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#bts fanfic
fave-bts-fics · 11 minutes ago
Hi do you know any active BTS x BTS member fic recs blogs? I thank you.
Sorry but I don't follow any fic rec blogs on Tumblr so I can't help you with that
BUT my asks are currently open so you can always ask me ;)
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ao3feed-yoonkook · 49 minutes ago
Take my Hand, Trust me little Boy
read it on the AO3 at
by soot_vylf_ao3
AU where yoongi builds an android with his father, a special one. But after its update, it only thinks violence is the right way to success and make humans //their// slaves. (written in present tense)
Words: 328, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi | Suga's Parents
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga
Additional Tags: Androids, Past Violence, Blood and Gore, Underage Rape/Non-con, Childhood Trauma, Stockholm Syndrome
read it on the AO3 at
0 notes
halesandy · an hour ago
Can someone PLEASE send me their fav fics?
Bts x reader, Stray Kids x reader
I'm out of fics to read and I need help
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girixoy · an hour ago
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O rei de copas
• 🎨 pedido pessoal
• ✏ feito em 24/06
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swcetnight · 2 hours ago
I found a song that is freaking PERFECT for It’s Definitely You… but i cant share it with y’all till the secret is out because it’ll give the whole plot away 💀 THE THINGS I KEEP FROM YALL BUT WANNA SPILL—
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disasteor · 2 hours ago
extras: dark & wild era
danger era
clothing style: yumi usually wore black jeans/leather pants and a black tank top. on rare occasions the tank top was changed to one with light grey and black stripes. and the signature heeled boots, of course.
hair: yumi's hair was  dark brown, cut shorter than shoulder length ad her bangs were kind of overgrown and pushed aside to give a slightly mature vibe. but her hair grew out towards the end of the era, up to her shoulders.
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(the lady in the picture has no connection to yumi. except the hair, of course)
makeup: thicker eyeliner to make her eyes look darker, the rest was pretty much just the same makeup as the rest of the boys.
accessories: yumi wore her rose pendant necklace (she doesn't really ever take it off), and other jewellery like earrings, lots of bracelets. no hairslides in this era because the stylists thought she'd overgrown them.
war of hormone era
clothing style: yumi was basically very sexy in this era (tried to be. she looked like a baby.) she was always dressed in a red plaid skirt and black tank top for the performances and the mv, with fishnet stockings and faux leather heeled boots.
hair: yumi's hair was blonde, up to her shoulders, bangs back in place and covering her forehead (ARMYs were pretty disappointed about that). but once they attended MAMA and the stylists found out that the blond extensions didn't look too fake on Yumi's hair, they went wild with her hairstyles. ponytails, long straight hair, long wavy hair, etc. etc. yumi knew this was now her future. fake hair half the time, real hair the other half. (minji-unnie is still having a blast styling yumi's fake hair in 2021).
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(again, the ladies in the pictures have no connection to yumi except the hair)
makeup: so, this era had kind of a punk makeup as a whole, so thin winged eyeliner and red lips was the trademark look for Yumi this era. she wanted a fake nose piercing, but the world was not ready for it so she didn't get one.
accessories: rose pendant + a choker. Large  earrings (that got stuck in in-ears all the time) and bracelets.
Kkonghamyeon neon mureo "ppijyeonni?"
Nal ppichigehaetdeon jeogina isseonni(0:51 - 0:55)
Geunde wae ireoneunde
Wae baboreul mandeureo
Naije gyeonggohae (1:07 - 1:20)
Neo jigeumwieomhae
Wae nareul siheomhae
Wae nareul siheomhae
Hetgallige hajima (1:43 - 1:53)
Hetgallige hajima (2:09 - 2:11)
Neo jigeumwieomhae
Wae nareul siheomhae
Wae nareul siheomhae
Hetgallige hajima (3:14 - 3:24)
[high note] Hetgallige hajima (3:40 - 3:50)
Nae kkeon anirajiman neon choego
Ni apeseo baebae kkoineun nae mom (1:08 - 1:14)
Nan neoramyeon I'm OK
Oh jajega andwae maeil (1:27 - 1:34)
Aptaedo choego dwitaedo choego (1:40 - 1:43)
Georeumgeori hanakkaji choego choego (1:55 - 1:58)
Yeojaneun choegoui (2:55 - 2:58)
Jinjja nae sowoneun (3:01 - 3:04)
Aptaedo choego dwitaedo choego
Meoributeo balkkeutkkaji choego choego (3:11 - 3:16)
[bridge lines + high note with jimin + adlibs] (3:18 - 3:45)
Nan neoramyeon I'm OK
Oh jajega andwae maeil
Ap taedo choego dwitaedo choego
Meoributeo balkkeutkkaji choego choego (3:50 - 4:00)
I'll be down for your rap
I'll be down for your rhythm
It still makes my heart pound
It makes me be the real me
Yeah I love this
(Hip! Hop!) Has the scent of humans
(Hip! Hop!) Writing down my life
(Hip! Hop!) Is now part of my life
(Hip! Hop!) Yeah this ma (Hip! Hop!)
(3:45 - 4:14) 
Girl, let me know, girl, let me know
Imi da kkeutna geon algo issjiman
Miryeonirado namji anhgeman
Girl, let me know, girl, let me know
Girl, let me know mworado malhaejwo
I just wanna know, know, know
I just wanna know, know, know
Jeongguk miryeoni michimpyo apeseo beotigo isseo
Geureoni mworado naege malhaejwo
Girl, let me know, let me know (3:30 - 4:10)
(not all of these are yumi's lines, but she's singing the main parts) 
Biga oneun jiteun saek seoul geu wie
Yeojeonhi jam mot iruneun naega heuryeojine (1:06 - 1:16)
Na i biga meojeodo jeo gureumi geothyeodo
Udukeoni seo isseo i moseup geudaero
Amu maldo anheun chae sesangeul naeryeodabwa
Geogin areumdapji moshan naega nal bogo isseo (3:37 - 3:59)
[jimin, yumi]
Only you only you
Nan tto ni apeseo isanghan jisman golla hage dwae
Jeongmal yeppeo yeppeo yeppeo
Oh naega wae geuraessneunji
Jada ibulkik nalligesseo (2:26 - 2:48)
Only you woo woo woo woo woo
You woo woo woo woo woo (3:33 - 3:40)
Oh yeppeo yeppeo yeppeo (yeppeo!)
