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giggly-squiggily · 9 months

Note

This isn't a request for a tickle fic so I hope you are okay with writing it! I just wanted to request a fic were Leo and Yuno had revealed the fact that they are in a relationship so Yuno takes Leo to hage so he can meet everyone!

Ahh, my weakness! *vibrates at an inhuman speed* I'm so normal about them I swear! aerajrjheakjreaj No but really- this is a delight of a prompt and I'm beyond happy to make it for you, anon! I hope you like it!

CW: Mild angst, mentions of homophobia VERY LIGHT SPOILER WARNING: Black Clover Eps. 71-72 (It's incredibly vague- there's no real details but I'm gonna put it out there just in case)

Cloud 9 (Taglist peeps):

@duckymcdoorknob

“Come to Hage with me!”

When Yuno first offered the suggestion to Leopold, he was excited. It’d been some time since he’d seen his family, and the idea of sharing a part of himself with Leopold felt right.

Then excitement turned to unyielding anxiety in a matter of hours as he realized he had no idea HOW he was going to do that.

The planning wasn’t the difficult part- both Captains Fuegoleon and William were fine with it, and they even managed to rope Captain Yami into letting Asta and Noelle tag along. Letters were sent, and the responses have been nothing but positive from Sister Lily and Father Orsi . The actual trip was set.

It was the whole- you know- coming out thing. All this time later, and he still hadn’t told them. Yuno felt his stomach twist into a thousand knots as he watched Hage’s green hills get closer in the distance, willing himself not to shake.

“You’re gonna love it there! Our siblings are a riot, but they’ll get used to you pretty fast.” Asta was filling the mildly tense air with chatter, giving Leopold and Noelle the details about their family. A few times the redhead would look his way, smiling brightly at him. That helped- somewhat.

“You okay?” Leopold floated over on his broom, voice pitched low so the others wouldn’t hear him. “You look like you’re gonna puke.”

“Motion sickness?” Yuno offered, wincing when his voice shook..

“You’re nervous huh?” He smiled, bumping him gently. “I’m a bit too. Do you…do you think they’ll like me?”

“You’re like a second Asta. They’ll adore you.” Yuno grinned, earning a laugh and a light shove from Leopold. “Really- I do think they’ll like you. Both of you.” He nodded back to where Asta and Noelle were, their voices acting as background noise.

“Thanks.” Leopold leaned over, giving him a quick peck before returning to the original pair, Asta’s “WHERE HERE!” snapping him back to reality.

It’ll be fine. Yuno took a breath, forcing a smile. Everything is going to be fine.

He hoped.

~~~

“YUNO! ASTA!” Recca all but squealed upon seeing the three brooms above. “Everyone- Asta and Yuno are back!”

Within seconds of touching the ground, they were swarmed. Squeals of glee rang out from Arlu and Holo as they bull-tackled Asta, clinging to his legs and jumping up with grabby hands. Recca practically squeezed the life out of Yuno, her frizzy red hair almost to his chin- when did she get so tall? Sister Lily came out soon after, tears in her eyes as she hugged both of them just as tight. By the door, Father Orsi laughed, patting Nash on the head as they waited their turn to get their hugs.

It was a mess of limbs and hugs and kisses and ear shattering screams of glee from the youngest kids.. Yuno took it all in, nostalgia and warmth mixing in his chest as he reunited with his family. God, he missed them all so much.

“Welcome home, boys.” Orsi smiled when he managed to get in, hugging them both before patting their heads. “Though I should call you two men- after everything you’ve been through. Still; no matter how old you two get, you’ll always be the squishy cheeked babies I remember when you first arrived.”

“Father Orsi, come on! I’m so much bigger now since being a baby!” Asta huffed, unable to stay annoyed. Yuno laughed softly, willing his ears to stop burning. It didn’t help that Leopold was snickering in the background, clearly pleased.

“I suppose so- now, who are these fine people you two brought?” He asked, looking out towards Noelle and Leopold. Yuno’s stomach twisted once more, the anxiety he was just beginning to forget about piercing him like an arrow. Right- introductions. It was time.

“This is Noelle! Fellow Black Bull and royalty!” Asta cheerfully introduced Noelle, pulling her closer to the group. “She’s a really cool water mage! If you’re lucky- she might show you some tricks!”

“Dorksta- don’t go promoting me like I’m some sort of circus act!” Noelle fussed, cheeks red and mildly annoyed. From the group, some of the kids giggled. “Erm, it’s nice to meet you all.”

“Your girlfriend’s pretty, Dorksta!” Holo declared, making Noelle flush crimson with a squeak. Sister lily scowled him gently but Asta took it in stride, laughing with the rest of his siblings at the nickname. When the chatter died down, all eyes turned to Yuno and Leopold.

It’ll be fine.

“Leopold Vermillion! Nice to meet you all!” Leopold declared proudly, all smiles. The children were hooked almost immediately, eyes shining. “I’m Yuno’s-” He paused then, turning to the other. There was a question in his eyes. Is this okay?

Yuno felt his heart squeeze so hard it hurt. Leopold was giving him the chance to lie- to just say he was Yuno’s good friend. To work up the courage later and tell them another time. He was grateful for the redhead at that moment.

“He’s my boyfriend.” Yuno finished. Alas- as grateful as he was; he had to do it. Leopold had already agreed to keep it a secret in the past- he wasn’t gonna put him through all that again . “We’ve been dating for a while now.”

Faces morphed into surprise- Father Orsi’s brows shot up and Sister Lily blinked. Recca and Nash’s mouths formed into “o” shapes, while Arlu and Holo were too busy hovering around Noelle to notice. Even Asta looked surprised- and he knew already. Yuno waited, pleading with whomever was listening for- what- the ground to swallow him up? For lighting to strike him down? For Captain William to call and suddenly announce a task only Yuno could fill and save him from this awkward situation?

“Well, this was unexpected.” Father Orsi was the first to speak, his shock fading into warmth as he came over, shaking Leopold’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Leopold.”

“I recognize the name- are you related to Mimosa Vermillion?” Sister Lily recovered just as fast, smiling brightly. “She’s a darling, that one.”

“Oh yeah- she’s mine and Noelle’s cousin.” Leopold fell into easy chatter with them, bright as the sun as they asked about his team and family. Recca wiggled past the adults to Yuno’s side, her hand finding his as she leaned into his arm.

“Is he good to you?” She asked. Yuno took a shaky breath before nodding.

“He’s very good. The best man I’ve ever met.” Recca’s hand squeezed his in return, her face softening to a happy grin.

“Okay. Then I like him.” She decided. Yuno felt his throat tighten some as he leaned over, kissing her brow.

Asta and Noelle were soon dragged into the chatter. Before long, everyone was comfortable around everyone.

All but Nash, who hovered just outside the group with a pinched expression.

