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#bsd fics
ryuvnosuke · 9 hours
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When Dazai looks at him, Ranpo shows him a sheet of stickers. “Pick one.” Dazai blinks as if he’s just woken up. “For what?” “For your cane, duh.” “For my cane,” he echoes, as if the words fail to form logic in his brain.
some days, dazai still feels like an open wound.
2,383 words, 1/1.
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osachiyo · 5 months
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˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 by anonymous user ꒱. . . hello ! I really like your works, could I please request an insecure!reader with chuuya? and him fucking some sense into her? don't feel pressured to do this btw and feel free to ignore :D
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 note ꒱. . . here u go, nonnie ! I really liked this idea and sorry for taking so long on this request 😭 anyway, hope you enjoy ~~
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 c/w ꒱. . . (18+) n/sfw content, mentions of insecurities, body worshipper chuuya, praise, lowercase intended, hints of dumbfication, overstimulation, fingering, mirror sex, cunnilingus, chuuya eats it from the back !! 🗣️🗣️& more + not proofread
summary. . . you've been feeling insecure about your body and started to wonder if you were really good enough for someone like chuuya? but no worries, your lover doesn't mind reminding you how much he loves your body and more importantly, you.
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you sighed, staring at your reflection in the fancy full-body mirror in front of you; god, you looked horrendous. you didn't know how chuuya, one of, if not the most beautiful man you've ever met, love someone like.. you.
what you also didn't know, though, was that your beloved chuuya had been standing in the doorway the entire time, slender figure leaning against the doorframe as a dull pain throbbed in his heart while he watched, heard you pick apart your body like it was the ugliest thing you had ever seen. he watched as you ran your fingers up and down the parts you hated the most, a frown tugging at your lips as you muttered something about "not being pretty enough". he didn't understand why you'd say such things about your body− all of those beautiful parts of yours that he cherished wholeheartedly.
you whipped your head around hearing the sound of the once slightly ajar bedroom door shut, your boyfriend entering the room. "hey doll, what're you up to?" chuuya's voice was heavy, laced with something you couldn't exactly put a finger on.
"hey, chuu," you smiled, though the action didn't meet your eyes. and chuuya could tell.
his eyes narrowed, gloved hands found their way around your waist, tugging you closer to him− your back flush against his chest. when did he walk all the way across the room?
"y'know, I heard everything right?" he muttered into your neck, strong arms tightening around your figure as you gulped nervously. "chuuya I−" "you're fuckin' beautiful. so don't say hurtful shit about yourself 'cause it for sure ain't true," he cut you off, now pressing soft kisses on the back of your neck to your shoulders, gloved hands reaching up your shirt to knead and gently caress your soft skin.
a whimper caught in your throat as chuuya's hands found your breasts− pushing your bra up to grope them under your shirt. "i love all parts of your body. fuck, you're so pretty. i'll fuckin' prove it to you if i have to."
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"you see that, baby? see the way this pussy sucks my fingers in?" chuuya mused, now bare fingers plunging in and out of your sopping cunt as he had you spread in front of the giant mirror. "mm-! fuck, chuu−!" you were cut off by your own moans, beads of sweat forming on your forehead, making the little strands of your baby hair stick to your skin. "shh, baby. just focus on the way i finger fuck this pretty cunt, yeah?" your lover's voice was muffled by the soft kisses he was busy pressing all over your nape and shoulders, moving your hair out of the way to make it easier.
you could see everything in the mirror, from the way chuuya's slim fingers disappeared inside of your pussy to how much of a mess you've already become− glossy lips parted as loud moans and whines escape from your throat, the way your tits bounce and jiggle with each thrust of his digits. and hell, was it embarrassing. you jolted up when the tips of his appendages rubbed against that one spongey spot inside of your gooey walls− your jaw slacking as your eyes shut. only to receive a gentle but firm slap on your face from chuuya, "nuh-uh, baby. you're gonna watch how I please this beautiful body of yours," he growled lowly in your ear, fingers speeding up their pace as you twitch and whine in response. your vision was blurry− but you could still make out the way your face contorts to one of pure bliss in your reflection.
"yeaah− cum on these fingers, sweetheart," the ginger groaned as you soaked his fingers− your slick running down his wrist and staining the bed sheets underneath, soft curses and his name spewing out of your mouth as his fingers slowed down, aiding you to ride out your orgasm.
you gasped when he abruptly pulled them out of your still sensitive cunt− only to pop them in his mouth as he moaned from the taste of your juices melting on his tongue. "fuck, doll− I gotta taste you, need'a make you cum on my tongue−" he pushed you on your hands and knees before even finishing his sentence− a large hand pressing your back to a perfect arch, face down ass up.
"such a nice fuckin' ass," he groaned, fingers digging into the soft fat and spreading them as you whimper, pitifully clawing at the bed sheets. he playfully bit one of your globes, earning a whine in return which made him chuckle. chuuya's greedy hands ran down from your ass to your thighs, only to go back up to knead at your ass, "and these soft thighs− god, I could kiss 'em for hours."
and as if to prove himself, he started littering kisses all over your inner thighs, hands still kneading your ass before giving it a firm spank, making you jump. "hah, and of course−" he smirked before making his way to your pussy, "this pretty fuckin' pussy− prettiest one I've ever seen," he growled before diving in between your legs− hungry lips wrapping around your clit as you gasp out from the feeling.
"fu−ck! chuuya−!" you babbled, pussy still sensitive from your orgasm from earlier, his nose bumping against your slit as he runs his tongue in a zigzag motion across your clit. his fingers were spreading your ass apart for him, to get easy access to your sweet pussy that he wanted to devour so bad.
shamelessly nasty slurping noises came from between your parted thighs. your slick was already dripping down chuuya's chin as you tried your best to keep your gaze on the mirror, watching yourself getting eaten out from the back. fuck, your hair was a mess− your bare figure covered in bites and bruises that your boyfriend gave you, claiming it was his way of showing you were his. your makeup had been completely ruined; mascara running down your cheek in inky streaks, lipstick smudged− you looked utterly debauched, chuuya's favorite look on you.
a gurgled moan came out of your mouth when two fingers pushed inside of your sloppy pussy, the mafia executive's tongue now writing his name on your clit. a deep groan rumbled in his chest when you tried to run away from the feeling of his tongue and fingers on you− pulling you back before harshly cracking a palm down on your left globe, before curling his fingers further into you. tears were falling freely from your eyes at this point, mouth dropped to an 'o' as you chanted his name like a prayer− "chuu− please, fuck! s'too much−!" you cried out, if it weren't for chuuya's death grip on you, you'd already have fallen face first into the matress.
"you can− fuuck− take it, sweet girl," chuuya moaned into your pussy, the vibrations of the sound making your toes curl and apparently that was the last straw for you− "fuckfuck! 'm cummin'− cummingg−!!" your eyes rolled back into your skull as you squirted all over chuuya's face, his own hips rutting into the mattress as his eyes widen− he wasn't expecting you to do that.
chuuya gave your messy cunt a few more licks before kissing your clit, then pulling away. you looked back to see his face completely drenched− him licking his lips as he gave you a lopsided grin. "holy shit, baby. that was..." he muttered, still dazed as he ran his clean hand through his sweaty orange locks. you were still panting, chest heaving as you tried came down from the euphoric high before looking away in embarrassment, fingers fiddling with the sheets− then suddenly, you got slammed back against the bed. face down, ass up, again.
you heard a metal clink− likely his belt. the sound of expensive leather hitting the floor snapped you back into reality, he must've tossed the belt somewhere. it wasn't long before your thoughts got quickly cut off, chuuya's heavy tip slapping against your clit a few times as you whined, begging him to give you a rest but no− he wasn't gonna stop until he was sure he fucked all those negative thoughts out of your mind− wasn't gonna stop 'till all thoughts but his left that pretty little head of yours. you just had to sit still and take it, like the good girl you were.
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©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated ♡
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puppy love
Chuuya Nakahara x Reader
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fandom: bungo stray dogs
My latest fixation, Chuuya with puppies! My precious boy deserves to be happy with a doggy of his own, so I decided to play into this little fantasy of mine (and his, probably). I'm planning on writing more parts to this lil series, I think it's helping me get out of my writing slump. Also parts of this fic are inspired by Shiloh, one of my all-time favorite books (so much nostalgia...) and a bit of a reference to that one puppy episode from Wan. And the panel I used for the banner is from the BSD manga (I think it's ch. 24) I hope you enjoy!
warnings: mentions of stray animals, Reader cries but it's in relief, mostly fluff, pet names (mostly "doll" but used only once in this part), the start of a slow burn perhaps? || words: 2k
Part I | Part II | Part III
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He’s halfway through his usual trek home, muscles burning and head pounding from another successful night’s mission, when he realizes he has a shadow.
Chuuya doesn’t let up his pace; stay calm, don’t give anything away—but he has to wonder, who could be this stupid to try to follow a mafia executive? And they’re not being subtle about it either. Making no effort to conceal their breaths or their footsteps—
Wait a minute…that sounds too light to be footsteps…
He sucks in a breath and turns around to face the culprit. Hands clenched into fists at his sides, preparing for a fight—
“Woof!”
Staring up at him is perhaps one of the cutest fucking dogs he’s ever laid eyes on. (Not that he’s seen many dogs, but the point still stands.) Pointy ears, fuzzy orange fur, white paws and a belly that definitely looks too plump for a street dog.
