Love Me and Leave Me
Love Me and Leave Me
Ship: Princess!Reader | Prince!Jin | Maid
Description: Royalty!AU, Arranged Marriage!AU. You had no objections when you heard of your engagement to a faraway prince. In fact, you were elated! Especially when you caught sight of his handsome face and charming personality. You could see yourself falling for him easily. The only problem? He’s in love with someone else.
Warnings: Impregnation Kink, Virgin Kink, Voyeurism, Dirty Talk, Intercourse, Oral, Multiple Orgasms, Cum Play, Handjob, Overstimulation, Infidelity? Angst, Slight Fluff, Slight Crack
Word Count: 9,964
When you were told you were engaged to the eldest prince of a nearby kingdom, you had no objections.
Not as in you simply were quietly submitting because it was your duty- you were genuinely looking forward to it.
The quicker you were married the quicker you could get to the throne. Sure, some other princesses were distraught by the news, scared they'd be married to some old king, but you were lucky enough to get a prince. You liked to look on the bright side of things. Besides, arranged marriages have instances where they work- maybe if you were lucky you'd fall in love with the mystery man. A girl can dream, right? It would be just like the fairytales.
You heard he was the most handsome of them all. Prince Seokjin, eldest of the seven brothers. This marriage would align your two kingdoms and would be a joyous celebration.
So sure enough, upon your first meeting together you were absolutely ecstatic.
He was more beautiful than his portrait- a true show stopper. Plump lips and broad shoulders? Yes, please. He was as polite as he was handsome, kind as he insisted on pulling out your chair, instead of just having the staff do it. He made good conversation, with corny jokes you couldn't help at laugh at. Not because they were funny, but because they were stupid.
You really hit the jackpot with this one. The two of you agreed to get married immediately, your parents relieved to have no protest from their children.
As you sat there, seeing him animately laugh at his own joke as your families collectively shake their heads in playful disappointment, you only had one thought.
I can see myself falling in love with this man already.
There was only one problem, though.
He was in love with another.
You were approaching his bedchambers, his lounge for the time being before the two of you would be moved to the King's chambers, the coronation taking place with the wedding. Might as well save money and have two ceremonies in one, right?
You were about to ask him if he'd prefer your dress to be cream or pure white- (He was always so involved in your wedding planning, wanting to truly make it belong to the two of you instead of just hiring some wedding planner. You were so relieved to find out he wouldn't leave you to your own devices.)- when you heard something strange.
No, not just that. A female moan.
You halted your footsteps, deathly quiet as you stood before the bedroom door, already slightly ajar. You were paralyzed.
A breathy sigh was followed with a grunt, the sound of skin slapping against skin along with the creaking of a bed as the headboard knocked ever so lightly against the wall.
"You're so tight, you feel incredible like always."
"Jinnie, oh my God-"
"Feel good baby?"
"Feels so great. More, Jinnie, please-"
"Anything for you."
The moans get louder along with the knocking of the headboard against the wall, and you wonder how no one else had come to discover the two. Creeping forward you look between the crack to see your prince with his lover.
You recognized the woman. She was one of the servants that came with Seokjin's family when he moved in for wedding preparations. You noticed she gave him a longing look- but that's what everyone gave him. Who could blame her? He was stunning, charming, and a prince no less.
Perhaps you should've noticed how he looked at her.
The two of them were naked, the sheets a mess and pillows tossed on either side of them. He was on top of her, her feet dangling on either side of his head, hanging on his shoulders. Her legs were spread and her head was hung back, mouth agape as she moaned, overcome with pleasure. Jin gripped her thighs, his hips moving fast in a familiar rhythm, sweat covering his forehead. He looked beautiful, even when he was sweaty and grunting anomalistically.
You couldn't help but feel yourself blush, face turning red as you brought your hand over your mouth, attempting to suppress any noise of shock. You could feel your face burning up beneath your palm, along with a betraying knock of arousal in the pit of your stomach. It was unlike you, looking at such a scene, and it felt like an invasion of privacy.
Still, you couldn't pry your eyes from the pornographic image, the intimacy between the two. You had no experience with this sort of thing- staying a virgin with the full intent of giving it to your future husband, just as you were raised to.
