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lilacmingi · 4 months

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ALICE IN WONDERLAND AU ♤ PART 1: JUNGKOOK

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT read/interact with me or my works

Pairing: White rabbit!Jungkook x fem reader

Word count: 2,270

Note: Next installment in the BTS Alice in Wonderland AU series is here! The intro chapter did fairly well last week. I was surprised to see how many people were liking it!

Once past the doorway, you made your brief descent down the stone steps and onto the walkway that led through the cluster of odd plants. This place was strange, unusual, and nothing like anything you had ever seen in your entire life. All the mushrooms and plants were huge compared to you, making you feel a little nervous due to their intimidating size. You flinched when a huge bug of some sort zoomed past you, a loud buzzing sound following as it flew by. Glancing up, you saw a dragon with a set of thin, iridescent wings.

Dragonfly. Clever.

You proceeded down the path, your curious eyes scanning your new and unfamiliar surroundings. Suddenly, you remembered the chunk of cake you brought with you, pulling it from your pocket. Having learned your lesson the first time, you only took a small chunk from the cake, hoping it would be enough to return you to your normal height. Taking a small bite of the magical sweet, you started to grow taller until you were back to your usual self.

You chuckled proudly to yourself, feeling a sense of pride for getting the hang of the size-altering cake.

With your height back to the way it should be, you proceeded down the stone pathway, getting a closer look at the greenery and vegetation that grew along the trail. You hadn't the slightest idea where you were, but one thing was for sure, this was not your home. You were in an entirely new world. A fairytale land of some sort that looked like it came right out of a storybook.

Maybe when you fell down the rabbit hole, you hit your head and were knocked unconscious and this was a dream. Though that wouldn't explain the fact that you saw a half bunny half man in your backyard.

Your train of thought was derailed when you spotted the suit-clad bunny hybrid you chased earlier standing in the middle of the pathway with his back turned to you. Not wanting to announce your presence and risk him taking off again, you stayed silent and approached him, clamping a hand on his shoulder causing him to flinch, spinning around on his heel to face whoever had grabbed him.

"You! How did you get down here?"

"I followed you. How else do you think I got here?"

He chewed on his bottom lip while his captivating eyes scanned you up and down as if to asses your appearance.

"Good." He finally responded, giving a single nod of approval.

"Good?" You echoed.

"There are some people who want to see you. They haven't seen you in years and they've all been eagerly awaiting your return."

"What? Who's they? Listen, bunny boy, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"He'll explain when you get—wait. What did you just call me?"

"You never told me your name, so I got creative." You shrugged.

"My name is Jungkook." He huffed, one of his his bunny ears twitching a little in agitation.

You chuckled softly.

"What's so funny?"

"Your ears." You pointed. "They're very expressive."

"Of course they are." He straightened his coat.

"Can I touch them?" You asked tentatively.

The tips of Jungkook's human ears turned pink, as did the apples of his round cheeks.

"I suppose." He lowered his head ever so slightly so his bunny ears would be easier to access.

You stepped forward and reached your hand up to stroke one of them, feeling the soft fur under your fingertips, taking notice of the way he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Soft." You murmured, pulling your hand back.

Jungkook cleared his throat, taking a brief glance up the trail.

"We should go."

"Right. Lead the way."

If this really was a dream, you might as well see how it plays out.

The low heels of Jungkook's loafers tapped lightly against the stones of the walkway, the rhythmic beat accompanied by the occasional crunch of a small gravel under his shoe soles.

"What is this place?" You inquired, breaking the silence that hung in the air.

"If I recall correctly, last time you were here you called it Wonderland."

"Last time I was here?"

"You really don't remember, do you?"

You hesitated with your response, flicking through past memories, none of them having been made in a place like this.

"No. Should I?"

"You should. Then again, you were very young. Don't worry. He'll explain it to you."

"Who's he?"

"You'll see. Just wait until we get there."

Wonderland. You thought.

That's a good way to describe this place, especially considering it's eccentric and fairytale-like appearance.

You stole a glance at Jungkook just as his nose twitched, scrunching up a little which made him look akin to a real bunny. It was an endearing sight and made a warm feeling of adoration spread in your chest. Looking at Jungkook gave you the same emotions as looking at a cute animal, except he was more man than animal.

"I overheard you talking to yourself earlier. What were you so late for?" You questioned.

"Bringing you here."

"Is that why you were in my rose garden? You were looking for me?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I was watching you and hoped that I could coax you down the rabbit hole. He asked that I bring you here. Though, I wasn't sure if it was you or not. You've changed quite a bit. That's why I was a little freaked out. You see, I'm not exactly supposed to be seen while I'm out there."

"Out there?"

"In your world." He clarified.

You cast your eyes to the ground, dragging your shoes against the stones.

"What's so important about me?"

"I'm not sure I can reveal that. Again, he'll tell you everything. I promise."

"Right." You sighed. "Who is this guy that you're bringing me to?"

"It's best he introduce himself."

"Is there anything I can call him by?"

"Hatter. That's what we call him sometimes. It's somewhat of a nickname."

"Hatter." You murmured thoughtfully. "That sounds vaguely familiar."

"Maybe you're remembering." Jungkook beamed, showing off cute bunny-like teeth, his eyes glimmering with hope.

"You're adorable." You spoke under your breath, not intending for him to hear. It was more so you gushing quietly over his endearing expression.

He turned to you, his eyes scanning you up and down as a small smirk played at his lips.

It was then that you realized he heard you.

You were quick to look away and focus your gaze to the trail below your shoes in an attempt to avoid eye contact with him.

Jungkook came to a stop, placing his finger under your chin to turn your head back towards him. His bright eyes seemed slightly darker, some unknown emotion swirling in them as he took just a moment to scan your face, quietly taking in your reaction.

"That's funny. I was thinking the same about you, dear Y/n."

You swallowed, a violent rush of warmth blossoming across your cheeks at his bold and flirtatious response.

He tittered amusedly, gently holding your chin between his thumb and index finger so you couldn't look away.

"Surely you're not flustered just from that."

You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out, as Jungkook's charms rendered you totally speechless.

This is definitely a dream. You thought to yourself. Why else would someone as handsome as Jungkook be flirting with you? This kind of thing never happens in real life.

You were too occupied with your thoughts to notice Jungkook's face inching closer, your wide eyes immediately darting down to catch a glimpse of his pretty pink lips, momentarily wondering if they were as soft as they appeared. They were so tantalizing, tempting you to come and have a taste, drawing you in and pulling you towards them. Somewhere in your muddled mind, your conscience reminded you that this man was practically a stranger, though there was something familiar about him, albeit vague. Then again, if this really was a dream (and you're sure it is) it doesn't matter if you don't know Jungkook all that well. In dreams, logic doesn't matter.

You made no efforts to stop the man standing in front of you, staying completely still while you allowed him to come to you, his shallow breaths fanning against your cheeks. Prepared for his lips to touch yours, you were surprised when you felt them on your neck instead, the warm sensation that followed making your knees weak. Your eyelids fluttered closed while Jungkook littered your neck with open-mouthed kisses that took your breath away. One of your hands came up to his dark hair, momentarily carding your fingers through it before they trailed up to brush against the base of his soft bunny ears. Jungkook sighed against the sensitive skin of your neck, his kisses growing more feverish.

After a few more blissful moments, he pulled away, bringing his face up to meet yours, his short, breathy huffs fanning your cheeks as his eyes were trained on your lips. You suppressed a shiver, your eyelids starting to flutter closed as he drew near. Jungkook's lips barely brushed over yours, making your heart rate pick up with excitement for the events that were soon to take place.

Just before he could press his lips to yours, a loud roar ripped through the air and rumbled the ground beneath your feet, causing the both of you to pull away from each other with startled expressions.

"Bandersnatch." Jungkook gasped.

"Bander-what?"

"Come over here." He hastily pulled you into the tall plants that lined the cobblestone path.

You stumbled unsteadily due to his sudden movements, causing you to fall on top of him with a soft grunt.

Both of you were breathing heavily due to the adrenaline, staring into each other's eyes for what felt like minutes but in reality was only a handful of seconds. Your gaze darted down to his lips that you didn't even get to kiss due to the interruption, which was typical for a dream, except instead of waking up, the dream continued.

A loud thump pulled your attention away from Jungkook and towards the noise as you tried to catch a glimpse of the creature through the towering mushrooms and wispy grass.

"What is that?" You whispered, unable to see through the plants that shielded you.

"The bandersnatch."

"What exactly is a bandersnatch?"

"That." Jungkook said pointing at a massive beast that was making its way down the path you were walking on just moments ago.

The appearance of the creature was unlike anything you'd ever seen before. It was covered in white fur with black spots and had the most atrocious face you'd ever laid eyes on. The beast vaguely resembling a dog, except this thing was far from cuddly and was every bit terrifying. Drool dribbled out of its large mouth which was lined with dozens of unevenly sharp teeth that made you uneasy just by looking at them. You released an unintentional gasp at the daunting appearance of the enormous creature, clamping a hand over your mouth as you watched it sniff the air.

"Shh." Jungkook shushed, wrapping his arms around you in order to draw you in closer. His job was to bring you to Hatter safely and that's exactly what he was going to do.

With bated breath, your eyes followed the monster, observing it as it passed your hiding place and sniffed elsewhere, thankfully not catching the scent of you or Jungkook. The both of you let out a collective sigh of relief, your bodies relaxing. That's when the beast stopped, it's head turning back towards the place where you were hidden.

Your body stiffened and your breathing came to a halt, watching anxiously as the beast's nose twitched while sniffing the air. After what felt like ages, the beast turned away and left, allowing you to finally relax.

"The Red King probably sent that thing to come and get you." Jungkook snarled.

His nose was scrunched up while he glared at the creature that was now leaving the area, his arms tightening around you protectively. The first thought that crossed your mind was how surprisingly strong his grip was.

He must be hiding some massive biceps under that tailcoat of his. You surmised.

"I think it's safe. Let's go." Jungkook whispered, helping you to your feet.

He took your hand and crept through the overgrown plants, moving away from the dreaded bandersnatch.

Once he felt it was safe, he guided you back to the pathway where you could actually see where you were going.

"That thing was scary... and ugly." Your face twisted at the memory.

"Dangerous too. We're lucky to have made it out unharmed. I thought for sure it would sniff us out."

"I did too."

You placed your hand on your chest to try and calm the erratic beating of your heart. For a dream, this sure felt real.

There was a rustling sound in the plants that put a halt on your train of thought and caused you and Jungkook to stop in your tracks.

"What's that?" The question slipped out before you could stop it and you found yourself latching onto Jungkook who was the only person there that could possibly protect you from whatever was hidden in the plants.

"I don't know." He murmured, holding a protective arm out in front of you.

The both of you stood in the middle of the pathway frozen in fear until someone stepped out of the thick grass.

➯ Part 2: Jimin

Masterlist ᝰ

Do not steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way

Tag list: @h3arteyes4mingi @weird-bookworm @poppy2007 @parkjennykim @evidive @mxlly143

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook imagine #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts alice in wonderland au #bts au fic #bts au fanfic

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lovelyspring7 · 2 years

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Moonstruck | Yandere KNJ x Reader

Preview: Namjoon had this all planned out. Your father was a smart man, but unfortunately, even smart people make stupid decisions. He had abandoned you like a coward, saving his ass like the selfish man he was, thinking that leaving you would be the safest option for the both of you.

If you truly didn’t know where your father was, then maybe he should know where you were. After all, it would be rude to not attend his daughter’s and future son-in-law’s wedding.

Genre: Yandere, Mafia au

Word count: 7,7k

Pairing: Yandere Mafia Boss Namjoon x Florist/daughter of a hitman reader, gangster Seventeen Jun.

Warnings: yandere, forced marriage, stalking, kidnapping, obsession, drugging, blackmail, isolation, murder, use of taser, non consensual touching, non consensual kissing, physicalviolence, abuse of power, manipulation, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, cursing, use of knife but not on people, blood, guns, absent mother, divorced parents, former alcoholic father.

Disclaimer: This type of content is not suitable for all audiences and I do not condone any of the presented behaviours. This is purely for entertainment and fictional purposes and I don’t think any BTS member would act like this.

Authors note: My mind is BLOWN, I did NOT just write something like this did I? Oh well, I hope you guys enjoy the one-shot. Feedback is very much appreciated!💜

Soon. Soon enough will all of this be over.

Growing up and seeing your father avoid and deal with loan sharks since you could remember. Haven’t always been the easiest to handle.

You don’t blame your father because after your mother left your dad stopped working, the drinking got even worse, and for a while you had to live with your grandparents until your dad got his shit together.

After a year he claimed he had gotten everything sorted out, but no one believed him until one day he showed up at your grandparent's house with a bunch of gifts.

The same day, he treated you to a nice day at the carnival. He brought you all the tasty sweets, went on all the rides with you, and won you a plushy that became your childhood favorite toy.

For a moment, you forget all the pain from seeing your father and mother fighting for years, seeing mysterious cuts and bruises on his body, and seeing your dad get drunk to the point where he would pass out.

It had been a while since you felt happy and hearing your father laugh and smile, it made you feel like everything was fine now.

That was until you found out how fast your fairytale was coming to an end.

“Sweetie, I'm talking to you, don't walk away!” Your father yelled from the kitchen.

“What dad?! You lied! You said you’d stop borrowing money from them.” You explained, frustrated by the whole situation.

“I know, I know I’m sorry I just-“

“Just what? Put yourself in danger once more? Dad, I can't go through this again!” You shouted, heartbroken that he would do something like that, knowing the harmful consequences.

“I’ll give the money back to them I promise, I’ll make it right.” Your father promised, stepping closer to you.

“How can I believe you?” You asked, finding it hard to believe him this time.

He took a glance at the bag filled with cash on the kitchen table.

“I’ll meet them up tomorrow and sort things out.”

“Promise me.” You said, raising both your eyebrows at him.

“I promise.” He promised, looking into your eyes.

“Come here sweetheart,” He said, pulling you into a hug.

You hesitate before wrapping your arms around him, letting him hug you. He breathed out while he kissed the top of your head.

“I promise I’ll make it right, now you go to bed, you’ve had a long shift.” He said as he quickly let go of you.

“And hey, I love you.” He said, smiling at you.

You gave him a soft smile, saying I love you back before taking a last glance at him while walking up the stairs to your room, hoping this time it would be different.

Your father started to get good at hiding, running away, and protecting himself from those who wanted to harm him. He managed to stop coming home all roughed up for a while.

He knew what he got himself into, the moment he took out his first loan, but what he didn’t know was the danger he had put you through as well.

The next morning you wake up still very tired, you look for your father but can’t seem to find him, assuming he’s out.

Running on 4 hours of sleep, you hurried to your full-time job at the flower shop.

You liked working there, mostly all your life it has been hectic and stressful, not a moment of peace and harmony, and feeling like you have no control over your life.

Taking care of flowers in the most gentle manner possible, carefully selecting the most beautiful ones one could imagine and making them into bouquets, happy to know that it would make someone’s day better made you feel content and in control of something for once.

“There you go.” You said to a customer, giving them the bouquet of the white peonies. “Thank you for shopping with us, hope your fiancée loves the flowers.”

“Thank you, she’ll surely love them, they are her favorite.” He said, smiling as he took the bouquet and stared at them lovingly for a few seconds before wishing you a good evening.

Tired from standing up all day, you stretch and as you let out the yawn you’ve been holding onto, ready to close the shop and go back home.

Before you could flip the sign that said closed, you see a woman approaching the shop, “I’ll be quick I promise.” She spoke loudly enough for you to hear from the other side of the glass door.

With that, you opened the door for her, “Thank you so much.” She said walking into the shop, “I need a bouquet for my mother, she, unfortunately, doesn’t have many days left.” She explained, looking down when she said the last part.

Feeling bad, and happy that you let her in, “I’m sorry to hear that, do you know what kind of flowers she likes?” You asked, walking toward the flowers you had left.

“I think roses?” She said, trying to remember. “Yeah for sure roses.”

“I have a few left in the storage room, I’ll go get some.” You said, taking the keys from the counter, you unlock the door looking for roses. You find some left, but you weren’t sure if she wanted a specific type, thinking you should’ve asked her that first before you came down here.

You turn around and see her standing there. “I’m sorry but no customers are allowed to be back here.” You said, cautiously watching her walk closer to you as you took a step back.

“Oh, I’m not a customer.” She said as she quickly pushed you down hard, making you fall onto the ground, along with shattering a few vases with flowers in them.

You quickly come to your senses as you try to hurry back up, but she takes a fist of your hair in her palm as she harshly pulls your head back and inserts something sharp into your neck.

“Let go!” you yell and to your surprise, she does.

You try to stand up but fall back down, laying down on your side as you couldn’t move and got weaker by the second. “I got her.” As soon as she said that, you could vaguely see two other men running into the room until your vision went fully black.

———

You try to squint your eyes open but quickly shut them when you feel a stinging pain in your throat, you hiss and try to reach for your neck so that you could rub the pain away.

Pulling, you can't seem to bulge your hand free, pulling even harder you now fully open your eyes, and you panic when you can’t seem to move from your spot. It doesn’t take a genius to realize you’ve been tied up on a chair, with both of your hands tied behind your back.

“What the fuck?” You whispered in a slightly raspy voice from the lack of water, you tried looking around for something you could use to set free until you remembered you had a pocket knife in your back pocket for when you used to trim the stems of the flowers. Utterly delighted that you had put it there, you try to reach your back pocket to pull it out but quickly stop when you hear voices coming from upstairs.

“Do you think she knows where her father is?”

Of course, this was about your father, damn it.

The voices got louder as they tried to unlock the door.

“I don’t know, but she’s our best luck for finding him.”

“We better, you know how the boss is.”

With that, a man entered the room. “Good morning sleepy head. I’m Jun!” He said cheerfully, walking down the stairs.

“How long have I been sleeping for?” You asked, scared that you might've been asleep for days.

“That's at least one of your worries.” He said, smiling.

“Your father, where is he?” He asked as he got all serious.

“I don’t know.” You said annoyed, he walked closer as he harshly grabbed your face “Don’t fucking lie to me.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

“I’m not fucking lying.” You managed to say, trying to seem tough but the truth is you were one moment away from having a panic attack and crying your eyes out.

He roughly let go of your face, “Your father is a traitor, do you know what happens to lowlife scum like him? Hm?” He asked, smirking before speaking up again.

“They end up six feet under.”

Your heart began racing, you had no idea what he was talking about but whatever it was, it was something horrible. You didn’t get it, all your father did was borrow some money. Who could he have possibly betrayed?

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about?” You said truthfully.

“Your father was supposed to kill someone that caused us enough trouble, at the last second he spared his life and let him go. This almost caused us trouble.” He said, taking something out from his front pocket.