He stares at it. The dog stares back, pink tongue lolling out the side of its mouth.
“…Woof!”
It takes every ounce of strength he can muster not to melt right then and there on the sidewalk. A thousand squeals on the tip of his tongue, gloved hands itching to scratch under that fuzzy little chin of his.
Never mind any dog hair, fuck that. Who’s gonna try to turn their nose up at this little cutie?
Chuuya briefly scans the area—not a soul in sight, just him and his companion beneath the lamplights—before dropping to his knees. The dog paws at the ground, his curly tail swishing madly in the air.
“C’mere boy,” he keeps his voice soft, holding out a hand. But the dog doesn’t budge. He just stares at him with that big dumb smile of his.
That really adorable dumb smile.
He tries again. The dog tilts his head and refuses to move. So Chuuya tries another tactic: “C’mere, girl?”
Still doesn’t move a muscle. Although now the dog looks amused as he paces from side to side, just out of Chuuya’s reach.
Yeah, gotta be a boy with that kind of attitude.
Chuuya sighs before pushing himself off the ground. Ah well, guess he’s too nervous to approach humans. Can’t really blame him for that; this city’s got its fair share of unpleasant people. He deals with them all the time, so he can kinda relate.
He shoves his hands back into his pockets (try not to think about how soft the dog’s fur must be) and turns on his heel to head home. It’s getting late anyway, and he’s got to get an early start tomorrow morning. He can’t be spending all night moping around some stray puppy following him around.
Even if he is the cutest thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
But he only gets a few steps in before hearing the unmistakable click-click of the dog’s nails against the pavement. He stops, the dog stops too. He glances over his shoulder, biting back a smile at the dog’s happy face.
“What do you want, huh? I don’t have any food, so if that’s what you’re looking for…”
Not that he looks like he needs any treats to begin with. He’s seen a few of the dogs roaming around Yokohama, all skin and bones as they pick through tipped-over trash cans. And the stray cats are no better, ears flat against their skulls as they hiss and claw at everything in sight.
So why does this dog look so fucking proud of himself?
Chuuya sighs and whistles to himself—and suddenly the dog comes running.
Two dirty paws plant themselves on his dress pants, that’ll surely be hard to get out, but how can he get angry when the dog’s trying so hard to reach his face? He chuckles under his breath as he kneels down to his level, as the dog plants kiss after kiss on his face with his slobbery tongue.
“Who knew all it took was a whistle?” he says more to himself than to the pup. The dog’s tail is wagging so hard he thinks it’ll fall off, the tiny little thing that it is.
He slides one of his gloves off, letting the dog sniff his hand before scratching him behind the ears. He was right, his fur is so soft… And his smile only gets bigger when the dog licks him again, not even minding all the drool.
But then he stiffens, slipping his fingers through the dog’s fur, noticing a red band of leather fastened around his neck. A collar? No way he’s someone’s pet. Then again, he does look a little too spoiled to be wandering the streets for food.
He curls his finger around the golden tag dangling from the buckle. No name, only an address he thinks he recognizes. Right on the edge of Yokohama, where the scent of sea salt is the strongest. Is it someone’s house? Apartment? Maybe a  shelter of some kind?
Chuuya steals another look at the dog, at those sweet brown eyes and twitching wet nose, trying his best to ignore the icy clench of his stomach. Maybe it’s for the best, just to bring him back. What’s he gonna do with a dog, anyway? Not like his job allows for much time raising a puppy, anyway.
Even one so cute as this little guy.
“Alright,” he sighs, scooping the pup in his arms, “let’s get you home.” He tries not to dwell on how warm the puppy is, or how softly he nestles his face in the crook of his shoulder.
And definitely not the way he can feel the pup drifting off to sleep as he starts down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. Gentle puffs against his skin, his curly tail twitching against his wrist.
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“Kotaro! There you are!”
The engraving on the pup’s collar has led him to a tiny little shop a few minutes from the port. A bit shabby with a torn sign on the top and windows that have definitely seen better days, and he’s about to turn tail (no pun intended) until he sees someone nearly fly out through the set of double doors.
“Kotaro!” Your voice is strained, tears streaming down your cheeks as you sweep the puppy into your arms. Clutching him as tight as you can, smoothing down the fur on his head as he stirs awake from his little nap. “I was worried sick… How did you escape again?! I could’ve sworn I locked the doors… You’re just lucky I came back downstairs when I did—or else you would’ve been out there all night long!”
The puppy only wags his tail, staring up at you with those silly eyes and sweet little “smile.” He knows it’s your weakness, how could you be angry at a face like that?
Oh, well. As long as he’s safe, you can’t really hold a grudge against him. Not when he’s back in your arms, safe and sound, and it’s just the two of you, just as it always should be.
It’s only when you hear someone clear their throat that you realize you’re actually not alone. You hastily wipe your eyes with the back of your hand—it’s a little difficult with a nearly-twenty-pound dog in your arms—and stare up at the man before you. Kotaro’s savior, your savior. And suddenly you feel a fresh wave of tears surge forth.
“Thank you for bringing him back! I’m so sorry if he’s caused you any trouble, I know he has a habit of bothering people when he sneaks out—I thought I’d kept him inside this time! He just has a thing for running away like the little troublemaker he is. He’s still young, hopefully he’ll grow out of it when he’s older, maybe he’ll mellow out and settle down, and then…”
You bite your tongue and avert your eyes. No need to scare off the stranger with your incessant rambling, especially after he was so nice to bring Kotaro back to you. But he only shakes his head, a soft smile on his lips as he tips his hat over his eyes.
“Don’t worry about it, he didn’t cause too much trouble.” He lifts a hand, allowing Kotaro to sniff him before scratching the fur beneath his chin. “Keep an eye on him, though. You don’t want him getting lost out there, especially this time of night.”
“I know… I swear, he’s gonna give me gray hairs before the end of the year. The other dogs aren’t even this mischievous, I don’t know where he got it from!”
Wait, other dogs?
He glances over your shoulder, towards the dingy windows of the shop. Pet supplies and part-time shelter, the sign plastered on the glass says. And sure enough, the closer he looks at your outfit, he can see little bits of dog fur clinging to the fabric—some gray, some brown, some white, and then a hint of orange thanks to Kotaro.
Just how many dogs do you have in there?
“Anyway, I just wanna say I really appreciate you bringing him back here. You didn’t have to, I know you’re probably busy. Let me just run inside and get my wallet, I think I have some left over if you want—”
But he’s quick to shut you down with a shake of his head, even a wave of his hands for emphasis. No money, he’s already got plenty of that to spare. And besides, it doesn’t sit right with him, paying him for something that should come naturally to any decent person.
And he doesn’t want to sound mean, but judging from the shape of that little shop of yours, you look like you can use every last cent you have.
“Oh, if you say so… But still, why don’t I make it up to you sometime?”
An uneasy silence settles in the air between you; Chuuya blinks as he watches you shift your weight, partially hiding your face in Kotaro’s fur.
“…I mean, you don’t have to—I just wanna pay you back some way! Maybe I can treat you to lunch one of these days? I don’t have many days off, but I can make it work! Or maybe…do you have a dog of your own? I can give you a discount on anything in the shop!” You throw an arm out to the double doors behind you, still holding Kotaro to your chest. “Name it and it’s yours! I really don’t mind, it’s just me here anyway. Well, me and the dogs, all nine of us.”
Wait, nine, including yourself…
“You have eight of them?!”
A laugh bubbles up in your throat at the look on Chuuya’s face. He reminds you of a child on Christmas morning, staring at the presents strewn around the glowing tree. He doesn’t seem one to enjoy the company of dogs, given his fancy attire and confident aura.
And yet, he still brought Kotaro back home, when he could’ve easily turned and walked the other way. You’ve learned not to judge a book by its cover, after all.
“Eight dogs, and hopefully more by the end of the year.” Your cheeks grow warm beneath his startling blue gaze. (His eyes are really pretty up close, aren’t they?) “…I can tell you all about them on our lunch date, if you’re interested.”
He blinks, eyes flitting back and forth between you and the dog in your arms. You’ve got guts, he’ll give you that; he can see it in the way you talk to him, the way you hold the puppy in your arms. Gentle as ever, but a fire brimming in your eyes. You love this dog, no doubt about it.
And you’ve got seven more inside? Do you love them all the same amount?
What breeds are they? How did you come to adopt so many dogs at once? Or did you adopt them at once, or sporadically over the years?
So many questions, and yet the night is crawling by. He shakes his head again, giving Kotaro one last scratch behind the ears, before meeting your gaze once more.
“Lunch sounds perfect, doll.”
Your lips pull up in a smile, and he can’t help but notice how it nearly matches the one on Kotaro’s face. Bright and eager, melting under the attention of the ones around you.
And yet your smile is infinitely prettier, and he finds himself thinking about it as he starts the familiar journey back home, as the night hours slowly tick by.
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ddostoyevskyy · 9 months
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BSD MEN!
↳ AND WHERE DO THEY LOVE TO HOLD YOU.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒... f!reader but can also be read as gn!reader, NSFW, unprotected sex, blowjob, missionary, biting/marking, size kink, slight belly bulge, just some filthy stuff that need to get out of my head.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄... 👁️👄👁️✨
BSD MASTERLIST.
