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deepseavibez · 1 year

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Nerve_30 [E] || KNJ

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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]

Prompt - @casnextdoor

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Part 30 - Finale [V]

Part 30 - Finale [E]

Epilogue

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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;

Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.

Warning - Cheating(Aftermath); Angst; Attempted Sexual Assault(Aftermath); Heavy Angst; Anger; Anxiety; Overwhelming Feelings; Memories tied to a traumatic event; Psychological Trauma.; PTSD; Sadness; Emotional Hurt; Comfort; Hopelessness; Guilt; Self-loathing; Self-hate;

Word Count - 7k

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‘I just wish you would have told me.’

You sighed for the twentieth time that night.

‘I wanted to tell you the truth, Yu,’ you paused to gather the right words. ‘But I also didn’t want you to hate him. I didn't want to lose him.' Because hating him would hurt you.

'Regardless of what he thinks of me, he does love you and your sister. You both meant something to him.'

You heard Yuna snort over the phone. 'I don't know what to believe, honestly. For all we know, he could have been looking at Helen and I, in the same way, and we just… didn’t notice.'

'No.’ You disputed her claims immediately. 'It was a different love for you and Helen. He enjoyed taking care of you two–you were family. He took a lot of it in stride. Periods, permission slips, even boyfriend phases. He was very proud of the both of you. And he loved being that so-called father figure as well.' You bit your bottom lip before continuing. 'It was just me, that he… you know…'

You sat in silence, waiting for her to speak as you traced the purple whale pattern on the pillow in front of you.

‘You can’t imagine how unbelievably mad I am at you’

You closed your eyes and dropped your head back onto the nook by the windowsill, the pre-dawn sky keeping you company by the window, and Namjoon in bed across from you, one arm curled under his head as he played with his phone in the other.

‘Considering the fact that it's barely after 5am, and we’re both on the phone…’

‘Don’t be a smartass with me right now.’ She scolded.

Honestly, you wanted to feel bad that her wedding night was ruined in all her concern for you, but it’s not like your evening was any better.

‘You being mad at me, is making me mad, Yuna.’ You had to be brutally honest with her and feed into your denial. ‘I did not have to tell you.’

‘And that’s fair, y/n. Your pain is your pain.’ She didn’t miss a beat. ‘I mean, I know that you would need to come to terms with it on your own… but,’ you almost smiled, as you imagine her eyes going into slits, ‘Can you honestly tell me that I was not the reason you kept this to yourself. All this time.’

You couldn’t deny what she was saying. Not at all. Feeling annoyingly cornered, you looked at Namjoon, admiring his solid edges, and the frown that kept his tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

Namjoon had taken care of you all night. He came through with the oreos and coffee, like he promised, but you had no strength to go into the kitchen so he brought them to the room and you both sat on the floor.

It was not hard to make conversation with Namjoon. You could talk about work, about his work, about the reality of life and your dreams of the future, but mostly you vented about your past, your Dad, Kwang and his actions.

And Namjoon listened.

When you were finally settled, he brushed out your hair, and climbed into bed next to you, holding you as close to him as possible.

You were exhausted enough to fall asleep in mere minutes, but it didn’t last long. You had a nightmare that woke you up and pushed you over the edge into a panic, Namjoon brought you back to reality. You wanted to shower again, this time he sat on the lid of the toilet and took you back to bed when you were done.

It was hard to get back to sleep, even harder to be present in the moment and feel the comfort that your husband's arms could usually provide.

So instead of tossing and turning you grabbed your Mono blanket and sat at the window nook. He stayed awake with you, not pushing or forcing you, just giving you space, but still making sure you knew that he wasn’t going anywhere.

That’s when Kenta called.

Yuna wasn’t like you. She wore her emotions on her sleeve but she didn’t cry at the drop of a hat the way you did. She would rather fight, argue, use her anger as a shield before breaking down into hysterics. So when you heard her crying over the phone, Kenta apologizing for disturbing you so early in the morning, knowing she needed you, you instinctively placed her at the forefront of your priorities.

It took some time to get her to calm down, even utter a coherent sentence without the words ‘I’m sorry’ tagged at the end of it, but she was okay, and you felt better talking to her. You just weren’t a fan of the direction that conversation headed after. And you were tired, exhausted even – so being nice, being kind… you had no energy for any of it.

‘I won’t apologize, Yuna. I’d still rather you didn’t know.’ Honesty was the only choice when you were cornered as you were. You had made your choice to keep things under wraps a long time ago – you would make that same choice all over again if you had to. Protecting Yuna was a priority. ‘I’d rather you lived your life, happy, carefree, with at least some version of a family to turn to.’

‘Oh, that’s real cute, y/n.’ Sarcasm dripped from her tone. ‘A psychotic sister, and an uncle who’s a sexual offender, I hit the motherfucking jackpot.’

You weren’t irritated with the jibe, mostly because she sounded faraway. You were too tired to actually feel anything. You shook your head, trying to keep yourself present.

‘I didn’t want to take you away from your family.’ You brushed your fingers through your hair, gripping lightly in frustration. ‘I know you’ll always choose me. And I… I couldn't do that to you.’

‘Y/n, I wouldn’t choose you for the hell of it. I’d choose you because they were wrong. They are wrong. For different reasons.’

You made a face, not wanting to talk about this anymore. ‘Can we drop it? Please? I don’t like that you’re mad at me, but you have a right to be and that’s okay, but I need to deal with this on my own and I really don’t want to talk about it anymore.’

Anxiety got the better of you as you were met with silence on her end. Did you push her too far away?

‘I’m sorry, y/n.’

‘Stop it.’ You made a face. ‘Stop hurting.’ You brushed her off. 'There's nothing for you to be sorry about. None of it was your fault.' You turned your neck to the side and stretched a little. Your body was aching for some godforsaken reason. Maybe it was the fatigue. 'You can’t control his actions and you of all people should know that.’

‘Can you blame me? Would you be able to rest easy knowing you aided and abetted something so despicable?’

‘You didn’t know.’

‘Yeah, whose fault is that?’

‘For fucks, sake Yuna, what good has it done?’ You didn’t bother to hold back your frustration. ‘So now that you know you, what good does it do? You literally disowned him, the only parental figure you had left.’

‘I am not like you, y/n! You may keep your ties with your father, albeit at a distance, but I can’t keep ties with someone when all I’ve ever known about them was a complete load of bullshit! I burn bridges and I don’t regret it.’

You pulled your lips together in an effort to keep your mouth shut. Because Yuna was right. You tolerated way more from your father than you should have.

‘Yes, I miss my parents. Yesterday, more than ever. But I know and love genuine people that I choose to consider my family. Kenta, Yoshi and Jinx, Taehyung, Hoseok… you, y/n. And I would never compromise on those relationships, especially not for something so wrong.’

You took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

You understood what she was saying, but you were not gonna budge. Internally you knew you would go back and make the same decision. To keep it from her. Because no one, absolutely no one deserves to know that they loved and cared, let alone respected, someone capable of sexual assault.

It was a mind boggling thing, that it was so ‘normal’ and there were so many stories of it, and so many women that had lived through it… but having it happen to you, or having actually known someone with those thoughts and the daring to follow through with them…

'I would have fully supported you if you decided that you wanted to file a formal report and put him behind bars. Hell, I’d go as far as throwing away the key without batting an eye! But now it’s pointless, because you let him go!’

You couldn't stay quiet this time. 'Back then maybe it would have given me something, even a sense of satisfaction! But not now. My father didn't do it when it mattered most, Yu. He didn't listen to me, he didn't file a report, and he didn't protect me. And I have lived my whole goddamn life just fine… whether Kwang was around or not.' You met Namjoon’s eye, his head tilted in your direction, watching over you and you let his strength fill you with pride. ' I did pretty damn well for myself. And I will be just fine for the rest of my life. Because I don't want to make this a big thing. I don't want the stress of paperwork and legal fees and reporters having a field day over my life. That's my choice. That's for me. And everyone who loves me… should be able to afford me that.'

You didn't know what she was going to say next, but you knew whatever it was you would have an answer for it, because you were so tired of explaining yourself, when you really didn't need to.

I can’t say I agree with that, y/n.’ Yuna admitted softly, causing your anger to quickly die down. ‘But I also don’t know what to do, how to feel, what to say to you to make this right for you… I can’t even imagine what you’re going through,’ she clicked her tongue, ‘or what you’ve gone through.’

‘As long as you don’t start crying again, I think we’ll be fine.’

‘Yeah,’ her voice dropped like she turned away from the phone, ‘Kenta is standing by.’

You chuckled half-heartedly. ‘Give the man a break. ‘It’s only your first night of marriage and already Kenta had to call for back-up.’ You tried to tease her, but your efforts fell flat when she didn’t meet you halfway.

‘He’s worried about you too.’

‘I’m fi --,’ a dull waft of déjà vu overcame you. You used the same words on the same man the night before. You closed your eyes and pulled your knees up, to rest your chin against them. ‘I’ll be fine.’

It was actually so hard to keep reassuring her. There was never a need to save a conversation with Yuna before. To think of what to say, to try and change the subject or make a joke.

It felt forced, and you were not in the mood.

Actually, no. You wanted to tell her the truth, come clean about all the gory details and yell and scream and cry and just let it all bubble up so you wouldn’t have to mask your pain from her, or act in front of her, or hold your tongue like it was the seams of a corset that needed to be tied tight together.

But Kwang Jae was still her family. And she was still reeling from the discovery of the reality of him.

You couldn’t add to it. Not with her. You might never be able to talk about it with her, simply because of who she was to him… and to you.

‘When?’

The question had you blinking your eyes open. ‘Huh?’

‘When can we talk about it? No secrets. No filters. Everything.’

You inhaled shakily, as softly as you possibly could, because if you cried, she would hear it in your voice. It was stupid for such an honest question to rattle you, it was even more stupid for you to hold onto the pain, the secret, like it was only yours to keep, only yours to deal with. ‘I don’t know… if I ever can talk about it.’

‘I leave in three days, babe.’

You blew out a puff of air. ‘Maybe the distance will do us some good.’ You didn’t want to hurt her. But it’s not like she knew how to handle you either. You were a victim of her Uncle and though you had never considered her as such, she was still Kwang Jae’s niece.

‘I don’t want to leave like this. I don’t want us to have time apart and not talk and be awkward. We can’t have distance like this, y/n…this has happened to us before and I don’t want us to go through that again. Just the mere thought of it hurts already.’

Once again you were reminded of how selfish you were when you took over Arem, pushing Yuna so far away she had no choice but to live life without you for a while.

‘I can’t miss you, y/n… It hurts to miss you. Physically, I can deal… but emotionally…’

‘Of course you have to go.’ Your heart broke for her, but you had to be practical. ‘You were always going to go, Yu.’ You swiped away tears when they fell out of your eyes and you sniffed shortly. ‘We need some time to figure things out, that doesn’t mean we aren’t friends anymore. You are definitely not going to lose me.’

You could practically feel her panic when she said, ‘I can change plans easily.’

Your face twisted in annoyance, something miserable. You knew she was pulling at straws. Namjoon caught your eye and you nodded softly, reassuring him. ‘Tell you what, I’m coming with you to set up and when we’re over there, I’ll answer whatever you want me to answer, within reason. But for now, for today when we finalize packing and whatever else we need to… be normal. For me. For now. Please.’

‘Kinda hard for me to be normal, when you leave pastel pink lingerie in my en-suite bathroom – the material is exquisite by the way.’

You swallowed hard in relief as she changed the subject. You wiped away stray tears before you answered. ‘Figured you’d want something pink.’ You looked at the clock, 5.30am. You rubbed your eyes.

‘You know, it still hasn’t hit me that I got married yesterday.’

‘Hmm,’ you smiled sadly. ‘Yuna Mei. A whole wife.’ You chuckled wetly. ‘I think it’s been a long time coming, Yu. You’ve done so much alone, been through so much pain with the wrong ones… we’ve always believed that the universe rewards accordingly.’

‘I really am lucky to have him.’ You could hear sadness in her voice.

‘What are you thinking?’ You prompted her, not willing to ignore any of her reservations, no matter what they were about.

‘I thought she would show up. At least, a small part of me hoped.’

You knew who she was talking about. You also knew how much strength it took her to admit to you of all people that she missed her sister immensely.

You would always rather Yuna tell you the truth, about all her feelings. She didn’t need to hold back on your behalf.

‘I’m sorry about Helen.’ You had the decency to be genuine about that statement. You would tolerate Helen any day for Yuna.

‘Yeah,’ she scoffed, ‘But I mean it was a long shot anyway. And let’s not forget that she wasn’t welcome.’ You heard the disappointment in her voice, but you couldn’t comfort her. Having Helen there would have been the cherry on the top. ‘God I can just imagine if she were there, what a fuck up it would have been. Yuna went silent for a minute then she snorted, ‘Fucking Neenah.’

‘What?’ Your eyebrows furrowed and you sat up, instantly alert. ‘What did you say?’

‘What?’ Yuna sounded confused. ‘Neenah?’

‘Yeah, who’s Neenah?’ You swung your legs over the nook, as Namjoon got out of the bed.

‘Neenah as in Helen.’ She offered as if it was common knowledge.

‘What do you mean Neenah as in Helen? Helen is Helen. Whose Neenah?’

‘Helen is Neenah! Y/n, why are you freaking out? What’s this about?’

Namjoon mouthed the word ‘speaker’ as he came down on his haunches next to you.

‘Because of the name Neenah, Yuna.’ You moved the phone away from your ear and tapped the speaker icon. ‘Since when is Helen, Neenah? She doesn’t have a second name.’

‘She doesn’t have a second name. It’s Neenah Jae. You know, as in Kwang Jae, so Neenah Jae. She practices under that name. Actually it’s her new name. Well, no, wait, it’s not actually new, because that’s the name she’s used ever since she started practicing law. Such a fucking waste of a gesture now that I know the truth.’

‘How have I not known this?’ You stared at the phone like it was a bug, not really understanding what she was droning on about. ‘And isn’t it illegal to have a different name.’

‘No. I mean there is this ethics thing that considers it ‘misleading’ if she uses two names.’ You could imagine her rolling her eyes at the word misleading. ‘But unless there’s improper motive or fraudulent activities tied to why she uses one name socially and another professionally, they can’t actually do anything to her. As for why you didn’t know, I mean it probably never came up. It’s not like we discuss her. She usually just leaves a bad taste behind.’

‘Why change it though?’ Namjoon mouthed to you and repeated the question. ‘Why did she change it?’

Yuna clicked her tongue. ‘Because she’s Unc -- Kwang’s favorite.’ You didn’t miss the way she caught herself. ‘No, but seriously, I never needed to change my name. Mum and Dad gave it to me and I kept their last name, because I like the link to them, even if it's a painful connection. But Helen took Kwang’s last name and somehow it worked out because we showed appreciation for our parents and for Uncle Kwang for taking care of us. It was supposed to be a grand gesture of sorts.’

‘Neenah though?’ you questioned where it even came from.

‘Oh yeah, that’s what Unc, Fuck!’ She cursed and continued, 'Kwang used to call her when we were little and ran around in diapers. I was Nana and she was Neenah.’

You looked back at Namjoon, unable to follow her down memory lane. He placed his hand on your knee and added pressure that somehow eased the motions of your building anxiety. He mouthed ‘Gambit’.

‘Did she work at Gambit?’

You understood what he was doing. Namjoon was being logical, he was tying up every single loose end, because he knew how important this piece of information was.

‘Yep. Straight out of law school she started as an intern and did her articles and stuff for a small start-up part of the original firm. But you know Heli, she climbed on people, not ladders. Eventually she made her way to the main office at Gambit – the best of the best.’

‘Yu,’ you contemplated saying your next words, but went ahead anyway, ‘how much did Kenta tell you about what Huru found out about Maiya?’

‘Not, a lot. I mean I know the surface level bullshit. You know, her tragic backstory, blaming someone else, the mastermind being someone else.’ Yuna sounded regretful. ‘I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t know how deep this went until recently. It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks.’

‘No, I understand. But like, Yu, this is… ‘ you looked at Namjoon for a little help and he was already so broody and angry and protective and this new piece of information was so unexpected, ‘I mean she’s Maiya’s lawyer Yuna.’

Yuna stayed silent on her end, so you continued.

‘When Huru met up with us at Arem, he had a bunch of information at his fingertips. One of them being that her lawyer was a Neenah Jae that worked in Gambit Associates.’

‘Fuck. Me. Do you think Heli –?’

‘No,’ you said too fast to shut down her theory, even if you knew how plausible it was. ‘She stopped taking Maiya’s cases for a while now. And when we visited Gambit, they said Neenah had left. She doesn’t work there anymore.’

‘You’re saying she left work? Why? She loved that job!’

You shot Namjoon a pained look. This was obviously a coincidence. One skirting a fine line.

‘I’m not sure.’ You pushed your hair back and held your head. ‘I’m sorry… for my reaction. I just, it’s just a little paranoia settling in. So Heli was Maiya’s lawyer and worked her brother’s cases pro bono. It’s work. And it’s a small world.’

‘Not that small,’ Namjoon muttered.

‘Wait, no, what if she’s involved?’

‘Come on, Heli is mean and rude and really really bitchy…’ you tried to comfort her, this would be too much of a blow for her, ‘but let’s not read too much into this. We have no proof. And honestly, right now, we don’t have to. Maiya is behind bars, and whoever else was a part of this has to find a new pawn before they get to us again.’

‘I hope you’re right.’

‘I am. Don’t let this bother you, Yuna. If Heli or Neenah’s reputation precedes her, she probably took a lot of cases pro bono, not just Maiya’s.’ You didn’t wait for her to reply, you needed to get off the phone, to talk with Namjoon, to make sense of things. ‘Now go, you gotta get back to Kenta. I’ll see you later.’

‘Wait, y/n, --,’

‘I’m fine, I promise. There’s nothing to worry about.’

‘No, wait, do you have my necklace? Can you bring it over later?’

You scrunch your eyebrows. ‘Yeah, hold on.’

‘That’s why Kenta and I turned back last night. I know it’s stupid. And I know’ you’d keep it safe, but it’s something I have to have in my hand, you know.’ She babbled as she explained herself. And it wasn’t necessary. Because you did the same when you locked your doors. You’d walk all the way upstairs and back down again just to do a double check. Some things needed to be held, touched, seen in front of your eyes, a reassurance that it was real.

You motioned for Namjoon to reach over to grab your clutch from the floor near the bed. You flipped it open and felt around the small zipper compartment on the inside. ‘Yep, right here.’ You held it up… and did a double take.

‘Thank you so much for kee –,’

Yuna’s voice drowned out as you turned over the pendant in your palm.

Mum and Dad gave this to us when we were little. The clasp is loose, the memory of Yuna’s remarks from while she was getting ready before the ceremony echoed in your head.

Your mouth dropped open and your blood ran cold. You closed your eyes, and looked at it again.

‘Y/n?’ Yuna’s voice found its way to you.

‘Babe, I have it. I- um, I’ll see you later.’ You mumbled into the phone, ignoring Yuna’s protests before clicking the power button to end the call.

You tried to rationalize what you were seeing, you tried to justify any of the scenarios your brain scooped up, no matter how implausible. You couldn’t.

Before you knew it your legs were moving. It was like tunnel vision. Nothing mattered. Not your pain, or your exhaustion, or your trauma. Not Yuna, not even Namjoon. In that moment you were focused on one thing, and one thing only.

Throwing the door of your home office open, you raced in and searched through the floor plans on the desk and pushed aside any other item in your way until you found what you were looking for. A thin silver strand caught your eye. Breathing hard, you pull it up and compare the two pendants.

Silver circular backing, the etching of a compass, the North star, in diamantes. ‘Shit!’

You felt the heat of Namjoon’s body before he placed his hands on your waist. ‘Wanna tell me what’s going on?��

You held up your hand. Yuna’s necklace. ‘Yuna’s parents gave her this. They gave it to both daughters when they were really young. I kept this for her, because she wanted to use it today, but the clasp has always been a piece of work.’ You closed your eyes against the heavy truth. ‘That’s for damn sure.’

Namjoon was smart, but he couldn’t read minds – even you knew that. But you couldn’t explain, not when you were still figuring it out yourself.

To see y/n’s perfect little world crumble when she gets the guy, the company, both parents, money, fame, respect, and the sister… Let me grab a front row seat and popcorn.

Or really, it was always right there, in front of you and you just couldn’t bring yourself to accept it.

Your husband reached over to trace both necklaces. ‘Talk to me, baby. One belongs to Yuna… and the other?’

‘Hobi and I found it outside the bar.’ You licked your lip. ‘Around where the picture was taken.’

You didn’t need to look back at him. Namjoon didn’t need prompting. You could practically hear the gears in his head.

Until finally, he said the words out loud. ‘So this is definitely Helen’s?’

You nod slowly and concentrate on breathing deeply so your thoughts didn’t get too clouded.

‘Huru said that Maiya had a roommate with access to the legal department. Right?’

You loved this man. He could be so rational, even if the world was collapsing around him. In turn, that stability gave you something to stand on. ‘He said she’s got a record of someone staying with her, during her college years, into her working life.’

Hobi’s voice rang in your head. But she said it was her roommate, we all heard her.

Then Huru’s voice. Because the roommate that I couldn’t find, remember her y/n, that apparently took the pictures, well she’s got some connection with Gambit. I know this because I don’t have a single speck of information on her, other than the fact that they paid for her college tuition

You moved the rest of the papers off the desk onto the floor – you had to sit down. Because this was…this was fucked up. First the Uncle and now you were being fucked over by the twin.

You lifted your legs and placed your socked feet on the office chair and you clutched at the edge of the desk.

I can’t find her. It’s like she never existed.

Because Neenah didn’t exist. It was Helen’s past and Neenah’s future.

Okay. Okay. Think, y/n. Maiya. What was the point of Maiya?

Maiya has gotten Mihlan out of his sticky situations solely because she’s had a really good lawyer backing her up. Neenah Jae. Unfortunately she decided she didn’t really need to offer her services as pro bono any longer. She’s up for senior partner.

So Maiya needed Helen’s help… desperately. But Neenah wouldn’t give her the time of day… not unless Maiya would do something for her first.

Was it really that deep though? To fuck with her own self-respect.

Maiya's voice from the club rang out. …the minute he was given to me to hold, I knew I would always protect him.

That made sense. And when Maiya mentioned that she had lost her brother all over again, because of you, she really meant that it was Helen that wanted you to leave Namjoon and lose it all, and when you didn’t, Neenah wouldn’t help Maiya. No wonder she was so unhinged.

Slowly, like the trickle of honey, the heavy, honest truth filled in all the blindspots.

You dropped your head into your hands and ran your fingers through your hair and tugged… hard.

You closed your eyes and rocked back and forth.

—-------

‘Y/n.’ Namjoon said his wife’s name, in an effort to stabilize her.

She shook her head, a half-hearted attempt to keep him out. When she kept rocking her body forward and tugged harder at her hair, he knew he had to do something.

‘Y/n,’ he said firmly and shackled both her wrists. The rocking stopped.

‘What the fuck is this shit?’ She kept her eyes closed as she whispered the words. ‘Honestly, what the fuck!’ She raised her head and her voice. ‘I don’t deserve this Namjoon, we don’t deserve any of it!’

He invaded her personal space and took her into his arms.

What else could he do? What could he possibly say that could make up for any of the shit she had to deal with in such a short space of time. It was like Y/n was allowed the time to heal and grow and be happy, only for all of that progress to be derailed.

He knew it wasn’t fair. Y/n didn’t deserve any of the bullshit that had been thrown her way in the course of the last few weeks.

‘I’m not the cause of Helen’s problems, Namjoon!’ She placed her head against his abdomen and curled her arms around him, pulling him closer. He bent down and pressed a kiss into her hair.

‘This is all my fault, Joon. If she’s behind this, if she’s the one that’s doing all this, I –, ‘ she broke off, her mouth open, the shock still on her face as she shook her head, confused, still processing, ‘Fuck!’ She dropped her forehead against him.

Namjoon wasn’t used to feeling this helpless. All he could do was be there for her right now.

Backtracking everything, relooking at the files and connecting the dots… There was so much to retrace. Not to mention he had a packed schedule, Arem opened the following week, Kenta and Yuna were moving and all of it came second to the battle y/n had to fight within herself.

Crushing y/n closer to him. The anger that coursed through Namjoon was unyielding. It coursed through his veins, his bloodstream, until the tendons in his neck stood out and his body burned because he had nowhere to put it. He couldn’t make love to his wife, he couldn’t make her forget, he couldn’t find her with his hands and his mouth and his words as he usually would, not in her current state. He couldn’t leave her alone and vent to his brothers either.

The most important thing to Namjoon was reassuring Y/n that he would never leave her, not for anything, especially not for something that was not her fault to begin with.

She nudged him away and hopped off the desk without warning. ‘I have to call Kenta.’

He grabbed her by her arm. ‘Y/n, he literally got married yesterday and he’s really worried about you.’

Her eyes flashed fire. ‘You can’t tell me that Kenta of all people didn’t know about this bullshit.’ He loved her fire. He would always rather see her fight and argue and use her smartass mouth, he would take a bitchy y/n anyday, over a helpless one.

‘You can’t just demand answers from him. Imagine how he’d feel if you’re wrong about him knowing. If he does know, I believe he would have a good reason for keeping it from us.’ He brushed his knuckles across her cheek. Did he think that Kenta knew about Helen? Namjoon couldn’t know for sure. Was he equally pissed at the possibility of Kenta not knowing? Hell yes. But he wasn’t about to enable y/n. ‘Trust him, okay? You can ask him later when we see him.’

He watched as she mulled over his words, savored the moment when she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. Good. Holding her back from doing anything rash would also save her from saying anything she didn’t mean.

Y/n would feel the effects twice over, if she hurt the people she loved, unintentional or not.

‘I don’t know what to do.’ It was a jagged statement. Something that made her look small and vulnerable.

Namjoon touched his nose to hers. ‘I think you can afford yourself a day to process everything, baby. You don’t have to always be so strong.’

‘I don’t feel anything.’ She protested, a stubborn curve on her lips.

‘Not knowing how you feel or how to feel, is not the same as not feeling anything at all.’

‘Stop it.’ He narrowed his eyes at her tone, immediately on guard. ‘Stop being so accommodating.’ Her voice rose an octave with each word. ‘Stop being so understanding, stop rationalizing, stop pushing, just stop loving me like this.’ She growled and placed a fist on his sternum to keep him at a distance from her. ‘Look at what we just found out. Really look at it! I’ve basically fucked your life over, your career. God knows what else she has planned. I am the reason you cheated on me.’

‘First of all,’ he placed his hands on her ass, refusing to let her distance herself. ‘You don’t know the specifics, y/n. You don’t know why Helen was actually there. You don’t know if it was her plan or a coincidence.’

Y/n scoffed and rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t be naive.’

‘You don’t have the right.’ He forced the statement through clenched teeth. ‘You don’t have the right to take responsibility. For any of it.’ He really, really wanted to bite her.

Y/n placed her forearms on his and glared, looking every bit a petulant, infuriating woman being told the truth they didn’t want to hear.

Namjoon looked at her pointedly, daring her to dispute. ‘Are you done with the generalizations? Want to make some more so I can shut them down?’

‘You sound like you’re pining for a fight, Namjoon.’

‘No, baby, you are.’ He squeezed her ass. ‘You have all this anger and all this pain and no place to put it and that’s why you’re snapping at me and you want to see if I will make good on your fears and walk away from you.’ He bent forward, stared into her eyes, and looked at her lips, but he didn’t kiss her. Not yet. Not this time. ‘I am not walking away. I am not folding. I am not giving you up. I don’t care who, what or why.’ He let her see how serious he was. ‘So if you want to fight, we’ll fight. You want me to ruin their lives and get rid of our problems permanently, I’ll do it. But it’s you and me, y/n.’ He whispered against her lips. ‘It’s always going to be you and me.’

Maybe it would seem like a long shot to keep fighting and clawing their way to each other, but it was the only thing that made sense to Namjoon. He would not let her push him away, not because of Kwang and definitely not for something like this.

He could see it as clear as day in her eyes, how terrified she was of losing him, of him getting hurt, and he wouldn’t let that fear win. Her bottom lip quivered, and she pushed hard enough that she got out of his hold and walked out of the study without another word.

Namjoon let her go. He watched her go, her bare feet, long legs walking away from him, his oversized t-shirt engulfing her small form... he was protective as a norm, but this feeling, the need to keep her safe, to protect her, to do anything for her fears and her pain to go away... it clawed at his heart. He didn’t like unfinished business. Not with y/n. But he also knew y/n needed space and whether she accepted it or not, her trust, her heart, her defenses were completely obliterated. He would have to hover and stay close and protect her, especially now that they had enemies so close.

He rubbed a hand over his face and stared at the two necklaces on the table. Sabotage and blackmail and guns… It seemed like something out of a movie. Helen Mei. Neenah Jae. Maiya Song.

Namjoon clicked his tongue and turned to look out the window of their study.

Kwang Jae was scum. Absolute scum. Fighting the urge to strangle Kwang with his bare hands, waiting out the red haze that coated his vision when he found the bastard lunging for her… He grit his teeth. Letting y/n make the final call was one of the hardest things he had to do.

And what y/n felt… how could he judge that? What he said was true. Her nerves were shot.

Emotionally, she had conditioned herself to trust Kwang, and sometimes the body wasn’t as good at playing catch up as the mind. And from what he’d heard from y/n, when she talked about it, Kwang was taking his time, savoring every second, using y/n’s body against her.

Y/n was still a little girl on the inside. That little girl was taught to love her parents and not raise her voice at them, not protest any of their decisions for her life, and Kwang was a guardian. A solid male with a strong foundation for always making y/n feel safe… No child would want to disappoint someone that they love, or ever make them unhappy.

It was a crisscross of blurred lines between Kwang’s actions, his intentions and what he'd groomed y/n to feel. He wanted her to be scared of him. He wanted her to feel guilty for saying no to what he wanted to do to her.

A glass paperweight was thrown across the room and shattered against the wall. Kwang wanted y/n to please him.

Namjoon breathed hard, feeling all too helpless, with so much rage and nowhere to put it.

He couldn’t imagine how betrayed y/n was feeling. And he felt bad for pushing her but he had to push. She’d already been minimizing it in her head, highlighting her own feelings instead of his actions.

Just didn’t rape me.

He did. As far as Namjoon was concerned Kwang had been abusing y/n since the day he realized he was sexually attracted to her. But y/n couldn’t see that.

Y/n was ashamed of herself, feeling guilt as if it was her fault, and what made it even worse was her perception of safety.

For a long time Kwang was a safety net. Realistically y/n didn’t walk into oncoming traffic like it was safe, that would be ridiculous, but she was physically forced and also not. He touched her not as an abuser but a lover. And y/n did the only thing she could do in a situation where the odds seemed insurmountable – she dissociated. Ice princess.

Namjoon sighed. Maybe it wasn’t fair to y/n at all to work on the theory he’d been spinning in his head, but the more thought he put into it, the more he knew he needed the story to be reiterated and confirmed. What really happened that day?

Did isolation and dissociation start with the trauma from her father, or did it start with Kwang? And if it started after the incident when she was younger, then how did she react before she defended herself, what did she feel then?

And if things had been different, her emotions, her response, did she alter the event in her mind or maybe she pushed it out of her mind completely. All night she seemed to be reliving the most recent one, instead of blocking it out, but only time would tell.

If he was being honest with himself, Namjoon would rather focus on y/n rather than himself, because he had his own guilt to level with. He would be a fool not to admit that it was disturbing to be faced with the realization that he was part of a plan, that his lapse in judgment was relied on, let alone included in some master plan to ruin his y/n’s life. He was ashamed that it had worked perfectly for Helen, up until y/n decided she wouldn’t leave him.

And he would never leave y/n.

Maybe another man would be fazed with y/n’s reaction, her inability to react as the situation called for it, but Namjoon knew his wife. He knew her better than she knew herself. And he felt y/n’s love… everywhere. He saw proof of it, in his life. His brothers, his band, overlooking his flaws and mistakes – she adored him and never shied away from showcasing it to the people that mattered.

Something inside him smiled dangerously as he remembered how he found Kwang clutching his jaw, blood dripping from his nose. Y/n may not have reacted in time for herself, but when she was clear headed he would remind her that she reacted when it mattered most. For all he knew, it was the same back then when he tried to touch her.

Yeah. The trauma would remain, but his y/n would make it out of this, and he would be right there with her.

And maybe making her relive her trauma so fast was a reckless decision, maybe he’d been harder than he needed to be, maybe incensing and arguing with her wasn’t the best idea and maybe he wasn’t taking this whole Helen, Neenah bullshit seriously enough yet… but one thing was for sure, no one could tell Kim Namjoon how to take care of his wife, absolutely no one knew Kim Y/n better than him, and he would dare anyone to contest that, because the only thing worse than feeling broken, was the one you loved most treating you as if you were.