Your father attempted to murder someone? This can’t be right, you knew him, he wouldn’t do something so disgusting as taking another human life.

“Of course, we took him out, and now we need to take care of your daddy as well.”

“And you think I’ll tell you where he is?” You asked, thinking how stupid they must be for you to snitch on your father.

“For your best, I sure hope you do.” He said, holding up a taser as he walked closer to you.

“No, wait! Please!” You pleaded, trying to squirm away but it was no use, he aimed for your stomach.

You yelled from the cruel stinging pain, shaking as you lost control of your body. “What was that dear? Are you ready to talk?” He asked, not receiving an answer from you, he tried to tase you again but the ringing from his phone stopped him.

He answered the phone while looking at you, smirking. “Yes, boss? I understand, it won't happen again.” He said, as he hung up, looking embarrassed and frankly a bit shaken up.

“You’re lucky, I’m not allowed to touch you anymore. Only watch over you.” He said, putting the taser back into his pocket while standing against the wall, watching over you like a hawk.

You let a shaken sign out as you pulled your head back, relieved that you didn’t have to be tased again.

You carefully try to reach for the knife in your back pocket but can’t seem to have the strength to do so, your hands couldn’t stop shaking and your grip was weak. You had to be smart, they weren’t gonna let you go that easily and even if you did tell them where your father is, they would still kill you, there’s no doubt about that.

You tried connecting the dots, your father must have been a hitman. It makes sense, you didn’t want to believe it, but how he made money so quickly, how all of it was always in cash, and all those nights he used to come home late.

It made sense.

Your mother must’ve thought he was cheating on her if she’d only known it was much worse than that.

Getting a headache from all the shit that has been going on, taking a nap, and trying to regain your energy to recover faster would be the best thing for now. With that, you close your eyes and let sleep take over you.

———

“So?” Namjoon asked on the phone, getting out of his car.

“She’s sleeping, for now, boss, I don’t think she knows. She’ll be useless for us.”

“Don’t fucking underestimate me, you’re on thin ice Jun.” Namjoon threatened, ready to get rid of Jun at any moment now.

“My apologies, sir.” Jun quickly said.

“I’ll visit later today, keep a close eye on her, and don’t fuck up.” He said, hanging up the phone and pressing the button on the top level of the elevator.

Namjoon had this all planned out. Your father was a smart man, but unfortunately, even smart people make stupid decisions. He had left you like a coward, saving his ass like the selfish man he was, thinking that this would probably be the safest option for the both of you.

If you truly didn’t know where your father was, then maybe he should know where you were. After all, it would be rude to not attend his daughter’s and future son-in-law’s wedding.

———

You woke but you didn’t move a muscle, thankfully you felt much better than you did before. With your head down, you slightly open your eyes to see if the guard dog was there, you could see his shoes standing in the same spot you saw him last. Still acting like you’re asleep, you try to reach for the knife you had in your back pocket, you get a hold of it with your fingers as you slowly slip it out.

Still acting like you’re asleep, you magnate to cut free from the rope, catching the rope as it almost landed on the floor, making a sound. You grip the knife tightly in your hand and act as if you just woke up.

Yawning before speaking up, “hey bastard, this place got a bathroom?” You asked, looking around, jumping your right knee up and down.

“No,” he said in a monotone voice.

“What do you get out of this?” You asked in a curious tone.

“Hopefully the pleasure of killing you.” He coldly said.

“Go for it.” You said like it was nothing that your life could end at any minute now.

“Oh right, you can’t.” You smiled smugly. You could see he was getting annoyed by poking his tongue into his cheek, giving you a death glare.

You needed him to get closer to you.

“You need permission from your big, scawy boss don’t you?” You laughed loudly, mocking him.

He almost marched closer to you, bending down to your level while smiling maniacally as he took the taser out, but before he could tase you, you quickly kicked him hard in the face resulting in him falling on his back.

You quickly got up from the chair and searched for the keys to the door in his suit. Looking at him, you must’ve given that man a concussion judging by the amount of blood he had running down from his nose.

You finally found the keys, you took the taser and taser him a few times on the highest level possible just in case he woke up, and for him to have a taste of his own medicine.

You get up and walk to the basement door, still not feeling the strongest, you manage to unlock the door open and see if someone is nearby, thankfully no one was in sight.

You try to run down the stairs, looking for an exit, to your luck, you find a door leading to what seems to be a parking lot, you look at the building and it looks familiar, you finally remember where you’ve seen this place before.

In a magazine, it’s the famous luxury hotel in the country: Kim Hotel.

Was it a slump? Was the business shady? Maybe the hotel was a coverup for the bullshit that went down there.

You start panicking at the thought of being involved with such powerful people, you feel like you couldn’t breathe so you start to hyperventilate, feeling dizzy you don’t notice the man approaching you from behind. “Miss? Sweetheart, are you okay?” He said, looking at you up and down, making sure you weren’t physically hurt anywhere.

This was your chance, frantically you try to explain that you needed help “Help- help me I’ve been kid- kidnapped and-“

“It’s okay slow down, slow down tell me what happened?” He asked, looking at you while holding the sides of your arms, trying to understand you but not being able to.

You took a deep shaky breath before speaking up, “a woman, she kidnapped me and a man looked me up in the basement.” You cried, looking over your shoulder in paranoia.

“Kidnapped?” He asked, with knitted eyebrows.

“Yes! And-and this woman, she drugged me and he started to taser me.” You continue as your voice gets louder and shakier.

“Shh it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He said, trying to calm you down as he pulled you against his chest, hugging you while trying to calm you down by rubbing your back in circles in a comforting manner.

“I forgot my phone in my office, it’s not far. I’ll call the police from there.” He said, pulling away to look at you.

“Okay, but we need to hurry, they might find me.” You said, looking around once again.

“Come with me.” He said, taking your hand as he led you inside the hotel through the back door.

Trying to act as natural as possible and avoid attention. You try to avoid the workers, scared that they might recognize you and report you to their boss.

You get into the elevator and notice he’s pressing the top level. You finally reach the highest level, still holding your hand, he takes you into his office.

He was well off, he looked like it in his grey suit. He made you sit down on the couch in his office, bringing you some water to hydrate. You gladly took it as you thanked him and chugged the whole thing.

Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, “Sir, the police.” You reminded him.

“Oh, I didn’t bring you here to call the police baby.”

“You’re the boss aren’t you?” You asked, fearing for your life, hoping that you were wrong. But his dimpled smile was enough of an answer.

You grip the armchair, digging your fingers into the black leather couch, looking at the door you came in from before.

How could you be so stupid?

“Don’t, even, think, about it.” He slowly said, watching you from his desk.

“I don’t know where my father is.” You admitted.

“I know you don’t know,” he said, walking closer to you. He tucked your hair behind your ear, you started to tremble, trying to back up a little bit he quickly got a hold of your chin as a warning not to test him. He slightly tilted your chin, making you look up at him. “Do you think your father cares about you?”

What he asked caught you off guard. Not answering the question right away, “Yes, he cares about me a lot.” You said, glaring at him.

“Is that so?” He gently let go of your face and sat down on the couch on the opposite side of you.

“Then why hasn't he saved you yet? You’d think he’d be looking for you after three days, after all, he was the one that got you into this mess.”

3 days?! You had been kidnapped for 3 whole days! You hated admitting it, but he’s right. Surely your father had his reasons, maybe he’s plotting to save you right now?

Not knowing what to say, you look down as you try to stop your tears from falling. Trying to stay strong for the both of you.

“Let’s test how much your father cares about you, hm.” He said, leaning closer to you.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked, scared by what the answer might be.

“Surely he’d quickly come and try to save you by offering himself, that is if he saw his baby girl getting married to the man he hates more than himself.”

“No, no I can’t do that! I refuse!” You stood up, attempting to run to the door but you fell on your knees.

Fuck, he drugged you. The familiar feeling was back, your vision getting blurry as the ringing in your ears began.

“Ah, perfect timing.” He said, referring to the drugs he has put in your water.

“Don’t worry, we’ll sort everything out once you wake up.” He explained, crouching down to carry your bridal style. Fitting, you thought.

“No” You managed to whisper while trying to push him away, but it was no use.

“Shh, it’s okay, just close your eyes and we’ll be there before you know it.” He tried to reassure you.

Not having the energy to fight it anymore, you close your eyes, the last thing you saw was his dimpled smile while he looked down at you in awe.

“I’m taking her to my house, prepare for the wedding. And take care of that imbecile Jun.” Namjoon said to one of his men, annoyed that no one seems to be competent these days.

“Yes sir.”

This was it, he finally had you exactly where he wanted.

———

You groan as you slowly wake up, feeling hot and sweaty. You remove the blanket from your body to feel the cool air touching your skin. Feeling a little better, you quickly sit on the bed and look around, not knowing where the hell you were.

You found yourself in a bedroom, laying in a king-sized bed surrounded by soft pillows and blankets. The room was huge, and most of the furniture was black and grey, with some gold details.

You try to remember what had happened, and the last thing you remember was talking to him about getting married…

You start to get stressed out so you get up from the bed, now noticing someone has changed your clothes into silk pink nightwear. You started to freak out, he dressed you and took your knife?!

You start looking for an exit, ready to get the hell out of here. You run towards the door and try to open it, but it won’t budge.

“Going somewhere?”

You freeze at the spot you were, slowly turning around to face him.

Where the fuck did he come from?

“Baby I asked you a question?” He said with knitted eyebrows, walking closer to you. You don’t dare to move, “Nowhere.” You said in a low voice.

“For your sake, I hope not.” He said, looking at you up and down, knowing you’re lying to him.

“Where am I?” You asked, looking out the window trying to figure out where you were, but it was no use because all you could see were trees and bushes.

“Your soon to be home.” He simply said, now standing right in front of you.

“As I said, I won’t do it.” You said, fed up at this point.

“Baby, I wasn’t asking.” He said, getting slowly frustrated by your refusal to comply with his sick, twisted request.

“I’m being generous enough by letting you know beforehand.” He said, trying to catch your gaze.

“I don’t even know you.”

“My name is Kim Namjoon, I’m 28 years old, and my favorite color is yellow.” He quickly said.

You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not, so you just stood there looking at him weirdly.

“How long?” You broke the silence, “How long until?”

“Hopefully, we’ll be married tomorrow.”

Tomorrow?! You thought, you slightly widened your eyes, not believing what he had just told you. That doesn’t give you enough time to plan an escape, you have to think of a plan, fast.

“Where’s my ring?” You asked, playing along to his twisted game.

He smiled, delighted that you asked him that question. “I thought we’d go on a walk, I know how much you like flowers.” He said, gesturing to you to hold his arm like two couples in love.

You weakly smiled at him as you grabbed his arm, he walked you out of his beautiful house. Too bad the owner of it is scum.

He opens the front door and you’re greeted by an almost magical looking view, it looks enchanting.

It was large and had all kinds of different flowers and plants, they all matched in similar colors, making it look neat and dreamy.

You walk closer and the fragrant floral scent gets stronger as the warm wind softly goes by while the sun shines brighter than ever, you almost forget he was next to you until he spoke up “Do you like it?”

“I love it.” You said truthfully, not being able to take your eyes off it. You walk through the garden only stopping to touch the soft, silk-like petals of a ranunculus.

You spot big yellow rose bushes and walk towards them, you slightly bend down and smell the lovely roses that had violet and almost lemony scents. The aroma calms you down, reminding you that everything’s gonna be okay, eventually.

“Why yellow?” You asked, turning around to face him, curious about what he’d say.

“I once heard that yellow roses represent delight, new beginnings, and happiness.” He said, looking at you as he had a pleased smile on his face.

The sun shined even brighter, it laid on top of his honey-like skin, he looked warm and welcoming. For a second there, he almost seemed innocent and pure.

Namjoon got a hold of your hand as he took something out of his pocket, you weren’t sure of what it was until he gently slid it on your ring finger.

Your heart started to beat fast again as this situation you were in got even more real, if he wasn’t some deranged psychopath, this would’ve been very romantic and lovely. But unfortunately for you, he was.

You quickly slip your hand out of his, and you start to get even more nervous. What if your father didn’t come? What will happen if he doesn’t? Will he get rid of you too?

All these thoughts started to race through your mind and your breathing got even quicker.

“Baby what’s wrong?” He asked, noticing the state you were in, holding your face as he scanned the issue, not knowing it’s him that’s causing you to panic.

Wanting to desperately get away from him, you try to pull yourself together for once. “Nothing.” You breathe out, looking at the flowers that give you comfort. “Nothing, I’m- I’m fine.” You reassured him, trying to control your breathing, avoiding his gaze and touch on your skin.

That was until he suddenly pulled you in and kissed your forehead, it seemed like he was checking your temperature because he stayed like that for a few seconds. He didn’t look like he believed you because he sent you to his bedroom and told you to get some rest, after all, you needed it for your big day tomorrow.

“Boss, he decided to reach out.” One of Namjoon’s men said, giving him the phone.

“Let her go!” Your father yelled at the end of the line.

“Or what?” Namjoon asked, amazed that he dared to speak in such a high insulting tone with him.

Like father, like the daughter he chuckled.

“This is between us, she has nothing to do with this.”

“Well now she does, I have you to thank for that don’t I? Father-in-law?” Namjoon teased.

Your father grew angrier by the second, ready to curse Namjoon out as he cringed at the last part.

“You put her in this situation, I’m just claiming what’s mine after all these years.” Namjoon simply explained.

“Namjoon you bastard!-“

With that, Namjoon hung up the phone. At this point, it didn’t matter if your father came to try and rescue you or not. He had his mind set already, you were his and nothing was stopping him from getting what he wants: you.

———

You sit in Namjoon’s room for what seems like hours, not being able to sleep. You look around for other possible ways to escape.

You could break the glass windows, but that would be too much of a risk. You sit on the bed, running your hand through your hair in frustration but soon get interrupted by a knock on the door.

The person enters the room, and you look up and see it’s the dog from the basement. He seemed more roughed up than you saw him last, he must’ve gotten a beating.

“Take this, Bosses orders.” He says, handing you some kind of pill and putting a tray with food on the bed.

The pill looked like a painkiller, but you weren’t taking your chances. You’ve been drugged two times already, enough is enough.

“I’m not taking that.” You quickly said.

“Please, just take it.” He said, looking at you scared of what Namjoon would do to him if he messes up once more.

You started to feel bad for him, so instead, you gave him the pill.

“You look like you need it more than me.” You said, giving him a slight smile.

He hesitatingly took the pill, looking at it for a second before swallowing it without any water.

Before he could leave, you just had to ask “Do you have any news about my father.” You asked, desperate to know anything at this point.

He stops for a moment, not sure if he should further interact with you.

He closes the door and walks closer to you. “I heard he called earlier, he’ll for sure be there tomorrow. And when he does, he’ll get killed. There’s no doubt about that.” He explained.

Relieved that your father was alive, “You said my father lied about killing someone he should have?”

He nodded before speaking, “But I think the issue is more than just that, usually boss stops when the person is dead.”

“I think he’s angry because your father betrayed, and humiliated him.” He clarified.

That somewhat makes sense, but why does he need to marry you? Maybe it was to piss your dad off?

You take a deep breath, ready to ask something that could either set you free, have you live in eternal misery, or not live at all.

“Can you please help me escape?” You whispered harshly, grabbing his arm and looking at him in desperation.

“I can’t, it’s too much of a risk.” He looked at you as his eyes widened by your sudden plea.

“You don’t have to do much, I just need a distraction.” You tried to persuade him.

You study him, not sure if he’d want to help you or not. His life is at stake already, it would be stupid to help you and he’s already risking it by talking to you right now.

He breathed out through his nose, “Okay fine, but we need to be careful. We only have one shot at this.”

“Thank you.” You said, almost not believing that he agreed with you, you could’ve sworn you imagined it.

“When you walk down the aisle, I’ll set off a distraction by shooting nearby, Namjoon will order his men to take care of it, and when he does.” He pauses.

“You run.” He says, dead serious, he takes out his car keys giving them to you, “The car is parked behind the house. You drive until there’s no more gas left, do you understand me?” He looked at you in the eyes, holding your hand with the car keys in your palm.

Before you could answer, you hear the door open. Quickly letting go of your hand, he walks out of the room with his head down. You look at Namjoon glaring at Jun until he fully leaves, he closes the door and takes off his suit jacket, “I hope he didn’t bother you.”

“No, he just left some food with a painkiller.” You said, tightly gripping the car keys in your hand. You were sure it would leave a mark but you didn’t care.

You watch him nervously as he ripped off his tie, “huh,” he said, walking toward the walk-in closet to get changed. Meanwhile, he was there, you quickly put the keys in your bra.

He came out a minute later, wearing shorts with a simple black T-shirt that sat snuggly on his body, highlighting his silhouette and toned figure.

What a waste of handsomeness you thought.

“Have you had a chance to see your dress yet?” He asked, sitting on the bed edge of the bed.

“No.”

“I have a few selected for you, you can choose the one you desire. I also have a few trustful people hired to take care of your hair and makeup.” He explained, pausing to turn to look at you. “So don’t try to escape. Understand?”

“Yes.” You said, looking at the tray of food. Not sure if you should eat it or not. What if it had some kind of drugs that make you feel too tired to run away?

Before you could decide if you should eat or not, your stomach decided for you because it suddenly started to make a grumbling growling sound.

You looked down at your stomach, cursing under your breath, embarrassed that he had heard you, but surprisingly the big scary mafia boss laughed.

You looked at him, thinking why was he laughing?

“Cute.” He said smiling, carrying the tray to the coffee table. “Eat up, it’s safe.”

Not needing to be asked twice, you decided getting some food in your system wouldn’t be so bad. So you get up and sit by the chair near the table and start eating.

After finishing your food and getting ready to wash up, Namjoon suggested that you should sleep early, to look your best tomorrow.

You finish washing up and walk towards the bed to grab a pillow to sleep on the couch. Namjoon notices, “What are you doing?” He asks

“Sleeping on the couch?” You said, stopping at your spot.

“No, you’re sleeping with me tonight.” He ordered, grabbing the pillow out of your hand while pulling you to bed.

“Fine.” You said through clenched teeth, giving up easily, not wanting to anger him.

You try to put a pillow between you guys but he quickly grabs it and throws it on the ground. Soon enough, he pulled you in by your waist so that he could be the big spoon.

“Seriously?” You asked, irritated while you tried to get away by pushing him, but it was no use.

“Shh go to sleep now, you’ll need all the beauty you could get.” He coed, turning the lights off as he wrapped his arms around you while he rested his chin on your shoulder.

Hating how suffocating, but somewhat nice it felt. You try to relax, thinking over the plan and hoping that Jun wouldn’t betray you.

This was your only chance, you couldn’t afford to mess it up.