You should be appalled by this scene. Instead of being the lady you were raised to be, to silently walk away from the scene, you stayed watching, feeling your entire body ignite.
Maybe it was the scent of sex that hung in the air. Maybe it was the moans. Maybe it was simply because you had no frame of reference when it came to sex, and this was to sate your curiosity. More than likely it was all three.
"I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna-" The girl let out a whine as Jin leaned forward, pinning her more firmly into the mattress as her legs bent back with him. His lips met hers, a sloppy kiss as the two interjoin more completely, chest to chest.
"I love you," he says breathlessly, the moment the kiss breaks.
"I love you too, Jinnie. I'm gonna cum, I-"
"Me too, love. Come with me."
Her eyes roll back and he presses his hips more firmly into her ass, letting out a low groan as he empties himself into her. The two stay like that for a moment, still joined together, breathless and sweaty as they stare into each other's eyes.
"I love you so much," he says tenderly, touching her face with a soft caress, as though he weren't fucking her into the mattress seconds before.
"I love you too, Jinnie," she says, tears brimming in her eyes.
"Why the tears, love?"
"Oh, you're getting married!" she cries, voice cracking. The two break apart, but he holds her in his arms, tight against his chest as she softly cries. For one who wasn't raised a lady, she sure knew how to cry daintily. "How am I supposed to feel?"
"I know, I know. I wish I could marry you, I really do."
"You're getting married to a princess. What need will you have with me?"
"Don't say that."
"I'm just going to be the nanny to your child, watching you play house with your pretty little wife! I can't just be a side piece."
"Hey, hey! Don't say that. Don't. You'll never be that, understand? I love you. I've been in love with you since we were little kids, I grew up with you. You know that."
"I know, but," she sniffs, wiping away a tear, "what about her?"
"What about her? She's a stranger. We're doing this because it's our duty."
"But she's pretty, she knows how to read. She's beautiful and educated and refined and rich! What am I? I'm a grubby little servant."
"You're the one I love. You're the one I choose."
"Then prove it."
She thinks for a moment before turning to him. "Run away with me. Don't marry her. We can take some of your family heirlooms and run to some estate or something in a faraway kingdom. We can start our own family and forget all of this."
Jin's silent at that, simply staring at her in the dark.
Her face crumples. "Oh, I knew it. You want me to just act as... as some concubine! To be-"
"Let's do it."
"I'm serious. We can run away. We'll have to come up with a plan, but let's do it."
"You really mean that?" she asks softly.
"I do," he says, cradling her face in his, giving her small pecks all over her face. "I choose you. I choose you over a kingdom, over a crown, over a princess. That's how much you mean to me. I'll always choose you."
With that, you walk away.
You had to come up with a plan.
"Prince Seokjin, darling," you greet, a fake smile plastered on your face as you waltz your way over to him.
He was busy smelling different flowers that were offered, the maids before him beaming and urging him to pick their own, as though it would indicate he was truly choosing one of them. Once he heard your call, though, he turned, beaming at you with that brilliant smile of his.
"Princess Y/N! You look radiant as always," he says, your hand coming up in a familiar motion as he lets his plump lips press against it.
He's a marvelous actor, you think to yourself. You supposed he had plenty of practice. There was no way his parents would tolerate him being in love with a mere servant girl- he had to have snuck her around his own palace for years.
"How's the wedding planning going?"
"I think I've gone nose blind. It appears I cannot distinguish between even roses and tulips!"
You smile at that. "Why, you must truly be going mad."
"Oh, not at all. I find it a good pastime, actually. Feels easier to plan a wedding than to plan a war."
"Well, we can only pray we won't be entering one of those in our lifetimes," you muse.
"Gift for the grandkids, I reckon," he winks.
You can't help but chuckle at that. "I, too, have found myself invested in the planning. I was going to ask you what color dress you'd like me to wear. It's approaching so soon- the seamstresses are getting anxious for my decision. The dress appears to be the most difficult of all, though."
"I do think the color silver suits you. Iridescent, like the moon," he says.
Ah yes, his lover was the sun, outshining you always as you hung in the background, always there and always leering, only visible to him when she was away. You were sure, however, that she thought the same about you. The truth was, however, that she was Juliet and you were Rosaline.
