#bruce: now you're getting me

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

#he pieces it together later but i mean. its so hard for him to miss now that hes looking back at it #like why is he always always always cold with a turtleneck on and heating blasting #why is his appetite so scarce? how come his sleep deprived body withstands hours - sometimes DAYS - of patrol #and functions perfectly? how come time passes by but he stays the same? why wont clark and dick stop giving gim #*him looks of loving grief? #why does harley slam her fists on her head when she sees him? ' no no no you're gone. you're GONE. I KNOW you are!' #why does selina smile at him with such heavy pity ' sorry bruce. i don't do ghosts' #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #clark kent #dick grayson #jason todd #bc they def exclude the cloning. they dont want another bruce. they want THEIR bruce. tim #like can you imagine jason getting up in tim's face and just ' if you're not gonna stand by us then stay out of our way' #dark bruce? tired. dark BATKIDS? sign me the FUCK up #batdad #text

[batfamhyperfixation]

I need more content of Tim's jealousy when other siblings come in and become close to Dick. Like every time someone says Damian is Dick's favorite it hurts my heart a little cause I know how Tim would feel.

It's one thing for a younger sibling to grow up with you, cause like at least then you all have your defined roles and it's like what you know so you aren't stepping on one another's toes, but like it's something completely else to have a sibling who is already grown up come into the family and become siblings with your sibling.

It is just like that longing feeling when you see them together and like they haven't known each other as long yet they seem closer to your sibling than you are, and everyone knows they are the favorite and you are just like how do they get along so well with so little effort.

I need more Tim and Dick content like this. The boy went from being Dick's only sibling still around (aka no competition for being brothers and nothing to compare it to) to being like 1 of 5 of dick's siblings, and I know this also goes in reverse where the newer sibling is jealous of the older two siblings for already having the established bond, but I dont see enough of Tim having bitter envy of how close Damian and Dick are despite not knowing each other as long, like you want angsty relationships DC, show me this instead of just everyone trying to kill Tim, show me silent envy that grows more and more as it slowly decays a sibling relationship instead of like a weird ritual where if you wanna be apart of the family you have to attempt to kill tim

#sometimes i just need angsty tim #not tim getting targeted by siblings or tim getting annoyed at siblings #just Tim who finally became brothers with his idol and hero and formed a relationship with having to watch as it goes from their small #contained group of dick tim Bruce and babs where tim is like the best brother dick has got to everyone especially damian coming in #and tim feeling crowded out and jealous as damian and dick become closer than tim and dick ever were and tim slowly pulls away #and at first dick not even noticing and tim feeling guilty every time a dispute comes up and feeling guilty over how happy he feels when #damian ticks dick off and tim starts throwing himself into other things and flakes/cancels on things he and dick have planned and #finally one time tim and dick are sitting around and tim is like i miss how close we were and dick laughing is like well you're so busy now #and tim is like 'well its not like you need me anyway you have damian and jason and cass and duke and- nevermind' tim cuts himself off #dick is like 'timmy you know im still here for you just like before' and tim is just like 'yeah sure whatever' and heads out and then dick #starts noticing that tim is keeping him at arms length so he keeps trying to connect and he sees how tim keeps getting close with others #but that he refuses to with dick and then the jealousy is both ways and slowly they start to come together again as brothers and things #arent quite the same and probably will never be but they are still brothers and they love each other #but things are complicated when you go from the only sibling to having like 5 siblings and i want that explored more #i want these complex sibling relationships dc. give me this over trying to kill tim. there is more to siblings than the cain instinct. #anyway thats my rant #tim drake #dick grayson #batkids #batfam #bat family #batsiblings

[mid-nightowl]

…can i ask you to share more of your thoughts on fem!jaytim vibes

hi cory!!!! yes, yes i can :) <3

most of my thoughts come from this lil snippet and my tags.

my thoughts on fem!jaytim can be boiled down to this line: “Her successor fascinates her. She kind of wants to let him dissect her, little freak that he is.” 

like tim is a freak who would absolutely want to dissect and take jaye apart piece by piece just to get to the bottom of whatever the hell is wrong with her (obsessive) and jaye would let him bc she wants to know what the hell is wrong with him (affectionate). 