Naegen Only you (3:47 - 3:56)
7. 24/7=HEAVEN
All night girl
I think about you all night girl
Naeirimyeon geudael boge dwae
And I don't know what to say (2:10 - 2:19)
Neoreul mannaneun Sunday
Sangsangman haetdeon someday
Oneureun hansumdo mot jal geot gata (2:30 - 2:40)
(I know) oh neon
(I know) mandeureo (2:49 - 2:55)
Sangsangman haetdeon someday
Ijeneun anya someday
Gwaenhi nan utgo isseul geotman gata (3:13 - 3:22)
Neoneun kkochigo naneun beoriya
Neoneun kkurigo naneun gomiya (0:31 - 0:40)
Oeropdago jingjingdael ttaen imi neujeosseo
Ni arittaun maeryeok naega arabeoryeosseo
Baby come on (1:03 - 1:12)
Yeogi bwa (1:26 - 1:28)
Uri mannameun uyeoni aniya
Neoreul mannan geon nae baraemieosseo (1:43 - 1:52)
Neomu yeppeo neon neukkimi jom na
Maeryeogi teojyeo ije naege jwobwa (2:06 - 2:15)
domanggaji ma (2:18 - 2:19)
Oeropdago jingjingdael ttaen imi neujeosseo
Ni arittaun maeryeok naega arabeoryeosseo
Baby come on (2:23 - 3:32)
domanggaji ma (3:06 - 3:07)
Yeogi bwa (3:34 - 3:38)
9. 2nd GRADE
Nun kkamjjakhal sae hangnyeoni dwae
Tto bangasoereul danggyeo cause time flowing fast (0:11 - 0:16)
Ireonjeoreon gomindeureun dwiro
Ilnyeoni neomeogado urideureun oneureul sareo (1:26 - 1:32)
Nun kkamjjakhal sae hangnyeoni dwae
Kkumman jotteon naega ijen mudaee bureul nae(1:44 - 1:50)
Nun kkamjjakhal sae hangnyeoni dwae
Tto bangasoereul danggyeo cause time flowing fast (2:42 - 2:49)
[yumi, SUGA, J-Hope)
(Still everyday) bang it bang it, bang it bang it
(Still everyday) bang it bang it, bang it bang it (3:46 - 3:56)
I rewind my girl baby come back to my world
I rewind my girl come back (0:09 - 0:17)
Nan mareun an hajiman da algo isseo
Ni maeum ane deo isang nae jariga eopsdan geol (1:41 - 1:53)
Amudo moreuge gwaenchanha boige
Neol mannadagado ni pyojeong hanae jigeum ulgo isseo (2:01 - 2:10)
I rewind my girl baby come back to my world
I rewind my girl come back[+ad-libs] (2:38 - 2:47)
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ao3feed-yoonkook · 2 hours ago
Don't talk about honor, men die for love
read it on the AO3 at
by velvert
Post-apocalypse rebellion leader Yoongi finds hope after a failed assault. Hope takes the form of soothing hands and light in a smile.
Words: 1238, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Yoonkook Drabbles
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jeon Heejin, Kim Namjoon | RM
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Rebellion, Explosions, The aesthetic is kinda like The Maze Runner, Jungkook has long hair, Really long hair
read it on the AO3 at
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jungkooks-left-tiddie · 3 hours ago
I think I’m in love | knj.
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Summary: Your new internship sucked ass. It was fun, but exhausting at the same time. It also didn’t help that uni was also stressing you out. Amidst all this pressure and stress, perhaps a midnight walk on the Han River with your crush Kim Namjoon is what you needed all along. A/N: so I saw this namjoon picture circulating around stan twitter and my 3am sleep deprived ass decided to write a Drabble. 1 hour and 2k words later, here we are.
Words: 2k (maybe more idk I didn’t count)
Warnings: grammar issues, 4am writing
Song rec: I think I’m in love (kat dahlia)
“You’ve never been to the Han River at night?” Screams of outrage filled the silent room as you shook your head.
“I’ve never had the need to,” You frowned, feeling a little lost. “Plus it’s not like my parents would have let me.”
“Have you ever heard of something called sneaking out?” Jimin continued berating you and you couldn’t help but feel a little upset.
“Look, I know it may seem like Jimin-hyung is overreacting, but he’s not.” Jungkook clarified and made you feel even worse. “Han River is amazing at night.” The 3 boys nodded as if it were a common fact.
“You guys aren’t making this any better, y’know.” You frowned yet again.
They continued describing how mesmerising the river looked at night and you could do nothing but frown and continue doing your work.
Unbeknownst to you, Kim Namjoon kept sneaking glances at you from where he was seated. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle and that got on Yoongi’s nerves.
“Just ask them out, for fucks sake.” Yoongi massaged his eyes as Seokjin and Hoseok tried not to laugh.
“What do you mean?” Namjoon pretended to not know what Yoongi’s words meant and noted down a few more points for his assignment.
“Please tell me Namjoon did not just ask that,” Yoongi took a deep breath before proceeding, “Look, we all know that you have the most obvious crush on (Y/N) so just go and confess ok?”
It was true. Ever since you’d moved into the flat right opposite to his, Namjoon’s been talking about you non-stop.
But he continued to pretend like he didn’t hear Yoongi.
Seokjin and Hoseok, who were tired of their constant bickering and Namjoon’s denial, decided to take matters into their own hands.
“Yoongi’s right Joon,” Seokjin shared a mischievous glance with Hoseok before continuing, “If you don’t do anything, we will.” He declared, standing up and making his way to where you were sitting with Hoseok following in suit.
Namjoon started panicking even more when Yoongi decided to join Jin and Hobi as well, because he knew; oh he knew that they would not hold back. So he quickly ran after them and tried to convince them to back out.
“Guys, come on!” He begged, “I promise I will ask them out one day, but please please don’t do anything now,” It was too late now. Taehyung had spotted the lot of them walking up to your table.
“(Y/N), look!” You winced as Jungkook elbowed you harshly.
“What, dumbass--”  Kim Namjoon was standing in front of you.
For a moment, you felt your entire surroundings become a blur and you could only see Kim Namjoon in all his 6ft glory. And as soon as it came, it was gone because you had to remind yourself that people were watching.
“Jin-hyung! What’s up?” Jungkook hits the other man’s arm in greeting.
“Stop hitting me, punk,” They started doing their own thing again, forcing Hoseok to take over.
“We heard you guys talk something about rivers and we were bored so we decided to join lmao,” Hoseok dragged one of the chairs from a nearby table and slumped.
“Damn, I didn’t realise we were that loud,” Tae rubbed his neck sheepishly.
“It was necessary though! I mean it's not everyday we come to know that our best friend never visited the Han River at night,” All eyes were on you after Jimin’s statement.
“Wait (Y/N) really?” You nodded reluctantly. “I lived pretty far away plus I had strict parents so…” You hoped they would drop the topic here, and were extremely thankful when they did.
“Well, I'm sure you’ll have plenty more opportunities to visit. So don’t worry!” Seokjin cheered you up a little.
Your phone started ringing from nowhere and apparently your boss wanted you to collect some files to write a report on from the main office so you quickly informed your friends and bade them farewell.
Collecting the files wasn't the hard part. The hard part was walking home with no one except your thoughts to keep you company. You thought about what your friends said about the Han river and decided to make a trip if you were done with your work.
It sucked to admit it, but they were probably right. The Han River must be really mesmerising for them to talk about it so much and you found yourself suddenly envious of the rest of them.
Night strolls weren’t an option in your old neighbourhood; and though the new one wasn’t bad, you were busy with both uni and your internship. I mean being able to read your fanfics itself was a luxury and these hoes expected you to take a leisure stroll? Keep dreaming luv <3
You said all that to say, but you were still thinking about going there tonight. It seemed like immense fun and plus, it would be your first midnight stroll. You just hoped, with all your might, that you would be able to finish the work as soon as possible.
Lo and behold! 3 cups of coffee later, you were done!
To celebrate, you blasted some music on the speakers and danced along to the lyrics, bopping your head along to the beats.
Namjoon looked at your dancing form through his window. You seemed like you were having a lot of fun, he concluded, an amused  grin now apparent on his face. Judging by the way you seemed to have fun, Namjoon concluded that you must've been done with the work you mentioned you had.
Namjoon did not know the practicality of this, but he had a very random idea to take you on a riverside date. And you know what? He was going to do it. Fuck Yoongi, he’s going to prove it to the rest of them that he, indeed, could ask you out.
And so he took out a random book and wrote a message on it, Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me style.
He did not know where this sudden confidence came from, but he took a small pebble from his rock collection and chucked it across to make sure it hit your window (yes, he was careful not to break it) and waited for your response.
You, on the other hand, were confused. Your mini-dance session was interrupted by a clink! Against your window and you went to check for the source of the sound; only to be met with Kim Namjoon’s waving form.
You panicked internally, not knowing what to do in front of the man you obviously had a thing for. And you were even more confused when he held up a paper with something on it.
“Do you want to go on a riverside walk with me?” It read.
Apparently, you could not form words so that’s fun =D. Instead, you chose to stand there like 🧍🏽and just nod in response. Namjoon gave you a beautiful dimpled smile with a thumbs up before closing the curtains to his window and switching his lights off.