"Sounds perfect. I'll notify them immediately."
"Best to hurry the wedding along. Seems the sooner in approaches the more hectic the castle gets. Everyone's so busy, they have hardly any time to even pay attention to the bride and groom," he notes.
Clever. With how busy everyone was, no one would notice his disappearance. By the time someone did, he and the servant girl would be far gone.
"I truly cannot wait to get married," you beam.
"As am I, dear," he smiles.
"Might we take a break from these busybodies and take a walk around the quarters? I still have much to learn about my future husband," you say.
He offers his arm, which you link your own around. "But of course! Perhaps along the way, I'll regain my sense of smell."
The two of you depart, slowly trickling out of the crowds, out of ballrooms and hallways and into passageways. All of the servants were too busy to know where you were, or to occupy these small spaces. It was the perfect place to whisper into each other's ears without the worry of being overheard. Whether those whispers were sweet nothings or secrets, no one would know.
It wasn't until you were sure no one was near that you unlinked your arm from his, your false, cheery demeanor dropping immediately.
"So, tell me about your lover, Jinnie."
The prince freezes in his tracks, stunned. He raises his hand, opening his mouth to say something, but you're quick.
"Don't make another move."
You lift your skirt, the hem reaching to your waist as you bunch up the fabric, revealing the knife strapped to your thigh.
Seokjin gulps, taking a step back. "Do you always carry a knife on you, Your Highness?"
"Not always," you admit. "Only when I'm alone with a man. A lady like myself should know better than to be in closed quarters with one and engaged or not, you're a stranger. I don't know what your reaction will be to knowing your secret is revealed."
"How much do you know?"
"Enough. She's a servant girl from your palace, one you grew up with. You love her, and she loves you. The two of you plan to run away together. Am I incorrect?"
"Not in the slightest," he says, shaking his head. "I truly got the brightest bride, didn't I?"
"Enough with the flattery, Seokjin. We can cut the bullshit with each other now," you say bluntly.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Princess. I promise you that." He raises his hands in surrender. "Secret or not, I wouldn't dare lay a hand on a lady."
You look at him skeptically, quirking a brow, your hand hovering over the knife. "Why should I believe a word you say?"
"I'm simply a man in love, who wants the freedom to love. Is that such a crime?"
"It is, and you know what the consequences are," you remind him. Still, you release the fabric, letting the skirt flow back down to cover your legs. "Surely you know the danger there is. It would cost both of you your heads- hers, at the very least."
"So what? Are you going to turn us in?" He still holds his hands up, searching your eyes, trying to find answers. "Are you scorned to know you never stood a chance? That I wasn't the faithful prince you dreamt of?"
"Once you leave I'll be humiliated. I've been groomed for perfection, to marry the best. So when the best runs away, it'll only be presumed that I'm not perfect enough. Shame will be cast on my family and kingdom, and I'll be forced to marry another. It might not even be one of your brothers, and perhaps our kingdoms will war against one another."
Seokjin hangs his head. "You'd have every right to turn me in."
"There would still be shame, perhaps even more. To know I was replaced by a servant girl- there'd be public outrage. The Cinderella concept doesn't work as well in real life as one might think."
"So what're you going to do? Kill me here before anyone finds out? Cover it up and frame it as something else and carry on the wedding with one of my brothers?" Seokjin's eyes harden as he clenches his jaw. "You can do whatever you wish with me, as long as you promise me she stays out of it. I want her safe and happy. You can send her far from this kingdom if you so wish, but I want her safe. Do that, and even if you kill me I'll die a happy man."
"Don't be barbaric," you say, huffing. "I'm going to help you."
The prince's eyes widen in shock, and he sputters, lowering his arms. "Wait- wait, what?"
You finally let out a genuine smile, amused by his reaction. "I'm going to help you two escape, my dear Prince."
"I- thank you so much- but why?"
"You two are going to need help. All of the known exits are going to be blocked by guards- an effort to prevent incoming assassins from crashing the wedding. This is my palace, not yours. I'm not sure how things run in your kingdom, but our security is top-notch. You'd never stand a chance, even now. And I'm not doing this to save just my own reputation, mind you. I find you charming, handsome, and a suitable husband. I could see myself falling in love with you, Prince Seokjin."