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𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒, 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 — he’s a traditional lover; a classic love making — tangling your hands together in a tight clasp as he drove his hips, cock grazing your sweet spot and creating a smallest of a bulge in your stomach that made your mind blank — the pleasure of his cock pounding in your walls is all you can think of, adding the stimulation of both of your arms raise over your head as he holds it with one hand with a tight grip as you can feel the burning sensation of his nails grazing on your sensitive skin as your hips twitch; you know he’s close by the way his hand clasped on your wrists together were trembling and his moans were getting louder and breathier as you clenched around his cock — followed by a few squeezes of your fingers on his and littering his neck with kisses, adding the stimulation of your cunt squeezing his cock, he came with a breathy moan.
Nakajima Atsushi, Kunikida Doppo, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Tachihara Michizō, Fukuzawa Yukichi —
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐙𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐊, 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐉𝐀𝐖 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐒 — as his lips hover yours, but not quite touching; teasing you with a smirk on his lips when you seems desperate to kiss him while he fucks you; he loves the fucked out look on your face, though he isn’t any better; his mouth agape, lips swollen and eyebrows furrowed together, his nails graze on your jaw and you can’t look away on his eyes when you’re cumming; eyes rolling back with your mouth fell open as he push his thumb past your lips, sucking on his finger as he followed soon enough with a choked moan.
Nakahara Chuuya, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Dazai Osamu —
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐒 — as he hooks it on his shoulders, holding your thighs as a leverage to fuck himself deeper and harder as though to chase his impending orgasm that is hurling faster than he expected, his teeth would graze on the expanse of your skin on your inner thighs, creating marks and bites that will surely last longer and will make you not wear skirts the next day; though, that was the point of his marks, he huffed a breath as he was trapped between your thighs, cock ravishing your cunt in a brutal pace as he leaned in to you, the same time your thighs folded over your chest and you whimpered at the sudden stretch of your body folding in half; he had you in a mating press as he cums, your cunt leaking and milking him the same time — his release too powerful that he has no choice but to bite on your inner thigh.
Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Mark Twain —
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 — as you fasten your pace; your jaw slack as your throat restricted when you tried to take as much of his cock on your mouth — his hand tightened around your hair as you whimpered on his harsh grasp and his moans drift on the air when you use your hand to grip on the base where the remaining inches of his cock can’t fit anymore. He’s harshly pushing your hair away from your face, creating a messy ponytail just to take a glimpse of your hooded eyes and swollen lips taking his cock and when he cums — he’s pushing your head down with a grunt as he paints your throat with white thicks of ropes of cum.
Nakahara Chuuya (damn), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Edgar Allan Poe, Edogawa Ranpo —
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
All Rights Reserved 2023 ©ddostoyevskyy. Do not repost without permission or plagiarized.
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noose-lion · 9 months
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Bsd fic writers; What lil thing do you add or take away to a bsd character when writing them?
I'll go first. I make Dazai's internal monologue full of violent impulses and let him cuss (more often).
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alwaysthefool · 11 months
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Hurts Like Heaven (Dazai x You)
warnings; death, angst, disease, unrequited love, double suicide mention
tags; hanahaki disease
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[Author's note: Obligatory definition of hanahaki disease (from fanlore dot com lol)-- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. In this variation, the reader's symptoms peak up when they actually see Dazai. There's no surgery option in this one 😈]
Fuck, not him again. You could almost cry as you saw Dazai at the cafe, flirting with the waitress, making jokes again. There was no way he wouldn't know as your situation was at its worst, and you couldn't run out because you weren't in the physical condition to. The most you could do was hide your face in your arms and pray he didn't see you. You had decided not to get coffee that day, settling with just green tea to make yourself feel a little better, but you knew just seeing him would give you at least a week's worth of dreams. Just the thought hurt so much. Dazai, who had never outright rejected you, who you could never tell your feelings to, scared of the fatal rejection, but more so, rationally knowing you couldn't give him the love he needed, and he couldn't love you. Your worlds were too different-- you couldn't begin to understand him-- and his heart was elsewhere, unable to love again. You were similar too, both sad with an evil past and tragic fates. The only difference was, unlike you, he could be saved. 
And thus, you let that little dandelion seed of a wish fly out of your hand, only for it to bloom as a petal in your lungs.
You had known him for only a year and started to like him for less than and a half, and it would kill you in only a matter of weeks.
You'd just smile and hide your pain whenever you saw him, excusing yourself and going around back to cough up blood and petals. That didn't hurt as much, neither did knowing you'd die, but what hurt was seeing him. It hurt like heaven. There he was again, with that smile, those eyes that hid a world you couldn't begin to understand, those bandages that you knew hid more than scars, that hair, those hands you wished so badly to touch, even if it would kill you. Death? Blood? What was that? The only thing that caused any substantial pain was the longing, and you wanted so bad to quash it. Your solution was avoiding him and forgetting all about him eventually, no matter how long it took. As long as he didn't appear before you, it would be okay. So why, still, did you decide to stay in the city?
"If it isn't [Name]!" That rich voice chimed, and you heard the chair across you being pulled. Of course he saw you. Of course it would be like that. Of course you couldn't get your night's rest.
Part of your heart bloomed with feelings, and the other wished you hadn't stepped out of your house that day.
You removed your hands from your face, and gave him a weak smile, trying your best not to let the ache in your chest show.
"I feel like I never see you anymore." He pouted those perfect lips as an extremely deadly joke, forcing a few coughs out of you. You immediately turned away, and hid the blood and petals in your handkerchief.
"Holy shit, are you okay?" As if nothing missed his eye, he exclaimed "Is that blood?!"
"Um." You composed yourself again, despite all the pain, thinking of a lie. "Yeah, actually I... I have pulmonary hemosiderosis."
You thanked the knowledge that came from 20 seasons of Grey's, but also slightly cringed at having to keep up a ridiculous lie in front of a detective.
"Do you need any help?" To your dismay, Dazai stood up and sat beside you, putting a hand on your shoulder, making you feel like you'd explode there and then.
Three weeks of bedrest, five weeks of bad dreams, and an even shortened lifespan.
"Please get away from me." You almost cried, closing your eyes and jerking him off reluctantly.
"Alright, just relax, okay?" Even then, he was so cool as you heard him take his original seat. You slowly opened your eyes again, knowing you'd made a mess of your image in front of him. Perhaps his concerned eyes hid a resentment for you, but you didn't care. You just loved him.
"Yeah, sorry, it can be contagious." You lied, knowing he could go home and google that it was not, and hoped he didn't care about you enough to but Dazai stared at you with a look of absolute sternness. Of course he wouldn't believe your lies. But do you know? I wish you knew.
"That so?" He spoke in a way it didn't sound like a question. "Anyway, you do not seem well. Please let me take you to the hospital. Or Yosano, if you're more comfortable with that."
You had already been to Yosano once before, and she told you she couldn't cure that, wishing you all the best as you lied and told her the person you liked already rejected you. He didn't even like you enough as a friend. You were nothing to him, but the unfair universe made him mean so much to you. It wasn't like you didn't understand him. You did, and deeply, but something had gone wrong in both of your destinies that made you end up that way. Dazai was worlds apart from you, and you couldn't reach him. Maybe that pretty girl he had been talking to recently would, maybe someone like Chuuya could, maybe his friends from the agency could, but not you. No, you were just an acquaintance.
And at that moment, you realised no matter how much you tried to ignore him, it wouldn't help-- that you'd die, and you'd feel happy about it. You lost everything to someone like that, all your dreams, your precious life, your esteem and confidence, only for love. Did your life mean nothing beyond that? If you told him, and he reciprocated your feelings, you'd still die from his inciting dream of a double suicide. If he rejected you, you'd die alone. Maybe not doing anything and taking that impossible chance to make your life your own would mean something, despite the disease having a 100% fatality rate if the feelings are not reciprocated.
"No, this is normal, trust me." You finally gave him a reassuring smile. "Besides, I don't think hospitals can help anymore."
"What?" He looked shocked, reaching out to take your hand, and you let him, comforting him instead by rubbing a fragile thumb on his palm . Did he really not know? Why did he look so shocked? Did he care? Those feelings overcame you, and you coughed a little more, apologizing quickly.
"Please tell me there's a way."
You took a deep breath. "Mine's a special case. Even with surgery, there's no chance."
"No..." Dazai looked away from you, outside the window, that pained and distant expression you'd fallen for crossing his face. In that moment, you finally understood it. It was a longingness for something.
"It's fine, buddy." You pulled your hand away from him owing to the ache in your lungs. "I still want to try, you know. I want to live." He still did not look at you as he put his chin on his shaking palm. "And I wish the same for you."
He forced a smile, finally looking at you with those same dead eyes you were always curious about. Now you knew that it meant despair. Dazai was a poem you could only decipher at the brink of your death, and he was far more beautiful and pure than he knew he was.
"If I could, I'd give up my worthless life for yours."
You commanded your lungs and heart to keep at bay, as if telling death you needed a moment before peacefully accepting its call.
"Your life isn't worthless, you know. You did so many good deeds. If you feel like dying, maybe it's because you just need purpose."
Dazai's eyes widened, and it was as if, for a moment, you thought he could love you back, and things would work out, that you could save him and yourself. But those moments were always fleeting, because you knew you had no purpose either, and you'd fall into his vices like you'd fallen for him.
"Do you think you can manage a walk? The weather's beautiful today."