It’s almost a scientist and their never-ending experiment, but not quite?

like the dissection, its the act, the intimacy, the trust in being vulnerable and completely open on the table for them to see, a show and a sight but not a performance, it's the ‘i’m going to take you apart piece by piece, not to fix you or change you, but just to understand you’, and 'i’m going to get my hands dirty and dig into you, and it can be voluntarily or not, it can be with anesthesia or nothing but im going to know you whether you like it or not,' paired with 'you are going to have to cut me open to get to know me, it has to be cold and violent, it has to be artful and methodological.'

but jaye started off with ‘i want to destroy you, take you to the brink, the edge of despair and fury and hatred and let you go without any catharsis,’ kind of like capturing a wild animal, testing on it, and then releasing it back into the wild with a tag to see what it will do after being changed (will it return back to it’s normal routine or will it come back for more?)

and then tim kept coming back. and that's when jaye is like alright yeah, i'll let you rip me open and give me a name (or maybe give me back my name?) and tim does, and he does it carefully, adoringly, obsessively.

and i think tim’s obsessive focus, paired with the idea of the knife/scalpel = love, is what jaye would respond to best. she was raised in violence, and probably thinks that fighting and pain is caring and love, AND she’s never been a priority in anyone’s life. so for tim to obsess and know her in ways that no one else has before (or have even bothered) is captivating, exciting, and absolutely mind-boggling, and i think jaye would get possessive, like ‘this robin, this little freak is mine.'

i, hmmm. running out of coherent thoughts after this, so um i guess enjoy? <3

#asks #felinemotif #i don't write/talk about jaytim very much; ive always been a jaydick girlie #but this was a lot of fun to think about and like actually get down my thoughts in a somewhat coherent manner #i think there's another piece here about the dissection as an intimacy that only requires the subject and the surgeon/scientist #and the idea of labelling and taking photos of the parts something about learning and teaching but also remembering #another part: once the dissection is done once tim knows all of jaye does he stay? #which i think devolves into jaye going out of her way to prolong the dissection bc she thinks it may be temporary between her & tim #whereas tim is thinking okay i know all the pieces and parts which means im the perfect partner for jaye #no one knows her better than me AND no one will get to know her like i do #(the whole dissection thing too like tim is not afraid about hurting jaye whereas bruce is bc he knew her before) #(bruce thinks “dissection” would = change bad or good while tim knows it just means learning and knowing) #like it's going to be painful before it gets better and bruce doesn't want to go through the pain of knowing this version of jaye #bc it means acknowledging what he's done or not done #and tim's a fixer at heart but to fix things you gotta know what you're dealing with #problem is tim fell in love and realized fixing things would just make it worst so #he is very content with his tall gf that could kill him with her thighs and lets him do his freaky experiments<3 #okay wow i was not done with the thoughts ajfkagjbsg imma stop now #jaytim #fem!jaytim

[marielle-heller]

Ash vs Evil Dead 3x07: Twist and Shout

#bruce campbell #arielle carver-o'neill #ash williams #brandy williams #ash vs evil dead #my gifs #my edit #look ash has spent so much of his life having people believe he is capable of truly horrible things #and i just think that having a daughter who finally comes around to you only to become convinced you're a murderous demon #who deserves to die... like that's gotta really fucking hurt </3 #also fun fact that this was probably THE most stressful episode for me like it's fucking it was too much cause i just #wanted them to be getting along 🥺 #but now that i know what happens i appreciate it #also apologies about the last set and then this set and the one i'm contemplating next <3

[redrobin-detective]

yeah sure, have another chapter why not

#i dont think I said this last time bc I was rushing to post so I could sleep #but the real origin of this story was my latent but undying fury at how DC handled the fake Tim dying in like 2017-2018 #we get like one panel of bruce and steph crying over tim and then back to business as usual??? are you fucking kidding me #bruce lost his mind over dami and jason and you're telling me the family loses its major stabilizing member and they're just chilling? #if Tim died it would be an absolute emotional clusterfuck and god I wanted to show that #not just bc like -grief but tim pulled B back from the brink before who will do it now that he himself is gone? #told through a very emotionally wrung out superboyfriends POV who very much does not want to be involved with Bat BS

[aingeal98]

You know when a show has a mainly female cast and the fandom is compromised of 90% gay women and any male character is either tolerated as a lesbian ally or dead/used as a jerk for hurt comfort fics/both? That's me with most of the DC men. They can stay as side characters supporting nonbinary folks and women's stories but any attempt to centre them and my eyes droop shut.