"Then why do you wish to let me run away with another?"
"Because I refuse to be the evil queen who prevents love from blooming. You deserve the freedom to love. You found the real thing- who am I to stop you? You'd be unhappy as my husband, and so would your lover. They say, happy wife, happy life, but what about the other way around?"
"You're truly doing this out of the goodness of your heart?"
"Not quite. As with all things, there's a catch," you admit.
"Name your price. I'll do whatever you wish," he promises.
You hold up your hand, silencing him. "Hear my conditions before you make any promises, Prince. Surely even you should know negotiation tactics. First and foremost, you'd still have to go through with the wedding and coronation. We still need our kingdoms joined, and the title will grant me far more power than I would have as a princess. I'd rather not wait until the next wedding to gain the crown. It'll make your escape run much smoother, which we'll start after all is said and done. Soonest we can do is about three months after the wedding and coronation when all of the guests are gone and things have simmered down. We'll need to prepare food, money, carriage, and living arrangements in the meantime to prepare for the escape."
"I can understand that much. I'm sure that'll be fine," he says.
"That's not quite the catch, though. I'm not sure your lover will be too fond of this one, either," you tell him. "There's another reason we'll have to wait until three months for you two to leave. It'll take at least that long for me to find out if I'm pregnant."
The prince's eyes widen comically at that. "Pregnant?"
You nod firmly. "Once you two have escaped, saying either you ran away or faking your death, they can always cancel the alliance or marry me to another. With a baby, however, the kingdoms would still remain permanently joined, and I won't be forced to marry another, on account that I'll no longer be a virgin. My main purpose anyway is to raise an heir, so this will give me at least 18 years to rule until they're of age. There would be no need for a king so long as I do the job myself. I also refuse to let rumors run amok about my baby being a bastard, for that matter. Once I show signs of pregnancy, it'll be your indicator to leave."
"So you mainly need me to knock you up?" Seokjin questioned. "Make sure it's me?"
"I have no doubt the baby will grow to be as beautiful as you, Seokjin. Genes like that don't just skip a generation," you say, trying to lighten the mood. "As I said, those are my conditions. They are non-negotiable. Unless you wish to continue sneaking your lover around for, perhaps, the next 18 years. And considering the fact I had simply stumbled upon one of your trysts during the night, I'd say you're lucky you haven't gotten caught sooner. I suggest you talk to her about the conditions and gain her approval."
"She'll agree, even at the price. Neither of us will be necessarily thrilled about the ordeal, but it's well worth it." Seokjin laughs for a moment. "You're a beautiful princess, anyway."
"And you're alright with everything? You do realize that we'd have to consummate our marriage several times to increase the likelihood of pregnancy."
"I'm well aware."
"And you'll be alright with abandoning your child?"
Seokjin's quiet at that.
"Perhaps I'll sneak in a visit once or twice," he says quietly. "Should a kid really be without a father?"
"They'll have to be," you say. "I'll raise them splendidly, though. I'll give them father figures to spare. And maybe I'll let them visit a quiet manor once in a while to visit a lord and a lady, perhaps faraway cousins. And maybe, just maybe, they'll look into your eyes and see their own. Maybe they'll even think of you as the father they never had."
Seokjin's eyes soften as he looks at you. "You're a far better person than I am, Princess."
You smile weakly, reaching forward to brush your fingers against his cheek. "I know."
You slip away, gliding at a familiar pace already, but stop. You turn your head to the side to look at him. "Tell them roses are overrated and to try and get something periwinkle. I think the color will compliment my dress."
It was the eve of the wedding, and anxiety was starting to overtake you. Why were you nervous? You had planned everything out. It wasn't like you'd even have to commit to the man, dreading a life with him. The concept of you having cold feet would be utterly ridiculous.
You were in the middle of a relaxation period, one maid combing your hair and another massaging your shoulders when there was a knock at your door.
"Come in," you call, not bothering to look their way.
Surprisingly, you see Prince Seokjin with his lover, though she stands demurely behind him, head bowed the same as any other maid.
"Why, my betrothed, what a surprise," you say, smiling to him. "You're lucky I wasn't trying on my wedding dress."
