swift album theories with Shadow. They both go crazy for it

- She took Cream, Rouge, Blaze, and Sticks on a road trip. It was the most chaotic thing to hit the roads that summer.

Knuckles:

- is the reason a mountain has a giant crack in it

- vibe checks buildings for faulty wiring with his electro signal echidna stuff

- Bro moves the soil around his island to promote healthier plant life

- Bro is the single teen dad of many many many Chao

- Tries to leave the island whenever he can. He has a map of places that Sonic marked because they made him think of him!

- Taught Tails how to throw one hell of a punch and how to use his namesakes in combat

- Secretly looks forward to Rouge’s visits because he finds the sparring fun

Shadow:

- His room is usually only illuminated by a lamp because the sun shines directly in his window, and the ceiling light is too bright

- the lightbulb in the lamp changes colours. Rouge calls it his Mood Lamp

- If Sonic doesn’t show up to their weekly sparring, he gets concerned and indirectly searches for the dude. He’d rather die than admit he’s concerned tho

- Taylor Swift karaoke night with Amy

- Plays Project SEKAI

- Has a garden full of beautiful flowers dedicated to Maria. Amy and Sonic helped find flowers and seeds, and Knux provided the soil. They didn’t ask to get involved, nor were they asked, they just found out from Rouge and decided to help Shadow out

- He cannot fucking cook

- He cannot fucking bake

- There’s very few things he can actually make BUT HES LEARNING

- Learning to enjoy life as it happens. He’s stopping to smell the roses and appreciate what he has right now, and tries not to lament about the past or future

Rouge:

- Sometimes visits Angel Island just to bother Knuckles

- She has a pair of boots that has spikes on the toes

- Taught Tails how to steal

- She’s Cream’s favourite guest to bring to a tea party because of all the drama she brings with her.

- Is the reason Tails is a gossip

- She played Thief Simulator and had the greatest time ever

- Watched analysis videos of people trying to solve heists she committed

- Pretended not to listen when Amy infodumped to her about crystal energy, but she actually finds it very interesting

Omega:

- Trusts Tails with his life

- Because he can’t fit through doors or knock without breaking them, he stands outside the window waiting for someone to notice him outside

-or he just breaks the door anyway because why not

- Loves fireworks, wants to fire them on his own

- Absorbs every insult he hears Sonic make, as well as searches up on the internet to add to his database just so he can insult Eggman in a way that matters.

#I’ll make more another time idk #could be an empty promise #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #tails the fox #knuckles the echidna #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e 123 omega #sonic headcanons

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kairoot · 4 months

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EMAILS I CAN’T SEND. 💌 JAKE SIM.

PAIRING ▸ non!idol!jake x fem!reader

GENRE ▸ exes to lovers, college au, fluff, angst, social media au + irl

SYNOPSIS ▸ you and jake broke up about a year ago and he made it his mission to forget everything about you. you’ve always wanted to send him a text or even a voicemail about how much you missed him but you always held back. that was until you two met again.

WARNINGS ▸ cursing (tiny bit..), suggestive jokes, mentions of alcohol, heeseung gets high sometimes, more will be added as the story goes on. [please know that i do not condone any of these things for they are for FICTIONAL PURPOSES ONLY!]

MILAN’S NOTE ▸ hii! this is my 800 follower special!! and also i wanted to make a new smau.. but here you go! thank you guys so much for 800, i appreciate all the love and feedback i’ve received. 🥹💕

💌 TAGLIST IS OPEN !

PROFILES 💌

sabrina carpenter die-hards | drunk-delulu

📥 INBOX ↓

01.) DSMD (depressed single man disorder)

02.) fym ‘yuh-uh’ ?

03.) king bee (the parties and boobies in question) [2.7k]

04.) bros before woes

05.) last time i saw you

…more to be added

TAGLIST: @wonifullove @kgneptun @thesunoosshining @lostwonderwall @ariadores @haechansbbg @mrchweeee @instant-joy @jiseokzzz @n-eetune @wntersm @wonyofile @jebetwo @sussycheetos @ilovecats923 @hyuckscore @laylasmother @jakehooni @fertiliezedtoesw @ghostiiess @zyvlxqht @adr1an4 @sasfransisco @reallyspaghetti @143ikeu @enhaslxt @judeduartewannabe @ilovejungwonandhaechan @belovedsthings (message, comment, or send a ask to be added)

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ppnuggiex · 9 months

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Howdy! I saw requests were open, but if not then please do ignore this one!

It's kinda crack? But mostly angst to comfort, essentially something goes wrong in reader's alchemy class and they get hit by an extremely strong spell that makes it seem as if they're dead, but really they're just in a super deep sleep. So once the spell wears off, they wake up right in the middle of their own funeral cuz everyone thought they were dead. Gender neutral pronouns for the reader with riddle, kalim, malleus and floyd as the love interests! In headcanon format as well pretty please!

　　　　　　TWST x gn reader

　　　　『　riddle ,, kalim ,, malleus ,, floyd ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> reader gets hit w/ heavy deep sleep spell n characters think theyre dead

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, a bit of angst

　　— this ended up being a little more on the humorous side 😭

- kalim

| • hes so distraught ,, hands on his head as he freaks out and shakes you violently . jamil finds out and facepalms . mr crewel told him nothing was wrong ,, to just give you time but kalim couldnt .

| • he swore you had died ,, and because of that he done held a big fancy funeral . he done invited all the dorms and everything .

| • you woke up when he was in the middle of talking about how you were such a nice and loving partner ,, how he wished you didnt have to die this soon .

| • get this man a tissue bc he starts bawling when you whip that coffin open .