Taglist - @casnextdoor @jaysdimples @belliebelle @pinkcherrybombs @sweetjellyfishland @blushingatyou @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @somewhereinthestarss @k-brownsugar @namsona17 @taejinxkoya @notsooperfect @zae007live @its-hopes-world @shina913 @bri-mal @piecesofapril11 @kissme-ornot @toriluvsfics @agustdmwah @lochness-butmakeitsexy @petalsofink @definetlythinkimanalien @masterpiecejoonie @gcintia @danietoww04 @roguesthetic @rjsmochii @amymikaelson @hello-kittyy @mschievous247 @onlythehobi @deliciousdetectivestranger @daddypkj @callmemadhatter @rkivecenter @codeinebelle @creolesoul2seoul @nochelunaxx @serendididy [closed]

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Part 30 - Finale [V]

Part 30 - Finale [E]

Epilogue

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#bts aus #bts au fanfic #bts au #bts fanfic #bts namjoon #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon x oc #namjoon x y/n #bts namjoon x reader #bts namjoon fanfic #protective namjoon #joon #nerve au #namjoon angst

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moccahobi · 1 year

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Dancing in the Rain [Pt. 3]

Summary: Namjoon lived in a small town. He loved it. It had just enough going on to give him fun when needed and not enough going on that he felt overwhelmed. On top of that, it was only a three hour train ride to Seoul where he met with his publisher and many of his friends lived. It was the best of both worlds. His life gets a bit more interesting when a mysterious bleach blonde with a heart shaped smile enters his life.

genre: Slice of Life, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff

members: Namjoon (BTS) x Hoseok (BTS)

wc: 4.4k

warnings: lying about one’s name

Previous Chapter < > Masterlist

A/N: Thank you to the fabulous @chimknj for betaing this fic for me! Her help was so wonderful in making me feel confident in the consistency of the final chapter so long after my first two parts. Please go check out her works, she’s truly such a talented author!

Sweat dripped down Namjoon’s back, the sun bearing down on Hoseok and him as they hiked higher and higher. Namjoon hadn’t realized that there were many hiking opportunities nearby until Hoseok mentioned it. Since Hoseok had Namjoon wrapped around his finger, he agreed immediately to the hiking invite (despite his more sedentary lifestyle.

It was a beautiful early fall hike. The leaves were starting to lose their green pigment and turn vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows. If Namjoon had the energy, he’d be playing around with descriptions as they walked.

But Namjoon had no energy to think past putting one foot in front of the other.

The trail was rough and despite it being early in the day, the sun was already an unrelenting beast. Namjoon’s shirt was soaked all the way through and his pants were joining, both bunching and riding up uncomfortably.

Despite the physical exercise and angry sun, Hoseok seemed to be floating up the trail ahead of Namjoon. Small beads of sweat were growing on his neck and darkening the collar of his t-shirt, but compared to Namjoon, Hoseok seemed to be as dry as a desert. Not even the spots under Hoseok’s backpack that occasionally were revealed as he swung his shoulders with each step forwards seemed sweaty. Namjoon didn’t complain though. Hoseok made up for all the physical discomfort Namjoon felt (and not just because Namjoon had a painfully large crush on the man).

Hoseok finished up his first tour since the two became friends. There had been some song releases and promotional stuff that he’d done before but this was the first time their friendship was tested by distance for months on end. The two called often (Namjoon’s irregular sleep schedule coming in handy for once) and tried to make it work but it was hard. Namjoon knew it’d be hard.

They had managed it though.

In some ways, it was easier than Namjoon expected. Despite the great distance, there were times where it felt like their schedules weren’t meeting up (like the occasional times where Hoseok would return to town after being gone for a month right when Namjoon had to go on a book signing tour) and technology helped so much to sooth Namjoon’s yearning. Sure they couldn’t snuggle while watching a movie but they could find a show with short episodes and watch that together occasionally. There were things they could still do together.

In other ways, it was harder. Namjoon found himself replaying all their interactions together, trying to figure out if certain actions meant something in the times they’d most often met up (like the many times that Hoseok would hold his hand and gaze softly into his eyes). The further into Hoseok’s tour, the more Namjoon found himself spiraling. He was romanticizing each action with every replay. The memories likely got warped and distorted by Namjoon’s crush more and more each time.

It had to be that. Their hugs and laughs and soft touches and sweet words were playful friend things. Namjoon needed to get over this crush of his.

“Whaaaaa!! Namjoon-ah! Look at the view!” Hoseok shouted, pulling Namjoon from his thoughts.

He was 4 yards ahead and must have gotten to the first viewpoint on the trail (and the only one they’ll get to today). The view was supposed to be breathtaking but 3 yards away from the view (and still climbing uphill) Namjoon was struck by another view.

Hoseok.

The sun surrounded him in a halo and yet his bright and excited heart shaped smile shone brighter than it. How dare a man look so good. He even was rocking his latest hair style (a soft looking caramel brown hair cut with gentle waves in it). The man would look stunning bald. It was unfair.

It was a struggle to look away from Hoseok when Namjoon was able to look at the view but he did it nonetheless. The town was on the outskirts of a larger city with enough stuff nearby to live a calm life. Most of the farms were stuff Namjoon had only seen through trains and buses. He’d started seeing more on his new bike but the view of the fields from a bike was so different from the view from this viewpoint.

Rice fields seemed to stretch out forever. A lawn of green. Occasionally there’d be a flash of sunlight reflected in the water from the fields.

It was almost as breathtaking as Hoseok.

When Namjoon turned away from the view, he was met with Hoseok crouching down and spreading out a gingham red blanket from his large backpack. It was a classic picnic blanket that Namjoon had seen in many old timey American movies before.

So that is why Hoseok told Namjoon to bring some sweets for them to nibble on.

He was planning a picnic.

Did that mean that Hoseok had most of the main dishes in his backpack?

That would explain the size of it.

Namjoon must have been staring at Hoseok awkwardly because he laughed and pated the blanket, “Come sit down, Joon-ah!”

As gingerly as possible, Namjoon did. Hoseok seemed to look at Namjoon fondly all the while, his eyes soft and a small smile on his face. His look made Namjoon’s stomach feel like tons of tiny caterpillars were hatching, squirming around uncomfortably. He shouldn’t be crushing on his friend.

Averting his eyes, Namjoon took his time pulling out the sweets he got. In comparison to the stuff Hoseok was taking out of his backpack, Namjoon’s sweets felt minimal. How could twizzlers and partially melted cookies compare to the three course meal Hoseok was unpacking?

“I missed you a lot, Joon-ah,” Hoseok started, carefully laying out the spread, his own eyes downcast, “I am glad we got to meet back up so soon after I returned.”

“Me too, Hoseok-ah. Being in person is much nicer than calls and facetime. Although at least on calls, I didn’t have to go on long hikes.”

“I hope that despite its length, you still are enjoying it.” Hoseok said with a soft laugh and Namjoon got a sense that he was asking for some sort of validation with that comment.

Why?

He didn’t know.

But Hoseok deserved all the validation in the world.

“I did. You make everything fun.”

Hoseok smiled softly and nodded at Namjoon’s comment. Suddenly a voice in his mind was yelling at him to confess. This was a great place to do it.

But Hoseok didn’t like Namjoon. Why would he?

Namjoon was just Namjoon… Hoseok was so amazing and caring and hard working.

A gentle silence blanketed them as Hoseok finished laying out the food.

“I really missed this place,” Hoseok started after taking a few bites of food.

Namjoon looked up and nodded, his cheeks full.

“Performing is amazing. I love it-- Crave it. I am so glad that I got to go on tour again, but it’s so nice to just breathe. Being here, I am able to take stuff slow in ways that I don’t think I have in so long. I've not had this slow pace since I entered the school system. I started as a trainee in high school but before then I was dancing and rarely gave myself breaks.”

“I’m glad you got a place here then.”

“Me too. I almost didn’t. My manager was the one who was pushing me to take on a slower schedule and spend time outside of Seoul between promotions. I’m glad I did. The breaks are nice. Being with you is nice too.”

Namjoon looked down at his plate, his cheeks burning, “I enjoy being with you too.”

“You’re so cute, Namjoon-ah.”

His head shot up, eyes wide as he looked at Hoseok.

“Thank you.”

Hoseok nibbled his lower lip, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Would you… uh… would you want to go on a date with me?”

Namjoon inhaled at that, food getting lodged in his windpipe. He started coughing violently, face bright red. Leaning over, Hoseok started rubbing his back, apologizing profusely. Once Namjoon calmed down, Hoseok handed him some water.

“I am sorry for asking… we can let it go… I-”

“I would love to.”

Namjoon’s voice was weak and raspy from coughing but it shut Hoseok up nonetheless. A soft smile grew on his face as he nodded.

Namjoon was rushing around his backyard, making small adjustments to make sure everything looked good for their first date. He readjusted his plants to make sure their best sides were being shown and fiddled with the layout of cut veggies he grabbed.

He hadn’t done this before and it was stressful. What was one supposed to do to prepare for a small in house date? Did he need to prepare a gift? Would the food he got be enough? Would Hoseok enjoy it?

It didn’t help that Namjoon’s experience with dates was next to null. He also hadn’t had a date like this before.

Hoseok had to go back to Seoul unexpectedly after their hike so Namjoon was organizing the first date. Namjoon wanted to… but fuck it was hard. The time crunch had thrown him for a loop. He wanted to push the date back by a day or so to give him more time to prepare. Plus they didn't know when Hoseok would be done with work today. Hoseok was insistent on coming as soon as he could leave from work and neither of them knew when their next opportunity would be. It was why Namjoon was rushing.

Totally not him procrastinating on setting up.

Or stressing over something he’s never done before.

The ring of his doorbell drew him from his thoughts.

He rushed to the door, opening it to see a tired looking Hoseok. He still had his bags in his hands (which were set down as soon as he came inside).

“I am so sorry for you needing to plan this,” Hoseok said as they started moving to the back yard, “I had a big thing planned but…”

He sighed.

Namjoon nodded.

“I don’t mind Hoseok-ah. We can do your thing for our second date.”

Hoseok laughed and nodded.

“I guess. Wahhhh! Namjoon-ah! Your backyard always amazes me! It is so beautiful.”

Namjoon blushed and scratched the back of his neck, making his way to the variety of drinks he’d grabbed and prepared for the date. Despite knowing Hoseok for a while now, in his nerves for the date, he forgot all the things that Hoseok liked.

“I uh… I got us some soju. Do you want some now? Or do you want something else to drink? I have water, iced tea… sprite, I could make some--”

“I’ll have water.”

Hoseok laughed, a soft look making its way on his face as he watched Namjoon pour some water. Namjoon was futzing around even after he gave Hoseok some water.

“Sit down with me, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon coughed and did that, looking around anxiously as he did so.

“Is this your first date?”

“W-W-wha-No? I… I’ve been on dates before! Many!”

Namjoon was a beetroot with how red he was, squaring his shoulders and taking a large sip of his own drink.

Hoseok laughed and nodded, “Ok. Well, this is the first date I’ve been on in, like, 5 years.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh,” Hoseok laughed, “I missed you.”

“Oh. I missed you too. What was the emergency at work?”

“They had a system outage. Lost some recordings I had made so they needed me to come in and record some more stuff. I don’t know why they didn’t have it backed up better… but everything was lost.”

“Awwe. Was there much to rerecord?”

“Sadly. I am not promoting any music for a while but they had some video challenges prerecorded. We also lost a lot of vlog footage from dancing and stuff, but I managed to convince them to let me film it here.”

A comfortable flow of conversation settled over them as the night continued. Namjoon still had his nervous moments (and also almost set the grill on fire) but generally, the date was a comfortable and fun time. It was super fun, actually. Namjoon’s worries and stress quelled, he found himself melting into the flow of the night, a comfortable giddiness growing. Like fermenting wine, the night developed a sweet atmosphere and grew richer and richer with each minute. Hoseok was all giggles and sunshine every time their hands brushed and despite the night ending without even a peck on the lips, Namjoon found himself struggling to fall asleep that night as the date replayed on repeat.

He felt tipsy on the events of the night, floating in a soft fuzzy buzz that relaxed him to no end.

Was it possible for Namjoon to fall hard for someone after the first date?

Namjoon looked out the train window, the town growing smaller as it chugged along. It was a fall crisp morning and the world around the train was slowly turning various shades of yellow. He had an impromptu meeting with his publisher but unlike a few years ago (before he started dating Hoseok), he felt excited.

Hoseok’s manager was helping Namjoon surprise his boyfriend.

He gets to see Jin hyung again.

When his stop came, Namjoon giddily got up, fumbling to grab his bag and rushing to check into his hotel.

Hoseok was going to be on break in an hour.

His manager was going to pick Namjoon up in thirty minutes.

By the time the manager, Seojun, came by, Namjoon had worked up a sweat from rushing to and from a nearby grocery store. The car was sleek and fancy.

Namjoon stood frozen in front of the car in shock.

Sure, he knew Hoseok and his company had money, but he hadn’t expected this much. The window rolled down.

"You coming?"

Namjoon jumped, rushing into the car and mumbling a small apology. He'd met Seojun a few times but that didn't stop the awkward air that settled over them. Throughout the ride, they made light conversation, long stretches of silence rested in the gaps. During those breaks, Namjoon’s nerves skyrocketed.

Seojun cleared his throat near the end of the ride, “Now, Namjoon-ssi, I suspect Hoseok won’t actually be resting when you visit… which is why I am so appreciative of you coming. Hoseok works so hard but forgets to take breaks sometimes.”

Namjoon nodded, not quite knowing what to say in response.

“I am glad you brought food as well. It’ll be good for him. I am sorry that I can’t get you both more time together though. The schedule can be somewhat flexible but sadly we do have an important session after this break so I can’t give you all too much time. I am hopeful that this will be a good break for Hoseok.”

“I am glad I can help.” Namjoon said, trying to hide his growing nerves.

This was a surprise visit and Hoseok loved Namjoon… but what if he didn’t want to see Namjoon today?

What if Hoseok made plans that his manager didn’t know about?

What if Hoseok didn’t want to take a break?

Sure Hoseok was preparing for a comeback next week and Namjoon would only likely get to actually interact with Hoseok for thirty or so minutes but… what if?

There wasn’t much time to dwell though as soon they arrived at Hybe’s building. It stood tall and cold in front of Namjoon. Every time he’s seen the building, it stole his breath. Unlike previous times when Namjoon had space to stand in front of the building and absorb the feelings, Seojun ushered him along.

All Namjoon could do as they made their way deeper into the building was focus on Seojun. He knew the area well and was weaving through the building expertly. Before long, they stood in front of a studio door.

Namjoon was familiar with it. In the few times he’s visited and the many video calls he’s had with Hoseok, his studio was the main place they happened.

Seojun knocked on the door softly.

“Is it important? I am refining a song.”

Hoseok’s voice sounded rough from the constant use and Namjoon could hear the exhaustion that was dripping from it.

“I thought I told you to take a break, Hoseok-ssi?”

“I’ll rest later.”

“You won’t have time to rest later.”

Seojun looked over at Namjoon as if saying “I told you he’d be like this”.

Namjoon opened the door, “Hobi, get off your computer. It’s time to rest.”

At neck breaking speed, Hoseok turned around, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in surprise. He sat still, watching closely as Namjoon closed the studio door and set the food down.

“I hope you don’t mind the food I got. I arrived like an hour ago… didn’t have much time to get good quality food.”

As soon as the food was set down, Hoseok jumped up, engulfing Namjoon in a tight hug.

“I missed you, Joonie-ah.”

“I missed you too.”

They stood there in silence, tightly hugging each other. The studio was so quiet that the soft humming of Hoseok’s lamp could be heard. It was the tune to their hug. A constant soft hum.

“Oh shit. I need to save my project.”

Namjoon laughed and watched as Hoseok quickly typed away on his computer.

“You’re taking a break, Mister. As soon as you're done saving, let's sit on the couch and eat. I don’t know about you, but I am hungry.”

After five minutes of Hoseok tapping away, Namjoon walked up to him, “Yeah! Save your work and come over.”

With a deep sigh, Hoseok stepped away.

“I hate you, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon snorted.

“I love you too. You need a break.”

Hoseok shook his head, a small smile on his face. The two of them settled on the couch, Hoseok curling up on Namjoon’s lap. They sat in silence, slowly munching on the food Namjoon got and relaxing.

Both of them knew that there wasn’t tons of time to relax together, Hoseok’s schedule was packed full, but neither of them brought it up.

Less than two hours later, there was a soft knocking at the door.

It was Seojun.

“Come in.”

Namjoon spoke quietly, looking down at Hoseok napping peacefully and gently shaking the man.

As Seojun entered, Hoseok started to wake, blinking sleep away.

“It’s time for your vocal coach session.”

Hoseok hummed, smacking his lips and hugging Namjoon tighter. Namjoon gently kissed his head.

“I’m meeting my hyung nearby so I won’t need a ride.”

Seojun nodded.

Hoseok whined as Namjoon started to wiggle around. Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do but Hoseok had responsibilities that couldn’t be missed… and Namjoon was meeting Seokjin soon but that was something that he would cancel in a heartbeat if it meant more time with Hoseok. At that thought, Namjoon heard an imaginary Seokjin yelling and whining. As he got up with the speed of a sloth, it felt like part of his heart was staying behind with Hoseok, cheering him on and wrapping him in an eternal hug.

If only Namjoon could do that.

With a chaste goodbye kiss and a long hug, Namjoon finally left Hoseok to continue with his schedule.

Leaving Hoseok’s company felt like a long trudge, an internal fight to turn around and stay with Hoseok raging as he walked. With the help of some people in the company, Namjoon somehow managed to make it out of the company and into the busy streets of Seoul to find Seokjin.

When Namjoon finally made it to Seokjin, waving at the man tiredly, he laughed and said, “You look like someone stole your popsicle. Why do you look so sad, Namjoon-ah?”

“Nothing. I just… I wish I had more time with my boyfriend.” Namjoon said, guiding Seokjin into the small restaurant.

The conversation seemed to die down as the two got seated and placed their order. A comfortable silence wraped around them like a blanket as they rested. Seokjin took a while to figure out what he wanted and as he did, Namjoon looked around, observing the three other customers that were here. They were all at another table across the room, chatting quietly as they ate their many dishes.

Despite their quiet voices, Namjoon could almost make out what they were talking about with how small the restaurant was. In fact, if Seokjin and him held hands and stretched, they could touch both sides of the restaurant. Although they might need to move a table or two to do so. It was a cozy place that seemed to be steeped in a warm hue from the lights and candles scattered about.

Since Namjoon and Hoseok started dating, Namjoon found himself pushing less and less for useless meetings to be zoom meetings or emails. The small meetings were an excuse to travel to Seoul when Hoseok was here. Hoseok and Seokjin combined convinces Namjoon that a few boring meetings that he could zone out during was worth the trip. He hadn’t regretted it.

Especially since Seokjin and him had found such a good restaurant. Not only was it a small family owned place, but not a lot of people knew about it and their food was amazing. For cheap, they could get tons of good side dishes and some amazing homemade ramen. Plus, it was close enough to Hoseok’s company that Namjoon could pop in sometimes or deliver some food.

“Can you stop thinking about your boyfriend for a second and fill me in on your life?” Seokjin said with a laugh, interrupting Namjoon’s thoughts.

Namjoon laughed and shook his head, “I am sorry, hyung. It seems he’s always on my mind these days.”

“If that’s the case, why don’t you propose?” He asked, playing with the empty soju glass on their table as he watched the waiter walk around the store.

Namjoon nodded, the thought making him anxious and excited, his thoughts rushing off like runoff into a gutter as Seokjin started talking about some other topic. Namjoon’s mind flited in and out of their conversation that night, thoughts of proposing to his boyfriend of three years sticking to him like glue.

It wouldn’t be something that’d happen soon since Hoseok will be having a world tour after his music release… and maybe Hoseok’s company has an engagement ban despite them being somewhat open to Hoseok dating… Would Namjoon still be a private part of Hoseok’s life if they got engaged or would he become publicly linked to Hoseok…

“Yeah! Namjoon-ah! Are you listening to me?” Seokjin asked, setting his soju glass down loudly as he waved in front of Namjoon’s face.

“Oh? Sorry, hyung. I got distracted. What were you talking about?”

Seokjin laughed and shook his head before launching into a conversation about his latest pokemon adventures. Namjoon tried to pay attention, his mind struggling more and more as the night progressed. There was a tangled web of thoughts in his head and it seemed to be growing more and more.

Somehow, Namjoon did manage to stay somewhat engaged and had a decent time with his hyung. They ended their night walking the streets and watching buskers, the two tipsily dancing along to the music. The night seemed to end with a pastel pink heu as Namjoon left Seokjin laughing excitedly and found himself falling asleep as soon as he made it home.

Even though Namjoon was here for three more days, the time flew by quickly. He spent it writing in cafes, hanging with Seokjin again, and video calling Hoseok every night. Ideally, Namjoon would’ve been staying with Hoseok but with his comeback so close, Hoseok had reporters and fans practically living outside his apartment. It wouldn't been too risky. This way, Namjoon was also able to walk around a lot. Something he wouldn't have been able to do if he stayed with Hoseok.

Namjoon did get a laugh out of an article that showed off Hoseok’s and his “close friendship”. It had been released after they took a walk during one of Hoseok’s miniscule breaks. It really was just to the closest cafe to get coffee and back but the time with Hoseok was wonderful.

*Their friendship would be talked about as even closer if Namjoon proposed to Hoseok.*

Namjoon chuckled at that thought and shook his head at the thought, trying to focus on the beautiful view he could see from the train. The thought of proposing hadn’t quite left his head ever and somehow it stuck with him as Hoseok had his comeback and left for tour.

Their distance was almost more painful as the thoughts of a proposal grew in Namjoon’s head but they managed. Their old reliable video calling at odd hours and slow texting made do.

It also gave Namjoon even time to indulge in his thoughts of proposal as he went out and bought a small ring for Hoseok without worry of sneaking around. Given with Hoseok and his schedules Namjoon wouldn't have had to sneak around anyways. With the ring tucked away safely in his apartment, Namjoon’s excitement festered and grew all throughout Hoseok’s tour.

This was real.

He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Hoseok.

Hoseok didn’t return home right after his tour, having to go to a few meetings first and Namjoon waited for Hoseok. His writing distracted him from the excitement of seeing Hoseok again. When Hoseok came, the two spent every possible second together. The ring sat patiently in one of Namjoon’s drawers.

They had a month together before Hoseok was whisked away again by his job. The ring sat patiently as Namjoon cheered Hoseok on and occasionally visited.

Two years passed and Hoseok had moved in with Namjoon. The ring sat quietly tucked away from Hoseok.

One fateful rainy summer day, Hoseok and Namjoon walked out to dance around in their quiet haven. The ring sat patiently in Namjoon’s pants pocket, soon to be sitting happily on Hoseok’s ring finger.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

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ugh-yoongi · 5 months

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a word from our sponsors | knj

you’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it. 🎙️

pairing: namjoon x f. reader genre: podcast, friends to lovers au; crack, smut, fluff rating: explicit. minors do not interact. warnings: parasocial relationships galore, a m*n with a p*dcast, author abuses italics, swearing, alcohol, reader uses a pseudonym/nickname (piper) because writing the meta fanfiction scene would've been too weird without one and i refuse to use y/n, dialogue-heavy but it is a fic about a podcast, everyone is down horrendous, mentions of social media & fake r*ddit posts, ex-boyfriend yoongi but in a good, healthy way. let me know if i missed anything but mostly this is just two goofballs not realizing they're in love with one another. smut warnings: kissing, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex (fiction), protected vaginal sex (nonfiction), a lil squirting, mild degradation, mentions of a p*ss kink but there is no actual pee i promise (...lest?), i didn't intend to write size kink but it's namjoon so it just showed up anyway, slight dom!joon, everyone orgasms. wordcount: 17.5k credits: this was entirely inspired by that one episode of the basement yard where frankie reads the smut fic of him and joe, so credits to both that author and that podcast. spotify, for their podcast name generator. astro-seek for helping me drag namjoon astrologically. an extra special, gigantic thanks to @effortandmore for writing the meta fanfic (3k of it, no less!) and not batting an eye when i said it could have pee in it as a joke. this is as much yours as it is mine. finally, @hot-soop and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over for me and telling me i'm funny. author's note: happy birthday, indigo! here i am to validate every fear you've ever had that the people you write porn about may one day read it. live and on air. :)

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years.

You can learn a lot about a guy in that amount of time.

None of it is especially salacious. You know all about his family and his dog and the brand of recycled paper towels he insists on buying in bulk. You know what he’d written his grad school thesis on and what he’d looked like in the thick of it, when he was staving off his fifth mental break of the week. You know how fidgety he gets when it’s closing in on Friday night and he’s got a date—how much he stresses over which restaurant to pick, which cologne, which expensive cashmere sweater to wear.

You also know what the internet thinks about him. Intimately.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is peak husband material. He has cheeks ripe for pinching and thighs small countries would go to war to defend. He has a lap that doubles as a seat and dimples people want to get baptized in. He has Instagram selfies with hundreds of thousands of likes and comment sections full of intelligible keysmashes, especially the ones he posts from the gym.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is a man written by a woman.

Looking at him now, you aren’t sure that’s true, you think people just need to raise their standards. Namjoon is just… Namjoon. He’s intelligent and kind and up to date on modern feminist theory, is all. And, sure, maybe in the current political landscape that puts him far above the rest of men, but the way the internet has latched onto him is a little concerning.

“There’s another post about whether or not we’re dating,” you say, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

sooo let’s be real here, we ALL think they’re dating, right?? Posted by u/pod-shipper 2 hours ago

Just like he always does, Namjoon huffs out a soft laugh, makes his way around to your side of the table. Puts his large hands on your shoulders as he leans in close to read from your screen, snorting every time he reads a sentence he finds particularly amusing. Whichever cologne he’d chosen this morning is, admittedly, very nice.

It’s sooo obvious, especially in the episodes they film and post on YouTube. The way they look at each other?? I don’t even look at my HUSBAND like that! (+1264) ↳ omg ur sooooo right! i could MAYBE buy that they aren’t full on dating, but they’ve def at least slept together. Namjoon is so 🔥🔥🔥 (+791) ↳ um how can namjoon be dating her when he’s already married to me 😌💅 (+3) ↳ For the millionth time, can we not speculate on their personal lives? This is weird and reinforces really harmful ideas that men and women can’t just be friends. (-51)

“How come they never talk about how hot you are?”

You can tell by the look on Namjoon’s face that he hadn’t meant to say that—or, if he did, he didn’t mean to say it like that, with an entire pout, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “Cursed to be ugly and dumb,” you joke to ease the sudden tension, reading the comment that simply says you’d have to be the dumbest person alive to not sleep with Namjoon.

He scrunches his nose at that. Returns to his side of the table. “Yeah, I don’t think so, lots of people haven’t slept with me.” Starts to unpack all the gear from his bag before he says, “Hey, all that stuff—does it bother you?”

“What do you mean?” you answer, the corner of a protein bar stuck in your mouth. Namjoon always insists on recording at the most inconvenient times.

“People thinking we’re together,” he clarifies.

You shrug. “I dunno. Not really. Comes with the territory, I think, not to mention how much you love to overshare—”

“Hello?”

“I’m just saying,” you retort, hands raised in self-defense. “There really was no need for you to mention you blew your grad school stipend on a porn scam.” Namjoon looks affronted, like he can’t believe you’d stoop so low as to bring that up. “Or that you lost your virginity at fifteen.”

“We have a relationship podcast,” he states simply. “That’s kind of what we do, right? Talk about relationships? And the spectrum of human sexuality is part of that.”

You slump back in your chair as you quirk an eyebrow. “No one said it wasn’t, I just said you overshare. Which you do.”

“And that’s why there’s a dozen Reddit posts a week discussing whether or not we’re dating? Because I overshare?”

“Yeah, exactly. That’s the kind of behavior that leads to parasocial relationships. People latch onto that shit. Makes them think they’re your friend.” He glares. “Don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. It’s bad enough you’ve word-vomited all this highly personal information about yourself, but to not even do it under a pseudonym? It’s like you’re begging for trouble.”

Another comment he doesn’t even realize he’s making: “I don’t beg. For anything.”

To this day, you’re not sure why Namjoon asked you to co-host a podcast with him.

His reasoning had been simple: “You’re my best friend and we don’t agree on anything.” Hard to argue with that. Namjoon has seemingly endless patience, even in the face of things he shouldn’t entertain, and you… do not, to put it simply.

You’re not a cold person. Your fuse isn’t short. You’re just a little jaded, is all. Have far less propensity for bullshit than Namjoon does, so the two of you play well off each other. You end a sentence with a well-punctuated full stop and Namjoon’s right behind you to sigh and say maybe you shouldn’t be so hasty, not everything in the world can be so black or white.

Except some things are. Somewhere along the way, the podcast—which Namjoon had affectionately named Place Him Gently in the Garbage, even though some people should be shoved in there with force—had picked up a following. A big one. And now, every week, you’re inundated with emails ranging in severity. Sometimes people just want to vent after their tenth bad date in a row or share funny stories, and Namjoon lets you take the lead on those, but sometimes it’s a little more serious. That’s where Namjoon shines, all that endless patience, and people love him for it.

“What’s on the agenda today?” he asks, accepting a thick stack of papers from Jungkook.

Ah, Jungkook.

You aren’t sure what he actually does. Some kind of social media manager, which is obvious from the wildly out-of-context clips he posts of you to TikTok, and it’s his responsibility to go through the thousands of emails you get from listeners, but aside from that all you’ve got are your suspicions that he just sticks around to swindle Namjoon out of more and more money.

“I’m in a silly goofy mood,” comes Jungkook’s reply, and you let out a witch cackle as Namjoon winces. Nothing good ever comes of Jungkook being in a silly goofy mood, and that’s quite alright by you.

Fifteen minutes later finds you with a camera in your face that you greet with an unamused, flat stare. Jungkook is used to it by now. Just films for a few seconds before turning his attention to an unaware Namjoon. Head down, pen and highlighter going a mile a minute as he pores over the stack of papers with all the doggedness and eagle-eyed stare of a literature professor.

That’s the thing about Namjoon—he takes this really seriously. So do you, but not in the ways Namjoon does. He’s all skill and determination and you’re color commentary. It works. It clearly works, so you aren’t too bent out of shape about it, but sometimes you worry. Namjoon takes this really seriously and sometimes you worry that he takes it too seriously, that he carries the burdens and worries of all these strangers, that he’s trying to solve and fix things that aren’t his responsibility to solve and fix.

So he takes it really seriously and you don’t take it as seriously as you maybe should, and everything is by design. Balanced.

Twenty minutes later finds you staring across the table at Namjoon, who asks, “Are you ready?” and does one last equipment check before he launches into, “Welcome back to another episode of Place Him Gently in the Garbage with Namjoon and Piper. What’s new with you, Pipe? Any fun news?”

Pipe. It drives you nuts. Feels like nails on a chalkboard. “I see you almost every single day,” you respond dryly. “But for the sake of entertainment, I’m thinking about getting a cat.”

“A cat?” Namjoon parrots, and his eyebrows disappear beneath his fringe because he knows what that means.

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, but you’ve known him even longer.

Since your first year of college, which is also when you met Yoongi. Yoongi, your ex. Yoongi, the person you’d been with for six years and had planned a life around. Yoongi, now one of your closest friends, because the two of you still love one another but no longer in that way, which is fine. But also—Yoongi, allergic to cats.

So, yeah. Namjoon knows what that means, and he has the good sense not to mention it. Unlike him, you’re intensely private and keep your cards close to your chest. Your listeners don’t even know your real name, let alone that you’d gone through a breakup a year ago.

“What kind of cat?” he continues, like his entire world hasn’t just been turned upside-down.

You shrug. “Eh, I don’t know. Probably one that’s been in the shelter a long time, I guess. I’m not too fussy, you know?”

“Right, a cat is a cat,” Namjoon says, thinking he’s done something. You and Jungkook gasp at the same time. “What? Why are you giving me that look?”

“Because that’s a fucked up thing to say! A cat is not just a cat. They have little personalities, just like people. You’ve got—”

“But you just said you’re not fussy,” he interjects. “And I know they have personalities and that you have to find one that suits your lifestyle! Like, you can’t have one of those really cool cats that likes to go kayaking and shit, it’d never work—”

“What does that mean? Why couldn’t I have a cool cat?”

“Hey, all you cool cats and kittens,” Namjoon mocks, and you can tell he thinks he’s done something again, but his impression falls flatter than flat. An awkward silence fills the studio. He coughs. “Anyway. Do you have pictures?”

“Yeah. I also have a list of candidates ranked by how cool their names are. Number five, Casserole.”

“That’s cute.”

“Mhm,” you agree, “but Casserole is a kitten, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.”

“They do say you should adopt kittens in pairs.”

“And that’s how they get you. You want one kitten and they talk you into two, and before you know it you’ve got, like, twelve cats. Number four, Party Girl.”

“Sick name.”

“Number three, Toddler.”

“Toddler?”

“Number two, Flat.”

“Just Flat? Understandable.”

“And, finally, number one: Human Torch.”

“Yoooo.” Namjoon laughs. “You have to adopt Human Torch. Let me see.” You pull up a picture on your phone and hand it over. “Okay, for our listeners—Human Torch is a young, male Domestic Short Hair. He has stripes. I don’t know what that’s called.”

“Tabby,” Jungkook chimes in.

“Jungkook says he’s a tabby. He’s cute. Adopt him.”

You return your phone to your pocket. “Maybe. I still think I want an older cat, but I’ll consider it. What about you, though? Any new dating horror stories to share?”