"Never took you as the superstitious type, darling," he chuckled, nodding to his lover to close the door behind him.
You turn to your own maids, waving your hand. "You're dismissed. I wish to speak to my fiancé. You needn't worry about us partaking in wedding night shenanigans- I'll make sure his maid is present. I'm sure neither of us will have trouble refraining ourselves from tomfoolery."
The maids bow deeply, quickly departing from the room.
You turn to the couple, a warm smile on your face. "Getting cold feet, Seokjin?"
"Not at all- simply pre-wedding jitters," he assures you.
You look over to the maid, stepping closer. You tried to keep your interactions with her scarce- the less you knew of her the better. Still, you tilted her chin up with your hand, urging her to stop staring at her feet and instead into your eyes. "And you? You're still alright with the arrangements?"
It had come to no surprise that she had agreed to your conditions, despite the fact she was unsettled with some of the standards. Still, she was compliant.
"I am, Princess," she confirms. "It's a happy compromise."
"If only lords had that wisdom," you muse to yourself. You clap your hands, remembering something. "Speaking of! Your manor is almost done. It'll take two months to complete, so by the time your murder or departure is announced, whichever you choose, you'll have a home all ready."
"Are you sure three months will be enough time for them to believe you hadn't murdered me for power?" the prince questions.
"That is a good concern, but I don't think there'll be any turn about. No matter how much time passes, there will be rumors. The most we can do is act as in love as possible during your stay here. An endless honeymoon phase."
"I've heard some of the other servants gossip already about how the love is legitimate," his lover mentions. "They say it's something straight out of a fairytale."
"At least we know we're on the right track," you confirm. "So are we confirming it'll be a murder?"
"Less shame. It'll be cleaner that way. I may be leaving my family, but I know they'd grieve more over their own misfortune than my death. This will have the least amount of casualties," he answers.
"And we can claim that she was the one who killed you, perhaps? It would explain her disappearance as well."
"How will we stage the fake death, then?" Seokjin ponders over it. "We've been thinking about it for days now, and I can't come up with anything."
"That's why I'm the planner in this relationship, my Prince," you chortle. "Type A, remember? I've been thinking about it as well. I was thinking we could go hunting, perhaps a game of chase. We can bring a few servants, and I'll separate with you two momentarily. By the time my own ladies in waiting catch up with me, I'll be mourning, claiming that the maid that had come along with you pushed you into a rushing river, sweeping your body away and that she had run away. I'd most likely have to get a cut or two to make it seem as though I was also attacked. While the rest are looking for either Seokjin's body or the murderess, you two will be departing in a nearby carriage, where new clothes, food, and whatever else you'll need for the journey will be provided."
"You're brilliant!" Seokjin exclaims, giving you a peck on the cheek.
His lover's eyes brim with tears, and in a rush of emotion, embraces you, her arms wrapping around you as she pulls you close. "Thank you, Your Highness. You're a blessing to us, and you'll be a blessing to the people. We owe you our lives."
"Well, it'll be in exchange for a new one," you remind her, stiff as you were unfamiliar with the feeling of a hug. "Need I remind you we'll begin tomorrow?"
She stiffens as well at the reminder, releasing you. "Oh... yes..."
"And you're still on board?"
"It must be done. It's a small price to pay."
Was it though? It was a child.
You compose yourself, smoothing your hands over your clothes to get rid of wrinkles. "Well, I suppose I must get ready for bed. We have a long day ahead of ourselves, don't we?"
"Indeed. Tomorrow we'll be husband and wife," Seokjin says.
"We'll be king and queen," you add.
"And in three months we'll be gone," the maid whispers lowly.
Your dress was truly enchanting, an iridescent glow keeping all eyes on you as you walked down the aisle. It had a long train and high neck with a low back, all of it shimmering with every move you made. The veil you wore concealed your face, though beneath you wore golden lids and a tint that made your lips look like flower petals. One arm was linked with your father's, the King, and the other held a bouquet of periwinkles.
Any whispers or talks were immediately quiet, a shush amongst the people as you approached the altar, the oh so handsome prince waiting eagerly. You kept in beat with the tune the musicians played, hoping the song would be enough to mask the sound of your racing heart.