#dc rambles #This mainly goes for Bruce Jason and Tim #Dick is 50 50 and Damian and Duke I find it easy to get engaged with fics about them #But Tim or Jason centric fics are just not for me like ok you're sad what's your sister up to right now #Is she having a good day is patrol going well is she going to show up at all since you baited me into reading this fic by tagging her #dc

[magentagalaxies]

re-editing some stuff for the buddy cole doc trailer rn (bruce sent me his notes and they were all very good just a few changes to make it even better) and i keep thinking about how one of my professors who knew kith last year one time interrupted me in the middle of telling him a toronto story after class and was like "y'know you actually remind me a bit of bruce. you have very similar speech patterns" and now as i'm having to hear my voice and bruce's voice back to back on this editing timeline i'm like oh shit we do talk similarly

#like my voice itself doesn't sound like his but my rhythm does #the way that professor described it is bruce tends to talk quickly like he has a lot of ideas in his head that need to get out #but at certain points in a phrase he'll just kind of pause #and say the next bit like he's trying to convince himself or like that one specific word required that much more focus #and i didn't notice it talking to bruce specifically bc like when you're in the moment youre not thinking those things #but now i'm like oh yeah that is very funny how like. this is just the way i talk i didn't pick it up from him #but i just naturally have that way of speaking #also i think bruce has a very unique voice like i could recognize his voice instantly #and i've been told my voice is very distinctive? i don't know how to judge it bc idk what i sound like to other people #but yeah bruce has even told me when we were at the premiere for his most recent show together and we were on opposite ends of the room #he could still hear the tone in my voice not even bc i was loud but just bc i have a very jessamine voice #aaaa i'm so excited to be back in town in a few days i seriously can't wait

[martyrbat]

red hood: the lost days #6

[ID: Jason Todd pinning the Joker down in a puddle of gasoline by sitting on his chest. Jason is without his helmet with it laying in the gasoline near them. He has red eyeshadow around his eyes in the shape of his Robin mask and is snarling through gritted teeth down at the Joker, who's smiling up at him. Jason's muscular arms are exposed by wearing a black tanktop and blue jeans while the Joker is in his pinkish purple suit. Jason is holding a lit torch and behind them is a barricade of flammable barrels and the bright, full moon. In front of the moon is Batman with his cape flared out to resemble wings, his only visible feature being his glowing eyes. END ID]

#i know his dramatics and revenge fantasy gets the best of him but for the joker it just. didn't make sense #'i want it to be long and painful like how he beat & killed me' can be something yea but?? to actually stop ? #have him fantasize and build up this idea of what itll be like to kill joker and then the toppling down as hes still just so traumatized #and hurt. have him realizing how it didnt magically fix everything while also being confident in his choice because that risk of another #kid being merciless beaten or killed is gone. that he killed a horrible person and the world is better because of it #just... he isnt the world. #he stopped potential harm for others he feels good in killing joker he believes it was the best thing to do and he did it #but? what do you do when that harm isnt potential? when it isnt a threat but instead a memory that you have to relive through with every #single breath that you aren't supposed to have in the first place? #you did what you surely must been brought back to life to do. but now youre alive and you're alone and you dont know what else to do. #then have his anger or betrayal feelings at bruce. have jason developing and discovering himself #not as robin. not as a vengeful ghost. not as anything. but as jason todd and how hes carving his own destiny and the universe doesnt know #how to handle that. let him go through grief and trauma and anger. let him be cunning and a bitch. let him have the biggest heart. #let him work his way through crime rings and solo work and be a drug lord and how he helps gotham directly and just have some growth that #isnt centered around the man that killed him and the man that failed him. #jason todd #the joker #red hood #c: red hood: the lost days | i: 6 #crypt's panels #lost days #covers

[myautisticpov]

So, I’ve been saying ever since they introduced Smart Hulk to the MCU that if they wanted to do She-Hulk, it was now going to be messy, and yeah, look, I love 99% of the first episode, but, like, I do actually wish that as part of her snarky intro in the beginning, she had just skipped over the origin story, rather than giving us an entire episode on it

But I get it, comics Bruce was in his Lonely Man era, MCU Bruce is not, it doesn’t make sense for MCU Bruce to leave Jen alone after she’s exposed to his blood

Anyway, this is all just pre-amble to the thing that annoyed me, which is the fucking “I’m a woman, so that makes me better at controlling my anger” thing

And I’m not even saying that they couldn’t have made that work... But... But but but but but... They just had to have the preceding line be Bruce trying to get Jen to at least be open to DBT, which is one of the tools that helped him

And so, to me, that inclusion meant that the scene did not come across as a #GirlBoss moment, it came across like a neurotypical woman getting mad at a neurodivergent man for trying to be helpful, and basically dismissing mental healthcare as a thing that women don’t need because life teaches us to be in control of our emotions???