Ah, the dating horror stories. Your most dedicated shippers are convinced they’re fake, that Namjoon just makes them up on the spot to keep them off your trail. If only. Not in the if only they were fake and Namjoon and I were actually dating kind of way, but the holy shit one of my closest friends is a fucking disaster and it’s a little embarrassing kind of way.

“Not really,” he answers. “I’ve got a date this Friday, though. Trying to decide if dinner and a movie is too boring.”

“It’s a classic for a reason. What are you gonna see, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3?”

“Three?” Namjoon emphasizes, truly sounding scandalized. “Since when are there three? I haven’t even seen one or two.”

“Okay, first of all, the original is a classic and it’s a crime you haven’t seen it.”

“And second of all?”

“There is no second of all. Repeat point one.”

He snorts. “I’m not gonna see that, anyway. Maybe the re-release of Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Subbed or dubbed, though?”

“Are you trying to get me canceled?”

“Absolutely.”

“I like both,” he chickens out. “Now, let’s stop wasting time and get to the point of the show.”

“Talking about cats is a waste of time?”

“I—no, we’ve just got a lot on the agenda today.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s lots to talk about on the celebrity front—”

Namjoon loves this part. As esteemed and educated as he is, not even he is immune to good old celebrity gossip. (Inside him there are two wolves.) Lives for it. Texts you about it at all hours of the night. Sends you links to Reddit threads with hundreds of comments. Has more opinions on Celebrity Big Brother than he does on Ludwig Wittgenstein, sometimes, and when that’s the case you know you’re in for a long evening. You’ve never even seen an episode of Celebrity Big Brother.

But Namjoon loves it, so you’ve become fond of it by association. Reminds you a bit of Yoongi and his love for sports and sports anime.

“—one should we start with?”

“Whatever you want,” you answer, because you haven’t been paying a lick of attention and you aren’t sure it matters anyway. Namjoon can talk to a wall on a good day, but he’s an entirely different beast once mundane, innocuous celeb gossip gets involved.

And even though you hadn’t been paying attention, it seems like this was the right thing to say, because Namjoon smiles so wide his dimples crater his face. “Cool. Let’s start with Taryn Manning. Did you see that bizarre—”

“Who?”

“What?”

“Who is Taryn Manning?”

Namjoon looks a little dumbstruck. Even Jungkook’s arching an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? She was in Orange is the New Black and Crossroads.”

“The Britney Spears movie?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Weird, okay. Continue.”

Your co-host shoots you a very pointed look. “I will, thanks. Anyway, she posted a video on social media talking about this affair she had with a married man. Like, she pulled over on the side of the road to record this. Said she can’t stand the man’s wife because she called her a quote-unquote lunatic.”

“I—huh, thought we weren’t supposed to say that anymore. Alright.”

“But wait, it gets even more bizarre. Listen to this quote—and this is direct. This is a direct quote from the video, I can’t stop thinking about it: ‘Don’t you ever threaten me when your husband came to me to get his butthole licked.’ Can you—”

“What? Namjoon, what in the fuck—”

“It’s crazy, right? She was gonna buy this guy a boat.”

“Namjoon, this is a family show, you can’t just talk about ass-eating unprompted.”

“No it’s not.”

“Well, you still shouldn’t talk about ass-eating unprompted. It’s unbecoming.”

“You’re unbecoming,” Namjoon fires back, because he can’t help it. The words are out of his mouth before he can think. “Sorry, that was out of line.”

You sigh. Know whatever look Jungkook is catching on his camera right now is exasperated and pointed, the corners of your mouth probably tugged up just a hint. “Unbecoming, like I said.” Namjoon scoffs. “Anyway, so this actress was gonna buy this married guy a boat and was eating his ass?”

“Yeah. Apparently it was her friend’s husband? They all went to a Taylor Swift concert together.”

“Jesus, this keeps getting worse. Big year for Hollywood cheaters.”

“It is, right? Cheaters and divorces. Something in the water, I guess.”

“I saw the astrology girlies saying a bunch of planets are in retrograde, so—”

“Can you explain that to me? Like, what does it mean for a planet to be in retrograde? Why is it causing divorces?”

“I don’t know, I’m not an astrology girlie. That’s why I said the astrology girlies. What are your big three, though?”

“What’s that?”

“Your sun, moon, and rising signs.”

“How do I find that out?”

“Ugh,” you intone, “don’t worry about it, I’ll do it myself. What time were you born?”

Namjoon rattles off a time.

You grab your laptop. Pull up the page, type in Namjoon’s date of birth and birthplace, and wait. Then you’re staring at a circle with a bunch of lines in it that also don’t make a lick of sense to you. You roll your lips to keep from laughing and school your voice into something deadly serious. “Bad news: it says you’re a virgin.”

“Virgo,” Namjoon corrects, not taking the bait. “I already knew that.”

You scroll a little further down the page. “Your moon is in Sagittarius. Oh god, listen to this, they’ve got you pegged: ‘The greatest need is to always search for something. In order to feel safe you need a philosophy or belief’—”

“Haaa, that’s not—”

“—’You need to have a goal or mission that gives your life meaning. Your faith must be voluntary and it is a paradox that fighting against dogmas may lead you to other dogmas.’ Yeah, that’s you.”

“That could apply to anyone,” he argues. “There are seven-billion people on this planet; I’d imagine a sizable amount of them would say that also describes them.”

“Hm, sounds like your faith in astrology is not yet voluntary. Did you know you’re a Scorpio rising?”

“No. I’m sure you’re gonna tell me all about it, though.”

You smile. “Correct. ‘People with Scorpio on the Ascendant need to fight against dark and destructive power in their life.’ Is that true?”

“Yeah, you’re the dark and destructive power. You keep sidetracking me and we need to get to the point of the podcast.” He grabs the stack of papers Jungkook had given him. Looks more highlighter than paper, if you’re being honest. “I guess Jungkook thought we needed a lighthearted kind of day.”

“That was nice of him, considering what he gave us last week. I guess we’re allowed to have faith in humanity today.”

To your left, Jungkook scoffs.

“Alright,” Namjoon starts, putting on his Very Serious Podcast Guy voice, “first up we’ve got a question from one of our listeners in Canada. It says, ‘Hi, Piper and Namjoon. I recently agreed to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She said he was a bit old-fashioned but really talked him up so I thought I was in good hands—and then he showed up to get me in a ‘67 GTO and exclusively referred to me as doll. He didn’t use my name once. I’m torn, because he was really nice and I had a good time otherwise, but this is weird, right? Should I see him agai—’”

“No,” you interject.

“Can I finish?”

“You don’t have to. This guy sounds greasy.”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “And why is that?”

“Ignoring the fact that this guy has arguably one of the lamest classic cars around, he didn’t use their name once? Not once, in all the time they spent together? That’s really disrespectful.”

“Some people are just pet name people,” Namjoon argues.

“With absolute strangers, though? It’s really giving the impression that he didn’t even know it, not to mention some people are uncomfortable with pet names. The whole shtick is super lame.”

“I agree it sounds a bit misguided, but—”

Ignoring Namjoon, you say, “Sorry you had to go on a date with the ghost of less-cool James Dean. Into the garbage he goes.”

And, just like he’s done a million times before, Namjoon rolls his eyes and says, “If you really like this guy and want to see him again, a bit of communication will go a long way. Tell him the pet name made you uncomfortable—if it did—and offer to pick him up for the next date. I don’t think he’s completely destined for the garbage, yet.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t have a license. You probably think a 1967 Pontiac GTO is the pinnacle of romance. That’s probably like picking someone up on a Specialized Aethos to you, eh?”

“That’s a fifteen-thousand dollar bike, I’ll have you know.”

You groan. “Oh my god.”

Ep: #183 - Namjoon is a Virgin

I think Namjoon had the right idea on this one. Sure, the car can be considered lame, but I think a lot of men are deeply insecure and therefore overcompensate when it comes to dating. Women are hard to impress when they have unlimited options. You have to stand out, so I’m glad he advocated for him. Piper can come off like such a misandrist sometimes. (-649) ↳ just shut up bro namjoon would fuckin hate u (+204) ↳ Imagine caring about something like this when they’re getting a cat together 🙄 (+19)

You think about the cat thing for nearly a week.

Adopting a cat is certainly not the worst idea you’ve ever had, and truth be told it’s been a little lonely, living by yourself. No more Yoongi in your space; no more Holly. So, having a new little friend around might do you some good.

It’s just—

It’s a big commitment, and there’s also the dog sitting-shaped elephant in the room. Ending things on good terms means you’re still Yoongi’s second-choice sitter whenever he has to go out of town, and while you love Holly dearly (the two of you had adopted him together, after all), he’s a lot like his father in a lot of ways.

Should I get a cat, you type out, and it’s only been in Yoongi’s inbox a few seconds before the most unflattering picture you’ve ever taken of him is flashing across your screen.

“Are you dying?” you ask, because Yoongi doesn’t call you for much else.

And you already know what his response is going to be. “We’re all dying.”

“Lighten up, Yoongi. One might say being so existentially nihilistic before noon causes wrinkles.”

There’s a split-second pause. “It’s nine p.m.”

“Sure, but it’s before tomorrow’s noon, so it still counts.”

“Whatever. Listen, before you adopt that cat, I need a favor.”

“You going out of town again?”

“Yeah. Shouldn’t be long, though. A week at the most, five days if I’m lucky.”

“That’s fine, bring him over whenever. Yijeong’s busy?”

This pause is far, far longer. “No,” comes Yoongi’s eventual response, but it’s slow. Unsure. A two-letter word has never taken so long to say in the history of ever. “He’s, uh. Coming with me?”

Oh, you think. This is where your ex awkwardly and hesitantly breaks the news of his new relationship. You’ve known this day was coming, and this is what you get for staying friends with him. “This is a fanfiction plot,” you accuse. “Hot, mysterious man moves into a gaudy apartment complex after ending a long-term relationship and meets his equally-hot and mysterious neighbor and they fall in love.”

“I—that’s not—my apartment is not gaudy.”

“Yes it is. There’s a giant gold bust of a weird bird in the lobby.”

“Weird bird?” he parrots. “It’s a swan.”

“I see you’re not denying the in-love-with-your-neighbor accusations.”

“Am I on trial?” Yoongi retorts, and it’s such a Yoongi thing to say when what he means is, is this okay? He means, are we able to talk about this without it being weird? He means, I won’t ever say as much out loud, but your acceptance means a lot to me, and I’d like for you to give me this.

So you lower your voice and soften the edges because it’s not really something to joke about, and you say, “No, of course you’re not on trial,” and Yoongi knows what you mean. “And if you were, you'd get locked up for fifty years. You can’t lie for shit.”

There’s a beat of silence before he clears his throat, mutters a thanks that is so quiet you almost don’t catch it. “Send me pictures of the cats.”

Later on, once you’re freshly-showered and tucked into bed with a candle and a book (Eloge de l’amour by Alain Badiou at Namjoon’s insistence and request), your phone buzzes with a text from Yoongi—

Yoongi: toddler is a fucking hilarious name for a cat but so is flat Yoongi: it’s a tie for me You: Okay well pick one 🙄 Yoongi: yijeong says get both You: Both???? Is he paying my vet bills? Yoongi: kinda out of line to proposition him for money. flat is also good with dogs, js You: If he’s now being raised by you two, my perfect, well-behaved son is probably long gone. Does he even count as a dog anymore? Yoongi: me and yijeong both say fuck off Yoongi: holly too. he says he doesn’t miss you anymore and he’s not coming over now Yoongi has added Yijeong to the group Yoongi has changed the group name to #ThirdWheelChat Yijeong: Please don’t drag me into this. Also I did not say “fuck off” You have changed the group name to People Who Have Seen Yoongi Naked Yoongi: fuck you

You should’ve known something was going on with Jungkook, because it’d started like this:

(When you and Namjoon started the podcast three years ago, it was in the living room of his apartment.

Surrounded by books and plants. He loved to record in the afternoons back then—Namjoon loved to say it was because of his grad school schedule, but you’ve always suspected he just wanted to preen in the golden hour light, much like he’s doing now.

“Is this really necessary?” Jungkook whines from his spot on the couch. He’s already swindled Namjoon out of two bags of microwavable popcorn and three cans of sparkling water. “It’s a Saturday afternoon; I could be doing something so much more fun than this.”

Namjoon scoffs. “Are you saying this isn’t fun?”

“Yeah. It sucks, actually. This could’ve been an email.”

And because Namjoon is accomplished, mature, and absolutely incapable of not taking Jungkook’s bait, the space between his brows creases as he sends a murderous glare Jungkook’s way. “Stop eating my food, then. And drinking my drinks. And lounging on my couch like that—”

“I’m not lounging,” Jungkook argues.

“You’re manspreading all over the leather!”

“This is how I sit!”

“Well, knock it off! My couch is only for fun and people who think I’m fun!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “So you fuck on it?”

“What?”

“What other fun things could you possibly do on a couch?”

Namjoon blinks. “Watch… watch a movie?”

Jungkook groans, throws himself backwards against the pillows as if he’s suffering a Victorian ailment. “Jesus. No wonder you can’t score a second date.”

“Okay, that was a little uncalled for. There are a ton of reasons a person might not want a second date, and no one is obligated to go out with me—”

“Uh-huh. Anyway—”

You clear your throat. Try to hide your own can of seltzer you’d taken from Namjoon’s fridge in the midst of his and Jungkook’s bickering. “Not trying to be rude, but I have an appointment at the shelter at three. If, y’know. You wouldn’t mind speeding this up a little.”

“Oh! Yeah, of course—”

“Oh, so you’ll speed this up for her but not—”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “She,” he begins, jerking his thumb in your direction, “isn’t needlessly complaining and actually has someplace to be.”)

It was just a quick little rendezvous in Namjoon’s living room to come up with a rough draft for the following month’s episodes. He couldn’t do it over text because he’d fallen down the steps at his office and landed on his ass on the corner of a step and his phone had been in his back pocket. Cracked clean in half. And he couldn’t do it over email because he—rightfully—knew Jungkook would ignore them because he has his inbox set up to send all of Namjoon’s personal emails to the trash.

But Jungkook holds onto things like that. Grudges. Loves to let Namjoon think bygones are bygones and pop up a few days later with some evil scheme. Hence:

“What is this?”

Jungkook smirks. Rocks back on his heels. “It’s fanfiction.”

“I can see that, but… why?”

This is where Jungkook shines: the ominous, cheshire cat grin; the aw, shucks demeanor that gaslights Namjoon into thinking Jungkook couldn’t possibly be fucking with him. “Well, you were having trouble coming up with ideas for episodes, and there’s an email in there from someone whose partner reads really expli—”

“Jungkook, this is fanfiction about me.”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. Of all the weird shit you’ve seen on the internet (and there’s been a lot), fanfiction of people you know—your friends—was something you’d managed to escape. Probably by virtue of not knowing anyone famous enough to warrant fanfiction being written about them.

But you should’ve known. You really, really should’ve known.

“Oh my god?”

You’re not sure who says it. Could be you or Namjoon, but the sentiment is the same. He mouths a what the fuck at you that’s met with a shrug. You’re in uncharted territory now, too. “Where did you even find this?” you ask, taking the stack of papers from Namjoon. “And why did you print it out?”

“Because I’m going to track down whoever wrote it and get them to autograph it. Then I’m going to buy a nice frame and hang it on the wall behind him, so we never forget this historical moment in Place Him Gently in the Garbage lore.”

“It’s a podcast,” Namjoon deadpans, “how can it have lore? And how much lore can there possibly be?”

“It’s the internet,” you concede. “The lore possibilities are endless. Don’t tempt them.”

Jungkook nods sagely, well-versed in the degeneracy of the internet. “Yeah, that’s how you end up with shit like 4chan.”

“4chan? There’s Space Jam porn on there.”

As the youngest, all Jungkook can do is roll his eyes. “Sometimes explaining this shit to you feels like trying to teach old people how to rotate PDFs—”

Namjoon scoffs. “I’m not that bad. I know how to rotate a PDF.”

Wow, Jungkook mouths. “Anyway, back to the fanfiction—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Namjoon interjects. He looks at you. “It’s weird, right? Like, it’s weird that people have written this about us?”

About us.

Your scope of the world narrows to the size of a pinhead. It’d just been about Namjoon before. This is fanfiction about me, he’d said, and you hadn’t been included in that. Now it’s written about us and you’re included.

“I—what?”

“It’s about us,” Namjoon repeats.

Jungkook rolls his lips. “It’s about the two of you fucking, to be specific.”

“Can you not—”

“Fucking a lot,” Jungkook continues. “So much fucking.”

Namjoon looks at you, and it’s all you can do to keep from laughing. The look on his face is pure bewilderment, both that Jungkook has cooked up this idea and is hell-bent on executing it and that he remains employed. And maybe it’s a little bit of nerves, too, because neither of you are ignorant of the risks. Reading fanfiction about yourselves—about the two of you as a couple, specifically, or at least two people who have sex—is weird. Not something you can unread.

And maybe it’s because you’re so determined to not make it weird that you send Namjoon a cheeky, exaggerated wink, shrug your shoulders, and say, “I’ll need a couple drinks, but I’m down.”

Jungkook throws his head back and cackles wildly, and that look of bewilderment on Namjoon’s face morphs into something else. Trepidation, maybe; definitely disbelief, because sometimes he lets himself get swept away in Jungkook’s schemes, but it’s rare that you follow suit.

As Jungkook continues to laugh, you wonder if you should’ve said no.

Namjoon has two stipulations: the two of you have to film the episode completely alone, and he, too, needs to be a little drunk.

The latter? Piece of cake, considering Namjoon has become some sort of whiskey aficionado in recent years. His drinking is streamlined and to the point—he knows exactly how much and what to drink to get him where he wants to be. You can’t say he isn’t efficient.

The former, though? Borderline impossible. From the second Namjoon states his terms, Jungkook is having none of it. Argues that he’s the one who found the story and the one who cleared it with the author, so he deserves to witness the fruits of his labor.

“No,” Namjoon repeats for the nth time, “no way. I’ll barely be able to do this with just her, let alone both of you.”

And that—that doesn’t bother you, right? You force a laugh, because why would it bother you?

There are few secrets between you and Namjoon, except your respective sex lives have been staunchly off-limits. Namjoon could be a virgin for all you know, and as you study him—the way he keeps bobbing his leg, the slight shake in his hands—you wonder if that’s the reason he’s being so weird about this.

It’s just a story.

Fiction.

Most people don’t have to worry about someone writing stories about them fucking their friends. If they do, you reckon even less actually read them. So, sure, it’s a little strange, but people from all over the world send in stranger stuff all the time, don’t they? It’s literally the reason you’re in this predicament.

Eventually Jungkook agrees. His whining has gotten him nowhere, so he just throws up his hands. Posts a cryptic little “u guys won’t believe what the next patreon ep is lmao” that sends the internet into a frenzy. Doubles your Patreon numbers almost immediately, and both you and Namjoon do a good job of pretending the pressure isn’t overwhelming.

Jesus. You have to read explicit fanfiction about yourselves. On camera.

Namjoon gets caught up with work and isn’t available until the weekend, so you’re forced to sit with the nerves for a few days. Not too bad at first, but you’re nearly coming out of your skin by Thursday with the need to know. You’re well-versed in the world of fanfiction, but this is fanfiction about you: your name, your likeness, maybe even your personality.

What will they know of Namjoon, though?

Will they get it right, the way he looks with his jaw clenched? How impossibly deep his voice can go, both when it’s raspy with sleep and when he’s fully at ease? Will the Namjoon in the story be closer to the Namjoon you know, or the version of himself he presents to the public?

And you’ve known him a long time—long enough that there are few secrets between you, but you don’t know the most intimate parts. All the parts the internet loves to speculate on. All the little gaps that, apparently, need to be filled in by fanfiction.

Will they know what Namjoon looks like when he gets off?

No, you scold yourself, jerking awkwardly like you’ve been burned, and neither will you.

Because you are not going to think about this. Your thoughts are not going to go there. Namjoon is your friend, and you’ve listened to him scold an endless amount of men on the podcast for exactly this behavior. Sexualizing their friends. You’re not going to do it, too.

Maybe that’s why you’re kind of seeing double when it comes time to record. Namjoon needed an extra shot and offered you one as well. You’d necked it without a second thought and now you’re here, trying to ignore the slight tilt of the room as Namjoon adjusts the camera.

“How’s the shot look?” he asks, gesturing vaguely behind him at his laptop screen because Jungkook had refused to lend you his fancy cameras if he wasn’t allowed to be involved.

It’s a completely normal question.

It’s a question you’ve asked and answered a million times.

Except—there’s something horribly distracting about Namjoon in this moment. The outline of his back muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. The way the sleeves are tight around his biceps. He’s always been a gym rat, always carries around a protein shake that smells and looks completely foul, but you can’t remember it ever being this obvious.

And you take too long to answer, because Namjoon straightens up just enough to send you a concerned look. Which does not help. You are not imagining what else might cause his brows to pinch like that, what might have his lips parting, have sweat dotting his hairline.

You swallow. Hard.

“Looks fine,” you manage to say. He’s still staring. Are you on fire? You feel like you’re on fire, which would make sense. Would explain Namjoon’s sweating and concerned stare and the fact that he cannot stop staring at you. “Maybe a tiny bit to the right if we’re being picky,” you tack on, hoping it’ll break whatever spell the two of you are ensnared in.

It works. “To the—the right, yeah, makes sense,” he rambles.

He moves it an inch to the left.

—

Things are tense, to say the least.

Recording hasn’t been this awkward since your first episode, or maybe ever. You’re sat across from one another like you always are, and usually Namjoon would be making quip after quip by now, talking endlessly until Jungkook shushed him long enough to get the intro filmed. Now, there’s just silence.

“Should we…?” Namjoon startles. Bangs his knee on the underside of the table and drops a string of curses. “Sorry, are you—”

“I’m fine,” he says, cutting you off. He gestures vaguely toward the camera. “I’ll just… yeah.”

Showtime.

You wipe your hands on your jeans, unsure of when they got so damp. Unsure of when you’d grown so nervous, too, because you’d been fine an hour ago. Had strolled in with two cups of tea and a little too much confidence, giddy at what you were about to do.

Maybe the nerves had shown up alongside the alcohol. This sounds reasonable, and you do not, under any circumstance or for any reason, think about Namjoon’s back. Or his biceps.

Namjoon makes it through the intro, dimples deep and wide as he smiles, and you also don’t think about the way his voice cracks and gets a little breathy when he introduces you. It’s only because he’d been drinking, and the flush on his cheeks attests to that. The same flush that creeps down his neck, still a little sweaty; disappears beneath the hemline of his shirt.

“—Jungkook had. Right, Piper?”

Now it’s your turn to startle, and there’s not much you can do to hide the obvious except ask Namjoon to redo the shot. Because it’s bad enough the internet already overanalyzes every move you make, every word choice, every instance you’ve stared at Namjoon a second longer than they thought you would—this is a blatant display of… affectedness.

“Sorry,” you say, “I wasn't paying attention. Can we redo it?”

You’re expecting a playful scolding. A ha ha, get it together, because that’s what you usually get. But there’s nothing aside from Namjoon studying you and nodding. Asking if you’re okay. Saying, “Is this—this is weird, right? Is it too weird? Maybe we shouldn’t—”

An out. Namjoon is giving you an out, and you should take it, you know you should take it, so there’s absolutely no reason at all you shake your head and say, “No, no, it’s fine! I think I’m just a little, uh. Drunk?”

“Are you sure? We can—”

“It’s fine, Joon,” you insist. “Besides, it’ll be good content, right?”

“Good content,” he parrots. “Yeah, for sure.” He fidgets in his seat, runs his hands down the span of his thighs. Very, very thick thighs. “I’ll grab us some water.”

You faceplant onto the table as soon as he’s out of the room. When did his thighs get so thick?

But the water helps. Cures whatever strange, insatiable thirst has come over you, because you feel much more human after a few glasses. Less drunk, too, which makes sense. Yoongi could barely escape your drunken, horny wrath when the two of you were together, so you chalk it up to a Pavlovian response.

Namjoon does the intro again. Introduces you strong and steady, not a hint of nerves, and explains, with a fresh blush taking over his upper body, what the episode’s going to be about. “Someone wrote fanfiction about us,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s, uh, pretty explicit. Jungkook thought it’d be funny if we read it.”

You snort. “He might get fired, depending on how this goes.”

“He should get fired regardless,” Namjoon deadpans. “Anyway, we have permission from the author to read this so don’t come after us, and, as always, we’ll put all the credits in the video description.”

“Special shoutout to Jungkook, though, who was not allowed to be here with us for this momentous occasion.”

Namjoon laughs. “I’m sure he’s having plenty of fun at home.” You both pause. “That’s not—I’m not implying anything with that! I just meant—you know, like. He’s hanging out and enjoying his day off.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Moving on. I have two copies of this. Do you want your own?”

You grin, wicked and wide. “Nah, just read it to me.”

“Making me do all the work,” he huffs. “Typical.”

“There’s a stack of papers in front of you that might say otherwise.”

It’s clear you catch him off-guard. He cocks an eyebrow, opens and shuts his mouth a few times like a goldfish. An obvious question sits on the tip of his tongue: You think you’d be in charge? Instead he coughs, jerks his head to the side, and says, “I guess we’ll see.”

It sounds like a challenge.

Thirty seconds is all you get before Namjoon’s shuffling his stack of papers and clearing his throat. Asking if you’re ready and jumping right into it once you say you are. Reads the first few lines like they’re some old lecture notes, and they’re conservative and safe-for-work enough that you start to relax.

And then Namjoon reads, “A louder one wonders if Namjoon is a pet name person—if he’d call her ‘honey,’ or ‘gummy bear,’ ‘babe,’ or ‘baby,’” and you choke.

“Gummy bear?”

Namjoon laughs along with you—the weird one that almost sounds like a dog panting. “You want me to call you gummy bear?”

“I want you to call me a Lyft,” you snark. “I’m leaving.”

He continues:

And that’s how it starts, wandering thoughts, wandering fingers—the first time Piper comes to the thought of Namjoon calling her baby, pushing inside her, showing her that he definitely doesn’t beg, but she does… Well, she’s a little ashamed. She’s apparently got a reputation to maintain, anyway, not to mention a friendship.

His eyes leave the paper and lock onto you. “Or maybe you’d prefer baby?”

“Fuck off.”

Weeks after that first time, it’s become a habit, thinking about Namjoon as something more than a friend. It’s confusing and a little mortifying and it’s starting to affect her in ways she hadn’t expected. When they record, she feels fidgety—she’s jumpy when he gets close, has all the stupid obvious tells of an unwanted crush: her breath hitches when he whispers (why the fuck is he whispering in her ear, anyway? Doesn’t he know what that does to a person?) inside jokes to her so Jungkook can’t hear, her heart rate spikes when their fingers accidentally brush, she feels itchy and hot and a little embarrassed whenever he holds eye contact with her. It’s terrible, and it’s only made worse by the way he’s doing all of those things more than usual. Or, at least she thinks he is, thinks she’s not imagining the way his eyes linger on her more than she can remember happening before or the way she’s caught him staring at her lips when she chews on the end of her pencil mindlessly.

You’ve completely forgotten how to breathe.

Namjoon’s staring again. You need to salvage this. He’s only on paragraph three and you’re already squirming in your chair and imagining things that are not appropriate. So you roll your lips, return his teasing. “Well? Do you stare at my lips?”

It works. “No,” he scowls.

“You sure?” you joke, morphing your face into something half-pout, half-duck face.

“We’re never gonna finish this if you keep making comments.”

“You started it,” you point out. “Go on, then.”

There’s some dialogue. Some prose that hits way too close to home, has you wondering who on earth wrote this and how they plucked every single thought from deep within your psyche. A pang of fear that maybe you haven’t been as subtle as you’d thought all these years. A moment to confirm to yourself that, no, you haven’t been harboring a secret, deeply-buried crush on Namjoon.

Then he reads—

And then he kisses her. It’s greedy and hot, his lips like a branding iron. She moans a little against her better judgment when he licks at the seam of her mouth, and in return, she can feel Namjoon’s lips curve into a smile against her own. It’s better than she’d been imagining it, really. He’s a good kisser—firm at the right times, soft when she needs it, careful but not cautious. He holds her jaw with one hand and keeps her right where he wants her beneath him (as if she’d want to move, anyway). When their lips finally part, he rests his forehead on hers. It’s intimate in a way she hadn’t expected, and he looks at her as if she’s the answer to every question. Finally, he whispers, “What’re we doing, Piper?” His lips are still wet and pink and a little swollen from kissing, and she barely hears the question—she’s too busy thinking about kissing him again, about pulling his plump bottom lip between her teeth, teasing and… “Kissing,” she says finally. “What do you want?” he asks, sinking to his knees in front of her. And if that alone isn’t an answer to his question… “Whatever you’re willing to give,” she replies. It feels like she’s wanted this forever, this and so much more. Once she got the idea in her head, it’s hard to know if she ever felt differently, ever truly thought they could just be friends. Or, if in the back of her mind, in the dark corners that she never lets see daylight, she always knew she wanted Namjoon. Always knew she loved him.

—and everything goes right out the fucking window.

Namjoon sits with those words for a moment. Scans the paper in his hands and frowns a little when he confirms what you already know. “The rest is, uh. Porn.”

“That is why we’re here.”

“Last chance to back out.”

“I’m not scared,” you lie. “Are you? You’re the one who keeps stalling.”

He huffs. “You’re a pain in my ass,” he retorts, and then nothing is all that funny anymore.

Because Namjoon was right: the rest is straight-up porn. He’s barely able to read the part where he goes down on you with a straight face, turning a deep shade of crimson. Stutters through the part where you pull his hair, and that is not something you needed to know about your friend. You think he loses his grasp of language entirely when he reads, “When he slides a long finger into her and brushes past her most sensitive spot, she arches into him and lets his name fall from her lips in a soft cry. Piper, notorious skeptic, is a babbling, trembling mess as she gets closer to her orgasm,” because all the words are garbled together, producing nothing but gibberish. You think he’s ready to keel over and die when he reads, “Namjoon pulls away briefly, lips slick with her juices, and licks over his top one, pausing to tell her how good she tastes before he dives back in.”

“That was nice of them to include. I appreciate their attention to detail in regards to my personal hygiene.”

“This is so embarrassing,” he whines.

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Gimme. I’ll finish it.” He hands over the papers immediately.

Except you regret it immediately. The words you’re staring at are not words you ever thought you’d read or recite in your entire life. Not even for a million dollars. “Oh,” you say instead.

“See? Not as easy as it looks.”

“This is really embarrassing,” you confirm. “I might need another shot.”

“Y-yeah. Alcohol sounds good.”

Namjoon staggers forward obligingly, looks completely fucked out and pliant, willing to do whatever she asks. She remembers the sounds he made when she pulled his hair, wonders if he likes being bossed around, if he wants her to tell him what to do, to be a little mean to him. Maybe it’s different from her dreams, maybe he will beg her. She wants him so badly, she’d do anything for him. So, she pulls his briefs down to expose his absurdly large member, already mostly hard, and slaps it. Gently at first to see how he’ll react, and when he shudders and jerks his hips, she does it again, a little harder. “Look at you,” she whispers, “such a needy boy.” He whimpers at that, eyes pleading. “Please, Piper…” he whines. “Please what?” “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. She wants to, wants him so much, wants to feel him stretch her open, and from the looks of his cock, thick and long and drooling with precum, he could. “Should I?” she asks. She musters all her confidence to keep the condescending tone up. It feels wrong given how desperate she is to get him inside her, but it also seems to be getting him worked up and equally as desperate. “Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?” Namjoon’s cock twitches, and he begs, “I—I’ll fuck you so good, Piper…. I know how, I promise. Just… please?”

“Oh my god,” the two of you say in unison.

You so badly want to ask if this is biographical. How Namjoon feels about a little degradation; what he’d do if someone actually called his cock stupid. Ifsomeone has called his cock stupid. You dare a glance at him and conclude that someone’s had to. Namjoon just has that kind of energy.

But you can’t ask because it’d be weird, so you keep reading.

“How do you want me?” she asks softly when their lips part. There’s a wild look in his eyes, like he’s processing all the possible options out of everything he’s considered. And then it occurs to her. “Have you imagined this before? Thought about how you’d fuck me?” she teases him as she stands, stepping into him. Piper pushes one hand through his hair, brushing it back off of his forehead and wraps her other around his dick, squeezing a little for emphasis on her words. “Yes,” he groans as she strokes him, thumbing at the head of his cock. “Tell me what you want, then. Want me on all fours for you? Want me to show you how it’s done, to let you lay back and ride you so you don’t have to put in any work?” Namjoon’s breathing is getting heavy, pupils blown wider with each suggestion.

“I told you!” you shriek, laughing in between the words. “I told you I’d…” And then your gloating tapers off, because what happens next has your brain malfunctioning.

“All of that,” he whines as she lets go of his hair and brings her hand down to run a fingertip over his perineum. “Want all of that. Want to bend you over the table and fuck you right here. Hear your sounds in the microphone.” Even in her dirtiest thoughts about him, she hadn’t considered the microphone, hadn’t considered recording it. When she thinks about it though, it makes sense. Namjoon is exactly the kind of person that would get off to someone’s voice. So, she does. She makes a show of turning around and slowly bending over the table, sliding her upper body across it carefully until she can reach her microphone and turn it on. When she says into it, “What’re you waiting for?” she sees over her shoulder the way that Namjoon shivers.