It was only now that you were hit with the epiphany that you were going on what was essentially a midnight date with the Kim Namjoon and boy, oh boy, you were most certainly NOT prepared for it.
Rushing to your closet, you threw on your most comfortable pair of outerwear (and of course made sure you looked presentable) before chewing like 5 breath mints and grabbing your scarf (and your apartment keys) to go and meet Namjoon.
“Hey,” He smiled.
“Hey,” You replied, still breathless.
“Ready to go?” Namjoon asked and you nodded in response. You noticed that he hid something in his bag but made no comment and instead fell into a steady pace beside him.
The walk to the river was not awkward at all, thanks to Namjoon’s ability to radiate comfort. Which was a blessing cause otherwise you would definitely have embarrassed yourself by now.
You didn't even realise that you’d reached your destination until you noticed the numerous cars and lights.
“Woah.” You had no words for the sight in front of you.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” Namjoon chuckled and sighed, “I love coming here. It never gets old.” He stares off into the distance.
You get it now. The way the bridge lit up, the view, the vibe, everything. It was enthralling. And the fact that it was Namjoon who was with you made this 1000 times better.
You were so absorbed with admiring the view in front of you that your dumbass didn't notice Namjoon staring at you. There was just something so absolutely adorable and endearing in the way your eyes lit up and seemed to sparkle at the sight in front of the both of you.
“Namjoon, look!” You grab the sleeve of his hoodie, “Purple lights!” He quickly snaps a picture of not only the scenery in front of him, but also you. You who were so excited to see this view at midnight for the first time.
You spent a bit more time admiring the view, goofing off, and taking pictures before finally deciding that it was time for the both of you to head back. As upset as you were, you took comfort in knowing that you could visit this place more often hereon.
The conversation on the walk back home was one that you would never forget.
“No way… Here I was thinking that alpha and beta were just limited to greek alphabet and math,” The look of horror on Namjoon’s face when you explained omegaverse was something that you desperately wanted a picture of, and regretted not taking one.
“It’s a thing that definitely exists, and though I may not be a fan of it; I think a lot of people are into that kind of thing.”
“Interesting,” He comments, pausing. “Say, would the title ‘My Alpha mate’ qualify as omegaverse?” His sudden question caught you off guard.
“I think so… Why do you ask?”
“I think… I think Yoongi-hyung is into omegaverse.” Even though you did not mean to, you burst out in laughter. Yoongi being into reading stories centering around dom alpha mating rituals was something you never needed to know but were glad you did.
You continued explaining the various fanfiction tropes to the other male, especially your favourite ones.
“Oh, I once remember reading this amazing Zuko, Sokka and Suki fic somewhere and I genuinely think that it should be nominated for the Nobel prize,” Namjoon looked at you affectionately while you rambled about the plot of the story.
“And at the end--” You paused, looking behind you and caught Namjoon standing with a camera in his hands.
“Sorry, you just looked so beautiful, I had to take a picture.” You were sure you looked like the capillaries in your face burst.
There were a lot of things Namjoon was proud about, and making you blush that hard was definitely on his top 5.
“L-let’s go, dork.” You try your best to brush it off but KIM NAMJOON JUST COMPLIMENTED YOU STFU OK YOU WERE ALLOWED TO CRY.
Anyways, y’all reached your apartment complex sooner than the both of you wanted, and honestly? Neither of you wanted the other to go.
“So,” “Actually--” You both begin at the same time. Flustered, you gestured to Namjoon to go ahead with what he wanted to say and assured him that what you wanted to say wasn’t of any major importance.
“I actually bought something for you,” He took a small bag out of his backpack and handed it to you. “It’s a collection of poems and short stories that i wrote for-for you,” He flushed and avoided making eye-contact with you.
“Namjoon, I--”
“You don’t need to read it, but I just wanted to give them to you because… because I really like you.” It was your turn to blush (again).
“Of course I will read it, you idiot. I’m literally in love with you, what makes you think I won't?” Namjoon widened his eyes and proceeded to smile bashfully, pulling you into a tight hug.
“You have no idea how happy I am right now,” He admits, swaying you around in his arms. You nuzzle deeper into his warm embrace and whisper--
“Thank you for everything, Joonie.”
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ao3feed-yoonkook · 3 hours ago
build god we'll talk later
read it on the AO3 at
by mysticstae
kim taehyungun tanrı hakkında düşünceleri ve sevgilisi park jimin arasındaki tek benzerlik ikisinin de taehyungu büyük bir tehlikenin göbeğine atıyor olmasıydı.
  Words: 1378, Chapters: 1/?, Language: Türkçe
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Kim Taehyung | V, Park Jimin (BTS), Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Namjoon | RM, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope
Relationships: Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM
Additional Tags: Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Top Park Jimin (BTS), Prince Kim Taehyung | V, Prince Park Jimin (BTS), Fantastic
read it on the AO3 at
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misscheesecakeee · 3 hours ago
Might be uploading Track 07 of Miss Managed late tonight (June 25, Friday KST) instead of early tomorrow (June 26, Saturday). This way, my task list is clear for all my work-related stuff during the day :)
Have you read it already? What do you think of it so far? Click here to go to my ask page. Anons welcome! Come up with an anon nickname too if you want to be identifiable somehow without having to be traced back to a page. I'll be checking comments, asks, etc. by next week just so my work stuff is out of the way.
If you haven't read it yet, click here to see the Tumblr index of the story. It's available on Wattpad & Archive of Our Own for more comfortable reading.
I didn't make it available on Tumblr because it's not as reader-friendly as other platforms, in my opinion. Wattpad has an offline version with reading toggles for font type, size, background etc. For AO3, you can download an epub or PDF. Or if you're reading on Safari, there's a readers' view with some reading toggles too. But I make sure to update the Tumblr index with every upload so it's still accessible from this site.
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soobsfae · 4 hours ago
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summertime in paris, bts.
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“summertime is meant to fall in love. i could fall asleep and stare in your eyes, we'll dance all night. summertime is meant to fall in love. i wrote you a poem for your surprise, it's right by your side.”
#after an active twitter beef with a girl at your school, everyone points at you for her disappearance. but that was insane, the farthest you’d ever go is mention her on twitter— you wanted to get to the bottom of it, make her come back and prove that she was just out with her new guy of the week. you just hadn’t known an anonymous kid at your school had become so obsessively enamored with you, revealing piece by piece just how much they interfered in your day-to-day life— and as much as yoongi hated it, you followed after such clues, hoping to get seulgi home safe. you just weren’t sure if you’d do the same.
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genre. hard yandere!?!?!?!?!, mystery, humor, social media au, some written parts
couples. yn x yandere!anon. although it’s not much of a “relationship”
warnings. obsessive behaviors, creepy/scary messages, mentions of window peeping, stalking, murder, suspicion, curse words, teen disappearance, eventual smut, smutty messages, hs student/college student relationship, mentions of drugs and alcohol. will add more if needed.
important note. this is a YANDERE SMAU, so yes, dark themes everywhere. if it’s not your cup of tea then by all means, ignore this!!! this in no way, shape, or form truthfully depicts bts, it is all FICTION. and this is a story that will make everyone’s loyalty get tested as only i know who will be the yandere!!!!!
status. ongoing, no update schedule yet, but i will try and post a few times a week.
send an ask to be added to the taglist. heart and reblog when u can pls <3
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ㅤ one
ㅤ two
ㅤ three
ㅤ four
ㅤ five
more will be added as the story continues.
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vyduan · 7 hours ago
Reckless: Ch 3
Author: vyduan Pairing: Kim Namjoon | Reader, Jeon Jungkook | Reader Genre: angst, idolverse, friends to lovers, slow burn, canon compliant Word Count: 5,642 Rating: Explicit Warnings: Eventual explicit f/m sex, past child abuse (implied)
Notes: suicidal ideation, mention of past domestic/child abuse
Summary: Jungkook knocked and opened the door to your studio in one smooth motion. “Noona, did I leave my — oh my god — noona!”