~~~

“It was so HOT! And dangerous too- there were so many cliffs and rocks, and the ground was carved with lava!” Asta stood before the group, retelling his adventures to his siblings- complete with standing tall and raising his arms high to emphasize his point. “There were so many instances where I was sure I wasn’t gonna make it! One wrong move, and your future Wizard King would have been as cooked as a Hage Potato!”

“I’m surprised you didn’t. I bet Yuno didn’t have any problems in that heat- not with his wind magic.” Recca grinned at her brother, earning a small smile in return. “I bet you were cool as the snow climbing that volcano!”

“Oh no, I just got lucky.” Yuno shrugged.

“Don’t be so humble- he was amazing!” Leopold grinned, joining Asta in retelling their adventures of Mereoleona’s training camp. “He was all- ZOOM! And we were all: ‘Whaaaat’ and he was all- “I’m so cool, look at me.’”

“Yeah yeah! Definitely!” Asta agreed, earning a round of laughter from the kids. “Noelle looked cool too!”

“What? Oh- don’t just say those things, Dorksta!” She huffed, cheeks pink but clearly pleased. Arlu and Holo were fast asleep against her lap, likely dreaming of the small water dragons Noelle created for their entertainment . Despite her earlier complaints about being an attraction, it didn’t take long at all for her to give in and play with them. Yuno felt a new appreciation for the water mage. “I guess you were kinda cool too…”

“Oh goodness- I can’t imagine going through that myself!” Sister Lily laughed around her tea mug, fanning away the imaginary heat. “You two have been getting so strong since you went to the capital.”

“That’s our boys!” Orsi agreed, raising a cup of what Yuno suspected wasn’t water. He didn’t mind though- it was nice sitting with everyone again. Though, there was still something wrong.

Throughout the day, Nash had been fairly quiet, not talking much at all during dinner or the time before. He’d always been a calmer soul, but Yuno couldn’t help but suspect he was angry. There was this clear tension radiating off of him that prickled at Yuno’s skin all throughout the day- especially tense during dinner when they were all sitting together.

Yuno tried to brush it off as discomfort of new people, but sitting here now- Nash nowhere in sight, his thoughts got the better of him.

Did Nash…not accept him?