- riddle

| • hes a bit more calmer than kalim in this situation ,, taking care of you whilst you sleep . but he always felt like something was off .

| • that was until one day he went to check up on you ,, your skin was oddly cold and he couldnt feel your breathe or see your chest move when you did breathe .

| • he may or may not have panicked at that point ,, checking your pulse and not feeling anything .

| • riddle thought the spell done killed you then ,, after all you didnt have any sort of resistance to magic so it was a possibility .

| • cue him tending your funeral and trying his best not to start crying in front of all those people .

| • you were his partner ,, his life and joy and now youre gone . or so he thought until you threw that coffin door open and smacked the person speaking right in the face .

| • and standing up in the coffin and falling face first out .

- malleus

| • bro acted the same as kalim . he did not stop to think about checking your pulse or anything . his immediate reaction was that you died . and all the sudden it started to rain very hard .

| • he starts acting like a child who lost his mom ,, panicking and shaking your body as much as he could .

| • then he pulls out some shakespeare typa shit ,, going on about how woe is me ,, my beloved hath died ,, taking from his grip as your soul was dragged away from him .

| • he has a small funeral for you ,, ready to speak for you when a miracle happens .

| • you awaken !! malleus is so shocked he gets a little teary eyed ,, running over and making sure youre okay before getting all baby girl .

| • in the end you walk out carrying him bridal style whilst sebek is fretting over his image .

- floyd

| • he thought this was one of those pranks people do to their pets . where you record yourself pretending to be dead to see what your cat does or something .

| • so he kinda ,, kicked you a few times and is all like ,, wake up shrimpy this isnt funny .

| • then jade has to break the news of the possibility you mightve been struck too harshly by the potion and maybe youre just ,, yknow ,, passed on .

| • floyd refuses to believe it ,, you couldnt have left him . you wouldnt do that to him . you wouldnt abandon him like that .

| • as much as he hates to admit it ,, he definitely cried a bit that night . he shows up for the funeral ,, still in disbelief youre dead .

| • but boooyy is he whipped when you ended up being asleep . he doesnt care who’s there ,, he runs over and rips you out that coffin so fast .

| • blames you for worrying and leaving him ,, and makes you promise not to do something like that again .

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merakiui · 10 months

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Hear me out Mera.... STEP BRO IDIA!!!!

He is so nasty and grimy! Ew! He finally gets to fulfil his nasty hentai fantasies with a cute lil sis who will call him "onii-chan". He desperately tries to convince himself that this isn't disgusting because you two aren't related, but he dresses you up with so many disgusting outfits, your parents just assume that it's "cute sibling bonding" because they're 'normies'.

He forces you to call him onii-chan and disgusting weeby things. He makes you watch hentai with him while he plays with you. He puts his 'imouto' on weird sex machines he makes as a tribute to his favourite hentais.

Nasty nasty! If you try talk to Ortho about it, Idia programmed Ortho to malfunction and turn off when you interact with him, so help is not an option.

OMG OMG YES…… slimy, nasty, disgusting step-brother Idia!!!! You’re the only girl he’s ever talked to, aside from his own mother, so naturally when you’re right at his fingertips, so accessible and always just down the hall, it’s hard to not see opportunity at its every angle. You’re the first real, 3D girl he’s ever had these thoughts about, which is strange for him because he’s always been so against 3D. But you’re cute and sweet and you don’t judge him as fiercely as he thinks others might if he steps outside of his room… It doesn’t matter if the two of you are the same age; he’ll still want to be called nii-chan because it sounds so cute coming from your lips, and he giggles and grins each time you shakily say it.

You’re dressed in all sorts of things. Idia says it’s cosplay, but can this really count if most of the outfits feel more like skimpy lingerie? You’re dressed like a maid, a succubus, a hucow, a schoolgirl, a catgirl, and so on. Idia takes too many pictures of you, and you feel incredibly awkward each time (especially when he boldly insists on snapping panty shots because of course he’s also made sure you’re wearing panties that fit his tastes).

I think the first time Idia sees your pussy his brain does,,,, a mental reset and trips over itself because wow this is what 3D pussy is like??????? :0 he’s such a loser… he’s gone as far as fingering you, mirroring the movements in a hentai he’ll put on for you to watch while he’s spreading you open, but he’s never actually fucked you before. He lets machines do the work instead, and they fuck you for hours while Idia grinds dungeons with Muscle Red, his headphones tuning out your gasps and desperate pleas for him to turn it off (or turn up the intensity depending on how mind broken you are). It gets incredibly lonely on the Island of Woe, so you keep Idia plenty company in…unorthodox ways. He tries all sorts of sex toys and machines on you; you’re like his little lab rat.

Maybe he even considers whoring you out to Azul while he’s at NRC (because he also convinced Crowley to let him bring you <3) so he can get footage of real-life tentacle hentai. >:) if Azul’s not up to it, the twins will indulge Idia and his monsterfucking fantasies, but they can’t (and won’t) promise you won’t be knocked up by the end of it. And maybe STYX Idia makes you get fucked by simulations of the Overblots or he lets you get fucked by some Phantoms and and and OOOOOO orz

#twisted chit chat #n/sfw #tw: stepcest #video-game-luvr #he’s perfect(ly gross) <3

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perfectlywingedsilco · 2 years

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Posting full pic for your enjoyment, including suggestion of Heimerdinger by @ink-and-dagger.

#heimerdog #best boy #silco #marcus #bros before woes #the perfect family exists #arnolfini portrait #art meme

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ijuststareatstuffhereok89 · 3 months

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"Time & the Trickster" A Loki/Doctor Who crossover

by ijuststareatstuffhereok89

Chapter 1: A Birthday Surprise

After getting a call from your mischievous brother asking you to bail him out of jail (again), you meet a curious man who claims to be from another reality. But getting him home from jail is just the beginning of your woes.

CHAPTER WARNING: none

Previous Chapter (Prologue) - Next Chapter MASTERLIST

He didn’t know it was possible before now, but Loki’s headache was even worse as he came to again, immediately finding himself in a new, startling situation.