———

You are woken by an annoying beeping sound, still feeling a bit groggy, you try to locate the sound by listening to where it came from.

Ah, the alarm clock. You aggressively hit it, still in bed with your face buried into a pillow.

Or so you thought because it started to vibrate, making a chuckling sound.

You quickly look up and see Namjoon staring at you with sleepy, sensual looking eyes, greeting you with a good morning smirk.

You swiftly get up from bed, now finally feeling fully awake. You clear your throat, “Uh, it’s bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day before the ceremony.” You explained, continuing to play the part.

“You’re right, but I have a good feeling about this.” He said, sitting on the bed before getting up to get ready.

“Baby, I need to take care of some things. Can I trust to leave you alone?” He asked, walking towards the bathroom.

You nod, as you watch him turn on the shower. You turn your back around, checking if the key was still there because it strangely felt a little too comfortable, thankfully it was still there.

Now all you had to do now was get dressed without someone noticing you have a piece of metal between your boobs.

You sit on the bed for what seemed to be a half an hour, waiting for Namjoon to get ready to leave. He fixes his tie once again, “They'll be here in five minutes. Can’t wait to see you then.” He said, gently kissing your forehead before heading out.

It wasn't long until a whole team of makeup artists and stylists swarmed into the room.

You look at the dresses Namjoon had chosen for you to choose from, they were all beautiful wedding gowns but you had to let your personal taste stay behind because you needed to choose the most practical dress to run away in.

You chose the one with less fabric and more space so that you could run fast. The dress was still very stunning as it looked gorgeous.

While you got your hair and makeup done, you couldn’t help but stare at your wedding ring the whole time. Hating the feeling of the beautiful diamond ring wrapped around your finger like that.

It wasn’t long until you were ready, the team that had gotten you ready looked pleased, waiting for you to take a look at yourself in the mirror.

You turn around and see that you looked almost unrecognizable, not in a bad way, but more in a way where you didn’t ever think you could ever look this beautiful.

Stopping yourself from almost crying at the thought of getting married this way. This was not how you’d imagined it. You were gonna marry someone you love, someone you could spend the rest of your life with, someone that made you happy and made you feel complete.

This, this was not it.

You clear your throat before recollecting yourself, thanking the team for their hard work while you sit in Namjoon’s room quietly.

You hear a knock on the door and Jun enters the room, “The ceremony won’t begin in a few, boss said you could arrange your bouquet if you’d like?”

“I’d love that.” You said, getting up as he escorted you out.

He seemed to look better today than yesterday, he still had an awful bruise on his face but you could tell it was healing quickly.

He walked you out and you could see that the ceremony was being held in the garden, you could tell by the nice subtle decorations and the beautifully flower-decorated gazebo right in the middle of the garden.

“You look pretty by the way.” He said, holding a pair of floral scissors in his right hand. Understanding that you won’t be the one cutting the flowers for your bouquet, only arranging them.

“Thank you Jun,” you said, weakly smiling at him while walking towards the white roses.

“Will you cut these for me?” You said pointing at the white roses, he cut a few of them and a few others you had told him to cut.

Holding a bunch of flowers in your hand, you return to your room, but before Jun could leave you all alone again, “Remember the plan.” He said, giving you a sad smile, as he slowly and carefully closed the door.

You arrange the flowers into a pretty yet elegant bouquet. Satisfied by how it turned out, you get interrupted by one of Namjoon’s men knocking on the door, shouting from the other side of the door that it’s time.

You take a last glance at yourself in the mirror as you take a slow deep breath, putting the veil over your face. You hold the flowers in both of your hands in front of you.

You had to remember this was a fake wedding, something to lure your father into Namjoon’s palm. But even then, what will he do to him? Kill him and then let you go after all of this is over? You’d doubt that.

You try not to think about it anymore to avoid further stress, the last thing you do before walking out is put a fake smile on your face.

You hear music playing and you understand that’s your cue, the doors open and you could see Namjoon standing in the gazebo. If it wasn’t for your fucked up situation. This would have seemed like a marvelous wedding ceremony, but it could not be the furthest thing from that.

Noticing some of Namjoon’s mobsters guarding the place making it almost impossible to run away, but you don’t see Jun.

You walk out, focusing on looking at him. He stood there with his hand on top of the left one, smiling, almost looking pleased with himself.

Sick fuck you thought.

As you got closer and closer, your heart started to beat faster and faster. Swallowing your fear, you now stand right in front of him.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said, looking at you with lustful eyes.

And just like that, you hear loud gunshots. With everyone’s attention on the sound and the bodyguards running towards it.

You start running like hell.

Running to the backyard, panicking, you take out the car keys and press to unlock. Finding the car and running towards it, you open the passenger car door only to find a person falling down the seat.

It was Jun.

With a bullet through his head.

The sight had you nearly passed out, but before you could react, someone harshly grabbed your arm.

“Let go!” You yelled, trying to set free but not being able to.

He didn’t respond as he pulled you towards the garden.

“I said let go!” You yelled once again pulling away from him, only this time harder.

He lets go and leaves you alone, that is until you hear a sigh so you turn around and look up and see Namjoon staring at you with a disappointed look on his face.

Now you were fucked.

“What did I ask you not to do?” He calmly said, which scared you evermore.

“Don't try to escape.” You mumbled, trying to look away from him.

He walked closer to you as you flinched back a little, he grabbed your face to look him in the eyes.

“Exactly, but you did it anyway.”

“Baby, do you know what happens to people who disobey and betray me?” He asked, a slight smile forming on the corner of his lips.

“No.” You whispered, scared of what he might tell you.

“Come, let me show you instead.” He quickly said, tightly grabbing your arm in an almost brushing grip, pulling you towards the yellow rose bushes.

“You were right, your daddy does care about you huh baby?” He said, still pulling you as you struggled to keep up.

“Babygirl, I want you to say hello to my father.” He said, pushing you down on the soil in front of the first yellow rose bush.

“My mother.” He said, pulling you to the next one rose bush.

“And lastly,” he paused.

“Your father.”

No, no no no it couldn't be.

“Do you understand now not to test me baby?” He asked crouching down to your level as he gently held your face in his palms.

Not knowing what to say or how to react, you stare at him in shock, nodding fastly up and down.

Your dress is now completely ruined as your hands and feet sink deep into the dirt, you tightly grip the soil under you in your hands, feeling how it gets under your nails.

He looked at you in adoration as he tucked your messy hair behind your ear, taking a closer look at your face before gently pulling you in, placing his warm lips against yours, giving you a peek.

He slowly pulled away, using his thumb to wipe away the single tear that slid down your flustered dirty cheek.

“Until death do us apart.”

———

*4 years ago*

Namjoon had a heated discussion with your father. Your father wanted to quit doing his dirty work and of course, when you’re in this life you can’t get out of it, not alive at least.

“I don’t think that’s smart of you to do,” Namjoon said, getting up from his leather office chair.

“I know you don’t care about your low life but you surely care about your daughters.” Namjoon continued, threatening your father.

“Leave her out of this!” Your father yelled, pulling a gun out of his pocket and aiming it at Namjoon.

Namjoon smirked, almost laughing at the pathetic man in front of him.

“There’s no need for that,” Namjoon said, looking at the gun, but your father stood in the same position until he was knocked out by someone behind him.

“Torture him until he comes to his senses,” Namjoon ordered, looking at the passed-out man in pity and disgust.

“Yes, boss.”

That night, Namjoon decided to visit the precious daughter that he had been curious about for a while now.

What made you so special that your father would give up his life for you? That kind of thinking didn’t make sense to Namjoon.

He parked right outside your flower shop, watching you from a distance as he studied your features.

You were rather beautiful, an eternal kind of beauty, alluring and almost delicate looking.

He watched you as you finished up the last bouquet for a customer.

A bouquet of yellow roses.

He watched you as you stretched your arms up and yawned, he couldn’t help but giggle as he thought of how cute and silly you looked while doing it.

Shocked by the sound he made, he quickly cleared his throat and looked around as if someone had seen or heard him.

Why did you have this kind of effect on him? He didn’t understand but it made him confused, he started to hate the idea of you being gone so he decided to do something he’d never thought he would do: let you live.

Before he drove off, sparing your life. He looked up at the light from the waxing crescent moon.

Despite it being only a crescent moon, it looked very bright, almost white. Glowing, glimmering, and shimmering. It nearly looked magical as he felt like he was enchanted by it.

He looked at you again as you flipped the sign from open to closed.

He carefully watched your moves as you walked through a door, disappearing into a room filled with beautiful flowers surrounding your beautiful self.

You could say at that moment…

He was moonstruck by you.

2K notes · View notes

minniepetals · 2 years

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cry me a river | the second choice

— summary: an illusion of free choice, it will always be namjoon in the end

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 10.3k

— warnings: none but i do apologize beforehand for any anger/sadness you may feel :)

— PART 16 / previous post / masterpost

May 20XX; Age Six [Kim Namjoon]

“Joon.” Jungwon crouches down before him, his eyes a stare much more serious than ever before. There is still kindness in his eyes, there will always be kindness in his eyes, but as Namjoon looks up at his older brother, even the little boy can tell a storm may be brewing in the corner. “If I ever disappear,” he speaks in a low voice so that no one else can hear but Namjoon, “I want you to take over. You got that?”

Namjoon furrows his brows, a face of fear and confusion plastered upon his little boyish features. “Hyung…what do you mean by that?”

Jungwon smiles ruefully, the hand he has on his brother’s shoulder patting gently. “You know exactly what I mean.”

“But hyung, I..” Namjoon shakes his head, refusing to give into what his brothers’ words imply. “Disappear? What do you mean by that? If you’re not by my side, how can I ever go on, hyung? You can’t leave. I won’t be able to do anything without you.”

“Sure you can.” His voice is kind, sweet, always offering the gentlest words despite how cruel this world is. “I know you can.” Then, Jungwon’s tone shifts. “And I know you will.”

“Hyung?” Namjoon takes a step closer to his brother, anxiety weighing against his chest so strong he hopes it can disappear when he touches his brother’s hands but it doesn’t. Something’s not right. Something’s wrong. And usually, Jungwon’s always there to fix everything for him but this time it feels as if the very source of that problem is Jungwon himself.

And as if he’d disappear right before his eyes, Namjoon holds himself closer to his elder brother, panic settling in his chest in the most uncomfortable way.

“Don’t tell me…” He whispers, afraid of the answer.

When Jungwon sends him a tight smile, the answer is clear. “It’s okay, I’ll be gone for only a few years.”

“Years!” Namjoon exclaims in defiance. “Hyung, you can’t—”

“Shh!” A finger held against his lips, he quickly shuts the younger boy down as he looks around instantly, trying to sense any other presence around the two of them. But Namjoon doesn’t care for that right now, all Namjoon cares for is the fact that he’s going to be losing his brother very soon.

As if Jungwon can feel just how afraid his little brother is for his disappearance, his eyes settle back on him, large hands engulfing Namjoon’s with a tight squeeze.

“You’ll be alright, I just gotta take care of some things. But just in case, Joon, and this is just in case, got that?” He doesn’t continue until Namjoon gives him a nod. “Just in case something…” He hesitates, knowing that frightening the boy further will only alleviate more anxiety but he also knows that he has to in order to make him stronger. “If something goes wrong, I need you to become the head of Bangtan, you got that?”

“But—”

“No matter what,” he emphasizes with a force. “You have to become the next head. And if that takes you years before you can pick up the courage, let it be. Just know that no matter what, father cannot live until he lies on his deathbed with greying hair. I want you to bring him there before even a strand of his hair whitens.”

“Hyung..”

“I know.” Jungwon nods, his lips tight in a straight line before he continues. “I know it’s quite the burden I’ve placed on your shoulders but this is the only way you can free yourself, Joon. If I’m not here to be the one to take him down, you’re going to have to step up to be the big boy. You can do that, can’t you?”

“I..I-I’ll try,” he says, though knowing he could never. He’s just a little boy after all, and thinking about becoming the next head is something that can only happen in dreams and fairytales. “But hyung, you…you can’t die. Please, hyung,” Namjoon takes ahold of his brother’s shirt, pleading, begging, as his tiny little hands that are balled into knuckle white fists trembles. “You have to survive, no matter what. Or else I’ll never forgive you.”

“I know Joon, I know.” Jungwon brings his little brother into his chest in order to try and relieve some of the stress he’s feeling. He holds onto him tightly as he hides his own fears and unease. “No matter what, I will do all that I can to return to your side. I promise I’ll be back and when I come back, we’ll take over Bangtan together and lead the gang into a new era.”

“You promise?”

“Mmn. I promise.”

That was the first promise Jungwon ever broke.

June 20XX; Age Twenty-Two

“I hope that you will treat my daughter well. She is quite precious to me. She knows nothing of the violent side to things and I wish to keep that pure and innocence with her until the day she no longer walks this earth.”

The Grim Reaper. Said to be quite ruthless and cruel. There were rumors that he had a daughter but Namjoon never knew it was a daughter he cherished so much. Perhaps her hidden identity and the reason as to why she was known to only exist in rumors and fantasies is because the Grim Reaper hides her well in the hopes of protecting her.

Huh.

What a decent father, unlike the man Namjoon wishes to no longer remember.

“Of course. You have my word.”

“Namjoon, are you alright?”

It’s strange the way you concern yourself in his business despite only being in a marriage of convenience. From the first moment Namjoon saw you, he knew you were someone who only held kindness in your heart, but even then this was nothing but a contract.

“You do not need to concern yourself with me. We may be husband and wife but you are not obligated to care for my needs. Our marriage is only a contract after all.”

He hopes you would leave then. You look like someone who would listen to each and every word someone tells you to. After all, you’re even timid around his own boys despite the fact that you are in a position much higher than them. If you had the heart to, you could even berate them without fear of any consequences coming down on you with the power you hold. Obviously, Namjoon would never let you but he knows that even then, having your father’s strength behind you would serve well were you to use that to your advantage.

Thankfully, however, to Namjoon’s relief, you aren’t some spoiled brat who only thinks highly of herself.

“Forgive me, I do not mean to cross your boundaries but I am not speaking as your contractual wife, Namjoon. I am speaking to you as myself. As Y/N. Not Mrs. Kim.” His fingers freeze against his keyboard just as you say, “So I’d like to ask again; are you alright, Namjoon?”

What a strange little girl.

Strange indeed.

Yet…not the bad kind of strange.

You’re a kind young lady who knows how to treat others with respect, though a part of him believes you may be too cautious for your own good. Seokjin could tell right away that you fear them, that even though you try your hardest to be the kind person that you are, you still distance yourself in subtle ways, timid and afraid of things unbeknownst to them.

You hide yourself well, present yourself in a poised and elegant manner, different from what he images a young lady of your age should behave. You’re closer to Jungkook’s age, and although the young boy has his own pasts and traumas he’s dealt with, he’s learned to work well with others and be free in the ways he can (mostly through Jimin’s efforts).

But you’re different from Jungkook.

The both of you are on the quieter side, but unlike the way Jungkook’s content with his silence, you fall more rigid and timid and perhaps it’s all because you’re in an environment different from that of your father’s estate.

He wonders how you were treated there, how much he spoiled you, how the servants cared for you, and although a part of Namjoon envies you for growing up with a kind father who watches out for your wellbeing, he knows not to get jealous of those things.

Still, it makes him wonder just what sort of reaction you’d have were he to put you in a difficult position.

And through his selfishness, he makes his first mistake and lives to regret it the moment he sees you crying in the arms of Taehyung.

“I was scared,” you confess in a barely audible whisper. “I was so scared.”

He should have never mixed purity with the cruel world he grew up in. No matter how envious he was of the way you grew up, no matter how curious he was to see how you’d respond to being put in a spot that’d make things difficult for you for the first time, he should have never done what he did.

Namjoon was cruel.

A cruel, cruel man.

“I made you feel as if you had no choice to refuse, as if you were nothing but a pawn to me.”

“But, I am a pawn.”

He saw himself in you. In the way you coward before him as if he was still the little boy that he was years ago, trying to look his bravest but ultimately failing whenever it came to confronting his father head-on.

His father always made him feel like a pawn and here he is, doing the exact same thing to an innocent little girl.

“No. You are Y/N. You are not a pawn. You deserve to live just as much as the rest of us.”

He should have never forced you into that situation.

“Want to sneak out?” Namjoon hears a voice in the middle of the night, the tone whispered lowly as if up to no good.

He lets out a silent sigh as he remains hidden behind a wall, taking a small glance Jungkook’s way as the two of them were just on their way back from a meeting. The younger one remains the silent person that he is, not uttering a word as the troublesome Jimin tries to coerce you into sneaking out.

“What, I..-I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Jimin, I’m…did you forget who I am?”

Daughter of a powerful mafia leader, wife to another powerful mafia leader. Perhaps living the life protected by others may indeed be burdensome at times. You have restrictions, unable to live the normal life you’d like, not being able to enjoy the world outside as much as you wish to, being cautious of your identity, and always having to ask permission for every little thing in order to remain safe and secure.

He’s seen the way your father treats you; eyes always kept your way no matter where you go as if cautious and afraid something would go wrong were something to happen. You’ve never lived a life without being under surveillance, have you?

He guesses even the love of a father may be burdensome, just as it is for a child growing up without love. Though he’s glad you didn’t have to grow up the way he did. At least you had people who cared for you and he hoped you’ve had nothing but the best growing up.

“Namjoon will be upset and angry at me if he ever finds out.”

When his name is brought into the conversation, Namjoon begins listening in more intently.

“Oh please,” he hears Jimin laugh, “If Namjoon ever finds out, he’ll only go after me. I promise.”

How shameful of him, knowing just how troublesome he is that he’ll be the only one getting scolded and yet continues on his antics without care.

“I can’t believe in that promise.”

“Huh. You really don’t trust him, do you?”

“Our relationship was arranged, Namjoon wouldn’t let me off if I were to ever disobey him.”

Namjoon leans away from the wall after those words, a hand placed upon the maknae’s shoulder as he whispers, “Watch over them, will you?”

“Hyung?” As he goes on to walk off, Jungkook looks back at him with confusion. “You won’t try to stop Jimin?”

The leader simply gives him a shrug before disappearing into the dark halls, leaving Jungkook to do what he wants with both you and Jimin.

It seems that as the day passes by, the boys are slowly becoming fond of you. Even Jungkook who’s usually very slow upon warming up to people doesn’t reappear before him later that night, leaving Namjoon to guess that he went on the expedition with you and Jimin.

When he asks you about it the next day, you put the blames all on yourself, not wanting anyone else to get in trouble, and Namjoon sighs.

“You are my wife, Y/N, not my prisoner. If you wish to go out, you have every right to do so. However, you must make sure that you have at least two guards with you at all times. You are my wife, after all, even if no one knows of your identity.”