Slipping away from the group, he went to find him, scared of what he’d find but determined to get to the bottom of it.

~~~

“Nash?” Yuno called out, finding his brother sitting on the back steps of the church. “There you are.”

“Oh, hey Yuno.” The younger boy looked back at him, his face and voice calm as ever. In his hands he was playing with a tree branch, picking at the bark and pulling at the leaves. “Got overwhelmed in there?”

“A bit. I actually came to find you.” Yuno began to walk over but stopped, suddenly unsure of himself. What if he sat down beside him and Nash walked away? Maybe he should…

“Why are you hovering? It’s not like we’re strangers.” Nash nodded at the spot beside him. Yuno flushed as he sat down, shamed. Why was this suddenly so difficult?

Silence hung between them, charged with something Yuno couldn’t quite put his finger on that did nothing to ease his nerves. He went to find words, but his throat felt tight, locking away his vocal cords. He needed to say it. “Nash…are you mad?”

Nash didn’t reply, though the slow pace he was working at with his stick sped up, growing slightly more aggressive. Ah, so he was.

“Are you mad…at me?” Yuno asked, feeling his heart sink when the picking grew. “Did I do something wrong?”

The stick shook. Nash’s calm expression grew pinched. “You didn’t tell us.”

There it was. Yuno bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t- don’t apologize.” Nash tossed the stick aside, turning so he could face Yuno properly. “I don’t want an apology. I just want to know why. You know us- we’re your family! That’s never gonna change, so why…why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Nash huffed, shoulders drooping. “Did you not…trust us?”

“What- no, not at all!” Yuno winched, hating how sad his brother sounded. “It’s not that at all. I just…” He was about to ramble when he stopped, taking a breath. This was Nash- clever, understanding Nash. He might as well be honest. “I was scared.”

“Of us?” Nash blinked, tilting his head.

“Of how you’d all react.” Yuno nodded, turning to look at his knees. “Back at the capital, there are some incredible people there. But there’s also a lot of cruel ones too. Leopold- he came out before me, and I still think about some of the awful things said about him. Some were said about me too- both behind my back and to my face. I try not to care about them- they already have problems with me being a commoner, but…”

“You were scared we’d react the same way.” Nash spoke softly, voice barely over a whisper. Yuno winced, nodding.

“I know now it was irrational,, but at the time- when I first started figuring myself out and being with Leopold; I was just so…terrified. I couldn’t bring myself to say it in a letter- I needed to know in person how you’d all react. I didn’t want to come home and be treated like a stranger. That…that would hurt.” Yuno felt his eyes sting, his throat closing with unshed tears. “I’m sorry. I wish I had the courage to say it sooner, but…I didn’t. I’m sorry I made you think you couldn’t be trusted, and I’m sorry-”

“Stop.” Nash scooted over, resting his head against Yuno’s shoulder. “You’re shaking.” He took his hand in his own, two small warm ones holding Yuno’s icy limb. “Just breathe, Yuno.”

Yuno willed himself to do so, taking slow deep breaths one after another as he forced himself to calm down. He hadn’t realized just how close to a panic attack he was getting. Nash’s voice guided him back to reality, his hands still squeezing Yuno’s as the older boy collected himself. “Sorry…”

“Didn’t I just say to stop that?” Nash gave him a look, eyes softening after a moment. Silence passed before he spoke again. “You don’t have to apologize- it doesn’t seem like an easy thing to talk about. If anything- I’m sorry for getting so mad about it. Even if it took awhile, I’m glad you were able to tell us now.”

Yuno didn’t trust his voice, opting to squeeze Nash’s shoulder. Nash took this as a sign to continue.

“You know- I don’t even think that part is what made me upset. I’m really happy you found that Leopold guy, and I’m happy you and Asta are living your lives. I guess it’s just…everytime you and Asta come home, so much has happened. One minute you’re heading out to the capital, the next, you’re these powerful Magic Knights with cool abilities and war stories. I feel like there’s just so much..missing between. Like those old books someone donated that had chapters missing.” Nash dropped some, shaking his head. “That was probably stupid to listen to, huh?”

“Not at all. I think I get it.” Yuno nodded, finding his voice as he turned towards the skyline. “I’m sorry about that. Things happen so fast there, and when I go to write, I never know what to say. That and I’d hate to give Sister Lily a heart attack with the gorey details.” That earned a small smile from Nash. Yuno felt his chest loosen. “I’ll try to be better about keeping you guys updated. And I’ll try to visit more often.”

“Promise?” Nash peeked up at him. Yuno raised his pinky. Without hesitation, Nash curled his own around it.

“Promise.” Yuno gave it a little shake, the same way they did when Nash was real young. Just like that, the knots in his stomach vanished. He could breathe again.

“Thanks Yuno. Though, can I ask you something?” Nash leaned in conspiratory-like, brows furrowing. “What made you fall for him? Don’t get me wrong- he seems great, but he’s like a second Asta- just so…loud.”

Yuno snorted, hand slapping over his mouth as he shook with mirth. Nash grinned, giggling alongside his brother.

“I suppose that’s a good place to start.” Yuno got out once he recovered. The rest of the night he shared the tale with Nash, the tale of how he and Leopold came to be.

~~~

“There you are. We really do have a fondness for fields, don’t we?” Leopold laughed as he flopped down beside Yuno, the stars bright above and the air chilled. Yuno was lying on his back, hands tucked behind his head as he reflected on the day’s events. Overall- it all went well.

“That’s true. We’ll have to change it up soon. How about a beach day next time?” Yuno suggested, grinning when Leopold made a face.

“No way- I’m still finding sand in inconvenient places.” Shaking his head, he flopped backwards and into Yuno’s chest, snuggling close. “Thanks for inviting me out. Your family’s great!”

“Told you they’d love you.” Yuno hugged him close, skittering his nails against his back. “I’m glad you came. They’re gonna be talking about you and Noelle for months.”

“Hehe, better send some presents then. Gotta keep my “cool older brother” rep with the kiddos.” Leopold closed his eyes, melting against his boyfriend’s hand. “Hey…this is kinda dumb but..thanks for introducing me as your boyfriend. I would have gone with the whole friend thing if you weren’t ready to tell them, but…It made me really happy.”

“It’s not dumb at all. And I appreciate you so much for that. Still…I wanted to tell them. Regardless of what happened, I wanted them to know you as my boyfriend. It was really scary, but I’m glad I did it. I feel so…relieved.” Yuno nodded, satisfied with his choice of words as he played with Leopold’s braid. “Was it like that for you when you came out to your siblings?”

“Honestly? I can’t remember. When I came out, I was so scared of chickening out I busted into Fuegoleon’s office and shouted it at the top of my lungs. Sis must have heard me from down the hall cause she yelled back “Good for you!” and Fuegoleon wasn’t fazed in the slightest. I think they both already knew.” Leopold laughed at the memory, smiling to himself. “I’m so lucky to have the siblings I have. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

“Yeah…” Yuno hummed in agreement, letting that settle. It made him grateful for his siblings as well- and his comrades. How’d he get so lucky to find the people he met?

“So- it’s just the two of us now. Do you think anyone will be slipping out this evening?” Leopold asked, sitting up so they were eye to eye, a teasing grin on his lips. Yuno blinked before flushing some, feeling his eyes widen.

“Leo!”