You were on your knees, gasping. Your father was in front of you, cupping your face frantically. Jungkook could have sworn his hands had been around your throat when he’d come in but that was preposterous. 
Reckless Masterlist [IN PROGRESS]: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | Epilogue
For more of my fics, here is my Masterlist.
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Chapter 3
February 2017
Jungkook knocked and opened the door to your studio in one smooth motion. “Noona, did I leave my — oh my god — noona!”
You were on your knees, gasping. Your father was in front of you, cupping your face frantically. Jungkook could have sworn his hands had been around your throat when he’d come in but that was preposterous.
“Help!” Your father cried in English. He looked panicked and confused. “I think she had an asthma attack and started choking. Do you know where her medicine is?”
Jungkook thought he understood most of it, but wasn’t quite sure. He definitely had no idea what to say back. He should have studied English harder in school. He wondered briefly if this was how you felt all the time.
You were doubled over and coughing. Tears streamed down your face.
“Noona, are you okay?” He made to come closer to you but you extended your arm and waved him off with your hand.
Your father bent down to stroke your hair and you snarled and lunged at him, raining slaps and half-formed punches at his head and shoulders. “Get the fuck away from me!” you yelled.
Jungkook couldn’t believe what he was seeing and rushed in to hold you back by the arms. “Noona, calm down. He’s your father!” It took all his strength to hold onto you. He called for his hyungs to come help and he heard them rush down the hall.
February 2017
Namjoon had heard Jungkook’s call for help and ran. His adrenaline spiked again when he entered your studio and saw Jungkook pinning you back as you struggled against the younger man, kicking out and screaming like a crazy person.
“Don’t ever fucking come near me again, you motherfucker! The next time you touch me I will kill you! I will fucking kill you!” You were hysterical.
Your father had crouched down, shielding his face with his hands. “Please don’t hurt me, Y/N-ah! I love you! I promise not to ask for money anymore. Please don’t be angry at me, bǎobèi! I am just a stupid old man!”
He couldn’t believe his eyes. Namjoon ran to your father, bowing. He said in as soothing a voice as possible, “It’s okay, sir. Please, let me take you somewhere safe.” And then, he took your father to his own studio as you railed obscenities in the background. “Can I get you some water or something? I can call you a taxi?”
Still in shock, Namjoon tried to reconcile the you he had just witnessed and the you he had thought he’d known. Somehow, it didn’t surprise him in the least that you could be so violent. Hadn’t he seen you punch Johnny in the face and lash out at trolls online? In the back of his mind, he worried that your father would sue the company for assault, jeopardizing everything he and his bandmates had worked so hard for.
You were a ticking time bomb. A liability to his company and to yourself.
“I am so embarrassed about my daughter’s behavior, Namjoon-ah,” your father said. He sounded so anguished. “I am afraid I haven’t been the best father to her.”
Namjoon felt incredibly awkward. “Ah, I’m sure you’ve been a great father and tried your best.”
“She’s ashamed of me, you know. That I am not successful. She hasn’t spoken to me in years.” Your father started crying. “I just needed a little help with my business — she’s so successful now — I am so proud of her! I never thought fame would change her so much that she’d treat her own father this way!” He sobbed even harder.
Namjoon thought of his parents and his members’ parents. If any of their families needed money, he wouldn’t hesitate to help. They were like his own family. They had watched him grow up.
“I’m sure noona wouldn’t refuse to help her own father. How much do you need? Perhaps I can help?”
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly. This is so humiliating,” he cried.
“Ah, Mr. L/N, sir —”
“Please, call me Uncle.”
Namjoon cleared his throat. “Uh, Uncle, please. It would be my honor to help.”
“You will think I am such a foolish old man and that Y/N is a terrible daughter — that I raised her with no honor.”
That was exactly what he was thinking but he obviously couldn’t say that. “No, sir. Please. I insist.”
“U.S.?” Namjoon felt faint. “I, uh, wow.”
“Ah, I knew it was too much to ask. Please, forget I said anything.”
Namjoon swallowed. “Uncle, I cannot give you that much, but I can give you some — and maybe the other members can contribute some, too.”
“Oh, that is too much to ask.” Your father sank his face in his hands. “Please don’t tell my daughter. She will be so angry.”
Namjoon had no idea how to proceed. “I can give $20,000 —” Your father’s face made a moue and then curved up to a grateful smile. “ — I suppose I can bump it to $30,000.”
“Thank you so much, Namjoon-ah. I am so grateful — you are so generous. I will pay you back as soon as I’m able.”
“There’s no need to pay me back, Uncle. I’m doing okay for myself.” Namjoon was flustered at your father’s profuse gratitude and tears of happiness. “I’ll make sure to ask the other members and see if they can, too.”
He got your father’s information and promised to send him the funds by the end of the week. He listened as your father told stories about your childhood, how he had coached you in Chinese speech contests and attended all your piano, violin, and voice recitals.
Your father really was so charming and self-deprecating and proud of you. Namjoon couldn’t understand how you could possibly be so rude and awful to your own father. He recalled how you had sworn at your mother. Perhaps it was because you were raised in America?
Namjoon pitied you, making a mental note to discuss with Bang PD about the incident and his worry about your father possibly suing you for assault. You may have two critically acclaimed and high-selling albums, but you were a loose cannon. Maybe Big Hit wasn’t a good fit for you after all.
February 2017
Jungkook was terrified. He held onto you as you lost it, trying to chase after your father as Namjoon escorted him out of your studio. “Noona, please calm down,” he begged. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”
After a few moments, you finally stopped thrashing about. You kept rubbing your throat and it was red and irritated. He noted tiny red flecks in your eyes and dusting your cheeks. You must have strained harder than he’d thought.
“Are you okay, noona?” he asked gently.
Yoongi and Seokjin had accompanied Namjoon into your studio and they hovered near you, clearly worried. Yoongi handed you a bottle of water he found on your desk and you sipped at it slowly.
“What happened?” Yoongi asked.
You sucked in deep breaths. “It’s nothing.” Your voice was hoarse and raspy.
“It didn’t look like nothing,” Seokjin noted.
You were shaking. Clearly, you were still furious and loaded up on adrenaline.
“Did you hurt yourself?” Jungkook asked.
You speared him with a look laced with contempt. “Something like that,” you spat.
You had never spoken to him with such venom before and Jungkook wanted to disappear. He had never been on the receiving end of your temper; you were dreadful.
You refused to speak anymore and after a few more awkward attempts, Jungkook left your studio with Seokjin and Yoongi to go to dance practice. On the way there, they ran into a thunderous looking Namjoon.
“What the fuck was that?” asked Namjoon. “Did she tell you what happened?”
“No,” answered Seokjin. “She refused to say anything and basically kicked us out of her studio after she calmed down.”
“Jungkook, what happened?”
“I — I thought I forgot my jacket in her studio so I knocked and opened the door. Noona was on the floor, choking — and her father was trying to help her. He asked for help but I didn’t really understand what he was saying. Something about medicine?”
Namjoon nodded for him to continue.
“And then, her father tried to help her and she started to scream at him and hit him. That’s when I grabbed her and called for help. She went crazy, hyung.”
“Do you think she’s unwell? Like she had a psychotic break?” asked Namjoon.
“I don’t know, hyung. She said she was going to kill him. She was so mean.”
“Well, she’s never been the nicest person,” observed Namjoon.
Jungkook shook his head mournfully. “She’s always been nice to me.”
Namjoon opened his mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it. “I’ll tell you guys later,” was all he said when pressed.
They all entered the dance room and Jungkook couldn’t concentrate at first, getting chewed out a few times for not paying attention. He finally got his shit together after he got his head in the game. He was a professional after all. He could worry about you later. Right now, he had a job to do.