This is… not good. You’re never going to be able to look at a microphone the same way, which is extremely not good for a person who supplements their income with a very popular podcast that requires them to speak into a microphone for extended periods of time.

This is very, very bad.

Namjoon must be thinking the same, because he lets out a strangled a-haaa that’s less of a laugh and more a plea to God, the gods, the entire gamut of higher powers that might be able to save him. No one’s going to, you think, staring down at the paper again. This godless piece of fanfiction will be preserved on the internet forever, will be seared into your mind forever, and no amount of praying is going to erase it.

“I should, uh. Just read the rest, yeah? Get it over with?”

“Mhm. Yep. Yes, please.”

Don’t say please, you almost say. You can’t take it; not after what you’ve just read.

So you put on a show. Steel your expression and your nerves and take it seriously. Use voices and sound effects and desperately try to stave off the awkwardness you know is inevitable because a smut fic is probably only going to end one way, and that’s with you acting out Namjoon having an orgasm.

Maybe you’ll have another one, too, if the author is nice.

It’s sweet, she thinks, the way he’s easy for her, takes his time with her. Strokes his fingertips along her sides and kisses the back of her neck reverently. As much as she loves it, part of her hopes he’s not always like this—hopes he’ll give as good as he takes, hopes he’ll put her in her place. She can feel his cock hard against the cleft of her ass, not even inside her yet, and still, she thinks about next time and the time after that. “Still okay?” He breathes into her ear as his tip rubs against her cunt. “Yeah—want you, Joon.” “Never thought I’d hear you say those words.” “I never thought you’d record them,” she teases, eyes glancing up to the flashing light showing the mic picking up all of this as he starts his slow slide into her. Piper falls even further forward when he bottoms out, letting her forehead rest on the table. He’s whispering filth in her ear, about how he has something to prove, how she’ll never want anyone after this, how no one can fuck her the way he does. She hates that he’s right. Each stroke brings a new sensation: sparklers, butterflies, nerve endings on fire as he fucks into her and licks and sucks at her neck, her shoulders, her ear. Piper can’t even think, and this is what people mean when they talk about being fucked stupid, she decides. It’s perfect. Every time she thinks she’s getting close again, he changes something: fucks her a little shallower, moves his hips just a little, slows down, speeds up… It’s driving her crazy. “Come on,” she whines. “I’m so close…” At least she can tell he is, too. No longer able to sustain the dirty talk, he’s breathing heavily, letting out broken moans and sighs of her name. He’s moving rhythmically now, thrusts consistently faster. “Oh, fuck, Piper,” he groans, “Gonna cum.” One of his hands finds her clit and he rubs careful circles over her, bringing her to her peak along with him, no more teasing. When she comes, it’s with a loud moan into the studio mic, and that seems to be what tips Namjoon over the edge, too. His hips stutter into hers as he comes, her cunt clenching around him for what feels like forever.

You deserve an award, you think. An Oscar. You didn’t even groan when you had to read the word “cunt,” and that’s a feat in and of itself.

“Is it over?” Namjoon asks, words muffled by the hands covering his face.

“Not quite,” you answer. “There’s some aftercare, and at the end you ask if I’ll piss on you.”

Namjoon gags. “I asked you what—”

“Today’s episode has been brought to you by Stamps-dot-com—”

HOLY SHIT THE NEW PATREON EPISODE???????? Posted by u/pod-shipper 4 minutes ago NO WAY. NOOOOOOO FUCKING WAY DUDE THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY THEY DID THIS AS AN ACTUAL EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT EHTU FKF DFGLKDG;L (+705) I wasn’t sure if they were messing around before, and I was quite critical of the “shippers,” but now I’m pretty convinced. (+423) ↳ we’ve been telling y’all for YEARS 😤 (+197) ↳ Glad you’ve seen the light, u/RandomAcorn2058! (+5) ↳ ugh. they weren’t messing around before and they aren’t messing around now. do you guys not listen to what they say? namjoon’s been dating, and piper got out of a six-year relationship just over a year ago. if they’ve had something going on for “years” that means they’re both cheaters, and that’s a really shitty thing to assume about them. not to mention it makes the entire point of the podcast moot. (-63) Why do you guys think Jungkook “wasn’t allowed” to be there? (+314) ↳ So they could fuck lmao it’s so obvious (+329) ↳ because it’s awkward af? would you wanna read porn about yourself w all your coworkers in the room? (+2) ↳ the “it’s awkward” excuse is sooooo lame he’s the one who found it and is the one who edited the episode, he’s gonna see it regardless. (+15) ↳ Tbh I’m more curious about how he even found it to begin with? Do they have a throuple thing going on? Like, why was he looking for smut fic about his bosses? (+38)

You do not get through recording unscathed.

You are very scathed. Perhaps the most scathed a person has ever been.

Jungkook texts the group chat sporadically throughout the week, cracking jokes and making memes at your and Namjoon’s expense which is par for the course and shouldn’t have you off-kilter, but something inside you feels deeply wrong. Feels like someone’s given you devastating news; feels like it used to back in uni when you knew you’d failed an exam and were just waiting to see how badly.

It both helps and doesn’t that the internet is so invested. All the clips Jungkook keeps posting have re-doubled your Patreon numbers, and jumping up a tax bracket never hurt anyone, you included. But all of those jokes and memes largely went unanswered by both you and Namjoon, still too close to the incident to find the humor in it from the other side.

The two of you had sex.

Not literally, of course, but you figure you might as well have with the way you’re feeling. The way you’re avoiding one another. Someone wrote a story about the two of you having sex and you both read it and something about that, days later, feels really fucking unsettling.

In a bad way? You aren’t sure. It’s not like you’re mad or upset or any other synonym. You just feel… off. Itchy from the inside out, and that’s far from the norm in your and Namjoon’s friendship. In all the years you’ve known one another, you’ve never once avoided each other, including the time you’d set him up with a close friend and he showed up 45 minutes late to their date and ghosted after.

(Unsurprisingly, that friendship had not lasted.)

Maybe it’s because Yoongi had always been there as a buffer. You aren’t of the belief that men and women cannot be platonic friends, but being in a years-long committed relationship nixed a lot of awkward interactions and assumptions off the bat. Even Namjoon had known Yoongi first. Had introduced himself to you in your shared 100-level psych course with a, “Hey, you’re Min Yoongi’s girlfriend, right?” because they ran in the same underground circles and Namjoon had idolized him from afar for years.

Pretty fucked up, then, that Yoongi’s off in Los Angeles with his hot new boyfriend and you’re on your couch, Holly at your feet, pointedly ignoring your texts.

“I’m gonna get a cat,” you say to the dog, trying to redirect his attention when he starts chewing on your sock again. Holly doesn’t offer any input, of course, and he’s a lot like his father in that way. “I can’t believe you have a stepfather. You’re a proper child of divorce now, Min Holly.”

There are a pile of unread texts you continue to ignore in lieu of showing Holly pictures of adoptable cats. A few more memes from Jungkook, one from Namjoon’s new phone asking to move the recording date a few days because “something came up at work,” one from the food delivery service you admittedly use too much offering 10% off your next order, and two from Yoongi. This reminded me of you, the first one says beneath a picture of an ice cream cone on the ground, and another one of him holding a water gun that says send me a picture of my son or else.

You eventually reply back with a picture of your middle finger, Holly nothing but a blurred brown blob in the corner of the frame.

That’s how it goes for the better part of a week. Namjoon’s work issue lasts four days. He doesn’t offer an explanation and you don’t ask for one, you just wait for the all-clear text and try to quiet the nerves once you get it.

You’ve never been nervous to see Namjoon before.

The more popular the podcast became, the more money rolled in. The more money that rolled in, the more you could afford nicer things. That meant going from recording in Namjoon’s living room to a bona fide office space. Third floor, an expanse of windows and natural light, thirty-five minute commute by train.

Today, it feels more like thirty-five seconds.

You can hear Jungkook’s witch cackle from the stairwell, and your mind fills in the blanks of Namjoon’s exasperated sigh. It helps, your brain reminding you that you know these people. You know this is Jungkook’s late gym day, so he’ll be in a pair of sweats and a hoodie that drowns his frame. You know that when Namjoon has work issues and feels like an inconvenience, he always shows up with two boxes of baked goods from the bakery near his place, and you know both of them will save the best donut for you.

So you walk in and Jungkook’s in a hoodie and sweats just like you expect him to be, and there are two boxes of baked goods next to the coffee machine. Both of them say hello and wave and, for all intents and purposes, everything is normal.

Except it isn’t.

Because Namjoon looks… different.

Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. He almost always dresses nicely, always looks polished and put-together, usually because he’s either going to or coming from campus—fitted shirts, either of the tee or dress variety, and earth-toned cardigans; tailored trousers that are sometimes corduroy; polished loafers. Sometimes, if he’s feeling extra casual, a stark white pair of tennis shoes.

Today, he wears none of those things.

No, today torture comes in the form of form-fitting jeans and a t-shirt a little oversized so he can roll the sleeves. His hair is brushed back off his face instead of parted down the middle. He’s wearing gold jewelry that glints in the sun. A pair of off-white Converse high-tops. And, much to your horror, he’s also wearing his glasses.

According to the internet, Kim Namjoon is peak husband material, which you can usually ignore, but not when he’s wearing glasses.

You avert your gaze, convinced you’ll burst into flames if you stare too long, not to mention Jungkook will notice and that’s a ribbing you’d rather die than take. So you avert your gaze and pointedly ignore Namjoon, who’s talking about his work crisis to no one in particular. Something about a co-worker going on an unexpectedly early paternity leave, and Namjoon being asked to cover some of his courses until they could find a more permanent fix.

Jungkook asks a question you don’t catch. Because paternity leave means his co-worker and his partner had a baby, presumably via old-fashioned methods, and it’s not a direct mention of sex but it’s close enough to send you into a coughing fit you have to blame on your donut. Neither of them buy it, but Namjoon is a good enough person to look genuinely concerned. Reaches out, probably to slap your back, but the thought of him touching you is just… too much.

So he barely gets out an, “Are you o—” before you choke down whatever’s left in your mouth and cut him off with a, “Yep, all good!” before you’re scurrying off to the opposite side of the room like a little rat.

It doesn’t get any better.

Both of you are so stilted and awkward during recording that Jungkook has to be the voice of reason and call it, suggest trying again tomorrow. Luckily he has enough b-side stuff he can release if need be, Namjoon’s work emergency providing a decent cover, and he sends the two of you home for the afternoon with all the exasperation and incredulity of a disappointed parent.

Thirty-five minutes back home.

Thirty-five minutes to sit in the embarrassment of not being able to do your job. Thirty-five minutes to catastrophize and wonder what you’re going to do if you can’t get it together. Namjoon will keep the podcast, of course; you’ll be replaced with someone else. Maybe someone less cynical, maybe someone more, but undoubtedly a man. After this mess, you can’t imagine Namjoon would want another female co-host.

But as embarrassed as you are, your traitorous brain keeps thinking about Namjoon.

Thirty-five minutes to think about his glasses and his rolled-up sleeves and the way the denim of his jeans contoured perfectly to his thighs. Thirty-five minutes to think about, “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. Thirty-five minutes to squeeze your thighs together and overanalyze the way he stumbled over his words today; how he could barely make eye contact. Thirty-five minutes to draft a dozen resignation texts and delete them all.

You groan, head thunking against the train window. You’ll take a cold shower as soon as you get home.

That’ll cure you.

You get home and walk Holly so long he gives up halfway through and you have to carry him back to your apartment. You take a cold shower and actually find it pleasant once the initial shock wears off, so it doesn’t work to keep all your rogue Namjoon thoughts at bay. You make a simple dinner and don’t think about Namjoon sitting you on the counter and having his way with you. You tuck yourself into bed far too early and consider going back to therapy, because clearly something very, very bad has happened to your psyche.

Needless to say, nothing cures you.

But it’s a new day, and you’re determined to get your shit together. Yesterday was a fluke, because you’re so normal and so capable of being in the same room as Kim Namjoon.

Except—you’re not.

Jungkook’s there when you arrive, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Barely looks up at you to say hello, and barely returns it when you do. You double-check the time, because you can count on two fingers the amount of times you’ve shown up and Namjoon wasn’t already there, jotting down extensively-detailed notes, circling and highlighting and chasing down Jungkook to ask questions.

“Where’s Namjoon?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Dunno. Not here.”

You roll your eyes. “Super helpful, thanks.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes right back. “You don’t pay me enough to also be his handler.”

You bite your tongue. Arguing with Jungkook means you’ve already lost the war. Not worth it. But it still eases your worries a bit that he doesn’t know any more than you do. That Namjoon hadn’t only texted him to say why he was running late because he didn’t want to—or couldn’t—talk to you.

So you wait. And you wait and you wait and you wait. Jungkook lets you talk to people on his dating apps and tells you about his new gym routine until your eyes are glazing over. Orders food delivery for the two of you because he gets hungry after an hour and had already eaten what was left of the snacks before you arrived. Cracks a joke that isn’t really a joke about calling the police, because Namjoon still hasn’t shown up and he hasn’t said anything and none of your texts are showing as delivered.

You’re halfway to hour two when the office door bursts open and Namjoon stumbles through, soaked with sweat and stammering over apologies.

“I am so sor—I broke my phone again so my alarm never went off and then I missed my bus? And apparently they’re not running the regular bus schedule today so the next one was a half-hour wait, but then I…”

You don’t catch the rest, because Namjoon is covered in sweat and breathing heavily and a week ago you could’ve survived this. A week ago you would’ve cracked a joke and handed him a towel and told him to get to work. A week ago you would not have been paralyzed in your seat, transfixed on the sweat rolling down the side of his neck.

You are fucked beyond belief.

Jungkook elbows you in the ribs, bringing you back to reality. “...even paying attention?” You startle, face warming in embarrassment. Namjoon still isn’t looking at you. “This is so sad to watch,” Jungkook mumbles, and thankfully it’s only loud enough for you to hear. “Like some stupid shit you only see in nature documentaries.”

Well, you can’t really argue with that, now can you?

But you’re a professional above all, so you hum an acknowledgment and take your regular seat. Pointedly ignore Jungkook. Wait for Namjoon to assume his position as well, and you’re surprised to see the space in front of him empty. No notes. No script. There’s just… nothing.

“Are you okay?” you ask, gesturing to the space in front of him when he seems confused. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a stack of notes in front of you.”

“I forgot them.”

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that, either.”

Your tone is light and airy, not at all accusing or confrontational, but Namjoon’s jaw clenches nonetheless. He scoffs, fires a shitty little, “Were you not paying attention when I was talking about what a horrible fucking morning I’ve had?” at you that makes even Jungkook flinch. A few moments of stunned silence, and then, “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, that was rude—”

“Yeah, it was,” you agree, and all of a sudden you feel too big for your body. Feel like there are ants beneath your skin, feel like everything is wrong, and you don’t want to be here anymore. “It’s fine. Let’s just—”

Namjoon looks like he wants to argue, but he just sighs and says, “I—yeah, okay.”

This is where Namjoon would usually launch into the intro, a dimpled smile already plastered on his face that’d drop as he discussed another failed first date with that brand of self-deprecation that makes him so endearing. This is where he’d say what have you been up to, Pipe, and you’d try not to groan because how hard could it possibly be to add one more letter, another syllable, but Namjoon seems incapable of it. This is the part that, for three years, has been seamless and easy and instinctual, just two friends having a conversation.

There’s a red light on your microphones that indicates you’re recording. It’s on and it mocks you, because Namjoon is not doing the intro or telling you about a failed date. He doesn’t use that cringey nickname. He doesn’t say anything at all. His mouth opens and shuts and no words come out. What’s worse is that you know exactly why he can’t speak, because you’re thinking about it, too.

“So, uh,” you begin, and Jungkook makes a gagging sound from behind you. “Come here often?”

Namjoon ignores you. “Right, right, the intro…” He sucks in a breath. “Welcome back to another episode of Put Him in the Trash, I’m—”

“Joon—”

“Namjoon, and my co-host here is—”

“Joon, that’s not—”

“Piper. Wait, why are you looking at me like that?”

“That’s not the name of our podcast.”

“Huh?”

“You said Put Him in the Trash.” Namjoon just blinks. “It’s Place Him Gently in the Garbage.”

“Is it? Since when?”

“Since forever?”

He looks at Jungkook, who is hiding behind his hands. “Is she right?”

A beat of silence. “I can’t do this,” he half-shouts, half-whines. “Are you two going to be like this forever? Because if you are, I’m quitting. I’m so serious. I’m gonna quit. I can’t take it anymore. The two of you are insufferable.” Another beat of silence, before Jungkook stands at full height and lords over you and Namjoon. “Forget today. Just go home and try again on Monday. This is so—I’m seriously gonna quit.”

Yoongi comes on Saturday afternoon to pick up Holly.

Yijeong isn’t with him, which is almost disappointing. Now that he’s dating again, you were looking forward to seeing just how awkward it could get with the three of you in the same room, but he looks good. Refreshed. The trip clearly did a world of good for him, and you can’t even bring yourself to crack a joke at his expense.

He, however, has no such hang-ups. “You look like shit.”

“Weird way to say thank you.” You click your tongue and look down at Holly. “Do you see how your father treats me? You should bite him.”

“My son would never. But also, thank you.” He flops onto the sofa. “You do look like shit, though. You wanna talk about it?”

“Not with you, preferably.”

“Oh, gross, is it a dating thing, then?”

“I—no.” You pause. It’s not a dating thing, but you still feel like you’ve got motion sickness whenever you think about it. How would you even begin to explain this to Yoongi, anyway? Someone wrote a porn fic about me and Namjoon. You remember Namjoon, right? Namjoon, that I’ve known and have been friends with since college. Yeah, that Namjoon. Anyway, someone wrote fanfiction about us having sex, and it fucked me up so bad I can no longer be in the same room as him.

No fucking way.

“You look like you’re holding in a fart.”

“You know, I’m getting really sick of you. Did you just come here to insult me?”

He snorts, but his smirk dissipates a few seconds later, a familiar seriousness filling the void. “We’re okay, right? Was the Yijeong thing too soon?”

“No,” you answer immediately, leaning over to flick him on the forehead. “We’re fine, and if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.” He still looks doubtful. “You want me to start singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ or something? It’s just… weird work stuff.”

“Depends. Are you singing the Dolly Parton or Whitney version? And real work or podcast work?”

“Podcast work, and obviously the Whitney version.”

Yoongi seems surprised by this, eyebrows disappearing beneath his fringe. “Like, the podcast with Namjoon?” He presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek when you nod your head. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Like I said, it’s weird. It wasn’t, like, an argument or anything.”

“How weird?”

“You’re so fake, Min Yoongi. You act like you’re so distinguished and above drama, but really you’re just as hungry for gossip as the rest of us.”

He shrugs. “I’m not denying it.”

God help you, you’re going to rip off the band-aid. “Someone… Jesus, this is so embarrassing. Someone… wrote? Fanfiction? About us.”

“About you and Namjoon?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god—”

“About us… uh. Having sex? Specifically.”

“Oh my god—”

“Jungkook found it and thought it’d be funny if we read it for an episode.”

“Oh my god?”

“So we did? And it was really weird, which I expected, because I’ve known Namjoon for a long time, and I never, ever thought about having sex with him because we were together and me and Namjoon are friends, so yeah, it was fucking weird. But now… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it? And now we can’t even be in the same room as one another.” Yoongi is a concerning shade of red. “So our show is gonna get canceled, because we can only release b-side stuff for so long until people realize something’s up, and it was Namjoon’s podcast to begin with so obviously I’ll get fired—”

“Oh my god, you want to fuck Namjoon.”

Yoongi sounds like a strangled cat when he says this, which does not help the way you feel like you’ve been hit square in the face with a frying pan. “No,” you argue, though it sounds more like a question. You do not want to fuck Namjoon. “No, no. No. It’s just because it was weird.”

“Did you forget I dated you for six years? I know what you look like when you want to fuck someone.”

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t be weird if someone wrote fanfiction about you fucking your friend?”

“Not if I didn’t actually want to fuck them, no.”

“You’re a liar. Get your dog and get out of my apartment.”

Yoongi laughs as he stands. Pats you on the back in the most condescending way you’ve ever had someone pat you on the back. “Let me know how it goes. No need to give me credit for your moment of horny clarity.”

Min Yoongi is a bastard.

Unfortunately, as you come to find out, he’s also a correct bastard.

You want to fuck Namjoon.

Which is… not great, you have to admit, considering he can barely stand to be around you, so you take another cold shower and decide you’re going to take this to your grave. You’re going to spend the rest of the weekend getting your shit together, and you’re going to show up on Monday and be a consummate professional. You’re going to look at Namjoon and say, ha ha, isn’t it so funny someone thought we would have sex? I don’t think about it at all because I am so cool and normal about it.

You’ve got it all planned out. You’re going to show up fifteen minutes early with your own box of pastries. You’re going to look nice, if not a little pretentious—maybe a nice sweater. You’re going to be prepared with notes of your own. You might even be nice to the villain of the week so Namjoon doesn’t have to pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh at you.

And then someone knocks on your door.

You find Namjoon on the other side, and all your plans immediately go to shit.

Has he always been this tall? You can’t remember. You can’t remember a lot of things, including how to speak, because Yoongi had launched you into a crisis of epic proportions and now here’s the source of it, standing right in front of you. With all of his… height. And thighs. And that heady, musky cologne he always wears, that you can still smell now even though there’s an unfortunate amount of distance between you.

“Uh, hi.”

You blink. “Hi,” you parrot, and it’s a little insulting how one single word seems to have sucked up all of your brainpower. “Namjoon,” you tack on, not awkward at all.

“Sorry to just show up,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. Very bad idea; makes his biceps bulge. You barely swallow your whimper. “It’s just—my phone’s still broken, and it felt bad leaving things how we did? So I was hoping we could talk.”

Talk. Namjoon wants to talk to you. Normally: not a problem. Currently: big problem. You manage a nod, open the door wider to let him in, and you don’t think about how jarring it is to have Namjoon in your space. You don’t think about how your legs feel like jelly all of a sudden, or what it’d be like if Namjoon bent you over the couch, or the kitchen counter, or the—

You cough. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Oh, sure. Maybe just some water if you have it.”

If you have it. What kind of person doesn’t have water? But you tell him to make himself comfortable and get him some anyway, and you mull too long over the size of the glass. Ultimately decide on a smaller one, because if things get unbearably awkward you can excuse yourself to the kitchen to get more.

“I haven’t been here in a while,” Namjoon says from the living room, and when you look up he’s sorting through a stack of books near the window. Some he’d lent you months ago, notes jotted in the corners, sticky notes in the shape of sea animals on important pages. “You ever wind up reading this?”

The Idiot. Namjoon had raved about it when he was in the midst of his 19th century Russian phase, right after he’d read a bunch of Tolstoy and Pushkin. You shake your head—though, judging from the title, you wonder if someone hadn’t written your biography.

“It’s good. If you have the time, you should definitely give it a shot.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, handing over his water. You take a seat in an armchair, pull your knees to your chest. Namjoon’s still looking through your books, isn’t looking at you, so it feels safe to say, “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah.” He moves to sit on the floor, massive thighs spreading until he’s comfortable. Thank god he can’t see the look on your face. “I just wanted to make sure we’re alright. Things have felt pretty weird since we filmed the, uh.” He coughs. “Thing.”

“Right, yeah.” You realize he’s waiting for an answer, and you offer up a very rushed, “We’re fine, Joon.”

“Are you sure?”

Yeah, you’re sure: sure you absolutely cannot be having this conversation in the safety and sanctity of your own home. It’s tainted now, contaminated by all your uncontrolled horny thoughts about the man in front of you. You’ll have to fumigate. Might have to pick up and move, actually, or call an exorcist.

“I’m sure,” you assure him. “The… thing… was weird, but it’s fine. Temporary.”

“Do you think we shouldn’t have done it?”

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Because, in isolation, reading a porn fic about yourselves wasn’t a big deal. No one got hurt. Everyone who needed to be consulted was consulted. The episode made the two of you a lot of money, and Jungkook even promised to send some of it to the author, so your bases are beyond covered.

So, should you have done it? There wasn’t a good enough reason not to, because the story itself was never the problem.

The problem is staring you right in the face. It’s sitting on your floor, a book cracked in half at the spine and forgotten in his lap. The problem is looking at you like you hold all the answers to the universe’s secrets, and it’s no small thing to be looked at like that. The problem is that Namjoon is looking at you like that from across the room but you’re wondering what it’d look like from on top of you.

The problem is that you’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, have known him even longer, and you’ve just realized today that you want to have sex with him.

And you can’t say that, can you, because Namjoon came here to fix things which really does not lend itself to a hookup. Namjoon cares about your friendship and your working relationship so much he came here to try and salvage it, so you’re going to keep your mouth shut. You’re going to say, “I think it’s okay that we did,” and leave it at that. Because it is okay.

Because you’re the problem.

It feels like a small victory when Namjoon sags in relief. When he exhales and says, “Okay, good, because I think so, too.”

“It made us a lot of money,” you tack on.

Namjoon’s eyes widen as he laughs. “Right? Like, that was almost too much money. Just to watch us read porn?”

“About ourselves. I think that was the selling point.”

He stands. You do, too. “Never thought I’d be doing that,” he says, returning the book to where it belongs. “Definitely the most embarrassing thing I’ve done for money.”

“Being a man with a podcast wasn’t embarrassing enough?”

He snorts. Gets closer to the door. “Hey now.” You’re going to survive this. “Thanks for entertaining me, by the way. For a second there I was really worried we’d fucked it all up.”

Just the ending. Just one more thing to say and you’ll be done with this, and then you can take your third cold shower in recent memory and triple text Yoongi with a full-fledged mental breakdown. Maybe he’ll bring Holly back and you can register him as your emotional support animal.

And Namjoon must sense the awkwardness that’s crept back in, because he tries to cover it with a joke. Says, “Haaa, like you’d actually piss on me, right?”

Except it sounds like he’s got a mouth full of marbles.

It’s no wonder you mishear him.

Because he says like you’d actually piss on me but you hear like you’d actually kiss me, and there isn’t a universe that exists in which the following makes sense: you, stunned into silence in the doorframe, Namjoon saying his goodbyes, you thinking fuck it, last chance and saying, “Yeah, I’d kiss you.”

Namjoon stops dead in his tracks. “What?”

Your entire body is on fire. “Is, uh. Is that not what you said?”

“I don’t think it matters anymore what I said.”

“I’d argue that it does, for the sake of my digni—”

“You’d kiss me?” Namjoon… doesn’t look put off of the idea, which is surely a point in your favor. Interesting to note that his diction is crystal clear, now. Bastard. “You’d kiss me right now?”

There’s also no explanation for the way you say: “It’s only been an option for ten seconds and you’re already begging for it?”

You’d say there’s no explanation for the way Namjoon’s jaw clenches, the way he repeats I don’t beg for anything, but maybe the simple fact is: the two of you want to fuck each other. And, judging from the way Namjoon crowds your space, keeps dropping his gaze to your mouth, it seems very likely to happen.

All that fixating you’d done on Namjoon’s thighs was wasted, you think, as you take in the shape of his mouth. His lips. The way his tongue darts out to run along the bottom at the last second before he reaches out, tilts your head up, and finally presses his mouth to yours.

And you’ve got to laugh, because no piece of written fiction could ever accurately portray what it feels like. How soft his lips are. The way he touches you—gentle, but still dominant enough to have you moving the way he wants, have you backing up into your apartment so he can smile against your mouth as he closes the door behind him.

No piece of fiction would get it right, the way you’re unsteady on your feet, breathless at the way Namjoon’s kissing you. How he only breaks apart long enough to ask where do you want me in that throaty, deep voice of his. How you’re so overwhelmed you can’t decide: unsure if you want to waste the time it’d take to get to your bedroom, but if it’s only going to happen once, wanting to make it count.

So you decide to risk it. Plant your hands in the middle of his exceptionally broad chest and push him in the direction of the hallway, and if the two of you can’t wait, can’t control yourselves, well.

But the story had gotten one thing right: Namjoon does kiss like a branding iron, hot and greedy. Namjoon kisses you like there’s nothing else he wants to do in this lifetime, and it makes you dizzy. Has you off-kilter, stumbling into the wall as you try to remember where the fuck your bedroom is and why it’s so far. Just like the fictional version of you, you also moan when he licks into your mouth.

“Should I do it the way we did in the fic?” Namjoon asks as the two of you cross the threshold into your bedroom, a cheeky grin on his face. “Do it like this?” he questions, pushing you gently until you’re on the back in the middle of your bed, chest heaving as you lift your head to look at him.

Namjoon is so, so big from where you lay, just hovering at the foot of your bed. Cheeks ruddy, bulge prominent. “What’d you say you wanted?”

Takes a second to remember how to breathe, let alone what you’d read. What do you want, Namjoon had asked, right before he’d sank to his knees in front of you. “Whatever you’re willing to give,” you answer.

Namjoon smiles. Puts one knee on the bed, and the way it dips beneath his weight is unsettling. Why does he have to be so fucking large. “That’s right, baby.” Christ, you think, because there’s another thing that fic had gotten right. No one on earth would be immune to Namjoon calling them baby in that tone of voice.

The riposte biting at the back of your teeth gets swallowed whole as Namjoon grabs your ankles and drags you to the edge of the bed. “May I?” he asks, hands poised above the waistline of your leggings. You nod, and Namjoon drags down your underwear with them. “Fuck, look at you,” he groans, awe creeping into the edge of his words.

“You want me to do it the same way? Hm? You’re being awfully quiet; thought you were giving me shit about being the one in charge,” he chides.

Because you’re short-circuiting. Namjoon’s on his knees, just like you’d envisioned, and his mouth is dangerously close to your cunt. How can you be expected to think and speak under these conditions? But if Namjoon can find the brainpower to be a bastard, so can you, because what you’d read and the way he’d reacted can both never be forgotten. So you thread your hands into his hair and pull. The resulting moan is enough to sustain you for years.

“Are you gonna keep running your mouth, or are you gonna make me come on it?”

He blinks. “Jesus Christ.”

There’s precedent. Fictional Namjoon ate you out like a man starved, like he couldn’t get enough. Had fictional you writhing and insatiable, so it’s a lot to live up to, but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He hesitates for only a second, giving you one last chance to back out before the two of you set every last boundary on fire, and then he’s settling between your thighs and making you see stars.

Now you know what it’s like. Now you don’t have to rely on fiction, and it doesn’t matter because it’d never compare to the way Namjoon feels as he works to bring you to your ruin. The way he flattens his tongue to lick long, thick stripes; the way his lips suction around your clit. The way it feels when he groans against your core. The way he says, “Fuck, you do taste good,” like that’s a completely normal thing to say. Like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to you.

But you need more and Namjoon knows it. His mouth doesn’t leave your cunt for a second, but his fingers find your mouth, so you put on a show. Wrap your lips around them, suck on them the way he’s doing to you, make sure they’re slick. Namjoon groans again, doubles his efforts. Slides one thick finger inside of you and barely lets you adjust before he’s adding a second.

In an embarrassingly short amount of time, Namjoon has you unraveling. Presses incessantly on a spot that has your vision whiting out. Has you trembling, a little panicked as you say, “Joon, fuck—Namjoon, wait—” as it builds and builds and builds.

You might black out for a second, because you come to and Namjoon looks… stunned. He looks like he can’t believe any of what just happened, and you blink a few times, try to come back into your body, and when you regain enough consciousness, you’re extremely aware of the large wet patch beneath you.

“Um—”

“Holy shit.”

“Namjoon, that’s not—that’s embarrassing—can you grab a—”

He shuts you up with a kiss. Presses the taste of you into your skin, and all those silly protests die in your throat, because if Namjoon was needy before, he’s desperate now. Covers your body with his own, hips dipping down low enough to press his erection into the juncture of your thigh, and the weight of him is delicious. Has you fisting the fabric of his t-shirt to pull him closer, has you pulling it over his head, his pants following. Has your hands skimming down every thick part of his body until you reach his cock, hard and aching and slick with pre-cum.

“I need to suck you off later,” you say, done with overthinking. Time to just be honest, and Kim Namjoon has a dick you need to feel down your throat. “Remind me.”

He whines, thrusts into your hand a little harder. “How could I forget that?”

“Don’t know. Didn’t know if this would be the only time,” you answer. “Did you bring a condom?” Namjoon nods, fetches one from his wallet and rolls it on.

He hovers above you again. Looks nervous, all of a sudden, like he can’t tell his lefts from his rights. All out of sorts. You’re about to tell him it’s fine, you don’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, don’t have to do anything at all, when he says, “It doesn’t have to be.” You just stare. “The only time.”

There’s a conversation to be had. You know that. Both of you clearly have feelings you need to talk about and sort out, but you reckon they can wait. They’ll still be there in the afterglow, in the morning. So you nod, say okay, Joon, and kiss away the insecurities that still linger.

You think about the fic. Think maybe Namjoon would appreciate it if you cracked a stupid joke, just like he’d tried to do earlier. “Has anyone ever called your cock stupid?”

He laughs, breath fanning against your skin. “No. Wanna try it and see what happens?”

Might as well. You try to remember the exaggerated tone of voice you’d used. Repeat the line—“Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”—and wait.