“What? I’ve been good- I’ve held back all day from doing it.” He leaned in some, green eyes sparkling with warmth. “Now or never, right?”

Yuno rolled his eyes with a soft laugh, flicking his bangs away. “You’re a dork. Fine, come here.”

Leopold wasted no time pressing his lips against Yuno’s, pushing him back into the grass.

It was all as Yuno hoped it would be and more. He was so glad he came home.

Thanks for reading!

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nibordereht · 2 years

Text

What we deserve

Summary:

When Jason catches Tim smoking on a rooftop in the middle of the night, he immediately knows he has a long conversation ahead of him with his little brother. He just didn't expect it to be that kind of conversation.

What we deserve (Jason Todd & Tim Drake) by anyrobin in AO3

There was a rooftop. It was on the top floor of a corporate building on the far side of the industrial part of town. It wasn't high enough to stand out among the other buildings, but it wasn't so low that anyone could be seen swinging their feet over the edge of the roof at night. It was not the favorite of any Gotham vigilante, but it was the one most often visited by Timothy Drake-Wayne when he wanted to escape without any capes stopping to pry or any strangers asking him if he was going to commit suicide from there.

Between his fingers he twirled a cigarette as if it were a pencil and he was in the middle of an exam, concentrating and calculating his next move. With the other hand, his thumb scraped the lighter switch, making a click sound every now and then. But his eyesight wasn't particularly focused on either move, just lost in the darkness beneath his feet among the Gotham buildings, dirty and cold like his own body at that moment.

His face was decorated with a colorful bruise between his lower eyelid and his cheekbone, so marked that not even the deep dark circles under his eyes (which were a fixed part of his face) could conceal it. He was pale, he always was; the only reason his lips weren't discolored or purple with the cold outside was because they were still soaked in the blood that continued to ooze out every time he pulled the cut on the side of his lower lip. And all that was even without mentioning the scratches on his cheek that made him look like he had dragged his face against the pavement. And his clothes, oh, anyone who saw him in them wouldn't doubt that he was some guy off the street instead of the son of a billionaire.

In short, he had been beaten up.

Smoking wouldn't solve any of his problems, but maybe doing some kind of damage to himself would help him ignore the damage other people had done to him. Besides, he had never really tried it, there was a tiny part inside him that found the new experience exciting. Though he was still too overwhelmed by the thrill of trying something new for the first time to overpower the spiral he was entering.

He stopped fiddling and lit the cigarette.

Tim made the motion to bring it to his mouth but stopped when he had it within an inch of his lips. He gave a deep inhale with his mouth and felt his whole body shiver, allowing himself to connect with the cold that enveloped him after several minutes. He groaned a little as the night breeze hit against the part of his neck that wasn't covered by the denim jacket he was wearing.

"Screw it," he muttered.

The cigar pad was pressed between his lips and he inhaled the smoke as the first pinch of butt began to fall from the other side. He held his breath for a while and then let it all out with a cough. He couldn't help but grimace when he stopped coughing.

"Not very good the first time, is it?"

Tim jumped. He couldn't help but have the instant thought that Batman would be disappointed in him for allowing his ramblings to make him let his guard down. His only consolation was that whoever had scared him had once had the same trainer.

"Jason...," coughed Tim.

Jason grimaced. Probably displeased when spittle splattered near him as he settled into Tim's side. The red helmet clattered with a heavy thud against the floor on the other side and only then did Tim pause to recognize the Red Hood uniform his brother was wearing, however, he didn't regret calling him by name as the older man wasn't even wearing his domino mask.

The smoke was still billowing between them, and the cigarette smell couldn't be hidden, even if it was worth a try. Tim didn't bother to put the cigarette out, but Jason stole it from his hand before he could even think about taking another puff. He sucked on it and stubbed it out against the rooftop floor as soon as he let go of the smoke from the first puff.

Tim was frozen. Somewhat lost. It wasn't in his plans to have company. He didn't want it. He just wanted to sit around, mope for a while and then pretend nothing had happened. It was better that way. He had always dealt with his problems the same way: by pretending they were never there in the first place.

Jason seemed oblivious to his deplorable state, or at least he was still so focused on the night view as he was while smoking that he didn't bother to examine the cigar's original owner just yet, prioritizing taunting him first.

Tim forced himself to calm down and concentrated on his shoes again. He was brought back to reality abruptly, so he was still too stunned to make any excuses even before the accusation came, so he just stayed silent and waited until Jason said something. Of course, he actually wished his brother would just go away without saying anything more. He'd rather be ratted out than lectured before he could finish processing his bad mood.

"So the perfect son is finally entering the rebellious age," Jason joked, still not turning to look Tim in the face.

"Dick thinks I've had it," he said, struggling to remain composed. "When I escaped to Europe to find Bruce."

As much as he wanted to remain appeased, there was actually a hint of venom in his words. He had risked his life on another continent to search for his time-lost father and Dick (though he was grateful for it) remembered his grueling journey, where he even lost a major organ, as his rebellious stage.

Nevertheless, Jason laughed.

"Dick dismisses any unauthorized travel as an act of rebellion because taking his things and leaving after a fight is what he would do being rebellious," he explained. Although there was a complaint in his tone, you could still feel some fondness in his words.

Tim could not refute anything so silence enveloped them again.

He wasn't sure what to say. Had Jason given him a pass to start complaining about his older brother? Was that what he really wanted? In truth, while he often needed to find a moment to rant about his brothers, this wasn't the occasion. Besides, he already had Conner for that. He didn't need to complain about his brothers to themselves.