Dazai helped you up, and held you tightly as the two of you walked out, the blossoms from the trees flying about. The scene was almost like a movie, and you knew you were at the end, using the last of your strength to walk, the disease taking over your body completely, the pain being nothing just because he was holding you.
"You're right." You breathed. "It's beautiful. I-"
You wanted to say more to him, you wanted to be held for a little longer, you had so many dreams, and so much you wanted, but your body finally gave out, as you violently coughed blood and petals, Dazai catching you as your feet lost their hold.
"[Name]!" He yelled as he held you in his lap, scrambling his head to find a way to help you somehow, pausing when he saw the petals blossom out of your mouth. Although the thought of you loving someone else hurt him deeply, he still begged you to tell you who it was, whether you had confessed, if there was a chance.
"Hey..." You croaked through tears and coughs. "It's okay, friend. I'm happy to die in your arms."
"Don't say that! You're not dying!" He wished he knew you better to figure out who it was, and you wished he knew you better to know it could be no one else but him. That no one had showed you the kindness he had shown you, that no one helped you life he did, that no one understood you like he did. You were so happy just to have known him. He made your life better despite also making it end; he made it beautiful and gave it a little meaning.
However, you weren't strong enough to tell him all of that, so you chose your final words carefully. "Thank you for everything, Dazai. I was happy to have loved you."
He held you tightly as your eyes closed, those persistent flowers that had plagued you so finally withering as your breathing stopped. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream at you for not telling him, knowing you could be saved because he loved you too. He wished you knew that you could've saved him, that you were enough for him, that he'd overcome his own insecurities and pursued you first instead.
And in the midst of all that regret as he did nothing but hold your still warm form, a single petal bloomed in his lung.
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The Flame and The Flood
In a time where water, trash, and empty land is all that remains of humanity, Dazai Osamu thinks he's the last person alive. Sometimes he wants to change that -- do something he won't regret. Something, that for once in his god-awful life, would make a change for the better. But a memory lingers at the edge of his mind, of a fiery teen who pulled him out of the water one day, shouting that he shouldn't just die like that. It's been a long time since he saw him, since the storm that tore them apart, and he's had to live through aching loneliness he hadn't truly known before. Chuuya Nakahara is dead, he thinks. He assumes. He dreads. So why can't he die too? - on dazai, chuuya, and the sea
three chapters (1/3 out atm), skk centric, raft au, written for the @skkbigbang-2023!
aka: dazai finds reasons to live, loses one, and keeps going.
and tysm to my artist for this incredible piece for the ending scene of chapter one!!
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etrevil · 13 days
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hey!! I absolutely love the vibes of your blog! I’m getting into bungo stray dogs (or trying to :’) ) and since you seemingly write fics for it, do you have more recs?? I don’t really know what the main pairings are but I like to use fics as a way to see if I’ll like the fandom and pairs!! Thank you!!
you're making me crack my knuckles because DAMN AM I NOW EXCITED :DDD
terms used: bsd (bungou stray dogs), hp (harry potter), mha (my hero academia), soukoku (chuuya/dazai), shin soukoku (atsushi/akutagawa), chuuda (where chuuya tops), fyozai (dazai/fyodor), fyolai (fyodor/nikolai)
First and foremost is the widely beloved I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio by ElectricSplatter, which is just a rollercoaster of emotions that grip you by the throat. Do note that the chapters are hella long, but enjoyable. The relationships are fleshed out beautifully.
Magic and Mystery by Allegory_for_Hatred is also a good start because it's a bsd and hp crossover that's just, amazing. Had me up at 3am until I physically could not read. There's an ongoing sequel too!
wtf, since when are you married? by xxalwayssofia is a short, quick laugh that, for me, had one of the best characterization for soukoku. Sofia's stories in general (check her account!) have got the character's personality traits down with little creative liberties.
Ne Chuuya, won't you marry me? is another one by xxalwayssofia, and I die of laughter because of this on a daily basis.
Now, I may be mean for suggesting this, but this fic is a diamond found within a gold mine that will eventually end you up in jail because some rich dude probably owned it first. In summary, it hurts. Like a gunshot wound (wink wink to the readers). And that is Ruiner by gev_ao3 (rated the E-est of E's)! The long-awaited consequence chapter is already out for this one, so when you binge read it the ending will hopefully be satisfying. Just be aware this is incredibly graphic, psychological, and angst-filled to the brim.
I read If the Far Side Saw You by birbleh a considerable time ago, but it both pinches and caresses my heart all the same. I haven't anything else to say other than give it a chance.
Ice Queen by TheHighQueen is a great ongoing Dazai genderbend fic, that follows canon with interesting diverging road stops.
This Color Ain't It by justcallmedude has Kenji, our lovable super strength-powered farmer, as a main character! Crossover between bsd and mha with a dash of angst thrown here and there.
For a shin soukoku pairing fic, I'd suggest Fair Ankles by spirallings (rated E) and love knows no boundaries by dangodangomilk; fun, interesting stories that aren't that long, the latter's a oneshot and the former's ugh, just around 100k words :>
One of the first bsd fics I've read, which is with a fyozai pairing, is Letters from the Underground by ktaem! The writing style has its own refined edge, with the exploration of a what-if scenario that had me by hook, line, and sinker. This fic is still in my tab group because I always keep rereading it!
Now if we're entering the explicit territory, I will forever recommend my favorite series (pairing is chuuda btw) Ineffable Partners by Ch_ee_rios. The eighth installment is currently updating, and I promise, you will cry- or at least feel a significant gut punch.
Head Full of Lies by AbsoluteNegation, as my friend one said, is where the good shit's at. The premise had me instantly curious and soukoku's dynamic is wonderful, messy, and DAMN I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH.
Mors Vincit Omnia by themadtree, an soukoku and fyolai fic that will have you bending over and dying of laughter and pain. The author's other works (akai!) are also very good.
The series all that is left by alaruya is a personal favorite of mine. The writing style is unique, with choppy sentences and tear-jerker lines. Was the first story that ever had me thinking, "god I need to bookmark this," and I did.
Bottom of The Deep Blue Sea by arkastadt is a filthy, guilty pleasure. (can you tell I'm an avid bottomzai reader?)
And that's it... I think? I'm also willing to suggest Leafing Through The Pages, I Found You by YunaYamiMouto, but letting you know it's an ongoing reaction fic of the bsd cast to Dazai's life (with the author's own creative choices and headcanons), so there will be a lot, and I mean a HECK TON of spoilers. Which, to be fair, the other fics do have in sprinkles, but this tackles novel events that maybe you'd wish to read at your own pace :D
also shameless plug I have my own fic, the heat of your orange, and I know there's only one chapter but I'm trying my best to update soon
Happy reading!
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karmicpunishment · 1 month
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tachihara Michizou & Tachihara Shunzen Characters: Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tachihara Shunzen Additional Tags: Tachihara Michizou-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs), POV Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tachihara Michizou Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Poor Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Pre-Canon, his parents suck so much i won't lie, me getting upset at the parents i made up LOL Summary:
Michizou cries into his knees on the floor of the closet. It's dark. The door is locked.
He wants to leave.
or
Tachihara uses his ability for the first time
new fic time woo hoo
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ryuvnosuke · 7 days
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Dazai closes his eyes and even thinks about taking a nap, if only to ignore the pain in his leg, but then Ranpo snaps their fingers and pulls the lollipop out of their mouth with a loud pop. “I have an idea,” they say, shifting their position to move closer to Dazai. When he opens his eyes and straightens up in the chair, he has their face in front of his own. Ranpo’s smile can’t mean anything good. “You’ll love it.”
dazai and ranpo get bored. they decide to make it everyone's problem.
8,909 words, 1/1.
(or: souheki being little assholes for almost 9k straight)
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osachiyo · 7 months
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Brat tamer!chuuya who sends you a nasty glare when your hand rides up his thigh during an important meeting. You could feel his half-hard cock when you palmed him through his slacks, his hand wrapping around your wrist tightly, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" He'd whisper, voice slightly wavering as he could feel his precum leaking through the expensive fabric of his pants.
Brat tamer!chuuya who slams the car door shut after you get in, growling into your ear, "you're so fucked," as he hastily rips the suit-jacket and button up shirt off of you, a smirk growing on his pretty lips when he sees the pretty set of lingere you wore for him. "you were planning this, huh? planning to rile me up 'cause you're such a damn slut for my attention, sweetheart?" He groaned, leaving bite marks and hickies all over your neck and chest area, cupping your breast in his gloved hand.
Brat tamer!chuuya who slides his gloves off his hands with his teeth just because it gets you all hot and bothered, he knows the effect he has on you and uses it to his advantage. He ordered you to take off your the rest of your clothing but you figured why not be more of a pain in the ass for him? This was so fucking hot to you already, you couldn't help but annoy him further. You stuck your tongue out at him, cockily demanding that he took them off himself, since he's the one desperate to fuck you. And oh he's fucking livid, manhandling you against the car door, your ass sticking out on full display for him as he bunched your skirt up to your waist, ripping a hole through your stockings and pushing your lacy panties to the side. He scoffed at how wet you were already, "I barely even touched you and your already leaking? Hah− un fucking believable."
Brat tamer!chuuya would shove his fingers in and out of your hole so vigorously, curling his digits against your mushy walls, teething at your ear lobe as his other hand wraps around your throat, cutting off your airways for a brief moment before repeating the action. He pulls out his fingers just as you were about to reach your peak, sniffling and whimpering at him.