Loki lay on his back, spread-eagled on a frigid concrete floor. The hot-pink fleece throw was laid strategically over his privates (as if it did anything!). The ceiling was the same bland hue as the floor, but the shadow of a wall of steel bars fell over his face, complicating the view. Two of the four walls of this cold room were made of bars. The other two consisted of solid rock, littered with graffiti and etchings.

It was a prison cell.

“Of all the nerve!” Loki muttered bitterly, sitting up as quickly as his migraine would allow. “What am I doing here? Guard? Soldier?”

“Hey, what’s your story?”

A diminutive man with tanned skin and wearing a baggy black muscle shirt underneath a denim jacket four sizes too large, sat on the only bench in the cell. In his panic, Loki hadn’t realized that he wasn’t alone.

“Where am I?” Loki asked for what had to have been the hundredth time that night. “Please, just answer me.”

His cellmate shrugged. “They brought you in already knocked out, huh?”

“I…suppose they did, yes.”

“You’re in the tank, the police station off Clinton Square. You’ll be out once you call someone and make bail.”

“I…I have no one to make bail for me,” Loki said sadly, rubbing his forehead. “At least I don’t think so. I’m beginning to get the feeling I’m alone on this plane.”

The man looked sympathetic. “Maybe when my sister gets here she’ll get you out too. You just got into a street fight. Can’t be more than fifty or a hundred bucks for you.”

“Sister?” Loki asked.

“She always says its the last time she’ll have my back, but when you’re all the other one has, I guess that’s always up for negotiation,” the man reasoned. He got up and removed his large denim jacket, laying it over Loki, who gratefully laid it over his lap. “What can I say? I love a good bar scrap!”

He stuck his hand out at Loki, who paused before taking it. “I’m Joey, by the way.”

“I’m Loki, pleasure to meet you,” he mumbled.

Joey snickered and rolled his eyes. “Oh, okay, I was gonna bring it up, but you already know how much you look like him, but maybe you still have vodka on the brain. The cops here won’t buy the ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’ thing, you know. Trust me, I’ve shared a cell with Hugh Grant, Barack Obama, two Jesus Christs and a Chris Evans.”

“Look, Joey, I really am, I mean, I need to find someone--”

“--Just keep your head down, bro. I bet my sis will be here any minute with her wallet full of freedom.”

It always rained on your birthday. Every single year.

Here it was, ten o’clock at night, and you weren’t even at the bar with your friends or trying to pick up a date. Instead, you were angrily running down the wet sidewalk that ran parallel to Clinton Square, holding an umbrella that did fuck-all to keep you dry in the downpour, on your way to bail your little brother out of the drunk tank. Again.

There was a reason everyone who knew your family called him ‘Jailbird Joey.’ It seemed like his run-ins with the beat cops in towns were becoming more frequent with the years putting distance between you and your parents’ untimely deaths. Granted, he was never run in for any charge worse than public intoxication, but it was still an embarrassment. You were hoping that he would’ve given you a break for your damn birthday, though.

If he weren’t your only family, and if he weren’t really just a diamond in the rough, you would’ve thrown him out of your apartment by now. Sometimes, you thought if he could just get out of the city and see more of the world, perhaps he’d find something to motivate him to set a goal or explore a new life path.

As if, you sneered to yourself, walking up the steps of the police station. Nothing ever changes.

It was such a typical event for Joey to call you for bail that the receptionist at the front desk of the precinct nodded and mouthed your name while listening to whoever was engaging her on the phone. You were getting to know everyone at the station so well, at least one of the cops was thinking of inviting you to his daughter’s bat mitzvah.

“Hey Martha,” you sighed. “Can I go back?”

She nodded silently and pointed to the right, down a long white hallway. You walked right down, not even bothering to sign in like you should have.

You reached a second desk near a heavy, locked steel door. A familiar face, large and red, greeted you with a knowing nod.

“How much for him today, Jim?” you asked, as if you were asking for a cut of beef instead of your brother’s freedom.

“For both of ‘em...two-hundred.”

“Both?” you asked. “I’m sorry?”

“Joey said you’d spot his new pal, Naked Jake,” said the cop, shrugging casually.

“Oh come on, Jim, it’s my birthday, can’t you cut me a deal? I didn’t ask for--”

“--sorry, judge sets bail,” he said harshly.

“Well, I’ll pay his, but as for his mooch friend, he can rot,” you said angrily, digging into your wallet and throwing down a hundred dollar bill. “Not sure where he got the idea that I’m made of money, anyway.”

“Very well,” Jim mumbled, prodding a large red button with his index finger. After a loud buzz that made your brain vibrate, the heavy iron door behind Jim opened, letting you through. As you went through the doorway, he called down over your shoulder: “Hey Curly, Y/N’s back, but just for the one!”

Another guard further down the long hallway of barred cells and heavy doors shouted back in affirmation, “Thanks! Hey, Y/N, they’re down here!”

Your feet walked in tempo to the bitter, annoyed rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ you were sarcastically humming as you approached the cell.

Joey was sitting with his legs folded and back straight against the wall. Next to him, his lap covered with Joey’s jacket and a fluffy pink throw across his shoulders as if it did something to keep him from being affected by the chilly air in the room. He was otherwise naked, and was instantly recognizable to you.

“Whu…what the hell?” was all you were able to say, your eyes glued to the naked stranger next to you. “Is that….no…Joey, explain!” you continued babbling. “What is Tom-fucking!-Hiddleston doing in a jail cell in Syracuse New York with my dingus brother? IN THE BUFF??”

“Who?” asked the naked man.

Joey shrugged and mouthed rather indiscreetly, “He’s tweaking.”

You were a naturally jittery person, and the building anxiety about seeing your jailbird brother being chummy with one of the most dignified, prolific actors on the planet was already making you confused and flustered (as well as sweaty). “WHAT? I…Joey…”

“He, uh…” Joey got up and met you at the bars for more privacy. “He thinks he’s actually Loki, and he seems really torn up about it.”