"Okay, birdie," Jason began. Tim squeezed his eyes shut and avoided him as the older man settled back to face him. "You want to tell me what the hell happened to you?

Because you look like shit." Tim snorted.

"Five dollars to the swear jar," he muttered. Jason squinted his eyes. Tim opened his eyes and sighed, "Fine. Occupational hazard?"

"I saw you yesterday and your face didn't look like a plum, Timbo, and I know you weren't on patrol today. Nop. Try again."

"I was mugged," Tim tried, firmer than before.

A normal person probably would not have been able to detect the lie. Timothy's face was serious and his eyes did not falter when the words came out of his mouth. However, Jason had not only learned to read him well, he had been trained by the world's greatest detective himself.

"Last try. Either we have this conversation, or you'll have it with Dick because he's home and he'll want to hug you the moment he knows you're under the same roof."

Tim hesitated between clicking his tongue and sighing. Unfortunately, he was right. Right now, it was in Tim's best interest to have an ally in the mansion. He wouldn't be able to hide out in one of his safe houses long enough to not run into a bat as a civilian again before his injuries wouldn't show, and once home he'd have Dick or Alfred on him, the former to get an explanation and the latter to force him to have a medical checkup. He didn't need to burden himself any further. And, if he had to be honest, deep down he enjoyed chatting with Jason. Even though some resentment over, you know, the assassination attempts clung to his heart, he would always be his childhood hero, and who wouldn't like their hero to show the slightest concern for them.

He finally turned his face to Jason and made a childish grimace, scrunching up his whole face.

"I'm just not doing well back in school," he confessed.

Jason fell silent for a second and then gave him a small empathetic smile.

"If this is what you look like after coming back for two weeks, I have to agree with you."

A slight relief settled in Tim's chest after hearing his brother's response. He didn't need anyone jumping on him with a lecture right away or questioning his decisions and coping methods when he was down to his shit. He wanted to disappear for a while, not be forced to keep his feet on the ground.

A little over a year after returning from his wilderness journey and retrieving Bruce Wayne from the time stream, his father had decided it was time for him to resume a normal life as a civilian and enjoy worrying about who to ask to the prom instead of how to increase the stock of a multi-million dollar firm . Of course, when he wasn't worrying about saving Gotham City's citizens' asses from clown-clad sociopaths, scarecrows with dangerous fumes, or mobsters with family problems. Typical stuff.

Tim had no choice but to accept. He forced himself to see this as an opportunity to shut the old men who insisted on calling him incapable for dropping out of school and decide if he really wanted to continue running a company where he had only risen straight to the top thanks to nepotism and desperation.

But retaking your senior year at nineteen, when there were none of your friends or acquaintances left taking the grade, being practically a celebrity who was even part of a teen engagement scandal and with malicious rumors running rampant (not to mention being a nerd who looked like one), didn't help your case . Which was an understatement to say that high school was kicking his ass. Sometimes literally, like today.

"You want to tell me what happened?" demanded Jason. His tone became lighter, even as he tried to sound deliberately nonchalant. In other times, Tim would have been upset that he was being treated the way they, the vigilantes, would treat a victim, but today?

Today Tim was so tired.

"I got beat up," his voice cracked a little at the end so he cleared his throat, coughing a little from the lingering sick feeling the tobacco left in his mouth. "Can't you say it for yourself, wonder boy?"

" Former boy wonder, boy wonder," he corrected.

"Same here. Former. " Tim allowed himself a small smile. Jason also laughed slowly.

"However," he resumed, "you must be getting rusty if they managed to make you this ugly. And you're ugly enough as it is."

Tim rolled his eyes, but the need to release some tension forced him to let out a long sigh next instead of focusing on the banter. Then he took a breath to gather his strength to keep talking. He really didn't feel like going around in circles so much and having to keep the bad memories inside.

"It's just... It's harder than I thought it would be. I mean, I wanted to just go, pay attention when I felt like it, worry about getting through classes, and go home; I don't feel able to resume the teenage life that Dick, and now Bruce, want me to have. Not after..." he waved his hands at him and around him, not knowing how to express himself, "all this time, I guess. I never spent too much time in school in the first place. You know, it's not like anyone ever cared much about my attendance, either. When B stopped by to bother me about school it was because he wanted to keep me away from some dangerous cases, and I always chose Robin's stuff over my civilian friends... I didn't even have many, anyway."

Jason made the motion to interrupt him, he wasn't sure if it was because he was starting to ramble or if he wanted to tease him, but he needed to blurt it all out before he chickened out.

"I know what I look like, Jay. I'm not very tall," Jason raised an eyebrow and Tim nudged him, "...I'm short . I don't grow as much muscle as you and Bruce, and my clothes just make me look skinnier and smaller. Even if I pass P.E. with flying colors, I couldn't hit back without drawing attention to myself; not because of my last name, but because of my looks. And you know, coming back to school older than most and looking smaller than everyone else, after being orphaned, adopted by the most famous man in town, and running an international conglomerate, doesn't exactly make you popular ."