Brat tamer!chuuya who would give your ass a nice smack before pushing his thick cock into you, splitting you open. All you could do was moan as your cheek was smushed against the window, clenching on his cock for dear life as he fucks into you ruthlessly. You completely forgot that the driver was still in the car, the tip of your boyfriend's cock repeatedly kissing your cervix made you go dumb.
Brat tamer!chuuya who would only pull your panties back in place, his cum still leaking out in thick globs out of your hot cunt, "god, just look at you− such a mess for my cock, hm? just wait 'til we get home, brat."
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©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated♡
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puppy love (iii)
Chuuya Nakahara x Reader
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fandom: bungo stray dogs
I didn't mean for this to be so long. I'm so sorry. I just really like writing about Chuuya interacting with dogs. Again I apologize (but I hope you enjoy)! (And the panel comes from the manga Kimi ni Todoke!)
warnings: fem reader, pet names (doll, lady, etc.), mentions of pet abandonment in the past, mentions of stray dogs, slight angst towards the end, a bit of mutual pining (but they don't know it yet bc they're kinda dumb) || words: 5.5k
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV
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Chuuya has never known himself to be nervous.
Wary? Sure. Itching to get something over with? Absolutely. Pissed off beyond all belief? Of fucking course—he’s put up with Dazai for all these years, hasn’t he?
But he’s never felt quite like this. Standing in front of the shabby little shop you call home, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, fingers twitching in his pockets—not to mention the swarm of butterflies that’s taken refuge in the depths of his stomach. His throat is unnaturally dry, beads of sweat gathering at his forehead.
Why the fuck is he so damn nervous?
He has no reason to be. He knows no danger lies beyond that door, none whatsoever. And even if there was a fight waiting for him, he’d come out on top in two seconds flat.
Nothing to worry about. It’s just you and those dogs you keep yammering on about.
(Maybe that’s why he’s so worried.)
He shakes his head and knocks on the door. You’ve already turned the lights down, placed the closed sign right there in the window, and yet he can hear you scurrying on the other side of the door. A few seconds later it swings open, and the sight of your smile immediately puts him at ease.
“I’m so glad you could make it!”
He steps inside as you shut the door behind him. One of the lights flicker on, bathing the room in a warm golden glow.
This is the first time he’s actually seen your shop, and he’s pleased to find it looks much more comfy than the outside. A bit small in size, but the selection of pet supplies is plenty enough to brag about. Different brands of dog and cat food, assortments of leashes and collars in all kinds of colors, rows of dog toys and treats lining the counters. The floors are clean, the blinds are shut, and everything seems to be in order.
But not a single pup in sight.
“You want anything to drink?” You’re already motioning him to follow you behind the counter, towards the back of the store. “It’s alright, I’m the only one here. I won’t tell anyone,” you add with a wink.
Fuck, more annoying butterflies.
“That’s fine, I’m alright.” He sheds his overcoat and hangs it on one of the hooks by the door, but leaves the hat perched on his head. Luckily you don’t question it.
“They’re in the back, follow me.”
There’s a spring in your step as you lead him through the back hall, through a set of double doors and into what looks like a lounge of some kind. A slightly-worn couch rests by the corner, as well as a table with only a couple chairs to keep it company. But he doesn’t have time to survey the whole room before you disappear through another door, and he picks up the pace just to keep up with you.
Finally you come to a stop, resting a hand on the doorknob and throwing him a smile over your shoulder.
“They’re inside. You ready?”
He swallows the collection of cobwebs in his mouth. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
But you don’t open the door. Don’t even move an inch. You just stare at him with those big eyes, those pretty eyes, as your lips shift into a frown.
“…What?” Did he do something wrong? Did he fuck this up already?
“You don’t have to be nervous, you know.”
“I’m not nervous,” he says a little too quickly, and he bites back a groan when you give him a knowing smile.
“It’s alright, they can be a lot to handle sometimes. But they’ll love you, I promise! Besides, you’ve met three of them already. The other five are gonna be all over you when they see you!”
Two, he corrects you internally. He’s met two of them so far, the third one keeps his distance and fucking glares at him. Hardly a win in his book. Are any of the others like that? Or is it just that one who’s got a stick up his ass?
No, don’t be like that. It’s not the dog’s fault it doesn’t like people; hell, Chuuya himself doesn’t even like people all that much. The nerves are just making him feel on edge.
Fuck it, he’s not nervous!
“They won’t bite,” you add with a laugh, but he still remains locked in his spot behind you. So you hold out a hand and tilt your head, reminding him of the night he first met you. So much like that one dog you have, the shiba pup. “They love meeting new people. And if Kotaro already loves you”—oh yeah, that’s the shiba’s name—“then the others are sure to follow his lead.”
The way you’re looking at him, a gentle look in your eyes, hand outstretched hopefully in his direction…
It’s no big deal. It’s just a bunch of dogs. He loves dogs, right? Never met a dog he didn’t like! They just happen to belong to you, and you’ve…just got a lot of them. Nothing too major, he’s dealt with much worse in his life.
But that’s just it. They’re your dogs, not just stray animals he crosses paths with on the street. They mean the absolute world to you, he knows it in the way you talk about them. You show it in the way you clutch Kotaro to your chest, pressing kiss after kiss to his furry head. The way your eyes light up at even the slightest mention of one of your dogs, how you’re so eager to brag about the new trick they learned or what they did at the park earlier that day.
You love them with everything your heart has to offer…and Chuuya just hopes he’s good enough to give them the attention and adoration they deserve.
A heavy sigh passes through his lips; slowly but surely, he places his gloved hand in yours. “No biting?” he asks with a smile.
“No biting, I promise! Told them to be on their best behavior today, too.”
It’s only when he nods that you turn the knob and push the door open. You all but pull him in after you, all smiles and laughter and—
Holy shit, that’s a lot of fucking dogs!
All different breeds rush him at once, Kotaro taking the lead and nearly barreling right into Chuuya’s knee. The beagle follows soon after, accompanied by a corgi. (At least he thinks it’s a corgi.) Two little Chihuahuas are yipping and running circles around his ankles. A dachshund paws at the tip of his shoe before latching her teeth around it.
“Hey, hey, come on! Be nice!”
You clap your hands and wave your arms to shoo them away. Just like clockwork the dogs turn their attention on you, a blur of wagging tails and drool and perked-up ears. You scoop up the pair of Chihuahuas, holding one in each arm, and gently nudge the dachshund away from Chuuya with your leg.
Over your shoulder he can see the last two dogs: the grumpy bulldog he met a few days ago (the one who looks like he hates his guts), and a schnauzer whose tail hasn’t stopped wagging since he walked in the room. There’s a slight limp in the schnauzer’s step; it’s favoring its front left paw, but he can’t see any visible wound on the skin. Placing the twin Chihuahuas down, you give the schnauzer a scratch under its bearded chin before pressing a kiss to its head.
“Sit!”
About half the dogs listen, Kotaro not being one of them. He’s still busy sniffing the area around Chuuya, rubbing against his leg like a cat. You snap your fingers over and over, huffing when the dog blatantly ignores you. Finally you stand up and scoop him up in your arms, placing him down in between the dachshund and the beagle.
“You alright?” Your smile is a bit wobbly. Are you just as nervous as he is?
For some reason the thought quells the storm of butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
“I’m fine, doll. Nothin’ I can’t handle,” he adds with a smirk, and you quickly avert your eyes back down to the dogs.
You sink down to sit on the floor, patting the space beside you. Unfortunately Kotaro takes that as his cue to move—even before Chuuya can settle himself down, he’s wrestling a rowdy shiba pup off his lap.
But when one dog goes, the rest of the pack is sure to follow. And suddenly the two of you are swamped in furry bodies and swishing tails and scrabbling paws. One puppy on your lap, another in your arms, and one nosing at your pocket in hopes of finding a snack or two.
“This one’s Sora,” you say, holding the corgi up to him. Chuuya can’t even speak, too captivated by the pup’s sweet brown eyes. “He’s a cutie, isn’t he? And he’s—oh, hey! I would never forget about you, Ocha, don’t worry!” You reach over to pat the dachshund right between her ears. “This little girl is Ocha. She can get a bit jealous but she’s an absolute sweetheart! Oh! And these two are Yuki and Yui! They’re…the troublemakers of the pack!”
Are those the Chihuahuas? One of them is chomping on your shoelaces, while the other one is pawing at his pant leg. The corgi in his arms lets out a soft whine; immediately he brings it closer, letting it sniff his hand and lick his face.
“This is Haru,” you continue, motioning to the schnauzer. “She’s the newest one here. She’s not scared of humans though, so you can pet her all you like! Just let her approach you first. Oh, and be mindful of her paw, she’s recovering from a broken leg. Poor thing could barely walk when we found her! But she’s healing up so nicely…aren’t you, pretty girl?”
The dog lets out a whine, but it almost sounds happy. Her ears are pressed against her head and her stubby tail’s wagging a mile a minute.
Reaching around the corgi’s head—is it Sora? Sounds about right—he holds out a hand to the schnauzer. The dog, Haru, gives a cautious sniff, balances herself on her good paw, and takes another step closer. You’re practically bouncing in your seat as Haru wags her tail and lets Chuuya pet her.
“Aww, she likes you!”
And thank fuck for that; there’s nothing more depressing than a dog that doesn’t like you.