“Where did you find him?” you asked. “Was he just waltzing around Armory Square reciting a Hamlet monologue? Or..?”

“He was here when I got brought in.”

You leaned to the side to get a better look at the guy. Strange, his hair was dyed and styled in the way he typically wore it when he played the role, but nothing indicated any Loki-centric projects were in production at the moment (you knew, you kept up). “He’s not…dangerous, is he?”

“Sis, think about it,” Joey reasoned, “He’s HOW famous? He does something weird, it’s all over Page Six in the morning, right?”

“...yes? And your point?” You blinked, twisting your lip with skepticism.

Joey made an impatient gesture with his palm. “So, maybe we rescue him and get some kind of compensation and finally pay off all our debts--”

“Compensation?!”

The strange naked man hopped to his feet, ignoring that the jacket and blanket fell to the floor. You jumped back reflexively as he stumbled forward at the bars, Even Joey had to scramble aside. “I can offer you anything if you help me get back. Anything!” He sounded desperate.

“N….no…” you said, still nervous.

“Sis! C’mon!”

“Miss--”

“--Y/N--”

“Miss Y/N, I promise you, I really am who I say I am, and once I can offer you proof, I shall,” he said, trying somewhat successfully to lower his voice into a calmer one. “If you can get me back to the TVA, I can reward you handsomely.”

“What’s that?”

“Time Variance Authority,” the naked prisoner explained to you, though it all came across as gibberish. “I think I’ve been separated from my friends in a time of dire crisis. The Timelines are fraying!”

You looked at Joey and raised an eyebrow, and he responded with an identical gesture (it was the ‘family brow’, you and your brother could speak volumes with your eye expressions alone).

“Sure they are, Captain Amnesiac,” you quipped. “Joey, I’m not spending my last hundred on this looney toon no matter how famous he is.”

“Look,” Loki managed to grab your hand through the bars. It was surprisingly warm, or perhaps his natural body heat only stood out in contrast to the cool air around you. For whatever reason, you felt your shivering skin still. Your heart slowed. Was he casting some spell on you? Or were you just flattered that such a famous, rich actor would be so bold as to touch your commoner’s flesh?

It was his eyes more than anything that spoke the truth to you. They were both desperately pleading and hopeful, large and blue. They were a bit bigger than all of the photos and films you’d seen him in, and you didn’t quite expect his jaw to be so sharp.

There was something else about the man that was more humble than you’d expect from Tom Hiddleston or anyone in his class. The actor was dapper, polished and refined from decades in the business. You knew this without ever meeting the man; his poise was always evident in every interview he gave. Meanwhile, the man before you had been through some real shit in recent days…perhaps even recent hours. The hair wasn’t shiny but greasy and disheveled. He needed a decent meal and a twelve-hour deep sleep. He needed clothes. He needed a hug.

And suddenly, light a bolt out of the blue, you believed him.

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” you asked quietly. “Until we figure out what your deal is?”

He looked at you hopefully. “No, but I won’t be any trouble if you’d give me somewhere tonight while I figure out what to do, please!”

You rolled your eyes at Joey. “Oh yeah, no trouble at all. That’s so Loki!” you snarked, pulling your hand carefully out of Loki’s grip.

“Yes, it IS Loki! I swear it,” said the prisoner. “Why do you doubt me?”

“I…uh…oh god, he’s so far gone, Joey!” you couldn’t help but remark.

“I know, but mind if we hurry it up? I’m late for work,” he answered.

“LATE FOR WORK?” you suddenly barked, causing even Loki to jump, startled. “What do you mean late for work??” It’s ten at night! What were you doing three hours before work that got you in here?!”

“Fighting.”

You looked horrified. Loki looked almost amused in spite of the circumstances.

“Where the hell were you fighting?!” you asked, taking on a maternal tone as you scolded your baby brother.

Joey looked down and shuffled his foot with exaggerated sheepishness. “...at work.”

The rain was only coming down harder as the three of you left the station twenty minutes later, after Joey and Loki signed their release forms. Half the precinct had been invited in to witness what, to them, looked like a very famous man wearing holey castoffs from the station’s lost and found bin, signing a release form after being booked for public intoxication.

You opened your umbrella just as a cab pulled up in front of the precinct’s stoop. “That’s my ride, sis!”

“Joey, I’m kicking your ass when you get home,” you warned.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Maybe our new friend can do it for you,” he whispered mockingly in your ear. “He’s kinda hot, you know…”

“Joey!” You giggled and stepped back, glad for the small bit of tension-relief before Joey took off for his bartending shift. One thing you promised one another after your parents died was that you would never go your separate ways angry, even if one of you was only going to the mailbox.

You waited until Joey drove off in the taxi before firmly grasping Loki’s arm. “Alright, it’s a bit of a hike back to our place. Can you at least walk in a straight line?”

“I assure you, Miss, I’m not drunk,” Loki said slowly, looking you in the eyes again without blinking, as if he could drill the skepticism out of you if he stared hard enough.

Joey was right. The stranger was handsome. He looked disheveled and silly, not an ounce of dignity on his person in that moment. Even so, the wear and tear of his life before now added a layer of something to his countenance you couldn’t put your finger on. You were always a girl attracted to experienced men.

Back off, girl, you told yourself. If he’s really Tom Hiddleston, he’s not available. That was the way of it, though. No one that well turned out had the right to be single.

“Let’s just go before we drown out here,” you said, bitter and tired, wishing you could just go to sleep and forget the miserable birthday you’d just had.

Loki was much taller than you, so he took the umbrella while you pushed the pedestrian walkway button on the corner. Unfortunately, as you walked out of the downtown area, the rain only got heavier.

You and your brother lived in Little Italy on the north side, above a small pizza shop that always reeked of greasy pepperoni and whatever else was left under the heat lamps for too long. Even in the dead of night, the red ambience of neglected neon signs from the windows downstairs leaked up into your bedroom. It was a twenty-minute walk from the precinct on a sunny summer afternoon. By the time you and Loki made it to the back entrance of the apartment, it was nearly 11:30pm.