Jason snorted. Yeah, if there was anyone who could understand Tim being a weirdo at school because of things that had nothing to do with school, it was him. I mean, Dick? Yes, the circus boy was adopted by Gotham's most outrageous playboy but raised among the rich since the age of nine. Just another snob, whether he wanted to be or not. Plus, he was charismatic and stole hearts wherever he went. Jason, however? He was the Crime Alley brat Bruce had picked up as a charity, according to the media. Who had become part of a world where he didn't belong. He may have been one of the most diligent in class, but in the school hallways, he was nothing more than a kid that no one wanted to get close to as if he was going to infect the rest of the lice. And those who did want to approach him, it was because they thought it was fun to harass the brat who was taking advantage of the kindness of oh good Brucie Wayne.

If Jason was a freeloader back then for being swept off the streets by Bruce, what was Tim, Jason didn't need to be specified. How could they not make fun of the kid who seemed to have the world a year ago, internationally recognized as a superboy , and kicked by his foster father back to the biggest youth hell? One moment on top and the next demoted again with the others of his kind. Like getting a supposedly gifted baby up to high school and then shamefully returning to kindergarten.

But something still didn't fit.

"I get it, kid. Being the adopted orphan of a celebrity is never easy, and school sucks..."

"Alfred says you loved school," Tim interrupted eyes back on his shoes. Jason gave him a sulky look.

"I liked to learn... " he corrected. Tim muttered a retort, but Jason ignored him and continued, "My point is that bullies always find something to get on your nerves, believe me, I was very good at provoking them, but at the end of the day you know that nothing they say is true. I understand you don't want to draw attention to yourself, but hell, kid, if you don't plan on hitting back don't bother responding to them. Just don't-"

Jason decided to keep quiet. Tim was still crestfallen so he had tried to meet his gaze to make his words clear, however, the resigned reaction he was expecting was not what he was encountering.

Tim's lips were quivering as much as his clenched fists and from the twitching of his nostrils, Jason could decipher that his opponent was beginning to get exasperated.

Apparently, he had given the wrong answer. Hell , that won for worrying about his little brother.

"Why," gasped Tim, "why... I don't... Jason, I don't...".

There was a long pause. Tim huffed in annoyance and rubbed his palms roughly against his eyes. He left his hands pressed against his face before resuming his monologue.

Jason didn't dare interrupt him for fear of upsetting him again.

"I didn't tell them anything. I know that nothing they say when they pick on me is true. No one knows absolutely nothing about how I felt when I was orphaned, that Bruce was like my father before he adopted me, or why the hell I ended up as CEO of W.E. in the first place. I told you, I just want to go, pass the classes and never have to set foot in a school again," if his voice shook, Tim ignored it and kept going, his tone of voice louder than he would have liked and his hands still covering his eyes. God, he was so exhausted. Not long ago he was going through the worst year of his life and now he had to go through stupid teenage shit and bullying problems again. What he was missing. "I didn't provoke them, Jay. They went straight out to hit me . I swear. "

Jason had to admit that that last murmur tore him apart. If his anger wasn't already under much more control since he first emerged from the pit, he surely would have seen green. He wanted to thoroughly interrogate his brother to coax out those responsible for beating his face into a pulp so he could smash their heads in, but he didn't want to overreact and push Tim away.

But he still didn't understand.

"Why?"

The question was only a whisper, only audible over the stillness of the night from the top of the rooftop Jason had approached when in the distance he spotted someone he thought might be about to pounce.

Tim hesitated. He dropped his hands to his thighs and looked at Jason with glazed eyes and a broken gaze. He felt it was idiotic to be so overwhelmed. He had been beaten, kidnapped, and tortured in the past, but for some reason, that stupid school beating was getting to him more than all the previous suffering. Probably because the first time he gave himself a minute to himself and did some introspection, daring little by little to let himself be seen for who he really was, he got spit on and scorned right away. He had been caught vulnerable and let himself be knocked down.

He analyzed Jason. His eyes reflected concern, his posture was relaxed and he deliberately showed his palms upward to keep Tim from tensing further. Of all people, after everything he'd done to him, why would Jason judge him? And if he did, could that be any worse than when he, his Robin , tried to murder him?

He inhaled deeply. He wished he had that cigarette between his fingers again so he'd have something to vent the anxiety on. He fumbled at his side and picked up the lighter that had at some point slipped from his grip, he scraped it away to distract himself so he wouldn't have to look Jason in the eye when he spoke to him. Anyway, it no longer looked like his brother had any intention of leaving him for a good while.

"I don't have any friends, I haven't really tried to make friends at school. I don't need them," he could hear Jason tapping against the floor beneath them as he listened to him, "So I just get lost around and talk to Kon and Bart during breaks, sometimes the rest of the old crew too. But there's the stupid policy that everyone has to go to the cafeteria during lunch, and it's not narrow enough to just get lost in the crowd. And I was..."

He stopped fiddling with the lighter, his hands fell against his lap and his eyes unfocused as he stared at the buildings in the distance, his pupils reflecting the distant lights of the city. If he let himself disconnect slightly from reality, as if his brother wasn't beside him listening to him, perhaps it would be easier to let it all out. He didn't want advice, understanding, or a pity pat on the back; he wanted to throw up what was making him sad and maybe help with a cover-up.

"I was texting with Kon," he laughed dryly. "I guess I must have looked like an idiot smiling at the screen for a moment because the idiots who like to mess with me took my phone away and started reading aloud some messages..." Tim bit his lip hard and blood began to form a ball in his open wound.

When his little brother trembled a little in frustration, Jason's gaze darkened. Possibly he wasn't inferring everything correctly, but if this went the way he thought it would, he'd have to pay some people a few visits.

And make them disappear.