Even if it’s just the smallest amount of freedom he can give you, Namjoon hopes it’ll give you a bit of a breather.

If even a little.

Yet freedom comes at a price and the second Namjoon thought he’d finally be able to see your happiness flourishing, the light that produced flickered away in mere minutes and you’re down on the ground, panicking with fear taking total control until it is Seokjin who has to be the one to ground you down.

“I’m here,” he repeats, “I’m here.”

He goes through a breathing exercise with you patiently, gently, until finally your exhaustion catches onto you and you collapse there right in his arms, falling asleep to the beat of his heartbeat.

Namjoon vows right then and there to give the man who had done this to you the slowest death he can offer.

You were so happy a few days ago, smiling and laughing along after what he had put you through, and just when he thought things have finally calmed down, your peace and joy has been ripped away from you once more.

He won’t forgive himself for using you as a pawn but he’ll kill the one who had scared you and shattered your soft, forgiving heart.

Namjoon fell in love with you just as fast as he had fallen out of love.

Just three years — two years of loving. And Namjoon grew tired of your silence.

Your silence.

Your quiet, quiet silence.

When he loved and cared and opened his heart up, revealing his deepest insecurities and pasts with you, things he never does unless he truly trusts someone, when he broke down his walls and allowed you into his arms, you remained silent.

There were times when you’d lean on them, when you’d turn to them during rough moments, when you couldn’t sleep, when you were feeling insecure about your position in the relationship, when you were afraid of an enemy, when you just needed a shoulder to cry on.

But there were also times when you’d awake in the middle of the night, shutting down and holding yourself together without the tiniest peep. Those were the times when Namjoon had to make an effort. To hold you, to remind you that it was okay to turn to them, to lean on them.

Because they loved you.

There were times when you’d shed tears and say nothing, remaining completely silent. No matter how much effort he had put in, how much they had put in, trying to ease the answers out of you, remaining patient with you all the way, reminding you of their love and care, you wouldn’t say a word about your struggles.

And it hurts because they’ve shared parts of themselves that no one else knew yet there you were, walls still held up high without the slightest crack in between.

Did you love them as much as they loved you? Were they showing you enough love? What if all their efforts were all for naught? What if their love weren’t enough for you to see, to feel, to have, to hold, to cherish? What if they weren’t good enough to keep you as their own?

What if you were better off returning to your father? In a place where you’re used to, surrounded by people who knows you, who understands just what to do when you’re like this? Those who can take care of you in ways they could never?

If you returned, would you be happier?

“Is she even happy?”

“What are you saying, Namjoon?” Seokjin looks at him as if he has two heads, brows deepened with confusion as he pushes aside the paperwork before him. “You can’t just go around coming up with your own conclusions without communicating.”

“I tried, hyung, I’ve tried.” He runs a hand through his hair, biting onto his lower lip to keep his emotions at bay. “But she doesn’t say anything, hyung. What am I supposed to do with that?”

“So you try harder,” Seokjin stresses, feeling irritated he even has to say such simple reasonings aloud. “She’s always been so patient with us, why can’t you do the same?”

“I know hyung, I know.” He knows, he understands, but the longer he’s kept in the dark, the more his thoughts stray away into thinking what if you were better off elsewhere? What if you were better off returning to your father? To your safe place? If he can’t provide you with the right love and care that you need, then wouldn’t it be better for you to return to the Reapers?

“I feel like I’m not doing enough,” he says as he looks away from Seokjin, trying to hide the overwhelming emotions. “I thought that if I loved her enough, she’d finally trust us with her vulnerable side but what if this love isn’t enough for her? What if all that I’ve been doing has been for naught? What if—”

“Namjoon.” The eldest lowers his voice into a threat, not wanting him to utter any more words.

But Namjoon keeps going. “What if I end this?”

“Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin stands from his chair, feet stomping right on over and without hesitation, pushes Namjoon right up the wall behind him in a harsh and forceful manner. “Don’t you dare say that ever again. Just because the two of you are legally married doesn’t mean the rest of us shouldn’t have a say in it. If you end it for the two of you, you end it for the rest of us.”

“But she’d be happier!”

“You don’t know that!”

“What else am I supposed to think?!” He looks up with a force and Seokjin almost gasps at the sight of tears falling from his eyes. Namjoon isn’t one to shed tears, not like how easy it is for someone like Jungkook. Out of everyone, the leader always keeps himself composed no matter what situation he’s faced with and it has to take a lot in him to finally allow tears to fall.

Seokjin almost takes a step back when Namjoon leans against the wall and slides down, hitting the ground with a thud. He lets his tears flow, not caring to wipe them away, not caring to hide them anymore.

“I can’t love her enough,” he says in a low, low whisper. “My love isn’t enough for her.”

“...What are you trying to say?”

Namjoon falls silent for a moment. And a heartbeat later, he confesses his feelings. “I can’t love her,” he says, “not in the way I used to.”

As his nostrils thicken and his eyes redden, Seokjin pulls Namjoon back up by the collar. “What sort of pathetic excuse were you trying to make before?” He growls, the flash of anger and hurt clearly seen in his eyes. “She’d be happier with her father? Are you serious? Y/N’s silence shouldn’t be the reason for you to give up like this. You know perfectly well how love works. Not everything is exciting and filled with happiness. Sometimes it gets a little dull and that infatuation you felt at first will dwindle down but that doesn’t mean you give up on it the second you feel it. If you can do it with the rest of us, why can’t you do it with Y/N? You love us all the same, why can’t that be the same for Y/N? Was your love for her that weak? You know just as well as I do how much patience it takes to break down someone’s walls and the second you feel you can’t do it as easily as you’ve done for the rest of us, you’re willing to back down. You’re pathetic, Kim Namjoon.”

He knows.

He knows he’s pathetic.

But the more he tries, the harder it is, and the more he comes to learn that he can never love you in the same way he used to.

“Joon!”

Even the soft little nickname that always got him to smile no longer works for you and soon the rest of the boys all catch up to it. Fights break out behind your back and the longer this goes on, the more frustrated Namjoon gets.

He hates how pathetic he’s acting, hates the way feelings work, because he tries, he does, but doesn’t try enough to make things work and soon enough, the way the others care for you starts to irritate him as well. He hates how sweet they are towards you, how they defend you every time he has something to say, how he watches their love for you is kept the same and yet his is different.

And most of all, he hates how kind you still are despite knowing Namjoon’s changed.

He knows you know and he hates how you refuse to address it, wanting to believe in the Namjoon you fell in love with. For a while, Namjoon thought that was fine, that if he too refuses to see his changing feelings, he can come to love you all the same again.

But that doesn’t work and his frustrations get the best of him.

“If this continues, I’ll end up lashing out at her.”

He hates the way the others look at him but he deserves it, he knows he deserves it.

“So what? You’re gonna say it’s better to let her go before any of that happens? Before you hurt her? Return her to her father because she’d be happier there than pretend things are going well between the two of you?”

When Taehyung points out those things, Namjoon doesn’t say a word.

He just nods, and that causes another fight to break out.

The tension grows and grows between them, all the while you turn to Hoseok, the only man who’s unaware of what’s going on around him, finding your safe space in him.

Hoseok who doesn’t know a thing. Hoseok who still loves you more than anything else in the world and you, who clings onto his love because everything else seems to be falling apart. But even then, Namjoon sees the way you hide your true feelings from him, not wanting him to worry and perhaps afraid that if he knew, he’d also fall into the tension that has grown between the rest of them.

Namjoon knows how dumb he’s being, that he should try harder but trying harder only makes him grow more irritated, and soon enough he just stops.

Stops trying.

Maybe if he acts differently around you, maybe if he makes you hate him, it’d be easier to let you go. Because that way you can feel better about returning to your father. He’d rather you hate him than hold onto a false hope thinking he could change and revert back to the old him.

He’ll make you hate him and he’ll force you to take the step into calling for a divorce.

The night Namjoon lashes out on you, Taehyung meets him when he slams the door closed on your face, a look of disappointment clear on his face as he bites his tongue back when the two of them meet eyes. Taehyung’s jaw is clenched, hands balled into a fist, trembling by his side as he tries to subdue his emotions.

“A pawn?” He whispers, scoffing at the disgusting words that left his leader’s lips.

Namjoon looks away, chin protruding.

“You have no right, Kim Namjoon. To tell her such things.”

And when your cries echo softly from the other side of the door, Taehyung lets his own tears fall. His eyes redden as he keeps silent, not wanting you to hear a single peep, while he levels daggers into Namjoon’s head.

But the man doesn’t give him a reaction. He turns away and walks off, leaving Taehyung to hear your cries all to himself.

He stays there for the longest time, listening to you from the other side of the door, keeping himself concealed, hidden, despite his body screaming at him to rip open that door and hold you tightly. All the noises that leave your lips tears him down to pieces.

He hates it most when you cry, hates your tears, your broken state, and he hates himself most of all for just staying there stoned to the floor, not making a single move to walk towards you or away.

He just stays there, listening to the broken record that falls from you, left damaged by Namjoon’s words.

It is until two hours pass does Taehyung actually make a move. You’d gone silent an hour ago but he knows that in spite of your silence, you still cry. That’s just how you are. You hate making the slightest peep when you cry, hate it when others hear you even if no one’s by your side.

You hide all that you are even while basking in your own comfort.

So when Taehyung’s absolutely sure you’ve fallen asleep from all that crying, he opens the door to your bedroom and walks in to find you sitting against the wall, head leaned to your right where the bookshelf lies, eyes shut closed with faint dry tears marking your cheeks.

He steps in and takes a seat before you, watching as you breathe in and out, chest heaving slowly and peacefully. Taehyung lets his tears fall silently for you, hating every moment of this, and finally gets up to pick you up in his arms.

He settles you into your bed carefully and thoughtfully, making sure you’re comfortably tucked in, and just as he’s about to move away, he feels a tug pulling him back in and Taehyung freezes.

For a moment there his heart skipped a beat, worried you had woken up from him moving you around, but when Taehyung looks back to see that your eyes are still closed, his heart only tugs with an ache.

Look at you, clinging to his warmth even in your dreams, as if a second longer without them brings a second more pain into your life and he knows, he knows that he’s hurting you. He knows that you spend nights after nights worried about how strong their love is for you, about being a burden, about not being enough, and so he hates himself most of all for not being the one to soothe those insecurities of yours away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers brokenly when he leans in and presses a kiss to your cheek. A teardrop escapes his eye, dropping onto your precious skin, and Taehyung cries a little more while trying his best to keep as silent as possible.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, he says them in his head, worried you may wake up and pray that you can hear them in your dreams.

He kisses you a few times, delivering apologies after apologies, knowing that no matter how many times he utters them, they will never be enough. Nothing will ever be enough.

When Taehyung leaves your room after some time, he takes another moment to himself right there in front of your bedroom door, and grabs a handful of his shirt to wipe the tears from his eyes, all the while knowing that sharp aching pain in his chest will never cease.

Someone’s footsteps are heard and when he looks up, he finds Jimin in the shadows of the darkness.

They don’t say a word to one another but Taehyung sees the way water glimmers in his soulmate’s eyes.

Five minutes.

It takes five minutes for Jungkook to make sure you aren’t returning for him to release his gun and slam it harshly to the ground.

It smashes into pieces with a loud sound but he doesn’t care. All he cares is for the hurt on your face he’s sure was there when he kept his back on you, speaking in short and blunt words to make you turn away from him.

The door is closed after you left but one look at the sandwich you left behind makes a tear fall from his eye.

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” you told him, voice kept kind and gentle yet he heard the restrain, the way you were holding yourself back from him. You wanted his attention, his soft smile, his words of affirmation, to stop focusing so much on his targets and turn around to provide you with his full attention in the way he’s always done.

But Jungkook had only hurt you and forced you out the door.

“What does loyalty mean?” He asks Seokjin later that day, eyes hard and demanding after walking in through his door without so much of a greeting, but Jungkook doesn’t care. “If I betray this gang, will I have to pay with my life? Will you kill me?”

The eldest hovers his pen in mid-air, silent.

“I know I owe him my life, he’s done so much for me and I love him but…” His voice threatens to fall apart, jammed against his throat, but Jungkook swallows hard to speak again. “I love her too, hyung.” He lets out a shaky breath and tears fall. Tears only seem to be falling these days. “It isn’t fair, hyung, can’t you say something? Anything? He listens to you, can’t you do something? You still love her, don’t you? If you say something that’ll make him change his mind, we’ll be okay again and we won’t have to risk Y/N—”

“You know just as well as I do Namjoon does not change his mind once it’s made up.”

Jungkook chokes on his tears because he knows. He knows nothing can be done.

Namjoon has fallen out of love and the rest of them has to pay the price.

“It isn’t fair what we’re doing to her, hyung, can’t you see? I don’t want her to hate me and I don’t want to hate her. Why do we have to hurt just because things stopped working out for him? Why do we have to hurt her too?”

“Jungkook–”

“If this was another life, if I was an ordinary man,” he grits his teeth, staring hard at his eldest hyung, “I’d choose her in a heartbeat.”

Seokjin can say nothing to that.

In another life, Jungkook would make you his number one priority. In another life, Jungkook would make sure you were his first choice.

Because in this life you will always come second to Namjoon whether he wants that or not. In this life, he has to choose Namjoon, in this life he chose Namjoon first so he can’t choose anyone else.

Polyamory shouldn’t be this hard. It was working out well for them without any problems in between so why did something have to start going wrong when you came along? You’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve done all that you could, but now your biggest insecurity is biting back at you and there’s nothing Jungkook can do to change that.

He can’t choose you.

Jungkook cries that night, hard, and punches Namjoon against his chest because he doesn’t want to let you go. He loves you and he hates that he’s forced into a position where he has to choose between you and Namjoon.

For them, for the boys, that choice will always be Namjoon.

Because Namjoon was there first and Namjoon is their boss. Choosing between a woman of another gang and the man who leads your gang will only lead you down one road.

An illusion of free choice.

Because loyalty to the mafia comes first. Without the mafia, they have nothing.

“Why, why, why?” Jungkook pleads in a broken voice, the punches he gives out weakening by the second and Namjoon stands there, taking it all in.

They hate it.

They hate it because you’ve voiced your insecurities before. Your insecurities about being a second choice, being left behind, and not being enough for them. You will always be enough for them, always, but when it comes to having to choose between their mafia and you, you will always be the second choice.

“Then…let’s divorce.”

Three words.

Gentle eyes.

A kind smile.

Breaking.

Broken.

They broke you.

“You’re okay with this?” Hoseok sits against a wall, his head lowered with no energy left in him as he asks Yoongi that question.

The room remains quiet for the longest time as Yoongi holds his breath and Hoseok sits there, the fight in him slipping away as tears fall from his eyes, hidden through the darkness of his hair. Yoongi can tell he’s crying with the way his shoulders trembles and it’s a sight that breaks him.

A sight that hurts him.

“I thought you loved her, hyung, I thought…I thought that we…that…” The lump in his throat makes it hard for him to make out proper words and while Yoongi tries to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder, Hoseok only shakes it off with a forceful flick, not wanting his sympathy. “You’re a coward,” he utters with disgust as he takes a stand, refusing to meet him in the eyes. “Just because we weren’t legally married to her doesn’t mean it’s okay to let her fall victim to Namjoon’s abuse. You think you’re not bad? That it’s easier to forgive you because you didn’t do anything?”

He scoffs, laughing bitterly. “No hyung. It’s because you didn’t do anything that probably drove her to end things. Am I good enough?” He quotes your thoughts, uttering them clearly for Yoongi to hear every word. “Did I do something wrong? Was it something I did? Why won’t they look at me? Why won’t they care for me? They still love me, right? Everything’s my fault, isn’t it? Namjoon doesn’t like me but they still do, right? They still care, right? Ah, but if they do then that means I’m forcing them to choose between me and Namjoon. Who will they choose? They’ll choose Namjoon because they loved him first. They love him. They love Namjoon. Namjoon. Namjoon. And I will always be their second choice.”

Hoseok pushes Yoongi out of anger, hating every bit of this as more tears fall, his rage getting the best of him. “How dare you let her biggest nightmare come true? Made her think she would always be our second choice?”

“Hoseok—”

“While I laid there on the hospital bed thinking everything was fine, that everything was perfect and everything was good, you could’ve done something. Y/N wasn’t ever going to tell me anything no matter how much I begged it out of her. She was hurting and yet she always smiled my way, pretending all was okay and you know what’s crazy? How convincing she was.”

You just missed him, you’d tell him, that you were worried about his injuries hurting him and while a part of that must’ve been true, Hoseok knows damn well it wasn’t all of your worries.

You lied to him and he couldn’t see through those lies. Just what else were you hiding from him? What else did you hide under that perfect dollhouse smile? Living in a world that looked so perfect, filled with so many beautiful things, of sunshine and rainbows, with nothing but laughter and a sweet smile. You filled his world with warmth, with so much care and patience, always knowing just what to do when things weren’t right, when things went wrong.

You always knew.

Always knew whenever his smile was fake, when he felt as if the world was caving in, when he’d brave himself and put on a facade that would fool millions.

Among the seven billion people that live on this earth, you’re the only one who always knew the second something was wrong with him and in turn, Hoseok fell blind to your own sufferings, to your hurting, to your pains.

He thought he knew you best but he didn’t.

He never did.

I’m tired, you told him, and Hoseok’s eyes blind with tears as he looks up at his hyung, a fist ready to land right upon his face if it weren’t for someone holding him back.

Yoongi would have let him punch him but Jungkook doesn’t.

“Hyung, stop,” the youngest one says in a plea as he forces Hoseok away with a protective stance before the older one.

Their eyes meet and Hoseok knows. Hoseok knows he can’t let his rage blind him into hurting his loved ones so he takes a step back, punching the wall instead.

“Hyung-!”

“How did she look, Jungkook?” He turns to him with a force, hand trembling, knuckles bruised as blood drips from his ripped skin.

“Hyung..”

“Tell me, Jungkook. How did she look?” He asks again with a little more force, teeth gritting. “When you forced her to her breaking point, when you stood there doing nothing but watched on, not caring to do a single thing to help her out? How did she look when she took off her wedding ring and said she wanted a divorce? I know you were there,” he takes a glance at Yoongi, “both of you. All of you.” He glances back at Jungkook, jaw clenched tightly as he demands an answer.

The younger one averts his gaze to the floor, biting onto his lower lip as he usually does when he’s trying to remain calm over his emotions. He can feel the tears coming when he remembers your face.

Your precious, precious face.

So broken and defeated.

“She smiled,” he says and Hoseok’s face crumbles.

His lips quiver as he turns back to the wall, punching and punching.

“Hyung, stop! Please!”