Like that one—he gives the bulldog a sideways glance, and the dog huffs and turns his head.
The beagle nearly trips over his own paws trying to reach Chuuya’s face. The tiny Chihuahua chewing on your shoelaces manages to untie them, and you scramble to grab the string from its mouth with a shriek.
Kotaro, Pochi, Sora… Haru, right?
Something nudges his elbow. It’s the little dachshund, staring up at him with big brown eyes, clutching a small stuffed toy in her mouth. She nudges him again, giving a whine and shaking her whole backside in the air.
“What is it, huh?” Fuck, what’s that one’s name again? “You wanna play, is that it?”
The dog yips and bats him with her paw. But when he grabs at the toy, she gives a hard tug and nearly rips the damn thing right out of his grasp.
“I can’t throw it if you don’t give it to me!”
She doesn’t give up, and neither does he. You laugh at the awkward tug of war between the two, all the while Sora is curled up in Chuuya’s other arm. One of the Chihuahuas crawls into his lap, throwing off his balance just enough for the dachshund to wrench the toy out of his hand.
“Hey, wait—”
It’s a three-way assault: Kotaro plants his paws right on his shoulders, Sora leans up to lick his face, and the dachshund—Ocha, that’s it!—practically throws herself right into his lap, all but knocking the poor Chihuahua out of the way. The poor pup tumbles to the floor, but you’re quick to scoop him up before he can whine.
“Sorry, Yuki,” you manage through your laughter, “Ocha didn’t mean it, I promise. …And sorry, Chuuya! Usually they’re not this rowdy!”
But he finds himself laughing along with you—of course, you apologize to the dog first—even when Kotaro’s weight knocks him over onto the floor. He’s on his back know, knees bent with the beagle ducking beneath them, and the tiny corgi curled up on his chest. Kotaro’s wet nose is pressed against his cheek, Ocha’s paw nudging his shoulder, and oh shit, now the schnauzer’s in on the fun—
“Come on, guys, let him breathe for a bit!” Your voice reaches him through the mess of fur and paws; he sees your hand snake around the dachshund’s body to pull her away. “No doggy pile today!”
Not that he has a problem with that. If this is what you have to deal with every day, living with all these dogs doesn’t seem like such a bad thing.
“Get over here, you little—”
He rolls over, propping himself on his hands and knees, still supporting the corgi against his chest. Kotaro barks and shakes his bottom in the air; the silly look on his face just screams “play with me, damn it!”
Pochi plants his paws onto his shoulders, while Ocha ambushes him from the front. Despite favoring her paw, Haru is quick to chime in with a yip and plants a sweet kiss right on Chuuya’s cheek.
The smug look on Kotaro’s face says it all: You’re surrounded. Give up already, feeble human!
“Alright, alright, that’s enough!”
You’re on your feet now, shooing the dogs away, cringing at the rumpled fabric of Chuuya’s pristine jacket and vest. The flecks of dog hair sprinkled along his dress pants. Not to mention the trails of drool and doggy slobber on his face—
“Come on, be nice.” You slide Pochi out of the way and gently pick up Haru in your arms. Chuuya catches the bulldog glaring at him from across the room; the little shit hasn’t even moved in the last ten minutes or so. “Give him some space, Kotaro!”
Chuuya manages to lift himself to his knees. The little corgi in his arms lifts his head and kisses his chin, his stubby little tail thumping against his hand. A laugh bubbles up in his throat.
“Lovable little shit, ain’t he?”
“Yeah, Sora’s a cuddle bug when he wants to be!” Once the dogs give you some space, you hold out a hand to help him up. “He’s also a sleepy little guy. Gets random bursts of energy but he’s always the first to fall asleep.”
His gloved hand slides against your own, and you pull him to his feet with a grunt. Immediately Haru and Ocha start whining and pawing at his pant leg. Batting their eyes at Sora, all snuggled up against the man’s chest.
“Are they usually just clingy, or is it just me?” he asks with a smile, and you giggle behind your hands.
“Must be you! They’re friendly, but never that friendly to people they’ve just met… They must really like you a lot.”
(Maybe it’s his roguish charm and handsome features. If so, you can’t really blame them.)
“Anyway, looks like they’ve settled down a bit.” He glances at the two pups nestled in your arms; the twin Chihuahuas are already fast asleep, snoring softly with their heads against your chest. “Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the shop.”
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The “rest of the shop” isn’t really part of the shop at all; Chuuya learns quickly that it’s just the half-finished room where the dogs live, with the stairs leading up to your apartment just off to the side. He stops himself before he can wonder what’s up there, though.
Not the kind of thoughts he should be having about someone he’s only just yet. And about a lady, no less.
And now the dogs are safe and sound, sprawled out in their individual beds and tucked away for the night. The Chihuahuas sleep in a tiny bed between a mess of blankets, with a dozing Pochi and Ocha on either side of them. Sora is curled up into Haru’s side; when his paw twitches gently, Chuuya thinks he can feel his chest get all warm and fuzzy.
So fucking adorable, aren’t they?
The only ones still awake are Kotaro (who’s made his home at his feet, for some unknown reason), and Shiro, who’s planted his ass firmly on your shoes. Still glaring at him with his bottom teeth jutting out, only wagging his tail when you reach down to pet him.
The two of you are leaning against the counter, side by side, holding a pair of mugs in your hands. Might be too late in the night for it, but holy shit do you make a great cup of coffee.
“I’m glad you think so,” you chuckle, careful to keep your voice low. Don’t wanna wake the babies, right? “I don’t really like it, I kinda have to drink it for these little guys, though. Keeps me going the entire day!”
He looks at you then, really looks at you as you take another sip of your drink. Your frazzled hair, the bags under your eyes, the slight heave in your chest—and the familiar warm glow in your eyes as they sweep over the eight resting dogs.
Running a shop, catering to customers, taking care of eight individual dogs, all with different personalities and needs of their own… No wonder you look so drained. You look like you could sleep for a week straight, and then some with that look in your eye.
He clears his throat and averts his gaze before you can catch him. “You said she’s the newest one, right?” He motions to Haru with a hand, snickering as she snuggles deeper into her little makeshift bed. “How long have you had her?”
“Only a couple weeks.” You place your mug down and sweep a hand through your hair. “We found her wandering around the streets one night—well, Kotaro found her, really. Poor girl was digging through the trash and limping so badly! We took her to the vet right away, fixed up her leg so she could walk again. She had a collar but when we tried calling the owners there was no answer.”
Your hands suddenly curl around the edge of the counter. Nails biting into the surface, teeth clenched and eyes wild with fire. Chuuya stops himself from reaching out to you, instead tightening his grip on his mug and taking another sip.
“They wouldn’t answer our calls, and when the vet stopped by their place he realized they’d moved… Didn’t even have the sense to bring her to a shelter first. Just up and left her, like she didn’t even matter.”
Such a sweet dog, so kind and gentle, with her favored paw resting so nicely on the blankets… Little puffs of air escaping through her nose, brushing against the corgi’s fluffy head.
And suddenly he wants to shatter the mug in his hand. The thought of leaving a mess on your floor is enough to keep him at bay, but the white-hot fury is still blazing through his veins.
How could someone treat such an innocent animal like that?
He wouldn’t have guessed it, with how friendly she had been with him earlier. Eager to play and get to know him, licking at his face and wagging her cute little tail. And extremely loyal from what he’s seen so far, with the way she looks at you and responds to your voice. What kind of dumbass would let go of such a perfect companion?
“…Are they all street dogs?” His voice is strained, but his eyes are gentle when they meet your own. “Abandoned, I mean?”
“No, not all of them. This one,” you lean down to rub Shiro’s chest, “I knew his old owner. He was moving away and he couldn’t take Shiro with him. He used to work at the shop, that’s why he asked me. Sometimes I think he still misses him.”
That explains why the dog’s such a hard-ass. But he can’t find it in himself to blame him. Chuuya knows a thing or two about losing people he cares about.
“Pochi and Sora were hanging around the shop before I took them in. At first I thought they were cats, but then I heard barking one night and knew I had to bring them in.” That familiar smile is back on your face as you gush about your puppies. “Ocha? I found her while coming home from a friend’s house, in a thunderstorm of all things! Now she doesn’t like storms, but show me a dog that does!”
You slide your mug further away before lifting yourself onto the edge. Only when you pat the space beside you does Chuuya do the same, careful not to spill what little coffee he has left in his own mug.
“The twins, Yuki and Yui,” you point to the tiny Chihuahuas in the center, “…I don’t know where they came from, honestly. I just opened the door one day and they were there. Right on the doorstep, practically newborn, no note or anything. I don’t even know what happened to their mother.”
Shiro yawns and settles down at the base of the counter, his legs sprawled out in front of him. Meanwhile Kotaro turns his attention to Chuuya, whining until the man caves in and scratches behind his ear.
“What about this one?”
“Oh, Kotaro? Former shelter dog, the last one to be adopted before they closed down! No one else wanted to deal with his little troublesome ass, so I volunteered.”
And the smug little shit looks so proud of himself, too. Tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, tail swishing from side to side, stirring up the mess of dog hair already on the floor.
A comfortable silence settles over the two of you. The dogs are sleeping, Kotaro’s relishing in all the extra attention, and for once, the bulldog Shiro isn’t even growling at him. Eventually he finishes off his coffee, and you’re quick to take it to rinse it in the sink with your own.