Continuing seemed to make it difficult for Tim for a while, and while Jason would like to give him his time, he knew the boy could burn his head thinking of hundreds of different reactions he might receive before planning every word out of his mouth, and he didn't want to stress him out any further, so he took the initiative.

He cleared his throat with a rumble. Tim looked at him again and left his poor injured lip alone. Jason grimaced a smile-like grimace and wiped away the small drop of blood that threatened to trickle down onto his brother's chin.

"Do you have any more?" he asked, gesturing toward the cigarette he had put out a while back.

Tim looked confused for a moment, but soon patted his wide denim jacket and pulled a box out of his pocket.

Jason couldn't hold back the smirk when he saw that the pack was missing only one cylinder. He had truly caught the younger man red-handed in his first attempt at common rebellion. He snatched the lighter from his fingers and lit a cigarette resting between his lips. He stowed both items in his own pockets and took a long puff.

"Is Kon your best friend?", Jason asked as he let the smoke out of his mouth.

Tim took a moment just to stop and think that he really didn't like the way the cigarette smoke that was coming through his nose felt. He was more connected than before, but he still wasn't looking at Jason, luckily, he was looking at the sky as he smoked. He was a detective, a really good one, he didn't need to overthink so much what Jay was implying. He didn't seem worried about the answer Tim might give him, as if he actually already knew the truth and was just making a preamble.

"He's my boyfriend," he clarified.

Jason nodded and smoked some more before blowing the smoke in his brother's face. Tim coughed and looked at him in annoyance as he tried to push it away with one hand.

"Great. Roy is mine. We both had “best friends to lovers”, goals ."

Tim's breathing hitched for a second. Suddenly he felt that when Jason said he understood, now it was true. He was able to calm down a little, but at the same time, he felt panic. He was so closed off to the heteronormativity around him that he failed as a detective and didn't consider everything in front of him. All the clues. Everything could have been so obvious . He allowed himself to laugh a little, though it came out somewhat hysterical.

"For crying out loud, can you unlearn that? Where did you get that jargon, bestie ." Jason raised an eyebrow.

"I use Twitter too, baby bird. What, you think because I died I stayed on FotoLog or something?"

"Well, Dick uses MySpace..."

This time, Jason went blank for a millisecond before resuming smoking.

"God, I don't know how he gets the girls. He's a dinosaur." Tim allowed himself to laugh. Jason smiled too with his cigar between his teeth. "Hey, Timmy, you know... You know they're the ones in the wrong, right?"

Tim fiddled with his hands again. Uh, so the conversation wasn't over yet.

"He did me...," Tim watched his brother for a second, reassuring himself that he could trust him to talk about his feelings so directly. He was afraid, no longer of rejection, but teasing. He knew that from Jason they wouldn't come malicious, not the way those from the boys at school did, but still, he wasn't in a good place yet to hear them. "I really like him, Jason," he said slowly. His brother nodded. "And I wouldn't be ashamed of him, ever. But I wasn't ready for people I didn't care about to know, for there to be even more rumors about me floating around... No one knew yet."

His hands shook. Jason moved closer to him and nudged his shoulder with his elbow. He flicked the butt of his cigarette but didn't smoke. He stood thinking for a moment until he decided to let it go. Jason stubbed out the cigarette with a slight sigh and took his younger brother's jelly hands between his own, heading straight for him, even though Tim didn't return his gaze.

"Listen, Timmers. If you were to go now and tell anyone at home about Roy and me, even if it was our family -Alfred's own- and I gave you a fucking beating, would it be my fault?"

Tim scrunched up his face and finally looked at him. "What?"

"No. It would be your fault for being an idiot bastard and taking away my chance to share my shit on my time. No one has the right to force you out of your comfort zone, to go around handing out your secrets like they're business cards. Get it?"

Tim bit his lip. He remembered, then, that time when Bruce had revealed his civilian identity to Stephanie without his permission. His stomach churned the same way now. He felt bad and angry, so upset that he felt sick and depressed. So he nodded.

"Yeah. I guess."

Jason nodded in agreement and released his brother's hands, which had finally regained stability. Instead, he brought his right hand to the other's shoulder. Now, however, pausing to stare at Tim's bruised face for a while longer, his heart couldn't help but squeeze painfully. Without realizing it, his free hand found itself outlining the contour of the larger bruise on the pale face. His voice became soft as he spoke again:

"So, little brother , if someone you didn't even want to know something finds out the hard way and forces you to tell everyone else, the ones who deserve the beating are them. So, can you explain to me why they left you like this ?"

"I told you I'm not ashamed of..." he grimaced. "What I'm like, and I understand that they're wrong, but I still feel... bad. I feel horrible, Jay. If you like guys... If liking guys isn't wrong, why do they have to get so upset? I was just standing there. I barely... I barely clicked my tongue when they came up to me after class and suddenly I had them all over me justifying kicks and punches. As if I deserved it. I don't deserve it, do I, Jay? I deserve a lot of punches, but not for being in love with my best friend, or do I? Is there any fucking reason that justifies getting my face smashed in just because I can't defend myself in public?"

No. Jason wanted to say. Not just for the beating that day, but for any he had received in the past. But how did he make him understand that with a simple denial. He knew Tim wasn't going to believe he didn't deserve to be beaten, not when he had willingly taken so many beatings, convinced there was good reason to accept them. Surely Tim was sure he deserved the beatings he took from Bruce while they were training because he wasn't good enough, or the ones Damian once tried to give him for not being worthy of the last name he took; especially the ones Jason himself once gave him, repeating to him that yes , indeed, he did deserve them. So how could one of his victimizers now convince him that he didn't deserve to be beaten just for being himself when all his life he had been proven otherwise. For being Tim, for being Robin, now for being gay .