There’s a beat of silence, and then—

Namjoon swallows thickly. “I, um. Unfortunately, I think that really works for me.” You laugh. Pull him closer. Wrap your legs around his waist as he starts to move against you. Has jokes of his own. “Please. Please let me fuck you.”

You roll your eyes, laugh tapering into a giggle. “Do you know how?” Namjoon nods, looking all too much like a puppy eager to please its owner. “Do you promise?” He nods again. “Okay. Okay, come here.”

You expect him to move fast; expect the first time to be frenzied and a little awkward. It isn’t. Namjoon lines himself up and pushes the smallest bit inside, and then he’s leaning down to kiss you. Threads your fingers together, squeezes your hand. Pushes further inside and mumbles praise just beneath your ear.

It’s dizzying, the amount of care Namjoon handles you with. How soft he is. Does nothing to ease the discomfort of the stretch, the overwhelming fullness, but he talks you through it. Tells you how good you feel, how beautiful you look. Spills a lot of words you’d probably be embarrassed to hear and he’d be embarrassed to say if this was any other time, but in the heat of the moment it all just works to unravel you faster.

He bottoms out. “Okay?” he asks, and you’re rewarded with a dimpled smile when you say you are. Namjoon is a devastating kind of beautiful.

But, as he gives you time to adjust and you give him the all-clear, he also fucks like a demon. What once was hand-holding is now your wrists pinned to the bed, your body caged beneath him as he rolls his hips at a pace that has your eyes rolling back into your head. You’ve been deceived. Lured into a false sense of security.

It’s almost a shame this isn’t being recorded, because you want to memorize all the sounds Namjoon’s making. Want to hear them for the rest of your life. Don’t want anyone else to be the reason he sounds like this, and as he ups his pace and presses his lips to your neck, you don’t want to sound like this because of anyone else, either.

Maybe one of those times in the future, you can talk him into it.

Namjoon reaches down, rubs circles into your clit. Every time you think you might be close, he pulls his hand away, smiles like the devil. You let him have his fun for a while, let him think you’re keen to lie back and take it, and then you tighten your legs around his waist and flip him onto his back.

He doesn’t think it’s very funny. Looks up at you all bewildered. “What’re you—”

“You were taking too long,” you snark. “Figured I’d take matters into my own hands.”

“Yeah? Shit,” he says as you begin to move. “Fuck, baby, like that. Ride me just like that.”

You do. Don’t change a thing, because Namjoon’s cock is long and thick enough to hit exactly where you need it to. You can feel yourself clenching, feel yourself getting wetter, and the sight of Namjoon beneath you does nothing to stave off the inevitable. He looks even better than you’d imagined: skin flushed, eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back, sweat-slick. You want to make him cry. Want to give him the entire world. You will.

Namjoon thrusts at the same time you roll your hips, and that’s what does it. Has you crying out, has stars flashing behind your eyelids. Has you saying fuck, fuck, fuck as he drives you over the edge for the second time. Has you on the brink of oversensitive as he thrusts a few more times to chase his own end, almost delirious at the way Namjoon moans as he spills into the condom.

Has you swooning, just a bit, at the dopey way Namjoon smiles at you, eyes half-lidded and crinkled at the corners.

“Was that okay?”

You snort. “Yeah, I’d say it was decent.”

“Maybe next time you could pee on me,” he jokes.

You whack him on the chest. “Sure. Or we could record it.”

Has you a little shocked at the way his cock twitches inside of you at the mention of it.

On Monday, you don’t wear a pretentious sweater.

When you stroll in, Jungkook’s already got the best donut shoved halfway into his mouth because he’s a shithead. He eyes you warily, probably hoping with all his hope that you spent the weekend finding God and getting your shit together.

And then he realizes you’ve got on Namjoon’s hoodie and he nearly chokes to death.

“What the fuck are you wearing—”

Namjoon appears at that very moment, and it’s so hard not to take credit for the way he’s glowing, the dazed smile on his face. But Jungkook notices, because Jungkook notices everything, and his gaze darts between the two of you: your hoodie, Namjoon’s face, your face. He opens his mouth, something inappropriate bound to spill out, but Namjoon beats him to the punch. “Ready?” he asks you, and you nod.

It’s seamless.

No hiccups, no awkward stuttering. Namjoon gets through the intro without a hitch, and it feels exactly like it used to. Just two friends having a conversation. It’s obvious Jungkook still wants to say something, but after suffering through last week, he stays quiet lest he makes it worse and sends the two of you back to the bad place.

“How was your weekend, Pipe? Do anything fun?” Namjoon rolls his lips, tries not to laugh.

So you play along. “No, not really, just some dog sitting. How about you?”

“Oh, you know me. Had another first date on Saturday.”

“Did you? How’d it go?”

“Perfect.”

It’s a blessing Jungkook isn’t filming this, because your eyebrows raise so far they nearly disappear from your face altogether. There isn’t even a hint of hesitation in Namjoon’s voice, and although you would’ve described it the same way, hearing him say it with such conviction has you a little stunned. “Wow. You gonna see her again?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says, sharing a private smile with you. “I think I am.”

who the FUCK is namjoon dating Posted by u/pod-shipper 7 minutes ago This has honestly ruined my entire day. I thought all the stories he told about dating were a bit… Like, what kind of guy has a podcast about relationships but can’t seem to be in one? But you could just HEAR it in his voice how much he likes this woman he went on a date with over the weekend and I’m sick to my stomach. (+2195) ↳ bro you and me both 😭 i genuinely thought him and piper had something going on fr (+1302) ↳ Seriously might stop listening because of this! Any woman with self-respect would never let their partner host a podcast with someone they’re obviously in love with. If he gets serious with this woman, Piper will be gone within 6 months, mark my words. (+927) ↳ I wouldn’t worry about it too much! My cousin works at a really nice restaurant in the same city Namjoon lives in, and she said she saw this “date” on Saturday and that it wasn’t anything serious. (+788) ↳ Piper got a cat and Namjoon finally got a second date. Face it, it’s over. (+325) ↳ cannot believe him and piper aren’t dating.. do you think i should delete all my tiktok edits? (+4) ↳ this is unhinged lmfao i thought y’all hated piper? you’re in here bitching abt her being a “misandrist” every week and now ur gonna stop listening bc namjoon isn’t dating her? pick a lane and stay in it (-64)

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, and reblogs/shares are always welcome! I appreciate you very much~ ♡

#namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #namjoon fanfic #namjoon imagine #namjoon scenarios #namjoon x you #namjoon x y/n #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jewel writes

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marxy-06 · 10 months

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Favorites Rec List 3

More of my favs -> Thanks to all these incredible writers for making my day a little better :))

Kim Namjoon

Stretch you out (@chateautae)

A little bit in love with you (@joonbo)

Mr. masseuse (@lavenjoon)

"Let me take care of you" (@mintelepathy)

Fantasies (@sweetwritertanya)

Kim Seokjin

24/7 Marriage counselor (@jimlingss)

A better grip (@jinkookspencil)

A helping hand (@jjungkookislife)

You again (@gashinabts)

Soarin' (@aquagustd)

Seokjin's ho ho ho (@yoongsisbae)

Jealous (@youtifulhobi)

Sacrifices (@justcallmenikki7)

Influence (@aquagustd)

Min Yoongi

Back burner (@yoonpobs)

Escapism (@yoonlattesworld)

Finding home (@helenazbmrskai)

Strawberry icecream (@euphoricfilter)

When I needed you (@dreamescapeswriting)

The cockpile: love birds (@httpjeon)

Crescendo (@ugh-yoongi)

Apricity (@delightfulserendipity)

Jung Hoseok

All it takes (@yoongiofmine)

Nibbling it (@jjksblackgf)

The promises we keep (@vyduan)

Your body is an artwork (@borathae)

Maybe the first, but not the last time (@euphoricfilter)

Park Jimin

Oh so reluctant (@back2bluesidex)

Pretty like you (@axigailxo)

Serendipity (@angellesword)

Blowing dandelions (@httpjeon)

All I need (@joonberriess)

Apricot (@vminity21)

Triads and tribulations (@rendaze)

Star light, star bright (@readyplayerhobi)

High school sweethearts (@choiwrites)

Taste of little (@maliby)

Cherry king (@jiminrings)

Turning to stone (@jjungkookislife)

He makes you insecure (@kookiesbuckethat)

Kim Taehyung

The art of touch (@chateautae)

Nude (@btssmutgalore)

Triads and tribulations (@rendaze)

Match made in heaven (@beenbaanbuun)

"I'll take care of you" (@guqwrvte)

Library kisses (@kwanslvr)

Jeon Jungkook

Way Back Home (@solemnreads)

Stretch you out (@chateautae)

Seven Days (@bonny-kookoo)

Jock!jungkook (@joonberriess)

Tracing your tattoos (@btsugarush)

Shades of red (@thatlongspringnight)

Pu$$y fairy (@angelguk)

Idealizations concerning real life relations (@venusiangguk)

Little blue pill (@dreamescapeswriting)

Brown eyed baby (@jeonstudios)

Superstar (@jinkookspencil)

Spicy n' sweet (@thvhoe)

The ability to fathom (@hanniwrites)

Bad omega, sweet omega (@helenazbmrskai)

"I couldn't live without you" (@jungk0oksthighs)

In my eyes (@axigailxo)

"Besties for the resties?" (@jessikahathaway)

You're leaving me (@delukoo)

Love; weakness (@akinnie75)

Bloodline (@jjkeverlast)

Greek god (@bonny-kookoo)

Size kink (@lavenjoon)

Ex on the beach (@beahae)

Off-league (@hansolmates)

Accidental roommates (@jjkeverlast)

Good girl (@bonny-kookoo)

Crazy (@kookiecrumb)

Curious boy (@jinkookspencil)

Confident (@h0neypjm)

Still perfect (@cupoftaae)

OT7

Trouvaille (@spookyserenades)

A comforting hand (@purpleyoonn)

Abundance (@angelicyoongie)

Appreciation (@vminizzle)

Reaction: faking orgasms (@dreamescapeswriting)

Mean kitty, soft kitty (@purpleyoonn)

Best of us (@bts-trash-blog)

You belong (@imnotlauriane)

(If you have any recs pls share, especially for Hobi, Jin, & Rm :))

#writing #bts namjoon #bts v #bts jin #bts suga #bts x reader #bts smut #bangtan #namjoon #jimin #taehyung #run bts #bts jung hoseok #bts jung jungkook #bts jungguk #bts jungkook #bts recs #fanfic #fanfic rec

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euphoricfilter · 7 months

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.　 . • ☆ . ° .• ° kinktober masterlist

31 days of smut let’s get it °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

please read the warnings for each chapter!!

･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.

☆ day 1 ~ taehyung: breeding kink

tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, breeding kink, baby talk (but no actual kids because yuck)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 2 ~ : jimin: pet play

tags/ warnings: pwp, pet play, ass play, fingering of both holes, butt plugs, mild dumbification

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 3 ~ jungkook: thigh riding

tags/ warnings: pwp, thigh riding, cumming untouched, implied use of recreational drugs (weed)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 4 ~ hoseok: somnophilia

tags/ warnings: pwp, somnophilia, consensual drugging, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 5 ~ yoongi: praise kink

tags/warnings: pwp, oral (m. receiving), praise kink, vaginal fingering, cum swallowing

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 6 ~seokjin: corruption kink

tags/ warnings: pwp, corruption kink, he’s a little condescending too, just jin teaching you how to touch yourself?, fingering, cumming untouched

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 7 ~ namjoon: double penetration

tags/ warnings: pwp, use of a dildo (the ones that have a hole for fake cum), double penetration, unprotected sex, creampie x2 ?, squirting

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 8 ~ jungkook: size kink

tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, creampie, size kink, he’s hung okay? whatever you’re thinking make it bigger— he has a fat cock, belly bulge

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 9 ~ taehyung: watersports

tags/ warnings: pwp, watersports (pee), cumming untouched, literally wet and messy

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 10 ~ jimin: cock warming

tags/warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, creampie, cock warming

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 11 ~ hoseok: oral fixation

tags/ warnings: pwp, fingers in mouth!!!! (lets gooo), oral (m. receiving), cum swallowing, subspace, condescending dom hoseok!!! (lets gooooooo!!!)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 12 ~ yoongi: overstimulation

tags/ warnings: pwp, vibrator, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, minor oral? (f. receiving), unprotected sex

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 13 ~ seokjin: creampie

tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, creampie, cum kink, lil spanking action

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 14 ~ namjoon: face sitting

tags/ warnings: pwp, touched on insecurities, face sitting, namjoon’s a munch, grinding, pleasure dom joon

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 15 ~ jungkook: fingering

tags/ warnings: pwp, fingering, a singular slap to the pussy, squirting, cumming untouched, cum swallowing? sort of? cum is ingested basically, all very lighthearted and fun

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 16 ~ taehyung: spit kink

tags/ warnings: pwp, spitting in a mouth (yum?), wet and messy, unprotected sex, creampie

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 17 ~ jimin: mirror sex

tags/ warnings: pwp, unprotected sex, fingering, exhibitionism? kinda, they just fuck in a public gym, the panties stayed on, finger in mouth !!!!

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

☆ day 18 ~ hoseok: squirting

☆ day 19 ~ yoongi: free use

☆ day 20 ~ seokjin: spanking

☆ day 21 ~ namjoon: voyeurism

☆ day 22 ~ jungkook: exhibitionism

☆ day 23 ~ taehyung: knotted dildo

☆ day 24 ~ jimin: role play

☆ day 25 ~ hoseok: primal play

☆ day 26 ~ yoongi: shibari

☆ day 27 ~ seokjin: vibrator

☆ day 28 ~ namjoon: cum stuffing

☆ day 29 ~ jungkook: pantie kink

☆ day 30 ~ taehyung: belly bulge

☆ day 31 ~ yoongi: mask kink

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curryshesus · 6 months

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bts fics that radiate sheer utter brilliance

(aka my favorite fics of all time) pt. 1

hello, hello! please make sure to show your love and support to these lovely authors if you enjoyed any of these reads as much as i did <3 note: all of these fics contain nsfw content (minors dni please). enjoy!

➺ the road to you - by @bonvoyagenoona

| ot7 x reader (tae focus) | 110k

au of all aus, best friend!taehyung, high school boyfriend!jimin, professor!yoongi, college boyfriend!jungkook, art enthusiast and city heartthrob!namjoon, barista!hobi, actor!jin, angst, fluff, smut, series

>>summary: "armed with your quick wit, creative passion, talent for storytelling, and innate understanding of your fanbase, you have met every challenge, surpassed every goal, and achieved the unimaginable. despite the earth shifting erratically under your firmly planted feet, you’ve always had a plan. you’ve made peace with the sacrifices you’ve had to make, and you’ve long forgotten the rejections and heartbreaks that came as a result. your agent keeps reminding you that you’re at the precipice of something new, that your audience is waiting for your next project with bated breath. this is usually when you thrive. so why do you feel so lost? and who can you count on from your past to help you find your way?"

➺ matilda - by @babystrcandy

| yoongi x reader | 141.8k

brother’s best friend au, f2e2f2l, slice of life, angst, fluff, eventual smut, series

>> summary: "loneliness had always been a constant for you, haunting you like a ghost; until your older brother’s best friend, min yoongi, came into your life. you both promised each other something back then - you’d always have his support and he’d always have yours. but with time and age, you weren’t sure how much that all still stood to be true."

➺ bitchin' - by @kinktae

| jungkook x reader | 49.5k

1980’s au, inspired by to all the boys i’ve loved before, e2l, fake lovers/college au, frat boy!jungkook, smut, series

>> summary: "the 80s were a time of choices. which perm was right for you? what color neon would you wear next? none of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with jeon jungkook."

➺ flower - by @readyplayerhobi

| hoseok x reader |

online dating au, fluff, future angst, future smut, series

>> summary: "you finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the flower dating app. one of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. what happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

➺ suncity - by @jamaisjoons

| hoseok x reader | 17k

strangers to lovers au, vacation au, angst, fluff, smut, oneshot

>> summary: "when you’d taken a spontaneous trip to barcelona, you hadn’t expected to meet hoseok. more than that, you hadn’t expected to begin a torrid affair with him."

➺ idealizations concerning real life relations - by @venusiangguk

| jungkook x reader | 40.9k

fuckboy!jk x hopeless romantic!oc, s2l, fwb, smut, angst, oneshot

>> summary: "jungkook loves to be loved, but he doesn’t love in return."

➺ peach parfait - by @jamaisjoons

| seokjin x reader | 19k

enemies to lovers au, fluff, smut, slight angst, two parts

>> summary: "you and seokjin have always been at odds as the top two chefs at big hit academy of culinary arts."

➺ tell me no lies - by @jeongi

| jungkook x reader | 15.1k

ceo au, criminal au, robbers au, angst, smut, minimal fluff

>> summary: "you chose to rob your boss, however; you never expected to fall in love with him."

➺ concrete king - by @bratkook

| jungkook x reader | 16.7k

sweet summer romance, fluff, smut, himbo energy, two parts

>> summary: "when a cute boy in a tacky hawaiian shirt lands a trick in your honor there's no way you could ever say no to him."

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hellbornsworld · 7 months

Text

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(4)๑‿︵‿୨

.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹༺⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ع˖⁺

✿ When She Loved Me | CEO!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @jungkookstatts

✿ Sleepaway | Yandere!JK X Reader | Series | @flowesona

✿ Mine | Jungkook x Demon! Female Reader | One-shot | @playmetheclassics

✿ Your eyes tell | Yandere!JK X Reader | Twins AU | @angellgguk

✿ Noir | Daddy!JK x Little!Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ Love Is a Game: For Political Enemies | JK X Reader | @lleldey

✿ petals with luv | Emporer!Jungkook x PalaceWoman!Reader | Hanahaki AU | @hisunshiine

✿ a lover’s bond | jungkook x female reader | greek mythology! AU | @latetaektalk

✿ love in the dark | Ceo!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @spideyjimin

✿ Like I’m Famous | Idol!JK X Reader | One-Shot | long distance au | @softyoongiionly

✿ I’ll Be Home for Christmas | Pilot Jungkook x female OC | One-Shot | @bluewhale52

✿ Falling | jungkook x female reader | Soulmate AU | @starshapedkookie

✿ Pick Your Fighter | gamer!jk X gamer!reader | @jikookiekosmos

✿ angels like you | Jungkook X Reader | S2L | One-Shot | @aquagustd

✿ Killing me softly with his touch | JK X Reader | One-Shot | @borathae

✿ Bad Man | Badboy!JK X Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ The Monster in the Dark | yandere!sleep paralysisdemon!jjk X fem!Reader | One-Shot | @themochiverse

✿ S O U L M A T E S | Crackhead!Jk X Reader | Series | @smaubts

✿ bad romance | badboy!jungkook x goodgirl!reader | One-Shot | @noteguk

✿ No Guardian Angel | The Crow!Jungkook X Reader | @jiminstonic

✿ Love Letters | Prince!Jungkook × Maid!Reader | @bonny-kookoo

✿ LESSON I | YandereTeacher!jungkook x bully student fem!reader | Three-Shot | @redsaurrce

✿ RED | demon!jk x fem!reader | Series | @armpirate

✿ Follow the White Rabbit | idol! jungkook x idol! reader | @youthguk

✿ ＮｕｍｂｔｏＴｈｅＦｅｅｌｉｎｇ | Dark! Shitty! Yandere! Jeon Jungkook x Fem!Reader | One-Shot | @pynkgothicka

✿ Delivery Date | pizzadeliveryboy!jungkook x reader | One-Shot | @dntaewithluv

✿ Who is in control? | jk x reader | Drabble AU | @ctrlsht

✿ sweetest apparition | nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader | @jeonfiles

✿ m y s t r a n g e a d d i c t i o n | professor!jk X student!Reader | One-Shot | @joonberriess

✿ to err is to love | dilf!jk /ex husband!jk / ceo!jk x afab reader | Series | @jungkookschin

✿ polarity | BestFriendBF!JK X Reader | Series | @darkestcorners

✿ KILL TO KISS YOU | Yandere!Jungkook x Prostitute!Reader | One-Shot | @chummywchimmy

✿ Ode To The Nature Of Romance | Jungkook x Reader | @yeoldontknow

✿ Cabin in The Woods | Werewolf!Jungkook x Human!Reader | One-Shot | @girl8890

✿ Nothing was gonna stop me | Jeon Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot | @wildestdreamsblog

✿ Teacher’s Pet | professor/dilf!jungkook x student!reader | Series | @axigailxo

✿ prima nocta | king!jungkook, virgin!reader | royalty au | One-Shot | @yoon2k

✿ End of Time | Jungkook x Reader | Series | @deepdarkdelights

✿ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 | Yandere!JK X Reader | @euphoricfilter

✿ Paint | painter!jungkookxassistant!reader | @hongjoongscafe

✿ 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 & 𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒔 | environmentalist! jungkook x college student! reader | @miraclesatnightfall

✿ The Broken Vow | Husband!JK X Reader | One-Shot | @lleldey

✿ Euphoria | bad boy jungkook x librarian yn | @btsydtrash

✿ White Pearl | CEO Sugar daddy Jungkook x stripper sugar baby reader | @lovelyspring7

✿ just a little bit of your heart | JK X Reader | @chemicalpink

✿ imminent danger | jungkook x reader | @whatifyoulivelikethat

✿ Knockout | boxer!dad!jungkook x pregnant!reader | Drabble | @jvngkook97

✿ Please Love Me! | Frat President Jungkook x Succubus Reader | @icedmatchatae

✿ The Boyfriend Experience | Escort!Jungkook x Fem!Reader | @shina913

.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺ ☁⋆ ୭ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹༺⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹.⋆｡⋆ ༶ ⋆˙⊹ع˖⁺

OTHER POSTS:

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(1)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(2)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(3)

ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)

BTS X READER WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(2)

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gimmethatagustd · 4 months

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gang shit | knj

Your daughter's classmate has a really hot dad. Apparently, you're his arch-nemesis.

○ Pairing: Dilf!Namjoon x Single Parent!Reader

○ Rating: Sfw

○ Genre: Kidfic, strangers/romantic interest, an attempt at humor

○ 1 / 100 Drabble Challenge (Single Parent)

○ Word Count: 1204

○ Warnings: Shockingly none!! aside from my terrible sense of humor, jokes about Crime!!, and also Namjoon's dimples

○ Notes: Inspired by this tweet. I hope you enjoy the first drabble of my 100 Drabble Challenge I'm doing with @sailoryooons - Please check out Hali's drabbles throughout 2024, too! Happy New Year, besties! ✨

○ Post Date: January 1, 2024

○ Masterlist | Send me ur thots

○ What was Jai listening to? GOAT - Number_i

“I don’t make the rules to this gang shit. I just play my role.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, and you cock your head to the side in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Namjoon adjusts his black baseball cap. His bicep bulges out of his short sleeve when he lifts his arm.

You’re too old to be thirsting for a man like this. In all honesty, you’ve been acting childish all day – literally. It’s the last day of school before summer break, and your daughter’s preschool teacher invited parents to an end-of-the-year celebration. Having the privilege of working a hybrid schedule means it’s relatively easy for you to swing by the school with primary-colored cupcakes in hand. They’re the disgusting ones kids love that’ll stain their fingers and mouths bright blue. Oh, to be a four-year-old. So easy to please.

Unlike little Yuna’s father, who has a stick shoved up his ass, and for what?

“What are you even talking about?” you ask with your arms crossed against your chest.

You’d said literally five words to the guy, intending to start a pleasant conversation while the kids ran around the playground and the other parents mingled at the picnic tables outside.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, Brooklyn’s parent.”

Apparently, that was offensive.

Namjoon’s sharp eyes drag up and down your body, and you try not to let his heavy gaze affect you – and fail when you feel your stomach dip.

“Brooklyn said Yuna dresses weird,” Namjoon finally says with a pout that shouldn’t look so cute on a grown-ass man.

“Did she?”

“Are you calling Yuna a liar?”

“No!” This man is so volatile. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. We’ve been practicing using kind words, but, well, you know how kids are…”

Namjoon doesn’t look convinced.

You feel antsy under his gaze, unsure what to say or do. Are you supposed to apologize? Maybe that’s the mature thing to do. You’re still new to this whole “I’m suddenly responsible for an entire human being even though I barely even know how to take care of myself” thing. It’s a little bit unbelievable, actually!

“I’m sorry for Brooklyn’s judgmental behavior. What kind of weird-, what kind of clothes-” you stumble through what you already know is a shit apology, “Which one is Yuna?”

“That’s her.” Namjoon nods in Yuna’s direction.

You look across the playground to the swing set, where a little girl is lying on the swing on her stomach and spinning around with her arms and legs hanging limp. She’s wearing her hair in asymmetrical pigtails, one higher on her head than the other. Her sneakers are mismatched, as are her colorful knee-high socks. Her pants are polka-dotted, her shirt striped, and she’s got a bright purple cape tied around her neck.

“She’s adorable,” you say softly.

“She’s weird as shit.”

Your mouth hangs open when Namjoon shrugs.

“What? She’s my kid; I’m allowed to say that.”

“Fair enough,” you concede with a smile, “So, we got beef now?”

“Yup.”

Namjoon crosses his arms against his chest to match your stance. You tell yourself it’s very inappropriate to be eyeing your new enemy’s boobs when you’re in the middle of a showdown.

“I’m not gonna lie, I don’t think I’m down for going to war for Brooklyn. Usually, I just like to blame her bad behavior on her dad,” you say with a barking laugh. You cover your mouth with your hand when you snort. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.”

“You’re good,” Namjoon finally cracks a smile, and, wow, it’s breathtaking. His eyes crinkle at the corners, his teeth are big and bright, and he has dimples… “Yuna’s mother doesn’t let her dress how she likes, so when I have her, I let her do what she wants. Self-expression is important, y’know?”

You nod because he’s right. Kids should be kids.

“Plus, I like being the fun parent.”

“Right! Who wants the parent with all the stupid rules?” You perk up, taking a step closer because now you’re partners in crime rather than enemies. Maybe. You’ll work on it. He’s too cute not to get up to some parental crime with—gang members, not rivals.

“Not cool parents like us,” Namjoon lightly elbows you.

“Yeah, they can’t ride with our gang.”

Namjoon makes a face the moment the words come out of your mouth. He bites both lips, rolling them in and hollowing his cheeks, eyebrows raised.

“What? What!” you gasp, knowing when you’re being made fun of, even if it’s in silence.

“Don’t ever say anything like that ever again.”

With a huff, you give him a tiny punch to the arm and tell yourself that it isn’t because you want to feel how tight his muscles are.

“You’re the one who–”

“HEY! NO HITTING!”

Groaning, you throw your head back as a tiny blur of pink collides with your body. Brooklyn tugs on the hem of your shirt, repeatedly chanting, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” until you crouch to meet her at her level. Taking her little hands in yours, you hold them to your lips to give her knuckles a quick peck.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that to Mr. Kim,” you admit, “I should apologize, shouldn’t I?”

Brooklyn nods, and the bulbous beaded hair ties at the end of her pigtail braids swing like a deadly game of tetherball.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kim,” you say as you look up at Namjoon. He taps his finger against his chin in mock thought, and you can’t help but think that you’ll actually punch him if he fucks up this teaching moment by pretending not to accept your apology.

“I forgive you,” he says with another grin that makes you feel like a silly teenager.

“Y’know, Brooklyn, Mr. Kim told me something about you and Yuna…” Brooklyn immediately ducks her chin to her chest. No one has ever looked guiltier. “It’s not very nice to talk about how people look, love. I think you should apologize to Yuna, don’t you agree?”

It takes very little convincing for Brooklyn to run off toward the swings. She flops on her stomach in the swing beside Yuna, and then, after a bit of talking, both girls spin around.

“If Brooklyn throws up from doing that, it’s your fault,” you mutter to Namjoon.

“Real aggressive coming from someone who just physically attacked me.”

“Okay, Mr. Gang Shit,” you quip back, catching Namjoon’s widening grin out of the corner of your eye.

“Listen,” Namjoon touches your elbow, his fingers lingering just long enough for you to give him your attention. Heat spreads along your forearm and makes your fingers tingle. “I don’t really accept either of your apologies. You might need to try a little harder to get me to forgive you.”

“Oh.” You feel your stomach twist.

“Might want to start with getting dinner with me, and then we can see where it goes?”

Oh.

“I mean, if you think it wouldn’t hurt my street cred being seen with the likes of you, then, yeah.”

Namjoon grabs his baseball cap bill and pulls it down until his hat covers his face. “Don’t make me rescind this offer because I’ll do it.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see how it goes.”

Disclaimer: All my writing is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. None of these characters are meant to actually represent the real people mentioned in the stories.

All rights reserved © @gimmethatagustd - Do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my writing. Do not use my writing for any AI purposes whatsoever. Do not use my fics for anything aside from reading and commenting on them. My fics will only be posted on this Tumblr and on AO3 (gimmethatagustd & daddytaehyungie). Request an AO3 account here.

#bts x reader #namjoon x reader #bts fanfic #namjoon fanfic #jai writes #gimmethatagustd #gang shit #100 drabble challenge

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kpopfanfictrash · 5 months

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Jingle All the Way Collaboration

Coming your way this holiday season! Whether you've been naughty or nice, you'll have seven fics to unwrap by @kpopfanfictrash , @leahsfavefics , @kithtaehyung , @yoonia , @cybrsan and @sugaurora.

All second chance romance. All holiday themed. All attempting to utilize the same quote: "The holidays aren't so bad with you around." Come down the chimney, embrace your inner Vixen, and warm up this season with the Jingle All the Way collab!

Content Creator: all amazing banners are made by the truly spectacular @kithtaehyung!!

(Links to be added as fics are posted)

Title: The Ten Days of Ex-Mas

Author: @kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin x Reader (f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; hockey player au, second chance au, oh noo there was only one bed

Summary: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.

Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.

Posting Date: December 19th, 2023

Title: All I Want for Christmas is Joon

Author: @leahsfavefics

Pairing: art historian!Namjoon x art historian!reader (f)

Rating/genre: m (18+) angst, fluff, smut, second chance au

Summary: You have had a rough year following the mutual break up with your grad school sweetheart. On a whim, you book a spontaneous trip to Europe for the holidays to help get you out of the funk you’re in and assert your independence. It would be great, if it weren’t for the fact that you keep bumping into your ex boyfriend.

Posting Date: December 21st, 2023

Title: Back to December

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; brother’s best friend au, wedding au, second chance au

Summary: Ever since you left town to pursue your dreams, life has fast forwarded into one big blur. so when you hit pause to attend your brother’s wedding exactly three years later, your brain instinctively resets and rewinds. because you have to spend it with the very person that had been there at the start. the one person you regret leaving behind.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: A Christmas Fix

Author: @yoonia

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+), secret baby au, s2l au, fake dating au on the side (more on that later)

Summary: One-night stands are supposed to be nothing more than just. It shouldn’t have involved seeing those two red lines looking back at you weeks later without a name or a contact number linking you back to your mystery man. Nothing more but his face. The unforgettable face that would sometimes appear in your dreams at night. So unforgettable that you immediately recognise him the moment he walks into your family home at Christmas, hand-in-hand with your older stepsister.

Title: Everwinter

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; ex-fwb 2 lovers au, second chance au

Summary: You told him you loved him, and that was a mistake. Because years later, you both meet up with your old friend group for a holiday trip, and neither of you have forgotten that.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: Miracle of the Season

Author: @cybrsan

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; angel au, second chance au

Summary: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, a familiar face pops up and you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

Posting Date: December 29th, 2023

Title: A Porn Star's Guide to the Holidays

Author: @sugaurora

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); smut; second chance au

Summary: Jung Hoseok was your first love, a relationship that ended only because your post-high school dreams led you down two very different paths. Yours brought you to Jeon Jungkook, an innovative talent agent promising to produce the most well-loved adult entertainment artists of the era. And that’s how you became an erotic market darling, doing just about everything from outdoor gangbangs to golden showers and a long list of kinks in between.

Ten years later and you’re ready to find a new path, celebrating your exit from the business with one last appearance at the biggest adult industry convention of the year. Only when you arrive, you find yourself unexpectedly face-to-face with your high school sweetheart. Suddenly, you’re forced to confront where the years have taken you and feelings that may have never quite gone away.

What’s a former porn star to do?

Posting Date: TBD

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bteezxyewriter12 · 7 months

Text

Enough is Enough

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 4.6k

Includes- Namjoon is jealous, unrequited love, public sex, cock riding, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny

Gif Credit- @Jung-Koook

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Namjoon Masterlist

J POV

I look up at the stage watching my best friend rap his part in BTS' new song

Namjoon asked me to come to their comeback but this time I wanted to be in the crowd for their performance

I'm always backstage and very rarely I get to experience the whole concert performance vibe every ARMY says is amazing

He argued with me but I put my foot down and he finally relented as long as I had a bodyguard with me and stayed in the front where he could watch me

As if he could do anything if anything did go down

I know he's worried about my safety but it's fine

No one except the staff knows me

In the crowd I'm just another ARMY

I've never been in any photos with Namjoon, nor any of the members, that have been released, so I'm good

I sing along with the song, jumping up and down, yelling his name like a fan girl

Because well I am

"Namjoon!", I scream

He glances at me yelling and rolls his eyes, a small smile forming on his face

Yeah he likes the attention

He'll never admit it but he likes it

If only he knew I'd give him all my attention anytime he wanted it

But I'm not going there again

One humiliation during high school was enough

He found out about my feelings, never said anything or talked to me about it then got a girlfriend a week later

If that doesn't scream friendzone then I don't know what will

Unrequited love sucks but at least he's still my best friend

The song draws to a close and they run off stage

But I know it's just for a wardrobe change

They have another song to perform

As I wait with the rest of the ARMYS, I send Namjoon a quick text

"You were great Joonie! Can't wait for the next song!"