“You live inside of a restaurant?” he asked.

You shook your head. “Not what you’re used to, I expect. But that's all I’ve got for you tonight.”

“Then it will do splendidly.” The rich, low baritone in his natural voice was beginning to grow on you. It was lovely and steady when it wasn’t begging you for bail money.

Both of you were both strung out and exhausted, so you kept the tour of the tiny one-bedroom flat brief, showing Loki that you had the single bedroom to yourself. Joey slept on a ratty recliner in the walk-in closet off the main room.

Your room was small and cluttered with the things you enjoyed: half-completed knitting projects, several bookcases both free-standing and mounted on the wall, figuring from your favorite action films, and sketches of different characters you admired. Underneath piles of folded-but-still-loose laundry (which you unceremoniously shoved into a corner), your futon sat, unfolded and unmade.

“It’s strange,” you said out loud, a thought occurring to you suddenly. “Maybe there is something to all this.”

Another being came to mind: one that couldn’t initially avoid the rounds of memes, press, and social media posts when he was first spotted. Granted, by all accounts he’d practically leapt on top of everyone he met when he’d arrived, but the situations seemed a little too similar to you to ignore. Perhaps it was something to bring up in the morning after Joey got home.

“What makes you say that?” asked Loki, sitting on the futon.

“You…you’re not the first man to claim he’s a fictional character who came to life in recent weeks, you know,” you said.

Loki went oddly pale (which was saying much, considering how pallid he always was). “Oh?”

“A crazy guy in London says he’s…you know what?” you stopped short, observing just how worn out your new charge appeared. If he was truly who he said he was, perhaps this news would be too much for him at present. “Never mind. I can explain it more in the morning. You don’t seem up for it right now.”

“But--”

You leaned down, taking a risk in lightly laying your index finger over his moving lips, stilling them with a “shh! I mean it. I’m only letting you stay here if you can behave, ok?”

“Are you scolding me like a boy?” Loki asked, sitting up straight and knitting his brows, taking a defensive position.

You looked away, a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I get like that sometimes. I had to grow up kind of young.”

He relaxed. “Oh?”

Nodding, you indicated around you. “Our parents owned this building, and the shop downstairs. They were killed in a plane crash. Joey and I survived it. I was fifteen and he was eleven.”

Loki bit his lip. “I’m sorry,” he said weakly.

“Our aunt owned it for a bit, but she sold it before retiring,” you continued to exposit. “Luckily, she was smart and had it in the lease agreement that whoever takes ownership of the restaurant had to let us stay in this apartment at a fixed rent.”

“How wise of her,” said Loki with a touch of pity.

“Yeah, but even fixed rent is rent to be paid, y’know?” you sighed, looking around you at your tiny room. “Anyway, let’s not worry about it now. I want to see what you’re like after you’ve slept a bit.”

“There’s no time,” he growled in protest. “Reality is collapsing!”’

“Well, if it does, at least I won’t have work tomorrow,” you chuckled, forcing the first smile out of Loki that you’d seen. Even his teeth seemed a little too perfect for a human’s mouth.

Meanwhile, there was something to your own jokes and openness to sharing your story that brought his guard down piece by piece. You had a similar cadence to Mobius, only perhaps a bit more dynamic. You carried yourself similarly, painted your words with the same sarcasm. Yet you also carried an extra layer of matronly authority that didn’t quite suit your youthful years. Loki would never admit that he was slightly aroused when you’d shushed him with your finger just now. Now was not the time for that nonsense anyway.

“Now, go to bed if you can,” you said, getting up. “I don’t have work until two tomorrow, so I should be here. If I’m not, Joey will be.”

Loki leaned back against the pillow, finally beginning to relax in your presence. “May I ask what your occupation is? Out of curiosity?”

You smiled. What an inane question, given the scenario you found yourselves in. “I work in a bookstore, up at a small locally-owned place in Liverpool. That’s the village at the north end of the lake.”

He smiled a little wider. You felt warmer. “Somehow, though we’ve just met, I feel that suits you perfectly.”

You shifted your stance awkwardly. “I guess it does. Or, at least it has for the past five years. Goodnight, um….Loki.” Saying the name felt like an admission of belief, and it made you feel weird to say it.

For his part, Loki was finally settling in and accepting the situation at hand, and that nothing could be done about it before morning. “Pleasant dreams, Y/N…and thank you.”

“No problem.”

You turned out the lamp by the door. Before leaving the room, you quickly thought of something. On your way out, as you walked by your bookcase, you quickly swiped a ten-inch figurine of Loki in full battle armor, poised to strike with scepter in hand, off the top shelf, praying that he didn’t notice it as you quickly shut the door behind you.

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mlm-writer · 7 months

Text

Home (Peter Parker x GN!Reader)

Pairing: Peter Parker (TASM) x Gender Neutral Reader Rating: General Audiences (except for one swear word) Words: 1652 POV: Second Summary: The Big Tober Day 2 - Love Confession Tags: college AU, you're both studying mechanical engineering, Peter is a genius, you're just ken, fluff, kinda cheesy and kissing

It’s always something. You can never have a normal exam week, where you just spend your days in the library surrounded by fellow students, mutually fuelled by caffeine and stress. Supervillain of the week literally burned down the public library and there was an alien spacecraft that crashed into your favourite café. It felt like you still had a million chapters to read and another five thousand words to write for an essay and not to forget that your stupid project partner still has not even opened the Google Slides link you sent them.

A long sigh, mixed with a frustrated growl left you as you once again couldn’t find a single spot on campus to sit down and study. It was always crowded like this during exam week. If you wanted a good spot, you better come to campus at 6:30am, but who had the energy for that? Fortunately for you, there was a small pebble on the road that led through the fields of yellowed grass between the main building and the main gate. You kicked it as hard as you could, letting all your woes leave you through your foot and into that little rock. It flew forward and - unexpectedly - up. “Oh shit!” You exclaimed as you followed its trajectory with your eyes. It was going straight for someone’s head, but before you could tell the brunet to watch out, he turned around and caught the pebble midair.