Even as Jungkook tries to pull him back, Hoseok pushes him off aggressively. “You don’t deserve to cry, Jungkook!” He shouts with so much emotions it breaks them both. “You don’t deserve to regret it now. Not now, not when everything’s done and over with. It’s too late to cry now. It’s too late to feel guilty for what you’ve done.”

He rips his gaze from the tears that fall down Jungkook’s cheeks, looking away from the both of them as he hits his forehead against the wall. The punches that follow weaken and even with the pain he feels from his knuckles, Hoseok knows it’ll never hurt more than how much they’ve hurt you.

He breaks down again for the hundredth time that day, strength falling weak. “You could’ve done something but you didn’t,” he whispers, his voice trembling. “You could’ve…you could’ve saved her. I love her so, so much. How could you do that to me? To her? How could you…?”

When Yoongi cries, he does it softly and quietly and keeps it to himself. He doesn’t like bothering people, doesn’t like the attention and questions that he earns from people when they do see him cry because he’ll never know what to say.

He hates explaining himself and would rather be invisible to the world than anything else in those moments.

He’s usually good at hiding it when he’s cried. He’ll put on a straight face and pretend those past few minutes of shedding tears were nonexistent, but for some reason, someone always manages to see right through him.

“Hyung?” Hoseok will ask after him but Hoseok isn’t here to look out for him now. He’s got his own tears to worry about.

“Yoongi?” And you’re gone.

Gone from his life because he’s pushed you away and didn’t do anything to stop you.

You’re gone, no longer there to collect after his tears.

“I thought you loved her.”

He did. He does. He does.

But Hoseok’s right; he could have saved you. He could have done something, to have done anything, to have at least made it hurt less, to have protected you from Namjoon’s anger. He could have shielded you from such words that had broken you to pieces but his negligence and the way he left you to deal with everything all on your own had only hurt you more.

He broke you.

Hoseok’s right. He might not have been the one who had broken you down with crude words but he’s still part of the reason you were driven down the edge of the cliff. He’s just as bad, just as bad as Namjoon, and shedding any tears now, regretting anything now is meaningless.

You’re gone.

“Do you love me?” Jimin asks, his voice small and quiet.

“I love you,” Namjoon nods.

He falls silent, eyes still in his lap as he refuses to look up. Namjoon doesn’t know what to say nor does he know what Jimin’s trying to say but still he waits there, patient enough to sit through however long it will take for Jimin to speak again, even if that means missing his meeting.

“Do you love me the same as the day you fell in love with me?” Jimin asks as if that had been the question he was meaning to ask all along.

“I do,” Namjoon answers. “Though if anything, I probably love you more than that day.”

“Ah.” Jimin nods, falling silent once more, and when he speaks again, his voice is softer, weaker, as if afraid to offend his lover but at the same time, knowing he has to say it. “Then why couldn’t it be the same for her?”

Her.

You.

Namjoon’s heart aches when he hears Jimin sniffle.

“Why couldn’t…why couldn’t you love her all the same? I…I was so cold to her.” His voice breaks, trembling. “I ignored her when she sought for my attention, for my love, and despite how many times I pushed her away, she still pressed on a smile as if saying that she understood because I was busy. I wasn’t busy, hell if she asked, I’d stop everything just to spend more time with her — she doesn’t even have to ask and I’d do it in a heartbeat. And yet…yet I…”

“Jimin..-”

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes though he feels no courage to wipe the tears that have fallen, knowing only more was to come. “I’m sorry, Namjoon, I know I can’t force your feelings to change but I…I just…I wish things didn’t end like this. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Namjoon. I’m so, so sorry.”

Sorry for loving you, for choosing you.

Namjoon knows he doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve Jimin’s apology. But as he sits there before the younger man, his voice refuses to leave his throat as he watches him break before him, tears falling, head refusing to even look up at him.

They love him and they chose him but in the end, they will always love you.

Why did he stop loving you?

Why did he have to break them like this?

“Do you think I’m selfish?”

Seokjin stops in his tracks just as he was on his way out, pausing to turn around and look at the man who sits alone in his chair, eyes distant as he stares blankly at nothing before him, head in a space elsewhere.

“Yeah,” the eldest admits without a thought and although Namjoon knows just how true that is, it still hurts to hear the truth. “I love you, Namjoon, but…do you really have no remorse?” Seokjin steps over towards him, eyes never leaving as he awaits the answer to his question.

“You know more than I do feelings are things that can never be forced,” Namjoon responds robotically.

“That may be true but that doesn’t mean what you did was right.” He places his papers onto the desk, lips pressed into a straight line. “Hoseok refuses to even look at us and the others…they aren’t doing well. Jungkook has gone completely silent, Taehyung refuses to leave his lab, Jimin doesn’t smile anymore, and Yoongi almost got himself killed the other night because he couldn’t focus. Did you really want Y/N to hate us that much? So that it’d be easier for her to leave? From what I saw, it didn’t look easy in the slightest for her.”

When Namjoon doesn’t say anything, Seokjin continues with his voice slowly growing strained as a lump grows in his throat, threatening to hide his voice, threatening to break. He presses on. “I put up with your play because between you and her, the only choice I could choose was you. This life has tied us down together, I have nothing if I leave the mafia. We owe you our lives and loyalty to the gang comes first and foremost but if I was a normal man who didn’t kill for a living, who do you think I would have chosen in that case?”

Namjoon remains silent upon those words.

“You thought you’d do all that you could to make her hate you because then it’d be easier for her to leave that way? Namjoon, can’t you see? Y/N could never hate you no matter what you do. She loves you too much for that. And yet you forced her to rip that ring off her finger.”

“If she stayed…I would have forced the six of you into a hard place.”

He knows. Seokjin knows.

Namjoon falling out of love would have broken the relationship either way and inevitably force them to pick a side. Allowing you to leave was him making their choice a little easier because they would have inevitably chosen to stay with him.

Loyalty to the mafia comes first.

Loyalty.

But, “That doesn’t mean she deserved what we did to her.”

“...I know.”

It takes a lot for someone like Seokjin to cry. Out of all the members in the group, no one has ever seen him shed a tear and he intends to keep it that way.

So when night falls and no one is by his side, Seokjin leaves the sanctuary of Bangtan’s manor and goes on a long, long drive down a road that never seems to end. Everything is silent when he stops in the middle of nowhere, eyes staring blankly at the stars against the horizon before him.

He remembers one specific night when he thought everyone was asleep, when he thought he was safe all to himself, only to hear a small little voice reaching out to him when he was on his way out the door.

“Seokjin?” You called unto him sweetly, a small croak in your voice indicating that you had just woken up. You rubbed your fists against your eyes, an action that caused him to immediately walk over to grab your hands away.

“What’re you doing up in the middle of the night?” He had asked. This was a year ago when things were okay, when things weren’t falling apart.

“I think I woke up because..hm…someone feels a little lonely tonight.”

“You?”

“You,” you said, eyes looking up right at him and for a second there Seokjin felt as if you had seen right through him, as if your eyes were magic and could see a portal right into his soul. He tried to shake it off, not wanting to make it a big deal, but you asked if you could go with him on the drive instead, refusing to let him be.

There was a gentle smile resting on your face as if you knew, as if all the parts of him that he was hiding from you and the members were unveiling just by a single look from you. He allowed you to ride along with him but kept silent and you basked in that silence, not uttering a single word to push him through anything he didn’t want to say.

No one’s ever seen Seokjin cry but he’s seen you cry before, lots and lots of times. And that night, you cried again right before him when he spoke the tales of his past, the life he lived before he met Namjoon, of the little boy he was who had been exploited by the people around him as if he was nothing but a living doll who had no control over his fate.

You cried hard, words choked up against your throat when you tried to say something until it got too much you resigned to just crying.

“I’m sorry,” you said, as if you were the one who had put him in such a situation, as if you were the goddess of fate that had led him to lead such a life.

In the middle of the night with nothing but the light of the stars up above shining your ways, he held onto you as you cried for him, cursing at the world for hurting the little boy that he was and for putting him through so much.

But he reassured you that he was okay now, that he didn’t have to dwell on the past anymore because he was saved. Namjoon saved him, took his hand, and gave him the life he so deserved from the very beginning.

Namjoon saved him.

Namjoon.

“Please.” The image of you kneeling on the floor flashes in his mind. Your broken voice, desperate and craving for the warmth they once so effortlessly gave you. “Please, I...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

A tear falls from Seokjin’s eye, and when one falls, another follows along until the whole dam breaks and there’s nothing he can do to stop them.

He loves you.

Seokjin loves you so much.

But does he really deserve to say any of that now after tearing you down to pieces?

It was a rough, rocky road. Everything fell apart after the divorce and Namjoon took all the blames for it because he knew everything was his fault; Jungkook and Yoongi’s insomnia, Taehyung being holed up in his lab refusing to speak, Jimin’s silence, Seokjin’s anger, and Hoseok’s pains and distance.

They fell into a place darker than the depth of the ocean and Namjoon himself could feel just how different things turned out to be after you left.

It was odd how things were okay before you came into the picture but the second you left after making such an impact in their lives, nothing was ever the same again. It was like a piece of them was missing, broken hearts that could never be filled, their souls shattered.

Your smiles, your giggles, your kindness, and your warmth.

All of it was gone.

Even the ones who never fell in love with you in the first place could feel just how empty the mafia came to be after you left. You treated the mafia well, after all, taking the effort in getting to know their names, appreciating them for their works, and greeting them with smiles whenever you got the chance. You made an impact in everyone’s lives and Namjoon took that all away from them.

But regretting was something that could never happen.

He could regret and feel guilty for all he wants, he knows he can never get you back. The contract the two of you made in the lone presence of each other wrote out rules upon never seeing each other again, no matter the circumstances.

You wrote that line yourself and it was probably a way for you to properly heal from them. Seeing them would only hurt you after all, and Namjoon accepted the words of the contract.

He has to abide by them.

Everything was his fault and he could feel the weight of that burden shaking his core. But the boys loved him, they love him.

And because of that, eventually, things came back together.

Piece by piece.

With lots of patience and lots of time.

They grew to forgive him, knew that losing feelings wasn’t something that was under his control, but Namjoon knows a part of them will always resent him for the way he treated you after he gave up on trying to keep the relationship together. You didn’t deserve his heartless actions towards you after all, and Namjoon knows that.

It took Hoseok the longest time to return to their side but he came back.

Eventually.

But while the rest of them came to accept the fact that you’re gone from their lives, Namjoon knows Hoseok still holds onto a small little hope from within.

Because whether it was out of romantic or platonic feelings, Hoseok never stopped loving you.

Hoseok doesn’t look at him the same way but Hoseok still loves him and Hoseok still cares.

And perhaps the reason why Hoseok decided to return to his side is because he knows you would rather it turn out that way than be the reason for their downfall.

Truth is nothing was ever your fault, Namjoon can admit that. He can admit that everything was his fault, that he is all to blame, and that a part of him will always seek for an answer as to why he stopped loving you.

He never meant to, never meant to grow irritated, never meant to get impatient, get angry, upset, and made you out to be the villain when in reality, everything was his fault. He never meant to grow envious of the way you grew up, living a peaceful life adored by your father. You told him that just because you grew up differently from him didn’t mean you didn’t have a rough time and Namjoon knows that.

He knows it in the way you have scars down your back, hidden away from prying eyes. He knows it in the way you present yourself, always kind, always gentle, towards anyone and everyone. He knows it in the way you flinch at guns, when you’d wake in the middle of the night because of nightmares, when you’d silently reach out for a hand to touch you, for arms to caress you. He knows it in the way you hold your walls way up high, always there for others but afraid to let anyone in.

He should have been more patient, should have been more careful, but his restlessness and his greed got the best of him. He wanted to know, to hear, to help, to support, but in doing so, grew impatient and snapped at you.

His excuse was wanting to make you hate him and as a result, hoped to create an easier path for you to walk on when you returned to your father.

But in truth Seokjin was right. He knew, he always knew, that you’d never have it in your heart to come to hate him. You’re too kind for that, too gentle, too forgiving, and too loving.

You loved him too much to hate him.

“Hyung…” He stares at the picture of his precious older brother who in thought still lives and is hidden away somewhere. Namjoon lets a tear slip when he hangs his head, shoulders hunched, elbows resting on his thighs. “Tell me what to do, hyung…”

The only thing that keeps him from feeling too much guilt is the fact that you have a home to return to. A loving father, a loving family, a loving mafia who holds you to a pedestal and would never let anything happen to you.

Bang!

Sweet little Y/N.

Sweet and kind and gentle.

The image shatters like a glass tipped over the table with nothing soft to land on, falling into tiny little pieces with nothing that can be done to put it back to one full glass.

You hold your gun right at him, finger ready to pull the trigger without a blink in the eyes as the roaring thunder pours on and on, the only sound filling up the silence that has walked in.

The loving father that Namjoon thought him to be lies dead on the ground behind you, and the very daughter who, without hesitation, pulled the trigger on, stands before him with eyes he has never seen before.

No light shines in those eyes, not in the way he was used to, as if darkness took control of your heart and snatched away the precious light that once lit up his whole world.

Dead.

What happened to the Y/N he knew?

“I killed him.”

I killed him.

I killed him, I killed him, IkilledhimIkilledhimIkilledhim.

The brother he loves with all his heart, the brother who stood by his side, there from the very moment he came out of his mother’s womb, the one who held his heart, who stood against his father whenever he made a mistake, protecting him, loving him.

The very brother he held onto the hope of finding him someday lost somewhere on this tiny little Earth.

Is dead.

“..When I come back, we’ll take over Bangtan together and lead the gang into a new era.”

“You promise?”

“Mmn, I promise.”

A promise broken. A promise shattered.

“I have a brother. He…he’s missing. I don’t know where he is and I don’t know where he went but he made me a promise that he’d return. I’m saving my seat on the throne for him so that when he returns, he can sit on a chair that’s warm rather than cold.”

“You’re going to give up your seat for him?” You ask, a small little tilt in your head.

“Mmn,” Namjoon nods as a tear slips from his eye. He keeps a pressed smile on his face as he looks back at you who sits right beside him, listening to every word he has to say with much patience and much love. “The throne was rightfully his after all.”

“What will you do when he returns?”

You don’t question his disappearance, you don’t doubt Namjoon when he says his brother will return. It’s been years and those years made his own allies doubt in his words but you, you keep his hopes alive, shining bright in the darkness of the night, without any doubt clouding your thoughts.

You believe that his brother will return to his side and Namjoon smiles just as another tear falls.

“Hmm..I’d love to go on vacation with the seven of you,” he says in a jest, chuckling as he imagines the scene. “Though I’ll probably have to stay a few years to help Jungwon out first, get him adjusted back into Bangtan, let him catch up on everything’s he’s missed in the past few years.”

“And then?”

“And then,” he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in close, “we’ll travel the world, go wherever you’d like.”

“Wherever I’d like?”

“Mmn. Wherever you’d like.” Namjoon looks down at you with a gentle smile as you lean in close to his chest, eyes looking straight up at him. “If you could go anywhere in this world, where would you go?”

“Hmm…” You purse your lips, thinking, but the thought doesn’t stray too far because you’re back to answer him in a heartbeat. “I wanna go where the sun never sets. I wanna go to the Land of the Midnight Sun.”

Namjoon chuckles at your reply because it’s such a you response. You hate the night, you hate the darkness. “Alright,” he says as your hand reaches out to brush away the last of his remaining tears. “We’ll go there,” he promises with a kiss pressed to the tip of your nose. “When my brother returns, I’ll take you there.”

“The day of the incident, I watched him with my very own eyes as life slipped away from him. His eyes were lifeless, dead, a corpse. In the same way I killed my mother and father, I killed your brother as well. The man who cared so much for me died at my very own hands. His death was all..my...fault.”

“Joon!” He hears his brother’s voice in the back of his mind.

“Joon!” He hears your voice in the far, distant memories.

Dead.

They’re both dead.

The brother whom he loved more than anything in this world.

The woman who once held light to his world.

You stand before him without an ounce of emotion on your face, eyes as dead as the night you held onto Seokjin, crying out two single words uttered in a soft, soft whisper.

“Save me,” you said before falling lifeless right before their eyes.

His hands tremble by his side, fingers crawling into a fist, and he knows, he knows he shouldn’t harm you in any way, not after what you’d gone through in London, not after what Leehyung had done to you. He knows, he knows, and yet the rage and anger, the disappointment and hurt he feels overtakes his control and he lunges right at you in a blinding rage.

You killed his brother.

The first man who loved him without an ounce of hatred in his heart, the first man to accept him and welcome him into this world.

You killed his brother.

875 notes · View notes

koqabear · 3 months

Note

Hmmm, I'm really into fantasy. As for groups, I stan a lot (probably too many), so you could recommend any 😭

Also, what do you mean?!😭 Your personality is just so 💜💜💜!! Like I have never admired a stranger so much in my entire life 😭😭😭

-Lvlee

hi loveee !! so as it turns out,,, making a rec list is very hard. very. i've read a lot less fics than i thought omg (which is why all the ones i listed are on the older side LMAO), so i am here with some txt and bts recs 😭 they're mostly supernatural/fantasy, but you can always check out my main blog (@/michipan) if you wanna see anything else!

also 🫠 please.... im sobbing rn u are the cutest ever </3 i am nothing but a silly little normal person i promise

to anyone who decides to check out these recs, pleeeeaaase support the authors!! please im genuinely begging you!!! leave a little review and a reblog and show them love bc they're amazing <3

BTS Recs

☆ Beastly Gods by @lemonjoonah

✧ hybrid!taehyung x fem!reader x ???

wc: 8K // genre: hybrid au, thirller, drama, smut, potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: ‘Don’t leave the forest,’ a rule that you’ve been forced to follow since birth, but you are tired of living in this wooden cage. Out of desperation you cut a deal with Taehyung, who claims to be the only one who can get you out safely, even though he might be just as dangerous as the god you’re trying to escape.

sol's personal notes:

oh. my. GOD. this was one of the first few fics i read when i joined this site, and it's literally stuck with me ever since. i can't say too much about it without spoiling it, but the worldbuilding and pacing was just. immaculate. the storyline is so well done and just. everything about it is perfection omg. there's another part that goes along with this story, but i can't link it bc ofc... spoilers 😖i wish i had more to say about this fic, but i read it years ago and forgot to write a review for it T_T

☆ Treasure by @sombreboy

✧ faerie dragon hybrid!jimin x fem!reader

wc: 4.7K // genre: pwp smut, hybrid, yandere, fairytale, again potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: Jimin loves to collect sparkly riches and playthings. You just happen to be the next treasure that ignited his obsessive desires.

sol's personal notes:

(fucking explodes into a million pieces) i can't. i had to reread this story real quick to get a refresher on it and just. jimin's character in this is literally so perfect and mischievous and evil!! and i love it... <3 he is characterized so well and the descriptions are just so well done... ouuu i just read over the smut again and i teared up a little. the dialogue is genuinely so insane im not normal abt this fic sorry.