April 2017
Jungkook was bored. He was stuck in a Hawaiian bar where he couldn’t drink alcohol because he wasn’t of age in America and he was tired from filming their latest Bon Voyage series. They had just finished and all they had left to film were scenes to the airport the next day.
You looked just as bored on the edge of the table, body positioned away from him and the rest of his members. You’d been in Hawaii for a friend’s wedding and management had thought it would double nicely as a photoshoot for a summer package. They’d booked you at the same resort as his group to take advantage of group rates and there you were, barely attempting to make nice with Namjoon and the older members.
Ever since your dad’s visit, things between you and Namjoon had been especially tense. At least they’d been traveling on tour for most of it so it wasn’t too awful. It had been so hard for Jungkook. He loved Namjoon — he was his leader after all — but he also loved you. He knew he was stupid for harboring his one-sided crush for so long, but he couldn’t help it. There was just something about you.
The other members couldn’t see it. He could tell they often held back what they really thought of you around him. But Jungkook wasn’t stupid. He knew you were a bitch. But also, he got the feeling that buried underneath all your anger was a soft heart, capable of great compassion and kindness. Not that he saw it much anymore. He held onto hope that whatever it was you were going through, that it would pass soon.
Jungkook tried to take you in without being too obvious, but you weren’t paying him any attention anyway. You never paid him any attention anymore and it hurt.
You were so hot in such a terrifying way.
You had filled your left arm with an intricate tattoo of a traditional Chinese calligraphy painting of mountains, water, and trees and you’d shaved the sides of your head close, the rest of your hair styled in a short, spiky blue mohawk ending in a mullet. You wore an ensemble Hoseok had deemed “lesbian bait” as soon as he’d laid eyes on you — much to your amusement. You had said it was exactly the vibe you were going for and had immediately headed to the bar for a drink.
A beautiful woman slid into a chair at the neighboring table and leaned over to ask you a question. You laughed kindly, your eyes warm and your cheeks slightly flushed from the heat and the drinks. “Ah,” he heard you say, “I’m sorry. I’m strictly dickly. But I am flattered.”
The woman made some other comment and you sucked in a breath and then downed your drink. “I guess it doesn’t hurt to double check,” you said and then bade him and his members good night. You got up and followed the woman out the bar.
“I thought she was seeing Dean hyung?” Jungkook commented.
Namjoon shrugged. “Don’t look at me. Dean hyung doesn’t tell me everything. We’re not that close.”
“Mind your business, Kookie,” Jimin said as he got up with Taehyung and headed to the dance floor.
Jungkook watched as Yoongi picked up a muscular Asian man and Jimin snagged two women. He supposed he, too, should take advantage of the looser restrictions in the states. He finished his drink and joined the crush of attractive bodies to find himself a body to warm.
Approximately twenty-four hours later, Jungkook, you, and his members were being escorted through the Incheon airport after a nine hour flight. His head was still muzzy and he was trying to shift his heavy backpack into a more comfortable position. A masked woman suddenly sped up to him with her phone held out, calling his name to get his attention. You stepped in between him and the overzealous fan to block the shot and the sasaeng went ballistic, cussing you out. One of the bodyguards was making his way over to the woman when she suddenly shoved you roughly to the side and in her haste to bring up her camera, she knocked you in the mouth with her elbow. That movement unbalanced you enough that you tripped and fell to the ground.
Jungkook rushed to your side as his bodyguard tried to prevent the sasaeng from getting closer. Your lip was bleeding and you actually spat blood onto the ground. He heard you exhale a hard pant and watched as you wiped your mouth on the back of your UCLA hoodie. He saw in your eyes the instant you’d decided your course of action. You lunged towards the sasaeng, yelling “you motherfucking cunt” and ready to brawl. Luckily, Jungkook had faster reflexes and caught you over his shoulder mid-pounce and hauled you away as your legs and arms flailed in the air.
You were not going to be charged with assault today. Not on his watch.
The ensuing videos went viral.
He had inadvertently gone up in public opinion — and his fans had swooned over how easily he’d scooped you up. They sighed over how much they wanted to be his noona and most applauded your vigorous defense of him though they conceded you had perhaps some questionable impulse control. As for your reputation, your bad girl and rebellious cachet only increased with detractors calling you a barbarian — no better than a wild animal. Of course, rumors swirled wondering if you and Jungkook were an item.
Namjoon just sighed at Jungkook’s involvement but Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He had liked the feel of you slung over his shoulders.
“‘Anatomy of a Heart’ (Big Hit Entertainment, 2017), the latest album from Y/N L/N and her first full album in Korea is overwhelming. As expected, L/N’s lyricism and storytelling are superlative. L/N is also a surprisingly excellent rapper — her flow and delivery at times sharp and brash and others, dark and menacing. Unfortunately, for an album ostensibly discussing the anatomy of the heart, there is surprisingly little heart present. An artistic choice to be sure, this reviewer cannot help but wish there were more moments of joy.” - The Hankyoreh, July 2017
“Cynical. Cruel. Callous.” - The Korea Herald, July 2017
[1] Intro: Palpitations [2:46] [2] Quick [3:48] [3] Confessions of a Hidden Romantic [3:12] [4] The Heart Is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist [3:46] [5] Expanding Unto the Infinite [4:29] [6] Interlude: Atrium Sanctus [2:28] [7] Of Glass, Of Stone [4:21] [8] Swipe Left [2:39] [9] Squeeze [4:02] [10] Outro: Code Blue [4:44] - Track list, “Anatomy of a Heart” (Big Hit Entertainment, 2017)
The heart is a muscle the size of your fist My mouth is a weapon in the guise of a kiss You used your words like fists and your fists like a whip Joke’s on you; I will never submit - “The Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist” (Big Hit Entertainment, 2017)
July 2017
Namjoon had to give it to you: you were a solid rapper and your beats were also innovative. He had heard from the producers that you had used your violin and viola to create many of the sound effects from scratch. He still recalled hearing your initial forays into rap and wincing at your delivery and flow. Granted, he didn’t know if you wrote your own verses or came up with the rhyme schemes yourself, but he highly suspected you did.
You were many things, but you had never shunned hard work. Every time he caught glimpse of you, you had your nose buried in a book or were tearing apart a piece of music or lyric. Your Korean vocabulary and ability had expanded and sometimes, he forgot that you were foreign.
Of course, then you had to go attack a sasaeng and he would remember right quick.
Though your latest album was respectable and well-crafted, Namjoon had to agree with the critics. It felt cold and distant for a work revolving around the concept of a heart. Or perhaps the lack of heart was a purposeful commentary in itself. Whatever the reason, your album made him feel uncomfortable and angry and he did not particularly care for it.
It still did great numbers though, so what did he know?
September 2017
“Noona, I can’t believe the company let you buy a motorcycle,” said Jungkook enviously as he admired your new BMW G 310 R. “You got red, too!”
“Yeah, I’ve been taking racing lessons,” you said. At Namjoon’s disapproving face, you added, “But obviously, this isn’t a racing bike.”
You watched as the younger members took turns sitting on the bike and snapping pics for each other. You had purchased the bike as a reward for your latest album selling well but every now and then, an idle thought would flash and you would yearn to round a corner a little too quickly on a rainy day and be wiped away clean. You did not dwell on such things, but you did up your life insurance and changed your account beneficiaries to your younger brother.
There was something wrong with you but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. You felt as if you were underwater all the time. Everything felt distorted, either too close or too near, too muffled or too loud.
It didn’t help that Namjoon was obviously pissed at you — for what reason, you could not imagine. Everyone else had moved on from the incident with your father and hadn’t mentioned it again. Things had only recently started easing between you and the older members and you still couldn’t believe you had lost your temper as badly as you did. You supposed your father throttling you had something to do with it, but it still made you too incoherent with rage to think about so you actively avoided it.