Like, I get it, in the grand context, Bruce isn’t listening to Jen and is trying to push his way of doing things on her. But also, like... He is correct that if she hulks out and loses control, like he did, that’s going to lead to potential deaths, and she’s being really fucking flippant about that???

Idk, like I said, I think the second they introduced Smart Hulk and got MCU Bruce out of his Lonely Man era, it was always going to make the She-Hulk origin messy, and there was always a much bigger danger of making She-Hulk’s ability to remain Jen when she hulks out a bio-essentialist thing, but yeah, while the game was rigged and they were probably always going to miss the mark, they missed it in a way that really annoyed me

#also it's bad that the car accident was caused by a spaceship looking for Bruce and not a mob boss that Jen pissed off as a lawyer #this episode really needed to cut back on the Bruce content or double down on it #because yeah it would actually be really fucking traumatic to discover that becoming a rampaging monster wasn't inevitable and you're just #broken #but they don't address that because it's not his show #so you just have Jen getting mad at him for having what is actually a pretty mild trauma response given the situation #which is fine if you're setting up one of Jen's character flaws to be that she's impatient and unempathetic when annoyed #but the GirlBoss framing gives the impression that that was not the intent #honestly it should have been a five minute intro of Jen getting into a car wreck with her visiting cousin Bruce because mobsters from a case #she's working on attacked her #paramedics show up and are like 'she needs blood now or she'll die' #bruce realises that it's potentially make her a hulk or she dies so he gives her the blood #and that's when the alien spaceship shows up and just straight up abducts him #and then Jen realises that she's a hulk but also in control and decides to try to hide it including from Bruce who she's mad at for leaving #and then you get the courtroom scene #but yeah i get why they wanted more bruce #and the two actors have really great chemistry #but it's just weird and awkwardly handled for me

[bruciemilf]

Haunted by gladiator! Bruce and consort Clark/Talia thoughts

#like. im utterly pathetic when it comes to worldbuilding. but let me set the scene okay #you're bruce wayne. you're carved out of your mother's stomach when your kingdom is invaded while your father's head rots on a spike #you used to be a prince; you used to be someone. and now you're a battle spawn -- a thing. less than nothing. a machine of gory #entertainment. you refuse to kill. everytime you do they punish you. everytime you care HURTS. you keep caring #you never hated anybody but your emperor might just make you. the first fight you lose is to a blue eyed CHILD. trembling in his armor #before you. you let him pierce your abdomen. when you fall you hear him weep. when you fall you see the king's consort - a new one z #look at you with big eyes and shock. you 're bruce wayne getting sewned back in place because you'll be dead before you're free #you're bruce wayne and the king's consort comes to see you regularly. they ask you 'just name what you desire. i'll do my best to get it' #you're bruce wayne and you haven't spoken in years. battlespawns don't speak. speaking is for people. you point at your abdomed #*abdomen and lay back in bed. you're bruce wayne and the king's consort touches you gently and you weep. #text #gladiator bruce au #aaaAAAAA #superbat #brutalia

[worstloki]

how does sigyn fit in with tesseroki?

Tengen Uzui 🤝 Loki

(has three wives and literally no one else is happy to learn this)

#''why does HE get three wives?!??!'' ''the Tesseract isn't a wife actually. no one's sure on them. except the 3 others i suppose'' #tony stark on his knees asking pepper to marry him so he can have at least 1 bc what stage will he stand on when talking to loki now #clint: heh #steve: you're not married either barton i don't see what's funny #clint: (can't blow his cover but is really tempted to just for tony's reaction) #tony loudly complaining about how he's losing to a supervillain #tony: technically rhodey and i got married in vegas that one time and it wasn't legally binding and neither of us accept a priest BUT-- #thor: please calm down he will still be there to fight you sometime this week i am sure #tony: i can't just repulsor a guy with three wives it'll make me look inadequate or like im trying to compensate for my lack of pepper or-- #bruce is the only one being normal about this and politely asking thor about asgardian culture or whatever #thor like oh it's not really legal on asgard but they're all from different realms and neither wants divorce compensation so it's accepted #like the most mildly mannered conversation ever between an alien prince and a phys-chem major scientist #while tony wails in the background and everyone else is lowkey gloomy about this info too #tesseroki #sigyn/loki #logyn