TXT Recs

☆ the prince and the jackal by @gyuluster

✧ prince!beomgyu x woodcutter!metalbender!reader

wc: 11.8k // genre: fantasy au, fluff

Summary: in the Kingdom of Terrae, you, a metalbender, believe in the deforestation to modernise the land. As a member of the Lumberjackals, you thrive on cutting down trees and stealing resources until you get caught by the Crown Prince, Choi Beomgyu, a lover and embodiment of the nature you wish to destroy. However, instead of imprisoning you for your crimes, Beomgyu decides to show you the beauty and wonders of nature, leaving you to doubt your beliefs, your identity, and your very feelings for the certain boy determined to change you for the better.

sol's personal notes:

unfortunately the author is no longer active on this account (💔💔💔💔) but like. this story literally changed my brain chemistry i dont think you guys understand. it's been so long since i read this but even so, it lives on in my mind... the world building and characters are so well done and from what i remember, beomgyu's character was literally so charming T_T such a pretty story, i might go reread this bc like... the fantasy was executed so well and i love me a good royalty au <3 not to mention the whole concept of the powers is so cool!

☆ Swimmin' in a Mirror by @bangchanswolfpelt

✧ soobin x2 x fem!reader (stay with me here)

wc: 2.5K // genre: magical school au (not a harry potter au) smut

Summary unavailable.

sol's personal notes:

this one's like a whole 180 from the last fic LMAO but GOOD GOD. this author isn't active anymore from what i know of but like. they were literally revolutionary and this fic is just. never seen anything like this before but )#%(&#%??? it's genuinely so impressive how they managed to pull this off alkghadg so hot so insane so creative

☆ that's the spirit! by @agustdiv1ne

✧ sixth sense/ ghost hunter! soobin x fem!reader

wc: 14.6K // genre: high school au, fluff, angst, some elements of horror

Summary: a couple weeks before halloween, you find the quiet boy from your high school staring up into your bedroom. you're a little creeped out, and miles more scared, but then he shows you something that changes how you see, well, everything.

sol's personal notes:

are we surprised. i don't think so. i literally never shut up about this fic ever like i'm such a sucker for unique stories and this is definitely one of them! the pacing, supernatural elements, and environment was written sooo well, and the worldbuilding and explanations that comes along with the plot is so perfectly executed and well thought out. such a cool story, with a banger playlist to go along with it :]

☆ Dirty Little Secret by @petrichor-han

✧ vampire! yeonjun x gn!witch!reader

wc: 4.0K // genre: angst, dark fantasy, vampire!au, witch!au, enemies to lovers

Summary: yeonjun is one of prince seungmin’s most trusted bodyguards. born as a low-class vampire, he worked his way to the top and is proud of his accomplishments, beginning to adapt his friends’ classist mindsets and forgetting where he came from. but when his brothers come to visit one day, exposing his poor ancestry, everyone turns against him except for one: a lowly servant whom he’d picked on in the past—you.

sol's personal notes:

are you kidding me. DARK FANTASY. yeah that's literally all it took for me to fall in love with this story; the imagery is beautiful and the storytelling is so heart wrenching and good and i am literally clawing at the bars of my enclosure rn btw. this fic is sososo good and i'd literally kill to get another morsel from this universe !

⭒⭒⭒

✧ again, make sure to show all these lovely authors some love!! if any of you manage to see this (unlikely. for the most part) i literally cherish these stories sm and would literally die for them idcidc u guys truly made some masterpieces over here ✧

#i'd definitely like to read more fics #i just never have the time anymore...#it's getting difficult writing as it is lmao #but anyways #i hope you like these >w<#they are my favs #lvlee anon!#koqabear asks #rambles

21 notes · View notes

marvelous-llama · 6 months

Text

BTS recs

<<original book

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

one shots

love me better by @taegularities

Jimin x fem!reader (wc - 36.7k) strangers to lovers, detective AU, PoV change - angst, smut, fluff Park Jimin still remembers you from a fervent night, not expecting in his wildest dreams that you’d join his team to solve the case of the most dangerous thieves in the country. But he soon realises that of all things, you might be the hardest riddle he’s ever had to crack.

Drown With Me by @hoebii

Jimin x fem!reader (wc - 2.9k) lifeguard!Jimin, established relationship - fluff, smut

series

The Iron Ring by @sailoryooons

Jimin x fem!reader (wc - 92.6k) fantasy, enemies/strangers to lovers - angst, smut, fluff After finding a mysterious ring while cleaning out your late grandmother’s attic, you receive the unlikeliest of visitors: a fae prince who claims you have something that belongs to him. Discovering the fairytales your grandmother told you are true is the least of your problems when you’re taken to a world dangerous and unfamiliar.

Rumor Has It by @jananakookie

Jimin x fem!reader (wc - 52.8k) enemies to lovers, fake dating AU - angst, fluff, smut Rumor has it, Park Jimin is single again after his latest girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. Rumor has it, he's willing to get back at them. Rumor has it, you're the perfect means to an end.

#bts #bts x reader #bts recs #jimin #bts jimin #park jimin #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader

26 notes · View notes

therealmintedmango · 1 year

Text

Cerberus - Part Three

Genre: Werewolf/ Shifter AU; Medieval AU; Strangers-To-Lovers AU; Heavy Angst; Soulmate AU; Eventual romance/ smut

Rating: NC 18+, Explicit

Words: 7,396

Pairings: (Eventually) ot7 BTS x Human Female Reader

Warnings: Dark themes; Yandere Vibes; Death; Gore; Murder/ Killing; Dark Dreams; Wolf Centric Chapter

Tag List: (Please notify me if you wish to be added/ no longer want to be apart of the tag list!) @openup-yourmind, @deeepvibes, @xxsunny-side-upxx, @heoniebaby

Cerberus Playlist — Apple Music (Let me know if you have a good song to add to the playlist and I’ll chuck it in there!)

——————-

The hunt is on,

For it is night.

I lurk in the shadows

Under the pale moonlight.

All creatures tucked away in their beds,

Slumber taking its hold and pressing

Down, down, down.

Either a fairytale or a nightmare,

I get to decide,

For you cannot run and

you cannot hide.

Though she does not see me nor sense me,

I can see her sweat and shake,

A virgin so pure and fragile,

I dare not defile.

Not until she is heady and ready,

Shivering in my claws — it’s not too late.

For she is mine.

…Mine…

Mine…!

MINE!

I wake with a fright, my heart is beating viscously, thumping clean out of my soggy skin. I sit up, the bed frame creaking under my movements as I push the heavy sheets to the side. My body glistens, dripping in a hot-cold sweat under the moonlight that baths my room in her silver, pale glow. My nightgown is soaked, covered in my perspiration, the cream-colored silk clings to me for dear life. The hairs around my neck are plastered in place. My breaths come out in heaves, my hands shake with terror.

Shuddering at the nightmare I just had, I stare at the princes’ family portrait as my eyes adjust. There are no teeth here, nor claws—no looming figures that stalk me in the throes of the velvet night. Just seven sets of rust-colored eyes staring down at me. I tear my eyes away and stare at the tree branches outside, there is a heavy fog relaxing among the wood in an eerie cloak, blanketing the night.

I’m awake. I tell myself as I rub my face in my hands, feeling a cold night sweat occur. I am awake and I am alive and that is all that matters. I gulp, trying to regain some composure.

That nightmare was truly hellish.

Twigs snap under my bare feet, branches slice the skin on my face and arms as I race as fast as I can muster. A giant wolf or dog was chasing me deeper and deeper into the bog, the thicket of trees and vines so tall, there was no room for escape as my path came to a dead end. Its eyes a light golden color, its fur shrouded in the night as it hunted me, stalked me like I was pretty prey. The creature snarls, bearing its blinding white teeth, claws like sharp knives ready to pierce my skin raised above me as it let out this feral, ghoulish howl from the depths of its belly. It sounded like it was almost gleeful, a chorus of wailing howls surrounded me, forming a circle of terror with their sunset eyes, fangs, and ferocious sounds. I called for help, for someone to save me, but there was little to be done. Within the next instance, a whole pack of wolves smiled at me as the moon fell from the sky…then they descended upon me.

Then I awoke.

I shudder once more, a ripple of uncomfortable remembering races through my body.

My eyes sweep a glance at the fireplace, the stone hearth is dead, as it is well into the early hours of the morn, not even a peep of the sun shimmering gold and reds on the horizon. No autumn birds sing outside in their nests. All is still in the house and in the wood. I take some deep breaths and try to compose myself, still sitting in the guest room the princes’ have allowed me to reside in.

Why they are so kind and gentle to me, I shall never understand.

My tongue is dry and I long for a glass of water. I have a bell next to my bedside to call upon the staff if I need something, however I like to do things myself, much to the princes’ dismay. Besides, it is far too early to call upon someone at this hour. I shall go to the water pump outside beside the kitchen and fetch myself a glass of water. An easy feat, I tell myself as I slink out of bed.

I quickly light the long eggshell-colored candle in the holder next to my bedside, feeling the cool of the floor under my feet gives some relief to my anxious body. As quiet and gingerly as I can, I open my door and make haste for the stairs. I have been residing in this home for around a month or so and I have gotten to know these halls a fair bit. There is still an air of mystery and glamor to this house, the grounds, and the people inside the walls.

The princes’ all delight in doing various activities with me throughout the week such as poetry reading with Seokjin after breakfast on the days he isn’t taking care of his royal duties. I have noticed his voice and his demeanor change when he reads about romance, which he does not do often…he almost appears wistful. Yoongi likes to play the piano in the study with me, though he is much better than I at the instrument. It is mesmerizing to observe him play such intricate melodies.

Hoseok is particularly active. He delights in taking me for strolls any time of the day and has promised to take me hunting once the ball has come to pass. Namjoon and I discuss various books in the study's library. He has so many first editions to such classic tales—I enjoy his vast knowledge of the world. Maybe one day I will make it out there. Jimin has asked for my opinions on the gardens, though he says they are not fully ready to view and walk through yet. He brings a brand new bouquet to have in my room every fortnight which is incredibly thoughtful.

Taehyung is so fascinating to be around. He is neither too loud nor too quiet, he is neither too sharp, nor too soft. He is so many things and I believe that’s why he paints and creates many things. Jungkook is the biggest enigma out of the family. He does all the things his brothers do, but he is the most secretive by far. I suppose being one of fourteen myself, I understand you are a combination of all good things your siblings are.

Getting to know these princes’ is a touch overwhelming, but it certainly leaves me craving more from our interactions. Those amber eyes they all share bore deep into my skull at times, speaking to me in a language I can’t quite understand.

The wolf decor in the hallway to the dining room catches my eyes and I almost freeze in my tracks, the candle flame flickers as I suck in a tight breath. In my haste to procure some water and my wandering ,rabid thoughts, I have failed a few things: I do not have on the proper attire to be roaming around late at night, I don’t exactly know how to get to the water pump outside, and I haven’t realized just how eerie the castle looks shrouded in the blackness of night. I tear my eyes away from the stone wolf heads and their hollow eyes as I slink through the dining room quickly. The only sound I can hear is the slight crackling of the flame and the soft padding of my feet across the lush carpets and wooden floors.

At last I have reached the kitchens and I know the pump for the water is not far. Dawning on me, I have not seen the space where my food comes from. There are several large hearths for cooking, brick ovens, a pantry that is as long and wide as my room upstairs, cupboards filled with intricate plates and dishes that are in mint condition though they look centuries old. Dried herbs hang along the walls and the counters are so clean, I think to myself as I glide my fingertips across the cool, smooth stone surfaces. It smells of faint spices from last night’s roasted pheasant and slightly sweet from the cranberry pie that was served for dessert.

Mice are maybe quieter than I, but I secure a glass out of the cupboard—one that looks neither too fancy nor too breakable. I am a clumsy fool most of the right time. Never saying the right words or feet tripping over invisible laces.

There is a small door in the corner of the kitchen and a slim hallway one leading to a staircase upstairs to where the staff live, I assume. I gingerly press the wooden door open, fearing I have stumbled onto someone’s living chambers. The wood groans slightly as I push the latch free from its metal confines and I have come this far to give up on my conquest for water. I suck in a breath and close one eye in anticipation, mustering strength up to thrust the door open.

I feel it before I see it. The cold of the dead of night.

Before I go and do anything else brash, I quickly scan the ground around me. I see a singular brick on the ground outside and I place it between the threshold of the door, so I will not be locked out of the castle.

The darkness outside is thick, palpable. The fog is like cold, faint whispers of ghosts floating around my body. A breeze whips up and I clutch my candle close, fearing the yellow flame would be whisked away. I look for the water pump close to the house, wandering along the side of the brick and marble stone. The night air sends a wave of shivers down my spine. It turns my nipples to hard pebbles under my nightclothes. The fog is dense and the night is dark and the little hairs on the back of my neck start to raise in warning. I am determined to find some water, even though I am inching further and further away from the only door I know will grant me entrance into the house.

My body is telling me to run, run far away! Dash away like a mad person! Dash away like you did all those many moons ago!

However, the need for this water to survive is all that is keeping me stitched together at this moment.

To calm my nerves, I hum a tune I have not heard nor sung in years. A lullaby my mother used to sing to me. It’s a relaxing melody, the notes light and sweet. It usually coaxes tears to my eyes, though I cannot be swayed to dwell too much on her memory. The wind and my lullaby are the only things that my ears pick up on.

The little light from my candle finally catches the gleam from the metal pump, glimmering in the tiny glow. I have to make haste I think as I work quickly. I work in a flurry, setting the candle on the edge of the pump and placing the glass right where the water will flow out. I wish not to be out and about on this night any further. The metal groans and sputters awake, cutting the eerie silence wrapped up in the fog of the early morn with a knife. The noise sends a shutter down my spine as I continue to rouse the liquid from the mouth of the water pump. My throat is metaphorically in the middle of a barren desert, sticking to the roof of my mouth, tongue shriveling away placed behind my parched lips.

Something underfoot snaps in the wood close to me as soon as the water springs to life, filling my glass up.

The liquid spurts out, spilling everywhere, dribbling over my cold feet, my dry throat stiff and useless as I cannot even utter a simple whimper. I stop pumping, the groan of the metal pump clunking back into place with a thud. My heart is beating clean out of my chest, a black figure seems to emerge from the shadows; my nightmare is still very prevalent, swimming around in my brain as I nearly pass out from the fright of something lumbering toward me in the throes of the foggy, velvet night. My mind is doing spins, searching for the right thing to do. Do I run? Scream? Do nothing and pretend I don’t exist? Play like I am deceased? My stomach is empty, falling into pits on the frigid ground, my heart pumping blood into my ears.

It looks like a bear? It is very large and lingering, a snarl protruding out of the creature's jaws. No, a dog? I wish to vomit. The thing is stalking the tree line like a wolf—

“Y/N?”

I spin around, nearly tripping over myself, eyes blown out in shock as Taehyung's deep baritone fills the night with its earthy tone and rich timbre. He is in his night clothes, a quizzical expression on his face as he looks down upon me. The second youngest brother’s eyes flit to mine, the water pump and the tree line of the somber wood. Taehyung’s candle is raised to illuminate his strikingly handsome face in the soft golden flickering glow.

“What are you doing out here?” His amber eyes look down at my feet as a smirk dawns his lips. “You have a penchant for being barefoot, I see.”

“Prince Taehyung…” I whisper, my heart still beating rapidly, buried within my chest cavity. A blush blooms over my face. I am now acutely aware he can see straight through my silks, the cool, night air making my chest perky.

After a moment of awkward silence, the dog-creature nearly forgotten, Taehyung says, “I needed a midnight snack and there was a draft in the kitchen. I saw someone propped the kitchen door open and I heard the water being pumped so I came to investigate.” The sixth eldest prince smiles as he regales his discovery of me outside. “Let's get you inside, little bird.” He says softly, picking up my now mostly full water glass. “Hold my night clothes so I shan’t lose you in this thick fog.”

With haste, I do as he commands. Taehyung leads me back through the door of the kitchens and off to bed with a cold glass of water finally.

I miss his expression when we are outside: the way his thick brows are knitted together, eyes wild and unhinged, teeth are bared, gleaming in the glow of the candle and moonlight. This was his way of sending a silent warning to the creature hiding in the fog and tree line.

She is MINE. STAY AWAY.

The early morning hours, where breakfast is served and everyone is flurrying about, are some of my favorite hours here in the Bangtan brother’s castle. I enjoy watching the brothers and staff mingle and mix, the princes’ keeping each other up to date with their lives and what they are going to accomplish each day. It inspired me to rise with them, not only to dine with all seven of them, but to hear what they are working on. It reminds me of my brother’s back home. My chest aches at the thought of them, sadness and misery clutch the edges of my mind and the morning sun rays permeate the curtains in my room.

The ball they hold for their kingdom on the night of the pregnant harvest moon is fast approaching. Not only are the staff deep into preparing, but the princes are as well. Each brother is doing something exquisite and unique which I am looking forward to seeing. Seokjin and Namjoon are splitting the duties of organizing the ball, though Seokjin is focusing on the food mostly and Namjoon is strengthening ties with other kingdoms as each of the neighboring states have been invited as well. Yoongi is taking care of the music; he is out with the Royal Bangtan Orchestra most afternoons, though he always has time to sit in front of the piano with me. Hoseok is handling entertainment like jugglers, fire eaters, and palm readers, which sounds fascinating to me as I’ve never experienced anything like that. Jimin is in charge of the gardens as well as adding impressive bouquets at every table and ropes of bright flowers that line every threshold. Taehyung is taking care of displaying Bangtan’s most eloquent and opulent paintings and statues on display. He is also very concerned about the fashion choices for the ball as wigs are all the rage right now and he wants to impress the crowd with his stylish, yet sensible choices. Jungkook has a surprise happening in the evening when cocktails and dessert is presented and though I press him for information, he holds tight to his secrets, smiling like a smug dog who has just buried a giant bone in the wood for safe keeping.

I’m grateful to them. Amidst the planning and preparation for this ball, they have still kept me in the loop and connected them, nor have they cast me out of their lives. If anything, I feel more entwined with them than at the beginning of my stay. A pang of sour guilt eats at my heart as I dress for the day in a simple, yet chic light blue gown. I hope that my brothers have received an invite and are coming so I can see them again and they will take me home. It’s not that I do not enjoy the company of the princes of Bangtan. Nay. It is the loss of my own thirteen brothers that consumes me, dread prickling my senses, the thought of torture or death backing me into a corner. I feel like a rabid dog, bothering the staff about anyone calling upon me or any letters received in my name. Nothing has turned up, no matter how much I write…or worry…It seems like I am at a stalemate, losing one family and being taken in by another…

I shake my head as I reach the end of the stairs, my stomach growling desperately for food as I try to shake a bad feeling from my mind.