“Hey, Chuuya? Can I ask you something real quick?”
He glances up from Kotaro for a split second. It’s easier to pet him from the ground rather than the counter, so he hops off and kneels down to the dog’s level. His gloves are gonna be covered in dog fur once he’s done.
“What is it?”
Another bout of silence. Your back is turned to him, still hunched over the sink, despite the mugs already drying in the rack next to it. Kotaro paws at his knee, silently begging for another round of pats.
“…You’re part of the Port Mafia, aren’t you?”
Every nerve in his body screams at him to run. No, to fight. Fight and fucking win, just as he’s always had to do. Eliminate the threat. Prove your strength.
It’s like a switch goes off in his brain. But he’s not the only one; Shiro’s head lifts off the ground at lightning speed, his lip curled to show more than just that row of bottom teeth. Kotaro stiffens as soon as Chuuya’s hand retreats, his huge eyes boring right through him.
You’re still glued to your spot at the sink, not even daring to move an inch.
The message is clear from the dogs. Touch her and you die.
He swallows the mess of cobwebs in his throat as he slowly rises to his feet. Kotaro and Shiro keep their eyes trained on him; out of the corner of his eye, he can see Pochi and Ocha stirring awake, too.
Insanely loyal dogs, aren’t they?
“…It’s alright if you are,” you spit out, still staring at the sink in front of you. “I promise I won’t tell anyone! It’s just… I’ve, ah, been wondering about it…for a few days now, and I just thought…”
The sigh he lets out sends a shiver down your spine. He’s careful as he makes his way towards you, and for some reason, Shiro lets him without taking a chunk out of his leg.
“…How’d you find out?”
He’s trying not to sound intimidating. He’s not angry, far from it actually. He knows you and your little pack of pups is no real threat to the mafia. (Although, the image of you storming HQ with a band of street dogs is strangely entertaining to him.) Sooner or later, you would have questions of your own about him. He just didn’t think it would be this soon.
But that horrible feeling from earlier is fluttering around in his chest. The same one that makes his palms slick with sweat inside his gloves, the one that sends his heart smashing against his ribcage.
Is he ashamed? Absolutely not; the mafia has always been a part of him, and it always will be until the day he dies.
Maybe the thought of you running away, too scared of what he is—and taking your little pack with you—is sending him in such a frenzy.
“I’ve…had my suspicions,” you start quietly. Slowly you turn around, keeping your back against the sink. Chuuya stands a few feet away from you, forcing his hands back into his pockets. “For a couple days, now. Maybe even more… I just wanted to be sure before I started suspecting anything…”
Dangerous? He fills in the blank with a swallow.
“…’M not gonna hurt you, ya know.”
“I know! I know… Believe it or not, I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with the mafia. This isn’t exactly a nice area of Yokohama to begin with.”
That raises the hair on the back of his neck. Who did you come across? Surely someone like Akutagawa or Tachihara couldn’t be bothered with a simple pet shop owner. A simple grunt then, perhaps? He can’t imagine why they would make themselves known to an innocent civilian like you.
Did they threaten you? Were you caught in the crossfire? Thrown in the middle of a turf war? Every possibility sends another wave of heat throughout his body.
“Honestly, it wasn’t that hard to figure out.” There’s an awkward chuckle on your end. “I only ever see you at night. You’re rich as hell, I can tell by the way you carry yourself. Only one kind of job around here could get you that kind of outfit, and all those fancy wines you like to talk about. Oh, and you kinda dress like a stereotypical mafioso, too… Not that it’s a bad thing!” you add quickly, holding up your hands. “I like it! Makes you look…good, I guess? No, not just good… Maybe handsome? Ah, I-I mean—”
You stumble over your words, burying your face in your hands when none of them come out right. That’s when Kotaro trots over to you, circling your feet before taking a seat right in front of you. Shiro stays right in his spot, eyes glued on Chuuya…but at least he’s not growling at him anymore.
Chuuya blinks. And then blinks again.
…You think he’s handsome?
He clears his throat—no time to get all distracted over a few simple words from a pretty girl. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, doll. I promise, the Port Mafia wants nothing to do with your little…pack of dogs.”
But he does.
As horrible as it sounds, he wants everything to do with you and your little family of puppies.
“It’s okay.” You wrap your arms around your midsection, finally meeting his eyes with a shaky smile. “It’s just…kind of a lot to take in… Sorry…”
No, he gets it. He could barely believe it himself, after joining the mafia years ago.
“…You ain’t scared?” he asks, despite his gut telling him to shut the fuck up already.
But you shake your head, and suddenly he finds himself frowning.
“A bit too trusting, don’t ya think?”
“Maybe.” Your smile becomes a bit stronger now. “But the dogs seem to like you, so that’s enough for me.”
His jaw nearly drops to the floor; he can feel the coffee from earlier swirling around in his stomach.
Are you fucking serious?
“I know it sounds silly, but it’s true!” You must’ve seen the look on his face; you’re starting to look a bit sheepish yourself, but you continue nonetheless. “Dogs have a great sense for this kind of thing. They can tell when a person has good or bad intentions. Pick the rotten apples from the rest of the bunch, you know? And they’re all pretty easy-going around you. So if they’re not scared of you, then I’m not either.”
Well sure, it would make sense if you were a fucking child. But placing all your trust in a bunch of dogs, no matter how loyal and protective it may be… It doesn’t sit right with him.
“You can’t be serious.”
“But I am.”
“What if I hurt you?” Even saying the words out loud make him feel sick. “You really think they would’ve warned you?”
“Yeah, they started growling at you right away, didn’t they?”
“What if it was someone else? Someone other than me?”
“I trust them. I protect them, they protect me.”
“You can’t always be sure of that, doll.”
He’s stepping closer to you, and for whatever reason Kotaro and Shiro allow him to. Until he’s face to face with you, so close you can count the row of freckles splashed across his nose.
But you’re still smiling. In fact, you look more comfortable right now in front of him than you have all night. Almost like you’ve totally forgotten about the whole Port Mafia thing.
“It all comes down to intentions. Believe it or not, they’ve saved my ass a few times before. Especially Shiro; more than once he’s kept a shady person away from me, or pulled me away from a dangerous situation. It sounds weird, but I trust them with my life. Just as they trust me with theirs.”
Words fail him in that moment; he opens his mouth, and they die right there on his tongue. On one hand, what you’re saying does make sense, but it also doesn’t, and he’s not sure which one to believe.
He knew you were close to your dogs. Treated them just as you would your own children. He just didn’t realize you put such a great amount of trust in their hands—well, paws.
Despite their smaller size and friendly natures, they did jump to your defense when they suspected you might be in danger. Shiro and Kotaro standing between you two, a protective barrier of claws and teeth, with Ocha and Pochi standing on guard.
A dog’s love for his human knows no bounds.
“Trust me, if they sensed you had any bad intentions, or wanted to hurt me in any way, they wouldn’t have let you come into the shop like you did. Kotaro wouldn’t have warmed up to you right away. Believe me when I say this, Chuuya, the pups love you.”
He grits his teeth, his gaze falling to the floor between you. “…Not the bulldog.”
Your laugh is a song to his ears, and when you reach for his gloved hand, he thinks his heart might burst right there in his chest.
“Don’t worry about Shiro. He’s stingy with everyone at first! To be honest, if he really didn’t like you, he would’ve tried to bite you the first time he saw you! But as for the rest of them? I’ve never seen them warm up to a stranger like that before. Especially Kotaro—the way he acted around you that first night… It kinda made me jealous!”
You shake your head and take his other hand in yours. His face grows warm beneath your gaze, his heartbeat echoing in his ears as you inch your face closer to his.
“If my dogs trust you, then that tells me you must be a good man.”
And suddenly, Chuuya wants nothing more than to sweep you into his arms and press a thousand kisses to your lips.
“Your secret’s safe with me. If you want to come back, you’re more than welcome to! And if you want, we can just keep it between us. No outside drama, no mentions of work—just you and me and all these dogs…if that sounds good with you.”
Chuuya doesn’t think he can smile any wider. There’s another strange feeling in his chest, so much more pleasant than the one from earlier. No more shaking hands or butterflies in his stomach; only a sweet, warm feeling that pools deep in his chest.
It reminds him of your smile, of your warmth and affection for the little family you’ve made for yourself, as he tugs you in closer with Kotaro yipping happily at your heels.
“Sounds perfect to me, doll.”
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ddostoyevskyy · 9 months
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Armed Detective Agency!
↳ 𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐈𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄... ❝a person who is attracted, whether it be sexually, romantically, or otherwise, to intelligence or intelligent people rather than to the physical appearance...❞
↪feat. Nakajima Atsushi, Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Edogawa Ranpo.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒... nothing much, lmk if there’s one.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄... did this with genshin men, now with BSD characters who I think will want someone whose smart:3
MASTERLIST
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⌦ NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI
↪Let’s start with this cutie. 🤌🏻
↪Honestly, Atsushi can be both attracted to physical appearance and intelligence. Although, if you were already incredibly smart, your looks are a plus point for him.
↪Intelligence doesn’t usually required for someone to be academically smart. If you are a street smart and can process quickly in a danger or a situation you know will be dangerous for you and for Atsushi, especially when Port Mafia is after him too, you could make such great partners for each other;
↪Intelligence and Strength, I mean.
