This guy is the smartest goon ever in the DC Universe!! He actually has self preservation and knows his limits! He knows he can’t beat Batman!!

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE!!! MENACINGLY!!!!

Bruce: “Why is there a 300$ charge for an Elmo suit and 5 gallons of silver paint on my credit card?”

me thinking about no capes au again: :-)

Bruce: “while I’m gone Jason’s Batman”

Dick: “are you crazy?”

Bruce: “Dick when you cover for me everyone knows it’s not the real batman, you’re too nice. When Jason fills in they just think Batman’s having a really bad week”

Jason: “I’m going to fuck so many people up”

the idea of batman taking something as simple as aspirin after fighting aliens in space is the funniest thing ever

I like how the fandom decided that under Batman's cape is some sort of 'bigger on the inside' dimension where all his kids can hide.

Take a wild guess who’s who

Recently I've been having that show The Circle on in the background, and I couldn't get the idea out of my head of a bunch of people catfishing as the same famous person. So did it with DC cast. I was thinking the Justice League get caught up with Mr. Mxyzaptlk whos a fan of the show and are forced to play it.

“Also, I’m gonna leave the phone right here. Don’t worry I’ve already keyed in the 9 and the 1.”

wayne family memes

bat memes

Father and son duo but they’re both morons.

Could you imagine if the next Batman film was like centered on Bruce but like the batfam is in background.

Bruce is on a call in a car, the car stops, a kid in a school uniform gets in.

Bruce is talking to someone, a teen in a superboy shirt is passed out in the corner, Bruce puts a blanket on him and keeps walking.

Bruce is in the bat cave, two people are seen in the background sparing.

Bruce is getting coffee and a kid in yellow is up eating breakfast.

Just the kids in the background no explanation their just doing normal bat things.

Them

More Alfred and Young Bruce

By “tomorrow” he means in 4 hours when school starts

Someone write an au where a pizza chain finds out the batfams secret identity from their Very specific pizza orders

Pizza maker: “… oh snap they’re the Wayne’s. That’s crazy”

Dick: You know that voice in your head that tells you you’re doing something kinda wrong?

Bruce: You mean the one that sounds like Clark?

So one of the first ideas I had for Superbats was one where Bruce doesn't know Superman's ID and dislikes him very much but falls in love with Clark Kent which baffles him because of moments like these and his past preface for dating kinky grey villains.

I love Jason being full of angsty daddy issues as much as the next person, but you know what beats all of that? Jason taking full advantage of the fact that Bruce would crumble like a leaf at any positive interactions Jason had with him. This includes calling him ‘dad’ when he wants to get away with things, playful banter that borders on sitcom levels of cheesy affection when he wants to distract him, and at one point, calling himself Batman’s son and getting a massive intimidation point over some villains. Jason knows damn well that Bruce is soft like putty and can manipulate him into anything he wants with the barest amount of familial affection. Dick is berating him for being an asshole, Tim is salty that its only Jason who can get away with this, Damian is appalled at how easily it works, Steph and Barbara find the whole thing hilarious, and Cass is taking bets on how long it lasts. Its glorious.

This is Bruce with his two oldest sons except they are TWENTY five and TWENTY two