Although I have made it my mission to rise and not waste the precious hours of the day, due to my roaming around before dawn even set in, I overslept. Taehyung gratefully escorted me back to my room last night with my water in hand, though he looked as if he had seen a ghost and barely said anything when we were back inside the castle. I am greeted by a few lingering staff leaving the dining hall in a flurry, concern painting their expressions. It smells of bacon, eggs, mapel, and tension hanging in the air. Wrapped up in my own thoughts, I have missed the angry dialogue protruding through the air. Like a silly moth to a brilliant flame, I am entranced; I wander closer as everyone scurries away from the ruckus.

“WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO? LET THESE DEMONS WIN?! LET THEM DESTROY EVERYTHING WE HAVE BUILT UP?! IT IS UNACCEPTABLE TO LET SOMEONE DIE LIKE THAT, NAMJOON!”

I almost gasp as my fingertips ghost the door to the hall. I have never heard Seokjin speak so angrily to anyone, let alone his brother.

There is a wicked snarl and something is shattered in the room. I recoil with the noise, the shouting and glass breaking reminding me of my father. Since no one else will, I should try and stop their bickering at once I think as I push open the door. I am greeted by Namjoon’s back to me, his large body and posture was menacing. Seokjin’s hair is standing on end, lips pulled back to reveal a set of pearly white teeth. Seokjin deflates when he sees me silently walk into the room, amber eyes that were narrowed and wild locking onto mine, turning into solem orbs at the sight of me.

“WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN HER IN! SHE IS GOING TO BRING NOTHING BUT MISFORTUNE AND DEMONS INTO THIS HOUSE!” Namjoon shouts. He then turns once Seokjin looks away shamefully, nodding to me frozen behind Namjoon.

They are talking about me.

Tears well in my ducts instantly, I bite my bottom lip to keep from crying in front of the princes. My heart dies and falls into my stomach, my throat feels tight, and I desperately wish I was anywhere but here. I wish I were millions of miles away from this place and all the gloom I carry around with me.

Namjoon sags, looking terribly remorseful, lifting his hands to reach out to me. “Y/N…”

I flinch away from his outstretched hands.

“I apologize, dear princes.” I whisper the words out as I turn to leave, throat going hoarse. “I-I never realized what a burden I was here. I-I-I will leave at once!”

“No!” Seokjin and Namjoon both yell, but it was too late.

I fled out of the dining hall and into the grand entrance of the building, running outside. I let my feet guide me as salt tears blurred my vision, the bottom of my gown was ruined as it was getting stained by the mud my boots were kicking up. Me. They were arguing about me. I choked on a sob, strangling my throat. I didn’t realize I was such a burden. Of course I am. I am doing nothing but pestering them, eating their food, and staying in their home for nothing in exchange. I ran into the hedge maze winding round and round until I was so utterly lost and exhausted, I took rest at the closest gazebo I found.

Stupid! I chastise myself. Stupid girl! Of course you are a burden! Your whole life you have been a burden! You make messes and hope that someone will come along and clean it up for you!

More tears and cries fill the space in the garden as I replay the short portion of conversation I heard between the two brothers. My heart is breaking. I should have never been so reckless with their kindness. They have done more than enough for me and I should never have overstayed like I have. Though I am feeling more comfortable everyday in the Bangtan castle, this is not my home.

I watch a monarch butterfly flit and flounce through the air once my tears have ceased. The autumnal butterfly’s wings beat like it is trying to get away from something, moving frantically up and down, then side to side. It carries itself past me, turning to me briefly as if to say RUN and I have an unnerving feeling looking at the beautiful creature.

A sinister feeling crawls up my spine…The same eerie and odd one I got last night…As if I was being watched…My eyes blow wide as I quietly scan the spot I am sitting upon. There is no movement in the hedges, no autumn breeze or sway of the foliage, the garden is silent. No movement is heard from any discretion, but I feel like I am being stalked. I am isolated out here in the garden; who will save me if I am in danger? I shake my head slightly. I am no one else’s burden. I have to save myself. All the baby hairs on my body stand though I cannot bring myself to stand. I am tired physically and frozen to the spot on the shaded gazebo spot in terror. My heart is beating when I hear a slight rustle coming from behind me. Do I dare look?

A head pops out from behind a tall, lush hedge and I nearly scream. The fifth eldest amber eyes lock on to my wide orbs at his sudden appearance. Jimin is like an air elemental, I never hear him coming; he is silent, cunniling deadly, or fragrant and sweet, but he can be boisterous and whipped up into a tornado if provoked unfathomably. I have only seen him act that way to Jungkook though when they spar in a wrestling match.

“Y/N?” Jimin smiles as he sees me sitting under the gazebo. “What are you doing out here?” His golden, amber eyes really drink me in as he approaches, seeing the sorry state I find myself currently in. His eyes flick to something behind me as he takes my hand in his suddenly, pulling me promptly up, his puffy lips moving into a tight-lipped frown. Jimin’s presence calms me down immediately, though his worry still makes me slightly concerned. “Come now, you have somewhere to be soon, though it is a surprise.” He says in his feather-soft voice as he leads me away.

I give a chaste look over my shoulder to find the butterfly floating down and landing in the spot I was just in.

—

“It is a marvelous day to go to town, wouldn’t you say so, Y/N?” Seokjin says as we step out into the busy and boisterous town in the middle of the afternoon. He takes my gloved hand as I step from the royal carriage.

“It is, yes, your majesty.” I say, gingerly avoiding puddles of water or urine on the cobblestone pavement. I could not discern what was what.

Seokjin apologized profusely for the outburst I witnessed from earlier in the day. He was extremely sorry (I thought I caught a glimpse of a tear swimming in his golden eyes) and he vowed to repay me by taking me to a surprise. On the way here, I knew we were headed to the dressmaker as she lives in the south-east side of Bangtan. I easily accepted his apology for I knew how remorseful and ashamed he was for his behavior and words. Seokjin explained how they all voted to have me stay at the castle and Namjoon was really the only one against it. He was worried I would bring a kingdom of angry citizens and an army of guards to them. It was nothing more than worry and concern coloring his view of me and a potential situation I’ve put them all in. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still, I felt more like a burden to them now more than ever.

During my stay in the Bangtan castle, I told them about some of my past and only that I’ve run from an abusive and oppressive kingdom. No lies, but not half truths. I am not ready to admit to any person that I am a murderer. That I’ve killed my own father at that…

“Paisley, will you escort Y/N inside, please? And give Madam Hwasa this to settle the payments.” Seokjin handed her a fat velvet bag full of jingling gold coins. Paisley, one of the staff I have become closer over the weeks with, has come along as our chaperone. Though, I suspect part of the reason she is here because she fancies Jongbak, the footman.

“Yes, your majesty.” She says softly as she ushers me into the dressmaker.

Madam Hwasa barely says a word as we enter. She is older than me, I gather, but not by much. She has a face that is ethereal and otherworldly, dazzling to look at, though she always seems so sad. It is as if she is waiting for a lover to return to her forlorn heart and she speaks in a meak manner. The princes have taken me to her twice now as they did not have too many spare clothes lying about fit for a woman. They say she only apprenticed for only a year before she took over for the master dress designer because she was so talented. They say her silks and fabrics have magic in them.

Paisley hands her the sack of cash and I am once again whisked away behind the dressing room curtains. She undresses me in a flash, the garments protecting me from the autumn cold are stripped from my body—my undergarments stay as I await Madam Hwasa to return. She works quickly and quietly, her small fingers working with haste in an expert fashion.

A slight chill runs down my spine down into my stockings. I feel like I am being watched again, but Paisley has stepped out of the enclosed curtain room. It’s just me, my garments, a chair, and a half-circle of mirrors. The little hairs on my neck stand at attention, the eerie, aching chill blooms throughout my body making me shiver. Jeonghan had told me that spine shivers are caused by people in the future stepping on your grave. I wrinkle my nose in disgust. What a terrible thing to think about.

I fold my arms across my chest in a protective stance, my senses are on high alert since last night. Dreams were the windows into your soul, were they not? Why was I dreaming about dogs or wolves or beasts? What about the creature last night, out in the fog, stalking the tree line? And what about those teeth, those claws….and those golden eyes—

“You have the mark of a demon.”

“Pardon me?” I turn around in shock as Madam Hwasa floats into the room behind me silently. I hadn’t even heard the curtains flutter or the floorboards. She has a cream colored garment with gold and silver gemstones in a dazzling display which swirl and cascade down the luxurious fabric. Since I’ve been here before, she knows my measurements and with her skill I doubt she’ll need any adjusting as she is excellent with her craft.

“The mark of a demon is there,” she raises a beautiful, long finger to the middle of my back, “in between your shoulder blades.”

I look down sheepishly. This is the bane of my existence, this off-colored mark that stains my skin. My mother had it too. She said it was good fortune —in the shape of tiny bird wings. Yet another thing of my skin that isn’t mine but, in fact, belongs to someone else. “Tis’ only but a birthmark, ma'am.” I mumble.

“I never noticed before.” She almost snickers. “And your clothes are filthy! You smell like those mutts!” She snaps her fingers and I place my arms straight above my head.

“Pardon me, ma’am?” I stammer as she wastes no time throwing the heavy ballgown over your shoulders. It had no sleeves and showed off my whole collarbone and the top of my chest. My eyes pop open. This was quite a daring garment, but it was beautiful, with the crystals placed so delicately and perfectly, it hugged my torso until the middle of my rib cage, fanning out in lush plumes of fabric—I looked like a fallen star. “Madam, I am sorry? I do not touch the hunting dogs per the princes’ requests—“

“You are a foolish girl if you cannot figure out what your dreams are and what I am telling you.” She snides as she ties me into the dress. Dreams? Demons? That’s twice today each has been mentioned. My tongue runs dry.

I was not only astonished by how I looked but by how Madam Hwasa was speaking to me.

Madam Hwasa clicks her tongue as she stalks me in a circle, eyes running up and down my body. “Watch out for those wolf boys. They are going to gobble you up.” Her eyes narrow, her stare catching mine like blazing fire. I am not sure she approves of what she is seeing though her fixation gives me a sense that she is challenging me.

“Madam, you are frightening me.” I whisper as I notice I was trembling. Was it anger or terror? Mortification or loathing? I wasn’t quite sure. Another woman had never spoken to me in such a manner, so direct, so merciless. “I need to go.” I look at myself in the mirror and my ducts are pricked with tears, my arms limp at my sides.

“My apologies Lady Y/N.” She clicks her tongue once more and pulls her long gaze away from mine. “You are going to be a beautiful, dangerous creature when you bloom into your full potential.”

I haven’t a clue what she means and my face twists in shock.

She calls Paisley in and they reformat me back in my original frocks and skirts. Under Madam Hwasa’s cold stare and long fingers, I feel more exposed now than when I was in that dress or standing in my undergarments. Madam Hwasa packs my ballgown and hands it to Paisley who share the unit exchange of fingers slinging over one another and long eyelashes fluttering and mouths curling up in shy smiles in the afternoon sun.

Maybe I am a demon for I don’t believe anything like that will ever happen to me. I am a burden and an annoyance. To my mother, my father, my brothers, and now the princes I live with.

Prince Seokjin steps out of the carriage and escorts Paisley and I back inside as we are whisked away from the dressmakers shop. She waves as we drive off, I see her as I am facing backwards. A cat-like grin spreads across her lips and I swear her sad eyes suddenly flash a brilliant green-yellow color.

“How did you like your outfit for the ball? Was it to your liking?” The princes asks like an eager puppy would, wide eyed and excited.

“It was very marvelous, indeed. Thank you for such a lovely dress, your majesty.” I replied in earnest because I truly felt that way.

“Nothing but the best for our little bird.” I flush at his words and Paisley looks at me out of the corner of her eye and I try not to be smitten lava with his nickname for me.

I have an uneasy feeling as Seokjin prompts Jongbak to stop for a stroll at the park in the middle of town. The park is massive and reminds me of paintings and books as it looks like it shouldn’t belong in the middle of town. There is a crystal clear river that runs through, with exquisite bridges, intimate gazebos, and lush gardens to boot.

The eldest prince sticks out his elbow for me to take as we meander through the gardens. I take it and he carries me through the park. Paisley and Jongbak stay by the carriage, no chaperone needed in such a large, populated space.

I still feel like my stomach is in knots and I am having trouble finding the words, but Seokjin’s presence is calming me down. It is hard to feel unnerved with such a fine gentleman with me though. Prince Seokjin is tall, handsome, a great conversationalist, compassionate yet he has a wit and hilarity to him that makes him all the more charming. He was the full package and I would have loved to see him when he was but a young lad. Men bow and ladies curtsy when they see him; they light up like fireflies in June under a full moon when they come upon him. He greets everyone yet keeps conversation with me, smiling. His amber orbs sparkle when he tells a tasteful joke about a gentleman caravan and I give him my full laugh from my belly, though it is undignified for me to make such a noise.

“Pardon me, your highness!” I say breathlessly, still laughing at his nonsensical story as we come to the edge of a gorgeous bridge across the river. “My apologies for producing such boisterous noise!”

“Do not fret.” He simpers down at me, the shadow from his top hat blocking the brilliant sun. “Little bird, my favorite part of my day is when I get to see you smile. You are unraveling more and more every day.”

Immediately my cheeks blaze at his words and his stare.

I remember the look Paisley and Jongbak share and for one fleeting moment, I could have sworn he looked at me with half-lidded bedroom eyes.

“Your majesty, good afternoon.” Voices like silk and honey call behind us.

I turn, breaking the hold I had on Seokjin as the prince almost stands in front of me. “Good day, ladies of Twiceland.” Nine beautiful goddess-like women in brilliant colored dresses simper, glowering down at us as they make their descent on the bridge.

“Where is your pack?” A tall one questions in blue. “Your wild and untamed brothers?”

“What brings you to our kingdom?” Seokjin ignores her being as polite as he can, though his tone is short and curt.

“Is this your ward?” One with doe-eyes and a bright pink smock coos at me. They snicker as I introduce myself much to Prince Seokjin’s dismay.

“Yes, indeed. She is a guest of Clan Bangtan and will be treated as such.” Prince Seokjin is seeming to lose his cool with these vibrant women and I can see why. They are relentless. “If you will excuse us, we were just leaving; on our way home for dinner.”

“Careful, Lady Y/N.” One with a square jaw and short hair giggles as Seokjin takes my arm as lightly as possible, ushering me away from these strange women with haste. “Be wary of beasts such as canines!” They cackle as we rush away, returning to the carriage in a strained silence that has not happened to me since my arrival in this kingdom.

My head is dizzy and my breath is coming out in short bursts. I look at Prince Seokjin and he looks like he is absolutely seething. His aura is dark, nasty hornets shaken and enclosed in a glass container.

As we make our way home, the sun setting, casting the land in a luscious orange and yellow. The castle is far from the town, rich, thick wood surrounds the grounds, encasing the large mansion in its own halo of trees and thickets. glow I hear the call of a lonesome wolf. Fear pricks at my heart and I clutch my skirts. “Everyone keeps mentioning dogs and wolves to me, your majesty. It is frightening to me.” I open once more to the prince who looks startled across from me.

I know I can trust him, I feel it in my marrow and sinew. With my whole beating heart and fizzing brain I know I can trust Seokjin.

“Little bird.” Concern colors his tone as he gingerly places his large, warm hand over mine. “Canines, specifically wolves, is our family animal.” He taps the metal wolf on his chest. “It is our crest. Canines have been intertwined for thousands of years with the family members of Bangtan. If someone says something about dogs or wolves, they are referring to us as a form of insult.”

I nod my head. That does make sense I suppose.

“Nothing will ever harm you.” He gently squeezes my hand. “I promise you. All seven of us will do everything in our power to keep you safe.”

I say nothing but give him a wry smile in which he returns with a beautiful smile that makes my heart throb, trapped in my chest.

——-

I did not go to dinner. I need to apologize to her earnestly. My outburst was childish and uncalled for. Hoseok and Yoongi reprimanded me, sparing in wolf form. Though I am the bigger out of the two, they always win. Pinning my neck just so. I shall be licking my wounds, physically and emotionally, for a long while. It wasn’t right. I let my emotions win like the terror I am. I am more calm than this. I chastise myself as I emerge from the wood. But still….I cannot help the way I feel!

My mind wanders to her lashes, her voice, the way she is soft, yet powerful. She is full of potential, a most excellent queen if she only opened her eyes a little more. Does she see that we hang on her every whim? Her every desire? If only she just picks one of us…What we wouldn’t do for her…

I find her in my study an hour after dinner should have dispersed. She has fallen asleep reading a book about wolves in my favorite red velvet armchair. I give a soft snort as I stalk closer to her quietly as not to disturb her. Her chest softly rises and falls, her cheeks flushed with sleep.

Stooping down, I inhale her scent from the top of her head. Fresh elderberry and sunflower. How badly I want to mark her. How badly I want to rub my face against her neck, tilting her head back, watching her gasp, swallowing saliva down her throat, and scent her vulnerable jugular. My amber eyes lock into her flesh as her head was tilted to the side, exposing her veins. What would it feel like? To run my lips across her flesh, feeling her pulse throb, the sharp inhale of her nostrils, the moan that escapes her breathless lips…

What would it feel like to sink his sharp wolf fangs into her, feeling the life drain from her? The blood ooze from the puncture wounds, her organs fail trapped inside her withering, frail body? To see the light leave her eyes?

Enough with these thoughts.

I scoop her up swiftly as if she was but a babe or a rag-doll and take her to her room, calling upon the maid named Paisley to undress her and prepare her for slumber.

His ears prick as she stirs. “Thank you, Namjoon.” She mumbles quietly. I don’t say a word. I shed my human form once I get to the edge of the wood. I give a cry to let the others know I will not be back this eve and only Jungkook responds.

Hyung, be safe.

It is not him the brothers should be worried about. The thing they need to worry about is safe in the castle—for the night.

———-

In my dreams that night, I am led by seven different colored wolves to a brightly colored carousel. The wolves are all friendly, large, and each smelt rather different from each other. Their fur is soft and exquisite, I run my hands across the canines as they rub their heads against mine. In my wonder, I wish to ride them, but I refrain. Their amber eyes glow with knowledge behind them and they grin wolffish, cunning smiles, revealing their sparkling, pearly fangs. They whine and pant and yip as they lead me up to the shimmering, merry fair ride in the middle of the wood.