When he was turned around, you recognised him. Out of all people for that pebble to almost hit, it just had to be your crush. “Peter!” You called out to him as you jogged over. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to kick it your way… good catch by the way.”

Peter held the pebble in his fist and smiled at you; he was so cute when he did that. “Oh hey!” He beamed at you. When you complimented his catch, he hid his hands behind him and avoided eye contact. “Thanks, I got uh… good reflexes.” He cleared his throat and then looked at you. “Already done with studying for the day?”

You let out another frustrated sigh. “Ha! I wish. I came here to study, but it is fuller than a Blackpink concert stadium here. Guess I’ll have to settle for my tiny desk in my shoe-box dorm room.”

Peter snorted at your comparison. He seemed to want to say something, but he was hesitant about it. “Uh…” You raised your brows at him, awaiting his words. “I just uh… finished my final presentation for the thermodynamics course-”

“Oh how did that go?” “Got an A, but that’s not important-”

“Not important? Bro, you’re kidding, that's great!”

Peter was getting a little red. You liked how humble he was in spite of how smart he was. He was a little awkward, but during presentations, he often had his own flavour of charisma that made you listen instantly. He was good on the eyes too…

“Uhm, thank you… what I wanted to say is uh… I’m going home now to study. My aunt won’t be home until late and you’re free to join me at my dinner table - to study, I mean, but you’re welcome to join for dinner too of course!”

You kept forgetting Peter still doesn’t live on his own. Sometimes you envied him, sometimes you were happy with your freedom. “Are you sure? That’d be really cool. Studying together is way more fun than on my own anyway. Oh, do you maybe have notes for our material science course that I could borrow?”

A little later those notes were in front of you as you were seated at Peter’s dinner table. You had never been in his home before, but the Earthy tones and natural lights just made it feel like a home. There was love in the pictures that decorated the place, there was personality in the old books that scattered the house, one of a shelf on the wall, another one next to a vase with flowers, another on the side table by the couch…

“Here you go!” Peter put a glass of juice next to you. You thanked him with a smile. You did not realise how your warm smile fit right in that room, how it made Peter’s heart leap and his stomach flip upside down. He just sat down across from you like there was nothing going on.

You managed to concentrate for a good half hour, but after that your eyes drifted up and caught onto a sight that was way better than a schematic drawing of how tension affects different materials. Peter had this cute frown of concentration on his face, a pencil balancing between his lips as he typed something up on his laptop. He abruptly paused and looked straight at you. The change was so sudden; your eyes widened, before you forced them back onto Peter’s notes. Your face felt hot. Peter definitely caught you staring and you had no idea what he thought of it. Did he suspect you fantasised about kissing him whenever he info-dumped on you? Did he know how his smile could light up your whole day? Did he have a clue or was he just that oblivious? Most smart people were.

Suddenly, Peter let his head fall onto the dinner table. “I can’t do this anymore!” He exclaimed. You gave him a worried look, not that he saw it with his face planted in his notes.

“Wow, I didn’t know even the genius Peter Parker suffered from exam breakdown,” you commented. You genuinely thought Peter thought exams were a breeze. His grades were all exemplary, except that one time he was down with the flu so bad, you didn’t see him for three weeks.

“That’s not it! I’m-” he lifted his head. He was clearly upset, but as he rose from his seat to walk back and forth along the kitchen counters, he couldn’t put a single sentence together. He had paced the length of his kitchen at least five times, before he spoke up again. “This is so not how I envisioned this going, but I feel like I am gonna burst if I don’t say this now!” He walked over to you and, in an incredible display of strength, turned your chair with you on it to face away from the table. His arms were caging you, holding the back of the old, wooden furniture. “I’m so in love with you and…” He seemed to realise what he said and physically backed up until his back was against the wall.

You didn’t know what to say. It was hard to believe your ears. You just stared at him in shock as Peter did that thing you adored so much – rattling on like someone who did not prepare enough text to fill up their 30-minutes presentation. “And I don’t need you to feel the same, sorry, that was coming off a little strong, but I mean it. It’s like I’m in pain when I’m around you and I can’t hold you. Wait no that’s cheesy. Is it? I don’t even know, you make me wanna say cheesy stuff!” Peter was suddenly very interested in the couch in the living room, his eyes never leaving it as more words poured uncontrollably from his mouth. “When you look at me all my instincts are telling me you feel the same, but it could be wishful thinking, but I am so sure, but what if I’m wrong, I mean if I AM wrong, then that’s fine, I just…”

You stood up. Peter immediately shut up, eyes shifting to the floor. He looked like a child caught with his fingers in the cookie jar. You took a deep breath to settle your nerves and then closed the distance quickly, putting one hand on the wall behind Peter. Your classmate froze up and you wanted to relieve him of his nerves, but you had your own that clogged up your throat and wound your vocal cords tight like a scrunchie holding a very heavy ponytail. “Whenever you talk, I never want you to shut up, but when I look at your lips moving, I cannot think about anything but making you shut up with my own.”

Peter looked up, glistening eyes pulling you in. You were scanning each other’s faces, both scared this was all just some prank or a dream. “I’m going to ruin this moment by talking about material science if you don’t shut me up right now,” he almost whispered. You chuckled and put an arm around him, pulling him against you until your lips met. It was like coming home, like hot chocolate in winter, like a cosy blanket by the window on a rainy day.

Your lips touched like they were meant to do so from day one. It was your first kiss together and yet it felt like you had been doing this for ages. Your whole body felt like it was going haywire and the look in Peter’s eyes when you parted did not help. Neither of you said anything, kissing in the kitchen over and over again, as if you were memorising each other’s taste, while you should be memorising that schematic you still had open on your laptop.

