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bat-stuff · 10 months

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Batman: Gotham is quiet tonight

Batman, suspicious: too quiet

Meanwhile five blocks away:

Teen Dick: Swiper no swiping!

Criminal, crying: I'll turn myself in just please stop talking

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tinkerelle · 2 years

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Bruce : if we're gonna date you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.

Clark : you have seven evil ex partners-

Bruce : seven evil exes. yes.

Clark : and I have to fight-

Bruce : Defeat

Clark : Defeat your seven evil exes if we're going to continue to date?

Bruce : pretty much.

#dc comics #dc incorrect quotes #bruce wayne incorrect quotes #batman incorrect quotes #superbat #Clark kent #bruce wayne x clark kent

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it-happened-once-in-a-meme · 9 months

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Twitter AU

Bruce Wayne✅️ @brucewayne

Don't worry, we're not changing the name of Wayne XDustries. Haha, got you there

#brucie wayne #bruce wayne #bruce wayne twitter #dc universe #dc twitter #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect bruce wayne quotes #bruce wayne incorrect quotes #twitter #x #funny #twitter au

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 4 months

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Selina to bruce : "You Wear A Mask For So Long You Forget Who You Were Beneath It."

#incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #selina kyle #dc comics incorrect quotes #dc #dc characters #dc comics #dc batman #bruce wayne incorrect quotes #selina kyle incorrect quotes #source : V for vendetta #cat woman #catwoman #catwoman incorrect quotes #bruce wayne #bruce and selina #incorrect dc comics #incorrect dc quotes #dc universe

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httpsclarye · 2 years

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Bruce: how can I communicate to stray cats that I am their ally?

Selina: do I look like I have a PhD in feline linguistics?

Bruce:

Selina: ok, so you have to…

#incorrect #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc comics incorrect quotes #dc #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #batman incorrect quotes #bruce wayne incorrect quotes #selina kyle #selina kyle incorrect quotes #catwoman #catwoman incorrect quotes

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milky04moo · 2 years

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Jason: I need some moral support

Y/N: your ass is great

#Jason Todd #incorrect quotes #BatFam #dc incorrect quotes #bruce wayne incorrect quotes

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vodrae · 5 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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mindflayer-inc · 24 days

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Batman AU

Batman tells Gordon that he doesn't kill. Thinking that it's a legality issue, Gordon deputizes Batman and gives him a gun and badge. Batman of course doesn't use the gun and just figures Gordon is stressed.

After Joker kills a Robin, Gordon starts to deputize the Batfam members.

Gordon: Next time you see that clown. Take. The. Shot. Rookie.

Robin (Tim, tiny ass 14 year old holding a 45 magnum): Umm... Yes sir?

Batman (plus all the Rogues, minions, and citizens of Gotham when Robin shows up with a 45 Magnum):

#incorrect quotes #batman #batfam #robin #commissioner gordon #bruce wayne #tim drake #joker would probably find it funny #riddler would call cps #random thugs would give batman shit for “giving” robin a gun #yeah 45 magnum isnt standard issue but its funnier if it was

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bruciemilf · 1 month

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Damian: Baba. I’ve acquired an enemy at the academy. He’s been ripping my drawings, teasing me about my lineage, and smearing your honor. I understand murder can’t happen. How shall I proceed?

Bruce: [Has a flashback of Thomas driving to his bully’s house, spiked brass knuckles on his hands, petting his head and smiling dangerously, ‘I’ll be right back, chum!’]

Bruce: …I’ll talk to his parents.

Damian: Todd?

Jason: Finally, an excuse to tackle a 10 year old.

#bruce: nO-#damian: then what do you propose we do!!! this beast knows no peace!!!#bruce: we buy his father’s company and make him take an unpaid internship.#damian: father!!! that is…inhuman. I praise you.#bruce wayne #damian wayne #jason todd #dc comics #dc #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batdad #bruce is very protective of his birdies pass it on #batman #text post

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ditzybat · 1 month

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bruce: he’s killed people

damian [who’s heard stephanie say this at least 10x a day]: but have you considered that maybe he’s just a teenage girl?

jason: yeah! have you considered that bruce?!

bruce: jason, you’re 22 and a male

#dc #dc comics #robin #redhood #jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #batbros #incorrect quotes

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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 18 days

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Bruce, during a family meeting: this is just a reminder therapy is covered by our health insurance plan

Tim: why do you always look at me when you say that

#batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #dc #dc incorrect quotes #batman #tim drake #bruce wayne

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bat-stuff · 9 months

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Journalist talking to Bruce at a Gala:

Journalist: And your son, Richard, he seems like a sweet boy.

Bruce, sweating: yes hes a very well behaved kid

Meanwhile:

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: if I time it just right, I can drop this cheese slice on that man's head

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it-happened-once-in-a-meme · 2 months

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Gotham Characters React to Twitter Renaming to X (Incorrect Quote with Edward Nygma x Oswald Cobblepot, Bruce Wayne & Selina Kyle, Barbara Kean x Tabitha Galavan, and Jim Gordon & Harvey Bullock) 🐦😂

Edward Nygma: The renaming is not only stupid because of the problems that can come up when putting a single letter into a search system, but also because of the already gained famous status of its former name, along with the numerous jokes and memes. In this esssy I will-

Oswald Cobblepot: What can I say, there's only space for one iconic bird😌💁‍♂️

Edward: Figuratively speaking...yes.

Oswald: *beams*

Selina Kyle: Catter. Nevermind, sounds stupid.

Bruce Wayne: Should I try and schedule a meeting with him?

Selina: Hah, yeah, while you're at billionaire business, why don't you also start a clothing branch for Wayne Industries and let me model with cats in a weird photoshoot for the first collection?

Bruce: Sounds interesting, I'll go-

Selina: Did he just...? Leave?

Barbara Kean after entering the room: My, did I hear cat photoshoot? Can I bring Tabitha? She scratches too.

Meanwhile, Harvey Bullock: Yeah, so one of your "x"s-

Jim Gordon, triggered, also didn't hear about the change: What is she planning?!

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 2 months

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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #bruce wayne #dc robin #robin #damian wayne #he is SO ground #he’s gonna be UN-emancipated

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elecilaombre · 25 days

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Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?

Jason* laughing* : Some what ?

Tim : Pespi .

Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.

Tim : That's what I said Pespi.

Tim : Pespi

Duke : Please would you...

Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi

Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.

Damian : Ambidextrous ?

Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !

Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !

Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.

#tim drake #batfam #jason todd #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #duke thomas #stehanie brown #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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lustwithoutlore · 2 months

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

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