They each jump on the slow moving platform, following some pattern, transforming into seven men in waist jackets, complete with top hats and masquerade masks upon their faces. I can’t help but feel like I know them. They call you with their howls, beckoning me with items in their hands: books, foods, flowers, sheet music, paintings, dancing shoes, and gloves. Do I know them like this? Do I want to?

Everything echoes in this space. I suddenly feel like I am suffocating, it is hard to breathe as they try to pull me onto the platform, but I pull away. I made a mistake and I need to flee. I am in danger.

I turn to go. The wolf men growl in warning and I freeze. My blood is ice, my pulse is in my ears, and I feel the seven sets of eyes upon me like they are going to gobble me up. I am prey!

WE WILL KEEP YOU SAFE. YOU ARE OURS. YOU ARE MINE! They cry in unison, an awful noise like they are wounded, shot animals.

The wolf-men lunge at me, their bodies piling on top of me, covering me as they growl and whine and snarl. Gnashing teeth and hungry claws tear me limb from limb as they pull me apart, ripping the pink muscles away under my flesh. My blood is pooling around me as I lie paralyzed in my own sticky, red mess or hair and skin, and organs.

A scream rips through my throat.

Two large, amber eyes glimmer at me from the end of my bed as a giant black wolf lays near my feet, its head slightly cocked to the side, its ears perked at attention. I faint from the frightening sight and my mind plummets back into darkness once more.

———

Part Two And A Half l Part Four

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jwirecs · 2 years

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Recommended BTS Fics of June 2022💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of june! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writes 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Hand On Me || @canarygirl1017🔞💕💔✅

↳ You’d never had much luck with relationships, and experience had taught you to shy away from physical intimacy. But when you started dating your neighbor, Jungkook, you began to think he was worth the risk.

Good Girls Go Bad || @jkstompers💕🔞✅💯💯

↳ you’re tired of being seen as a nice, sweet girl— so you ask help from the notorious kim taehyung, to help your good girl go bad. (hi i didnt make a bad boy au fic rec banner so i put it under here, i hope thats okay author!)

Officially Yours || @personasintro🔞💕✅

↳ you’re his and he is yours on the paper – but what is the reality?

10 Things I Hate About You || @leviackermanscleaningbuddy💕💔✅

↳ Enemies to Lovers. It’s cliche right? You’d think so, until it happens to you. Then, suddenly, it doesn’t seem quite so black and white anymore.

Road Tripping Over You || @joheunsaram 🔞💕💔✅

↳ You didn’t always hate Hoseok. In fact, if someone asked you six months ago you would’ve even said you loved your brother’s best friend - being in a relationship for over a year has that effect. But the rainbows and sunshine of your relationship were over, and now you had to spend six hours with the man who you wished you never had to see again.

90′s American Superstar || @joonberriess💕✅💯💯

↳ a small fairytale that revolves around you and your boyfriend of many years, a journey of your ups and downs as you both enter the future together <3. (the fluffiest and cutest fic i have read so far)

A Sunday Kind Of Love || @baljinciaga 🔞💕✅

↳ You just finished making a delicious breakfast for your boyfriend, but soon start craving more.

Message Received || @sunshinerainbowsbts🔞✅

↳ Hoseok sent you a message. Will you listen?

Silent Treatment || @thebangtancloud 💕💔✅

↳ Yoongi is upset with you because you don’t give him time. That’s until you come back home and don’t walk straight into his arms like you usually do.

Scent Of A Woman || @sahmfanficbts🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ In this hybrid AU, hybrids are rich and powerful. You are fully human in form and in weakness. Too bad you’re falling for your hybrid boss. And mayhaps he’s falling for you.

Petal || @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue 💕💔✅💯💯

↳ your soulmate pretends you don’t exist

Rebel With A Curse || @ffion451🔞💔✅

↳ Sweet, shy Jungkook has been pining over a girl for months - is he too nervous to make his move or does he realise that her links with his gang’s rivals would make any move a suicide mission?

My Little Ball of Spring || @theiris-storyvault 💕✅💯

↳ (no summary but this is just cute af)

MU$IC FAIRY || @sugakookitty🔞✅

↳ When Yoongi’s career started to kick off, he never imagined he’d have a secret admirer this early in the game. Sure, random women throw themselves at him all the time, but this one has a different approach when it comes to getting his attention.

What Money Can Buy || @jeonstudios🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ in need of money, jeongguk signs up as a sugar baby, assuming he’ll be paid for sex by some old kinky woman. he never expected to meet someone like you. what were you doing on that site, and why would you have to pay for company? (lowkey teared up in bed, ngl im a softy 🥲)

Moon Child || @adonis-koo🔞💕💔✅

↳ You had never dreamed of a day where you weren’t an Omega, beneath the boots of all your brothers and sisters. In an untimely manner your life is quickly turned upside down at the unexpected Blood Moon Alpha being your mate. With a new home you are summoned to the Kingdom of Vampires all while struggling to get to know your new mate.

Shadows & Wolfsbane || @daydream-hobii🔞💕💔✅

↳ Y/N is the youngest Alpha in her compound, owning a whole village. She was born by two Omegas, and originally wanted to be killed, but things were changing in her universe. At the end of the year, each Alpha can pick up to 30 new warriors, wolves that have been training, and the youngest always starts. Y/N never really chooses, asks for the ones who were unwanted such as the old or disabled. This time, she picks the strongest seven players among the warriors, and the other Alphas aren’t too happy, but she chose them for other reasons…. Hopefully, they’ll help her with the predicament she’s found herself in….

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

#bts scenarios #bts recs #bts fic recs #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts strangers to lovers au #bts werewolf au #bts hybrid au #bts friends to lovers au #bts established relationship au #bts dad au #bts mafia au #bts enemies to lovers au

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chryblossomjjk · 1 year

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bts fic recommendations | 01.31.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

busted (pt 1 + pt 2) - @btsgotjams27 (jjk x reader | married au, parents au, smut)

summary: your husband comes home with a new gift and you’re not happy with it.

oh.... this is wholesome

im usually partial to girl dad koo but i've been looking at his bby pictures lately and he was so cute ugh :'( picturing two lil kooks is killing me (also i see where u got the inspo teehee v cute jess)

also he's such a lil shit pls like he knows what he's doing being such a slut and avoiding the conversation !!! we love him for it !!!

this is my fav style of writing by the way. like when the reader is just dropped into a slice of the character's lives and you figure them out based on the context clues. like the fact that kook's mom died is such a small detail here but it adds so much to the world. you did so well with seamlessly dropping tidbits and making it natural, not an easy thing to do!!! but you did it so so so well in this!!

him licking his fingers clean after wearing her pussy like a ring had me

dad jk putting it the fuck downnnnnn on that bathroom counter SHEESH IM SWEATING!!! also the baby interrupting right before the nut is peak wholesome content lmao!! and the way you incorporated the title TWICE PLS A GENIUS AND THIS WAS SO INCREDIBLY HOT and i would love to see more of this lil family :') <3

i want to be with you - @oddinary4bts (pjm x reader | idol au, s2l, f2l, fluff, slight angst, smut)

summary: moving to seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is park jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. will the reality of park jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?

first of all this is just what i needed um what is fanfic if not a vehicle to live out your daydreams anywho... something about moving to a big city and finding love is so fairytale-ish and magical and uGh. the more of these i do the more im starting to think we're all the same bc I RELATE SOME MUCH TO OC GTFO!! and that introduction made me so attached to her because there almost this childlike nature about her?? maybe childlike is the wrong wording but she has so much excitement and ambition, looks to the future with so much hope despite everything that she's been through. yeah. love her dearly will protect at all costs. and the way you contrasted this intro with the intro to the present day to show how now its not a daydream anymore n shes actually dealing w the reality of starting n moving somewhere new *chefs kiss*

"Sometimes, you wondered if faith existed. If there was a bigger plan to the universe, something written for you already that you couldn’t really escape from. It was the thought that crossed your mind as the doors finished moving, and a dark-haired boy – man – stared at you as you just stood there, mouth falling open."

god if theres one thing my communications major literature minor loves its this !!!! foreshadowing !!! like idk this paragraph just tickled my brain in the right way. it really is so beautiful. one of those that you look back on on a second read and smile because it means so much more and aged even better. truly stellar writing.

ALSO BRO THIS OC IS LEGIT MEEEE LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE OUT MY CLUELESS Y/N WHO HAS NO IDEA WHO BTS IS AND IS MYSTERIOUS AND NON-INTERESTED WHEN I HAVE A WHOLE TATTOO DEDICATED TO PARK JIMIN LMAO THE CHIMMY KEYCHAIN TOOK ME OUT BYE!!

"You expected his features to have that same disgusted scowl he always reserved for you, but his brows fell, as if he was ashamed, or perhaps sad."

"It was so human you found you had to look away."

and then just the pull towards eachother like this connection was legit fated was so fucking good. them taking care of eachother when they're drunk. hangover fucking soup :'). and then after everything with collin and jimin's spiraling they really needed eachother. like the stars aligned to set this pair up and its so comforting to read. BUT LIKE THE SLOWBURN MADE IT FEEL SO SO EARNED. AND THE WAY YOU ENDED IT WITH THE TITLE I COULD FUCKING SCREAM!!! so so so good. thank you for taking the time to write and share this masterpiece on the platform, you've made it sm better with this beautiful addition :') friends do not walk, RUN to read this.

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nodistinction-noproblem · 2 years

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Queerplatonic Fiction Recs

My plea for queerplatonic fiction has garnered some attention, so here is a post compiling all of the recs I've received! I will be updating this list if/when more recs come in, and I will link this post in my pinned.

I have not read all of these so I haven't vetted them for anything, these are just provided as they were given to me! All I know is that these works are said to include relationships that center and/or discuss QPRs and other nonromantic committed relationships. The summaries are from the website from which I link the work.

If your recommendation didn't make it, it may have not been what I was looking for, or I just missed it!

Recommendations are alphabetically sorted, first by fandom and then by title.

Fanfiction

Here's Your Room Key, The Pool Closes At Ten. (Ben 10 Series; Generator Rex). Rex finds out that Ben is once again running wild, but he can’t quite see what exactly is supposed to be going on with him. And on the other hand, Rex has got his own feelings he needs to worry about keeping in check.

I Don't Need No Fairytale. (BTS). Prince Park Jimin is fed up of being foisted off on whichever suitor his mother has found for him this week. He knows he has a responsibility to continue the royal line, but he's aromantic, and he can't bring himself to tell his mother the truth. When he runs into a masked stranger who also happens to be aspec at the annual masquerade ball, Jimin comes up with a plan that might just save them both - that is, if two aspecs who have only just met can convincingly pull off a fake relationship well enough to fool the entire court.

Different Kinds of Partners. (Daredevil). “Look, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but, like, the pitter-patter heart thing? It’s not the end all, be all. It’s not an automatic trump card. Like, I’ve had the pitter-patter heart thing for lots of people, and those people? They’re not nearly as important to me as Nelson and Murdock. I don’t want to be partners and fight crime and - and narrate the action scenes in Jurassic Park with all the pitter patter heart people.”

A Place To Call Home. (The Flash). "I don't normally do this, but I was watching the two of you, and... can I buy you both a drink?" - Cisco probably shouldn't laugh because it isn't really funny. But he chuckles in amusement all the same. "Is that really what you want to open with, Lisa?"

Armageddon Revised. (The Flash). Fic Series.

A retelling of the Armageddon Flash event that patches a number of plot holes, establishes Eobard as the definitive villain of the arc, introduces a new villain for the series proper, has a longer bad future arc, presents an evil plan that actually makes sense, includes more queer characters in the Flash's main cast, and pushes back against the gross amatanormativity from the fourth episode of the mini-series.

Comfort Levels. (The Flash; Arrow). Oliver's just figured out he's aromantic. Now comes the hard part: telling his boyfriend. He doesn't want their relationship to change - it's not like he's actually different all of a sudden. But... what if Barry thinks he is?

I'll Show You Mine. (The Flash; DC's Legends of Tomorrow). The kiss was a distraction. Len doesn't know why it's bothering Mick so much. Not when there are real things to be mad about.

Mending Wall. (The Flash; DC's Legends of Tomorrow). Two broken people reconnect, try to fix each other's lives, and learn that they can only do that themselves.

Missy Verse. (The Flash). Fic Series. Examines Lisa's journey to figuring out she's aromantic and eventually coming out, the balance between Hartley and Cisco's romance and their growing queer platonic relationship with Lisa, and the insecurities the three of them all deal with from to time as they form their own family together.

Fake Dating AU. (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga.) Fic Series. When Ling first suggested fake dating as a way of getting free food, he hadn't expected it to end up like this.

Friends of the Soul. (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga). Ever since Greed was torn out of his body, Ling’s mind has felt empty and silent, but even still, his heart has never been more full.

A Life Full of Love. (Harry Potter). An aromantic asexual Harry’s journey to finding himself and finding his place in life.

Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold). (Harry Potter). Harry spends his life waiting for something he isn’t entirely sure he wants, and looking for something he doesn’t know exists. Everything feels ill-fitting until Draco Malfoy enters his life and shows Harry he doesn’t have to want the expected things, and Harry learns happiness doesn't have to look a certain way.

There Isn’t a Word for What We’ve Got. (Harry Potter). Five people who misunderstood Sirius’ relationship with Remus and one two who didn’t.

Restatement of Home. (The Magnus Archives). Meeting an old acquaintance again can be a bit of a culture shock. Instantly clicking again with your old ride or die… is a different sort of shock entirely.

Blank Slate, Artificial Boxes. (The Murderbot Diaries). [...] “Because I’m aromantic.” - That… shouldn’t have been surprising, actually. And it was something we had in common, as much as I was loath to admit having something in common with Gurathin. And - well, it did have something to do with this. “That has nothing to do with this,” I said.

Sea Shanties. (One Piece). A collection of Luffy oneshots. Summaries of each on the individual chapters themselves.

Sorry to Bother You. (Soul Eater). Death The Kid asks Crona out on a date and, being aromantic, Crona does not know how to deal with it.

Illusion's QP Skullvin Cinematic Universe. (Splatoon). Fic Series.Skull and Vintage Ex-QPPs to QPPs again, except I've actually put the relevant fics in order to make it easier to read, yay!

The Instinct of the Blind Insect. (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine). Garak is just trying to help. Odo jumps to conclusions. Both come to (embarrassingly sincere) personal revelations.

New Year's Traditions. (Star Wars: The Clone Wars; Star Wars Prequel Trilogy). Cody and Obi-Wan spend the last day of the Coruscanti year together teaching Cody how to make a traditional pastry from Stewjon.

|no war to reach you, no bolt to keep you| (Star Wars). Cody closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. It was just a little strange, perhaps, to be cared for this way. A warmth of a different kind than that he’d felt all his life for his brothers; and something entirely different than the love, he’d come to realize, which romance holos and some of his aforementioned brothers spoke of.

Platonic. (Tales of Graces). [...] coming out as aromantic and asexual isn't exactly easy when [Asbel's] brother is a pedant and a know-it-all who thinks amoeba jokes are funny and his childhood best friend would rather try to 'fix' him than accept that accept that her feelings aren't reciprocated. Thankfully, Asbel's got his little sister Sophie and their friends Richard, Lambda, and Pascal in his corner.

Something For His Something. (Teen Wolf). Five times Stiles asked the wrong person for advice on Jackson's birthday and one time he asked the right person.

This or That, But Always Mine. (Teen Wolf). He and Derek were not a thing. Or, okay, maybe they were kind of a thing, in a way. But they were definitely not that kind of thing. Stiles just wished everyone else could understand that.

Ratchet has acquired a reason to like Valentine's day. (Transformers). In which all the aros take shifts on Valentine’s day, Ratchet’s Valentines day ends with a Mythbusters marathon with Drift and Rodimus, no one’s quite sure what blue popcorn is all about but it’s there anyway, Ratchet is the best pillow, braiding hair is practically mandatory for a not-sleepover, [...] , and Ratchet gets a reason to like Valentine’s day every year.

Queerplatonic Prompt Fills. (Various Fandoms). Fills for the prompts posted by qpr-prompts!

Tactile. (Venom). Eddie let their fingers drift to the dark mass on their shoulder and started running them back and forth over the surface. What new human gesture was this? Was Eddie trying to tell him to go back inside? Venom did. - “Oh, sorry.” - For what. -“The…” Eddie mimed the motion he’d been making, “stroking. You didn't like it?”

Original Fiction

A Queerplatonic New Year (An Aspec for All Seasons 1) - Katie Fouks. Aromantic asexual college student Trav has never felt about someone the way he does about his soft-spoken roommate and best friend, Ollie. With his sister’s encouragement, can Trav work up the courage to ask for what he wants and get the New Year’s kiss he dreams of?

Baker Thief - Claudie Arsenault. Adèle has only one goal: catch the purple-haired thief who broke into her home and stole her exocore, thus proving herself to her new police team. Little does she know, her thief is also the local baker.

Common Bonds - Multiple Authors. Common Bonds is an anthology of speculative short stories and poetry featuring aromantic characters. At the heart of this collection are the bonds that impact our lives from beginning to end: platonic relationships. While this anthology is not entirely centered around committed non-romantic relationships, it is very very good and as someone who just finished it, I really recommend it!

Ice Castle: A Queerplatonic Love Story - Katie Fouks. Shoveling dirt over slippery patches while dressed as a Christmas fairy isn’t the most glamorous job in the world, but Rachel Forrest doesn’t mind spending another holiday season as “dirt girl” at the Ice Castle ice maze if it means she gets paid. She never expected one such patch of ice to lead her to Cassie Harlan.

If It Makes You Happy - Claire Kann. Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to her favorite place – Misty Haven and her granny’s diner, Goldeen’s. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall. …until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen.

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells. Series. On a distant planet, a team of scientists are conducting surface tests, shadowed by their Company-supplied 'droid -- a self-aware SecUnit that has hacked its own governor module, and refers to itself (though never out loud) as "Murderbot." Scornful of humans, all it really wants is to be left alone long enough to figure out who it is.

Save the kiss for later, ‘cause the answer I seek doesn’t lie among yesterday. - SolarianVoidTheAroAce on Ao3. Starting college is a big step and a dive into a new chapter for many people. [...] It’s a “new year, new me” decision that aligns with semesters and college years instead of the common calendar. Leaving her home country to study abroad, Jerry made that decision for herself. Trying to leave his past behind himself, Jerry is determined to make his college experience worthwhile. To let those seven semesters be the first chapter of a life Jerry can truly claim her own.

The Thread That Binds - Cedar McCloud. An adult fantasy novel about queer bookbinding witches forming a found family, falling in love, and keeping their magic library out of the hands of an abuser. Centers a queerplatonic relationship.

#queerplatonic fiction #queerplatonic relationships #recs #fic recs #aromantic #arospec #acespec #asexual #queer fiction #long post #selfpost #relationships #not positivity

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