“Are you ready for your concerts, noona?” Hoseok asked as the eight of you headed back up to your studios.
“Yeah. They had to change some of the choreography because I couldn’t rap and dance simultaneously,” you laughed. “My body and brain just couldn’t hold all the different rhythms and patterns together at the same time. It was spectacularly bad.”
Hoseok hummed sympathetically. “It can be difficult, but I’m sure you’ll get it.”
“It’s nice of you to pretend you can relate, Hobi.”
He just grinned good-naturedly back.
“Hopefully we’ll get a chance to watch you in concert, noona,” Taehyung said. “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you live.”
“Ah, I’m not that great, honestly. Your concerts are way more exciting,” you said. “I don’t have a lot of choreographed sets and mostly play with the band.”
“That’s cool in its own right,” comforted Jimin. “We have different talents.”
“Where are you touring again?” asked Jungkook.
“I have two shows in Seoul, two in Tokyo, two in Hong Kong, and two in Taipei. We’re working on two in LA and two in New York. We’ll see.”
“That should be fun,” Seokin commented. “Are you going to see your family?”
You froze. Hong Kong was right next to Shenzhen so you technically could see your father — but Seokjin likely didn’t mean that. They’d never brought him up again after you’d made it clear you refused to talk about it. Bang PD had called you in his office but when you’d said it was personal and wouldn’t affect your work, he had just sighed and let it go with a warning for it not to bleed over to your labelmates.
“Oh, I will probably swing by Kaohsiung for a day to see my aunts and cousins after Taipei. If the U.S. shows happen, I may swing by the Bay Area either before LA or on my way back from New York. If Mattie has time, maybe he can take the train up from school and see me in New York.”
Your anxiety spiked at all this talk of your family and all of a sudden, you couldn’t breathe. A familiar vise tightened across your chest and you burst into a cold sweat, your vision swimming. Your heart raced and your hands tingled. You felt as if you were outside of your own body watching yourself go through the motions of walking and being human.
Thankfully, with that many members in the group, BTS didn’t really need you to hold up any conversation and they chatted amongst themselves all the way up while you tried to take deep breaths subtly and stay outwardly calm while wedged in the corner of the elevator. You’d had plenty of practice over the past few months doing so — but the panic attacks were getting worse and more frequent. That fact alone started a whole new wave of panic crashing through you.
When they invited you to join them for a snack, you declined abruptly.
You missed their disappointed and resigned expressions; you were too focused on making it to the privacy of your studio without freaking out in front of them.
You locked the door and sank to the floor, head tucked between your fisted hands and knees. 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, you counted and continued to count, eyes screwed shut, desperately trying to force your worthless mind into submission. You lost count and still the edges of panic clawed at your brain. You huddled against your door and repeatedly murmured “I am safe and secure. I am anchored like the roots of a tree” until your breathing eased.
You wiped away the tears that had tracked down your face and lay down on the floor, exhausted.
December 2017
“Noona, please let me drive it!” exclaimed Jungkook at your new Porsche 911. “I promise I will treat it well.”
“Can you drive a stick shift?” you asked, a smile in your voice. At his dejected expression, you sighed. “Alright, Kook. I’ll teach you. But I’m going to make you pay for the servicing if you fuck my gears up.”
“I know how to drive stick,” Yoongi piped up. “Can I take it for a spin?”
“Same,” said Seokjin.
“You literally have a Porsche Panamera Turbo, oppa.”
“So? Doesn’t mean I don’t want to drive your 911,” he said with a wink.
You dug your keys out of your purse and threw them at Seokjin. “Have at it then.”
The oldest two members cheered and decided they would take turns driving another member or two. The maknaes were busy playing rock, paper, scissors to determine who had to sit in the cramped back seat. You noted Namjoon’s scowling face and wondered what his problem was. Maybe he was just upset he didn’t have a license or something.
Who knew with Namjoon, really. He was always annoyed with you.
“I never took you for a flashy sports car type, noona,” Namjoon said, an edge to his voice.
“We all have your vices,” you said, determined to stay calm. “You buy ugly figures and clothes, I buy things that go vroom.” Welp, there went that resolve.
Namjoon exhaled a noise of disgust. “At least I do that after I take care of my family first.”
“What?” you asked, voice low and dangerous. The silence from the other men was stifling.
“Namjoon,” Yoongi said, a warning in his voice.
The younger man glared at his hyung and pursed his lips. You had never seen Namjoon this furious. You supposed maybe you did push his buttons a little too hard.
“Forget it,” Namjoon said and his members seemed to let go of their collective breaths.
You were always too stubborn for your own good. “No. Finish what you started, Namjoon. Enlighten me as to why you think I don’t take care of my own.”
He glanced around the parking structure and at his bandmates and then said, “Let’s not fight in public.”
December 2017
Namjoon turned and went back to the elevators, his body thrumming and pulsing. You and the rest of the guys followed close behind. The entire trip to his studio, his wrath, frustration, and sense of righteousness churned until he felt as if he would explode.
The door closed to his studio. You leaned against the door, arms crossed. “Alright, Namjoon,” you said. “Now let’s fight in private.”
“Shit,” he heard several of the members mutter.
Namjoon just clenched his jaw, the pulse in his cheek betraying his controlled fury. “I just find it interesting that you bought a 112 million won car instead of helping your family.”
“What do you know of my family and what help they need?” you growled.
“Your father said — ”
“My father is a liar and a cheat. If your righteous indignation is based on anything he said, then your data set is corrupted.”
“I know you’re mad at your dad, but you needn’t slander his name,” said Namjoon, doggedly pursuing his point. “It shouldn’t matter that you don’t get along. Your father needed help with his business and you just left him to flounder.”
“You know nothing about me or my father,” you spat.
“Well, who’s fault is that?” Namjoon persisted.
You pushed off the door, hands balled in tight fists. “It’s certainly not mine because it’s none of your fucking business!”
“It is now that we’ve all given your father money —”
“WHAT?!?” You slammed your hands over your mouth, your face horrified. “What?” you repeated in a whisper.
Seokjin held his hand out to forestall whatever Namjoon had been about to say. “Your father asked us not to tell you, and we didn’t want you to feel embarrassed, Y/N. He told Namjoon he needed 225 million won —”
“HE WHAT?!?” You looked like you were going to throw up.
“— and that you refused to give him any money. We thought it was because you didn’t have it —”
“No,” you gasped. “Nonononononononono!” you wailed. You collapsed onto Namjoon’s couch.
“You were so angry that night, your father didn’t want to upset you,” added Yoongi gently. “He didn’t want to cause us any trouble.”
“How much? How much did you give him? Please tell me you didn’t give him the full amount,” you begged.
Namjoon started to feel a little bad at causing you this much distress — but really, you should feel a tiny bit guilty for not helping your father when you clearly could have.
“We each gave him about 32 million won,” Namjoon said. He tried not to feel smug but he knew it came out in his response.
You sagged against his sofa, breaths coming in shallow and fast. “Oh my god,” you choked. “There’s no way I can pay you back this much right away. It will take me a few months to liquidate assets and move things around,” you said. “Unless you want stock or property in kind,” you appended awkwardly.
“It was a gift, noona,” Jungkook said. “You don’t have to pay us back.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Jungkook?” you snapped. “Of course I have to pay you back. My father is a con artist.” Your voice started to rise sharply. “He does this every time — racks up debt with shady business practices and then flees the scene or gets someone else to clean up after him.”
Namjoon’s earlier confidence started to fade. “What? I’m sure it’s not as awful as you’re making it, noona. Business requires a lot of capital and lenders.”
You looked as if you wanted to rip his face off. He gulped and put more distance between the two of you.
“I suppose you know all about my father, don’t you, Namjoon? How clever and charming and funny he is,” you hissed. “Of course you don’t believe me. I’ve only been his daughter my entire life.”