When you finally found it in you to take a step back from Peter, you were both smiling giddily at each other. You broke the silence between you two, before Peter did. “All jokes aside, I actually do need you to talk to me about material science. I think I’ll be much more concentrated when you explain it.”

Peter let out a chuckle. “Ok, but when exams are over, you are buying me dinner.”

You slowly walked back to your chair. “I’ll even throw in a movie as well,” you replied, suddenly feeling a lot better about your exams.

—————

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biggie-chcese · 4 months

Text

rain code age headcanons because i have literally only ever been choosing ages based on what's funniest but now i wanna cast away my grand layers of irony and be genuine for a moment. also. this goes pretty in depth so be prepped for the long haul when you click read more lmao.

spoilers for the whole game below and it's because of one specific character iykyk

Yakou - this man has the soul of a guy in his late 40s going through what would be his midlife crisis if not for the fact that he's fully aware he passed the midpoint years ago. but that soul is trapped in the body of a guy who doesnt look a day older than 28. what moisturizer does he use? i doubt he even uses anything other than that 13 in 1 shampoo. anyway, i think he's 32.

Halara - 26. nothing really to justify this other than they've got that mid 20s swag but 25 didn't feel right. adult enough to be as competent as they are yet young enough to look like that. moving on.

Desuhiko - 19. i think he's the youngest of the NDA because. well. idk man have you read his dialogue? he's got a whole lot of growing to do and is still very lost on his direction in life. he's giving 'bitch fresh outta high school (or in this case, detective training) and relishing in his freshly obtained freedom."

Vivia - 28? yeah i got nothing for this i am going purely on vibes here. 28 just feels right.

Fubuki - 23. she's clearly still a bit young but is also clearly a grown ass adult who wasn't raised right so i think this makes for a happy medium, especially if she's already been on some worldwide adventures n shit before the game. works out quite swimmingly methinks.

Kurumi - 18. for my personal comfort bc we'll get to yuma later but im not gonna sit here and ignore the way the game constantly grovels at the audience's feet to ship them so id rather she not be any younger than this. anyway, more about her: she tends to hold her own as an informant with more competence, maturity, and effecience than most of the NDA. but she also has a pretty childish black and white view on things, like believing her beloved detectives are always right (girl if you were real you would be ENTRENCHED in stan culture oml do NOT get into minecraft youtubers) but i've... seen 18 year olds on the internet that are exactly the same so whatever

Aetheria girls - putting them all at 17-18 because, based on honorifics, they are treated as upperclassmen by their peers in the Japanese dub. i think waruna is the youngest and kurane is the eldest.

Yomi - 25. he has that vibe. old enough to be taken seriously as an adult but young enough to act like That™. yknow?

Martina - 32. she's giving older woman sexy librarian vibes and generally carries herself with a certain level of poise and maturity but is also a freak in a way that can best be explained by being a woman in her 30s. not elaborating on this

Swank - 41. to me he's like those awful surly businessmen who go to cabaret clubs to drink and smoke their office job woes away and cheat on their wives. but he also has extreme mafia boss swag about it so i kinda love him for that. dunno what this has to do with age tho. moving on.

Seth - 22 because he's giving youngest brother. i think he's the youngest of the peacekeepers in general. guillaume definitely bullies him about this.

Dominic - 34. bro is built like a jojo character what else do you want me to say. he's still got that youthfulness about him that makes me think he's still not going through his midlife crisis, so i wouldn't place him any older

Guillaume - 23. guillaume is so girlypop manic pixie dream girl core that she's definitely got the energy of someone who is young but also strikes the balance of being someone who has a job and a mortgage. dunno how she does it. id like to think she isnt even much older than seth but still bullies him for being the baby of the peacekeepers. do u understand my vision. please. they have so much annoying coworker potential.

shinigami - idk like 1000. she's a death god who cares.

yuma - okay. yeah. look i dont give a singular fuck about age discourse- headcanon whatever you want- but from looking at canon material i genuinely think that he could not possibly be any younger than 21. 20 if we wanna push it. yes, i know he looks young. i have eyes. but also, im in my 20s and the most common thing people tell me when i reveal my age is "oh, i thought you were 15." one time a person asked me if i was 12. at my job. that i was actively working at. i was 20. adults can look young, and contrary to the classic 1000 year old loli dragon trope he doesnt act overtly childish. he acts like a normal fuckin guy. yes he cries but like. you wouldn't in his position? bro speedruns lifelong trauma so skillfully that he's backwards long jumping into alternate universes where everything is somehow worse. i'd be freaked out if he didn't cry. also im aware that the child prodigy detective trope is a thing and that kodaka has written that before but... he was number one three years ago. and the training takes two years. which means, if he is a minor in the game's present day, he started working at the WDO at 12 and became number one at 14... at the oldest. have you ever met a 14 year old? forgive me for not suspending my disbelief here. and really the kicker for me is that yuma has a line where he says he's not sure if he's drinking age (which would be 20 in japan), but you know who would be sure? you know who knows yuma's age better than yuma?

makoto kagutsuchi - this megacorporation CEO has a fully stocked minibar installed in his penthouse. <- sentence i cannot bring myself to believe if it's about a child. since i also cant picture him becoming CEO at age 14 without yomi at least once angrily pointing that out (he only ever mentions that makoto is an outsider, or has his head in the clouds), id like to think both him and yuma, at their youngest, earned their top spots at their respective organizations at 18. it keeps their gifted kid syndrome and young prodigy-ness without making things comically ridiculous or uncomfortable for the sheer amount of sexual situations yuma gets put into.

anyway that's my silly little ramble on age headcanons. this was actually really fun to think about. shoutout to kodaka for leaving out the ages. funniest choice he could've made

#rain code #raincode #mdarc #master detective archives: rain code #rain code spoilers #mdarc spoilers

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ticklish-n-stuff · 8 months

Text

Heizou gets tickled

This is based on this ending from Heizou's hangout cause I mean LOOKIT THEM! SO SILLY! GOD I FUCKING LOVE HIM!!!