[forevercloudnine]

SPLIT TIMELINE?!

lmao yeah so I did NOT understand it going in, but the reason why Bruce canonically died in Death of the Justice League and is currently still dead in Dark Crisis while obviously canonically still being alive in Chip Zdarsky's Batman run (which started this month with Batman #125) is because DC split the timeline. So chronologically Batman and basically all of DC's other titles are all happening BEFORE Dark Crisis, even though from our perspective they're being published at the same time. This is so DC can have its cake (most popular characters die dramatically and they can write stories about other characters reacting to that) and eat it too (they can still regularly publish comics starring said popular characters). Presumably when Dark Crisis wraps up and the Justice League is inevitably resurrected through space magic, the timelines will merge back together and the popular characters will remain at the front of their titles with a brief nod to the fact that they died and came back to life. Except for Green Arrow, who I think might be "permanently" dead now. "Permanently" in air quotes because he is, you know. A comic book character.

#dark crisis #green arrow #oliver queen #like he's the only one who died via being murdered physically vs. being dissolved into dust via space magic #and being dissolved into dust via space magic just seems much easier to reverse. like just do more space magic #anyway now that it HAS been explained to me i honestly really like this as a model #it's definitely confusing as hell. but also i like comics with bruce in it #so this way i still get comics with bruce in it. AND i may yet get my batman funeral issue in dark crisis #truly things are all coming up bela #also as someone who reads archived comics a lot #i appreciate this for the sake of future comic readers who are just trying to read through. say. the main batman title #because it's ALWAYS super confusing when you get to some huge event that kind of impacts the title for several issues #and nothing makes sense but then ultimately it doesn't matter because that's how big crossover events work #presumably because of this set-up dark crisis will only effect dc's main titles in the form of a few panels of dialogue + an editor's note #which is so much more manageable. and also easy to just ignore if you decide you're not interested in following whatever it was #i assume this is dc having learned its lesson from doomsday clock and the various 'metal' events

[autisticcassandracain]

Reading Blue Beetle: Graduation Day and I have to ask. Since when does Jaime listen to the Justice League.

#i'm reading blue beetle graduation day only now bc i was waiting for it to finish btw #i've also tried my best to avoid as many spoilers as physically possible #barely on issue 2 but enjoying it fine so far #but the fact that superman CAN ground jaime is so weird to me. like that's not his boss?? #i'm assuming it's a post-flashpoint thing #presumably his relationship with the justice league is better since he. y'know. never got left in space for a year #but it's still weird. jaime isn't a sidekick?? he's a solo hero??? why does the justice league have the power to just. ground him. #like it's not like they came to him and said 'hey we intercepted the reach's transmission and it looks like they're planning an invasion' #'we're worried about you and would like you to sit this one out if possible. we'll call if we need help' #and then waited to see how jaime would respond. they just went 'jaime you're grounded' and jaime said 'okay boss' #also i realize that they're clearly setting up some '(attempted) hijacking' arc with jaime and i'm assuming batman realizes this #but still. bruce wayne really benching the world's foremost expert on kicking reach ass because the reach is invading. #i'm sure that won't backfire in any way shape or form #like. buddy. pal. if ur worried about jaime getting hijacked by the reach then putting him to the side isn't gonna help #and if ur not ur just being phenomenally stupid #trying very hard not to judge this series by pre-flashpoint standards bc that's unfair #but man. i miss the jaime who got a transmission from oracle and blasted his computer to shut her up #pre-flashpoint jaime to infinite frontier jaime: personally I would NOT let that thing slide #liveblogging #my posts #jaime reyes

[mcmansionhell]

we've found it folks: mcmansion heaven

Hello everyone. It is my pleasure to bring you the greatest house I have ever seen. The house of a true visionary. A real ad-hocist. A genuine pioneer of fenestration. This house is in Alabama. It was built in 1980 and costs around $5 million. It is worth every penny. Perhaps more.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Come on, Kate, that's a little kooky, but certainly it's not McMansion Heaven. This is very much a house in the earthly realm. Purgatory. McMansion Purgatory." Well, let me now play Beatrice to your Dante, young Pilgrim. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

It is rare to find a house that has everything. A house that wills itself into Postmodernism yet remains unable to let go of the kookiest moments of the prior zeitgeist, the Bruce Goffs and Earthships, the commune houses built from car windshields, the seventies moments of psychedelic hippie fracture. It is everything. It has everything. It is theme park, it is High Tech. It is Renaissance (in the San Antonio Riverwalk sense of the word.) It is medieval. It is maybe the greatest pastiche to sucker itself to the side of a mountain, perilously overlooking a large body of water. Look at it. Just look.