I'm not expecting him to answer back because, hello he's changing and he has to get all the equipment back on really fast

So I'm surprised when my phone rings

It's just a smiley face with the cheeks pink ☺️ but still, he answered

I didn't even know he had his phone close by

I figured he'd read the text after the second performance when we're all back in the viewing room and I'd make fun of him

Like normal

Well, whatever

It's not a big deal

After a few minutes, BTS comes back on stage and gets into their positions for the next song

One of my favorites

Run BTS

Namjoon is dressed all in black, his black hair falling in his face and my heart beats faster

God, he's so hot

'Stop', I scold myself, 'Just pay attention to the song'

Shoving all unwanted through about Namjoon away, I focus on the guys as the music starts

Jungkook starts it and all of us in the crowd sing along with a majority of the girls around me just screaming for him

Each one of these girls would kill me if they knew he's my dorky friend

I gotta admit he looks so cool on stage

They all do and it's hilarious how much of a bunch of total dorks they all are in real life

Jungkook comes back to the center to sing the chorus and just for fun I scream, "Jungkook!" along with the girls, jumping and waving at him as if I don't know him

Being in the crowd is fun

"Jungkook!", I yell again

Namjoon's head immediately turns to me as I scream Jungkook's name again, his jaw clenched and he actually looks pissed off

I have no clue what that's about

I yell his name too

The chorus ends and Yoongi is up next with Namjoon, Jimin and Jungkook moving to my side of the stage to wait for their cues to go back

"Yoongi!", I scream, waving my hands and jumping while he raps

Namjoon is up next

When I glance at him, he's standing with his arms crossed, a scowl on his face, his eyes on me

Ok what the hell?

Did I do something wrong?

Jungkook nudges him and his demeanor immediately changes as he gets into place for his part

He raps and I yell his name like I did for the other guys but he doesn't look over at me again

I push away the bad feeling I'm having and enjoy the rest of the song, singing along

Namjoon stands on a built part of the stage, doing his part as the song winds down

It ends with him in the middle, giving a sexy smoldering stare, the guys surrounding him

I clap and cheer with the crowd as they guys wave at us then one by one head backstage

"C'mon", the bodyguard says lowly and starts heading for a door near the back of the room

I slip out of the crowd, eager fans taking my space immediately as they wait for the next group to perform

As I follow the guard, I hope everything is ok with Namjoon

I don't know what I did to upset him but I don't want him to be mad

He should be happy after performing, feeling like he did a good job

Which he did and I'll remind him of that

The bodyguard opens the door to the viewing room and I step in

I immediately see Namjoon across the room, pacing back and forth

What is wrong with him?

"Hey Jo!", Jungkook smiles, waving at me

"Hi Kookie", I greet, smiling at him

Namjoon's head snaps up, his eyes on mine, a hard look on his face and I'm not gonna lie, I'm intimidated

He strides over to me and I'm worried about the confrontation that's about to happen

I steel myself as he gets closer

"Enough is enough", he growls

I'm expecting a shit storm so color me surprised when as soon as he gets to me, his hand moves to the back of my neck and he pulls me towards him, his lips crashing into mine

It takes me a second to register what's happening

'He's kissing you', my brain screams, 'Namjoon is kissing you'

Once that sinks in, I don't even question anything and immediately kiss him back

His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me against him, his tongue licking my lip

As soon as I open my mouth, his tongue is against mine, playing and we both let out the most embarrassing moans

"Yeah I'm out", Jungkook says

"I'm coming too", Jimin chimes in

I hear the guys footsteps as they pass us but I can't do anything but kiss Namjoon

He's completely taken over me

"Lock the door Hobi", Yoongi tell him

Lock the door?

Why?

I hear the door closed and I assume it's just me and Namjoon left here

As soon as the door closes, Namjoon's hands are on my thighs, lifting me up

I wrap my legs around him, my arms moving around his neck

He walks over to the couch, sitting down on it, his lips never leaving mine

I don't know what's got into him but I'm not questioning it

His hands move to my back, his fingers unzipping my dress

Holy shit

What the fuck is happening?

I, however, don't stop a damn thing he's doing and actually help him by moving my arms through the dress sleeves

He separates from my mouth for the second it takes to get the dress off me, then he's right back to kissing me

And I'm aware I'm just in my

underwear and bra

Well if I'm gonna be undressed, so is he

I push the jacket he's wearing back and down his arms, him moving to help me get it off him

I kiss him, my tongue in his mouth as I shove his black t-shirt up, touching his hard muscles of his abs and broad chest

He's so fucking big, it's such a turn on

I keep tugging his shirt but his arms stay locked around me, kissing me desperately, like he's never going to again

Which I really don't know if he is

"Joonie", I whine, pressing kisses to his lips, "Off"

He moves his arms through the sleeves, then pulls away only long enough for me to get the shirt over his head, then again, mouth right against mine

His hands move to my back, slowly sliding up, his fingers leaving fire racing across every piece of skin he touches

He gets to my bra, undoing it like a pro and tossing it away

Of course his hands immediately cup my boobs, squeezing softly, his thumbs running over my nipples and making me even wetter than I am already

He breaks away from my lips only to attach his mouth to my nipple, sucking harshly

"Namjoon", I moan, pleasure hitting me

My hips move on their own, rubbing against his....holy shit....his hard on

He's hard?

Because of me?

I can't believe it

He switches nipples, his free hand slipping right into my panties, fingers running along my pussy

"Fuck", he groans against my nipple, "So wet"

Of course I am

The man I always wanted is kissing me, groping me, sucking on my nipple and touching my cunt

Of course I'm soaked

And I need more, I realize

I need him

This...while it's great, isn't cutting it

Grabbing his hand, I pull it out of my underwear and he actually whines, making my head spin with shock

Getting it together, I quickly undo his belt, getting his pants open

He crashes his lips back against mine, kissing me as he lifts himself up pulling his pants and boxers down, then moves his legs to get his sneakers and the rest of his bottom clothes off

Then he pulls me down on him, right against his hard dick

Goddamn, he feels so fucking big

His hands move to my panties, a tearing sound filling the room

The next thing I know my panties are gone and I'm sitting on his hard dick

Oh my god, this is really happening

"Sit on my cock", he murmurs against my lips, "Please baby. I've been dying to feel you around me baby"

His words are making my brain stutter

He's been dying to feel me on him?

Since when?

"Please", he begs and fuck me that's so hot

Lifting myself up, I reach between us and hold his cock up

Jesus, it feels massive and fucking thick

His hands grip my hips as I sink down on him, getting his head in

He breaks the kiss, his head falling back against the couch, moaning so loudly

"More baby. More"

I slowly push down, his thick cock spreading me wide open

Seriously, I've never had a dick open my pussy this much

Just feeling him slip inside, rubbing everywhere is insane

"Fuck", I whisper, shivers running up my back, the pleasure intense, just from getting him in

"All of me baby. Please. Take me all"

Oh I definitely will

I push down more until I'm finally sitting against his legs, his cock so deep inside

I clench him hard, making him moan, feeling how he's perfectly against every spot inside me

His eyes open, his head lifting to look at me

"You feel so fucking good", he groans, his hands squeezing my hips hard, "Fuck, so tight. Choking my cock"

I nod, "So big Joonie. Feels really good"

"Good baby. Wanna be good for you"

"You are", I assure him

He smiles, then pulls me to him, kissing me

We kiss for a few minutes, just feeling each other, getting used to each other

I can't help but clench on him so tightly

It's like my pussy has a mind of it's own, throbbing around him

He's hard as a rock and I can feel every part of his cock inside me

"Ride me", he murmurs against my lips

Not a problem

Keeping my arms around his neck, my lips on his, I slide up his cock to his head

Shit, his dick is long and so fucking fat

Dropping down his shaft, I take him all in, his cock spreading my hole so wide, my pussy full of him

"Oh my fucking god", he groans, his hands gripping my hips hard

Slipping up and down his cock, I bounce on him fast and hard, absolutely loving the way his cock feels, how hard he is, how massive he is

And the pleasure is so fucking incredible, it's insane

"Yes baby girl", he moans, his eyes watching me ride him, "Fuck you're so fucking beautiful baby. Riding my cock so fucking well. You feel so good baby"

"Joonie", I whimper as I fuck him, lifting his face to mine and kissing him wildly

His kiss matches my fervor, his hands moving to my ass, squeezing and helping me jump up and down his dick

I'm so fucking wet, it's insane, his fat head hitting my spot again and again

I never felt this much pleasure before

Of course it's him

I knew it was him

"God you're so wet", he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my neck, "It's all for me?"

"Yeah Joonie", I confirm, getting closer with each move, my cunt squeezing the life from his cock

"Fuck, you're getting so tight. Feels so good opening you up", he groans, "Gonna cum for me?"

I nod, sliding my hands into his sweaty black hair, holding on

"Scream my name baby"

I bounce a few more times, his cock sending me right into my orgasm

Pure bliss explodes in body, my body shaking hard, screaming his name

"Namjoon! Namjoon!"

"Yes, fuck", he growls, moving me up and down his cock, fucking me through my orgasm, "Yell for me baby"

I do, his name just falling from my lips so naturally

"That's right baby. Scream my name. No one else's. Not Jungkook or Yoongi or anyone. You scream only my name", he growls, "Got it?"

"Yes", I nod, it registering through the pleasure that he was jealous when I yelled his members names

That's why he was so upset on stage

He was jealous

That is shocking in itself and hard to wrap my head around

As the pleasure fades, I sit fully down on his cock, grinding on him, breathing hard

God that was fucking amazing

The next thing I know, Namjoon turns, laying me on my back, pulling out and making me whine from the loss of him

He, however, spreads my legs wide open, his tongue licking me like crazy

"Oh god", I moan, intense bliss running all over

"Fuck, tastes so good", he groans, his tongue sliding on my slit, inbetween my pussy lips, "Such sweet cream baby. I knew you'd taste this good. I knew it"

Well I had no idea

But he seems to be enjoying it

I lift my head to watch him and fuck he looks so good in-between my legs

Really enjoying it

And so am I

The top of his tongue flicks my clit and I moan from the spike in pleasure

"More Joonie"

"Here baby?", he asks, running his tongue along my clit, starting with the flat of his tongue along to the tip

"Yes Joonie! There!", I cry, burying my hand in his hair

His arms wrap around my legs, keeping them open, lavishing my clit in licks

"Such a cute clit baby. So small. Throbbing so hard for me", he comments as he pleasures me, "Such a pretty pussy"

I moan from his words, again not believing it's fucking Namjoon saying this to me

His tongue slips down, pushing into my hole

I gasp, immediately clenching around his tongue as he slides in as much as he can

"Mmmm", he groans, pulling his tongue out, then shoving it back in, tongue fucking me fast

My hips move on their own from the pleasure, from the desire to cum, fucking his face

God, I want to cum on his face

I dreamed of seeing him in between my legs for so long, eating my pussy as wildly as he is right now, for so long

I'm finally getting it and I'm not tearing my eyes from him

His tongue pulls out, sliding up, his mouth latching around my clit

He sucks once, gently, stars blasting in my vision from how amazing it feels

He sucks again

And again

And with each suck, he goes faster, harder, playing and tugging, his tongue against my bump at the same time

My hips keep moving, my orgasm mounting, his name falling from my lips over and over

My back arches at his next suck, falling into an intense orgasm, my legs shaking around his head

"Namjoon! Oh, Namjoon! Baby!", I cry, pleasure washing over me, his mouth sucking me through it as I grind my pussy on his face

He moans too, as if he's the one orgasming, his tongue licking rapidly around my hole, swallowing my cum, his hands squeezing my thighs so hard

"Fucking good baby", he groans in between licks, cleaning my pussy

He pulls away when I finish, looking up at me, his face soaked in my cream

"I love eating your pussy baby", he says seriously

Oh my fucking god

"I...I.. loved it too", I admit

He smiles as he sits up, wiping his mouth, then pulling me closer to him by my legs

"Need to fuck you", he says, positioning his cock right at my hole

"Yes Joonie", I nod, wanting him so much

I don't know if this will happen again and I'm letting him do whatever he wants

His eyes move to my pussy as his cock enters me

"God you're pussy is so pretty", he murmurs, pushing inside, splitting me open so pleasurably, "Taking my cock so well. Fuck, that little hole is so pretty spreading for me"

He slides all in, his body shaking as his cock nestles inside me, head against my spot

"Fuck baby, your pussy looks so pretty wrapped around my cock", he says, mesmerized

He pulls back, then thrusts in hard, making me moan, his eyes watching where we meet as he fucks into me

His thrusts are hard and fast, stroke after stroke throwing me into bliss, impaling me on his fat cock

"God you're so creamy", he mutters, pounding into me, the drag of his cock so fucking incredible, "Making such a thick pretty ring around my cock. Want more of this cream all over"

I whimper, loving how good he is at dirty talk

I watch him fuck me and god, he's beautiful

He's so big- big arms, big chest, broad shoulders

I can see his muscles in his chest, his abs hard and tight as he ploughs into me

He's so sweaty, a sheen on his body, drops dripping down his chest, some dripping from his hair, falling on my stomach

Pleasure is all over his face and his body

He's so fucking hot

His eyes move from us, running along my body, biting his lip

"You're so beautiful", he murmurs, "Such a sexy little body, pretty pussy, gorgeous face. You're fucking perfect"

My mouth drops in disbelief that these words are coming out of his mouth

His eyes move to mine, gazing hard, "You're mine"

I blink in surprise

"Do you hear me?", he demands, leaning over me, one of his hands landing on the couch next to my head, his hips rolling into me faster, "You're fucking mine"

I nod, "Yeah Joonie"

"Only I get to touch you. Only I get to fuck you. No one else", he continues, the sound of his skin hitting mine so pretty, "Only I get to kiss you"

I nod, "Kiss me now Joonie"

He immediately leans down, his lips crashing into mine, tongue already playing with mine

I fall into his kiss, moving my legs around his waist, clenching around him

I need to feel him against me and I move my arms around him, pulling him flush on top of me, my hands roaming his broad back as I kiss him

His hand moves behind my back, lifting me up, keeping his sweaty body against mine, his pelvis rubbing against my clit with each stroke

His mouth moves against mine, his back muscles moving under my palms, the feeling turning me on so much

His other hand moves around my boob, groping me, his thumb playing with my nipple

"Mmmm", I whimper, my pussy throbbing around him so hard, so fast

I'm so close

His cock is fucking good, so skillful, keeping me in ecstacy

It's blowing my world

"Cum for me baby", he whispers in between kisses, "Cream my cock"

The next hit to my spot has ecstasy tidal waving over me as I cum all over his hard fat dick

"Joonie!", I cry, breaking the kiss, my fingers digging into his back as pure unwavering bliss pounds into my body

"Fuck, baby. I'm gonna cum", he moans

I lock my legs around him tightly, wanting him to fill me with cum

I'm in too much pleasure that I can't talk, my mind utterly blank, so I keep my legs around me

"Baby...Jo...I'm...I'm..oh fuck", he groans, sheathing his dick in my pussy, his cock throbbing hard, warm sticky cum shooting inside me

"Joanne. Baby, fuck", he cries, his big body shaking against me

"Namjoon!", I whimper, his cock feeling so good when he cums

I've never felt that before, never felt a cock so acutely while the guy was coming

It's probably because he's so fucking big

When he finishes, he lays down on top of me, his face in my neck

I slide one hand up into his hair, stroking softly

I also run my fingers up and down his back as well, loving the way his skin shivers, making me smile

I just want to hold him for a little bit before we get up and everything goes back to the way it was

Back to best friends

"I love you", he breathes

I freeze, wondering if I'm actually hearing him correctly

"What?", I whisper

"I love you", he repeats softly, "I love you so much"

"You do?", I ask, still in shock

He nods, "I...I was always in love with you. Always"

Always?

What does he mean always?

He had a girlfriend throughout high school, he got with her within a week of finding out about my feelings

He's dated other idols

What does he mean?

"But in school-"

"I loved you then too", he admits, blowing my world up

"But you had a girlfriend. A week after you found out my feelings for you"

"I...I didn't believe it", he says quietly, "Hae told me about your feelings but I didn't know if she was telling the truth. And I was too scared to say anything. I was scared to lose you if I told you how I felt and you didn't feel the same. And with Hannah, I had already had a date with her two days after I found out about your feelings and I just went with it"

I take this in and while it sucks I can't blame him

I was deathly afraid of losing him too, that's why I never said anything

And almost kicked the shit out of Hae when I found out what she said

"You're my best friend Jo, I needed you and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship"

"And now?", I ask

He still has no idea that I love him, doesn't know if he's jeopardizing our friendship now

"I just...I can't take it anymore. I can't be around you without desperately wanting to kiss you", he whispers, "And I got so fucking jealous hearing you yell for Jungkook and Yoongi. I know I shouldn't have, I know you were just cheering for your friends but I was so jealous and angry. I didn't even plan on any of this. When you walked in, I made a snap choice and I kissed you. Everything that happened was amazing and I want more. I want to be with you, I want to be able to kiss you when I want, hold you when I want, stay the night with you, just be around you. And that made me tell you. I love you"

I smile, hearing those three words, I've always wanted to hear from him

"Joonie", I call, lifting his face to mine

His eyes avoid mine and I need him to look at me

"Baby", I whisper, his eyes finally gazing in mine, hope and fear in his, "I love you Namjoon"

Shock fills his eyes as he takes in my words

"I always loved you too baby", I tell him, "From high school. You're everything Joonie, everything I could ever want and more"

"Really?", he asks in disbelief

"Really baby. Everything you want I want. I want to spend all my time with you. I want to kiss you all the time, be in your strong arms, love you", I assure him, "You're mine Joonie and I'm never letting you go"

"Don't let me go baby", he whispers, "Don't baby. Ever. And I won't let you go"

"Deal Joonie", I smile, "I love you"

A huge beautiful bright smile breaks on his face, his dimples showing

"I love your smile Joonie", I say softly, gently touching his dimples, "It's beautiful"

"I love yours Jo", he answers, "I love you"

My smile widens, pressing my lips against his

He kisses me back and I'm so fucking happy

As we kiss, there's a pounding on the door

"Oi, are you done? We're walking around the hall like idiots!", Jungkook bellows

We pull away with Namjoon rolling his eyes, "Two minutes!"

"Awww", I whine

He smiles, running his fingers in my hair, "It's ok baby. We have all night to be together"

I perk up hearing that, "Yeah?"

He nods, "Yeah. We can go to my apartment or yours. We can eat, watch some TV. Then I'm gonna fuck you all night"

"All night?", I smirk

"Yeah", he nods, "In between we can cuddle and take naps"

I giggle, "Sounds good baby"

"Good", he agrees, giving me a quick peck, "Let's get up before these pain in my asses keep knocking"

I nod, both of us sitting up and collecting our clothes from around the room, putting them on

"Uh Joonie?", I call, holding my ripped panties up, "What am I supposed to do now?"

He grins, "Hmmm, well your dress is long enough to cover you so I'd say give them to me"

I raise my eyebrow but hand them to him and he proceeds to put them in his pocket

I roll my eyes, "You're such a guy"

"You're guy", he adds, coming closer, kissing my forehead

"Yeah, mine", I smile

"Hurry up!", Tae yells, knocking

Namjoon sighs, walking to the door, opening it

"It's about time!", Jungkook whines as he walks in, "Where should I not sit?"

Namjoon rolls his eyes, "That couch"

"Noted", he says, going to the other couch

The rest of the guys file in, sitting in the various chairs and couches in the room, avoid the one we fucked on

"Come baby", Namjoon says, taking my hand and leading us to "our" couch

He sits, then pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me

"Guess they're together", Hobi says loudly

"Yeah. Shut up", Namjoon answers, making me laugh

I lean back, moving my arm around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss

His soft lips kiss me back and I'm so happy he's finally mine

#namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic #bts namjoon smut #bts namjoon fanfic #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon fanfic #rm smut #rm fanfic #bts rm smut #bts rm fanfic #bts fanfic #bts smut

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ze-eternalmarsh · 1 month

Text

Name: Ghost Hunting AU (doesn't have a name yet)

Ships: Namgi (Namjoon/Yoongi), 2seokkook (Hoseok/Seokjin/Jungkook) + side Vmin (Taehyung/Jimin) - BTS

Rating: Explicit

Category: M/M

Wordcount: TBD (so far ~16k posted but big writing thing it's from is 165k+)

Type: Twitter Thread AU (posting scenes as separate threads and adding information to the side with questions and also has some interactions with readers for suggestions or answering questions!)

Tags: crack, fluff, smut, angst, friends to lovers, fuckbuddies, fuckbuddies to lovers, strangers to friends to lovers, ghost hunting AU, survival horror (no one dies though), ghosts, pining, literal sleeping together, hurt/comfort, injuries, youtuber!JK (and youtubers!BTS after a while), near death experiences, trauma, healing, exorcisms, all the fun ghost stuff and more!

Warnings: Main one is Graphic Depiction of Violence as well as trauma responses. Can find more TWs and CWs on this post.

Summary:

Namjoon and Yoongi used to have a ghost hunting channel. Due to an event that neither want to ever talk about again, they leave everything behind and vow to never get back into ghost hunting again.

Years later, they break that promise to find out the truth about what happened back then.

[This is also based on the game phasmophobia! You do not really need to know anything about the game, but if you do, it adds a little plus. I also post information about the game and how it interacts with the AU, as well as other worldbuilding stuff, info on the characters and more here! Oh, and here's the thread with just the story threads. I also posted a pre-story 2seok smut for this AU on AO3 and will post more smuts from this universe on AO3 probably.]

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deepseavibez · 1 year

Text

Nerve_30 [R] || KNJ

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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]

Prompt - @casnextdoor

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Part 30 - Finale [E]

Part 30 - Finale [R]

Part 30 - Finale [V]

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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;

Warning - Cheating(Aftermath); Angst; Borderline Assault(Sexual); Attempted Assault(Sexual); Explicit Sexual Implications; Heavy Angst; Anger; Anxiety; Overwhelming Feelings; Memories tied to a traumatic event; Psychological Trauma.; PTSD; Sadness; Emotional Hurt; Comfort; Panic; Dissociation; Self-deprecation; Blood and Violence; Angry/ Protective Namjoon; A very very angry band;

Word Count - 11.3k

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Additional Warnings - Graphic Depiction of Sexual Assault; Intent of Sexual Abuse; Rage; Hopelessness; Guilt; Self-loathing; Self-hate; Violence! Blood; Injury; Verbal Humiliation; Narcissistic Behaviour; Mentions of Grooming; (Implied) Unhealthy Obsession); Explicit Language;

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A/N - This is it. The following update may have potential triggers for psychological trauma not only on the OC but on the reader. It was hard to write. It was hard to read. It was hard to finalize. Please understand that the following chapter contains a complete representation of OC's current psyche and mental state as she goes through the intended events. PLEASE!! Proceed with caution as this whole update is a MAJOR trigger warning.

The following update contains scenes of a graphic sexual intent. To bypass the scene scroll through the first portion and read AFTER the '###' in red.

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‘I said. I Was. Not. Done.’

‘Oh God, no.’ Your voice sounded brittle, even to your own ears. Please, no! ‘Get out!’

Kwang calmly leaned against the door. The only exit, the only way out considering all the windows around you would barely fit a big dog, let alone a person through. He regarded you silently, making no move to do anything you’d asked, or anything you wished.

‘Don’t you think I’ve noticed the dirty looks, y/n? The hostile personalities from idols that are a staple for being polite, for being civil. The minimal words from your head of security, that mind you, answered only to me once upon a time.’ He stalked you, with each added sentence, speaking softly… smoothly. The tone grating against your nerves. ‘Haven’t you learned enough from trying to tell your father?’ His pity filled gaze made you feel small until he gave it up and shook his head.

His easy going stance fell away and his hard stare made you tremble a little. ‘It’s not their business, y/n and it’s not such a big deal.’ Hard features immediately softening, coaxing… confining. ‘Let’s face it, princess,’ he narrowed his gaze and you stepped back as he got closer, ‘did you not think, maybe for one minute, that you deserved it?’

You shook your head. But even you couldn’t deny that you had had your doubts. Because you did think that. You spent days, nights, going back in time, agonizing over how you carried yourself, how you portray yourself, if you had ever, even once, given any indication that would motivate his actions. You always came up short. Because in your head, you never had any sexual intention. Nothing you said or did with regards to Kwang, was even remotely sexual.

‘I didn’t,’ you breathed out and shook your head. You flinched as your back hit the wall.

There was something wrong with you… you used to think so. Because why would your own father not believe you. You internalized it all, every bad thing, every mistake… was a failing on your part, by association, a failure for your Sung Y/l/n. By being a failure, maybe it didn’t make sense, but maybe you deserved what happened to you.

Why were you the wrong one, the bad one, the attention seeker… As some of your co-workers pointed out, ‘the hard-up bitch in heat’. Yeah, you’d heard the rumors, you dealt with the judgemental looks and harsh whispers. You were the best intern, and you moved up the ranks by both nepotism and knowing how to do your job – neither of which was well received by colleagues.

In the end it was your fault that Sung didn’t believe you or at least, didn’t do anything about it.

Before everything had happened, Kwang Jae was a constant in your life. He was always the first person you’d confide in. He was the project leader, that delegated, that stayed late to show you the reins that guided you through the legalities and the PR, and the providing knowledge on office politics that kept you informed.

He was your shoulder to cry on, he was the one to offer a random cup of coffee in the morning and lunch on a bad day. He was the one with the great advice and the life experiences and it was always Kwang’s office and Kwang’s house, and Kwang’s “safe” hugs.

The rebellious side of you that was so proud of throwing Kwang Jae in your parents faces was given one the biggest karmic reality checks. In Sung’s head, how could you complain about the same man?

Of course, you had just brought it on yourself.

But it was also true, that you had never once strayed in that direction.

You acted out of pure love, expecting to have it received in the same manner. Not this.

‘I didn’t deserve it!’ You denied, your hurt pride playing a big part of the statement.

Kwang gave you a pitiful look. ‘Aw, princess.’ He placed his hands on either side of your head as you cowered away. Your skin crawled at his closeness. The atmosphere was heavy and awkward and your breathing got more shallow as he leaned in further, effectively popping your personal bubble. You turned your head, shaking violently against the possibilities of what he could do and wishing for the life of you, you could defend yourself. ‘You don’t really believe that, do you?’ His words ghosted over you. ‘Think about it. All those late nights working, and early morning texts, all the memories we have together…’ His gaze dropped to your lips. ‘How else did you expect me to respond?’

‘Not like that!’ You found the energy to spit the words at him. This was so hard. Addressing it, making it real. ‘I never asked for that.’ You closed your eyes and vehemently denied his manipulation.

You knew yourself. You never thought of him that way.

He hummed. He was calm. Too calm for your liking. ‘I’ve missed you.’ Me too. But the old you. The good you. ‘I’ve missed our talks and our phone calls.’

The good days. Pathetic. You were pathetic! Because some part of you longed for those days back. Some part of you still hoped he would remember that there really were good days and some amazing memories, as a daughter, as a mentee, as a friend. Some part of you wanted him to be better, to stand before you and apologize. Some part of you still fucking cared about him.

And you hated how dirty you felt to even validate those feelings, because in your mind and maybe in general, it invalidated what he did to you. You made it okay. But it was not. It was far from okay. You hated feeling like you were used this whole time – like none of it was real. You hated that you had to deal with the pain, the betrayal, the loss of a father figure all over again.

Above all you longed for this all to be over and act like it never happened just so you didn’t have to suffer through the memory of it. You wished he would look at his actions, his behavior toward you, and think and fucking realize that what he did was wrong.

‘Would it be so hard,’ his one hand lifted a strand of your hair and ran it through his fingers. You wanted to turn away from the sight when he bent his head to sniff it, but you willed yourself to meet his gaze when he was done, ‘to think of me in that way.’ His eyes roved over your face, gauging for a reaction, the intention in them making you want to cower in fear. 'You want me, you just don't know it yet.'

You shook your head as he tucked your hair behind your earlobe and the knuckle of his middle finger brushed against the underside of your ear. You shut your eyes and forcefully opened them again – you wanted to keep your eyes open. You had to see. ‘Years, y/n.’ The backs of his fingers traced over your cheek. ‘Years we spent together. The things I have wanted to do to you. And your pretty breasts.’ He leaned in. ‘And your lips… ‘A satisfied rumble rolled out of him. ‘Years of imagining how you would taste --,’

‘No! Oh god, no. Please, stop.’ Your voice shook as you turned away in revulsion. You wanted to drop to your knees and hide in a ball. The very thought of it, combined with the wetness between your legs from your earlier antics had you feeling sick to your stomach. Namjoon. Internally you begged for your husband, because this was one demon, you couldn’t fight alone. Namjoon, please.

‘I could take care of you, y/n.’ His sincere words made you cringe, unwilling to even fathom the idea he intended to bring across. ‘It could be like befor–,’

‘Y/n.’ Ria’s voice sounded through the hardwood and cut him off. Hope flared within you. ‘Babe, you’ve been in there awfully long.’ The handle turned, but the door didn’t open. Your heart sank. He’d locked the door. She rapped her knuckles on the wood. ‘Y/n, I can’t get in.’

‘Ria, hel -- !’ You yell in a panic and before Kwang covers your mouth with his hand. Ria, please, you screamed in your head.

‘Y/n!’ Ria called and turned the knob with more force.

You pushed at Kwang’s chest, your fear outweighing your disgust when he wouldn’t budge. His hand closed around your throat and pushed your head against the wall. Your eyes watered against the impact. And you blindly scratched and clawed at his hand. You couldn’t open your mouth, you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t even cry out from how hard his thumb and forefinger held onto your jaw.

You squirmed when the hand over your mouth moved between the slit of your dress and his fingers drew a pattern against your inner thigh. Ice tore through you at the sudden reminder - 'No panties?' Kwang smiled crookedly. Finding it sexy. 'Makes this way easier than it needs to be.'

Your husband sure. You would forego underwear anytime. But with this man, you wished you had layers between you.

You cowered hard against the wall, wanting to get away from his touch. ‘Now drop your hands… and tell Ria you’re fine…’ he threatened you, ‘or I go higher.’

It was one thing to want to control you, but deriving pleasure from violence was something you had never experienced with him. He used to say that he loved you, cared for you… it was implied that he would never want to hurt you. But someone who loved you… wouldn’t do this.

You nodded fast, when his hand traced the seam between your inner thigh and vagina. 'You're wet, princess.' He breathes against you. 'Maybe you were built for a bit of pain with your pleasure after all.'

You shook violently and your stomach lurched at his implication. You would do as he said. As long as it bought you some time. He eased his hold on your jaw, but he kept his fingers placed perfectly, just in case you did the opposite of what he asked. ‘I-I’m fine, Ria. Just slipped.’

‘Oh fuck, are you hurt?’ She tried the doorknob again. ‘Are you able to get up? Try to let me in.’

‘I -,’ you yelped when he pinched your inner thigh, ‘-’ll be out in a minute.’

‘If you’re sure,’ Ria’s voice was unsure – and Ria was never unsure. Maybe she knew. Maybe she would get you out.

His fingers danced across your front, a whisper, a warning, and you squirmed, trying to push your body even further into the wall. 'I'm fine!' you repeated more forcefully, in an effort to be convincing.

You waited with baited breath, Kwang’s head inclined towards the door, as he listened to Ria’s footsteps disappear. He dropped his hand from between your dress and covered your mouth as soon as the words were out. ‘That wasn’t so hard,’ his warm breath grazed over your face, ‘was it?’

You swallowed hard against the bile at the back of your throat, trusted your instincts, like the last time and found it in you to bring your knee up, hard.

But he deflected your move by lifting his own leg and blocking your kick with his knee. ‘Ah-ah-ah!’ He tutted. ‘I know you, y/n.’ His nose brushed against yours and squirmed against the wall. 'Not again. Not this time.' Your nostrils burn as you recognize his cologne, a scent that was once so familiar, now repelled you. His eyes were the worst, his smirk, the zest in his features… something… something excited him about you fighting back.

Then you wouldn’t. It was an altogether different thing that some part of you couldn’t. You couldn't... move again. But how did you get out of this then?

His nose traced along your shoulder, inhaling your scent, getting a fill of whatever sick fantasy played in his head.

You clenched your fists at your sides, wanting to fight this, wanting to defend yourself, just to move, just to try, but when you made to move again… you just stood there. Frozen. You wished this would stop. You wished you could ask why he has to hurt you to get his point across and why now, why after all these years. Your eyes pleaded with him as he muffled your words and the panic overwhelmed you as the tears streamed down your face.

Please. Please. Please. You looked to the ceiling, wishing he would stop, wishing this would all be over.

Your nails dug into your skin, you remained unresponsive as his forefinger traced the seam of your dress on the one shoulder. A soft… light… horrifying touch, that teased your skin as his finger followed the strap from one shoulder to the top of your breast.

