"well, the laser vision IS a plus, because it's cool watching her set stuff on fire from 50 yards away. and i like that she can fly and get things off of high shelves for me. but those aren't the ONLY reasons why i like her!"
(also i hope you enjoy retro batdad, because that's where my brain's at right now. i'm delighted that starfire's design is already so incredibly 60s; she fits right in 🌠)
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an incomplete list of dc heroes whom i believe to have beef that none of the others understand:
batman and starfire (the only thing they have in common is the desire to hit anyone who hurts nightwing over the head with a mallet and they're both on each others' lists)
constantine and captain marvel ("why are you-- why are YOU-- why are you lIKE THIS")
green arrow and nightwing (did dick steal ollie's shtick, or is ollie a grown man who started a turf war with a 9yo? a question for the ages. also their arguments about being nicer to roy have escalated to biting)
wonder woman and atom (i just think it would be funny. theyre both so meticulously polite that noone would ever realise they hate each other to a savage and irrational degree)
red robin and the entirety of justice league international (there was a thing. several things. several things and an unsanctioned zipline)
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Bruce and the Titans relationship
Literally Batman and the titans relationship is so funny because it's just a social tug of war of who Dick belongs to.
Batman and the Outsiders (1983) Issue #5
The titans are literally losing their mind over Bruce and Dick's relationship. They can't understand why Dick could ever love someone like Bruce and Bruce can't ever stand Dick being with the titans
World's Finest: Teen Titans Issue #1
The feeling is mutual.
The titans don't think Bruce is good enough for Dick and Bruce doesn't think the titans are good enough for Dick. Both sides hate the other.
Garth's treatment of Bruce
Titans (2016) Issue #28
vs
Garth's treatment of Dick
Titans (2016) Issue #28
Batman can work with each of them individually, like Victor, but he doesn't think together they're good enough to have his son.
When the Justice League and JSA and the Peacemaker Corps comes to save the Titans, they find almost all of them freed except for a few.
JLA/Titans Issue #2
Bruce: WHERE'S MY BABY?!
Wally: HE'S GETTING OTHER PEOPLE'S BABIES, SHUT UP!
Bruce is probably just grinding his teeth about ever letting Dick join the Titans in the first place if this is what's gonna happen.
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I’m not seeing lots of people acknowledging the sheer impact Jason’s death had on Dick, not only the manner of his death but also all the events surrounding it.
The first time is when Dick returns from a harrowing mission off-planet, bleeding with many bones definitely broken, but his fingers have been tapping his screen well before they leave the planet.
Everyone has noticed it. Starfire’s been shooting worried glances over to Wally, fingers hesitantly hovering over the trembling boy who flinched at contact earlier. Wally’s eyes are trained to Dick’s leg that has been bouncing way too much in the past second, matching the amount of ragged breaths Nightwing has been forcing into his lungs, fingers clenched so tightly onto the phone the speedster could’ve sworn the glass has started cracking.
There was a reason Dick was uneasy for the mission, he’d admitted as much to Wally earlier, remarking that something about the whole thing was.. off. Something that made him so uneasy to his stomach he wanted to vomit out his intestines to get a moment of relief. Wally hadn’t connected the dots then. He didn’t think Dick had either. But here they both were, unsure if this moment was actually reality or just a memory from the past they were reliving.
The moment they finally get signal, Dick’s breath hitches. His first call goes not to Bruce, not to a doctor, but Tim.
Dick’s trying to keep the shaking out of his voice, he can feel his heartbeat rising, panic causing the phone to shake as the dial tone stretches on, and all Dick can think of is another coffin awaiting him when he gets back. He all but sobs in relief when Tim picks up.
“Hello? You need anything Dick? Bruce’s out right now”
He can’t bring himself to answer or speak, simply inhaling in the fact that Tim was alive. Thank god.
Thank god thank fucking anything that kept his little brother alive.
Every moment he heard movement on the other side of the call, he was drinking in every moment like a man parched. He hangs up ten minutes later, shooting Tim a quick text about it being a butt-dial before looking up at Wally, and everyone else who hadn’t left his side.
“Al-a..Ali..v..Aliv-alive”
He can’t even say it out loud before he breaks down, the world crashing around him as all he can do is fall to his knees, bow his head and sob to the heavens for forgiveness from Jason.
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More of my batfam headcanons since you guys liked them
- After Dick moves out, Alfred finds Bruce in Dick’s old bedroom staring aimlessly
- Sometimes, especially in the beginning years as Batman, Bruce has days where he can’t stand to look in the mirror because those aren’t his eyes staring back at him — they’re Martha’s
- There’s a lullaby that all of the family knows because Alfred would sing it to them on their hardest nights, even when they were adults
- Alfred has made the habit of becoming fluent in all the languages his family speaks
- Bruce tries to do the same, but he’s not nearly as fluent. There’s still a lot of proper pronunciation he can’t get right and the kids make fun of him for it constantly
- Alfred speaks with them in their preferred language as often as possible, but usually sticks to English when they’re all together
- Everyone is a polyglot, except Cass, who currently only knows English and ASL
- Cass doesn’t speak often, as she’s still not used to having the ability to, but she wants to become a polyglot eventually, too. Her brothers help her practice
- It’s become a running joke amongst Bruce’s kids that whenever Father’s Day rolls around, they make cards for Alfred instead of Bruce
- Alfred keeps every single one
- No one has any idea what Alfred’s room looks like. Stephanie is convinced he doesn’t have one and that he sleeps in the cave (“I’m telling you guys! He sleeps upside down like a bat!”)
- Bruce is impossible to sneak up on, unless it’s Cass. She likes jumping out from behind corners and spooking him.
- He doesn’t react aside from throwing whatever is in his hands into the air. One time he threw an entire cup of hot coffee in his own face without so much as blinking
- Tim absolutely despises Country music, but Kon listens to it non stop and it’s drives Tim crazy because it’ll get stuck in his head for weeks on end
- Dick and Wally love going to haunted houses together, but only the intense ones where you have to sign a waiver
- They tried to take Starfire with them once, but she knocked out one of the employees when they jumped out at her so she now has a permanent ban
- Dick used to keep those alphabet fridge magnets at his apartment, but he kept finding them rearranged to spell swears and he still has no idea who was doing it
- Tim has a photographic memory which he uses to spout off random facts when someone annoys him
- Bruce: “try that again and I bench you” 13-year old Tim: “well did you know pigeons can be trained to tell the difference between Picasso and Monet paintings” Bruce: “okay”
- All of the younger bats think Jason was the problem child, but it’s actually Dick. Bruce tells them this constantly and they never believe him
- Jason doesn’t visit the manor often, but when he does, he always makes sure no one’s home. He’ll sit in his childhood bedroom that Alfred has kept immaculately clean with all the lights off for hours. He slips out as soon as he hears someone come home
- Jason chooses to ignore that his bedsheets are always newly washed because he knows Alfred is doing it in case he ever decides to come home
- He doesn’t know that Alfred used to do it when Jason was dead, too
- Alfred only ever lets Duke wash dishes because he’s the only one he can trust not to break them
- Dick is ridiculously good at juggling
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