The inside is white. This makes it dreamlike, almost benevolent. It is bright because this is McMansion Heaven and Gray is for McMansion Hell. There is an overbearing sheen of 80s optimism. In this house, the credit default swap has not yet been invented, but could be.

It takes a lot for me to drop the cocaine word because I think it's a cheap joke. But there's something about this example that makes it plausible, not in a derogatory way, but in a liberatory one, a sensuous one. Someone created this house to have a particular experience, a particular feeling. It possesses an element of true fantasy, the thematic. Its rooms are not meant to be one cohesive composition, but rather a series of scenes, of vastly different spatial moments, compressed, expanded, bright, close.

And then there's this kitchen for some reason. Or so you think. Everything the interior design tries to hide, namely how unceasingly peculiar the house is, it is not entirely able to because the choices made here remain decadent, indulgent, albeit in a more familiar way.

Rare is it to discover an interior wherein one truly must wear sunglasses. The environment created in service to transparency has to somewhat prevent the elements from penetrating too deep while retaining their desirable qualities. I don't think an architect designed this house. An architect would have had access to specifically engineered products for this purpose. Whoever built this house had certain access to architectural catalogues but not those used in the highest end or most structurally complex projects. The customization here lies in the assemblage of materials and in doing so stretches them to the height of their imaginative capacity. To borrow from Charles Jencks, ad-hoc is a perfect description. It is an architecture of availability and of adventure.

A small interlude. We are outside. There is no rear exterior view of this house because it would be impossible to get one from the scrawny lawn that lies at its depths. This space is intended to serve the same purpose, which is to look upon the house itself as much as gaze from the house to the world beyond.

Living in a city, I often think about exhibitionism. Living in a city is inherently exhibitionist. A house is a permeable visible surface; it is entirely possible that someone will catch a glimpse of me they're not supposed to when I rush to the living room in only a t-shirt to turn out the light before bed. But this is a space that is only exhibitionist in the sense that it is an architecture of exposure, and yet this exposure would not be possible without the protection of the site, of the distance from every other pair of eyes. In this respect, a double freedom is secured. The window intimates the potential of seeing. But no one sees.

At the heart of this house lies a strange mix of concepts. Postmodern classicist columns of the Disney World set. The unpolished edge of the vernacular. There is also an organicist bent to the whole thing, something more Goff than Gaudí, and here we see some of the house's most organic forms, the monolith- or shell-like vanity mixed with the luminous artifice of mirrors and white. A backlit cave, primitive and performative at the same time, which is, in essence, the dialectic of the luxury bathroom.

And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion. The presence of golf, of wood, of masculine and patriarchal symbolism with an undercurrent of luxury drives that point home. The McMansion can aspire to an art form, but there are still many levels to ascend before one gets to where God's sitting.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!

#architecture #design #mcmansion #mcmansions #ugly houses #interior design #bad architecture

[platitudinalteen]

A really random Batfamily HC I like to think about is Dick winning the Olympics a few years ago, never telling anyone, and all hell breaking loose when they find out.

Jason: You did not win gold in the Olympics.... Say sike, right now.

Dick: I'm not saying sike. I did win.

Tim: How? You're too famous, you'd be recognized!

Bruce: And more importantly, what about your secret identity?!

Dick: I wore a prosthetic nose, and entered under a fake name.

Stephanie: Do you have proof of that? And maybe a picture of that nose by any chance?

Dick: It was broadcast on television in over two hundred countries, I'm sure you could find it pretty easy.

Bruce: Back to the fake name-

Dick: It wasn't hard to make an alias, I just did what we do for undercover jobs.

Tim: You used my program without telling me!

Dick: I asked! You said I could.