A tear tripped over Jay's thumb on Tim's cheek. Jason didn't know how to respond.

"I don't think I deserve Roy, Timmy. And I know you. Always so forgiving, except to yourself," he paused and pinched his brother's nose before releasing his face. He just sniffed. "You think you deserve the clone boy?"

Tim curved his lips and shook his head as he wiped away the tear that had escaped.

"Then why would you deserve to take hits for him?"

"That doesn't make any sense, Jason."

Jason wrinkled his nose and settled back on his elbows, kicking his boots against the edge of the roof.

"I know, but you were being a jerk and I didn't know what else to say." Tim snorted. His laugh was watery but less depressed than before.

"I really hate myself, Jay." His brother nodded. Self-deprecation was not something he was a stranger to. "And I hate being made to think I have more reason to."

"Lucky you're known to Red Hood, don't you think?"

Tim pressed his palms against his eyes and allowed himself to laugh even as tears were welling up. God, he wanted to see Kon .

"Bullies are kids too, Jay. Red Hood doesn't attack children." Jason grimaced.

"You know firsthand that there are exceptions."

Tim laughed again but the smile slowly morphed into a quivering-lipped grimace and his shoulders began to shake. Jason couldn't bear to feign disinterest any longer and this time he pulled Tim into a hug, allowing him to hide his teary face in his chest.

"It really hurts, Jay… I always get beat up on patrol, but it hurts . "

Jason wanted to point out that it would hurt more if he squeezed his bruises like he was doing and kept biting and going on to wear his wounds at every turn, he thought that even the hug might be contributing to the pain, but he just kept quiet and stroked the boy's hair.

"Shh, it's okay. You can cry, I won't tell your boss ." Against all odds, Tim listened . The sobs started.

" I hate school ," he mumbled. So many teenagers said the same thing daily, Tim himself repeated it every chance he got, yet it felt so real this time. Not hate having to go and take classes, but everything else that came with that heavy social interaction. The boy was constantly under a lot of stress and was generally a good extrovert, but selective . If in just two weeks, he was already giving up on nine more months of school, he was seriously burned out. "Red Robin can take rejection and beatings, and Tim Drake could take them without complaint. But I'm tired, " Tim sobbed.

Jason just held him tighter and continued to cuddle him, humming at times so Tim wouldn't have to concentrate on his sobbing and snot slurping through the excessive calm of the night. He waited for him to calm down for several minutes, maybe even an hour. He didn't care, he couldn't help his little brother rest, but he could give him a moment for the lump in his throat to loosen. God knows the only way Tim Drake-Wayne allowed himself to get the water out was by sweating and in the bathroom, never through his eyes. He needed to cry.

Finally, Tim forced him away and wiped his face with the sleeves of his jacket. His eyes again focused on the darkness between the buildings in front of him instead of on his brother sitting next to him. Jason wanted to laugh, but he held it in. Namely, he had found nineteen-year-old Tim decapitating gummy bears to swap the colors of the heads and bodies once, but he was more embarrassed as if it was childish to cry in front of someone else.

"You know...," Jason began in an effort to break the forced awkwardness. "If you want to piss Dick off for accusing you of being a rebel for saving his dad's ass, smoking miles away from him and choking on the first puff won't work."

"It's not what-!", Tim growled as he turned quickly and saw that Jason was smirking mockingly. He pouted and lowered his voice. God, he looked like a baby , how could he believe it wasn't okay for him to cry like one. "That's not what I was trying to do, I just wanted to drown out the stress. It was the first thing I thought of."

Jason hummed in response. Well, at least he had opted for long-term self-destructive tendencies instead of going straight to cutting off his arms or going into an alcoholic coma.

"Actually, smoking won't help. Trust me. Next time try marijuana."

Tim nudged him in an instant. Jason hissed but laughed.

"Hey! I'm trying to help," he guffawed.

"I'm not going to get high," he muttered. He sounded embarrassed.

"Okay, but if you wanted to try it sometime and Dick found out, no matter how much he wants to lie to you, I swear he tried it," Jason accused, squinting at the clear sky in front of him as if he could see Dick. "Or just get a piercing, whatever. Knowing him, anything will piss him off coming from the well-behaved little brother."

Tim clicked his tongue but had to wipe his runny nose almost at the same time so he couldn't look angry enough.

"I'm not like that," he mumbled.

Jason smiled. Good, his brother was feeling better.

Jason's phone vibrated in one of the inside pockets of his leather jacket so he took advantage of the fact that Tim was fighting his watery snot to take a look at it.

Speedy "I'm already in town babe" "meet me in thirty minutes?"

Jaybird "Make it an hour."

Jason allowed himself to smile at the screen. He wondered if the sense of reassurance that seeing a message from his boyfriend after a tiring day brought him was the same feeling that helped Tim get over the discomfort he was getting from school while texting with Conner. The same feeling he would now feel compelled to contain and be careful not to externalize because of some jerks.

Hmm , maybe his little brother deserved to be a little rebellious these days. "Hey, Timbo."

"What do you want?"

Great, it still looked pitiful, but it had regained its usual acidity. It was progress. "How about I teach you how to smoke?"

Because yes, Jason could play the good big brother, but it was also his duty to keep up the bad influence style.

And he did deserve to have some fun. They did.

♡

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