“I —” he sputtered.
“Did you know that I had just finished paying off his debts from his Taiwanese creditors? That was also several hundred million won, by the way.”
“Oh.” Namjoon felt like an asshole. He looked around at his bandmates and they all seemed similarly abashed.
You clearly were just getting started. “I am also paying around 68 million won a year for my brother’s college tuition as well as paying off the additional mortgages my father took out on my parents’ house. Would you like an itemized list of that payment?” you asked rhetorically. “I think it’s about half a million won a month. But tell me, Namjoon. Tell me how I should take care of my family.”
“I — I didn’t know,” Namjoon said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“You’re sorry. You didn’t realize.” Your voice dripped with scorn.
You were just being cruel now. He obviously felt bad — and had just apologized — why were you being so ungracious about it?
“After all, he’s never hit you. He’s never tried to smother you. He’s never held a butcher knife to your throat or tried to beat you to death with a wooden post.” Your voice was a tightly controlled whip. “So, of course, I’m the ungrateful daughter. I’m the dishonorable one. Is that the narrative he sold you, Namjoon?”
“Yes,” he whispered. Namjoon’s body coursed with shame.
“Did he really do all those things to you, noona?” Jungkook asked quietly.
“No,” you said. “Some of it was to my mother.”
“Fuck,” he heard his members curse, echoing his own tumultuous thoughts.
“What really happened that night at your studio?” asked Taehyung.
Your breath hitched. “I — he —” You took a deep breath, held a few counts, and then let it go. “He asked me for money and I said, ‘No.’”
Jungkook’s head popped up. “Noona, did he — did he hurt you that night?”
You looked away. “Yes.”
“I thought — when I came back into the room, I thought I saw your father with his hands around your neck — but it was so fast because next thing I knew, he was shouting ‘Help!’ in English and was checking on you so I thought I was seeing things.” Jungkook paused. “He was strangling you, wasn’t he?”
You nodded and stared at your hands. You refused to look at any of Namjoon’s fellow members. Namjoon felt horrible.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” asked Seokjin, his face anguished.
“No one ever believes me,” you said softly. “Not after they meet him.”
Namjoon wanted to cry.
“No one?” Jimin asked.
“They always think it’s a one time thing or an Asian thing. After all, what Asian kid hasn’t been hit by their parents?”
Namjoon disagreed but saw Yoongi nod silently in agreement.
“They always say it’s a one time loss of temper or accident.” You wrung your hands. “My mother would make me apologize for making my father angry enough to beat me.” You laughed ruefully. “I think once I had to apologize for making my father hurt his hand because he hit me so hard.” You hiccuped a sad sound and your face crumpled as you blinked back tears.
“Oh, noona,” cried Jimin as he wrapped himself around you.
You stiffened in his embrace but tried to relax when you noted his distress. You stiffened once again when the more physically demonstrative members piled on you with more hugs. You refused to look at Namjoon and Namjoon despised himself.
“I’m so sorry, noona,” Namjoon started to say but you cut him off with a curt “It’s fine” and attempted to stand, scattering the guys who had been hugging you.
“I’m sorry my father took advantage of your kindness. Thank you for being willing to help,” you said politely. “I will try to pay you all back as quickly as possible.”
When he and his bandmates protested, you glared at them, your features hard. “I will pay you back and you will allow it,” you gritted out. “If your own father did this, would you not want to make it right? Would you not be overwhelmed with shame until you could make your friends whole?”
They reluctantly assented and you seemed satisfied. You thanked them and after being forced to hug them all again, you left.
Though you had reverted back to polite speech and acted as if everything were back to normal, Namjoon could not help but feel as if he’d irrevocably smashed something fragile and precious. He felt the ponderous weight of regret.
Notes: I know I've been updating really quickly, but the next chapter maybe at least a week's time. I'm super super behind on a ton of work. (I really only have myself to blame.) So this will likely be the last update for at least a week or two. Thank you for your patience and reading!
Notes: If you are being hurt or abused, you're not alone. Get help at: 
National Domestic Violence Hotline Advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential.
Reckless Masterlist [IN PROGRESS]: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | Epilogue
For more of my fics, here is my Masterlist.
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fanficfreek · 7 hours ago
Your Eyes Tell | JJK | 72
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Logan walked through the door and immediately stripped down to her underwear. Even though she showered and changed at work, she still felt as though she were covered in blood. She tossed her scrubs into the washing machine, immediately starting a cleansing cycle with an added sanitizer. She added in her underclothes before walking off to the bathroom to wash off in the hottest water she could stand before scrubbing her entire body and repeating. She dried off and wrapped a towel around her before walking out to find JungKook sitting on the edge of the bed.
She didn’t know how he got in, and she didn’t care. Her lip began to tremble as he held arms out and waited. “It was horrible,” she broke down as she ran to him.
“Let it out,” he whispered as she cried into his shoulder.
“You shouldn’t be here, I…”
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You need me.”
“Thank you,” she sobbed.
He rubbed her back and kissed her damp hair, not caring that her towel was soaking into his clothes.
“Do you need to scream?”
She pulled away and looked up at him. “What?”
“Scream-cry. It’s therapeutic.”
“I might not stop.”
“That’s okay. I’ll stay here until you do.”
She shook her head and looked away. “He’s my favorite patient. And he’s been through so much…”
“We were told that you saved him today, and that… it was gruesome.”
“He saw his mother brutally murdered when he was little. When he’s on his meds, he’s charming and funny… but when he goes off…” her lip trembled. “Today, he bit chunks out of his shoulders and told me… that he remembered them doing that to his mother. He was compelled to see what it felt like,” her shoulders shook. “He apologized to me,” she cried. “He’s the one who is suffering, and he apologized to me.”
“Oh my God,” he pulled her tighter as she began to scream into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“I feel like I failed! I’ve been so busy that I haven’t visited him in a few days! I would have known when he stopped taking his meds!”
“Get it out,” he rubbed her back, kissing her hair over and over, holding her until she could no longer breathe. It took her a long time to calm down and by then, she could no longer breathe out of her nose.
“I’m not a pretty crier,” she sniffed.
“You’re pretty no matter what you do,” he corrected her while wiping under her eyes.
“I’m so tired, Kookie,” she spoke in English. “I’m so fucking tired.”
“Let me take care of you, Baby,” he kissed her forehead.
She nodded as she rested her head against his shoulder.
He lay in bed and watched her sleep. He was worried about her, on several different levels. First, she had a stressful job dealing with people in extremely poor mental health. That was evident from the events of that day. On top of that were the long days of double and triple shifts. There was no way any human could keep up with this type of stress for a long period of time and not face consequences.
He wondered how she would be, mentally, if he didn’t sneak away regularly to come see her. He wondered how she would take care of herself if he didn’t fill her refrigerator with gimbap and microwaved rice every week. He wondered how she’d react if he just moved her things over to his place.
He wanted to talk to her so badly, to get a feel for where she was mentally at that moment, but he also knew that she desperately needed sleep. And on top of everything else was his ex-girlfriend who was stalking them.
She suddenly sucked in a breath, her eyes popping open as she nearly jumped out of the bed.
“I’ve got you, Baby,” he reached for her. “You’re safe,” he kissed her hair. “You’re safe,” he repeated.
She clamped her eyes shut and held tightly to him, a new round of tears forming that she was fighting back.
“Breathe,” he whispered against her hair.
She let out a breath and relaxed her shoulders. “Thank you.”
“Are you hungry? Shall I make some hot tea?”
“Which one?” he laughed lightly.
He pattered off to the kitchen in only a pair of sweatpants and went to work, throwing together some spicy chicken and rice. She rubbed her face and looked around for a moment before following him in. She stepped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his back as he rubbed her hands with his left while cooking with his right.
“You’re going to be an awesome roommate,” she kissed his back.
“I do laundry, too,” he glanced back at her.