Tim: I did? Ohhh...yeah, now that you mention it I think I vaguely remember you saying something about going to England and needing a new ID a few years ago.

Jason: You did all of that, just to...perform? Just...just because you wanted to?

Dick: ...Yeah, pretty much. I still have the medal sitting on a shelf in my apartment and a picture of me with some other competitors hanging on the wall.

Alfred: I for one, appreciated finally getting to see the Olympics from the front row. And in my own country, no less.

Bruce: What- what does that mean? Tell me you did not go with him to the Olympics...

Alfred: I was his accompaniment for the event. It was quite a good time.

Bruce: Dick...

Dick: What? He said he always wanted to go!

#batfam shenanigans #batfamily #batfam #headcanon #jason todd #bruce wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #stephie brown

[redsray]

Batfam AU where Jason never dies, so Tim doesn't join the family the standard way. Instead, he continues pouring most of his time and energy into his photography, eventually becoming known as a popular photographer for events and all that. So now, picture this: Tim gets hired to be a photographer for a Wayne gala. Obviously, he's ecstatic, because he can take pictures of Batman, Robin and Nightwing and be in their presence for a whole night. Since Tim is so naturally talented in stealth and taking pictures unnoticed, the second one of the fam realises this they're like: this kid is good. Tim manages to go unnoticed by all 3 of them (all bat-trained, one literally batman) multiple times during the night, and even when he is noticed, he disappears before they can manage to get a good look at him; to the sheer amazement of Dick and Jason.

Jason, (very discreetly putting snacks in his suit pocket): i know you're under the table, kid.

Tim: don't mind me, Mr. Todd-Wayne, sir, just taking a few pictures

Jason: right... Jason's fine, and what pictures were you taking from under the table?!

Tim, showing him perfectly good shots of him: these.

Jason: how did you get that. it looks like you took it from the rafters

Tim, nodding: I did.

Jason, glancing at the ceiling: ...what?

Tim, gone:

Jason: no fucking way.

Dick, hearing a very, very faint camera shutter from behind him:

Dick, turning around and finding no one there: what the actual...

Dick, getting the feeling of being watched and whirling around to find Tim staring at him from across the room: ... huh.

Jason, pulling Dick aside: you see that kid too, right?!

Dick, nodding: the camera kid, yeah?

Jason: who is that.

Dick: he's one of the hired photographers, apparently. one of the best in his field, despite his age.

Jason: he's good. like, really good. snuck up on me 4 times already, the little bastard.

Dick: you too? i swear he's constantly watching. it's creepy how well he can sneak past both of us.

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: you don't think...

Dick: no. B would've told us.

Jason:

Dick:

Dick: did he get another kid and not tell us somehow

Bruce: what do you mean another kid?

Jason: you heard us. did you adopt another kid and not tell us?!

Bruce: no?? how would I even?? ... what's this about?

Dick: one of the photographers has managed to sneak up on both me and Jay multiple times already

Bruce: what.

Jason: he also can't be more than like. 15 or 16. so forgive us for assuming you took another one in.

Bruce: do you know his name?

Dick:

Jason:

Bruce: really?

Dick: in our defence, he's very hard to catch. i wouldn't be surprised if he's snuck up on you, too.

[camera shutter noise]

All of them, whipping their heads toward the sound only to find nothing but air:

Tim, smiling from the other side of the room:

Jason: do you see what we mean?!

Cue an entire night of shenanigans where it's just Dick, Jason and Bruce trying to catch Tim and learn about him. Upon finding out who he is and where he lives, Dick immediately asks to keep him as an honorary member of the family. Jason is hesitant at first but at some point Tim calls Bruce Batman instead of Mr. Wayne on accident and Jason laughs so hard he's basically won over. Bruce can do nothing but watch as Tim proceeds to come over almost every night for sleepovers and is coddled by both of his sons. And he can't deny, the kid's investigation and stealth skills are top tier. By the time Dick and Jason both start referring to Tim as 'their younger brother' Bruce has just accepted his fate.

#batfam #batman #dc comics #tim drake #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #batfam au #dick: look he's even got the dark hair and blue eyes #jason: he fits the pattern. you gotta #dick to tim: you are ours now #tim who just wanted to spend time with his heroes: oh #they declare him as theirs so he is theirs #bruce does not get a choice #he is THEIR little stalker #when jason finds out that tim follows them as vigilantes too he falls over laughing #dick wiping a tear away: he's perfect