‘Fight, y/n.’ He egged you on. ‘You always liked to fight. All that spirit, all that fire.’

You grit your teeth. Closing your eyes, you retreated into yourself. Ice. Be ice. You went into that safe space in your mind, the cold state, the unresponsive one. You were in so much pain. Namjoon. Fuck it all to hell, would Namjoon think something else? If you even got out now, would your family even believe you? Would Namjoon think bad of you? Would he not want you anymore?

‘Guess I can admire my handiwork.’ He leered at you. ‘I was the one to tame you. I had to support you. I had to take care of you… some would say I practically raised you. And it was all so good, y/n.’ He sighs regretfully. ‘We had an arrangement, we had a bond… instead of embracing it, you turned your back on me.’

You heard him. But with every word he sounded further away, like ice water, tricking through your veins, until it formed a barrier, between what you were feeling and no feeling at all.

‘You couldn’t think about me, princess? You couldn’t spare me a little gratitude?’

Oh he had no idea, how many days and nights went by, where you felt like you were in the wrong, where you felt like you owed him for being there for you… and thank some sort of sane part of you, that gripped onto the will to distance and heal and take care of your bruised heart.

'But I'm here now,' he sounded like he actually believed that you still needed him, like you did back then. 'And we can pick up where we left off.'

You felt… nothing. Not anymore. The man from your past that you had respected, that you loved as a guardian, that you trusted to care for you… he was gone. In fact, he never really existed.

Funnily enough, it didn’t seem like he was too eager about getting his dick inside you.

Rape was faster than this right? You cringed internally at your choice of words. But that was what it was… sexual assault, abuse, grooming… rape. His belt would be unbuckled, his pants down his legs… And your mind maybe fuzzy, and back then it felt every bit like he wanted to force himself on you, which he did… but now… he was pacing himself. It was like he enjoyed… touching you, having access to your body as if he had any right over it. If you were being honest, it felt a bit like mind rape, like having your body respond or not respond physically, because of gentle touches and an emotionally warped connection, but an emotional connection nonetheless that could be drawn from. It made you feel even worse, it made you feel psychotic, because even though every cell in your brain screamed for you to react, your body remained frozen in fear and something… something in you was not pulling away completely. It was disgusting and wrong and you felt betrayed by your own body.

You were not getting out of this one.

And even if you did, you would still be in the wrong. Kwang Jae was a sociable, charismatic, smart, absolutely positive person. That more than made up for a good standing, because he could be that manipulative.

Sniveling openly, uncaring about whether or not he wanted to care, or wanted to hurt you, you realized, after this, you really were going to be all alone, because no one would believe you. Your family wouldn’t want you. Yuna would hate you, blame you, your husband… How could anyone believe in you when you couldn’t believe in yourself? This war inside you, it was exhausting…

You cried against his palm, when his fingertips traced the edge of your dress slit.

‘That’s better.’ He groaned against your cheek when your cries became vocal.

You leaned against the wall so your legs didn’t give out from under you, as you felt a hint of Kwang’s teeth against your shoulder. ‘Come on, princess, give me something. You’re not making this fun.’ A light kiss on your neck, the trail going south. ‘Talk to me, argue with me, just like how you spar with that husband of yours.’

Never! Your blood thrums under your skin and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself quiet, because nobody was allowed to compare themselves with your husband, least of all him.

‘Nothing?’ He lifted his head and gazed at you. ‘No reaction?’ His self-assured smirk chills you to the bone. ‘You must not love him as much as you claim.’ He muses. ‘Maybe all you did was try to replace me with him.’

You finally brought up your fists, struggling against him, a possessive rage in your gut that didn’t know fear, rearing its head when Kim Namjoon was in question.

He catches your wrists in his one free hand and holds them above your head, his elation so apparent it sickened you. ‘That’s more like it.’ He says in a low voice and uses the leverage he has on your hands to get closer to your body, his proximity a suffocating thing.

The air flexes as he leans in…

Wrong. His fingers sought higher, and you couldn’t let him do this to you. Wrong. This was wrong. He was wrong. It was all wrong. His words about your husband somehow woke you up. Your fingers curl back into fists. He's too heavy to push off, but… You bring your head front in a sharp motion, and headbutt him as hard as you possibly can.

He yelps, and clutches the soft bone of his nose and you forego the pain on your head for the freedom of your wrists.

You want to ignore the instinctive feeling, the anger, the rage, the part of you that wants to fight and get you in trouble with him, because you know it would be no use, but you couldn’t ignore it!

Using all of those feelings of motivation, you pulled back your fist and swung as hard as you could, praying to something or the other in the universe that you met your mark. It did just that as you heard flesh meeting flesh.

‘Fuck!’ Kwang exclaimed as he reared back and held his jaw.

You shook with the force of your actions, an internal war causing complete and utter chaos, because he was the closest man you used to have as a father, and the greatest mentor that helped you hone your skills and you would have once done anything to make him proud and make him happy but not this!

You swatted your tears away and watched as he moved his jaw, then laughed. The fucker laughed as his nose bled and it was terrifying. But you felt the adrenaline.

This man exploited you. He used his niece to get close to you, he used his relationship with your father as leverage, work as an excuse and respect, loyalty, love, for his sick mind games to have some sort of control over you, to be revered, and now you knew, you were nothing… but a good piece of ass.

You breathed hard, your vision got clear, and you held your hands in front of you as the burn in the backs of your eyes consumed you in a feral rage you didn’t know you had. You would get out of this, without screaming, or yelling, or however. But you would!

There’s a glint in his eye when he finally makes eye contact with you. A switch from his calm facade turning into something you’ve never seen…something dark and twisted… Kwang lunged for you at the same time that the door swung open – then all hell broke loose.

###

‘Motherfucker! Get your fucking hands off my wife!’ Namjoon grabbed Kwang by his collar and pulled him back away from you.

Damsel in distress bullshit aside, you were so fucking glad to see him. Namjoon grabbed Kwang by his lapels and punched him in the jaw. He was going to do it again when Jin blocked your view.

‘Y/n,’ Jin rushed toward you and cupped your face in his hands. ‘Are you okay?’ He searched your face and gave you a once over.

Your face screwed up, a pathetic attempt not to fall apart as you dived in his arms. Jin crushed you to him, just as Ria came up from behind. ‘I’m sorry, I had to, I, he –’

‘It’s okay,’ she caressed your hair and comforted you, checking for any marks or bleeding.

You watched as Kwang fought back, swinging wildly, but your husband was too far gone. Kwang was no match for Namjoon’s height, or his build, not to mention his rage. Namjoon turned Kwang around and slammed him face first into the wall. And he pulled back and did it again. ‘Joon, stop!’ Yoongi grabbed one hand, but Namjoon shrugged him off and did it again, until he heard a crunch of bone. ‘Namjoon!’ Yoongi turned around and pushed at his chest. ‘Stop! Y/n needs you!’

Kwang slumped to the floor and spat blood from his dripping nose. ‘Pretty boy packs quite a punch.’ The fucker was till smiling. It was sadistic.

Years. Fucking years and you had never seen this side. Not even who, but what… what did you trust… how…

‘Shut the fuck up!’ You had never heard Hobi speak like that. He lifted Kwang by his arms with the help of Jungkook and shoved him out of the restroom away from you and Namjoon.

Namjoon whirled on you, and the raw fury in his eyes, made you flinch out of Jin’s hold and back up against the wall. Your husband didn’t back down even then as he approached you. He would never hurt you, but it was till fucking terrifying. ‘What. The fuck. Did he do?’ He grit out.

You bit your lip and avoided eye contact.

‘Y/n.’ Namjoon prompted you again, his nostrils flared but his voice was calmer than you’d like to admit.

‘Joon maybe –,’

Ria was silenced with a look.

You shook your head. You didn’t want to make Namjoon mad, you didn’t want him to look at you with pity, or worse, like you were… damaged. A heaviness settled in your chest when Namjoon stands in front of you, lifts your chin up with two fingers, and something tears into you to see him so upset. His muscles bunched up, his stormy gaze, your husband was in a state and it was all your fault.

Holding onto your forearm, Namjoon crowded you. ‘Baby,’ He dropped his forehead against yours.

Tears welled up and your teeth clamped shut. But as he stared you down, as he coaxed you, and reminded you he was there, that he would handle this, that he would take care of it no matter what it was. For once, or in fact, just like every time, when it came to Kim Namjoon, you gave in.

Your voice shakes, and you purse your lips, as your chest burns. ‘He tried to - to, m-me,’ you lift your hands in an effort to speak clearly, ‘he, tou-, tried to, m-, me.’ Your tremulous tone was a testament to exactly how unsteady you were.

Apparently that was all he needed to hear. Namjoon’s jaw grew impossibly defined, sharper, harder, until his rapid breathing and flared nostrils were too much for even his body to contain. With a snarl, an ugly sound torn from his chest, he turned to walk in the direction of Hobi and Kwang.

‘N-No, don’t go!’ You cried out after him. ‘Namjoon, no!’ You grabbed the end of your dress with your good hand, and ran after him. In this mood, in this rage, even if it was because of you, Namjoon couldn’t do anything to him. He had a reputation to protect.

‘I should kill you for ever touching her!’ Namjoon stormed over to where Hoseok held Kwang by his lapels in the middle of the hall, just passed the music set up and took over, much to the surprise of the onlookers. Surprise because Hoseok initiated it or because Namjoon was enabling such behavior, you didn’t know, you also didn’t care.

‘Do it. Fuck him up!’ Hoseok egged him on. ‘I’ll just say it was self-defense.’

‘I second that.’ Yoongi added.

Yeon and Xan had already decided to back up your family, showing where their loyalty was as they flanked Yoongi.

Kwang’s gaze danced from Hoseok, to Yoongi and back to you. He smiled a bloody smile. ‘One cock isn’t enough for you, y/n? You had to try all?’

You inhaled sharply at the rude insinuation. It wasn’t so much that it was said to you. Being called a whore? Fuck that. But… you looked at the faces of your family, you would never want to hurt them.

Kwang sniggered, seemingly out of sorts, nothing about saving face or keeping up facades. ‘You little bi --,’

Another fist was slammed into Kwang’s jaw, causing him to veer out of Namjoon’s grasp and back a few steps. You covered your mouth with your hands, wondering if everyone had lost their fucking minds.

Before he could gain his balance, Namjoon cut off his air supply, by pushing him against the wall, an arm pushing firmly against his throat as your father got nose to nose with Kwang. ‘Don’t you dare, talk about my daughter that way.’

Nothing could have prepared you, absolutely nothing, to see your father defend you, not verbally, not physically and especially against someone he never had before.

‘Of course, y/n wants all of us,’ Taehyung took the new turn of events in stride, swirled the drink in his hand, ‘she’s building a harem.’

You had a feeling Taehyung only had the drink in his hand because he needed something to do with his hands… or he’d be as wild-card as Hobi was – the sun devoid from the male in question as he paced behind Namjoon.

‘So, yours wouldn’t meet any expectation,’ Jin pointed out casually while playing along.

You made a face. This wasn’t the time to joke.

Kwang struggled against your husband’s hold. ‘Sung -- ,’

‘Shut up!' Sung growled and spat at his feet. 'You turned me against my own daughter, all these years, all this time.'

Kwang’s next words tore your breath from your lungs, the confirmation ripping through an old wound that refused to heal. ‘You knew she was telling the truth,’ Kwang’s teeth were bloody, his nose at an odd angle, but he berated your father nonetheless, ‘You knew! But your company and our partnership… your reputation was too important.’

Your father turned back to look at you, and you saw the truth, the remorse in his eyes. But it was too late. Back then… all you needed was for him to believe you. If he had shown that, you would have saved his reputation, you would have done whatever he asked, you would never be anyone’s problem. That he didn’t, that he chose what was important to him, when you were the one that was supposed to be the priority… it was too late. You let him see your anger, your hurt, your betrayal… and satisfaction washed over you when shame etched its way on his features.

‘We could break you,’ Namjoon threatened, not bothering to stoke old flames, ‘right here, right now for even daring to lay a single finger on my wife.’

‘I’d kill you for even thinking about touching her at all.’ Hoseok glared, his eyes colder than you’d ever seen them. ‘You sick fuck!’ His body trembled in a fury, his breaths becoming sharper as he worked himself up. Yoongi placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing hard.

‘Your friend over here seems angrier than you,’ Kwang aimed the statement at Namjoon, ‘internal politics perhaps.’

‘Fuck you!’ Hoseok spat.

‘Ah,’ Kwang nodded with what little motion he had, ‘A husband who's the leader, a ‘close’ friend that’s almost snarling in possessive ferity, and a band willing to tank everything for one woman… and I’m the one being blamed?’ His tone held incredulity.

It took you a second, the fog in your brain was too much to handle, but you got it at almost the same time everyone else did. He was insinuating that you were a whore. Again.

Hoseok lunged, and Yoongi held him back before he could do anything. But the most surprising defense came from someone else.

’No one,’ A cold hiss like an ice pick dancing across your spine, ‘is allowed to talk about my Noona that way.’ Jungkook’s voice was edgy, grated, a harshness that you would have never expected from him, and the heavy silence that descended after left you reeling from the amount of respect it held.

Tears pricked your eyes.

Kwang hummed. You knew what he was thinking, Jungkook was the youngest, and would be the most vulnerable to manipulation. ‘Y/n, still using your charm as usual,’ Kwang hissed at you, ‘come on, princess, don’t let me take all the blame.’

‘Don’t look at her,’ Jin made a face and embraced you so you were blocked from view.

You stared at Kwang like he was a stranger. This wasn’t the man that grew you up to be strong and smart and encouraged you to live life, this was not your mentor, or your friend… you had to look away. It hurt – it cut deeply, into a wound you had fooled yourself into thinking was scabbed over.

‘Fuck this! Call the police, or get rid of him.’ Taehyung said, as he came up to you, his eyes giving you a once over, stopping at the whiskey stain.

You looked at him, wanting to tell him how sorry you were, but when he met your gaze you saw sadness – a sadness for you… You couldn’t work with sad. Anger was better. But you hated when your family was sad.

‘Yeon and Xan will hide the body…’ Jimin motioned toward them.

‘And everyone here,’ Hoseok spread his arms wide, indicating to the few people around the room, ’will be none the wiser.’

‘I’m right here,’ Kwang grit out, clearly offended that they were talking across him.

‘Who gives a fuck?’ Jimin countered.

Kwang spat blood on the floor, speaking through your father’s strong hold. ‘She’s not worth it.’

A moment suspended in time. You held your breath, waiting for the other shoe to fall. But even if it did, it would bear so little impact compared to Yoongi’s next words.

‘Then why does it hurt,’ the stoic male muttered, his face sporting a devilishly satisfied smirk from behind Hobi, a heavy hand still holding onto the usually more optimistic member of the band, ‘that she never, ever once, would even consider … choosing you.’

You winced at the brutal statement, remembering all too well that Yoongi was quiet not only because he had a strong foundation and a good head on his shoulders, but that the yang of that yin combination was an indication of his capability of cruelty.

Kwang’s face turned ugly from the remnants of a badly bruised ego.

Namjoon held a hostile stance, next to your father, all but encouraging any of his actions. A piece of your heart turned over at the idea of them finally being on the same page, but the empty pit of your stomach was too uncomfortable for you to ignore.

The people around you, Yeon and Xan, Ria, your mom… no one stepped in, no one interfered.

Your maknaes, Taehyung, Jimin, even Jungkook, were content to let this carry on, their eyes blazing with a fury on your behalf – a love so true it could bring you to your knees.

You looked up at Jin, suddenly all too aware of his arms, steel bands holding you in place, ready to stand in front of you or hold you to him, but protect you with everything in his power. Your chest felt like lead, at the realization that Kwang could actually die here, no one would stop it, no one would even try.

But your husband was not a killer. Neither was your father, not directly. And your family should not be in the category of aiding and abetting murder.

Even in your own head, it all seemed a tad bit dramatic, but you could feel the tension in the air.

‘Let him go.’ You said in a raspy tone. Everyone turned to you. You could imagine how you looked, terrified, with your hair out of place, make-up stained, but you didn’t back down. ‘Yuna,’ you gulped, ‘can’t know about this.’ You took in a shaky breath. ‘And in order for her not to know… you have to let him go.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ Hoseok snarled at you. ‘This bastard belongs in jail, or worse.’

You saved the pain from Hobi’s lashing for later as you met Namjoon’s eyes. They were dark, shimmering with fury and the knowledge of what that day had cost you and how much harder it would be after this… but you didn’t back down this time. ‘You got to me in time.’ You implored him with everything in you, showed every vulnerable aspect of you for him to understand that you would have fought this, you would have slayed this demon, if only Yuna’s heart wasn’t on the line. ‘Please.’ It was a plea, to let it be and let it go.

The people around you… you would deal. The questions, the pitiful looks and the shamelessness of it all, but you would handle it from your end – you would rather your life turn upside down, as long as Yuna’s stayed intact. As long as the band could go back to the way they used to be.

‘Who’s to say he won’t tell her himself? Play the victim?’ Ria countered your argument, a disappointment laced in her tone that made your heart even more heavy. ‘Maybe it’s time she knew, y/n.’

‘This is ridiculous, y/n!’ Hoseok shouted at you. ‘Look at the amount of people around you. Look at the witnesses. You can’t live with the fear that she would choose him over you!’

‘Shut up, Hobi!’ You knew he was right, but you hated hearing the truth, you were not strong enough for it at this moment. But as usual, after years of knowing you, vulgarity was not a fresh concept between you.

He wasn’t offended, however, his next words indicated he was clearly incensed. ‘Yuna is not your father!’

‘Hobi,’ Yoongi cautioned as he regarded you.

Hoseok made a frustrated sound and turned away.

‘Hobi’s right…’ Everyone whirled around to find Yuna at the entrance, her arms folded across her chest. ‘I am not your father.’

Your legs buckled, and a pained noise burst through your chest. You would have fallen flat if Jin didn’t hold you against him.

Something… snapped… inside you. It took years, years of silence, years of biting your tongue, years of triggers that you used iron will to keep at bay, to keep hidden from her. Pushing her away, forcing distance, having one of the biggest fights of your life… and it all just came tumbling down in front of you, like a gust of wind on your tower of cards.

Yuna spared you a glance – a multitude of emotions passing between you in the moment. Anger. Fear. Hurt.

‘Yuna,’ Kwang smiles in momentary relief, ‘You wouldn’t believe what they’re accusing me of.’

She tilted her head to the side. ‘What’s that?’

‘They think I tried to hurt, y/n. That I tried to abuse her. Can you believe that– Let go of me Namjoon!’ If you didn’t know any better, you figure your husband must have been pressing on Kwang’s neck with every word he dared to utter.

Yuna says nothing when Namjoon let’s Kwang fall.

Kwang wipes the blood as he stands up and approaches her, limping, making a show of being pitiful. ‘This is clearly y/n. She’s still angry about the Legacy, won't even talk to me,’ he scoffs. Yuna doesn’t even react to him and it only makes Kwang squirm out an explanation.

‘And when I approached her this is how she reacted. Sicced her family on me. It’s quite dramatic if you ask me…’ He shakes his head, glances at you, then looks back at his niece as you wait with baited breath. Only the sound of Kenta’s footsteps could be heard.

Kwang sighed and smiled. ‘You’re not buying any of this are you?’

You stared at him bewildered. Such a bold admission was in tune with his character, but it still caught you off guard.

‘She deserves a bit more credit than that.’

Kenta’s voice made you shudder slightly. He did nothing to mask the underlying threat in it. And if you thought the band was capable of violence in this situation, Kenta, on the other hand, was a different story. His profession thrived on violence, someone who had actually had blood stain his hands, regardless of the reason – he had a penchant for it, not just the potential. He wouldn’t just have to order Xan or Yeon to do the dirty work… he would handle it himself.

Yuna’s nostrils flared and her lip trembled. ‘How could you?’ Her voice was deceptively soft.

‘He’s always been this way, Yu. Even before he fixated on y/n.’

What?

You stared at Kenta, the bomb he’d just dropped leaving debris around you. Kwang had done this before?

Yuna looked up at her husband. ‘You knew.’ It wasn’t a question. She then dropped her head and muttered, ‘Of course you did.’ A reminder that her husband was no ordinary man.

Kwang’s eyebrows drew. He was visibly thrown off at Yuna’s reaction, but he also didn’t back down. ‘He’s lying! He’s lying to save her! Come on, sweetheart. How much time have y/n and I spent together? So many hours, so many memories… You’ve been witness to our interactions.' His voice dropped an octave, coaxing, manipulating. ‘Am I really that insane? She’s always had a thing for me. You can’t deny it.’ He turned to look at you. ‘And she’s always been mine.’

A vile feeling overcame you and had you shuddering in Jin’s hold.

Namjoon’s response was immediate – and violent. He growled as he rushed at Kwang and punched him again, blood sputtering from his mouth and onto your father’s shirt as he fell to the floor. Sung didn’t even flinch. Namjoon grabbed Kwang’s collar, lifting half his body up as he did so, a show of strength that made him seem even less of the calm, collected Namjoon you were accustomed to. ‘Say it again,’ his quiet tone raises the hairs on your nape. ‘Call my wife yours again, I dare you.’

Kwang glared at your husband, but didn’t repeat his words. He didn’t call you his again. Instead he refocused on your father as Kenta pulled Namjoon off him.

‘What’s the matter, Sung? Can’t handle the fact that I was a better father figure?’

‘Father figure?’ Sung scoffed. ‘I hurt her. But not the way you have. I never witnessed a side of y/n that trusted me to keep her safe, she withheld her love. For good reason, of course. But you?’ Sung clicked his tongue. ‘You had a gift in the palm of your hand, and you savaged it – beyond repair.’

‘I did nothing I was not entitled to.’ Kwang decreed, his chin raised a fraction as he made to stand up, swaying on his feet but feeling and showing no remorse, none at all.

Yuna narrowed her gaze. ‘Who are you?’ She asked so quietly, it resonated with an old wounded part of your heart. Because for how long, had you been asking yourself that question?

‘What do you want from me, Yuna? I did my fair share. In fact, I did my best for you and Helen. That doesn’t change. My love for you and your sister will never chan –,’

Yuna held her hand up. ‘It changes everything.’ She went to take a step forward, the betrayal radiating off her in waves, but Kenta moved to stand between them, effectively keeping her in place. ‘You used me.’ The sentence was torn out of her. Oh my Yuna. ‘Used me to get to her.’ She pointed to you.

‘And you played your part so well, like it was some sort of sick game.’ Her face twisted in disdain. ‘So many sleepovers. Family dinners. Work meetings.’ She croaked, as her mind processed every single bit of information to slot next to the truth of her Uncle. ‘Y/n was never safe.’ She accused. ‘Ohmygod, you could have done anything at anytime.’

‘Exactly. And I didn’t. Y/n needed to realize her feelings first.’ He caught the last sentence and latched onto it as if it was of any use to save him. ‘Why are you not factoring y/n into this? Is it really so hard to accept that she came onto me? That she wants me. The signs were there!’

Your face twisted in revulsion because what fucking signs?

Deadly silence coated the air, as if every individual present rejected Kwang’s question all at once.

‘You’re an asshole.’ Ria scoffed and broke the tension. ‘A typical, male, asshole.’

Understatement of the century.

Everyone turned to look at her, but she didn’t flinch under the scrutiny. ‘I was there. The day y/n ran out of the conference room. The minute she walked out of her father’s office, tears streaming down her face…I was there. There was no way, she was in the wrong that day, and I have no doubt you did your best to finish the job today.’ Ria folded her arms, daggers as she stared Kwang down. ‘Either way, y/n would never come onto you. She would never want you.’

‘Loyalty is a respectable trait, Ria. Lying isn’t.’

‘Go fuck yourself,’ she murmured without emotion, dismissing Kwang like he was little less than a fly in the vicinity.

‘He can’t. He’s too busy trying to fuck with everyone else.’ Hoseok’s fury had become leashed… somewhat.

‘What do you mean ‘that day’, Ria?' Yuna asked, confused. 'Which day? What are you talking about?’ Oh no.

You mentally willed for Kenta to meet your eye, somehow protect Yuna from this at least, but when he did, you realized it would be futile. You would no longer be able to protect her. ‘The reason y/n pushed you away, the reason she broke off all contact with Kwang and her father.’

‘He attempted this before.' Kenta confirmed. 'On the Pandora project. She defended herself and got out in time. But the matter never escalated.’ Kenta leveled a glare in your father’s direction. ‘The partners never found it necessary to do so.’

Yuna shot you an incredulous look. ‘This was why you were so distant?’

You looked down. You couldn’t defend yourself.

‘I’m not even surprised with you, Sung.’ Yuna did nothing to hide the malice in her tone. ‘But you, y/n? Keeping this quiet? For all these years? You’re ready to fight the world for someone you love, but didn’t do it for yourself?’ Yuna was shouting now. ‘You retreated into yourself and you were so quiet and so… ‘ Yuna balled up her hands in fists and shook them, ‘so wound up and suffocated.’

‘After you took over…’ Her eyes darted from side to side as she made more connections. ‘No. It was before that.’ She looked up at you. ‘There were changes before that. You didn’t come over anymore. And you always made excuses not to hang out when he was around. You died, y/n.’ Severe words that made too much sense. ‘You died until you took over the company, but even then you were the fucking living dead.’ Her voice broke. ‘You left me.’ Your throat closed up. ‘You pushed me away,’ she cried, ‘because he’d hurt you and you didn’t want to hurt me.’

You shook your head, your throat closing up and your eyes becoming blurry at the devastation you heard in her voice. Don’t cry, you didn’t want her to cry.

‘All these years, y/n. So much pain, so much that you handled alone…’ Yuna stifled a sob as she covered her mouth, ‘And I didn’t know a fucking thing!’ She turned away from you and fell into Kenta’s open arms as she broke down. His hand covered the back of her head easily, shielding her, keeping her close, keeping her safe.

You didn’t know how to fix this. On one hand you wouldn’t change your decision. You didn’t regret not telling her. But now that she knew… you’d never thought this far. No one was supposed to know. No one was supposed to find out. It was your pain and your trauma and your nightmares – any of those shadows eclipsing any of your loved ones lives was never the plan.

‘You could have told me.’ She said wetly, her voice muffled by Kenta’s coat.

‘It wasn’t your burden to bear.’ I didn’t want to lose you.

‘The hell it wasn’t!’ She broke out of Kenta’s hold and yelled at you. ‘What do you take me for, y/n!’

Frustration surfaced. You would not explain your actions to anyone. No one. No one knew how you felt, no one could feel your pain. ‘No one believed me, Yuna.’

‘I would have believed you!’

‘My own father didn’t even believe me!’

‘I am not your fucking father!’

Sung winced at her tone.

‘You would have believed her over me.’ Kwang questioned his niece.

‘It would have been a punch to the gut,’ Yuna replied, not looking at him, her tone aiming to rub anyone with a semblance of self-respect, the wrong way. ‘But it wouldn’t have cut deeper than knowing I forced y/n through my wedding with her abuser over her shoulder.'

Kwang mouthed the word ‘abuser’ as if he didn’t know what the term meant, as if he wasn’t one. ‘How can you talk to me this way?’

‘Did you not,‘ Yuna raised her voice with every word, her patience worn thin, ‘try to take advantage of my best friend Uncle?’ She spat the familial term as if it was a slur.

Kwang pursed his lips.

Yuna nodded her head in resignation. ‘Exactly.’ She threaded her fingers through Kenta’s. ‘Do what’s necessary.’ There was no room for misunderstanding. Kenta would deal with Kwang Jae.

You swallowed hard. ‘No.’

‘Ignore her.’ Yuna dismissed you. ‘I’m done with this. It’s over. He needs to go.’

‘I said no!’

She screamed back at you. ‘Why! What are you so afraid of?’

The satisfaction of having everything out in the open devolved fast into anxiety. ‘Can’t you see that you have careers in the public eye, reputations to protect! We can’t have this getting out. I don’t want it to get out.’

‘You aren’t alone, y/n.’ Kenta reminded you. ‘And you aren’t in the wrong.’

‘But I would have to deal with it.’

‘Y/n, honey, please –,’ Hobi tried for reason.

You cut him off. ‘Let him go.’

You would not let anyone have a field day with this bullshit. Not now, not ever. Justice meant nothing. You already knew, even if you envisioned Kwang behind bars, it wouldn’t be satisfying… neither would seeing him dead do any good.

That’s what happened when you accepted things as they were. And you have always been able to afford balance on the outside, for the external, for the people around you and for life to go on… all at the expense of your sanity. Because inside you, it was pure carnage. It was all you knew. But you could handle your pain. It was your pain. Your pain would not be anyone else's burden, or entertainment.

Jin looked down at you, his heavy gaze unfolding your ruse into reality. ‘Why are you being like this?’ He asked softly.

You averted your gaze. It was an easy answer. ‘He’s not worth it.’

Jin’s eyes shined with age-old knowledge and unbridled empathy. ‘He’s not worth it, y/n… or you?’

You bit back a retort at the stark honesty in his words. They stung. And some vindictive part of you felt that they were making a mockery of your pain, pushing you to do what was right, showcasing your trauma like it would be a tale of strength. But Jin was right, you didn’t feel the fight for you would be worth it. You would not make it anyone else's problem. There was no room for y/n to be ruining anyone’s life – unintentionally or not.

‘Y/n, you need to do this for yourself babe.’

You shook your head against Ria’s words. Not this time. You were not the heroine, or the damsel that was saved, or the one everyone would look up to because you were ‘so brave’. You would do what felt right for you, regardless of how it looked to anyone else.

‘Y/n don’t give him an out.’ Namjoon spoke so softly, it stripped your heart open. ‘Do you understand, that letting him go,’ Namjoon pointed to Kwang, ‘that letting him walk, after what he’s done, and attempted to do, not once, but twice, that he would be getting exactly what wants.’ Namjoon glared at you. ‘He had the balls to do it, because he knew you would make the call to let him go.’ A shadow passed over his features, ‘If you do this, you would be taking away my right to protect you.’

Yoongi inclined his head. ‘Are you willing to accept the risk of ever seeing him again? He could easily go to the papers, y/n.'

He wouldn’t fuck up his own life. But you didn’t answer Yoongi. Right now, you had no strength and you didn’t care. You wanted this night over with. You wanted to go home.

‘Don’t do this, y/n,’ Hoseok’s voice held a glacial unevenness. A clear sign of how enraged he was, but how much of a tight leash he had on it.

So angry, but still listening to you, still taking your word into account.

‘If you want to put him behind bars… I’ll support you this time,’ your father looked over his shoulder at you.

‘We owe you much more,’ Ra-Mi ran gentle fingers through your hair.

You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t stand it. And it would be logical to find the so-called justice they sought for you, and years earlier it would have made all the difference. But you were married now and it mattered because of who you were married to. You would not put Yuna or the band through any of it. It was too late.

‘Y/n --,’ Yoongi whispered, when he came to stand next to you.

You turned into Jin's chest and hid between his arms. Having no strength to deal with Yoongi’s disappointment. ‘Please, just, let him go. Let him leave.’

‘Hyung, do something.’ Jungkook barked.

No one reprimanded the youngest. No one believed he said anything wrong in the first place. Neither did you. The silence was thick and heavy, until Namjoon spoke.

‘My wife has been through enough tonight.’ His tone was clipped. ‘We should do as she says.’

His words were met with immediate protest.

‘Hyung, you can’t!’ Jimin shouted from beside Jungkook.

‘Namjoon-ah!’ Jin and Yoongi scolded, the eldest clutching you tighter, as if letting Kwang go would somehow endanger you further.

As you turned in Jin’s arms, you focused on your husband, you saw his lip curl back in a silent snarl at his brothers’ contradictions. You couldn’t imagine what Namjoon was going through. A man had his hands on you, to hurt you, to claim, to control… Now his brother’s were disappointed in him. Again.

You met his gaze again, his chest rising and falling in uneven breaths, a final attempt to change your mind.

You whimpered softly and his jaw set… it was answer enough for him, before he shoved Kwang back into the wall.

‘I don’t give a fuck,’ you shut your eyes against Namjoon’s voice, ‘where you go or what you do, but know this, if you ever come near Y/n again, I will make sure you regret it.’ A sound of impact. ‘Do you understand?’

You heard Kwang’s feet flatten against the floor when Namjoon finally let him down.

‘I owe you a lifetime of resentment.’ You heard your father say.

You turned your head in Jin’s arms, wanting to take in the scene before you, wanting to watch him leave.

The disappointment bled from Namjoon, but you didn’t budge, trauma response or not, Kwang needed to fuckoff – you wanted nothing to do with him.

‘We’ll walk you,’ Kwang grimaced at Jimin, most likely observing their age gap and feeling highly disrespected. ‘Make sure you actually leave this time.’

Kwang looked over at you.

‘Move!’ Jimin berated him. The hyung of the maknae line was in no mood to play.

‘That’s a tad disrespectful, don’t you think so, Jimin?’ You rolled your eyes inwardly. You knew him so well. ‘What would your parents think?’

Your eye twitched. The bastard had no right to talk about Jimin’s parents. No one defended the male that cared the most and loved without abandon, but you soon realized that there wasn’t a need.