“You spoil me.”
“We could get a head start and move you in tomorrow.”
“And just leave this place empty for five months?”
“Why not?” He felt her sigh against his back and knew the answer was not the one he was hoping for.
“I’m close to the hospital here, and today was proof that I need to be close by.”
He continued to cook, quietly, before nodding his head. “You’re always right.”
“I know that’s not the answer you wanted.”
“I’ll deal with it.”
She pulled back and rubbed her hands up his back, over his shoulders, and down his arms, feeling the tight muscles under his skin. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” he smirked.
“You’re stressed.”
“I’m stressed about you,” he agreed. “I don’t like you working so hard and being here by yourself.”
“We’re talking about you now.”
“I… am looking forward to our trip to Pyeongchang.”
She smiled as she once again hugged him. “300 days and you still like me.”
“That’s because you like my cooking,” he held up a spoon and waited as she took a taste.
“More chili paste.”
“See? You get me,” he grinned at her.
She kissed his back before walking off to make rice.
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alpacaparkaseok · 7 hours ago
Upcoming Fic Alert!
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→ Pairing: getaway driver!Jimin x reader
→ warnings/tags/genre: SFW, Jimin is a getaway driver because why not, reader is a gem, fluff, humor, hint of angst, e2l, pickpocketing, annoyed minivan, shameless flirting, Jimin gets rejected lol, kinda a mafia au I guess?
→ a/n: here’s a preview for the next summer request I’m working on! Thanks guys for all the fun suggestions/requests! @dulce-pjm​, this one is yours! I’ve never done an au like this before, so let me know if this sounds fun! As always, I appreciate and love hearing from you, you offer so much motivation!
“Right, right!” Namjoon barks from the passenger seat, sitting low and clutching a suspicious looking package close to his chest. “Jimin, I said turn ri-”
Reaching forward and cranking the music a little louder, Jimin effectively drowns out Namjoon’s angry shouts as AC/DC’s “TNT” blasts through the car. There’s a  small gap in cars passing through the intersection, the green light turning yellow. 
“JIMIN!” Namjoon screeches as the light turns red and cars begin to move. Jimin smiles wickedly, looking like a kid in a candy store as he floors it, throwing the car to the left and narrowly missing a FedEx truck that blares its horn at him. 
Namjoon peels his face off of the passenger side window with no shortage of disgust, glaring over at a still-smiling Jimin. He opens his mouth to speak, however no words come out as Jimin maneuvers onto a side street and turns into a parking garage. 
“Where-” Namjoon begins, but Jimin simply leans over the console and unbuckles Namjoon’s seatbelt. 
“Take that elevator,” he points to a gleaming silver elevator less than fifteen feet away, “up to the fifth floor. Mr. Bianchi is waiting.”
Namjoon gulps audibly, making Jimin chuckle under his breath. “I- I didn’t know that he was here.”
“That’s the point, Namjoon.” Jimin goes the extra mile, reaching across the dumbstruck passenger and pushing his door open. “Out you go. Been a pleasure.”
Namjoon still clings to the package, offering Jimin a nervous looking nod of his head before stepping out of the car. 
“Oh, and Namjoon?”
“Wipe your drool off of my window. It’s not a good look for me.”
Namjoon’s face is flushed a deep red as he sees the spit lingering on the passenger side window, no doubt a result of the crazy left turn just a couple minutes prior. Once it’s been wiped with his pristine suit jacket, Namjoon silently turns and heads to the elevator. 
The second he inside and out of sight, Jimin lets out a long sigh, rolling his neck. He whistles a merry tune as he pulls the car into a stall alongside a sleek black Mercedes, which will serve as his discreet car for now. Police will come snooping sooner or later for a bright red Ferrari. They’ll find it, abandoned in the parking garage with no trace of Park Jimin. 
Although they may be interested to find Kim Namjoon’s wallet inside the console. 
Jimin laughs to himself as he throws the wallet inside, remembering how Namjoon was none the wiser as Jimin slipped his wallet from his pocket in the act of unbuckling his seatbelt. No, he was too scared by the idea of Mr. Bianchi to notice that Jimin was the real threat. 
Locking the Ferrari after double checking that he’s left no trace to his own identity, Jimin slips into the Mercedes and starts it up. Grinning at the sleek interior, he rolls out, heading toward the exit. 
He slows to a stop at the toll booth, rolling down his window and grabbing the pay ticket. 
“Ticket, please.”
A soft voice speaks to him, making Jimin blink. He’s so accustomed to the deep and rough tones typically associated with his line of work, he’d nearly forgotten what normal people sound like. 
Jimin starts, clearing his throat and offering a small smile. “Oh, right. Here you go,” he mumbles, passing his ticket along to the girl in the booth. 
You’re pretty, Jimin notices. Not in the usual, once-over kind of pretty. Here, in the strange lighting of the parking garage, your hair falls into your face as you scan his ticket and purse your lips a little as you wait for another ticket to be printed off. 
“Aren’t you too pretty to be working down here?” Jimin drawls, leaning out of the window just enough for you to see him clearly. He knows he looks good; clad in a dark suit that matches the interior of his car. His hair is light, freshly dyed and perfectly styled. A little wind-blown, but surely nice still. 
You hardly glance his way, though. Instead you’re grabbing a pen and circling something on the new ticket. 
“That’ll be $24.73. Are you paying with cash or card?”
“I-” Jimin coughs, the words quite literally getting stuck in his throat. “Excuse me?” He manages, mouth falling open at your response. Did you just ignore him?
“Cash or card, sir.” You reply, finally turning in your stool enough to face him fully. When Jimin can’t seem to form a response, you lean forward with a twinkle of amusement. “Take your time, I’ve got all day. The people behind you, though...”
The way you give a pointed look behind his car has Jimin jolting a bit, afraid that the police are on his tail. Instead he notices a minivan behind him, waiting to get out. The mother at the wheel looks absolutely exhausted, resting her head against the window as her child screams in the backseat. 
“Oh,, card, please.”
He all but throws his card at you, toes curling in excitement when his fingertips brush up against yours. 
What has gotten into him?
Did he or did he not just assist in pulling off a major heist?
“Would you like a receipt?”
A smile tugs at the corner of your lips, and Jimin finds himself leaning a little further out of the car at the sight. 
“You sure about that?”
Jimin completely bypasses your teasing though, taking his card back and staring up at you with furrowed brows. “Did you really not hear what I said earlier?” 
Now it’s you leaning out of the window, and Jimin finds himself holding his breath as you give him a long look. Mirth sparkles in your eyes, and a hint of something else. Something harder. 
“You really think I’m too pretty to be working down here?” You ask innocently. Jimin hates the way his stomach flips at the way you’re gazing down at him. 
He attempts to put on his best smolder, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, most definitely.”
Your grin is so at odds with the innocent look you had just a moment before. With a perfectly manicured finger, you motion for him to come closer. Jimin complies before he even realizes it, frowning at the way his body has quickly betrayed him. He’s practically hanging out of the window now, hanging on to your every word.
“I’m too pretty for you, too.” Then, with a flourish, you punch the button that lifts the barrier. “Have a nice day, sir.”
You give him a cheery wave, and Jimin has half a mind to get out of the car right then and there, but he’s caught between asking you to marry him or demanding free parking passes for your belligerent attitude. 
You notice his predicament, grinning when Jimin jumps a little as the minivan behind him honks their horn. He groans, settling down and shooting you a glare. 
“I believe that’s your cue, Mr. Park,” you croon, sending him off with a wink. 
It’s only when Jimin has made it several blocks and nearly combusted with annoyance at his rejection that he realizes with a sudden chill that something about that whole interaction wasn’t quite right. 
He never told you his name.
this was just a lil preview for an upcoming project/request! thoughts?? I wanna know what your guys’ thoughts are on this kind of au!! I’m excited for this to come out soon!
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