↪He’s definitely one for intelligence and an emotional and sympathetic intelligent you is definitely something what he craved for; you understand his trauma, you comfort him without making him feel uncomfortable, you can definitely know if he’s not feeling well — or he’s hesitant to reach out to you over small things he’s insecure or something too personal.
↪You understand his emotions too well. And, if you are academically smart too — he would ask you for things he can’t understand when it comes to important files for the Agency, or when you gave him an educational book; he would ask you constantly from time to time as you were glad to teach him.
⌦ DAZAI OSAMU
↪I have no words.
↪This man is manipulatively intelligent and he can predict anything beforehand and someone who can possibly match his level of cunningness and mischief can definitely make him attracted to that person. Dazai can also be portrayed as a street smart man as how fast his capable of thinking and calculating, when things get out of hand; he always have different plan options.
↪If you definitely know how psychology works, and tries to use this to this man, he’ll go insane for that. Imagine him putting you in a sudden risky situation where he’s pushing you to death (but he also has a plan to prevent that), and you oppose his plans of using you in a bait — he was caught off guard by how fast your thoughts process and he’s ended up speechless after that.
↪Since, you love reading books — especially academical books; and if you are an anatomy, physics and psychological books, he’s definitely interested with that habit of yours. You can definitely read his tactics and how his mind works and having a someone with a brilliant mind made him want to take you here and there.
↪He’s actually reluctant if you were just really smart to figure everything on his mind or you are just straight up manipulator and mind reader (who knows).
⌦ KUNIKIDA DOPPO
↪This man right here, is undoubtedly attracted to intelligence.
↪Maybe, he had it written on his notebook too.
↪Just like Atsushi, I think him liking someone whose smart and can act quickly to get out of dangerous situations is really attractive for him. Especially when you don’t have any notebook or some sort of schedules on hand to do; you were just mentally organized, you can do things accordingly without any disturbance on your end (mainly Dazai).
↪Though, it was deduct minus point if you’re politically smart or someone whose really good at trades and negotiates — unless you will use that knowledge on behalf of everyone’s sake, maybe he’ll consider the fact that you’re smarter to that field he hates the most.
⌦ RANPO EDOGAWA
↪No words needed. This man DESPISES anything common sense and dumb thinking, let’s face it.
↪He always took pride of his knowledge and deductions and the meaning of obvious to him is solvingmurdercrimeswithjuststaringatthecorpsebodyorwhatsoevershitthatevengraduatedpeoplecan’tfigureoutwithonelook type of intelligence.
↪He’s been able to see through anyone and everything that existing in the world despite with his eyes closed. So, a partner whose par with his knowledge in crimes and deduction will surely crumbles his confidence a little.
↪Though, it doesn’t really matter — he’ll definitely be the type to be attracted to someone with intelligence or academically smart; those who love solving math problems (like how he solve crimes) or anything that includes solving and deducting.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
All Rights Reserved 2023 © ddostoyevskyy. Do not repost without permission or plagiarized.
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noose-lion · 9 months
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I have written over 7,000 words on the first chapter of an multi-chapter underground cage fighting soukoku fic.
I wasn't going to say anything till the first chapter was posted but it is taking longer than expected to finish and I'm in need of gratification.
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thepartyishere · 4 months
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alwaysthefool · 11 months
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beautiful monster (chuuya x you)
warning; cheating, major angst, toxicity, abuse, suicide mention
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It was a moment of weakness under influence. He never wanted you to find out, he loved you so much, it was beyond him to even do something like that. But in that moment, in that club alone, with the overwhelming feeling of the physical world fading and the thing inside his mind speaking, he needed just any human's touch. Just where did his friends go off to? They should've stopped him.  
He woke up with a stranger next to him, and the sound of you packing your bags.
"[Name]?" He took in the situation, still a little groggy from the hangover. "You're back from your trip."
Through your tear stained and red face, you laughed. That was possibly the worst thing he could've said. "Yeah, I wanted to surprise you." You didn't even want to look at him, grateful most of your stuff was packed already, shoving in the important things you had left in his penthouse in your bag. "Turns out, you gave me a surprise too."
He finally returned to his senses, shoving the stranger off his body, yelling at them to leave. "Psycho." They murmured, gathering their clothes and walking out. He put on his boxers, and ran straight to you, holding your bags. "You're not leaving, let me explain." His voice was shaky too, his skin red from the plethora of feelings inside him. He wanted to scream, he wanted to get angry, he wanted to cry, and he wanted to comfort you. You didn't deserve that.
"Get off of me." You told him calmly, still not looking at him. He was never one to go against your wishes or handle you roughly, but he couldn't let you go. You were the only one for him in the world and if you left, it would be shattered. So he held on to your hands tighter, holding you by his wrist as if you were some mafioso that needed a lesson, the other one pushing your hair off your face, holding you so you faced him. "Please, listen to me."
"Don't." You warned, trying to squirm your hands free. It was so useless. Even without his ability, you couldn't do anything against him. All you could do was scream at him, and so you did. "Get the fuck off of me!" You started crying again, after working so hard to keep it in, you couldn't anymore. You couldn't even stand, and you found it hard to breathe. Chuuya moved to hold you tight against him, sitting on the floor with you, the same floor you used to prance around in, trying to distract him as he went over some mission reports from work.
You never once did anything wrong. Nothing at all to deserve it.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He held your head tightly, stroking your hair as you repeatedly flung your fragile fists on his chest. He just wanted you to calm down, but despite his almost choke-hold, you were beyond consolation, screaming and crying.
"How could you?" You cried, hysterical and still struggling to breathe from just how much you were crying. "I did everything for you, I gave you everything!"
Your words were starting to get twisted, and Chuuya knew you'd pass out if you didn't calm down. He had seen his men break the same way. What you needed was someone you trusted to hold you, and it killed him to know it wasn't him anymore. He was hurting the same way, but all those years taught him to keep himself calm in situations like these. And rationally, he couldn't let you leave. He knew you wouldn't come back if you did. 
He let go of you, and you stepped away, leaning against the wall to cry. "You took everything from me, Chuuya." The pain was too much for you to bear. Your mind was in a thousand different places, your head blaring from pain. You still managed to use your energy into speaking. "I gave you my virginity, I lied to my parents for you, I gave up everything to live in this city with you. I cut off friends, I lost everyone."
Chuuya's mind raced to how Dazai had treated the people he dated. They got out of relationships with him in the exact same situation you had.
"What the fuck?" Your voice was raised again. "How the fuck did I mean so little to you?"
"LISTEN TO ME!" He yelled back at you, and you sobbed at the way he spoke to you. "I love you more than myself, more than anything else. I made a fucking mistake, [Name]. I was drunk and alone, I didn't realise-"
"You were drunk." You laughed, your voice already hoarse from all the screaming. "What kind of excuse is that? What kind of excuse for being a piece of shit-"
"Watch yourself." His selfish instincts kicked in, never thinking he'd use that tone with you. You, his most precious one, having to hear the words he saved for criminals and enemies "I'm not going to listen to you scream whatever you want."
Your sobs had calmed down, as if expecting this. "I'm leaving."
"You're not doing that either." He took a deep breath, pulling your bags away from you, getting up and putting on a shirt and his sweats. "I'll die before I let you go."
"I want to die." You held your knees, no longer crying, eyes droopy from the exhaustion. He truly had taken everything from you, changing your life and then betraying you. But whatever happened, you could never bring yourself to forgive him, you'd never live with someone who disrespected you that way. You had scolded him so many times about alcohol, about clubbing, about his friends that did not seem to like you, considering you weren't from the mafia.
"What did you say?" Your words seemed to set loose Chuuya's fury. You wish you'd die? You of all people saying that, no, you couldn't. You weren't allowed to. You were the only person in the world who shouldn't have said those words. You didn't deserve to.
"They were beautiful, by the way." You met his blazing eyes with your own puffed one, a look that immediately made Chuuya want to console you. "When you held me, I could smell them on you."
Shit.
"I think I wasn't good enough. You should be with someone that beautiful, someone your friends could also grow to like, someone who also likes wine."
"No." Tears fell out of his eyes as he tried to hold you again, but you shielded yourself, leaving him to just claw at your arms. "No, there's no one else for me but you. You're more than perfect."
"Chuuya." You cried again, amazed at how many tears you had. "I've never been this hurt before in my life."
"I'm sorry, I'll never-"
"Let me go, right now." You pleaded. You had enough of his convincing. You made up your mind. He should have known that. But Chuuya was equally stubborn. He shook his head through his tears, hugging your knees.
"If you don't, I'll hurt myself." He didn't know where you got the knife from as you pointed it to your neck, probably from his drawer when he took his eyes off you to put on his clothes. Shocked at the sight, he tried to yank it off you, but you held it so close to your neck, it produced drops of blood. "I'll kill myself. Right now, there's nothing I want more. So let me go."
Baby, that will leave a scar.
Nothing scared him more than the thought of something happening to you, so he stepped away. "Please give me another chance."
What a beautiful notion. 'Another chance'. But you could never. You stood up on trembling knees and picked up your bags with bruised hands. You didn't know anyone in the city that wasn't one of Chuuya's friends, so you'd have to take yourself to the airport.
"At least let me take care of you." He tried to support you, to hold your bags, but you pushed him off again. That was the end of the relationship that took everything out of you. You were determined you never wanted to see him again, and you wouldn't.
"I'll find my own way."
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pssssst, how would you like part 2 to be? shall i sprinkle in dazai?
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