Jimin walked up to Kwang, despite the height difference, Jimin still managed to look like the more intimidating one. ‘You are more than welcome, to explain your actions, how I am treating you and await their verdict on the matter, but I assure you,’ Jimin’s lips lifted, a chilling glare that had you fisting on Jin’s jacket, ‘They wouldn’t waste even their sympathy on scum like you.’ Jimin’s eyes flashed fire. ‘Now start walking!’ the hyung of the maknae line turned away and muttered, ‘Get you as far away from my family as possible.’

They were almost to the entrance when Yuna spoke. ‘Uncle.’ Four pairs of dress shoes stopped in their tracks.

‘That you are walking out of here on your own, is a statement of how big y/n’s heart is.’ Her voice didn’t waver, not even a little. ‘It’s a clear sign that there could have only been one person to blame for all of this.’

You felt the words caress against the pieces of your broken heart, so delicate. At the same time you felt Yuna’s pain, the brutal decision you knew she’d just made, rebounding off her life in so many ways, she was yet to see the consequences.

‘Understand that if you do anything more, y/n will not be dealing with you, the people surrounding her will. And if it wasn’t clear enough already,’ she spoke to the ground. A sign that it was too painful, and that she had no choice. ‘We are no longer family.’ She swallowed hard. ‘We have nothing more to do with each other.’

You wanted to gauge Kwang’s reaction but you were stuck on Yuna. No other human being would ever give up as much as she had for you, without a second thought, without a shred of regret.

Taehyung sighed. ‘I need more alcohol.’

‘The champagne has a cork in it.’ Jungkook offered, as they flanked Jimin.

‘Oh good,’ Jungkook earned a clap on the back from the hyung that was every bit his best friend and more, ‘it shoots and makes an impact if we aim it in the right direc --,’

Their words died as they left the hall. The joke was dry, unnecessary, but they were reeling from a tragic truth and they would cope the only way they knew how.

You blew out a puff of air against Jin’s suit jacket and he rubbed your back comfortingly.

Something needed to be said, something to fill the silence. The bartenders still hadn’t left, neither did the hall manager and her two staff… you wanted to groan out loud, this was just another media scandal waiting to happen anyway.

Your eyes darted over their forms, as the momentary realization sent you into a panic. Your renewed shaking must have alarmed Jin, because all of a sudden you were out of his arms and he got in your face. ‘Breathe. Breathe for me, it’s okay sweetheart.’

‘Th-they,’ you motioned your head towards the bar, your voice wobbly as you tried to explain.

Yoongi’s eyebrows were scrunched in confusion, but he soon caught on when he looked at the staff. He stepped into your personal space and bent his head to make eye contact with you. ‘We’ll handle it.’

‘Wh-,’ Jin started, but Yoongi explained the situation in a hushed whisper before making his way over to the bar.

Ria was already way ahead of them as she made her way to the hall manager.

Yeon and Xan regarded you silently. You didn’t have it in you to look them in the eye. Not yet.

‘Y/n,’ Sung came up to you.

You shook your head vehemently. ‘No.’ As grateful as you were, you couldn’t deal with him right now. ‘No, please, I can’t.’ You couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t process it. ‘Whatever it is.’

It was too much. It was all too much.

‘Please listen to me,’ your father begged as he caught your elbow.

You shoved him away, taking Jin with you when you reared back. ‘I was so scared!’ You shouted, your voice rebounding off the walls as you ripped yourself open letting Sung Y/l/n hear the honest truth. ‘I was alone and I was scared!’ You repeated yourself, admitting to weakness when you never had. ‘And I needed you and you were never there! You weren’t there for me!'

Your father shrunk into himself at your outburst. Your mother cried harder next to him and you wanted to comfort her but with what? With what strength, with what stability? You had nothing, you were shattered from the inside out.

‘Just once, just once,’ you held your two fingers together in front of his face, ‘if you gave me a sign, that you believed me…’

‘I moved you from his department.’ Sung attempted to justify himself. ‘I changed your roles. I let you work independently, surpassing everyone’s expectations.’

You narrowed your gaze. ‘Am I supposed to fucking thank you?’ An acrid taste from your brutal words set in the back of your throat.

‘Please, y/n, I didn’t kn – , I –, I was trying to do what was bes –,’

‘Don’t you dare!’ Your forehead creased in an effort to keep frustrated tears at bay. ‘Don’t you dare, say you did anything for me. A punch and suddenly siding with me will not change what you've done!' Your face screwed up and a feeble sound made its way out of your throat. ‘Your own daughter!’ You cried openly.

‘I know! But he had major shares! He would have ripped everything away from us!’

‘He already did.’ Your mother’s words were filled with malice. And in another time you would have been able to appreciate them. But not as you stared at your father, a man who had put his company and his money and his reputation above your life, and after all of it was still making excuses – Sung Y/l/n, who had never and would never be your Dad.

‘All of this is because of you. All of it!’ You inhaled sharply, suddenly realizing that words would never get through his defenses. He would never see how much his decisions had cost him. Pure venom coated your next words. ‘It's too fucking late.’

It was nothing. Words a petulant child could have easily said. But you had nothing else left in you. You were done. Just done. Pulling away from Jin, you ran out of the hall as sobs bubbled out of your throat. You heard shouts behind you, but you were beyond caring. You didn’t care where you were going or how, or of who followed you, but you walked across the parking lot toward the open field opposite the hall. The snow was thick and your boots sunk right in, but you ran and then you walked until your breathing was labored and the cold poked at your skin… and your legs finally gave out from under you.

Your legs, exposed from the high slit, were frozen solid. Your dress was wet, so was your hair, but you couldn’t care less about appearances.

The wedding was the only big thing on your checklist for the day, and that went as well as it could have. Ria and the guys would sort out specifics. Kwang… a sob threatened to rip from your throat as you felt phantom fingers between your legs. Kwang was gone. Yuna… you would talk to her. Maybe, just maybe things would go back to normal.

‘Aah!’ You pulled away when a warm hand touched your shoulder. You looked up to find your husband looming over you. You reared back, away from him, away from his touch.

‘Y/n,’ Namjoon leaned toward you.

You avoided him by scooching further away. ‘Don’t touch me.’

Hurt clouded his features. ‘Baby --,’

‘No,’ you shook your head at him.

‘Y/n.’

You turn around to find Kenta behind you. When did he get to you? Were you so out of sorts?

Kenta bent down and rested in the snow. You winced visibly when he curled a protective arm around your shoulders. If he noticed, he didn’t show it as his other hand grabbed the wet trail of your dress, covered the exposed portion of your legs and rested his palm on your knee.

Taking deep breaths as you reminded yourself that he was checking for any injuries, a usual once over that was second nature, Kenta was safe and his touch was safe, it was a mantra until you eventually covered his hand with yours.

‘I’m fine,’ you reassured him. ‘I’m okay.’

Kenta pressed a kiss to your forehead, his movements tentative. ‘No, sweetheart.’ A term of endearment… ‘You’re not.’

You choked as his words slammed into you. Your eyes shut tight, to push away tears that were furious and unrelenting.

‘I’m sorry, Kenta. I’m so sorry!’ Kenta rocked you lightly as you lost control, your sobs becoming uncontrollable.

Why you? Why? You would never wish such things on anyone else, but why? You were not so strong. You had so much to be grateful for and you knew you were loved and there was so much to look forward to but… sometimes the pain was too much. Freshly wounded, bleeding and broken… when you were just now finding yourself, finding your husband…

You had little less of your youth left, no children, no responsibility that could not be handed over or handled… the burn under your skin and the agony that had no name turned you inside out. Was there really a need to recover from this? If you could just keep your eyes closed… if you could scream until your voice was silent… if you stopped breathing… if you just gave up…

A heat seeped through your boot by the ankle. You opened your eyes to find Namjoon crouching in front of you, trying to anchor you. You pulled your knees in toward your body and crushed your side into Kenta’s chest. ‘You can’t.’ You managed to gasp out.

Namjoon’s eyes narrowed.

‘You can’t touch me. He touched me.’

Without warning Namjoon surged forward, grabbed you by your arms and hauled you into his chest.

‘Joon –,’ You heard Kenta warn tightly. But you were beyond logic.

‘You don’t know,’ you cry out and push against Namjoon’s chest. You wince in pain when you remember your injured palm.

Nevertheless, you struggle until he slammed his mouth against yours. His kiss was hard, hurtful, but all consuming, you could taste the anger on his tongue. ‘Don’t piss me off, y/n,’ he growled against your lips when you pulled away. Breathing hard, he touched his forehead to yours and held you close to him. His palm casing your cheek. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you, baby.’

‘You don’t understand!’ Your chest splintered, your eyes burned with tears that wet your face and your hair and your insides screamed in helplessness – you always had doubts, insecurities about being good enough for Namjoon… now you knew, you never would be.

‘No, you don’t understand!’ He roared. ‘You said you were mine, just a few hours ago! You declared it, y/n. No matter what happens, or what we have to go through, we do it together! So don’t you dare push me away now.’ His voice dropped, and the pain you felt emanating from him threatened even the softest corners of your heart. ‘Don’t you dare. Not because of him. Not for anything.’

The ringing in your skull and the storm in your chest didn’t let up. ‘He touched me! He held his hand over my mouth and he tried to touch me,’ you vehemently confessed in a panic. ‘Tell me you can kiss me, Namjoon, touch me, have sex with me and not see what you walked into, not see him!’

Namjoon’s eyes were wild with emotion, his need to hold you to him, to anchor you, a palpable thing.

‘Because all I see is you! You, y/n. My wife, my love, my everything. The pain, the hurt, I want to take every bit of pain he’s caused and I want to make it better! I want to make it better! I will make it better! You were never his, y/n! You are and will always be mine! Nothing and no one can fucking threaten that.

Now, it’s fucking freezing cold, so we need to head back and we need to head home.’ He softened his hold. ‘Please, let’s go home.’

He didn’t understand. Fuck, he didn’t know, that the worst of it wasn’t the physical assault, it was the mental manipulation and every single shaky foundation in your head just fell out from under you. You didn’t know how to deal with that. ‘Namjoon, please,’ you gave up the fight and sobbed into his jacket.

His hands held you to him. ‘I’ll do anything you want, okay? I promise. But I need to get you home, away from here and away from everyone else. Please, just let me take you home.’

You dropped your forehead against his chest and sunk into his hold. You hated this. You hated the guilt of how at home you felt in the safe heat of his arms. His strength, his joy and his love… Because here you were…less, parts of you severed, and your whole psyche fractured on a level you knew, you knew you would never come back from.

Love. You loved him too much. You loved this man more than you thought you were ever capable of and you had chosen him over everything. Despite it all, you believed that he deserved someone whole, someone who could give him all of them, someone untainted. In your head you whimpered, because you didn’t have it in you to give him up.

The only question was whether he could bear this burden with you.

No. There was no question. Either way, you knew the answer. Like you knew Namjoon.

But would it grow to be a painful silence between you? A sore subject. A flaw you couldn’t help, a shortcoming you couldn’t change. With every jagged beat of your heart would you have to question the possibility, the fear… that he would one day choose to put that burden down.

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Part 30 - Finale [E]

Part 30 - Finale [R]

Part 30 - Finale [V]

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jjkilll · 4 months

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JJK RECS II

thank you for all the support on my first rec!! so let me show you some more!!

white lies - @noteguk

honestly one of my fav pics on this app.

2. brother's best friend - @lavishedinjimin

oh em gee this fic is so amazing and this pairing is just too good.

3. new girl - @jjkeverlast

new girl is the best show ever so I love this fic, jk is very nick coded.

4. risqué - @mercurygguk

this fic is insane and reading it for the first time made me want to live it actually.

5. addicted - @sparklingchim

im addicted to jungkook too. (real)

6. seven days - @jvngkoos

I love this fic, its pure filth BUT I love it and it has a pt2 linked within :)

7. and my man, thank you to my man - @darklingjeon

sugar daddy jungkook always makes me weak in the knees, ive read a fic like this for jin (sugar - @wwilloww), its too cool too.

+ pt iii

#bts #bts fanfic #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bangtan #bts army #bts ot7 #ot7 #namjoon #taehyung #hobi #jungkook #jimin #kim seokjin #yoongi

2K notes · View notes

badbtssmut · 5 months

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You go to an illegal underground sex party downtown and meet seven guys who fuck you too good.

Contains: Riding, missionary, crying tears of pleasure, pussy DP, overstimulation, mid air fucking, wall fucking, blowjobs, mention of other people having sex, rough sex, slow sex, y/n loves sex, anal with mention of it hurting before it feels good, one sentence of it ‘hurting good’, squirting, disassociating cause it feels so good, squirting, multiple members cumming in y/n, vibrator being used on y/n

Admin note: this is so fucking long, enjoy ;)

—

Jin

“Am I your first tonight?” The man, whose name tag said ‘Jin’ asked.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “First time being in this kinda place too.” You internally scolded yourself— why did you have to tell him that?

“You are beautiful.” He commented.

You laughed softly.

He smiled.

The two of you were alone in a small room. There were some sex toys and bondage equipment on the wall, and a massage table in the middle of the room. It was dimly lit and had a soft and sensual feeling to it. You were sitting on the older man’s lap on the red couch, his hands already exploring your body. You could feel his hardness beneath you.

“I’d love to see you ride me. Do you think you can do that for me, sweetheart?” Jin asked as he started to kiss your neck.

“Yes.” You breathed out.

Moments later, the both of you were undressed. “Mm, so big!” You shuddered as you pushed down on his length, his fingers squeezed into your sides as he guided you down.

Once he was all the way in, you placed your hands on his chest for balance as you started to ride him. He let out a groan, his hands roaming up and down your body, before finally cupping your breasts. He sat up and wrapped an arm around you, kissing your chest and sucking on your nipples. You held onto his head and kept riding him.

The older man started to thrust into you, and you cried out. His pace quickened, and his other hand found its way to your clit. He rubbed your sensitive bud, and you started to lose yourself to the pleasure.

You whimpered and moaned, the sound of his hips smacking against yours echoing through the room. In the distance, blaring music was heard, and it sounded like the couple next to this room were having a go at it as well.

“I’m so lucky to be the first to pound into this pretty pussy… you feel so good around me, baby.” He grunted, slowing down his pace to savor the moment.

You couldn't form any coherent thoughts, your body was buzzing, and your skin was tingling. Your nails dug into his back, and you were sure you left marks on him.

“Come here…” He nudged you off his lap. “Go lay down for me, mm, just like that.”

You laid on your back, legs spread apart. He moved himself between them, he held onto his shaft as he entered you again, slowly and teasingly. He watched as you writhed underneath him, his hand snaking down to your clit once more.

You arched your back, the sensation was almost too much to bear. His cock filling you up and his fingers circling your sensitive nub. The man had a devilish grin on his face, enjoying the view of your body wriggling under him. He started to thrust faster, his hips pounding against yours, his length going deeper and deeper.

Jin leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, his tongue slid into your mouth, and you gladly sucked on it. His other hand was on the side of your face, keeping you in place.

It was almost suffocating, the weight of his body on yours, his tongue dominating your mouth, his shaft buried deep within you, and his fingers stimulating you.

Your moans were muffled as the man above you kissed you, his hips not slowing down.

Jin let out a muffled grunt as he spilled into you, and you felt excitement rush through your body at the idea of him filling you up.

“Your cock feels so good! Mmm, please don’t stop. You feel so good inside me, fuck!” You winced, biting down on your bottom lip as you neared your release.

The man above you gave you one more hard thrust and rubbed your clit roughly, pushing you over the edge. You came, your body quivering as he continued to move inside of you, helping you ride out your high.

He slowed his pace, his length slipping out of you. He groaned as he rubbed himself, before he came all over your belly.

Yoongi and Hoseok

“Ah! Ah!” You winced, squeezing your eyes shut. Yoongi’s pace was slow, and the way he slowly filled your pussy drove you insane. Being filled up inch by inch was an amazing feeling. Your pussy stretched, but it felt so good. When you felt something poke against your cheek, you opened your eyes and saw a hard cock in your face.

You parted your lips and took in Hoseok’s cock. You moaned, sending vibrations through his cock. He groaned and tangled his hand in your hair, holding your head as he pumped in and out of your mouth. You sucked on him, hollowing your cheeks and using your tongue to lick and tease him.

Yoongi continued his slow thrusts. You clenched around him, wanting him to go faster. Instead, he just chuckled, enjoying your whine when he pulled almost all the way out and went back in. He teased you, slowly filling you back up. Your whine was cut off by Hoseok pulling out of your mouth. He rubbed the tip along your lips and you kissed it, letting your tongue slide against the head, before he pushed it into your mouth again. Hoseok’s hand roamed to your breasts and he started kneading it and pinching the nipple. You gasped and arched your back, pushing your breast further into his hand.

Yoongi continued his pace for a little longer. You could feel yourself getting closer, your walls tightened and your moans grew louder. His pace was torturous, it wasn’t enough. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, his hips snapped into yours, burying himself completely inside of you. Your legs trembled and you could feel your orgasm coming.

Yoongi leaned down and nipped at your ear, before whispering, "I can feel how close you are. So fucking tight. So fucking perfect. You're being such a good girl."

“Gonna cum…” You cried out, letting go and releasing. Your legs shook as pleasure coursed through your body. It was a long orgasm, the feeling lasting.

Yoongi grunted, his hands holding you tightly. He fucked into you faster and faster until his hips stilled, a warmth spread throughout you.

You both were breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath. You felt Yoongi pull out of you, and Hoseok took his place.

You giggled when Hoseok pulled you closer and picked you up, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before you leaned in to kiss him. You gasped into the kiss as you felt him slide into you.

Hoseok moaned. You were already wet from cumming, so he was able to slide in easily. His pace was quick, desperate. His hips were slamming into yours, the sound of skin slapping filling the room. A few couples were near you, fucking each other. You didn't know them, but that just added to the experience. You loved how public sex was accepted in the club.

Yoongi's cum dripped out of you, down your legs. Your wet pussy and Hoseok’s saliva covered cock made such hot sounds. The squelching noise was loud, and you blushed, loving how lewd it was.

“Mm, fucking another man while filled with cum already, you are so dirty," Hoseok smirked, heading to the wall and pressing your back against it as he started to wall fuck you. Your back rubbed against the cool wall, and you closed your eyes, taking in all the sensations. Hoseok was a rough lover, and his thrusts were so hard and fast that your head kept banging into the wall.

“Fuck, fuck…” You whimpered, feeling how sensitive your pussy was. You had just came, but it was so good. Hoseok was making you feel amazing.

“Fuck, you take this cock like a champ.” Hoseok was pounding into you, the sound of your bodies hitting against the wall was loud. It turned you on. You knew others would hear and look over. You felt Hoseok reach one hand between your bodies, and you looked down, watching him rub your clit.

You clenched around him and felt another orgasm build up inside of you. You threw your head back and squeezed your eyes shut. Hoseok's thrusts were rough, the way his fingers moved on your clit was rough, it all felt too good. You felt so sensitive.

You cried out, your second orgasm washing over you. Your legs trembled, and if Hoseok wasn’t holding you up, you would have collapsed.

“Oh, oh!” You whimpered when you felt Hoseok continuing to fuck into you. The pleasure was becoming too much. He was going too hard. You needed a moment to recover, but it felt so good. It hurt, it was too much, but it felt so good.

“Going. To. Fill. You.” Every word that rolled off his tongue was followed by a hard thrust into you.

"Ple-ease, oh, oh!" Your eyes widened and your toes curled as he released inside of you. His cum mixing with Yoongi's. It felt warm and full. You panted, catching your breath, and let your body go limp in Hoseok's arms. He held onto you, his cock still buried inside of you, before pulling out.

Namjoon

“Yes…” Namjoon grunted, head tilted back, his tongue resting over his bottom lip as he slid his cock in and out of your ass. His fingers were in your mouth, keeping you from speaking, you sucked and licked them, moaning around them, your own fingers clutching at the bedspread, trying to stay grounded against his hard thrusts.

The muscles in your body tensed and flexed, the pain from being stretched so wide mixing with pleasure that came when he pushed all the way in, your entire body tingling as you rocked with his hips.

Your toes were curling, you tried to moan around the fingers in your mouth, he kept the pace of his thrusts steady, a hand on your hip holding you still.

This all felt so dirty, you never would’ve thought that you’d let a man fuck you like this, but it felt so good, so intense.

Your pussy wasn’t lonely, Namjoon had pushed a vibrator in it. The buzzing sent waves through you, made the experience even better.

His fingers slipped out of your mouth, you gasped for air, feeling him shift his weight slightly. He gripped both of your wrists with one hand, keeping them locked behind your back, his other hand wrapping around your neck, squeezing as he pushed in deep.

You whimpered, your hips moving on their own, pushing back into his cock. You were losing control of your body, it felt so good, your pussy was clenching and quivering.

“You love having some stranger be the first, don’t you? Taking that cock so good, I’d think this wasn’t your first time, so fucking good. Get on all fours.” He was breathing hard, voice raspy, his words sending chills down your spine.

You scrambled to your knees, letting him move you, pushing your upper body down into the mattress. His hands gripped your hips, he pulled almost all the way out and slammed his cock back in.

You screamed, it felt so good, a deep throb of pleasure, you clutched the bedspread, your back arching, a whimper leaving your lips.

He fucked you hard, grunting with each thrust, you felt every inch of him inside you, every time he hit bottom it made you shiver, your mouth hanging open as you moaned and panted.

“Harder, harder!” You begged.

You were going to cum, you were right on the edge, you needed him to make you go over.

His fingers were in your hair, he gripped it and yanked, making your body bend, he thrust deep, your body tensing up, you bit your lip.

His fingers were around your neck again, his body leaning over yours, his chest on your back, he fucked you fast, hard, making the bed bounce.

You felt his breath on your cheek, a hand cupping your breast, a thumb flicking over your nipple.

It was too much, you were moaning, body convulsing as you came. He was still fucking you, hard, you couldn’t breathe, it was so intense, too much, but so good.

He was panting and groaning, his fingers squeezed your neck, you felt his dick swell inside you and then he came.

A loud, long groan, his cock twitched and filled you up, you shivered, feeling it leak out and run down your thighs.

Your body was weak, you felt him release your hair, you slumped down onto the bed, chest heaving, a thin layer of sweat coating your body.

A stranger took your anal virginity and you loved it.

Jimin

“Mm, just like that.” Jimin cooed as he placed a hand on your head, his eyes filled with lust as he watched you take his cock deeper and deeper.

He was sitting at the edge of his bed, and you were on your knees in front of him, pleasuring him with your mouth, your hands resting on his thighs for support.

You looked up at him with his dick in your mouth, and his eyes met yours. He smirked, running his fingers through your hair and tugging on it gently. You hummed in response, and you could feel the vibration of your throat against the tip of his cock, causing him to buck his hips, making you take his entire length. You gagged a bit, and he smiled, his hand still holding your head.

You soon moved to the bed, and he wanted to watch you ride him, so he laid on his back and watched you climb on top of him, his cock throbbing with need.

He watched as you hovered over him, taking his cock and rubbing it against your clit. You moaned as you rubbed him against your most sensitive area, and he could feel you getting wetter and wetter by the second.

Finally, you couldn't take it anymore. You positioned yourself, and slowly, you sank down onto his cock, moaning loudly.

You stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being filled. “Your cock is so hard, filling me so nicely, feels so good…” You whispered as you placed your hands on his chest, and then you started moving.

Jimin watched as you moved on top of him, the sight of your tits bouncing turning him on even more, and the noises coming out of your mouth were music to his ears. His hands gripped onto your hips, pushing you down harder as you moved.

He was so deep inside of you, and the friction from his dick rubbing against your walls was making you dizzy. It didn't help that the room was starting to fill with the smell of sex, which only made you more horny.

Soon, the two of you were fucking hard, and the sound of your skin slapping together mixed with your moans and whimpers.

“Mmm…” You whimpered, circling your hips before you started to bounce again.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Jimin breathed out as he reached up to cup your breasts, his thumbs rubbing against your hard nipples.

Your eyes fluttered closed as his touch sent sparks throughout your body, and you started bouncing faster. You weren’t sure how long you were riding him for when he stopped you. He pushed you down onto the bed, pinning your hands on the mattress before he wrapped his fingers around yours.

His body was pressed against yours, his cock buried deep inside of you, and he began to pound into you, hitting that spot inside of you that made your toes curl. You couldn't stop moaning and writhing beneath him, and he loved watching you become undone.

The pleasure was so intense that you thought you might pass out, but then he started rubbing your clit and you knew that you wouldn’t last long.

He leaned down and started kissing your neck, his tongue gliding along your skin. You tilted your head back, exposing more of your neck, and he took the opportunity to start sucking and biting it.

“You are hitting it just right…” You moaned, and he groaned against your skin, thrusting harder.

After a few more thrusts, he could feel his climax approaching, so he released your hands and sat up, pounding into you hard, his hands holding onto your ankles to spread your legs apart further.

You watched as his chest heaved, and his abs glistened with sweat. The look in his eyes was primal, and you knew that he was about to cum.

“Fuck, the way your pussy clenches around my cock, fuck, can’t get enough of you, babe, love fucking you like this, mmm, gonna make me cum.” Jimin’s hands now moved to your sides, holding you into place as he picked up the pace.

You reached up and grabbed onto his arms, digging your nails into his skin. The sound of his voice, the feeling of him deep inside of you, and his words, all brought you closer and closer to the edge.

Suddenly, your whole body started to tremble, and you felt a surge of heat run through your veins. You came hard, and you couldn't help but moan loudly.

Your walls clamped down around his cock, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He came deep inside of you, groaning and growling.

When the two of you came down from your high, he collapsed next to you. He pulled you close and wrapped his arms around you.

Taehyung and Jungkook

Your hunger for cock was insatiable. Five cocks had already pounded your pussy, and you thought you were satisfied, but when one good looking man named Taehyung hit on you, followed by another good looking man named Jungkook, you felt your body ask for more.

Your head was tilted back, resting on Taehyung’s shoulder as you bounced your body up and down his cock, riding him. He gripped your hips, moaning your name, his face in your neck as his thick member slid in and out of your wet pussy.

The two males weren’t done with you just yet, Jungkook and Taehyung had taken you into multiple positions, you had sucked both of their cocks, and yet here you still were. Their staminas were amazing, and you couldn’t ask for a better way to end the night.

“Do you think she can take two cocks, Kookie?” You heard Taehyung ask his friend, who was sitting back and lazily stroking his dick while he watched the two of you fuck.

You gasped and pulled your head up, looking at the both of them in shock. Two? They wanted to fuck you at the same time?!

"Can you?” Jungkook asked you, and you felt both their eyes on you.

You had never had two cocks in you before, but you were so horny, you needed them, and you had a feeling that this would be the last thing you wanted to do tonight.

“I want to try, I want both of you in me, please." You begged, and the two males chuckled, they found you adorable and hot at the same time.

"You heard her, let's go Kookie." Taehyung said, spreading your pussy with his fingers. “Is this your first time?” He asked.

“Yes…” You nodded.

He chuckled.

"Good. You deserve two big cocks for the first time." He teased, and kissed your neck.

Jungkook positioned himself in front of you, and rested his one hand on your thigh while his other held his length into place as he pushed himself into you, making you gasp.

Your hand went over your mouth, and you felt him stop, waiting for your cue. You looked over at him, nodding for him to keep going.

“O-oh…” You whimpered as your pussy was filling with two cocks instead of one. It was an odd feeling, and you closed your eyes, focusing on the pleasure you were feeling.

Jungkook leaned in and captured your lips in his, kissing you deeply as he pushed into your dripping cunt, helping your body get used to the size of his cock.

“So full, so stuffed, ah!” You whimpered, desperately trying to grasp onto anything. Fuck, you felt like your pussy was stretched to the max. Their cocks felt so amazing, you squeezed your eyes shut and gritted your teeth as you felt Jungkook push further into your pussy.

Your walls were being spread as far as they could go, and it was so damn amazing. You didn’t even realize that something like this was possible, oh fuck, they were stuffing you so nicely.

You had only gotten a taste of what it was like to have two men fill you up at the same time, and now you were addicted.

Jungkook paused when he managed to fill you with his every inch, and the two men started to kiss you against the face, switching up from your face to your lips as they allowed your pussy to get used to the large intrusion.

After a few moments, you opened your eyes and nodded, letting them know that it was okay to move.

“O-oh!” You shuddered as Taehyung started, moving in and out of you in a slow pace.

His hands were wrapped around your waist, and your body was pushed back against his, allowing him to thrust up into you while you were sat on his lap. Jungkook followed a few seconds later, when Taehyung slid out, Jungkook slid in, and one and off they followed this same rhythm.

You couldn’t even close your mouth, drool dripping down the side of your lip as they fucked you. You could feel them, oh fuck, you could feel them hitting the deepest parts of your body, and it was making your body tingle. The drool fell on your chest, a puddle collecting.

“You like that? Dirty girl?” Jungkook purred.

You couldn’t even talk, you could only answer with a moan.

"You like having two cocks in your little slutty cunt, huh?" Taehyung added, licking his lips.

Oh fuck, yes, you loved it, you couldn't explain how much you were enjoying this.

You closed your eyes and focused on the feeling, feeling their large dicks move in and out of you, making you feel full, so very full.

“Doing so well for your first time, your body was made to take two big cocks at the same time, isn’t that right baby girl? So fucking sexy and slutty for us, yeah?"

“Love two cocks in my pussy, mmm, love it so much." You whimpered, throwing your head back as they started to go faster.

They switched it up this time, now they both pounded in and out of you at the same time, fucking you hard and deep. You were shaking, gripping the sheets as they pounded away at you, fucking you hard enough to make you scream.

The bed rocked under you, the mattress creaking as you were fucked hard by the two guys.

They didn't slow down, not one bit, and your screams were so loud that people from the next room could hear, and you didn't give a single shit. You had two cocks in you and it was the best experience ever.

You were a mess, you were dripping, soaking the bed with your juices, and your body was twitching with pleasure, oh fuck.

Taehyung took a break while Jungkook pounded into you, and he leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours, kissing you passionately.

When it was time for Jungkook to take a break, Taehyung thrusted into you, and you moaned against his mouth, his tongue slipping into yours.

Tongue against tongue, two cocks against one pussy, lips against lips, moans against moans. It was all too much, but at the same time, not enough.

“What is your favorite, babygirl? Tell us how you like us to fuck you.” Taehyung whispered against your ears.

You whimpered exactly how you wanted their two cocks to fuck you, and they happily listened to your wish.

“Ah! Ah!” Tears built up in your eyes before they rolled down your cheeks, you couldn’t handle it anymore. This felt so fucking good, having your pussy abused and used like this, sandwiched between those two men as they beat your pussy up, oh the way those long thick cocks filled your pussy to the brim, the way their cocks were stretching your pussy walls out, and the way they were abusing your g spot, it was all too much.

Your moans and whimpers turned into cries and screams. You couldn't take it anymore. You had been fucked by five other men before these two, and you had already cum so many times, and the overstimulation was really hitting you now.

"Fuck her harder, Kookie, she can take it."

They were going harder than before, if that was even possible, and you were seeing stars. You had never felt this amount of pleasure before.

Your toes curled, and your eyes rolled back, your mouth wide open as your body went limp against Taehyung, the room spinning as their cocks continued pounding into you without mercy.

The men knew that you were about to orgasm, and they kept going, knowing that you could take more.

Taehyung gripped onto your breasts, kneading into them, and he and Jungkook were panting heavily. You could hear their breathless moans, and they were whispering sweet things to you.

You were a drooling, twitching, sobbing mess, and the men were loving it. They loved seeing their slutty girl getting her pussy stretched by their cocks, they loved the way your pussy clenched around them, the way it dripped all over them.

Their dirty words, their hands all over your body, their cocks in your pussy, their mouths kissing all over you… You never wanted this to end.

“Cum… cum..” You didn’t know how to talk anymore, feeling light headed and delirious as your body was overwhelmed with pleasure. You didn’t even know where you were anymore or what your name was, the world was spinning and blurry, and all you could focus on was the feeling of their cocks.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes…” It felt so close, your whole body started to shake heavily, your eyes unable to focus on anything as your toes curled, and the intense pleasure washed over you. It took over your whole body and the heat washed through every inch as you orgasmed; it was the best one you had in your whole life, it felt like heaven.

The pleasure was too intense, and you were screaming as you were hit with wave after wave of pure bliss. You came all over their cocks, squirting so much, and you could hear them moan, the sounds of their voices sending you even higher.

Their thrusts grew sloppy and slow, both enjoying how you orgasmed around their cocks, yet eager to fill you up with their cum.

"That's it baby, milk our cocks with that tight pussy, yeah, fuck." Jungkook hissed.

Your pussy was still throbbing and squeezing around them, and the two men groaned.

Taehyung's arms tightened around your waist and he growled, pushing his cock in as deep as he could and released his seed, groaning in pleasure.

Jungkook picked up the pace and he did the same, digging his fingers into your thighs as he filled you with his seed.

They kept thrusting as they came, and the feeling of their hot, sticky, cum inside of you, and their cocks twitching inside of your sensitive pussy, made you squirt again, your body trembling.

You were left gasping and panting, trying to catch your breath. Your vision was still hazy and it took you a few moments before the room stopped spinning.

You were laid down on the bed, you weren’t even sure by who, as you laid there trying to catch your breath. You could feel the bed was soaked underneath you.

Fuck, this was the best day of your life.

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