I hope this is okay 🥺👉👈

___________________________________________

Lee: Heizou

Ler: Itto

Warnings: Tickles! Spoilers for Heizou's hangout!

___________________________________________

After Heizou's fraud show was a success, it was time to pay up his part of the deal to the one and oni. Itto was practically buzzing in excitement when Heizou handed him a box, inside the pomised onikabuto that looked too good to be true. Well, it turned out it was as it didn't move.

"Oh you didn't honestly think it was real, right? It's just a figure~".

Itto's screech of disappointment rang through all of Inazuma. But before he could give Heizou a piece of his mind, the detective had already bolted out of the scene with the traveller in hand.

"Later!~" he stuck his tongue out cheekily as he made a run for it.

The box with the figure flew over to Paimon as Itto roared, quickly chasing after the two of them.

"Hey! Get back here!!!".

Maybe Itto wasn't the smartest of the bunch, but his physical prowess sure made up for it. It wasn't hard to keep up with the sly detective, until he and the traveller suddenly disappeared out of sight.

"Dammit! Where could they've gone...?" Itto scratched the back of his head, looking around for any signs of the perpetrator and his accomplice (not like the Traveller knew).

Over at a nearby bush, Heizou and the traveller had taken refuge. With the detective snickering at the oni's confused expression and traveller trying to fight off a giddy grin.

"Hmhm, looks like I'm too good for our oni friend~" Heizou snapped cockily, not realizing that his words would soon bite him in the butt.

"Uhh... Heizou?...".

The detective quirked a brow up as the traveller looked past him, when he turned around...

"AHA! I GOTCHA NOW!~".

Itto flew like a flash, launching himself at Heizou. This guy really had no self control, the traveller thought. Looking over as Heizou let out an 'oof' at being tackled to the ground.

"Oh woe is me, looks like I've been bested this time" it sounded like Heizou had admitted defeat, and yet, he was grinning so smugly up at Itto. As if challenging him to do something about it. He really could be a brat when he wanted to...

"This ain't nothing yet, bro! Just you wait 'till I show you the wrath of the Arataki gang leader!~"

As boisterous as Itto could be, his words didn't seem to faze the eccentric detective in the slightest. Feeling frustrated, it was time to take things to the next level.

"Alright hombre, don't say I didn't warn 'ya~" a mischevious grin crossed Itto's lips as he held Heizou's wrists with one hand, pinning the shorter male's arms above his head with ease.

It was faint, but even the oni caught how Heizou's pupils widened ever so slightly, but he still managed to keep his cool.

"How bold of you, Itto. Doing this in front of the Traveller~" the detective teased, even though he was the one being held down.

"Huh?! D-don't give the wrong idea!" The oni sputtered out shamefully. "I just want a little payback for tricking me~" making sure to keep the detective shut for good this time, Itto's hand shot over to the exposed side. His fingers pinching at the soft skin experimentally.

"Wah! W-wahahait! Thahat's a bit of a cheap trihick, even for yohohou!" the detective's body tensed up from the touch. He tried his damnest to keep his reactions at bay, still, a few giggles slipped here and there. The traveller stood by the sidelines, not wanting to get roped into the ticklish attack.

Itto had a smug look as Heizou's composure slowly started to dissolve. "Ohoho?~ Is the ace detective a bit too ticklish for his own good? Besides, this is totally deserved after that stunt you pulled~".

"Oh c'mon, no one gives away a onikabuto for freHEEHEE!" Heizou's heels dug against the ground as he felt the oni's fingers climb up his exposed ribs. Making sure to really poke between each bone. Damn Heizou and his fashion choices!

As Itto's fingers kept going higher, the more desperate Heizou got. Wanting to tease the bratty detective further, the oni massaged his thumb against the highest rib, right below the exposed armpit.

"Mph- nahaHAHA!!" Heizou's laugh would go up and down in pitch against his will, while he tried to muffle it against the side of his arm. Not like it helped much. Traveller found themselves struggling to not laugh at the show the two had put on.

"What was that? Couldn't hear 'ya, buddy~" Itto couldn't help but laugh along, his fingers not relenting for even a second as he finally reached the jackpot.

"GYAH! WAHAIT! OKAHAHAY! I'M SOHOHORRY!" Heizou threw his head back in a fit of cackles. A bright smile and red cheeks adorning his face. All while Itto playfully dug into the exposed armpit.

"I guess even an ace detective has his weakness..." Traveller softly chuckled at watching the playful display between friends.

"IHIHI SURRENDER! PLEHEHEASE!" Heizou wheezed out. It was kinda cute how his laugh went from bright and bubbly to wheezy and airi when you hit the right spot. Still, the detective seemed to be reaching his limit.

The traveller put their hand on Itto's shoulder once Heizou admited defeat, making him stop his onslaught of tickles. The detective took in deep breaths, with the taller male helping him up.

"Haha! How'd you like my allmighty tickle attack?~" Itto placed his hands on his hips with a cocky grin.

"Phew..." Heizou still laughed slightly as he got under control, letting out a deep sigh before continuing. "I'll admit, it was a bit of a dirty trick. So, how about I help you look for an onikabuto? Will that satisfy you?".

It was impressive how quickly Heizou recovered, the traveller thought. Not even a hint of embarrassment on his face, if anything, he looked content with what just happened. After all, he didn't even bother to squirm away...

"Really?! Then what're we waiting for! Let's go!!!".

The traveller's thoughts got put on hold as they got dragged along by the one and oni. With Heizou quickly following suit, both of them with cheerful looks. Spending time with friends was always nice...

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#genshin impact #genshin tickle #genshin tickle fic #shikanoin heizou #arataki itto #ler!itto #lee!heizou

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