You reached the altar sooner than you would've hoped, and soon your father placed your hand in Seokjin's. The two of you interlocked fingers, giving one another a familiar, anxious smile before turning to the minister.
You could feel Seokjin's pulse through his hand, and you were sure he could do the same. You wondered if either of you were even listening as the minister questioned him about if he intended to stay true to you, caring for you in sickness and in health, as well as serve the kingdom as the new ruler. He asked you the same, and you were all too eager to answer "I do!" to every question he threw at you, though you knew you had no intention of keeping true to the promises made in regards to your husband.
The first to be crowned was Seokjin, a velvet cape being draped over his shoulders and a golden scepter in his free hand. A golden crown was placed upon his perfectly combed hair, fitting perfectly. You felt your heart race impossibly faster once it was your turn, a lighter cape being placed upon your shoulders. You couldn't help but shudder at the feeling of the crown on your head, a silver one to remind the people that though you were Queen, the King came first. It was beautiful, though, silver and littered with diamonds and emeralds.
"I now present to you, for the very first time, your King and Queen! You may now kiss the bride!"
Funny, that you were about to kiss Seokjin for the first time when tonight you'd be doing a lot more. You didn't think to ask before, considering it disrespectful to his relationship, but now you regret it.
Seokjin lifts your veil to reveal your face to both him and the public. You blink up at him expectantly, eyes trained on the plush, parted lips.
"You look beautiful," he says beneath his breath.
Hurry up and lay one on me.
As though reading your mind, he presses his lips against your own. They're softer than you dreamt of, enveloping yours, his mouth firm against your own. Your own lashes flutter shut as you pull him slightly closer, your hand coming up to his face to cradle his cheek.
The two of you break apart, gleeful smiles on your faces, almost as though you had gotten the hardest part over with.
But that was yet to come.
You look over to your husband, the two of you sitting on the lavish, silk sheets, neither of you moving. You weren't sure what was preventing you from taking action. After all, virginity was truly, at its core, a concept. You were a woman who liked to take charge and had more than enough confidence in herself and her capabilities.
The room had been set up as one would expect- candles, petals, chocolates. You had eaten three pieces already.
What was the hold-up?
You turn to Seokjin, taking in a deep breath as you finally made the first move, slowly removing your clothes. His eyes raked down your figure, Adam's apple bobbing up and down the column of his throat, seeing you in your unmentionables, your impeccable clothes now discarded to the floor.
"Do you like it?" you question, combing your fingers through your hair in an attempt to loosen it up.
"I..." He licks his lips. "I do. I like it a lot."
"I'm glad." You inch closer to him, reaching for his hand and pressing it against your cheek, slowly getting on top of him. "You know, I won't get pregnant if you can't touch me."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this. It's just been a while since I've been with anyone else. It's new... like... fresh, I suppose," he explained.
"If it helps, you can simply think of it as a transaction. Simply business. No offense to you, but I don't expect much. Or you can simply think of her in my place," you offer.
"No, that'd be unfair to you. I want to make you feel good, really," he says. As though mustering up the courage, he finally leans in, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss is tender, sweet. It's slow and builds up, letting you two take your time at a leisure pace, knowing you didn't have to rush.
He breaks the kiss apart. "Also, I still take offense to the 'not expecting much'. I don't know what other guys you've been with, but I've been told I'm rather generous."
You couldn't help but snort at that. "Oh, please. I hope the baby doesn't inherit your cockiness."
He rolls his eyes, kissing you again, this time more firm as he begins to run his hands over your body. You're tense, but welcome the touch, the foreign sensation of having someone else's hands on you filling you with adrenaline. His hands squeeze your breasts, removing more garments from you before rolling the nipples beneath his thumbs, humming into your mouth as he felt them harden at his touch.
You find yourself enjoying the sensation, drawing him closer as he breaks the kiss apart, mouth on your breasts to simulate the hardened buds. You tilt your head back, concentrated on the feeling of his mouth against your hot skin, his hands along your back as he tried to push you further against his mouth.
Once he's done he pulls back, making you yelp in alarm as he flips you over onto the bed. "Fun fact, I prefer to be on top," he grins, causing you to swat him in the chest.
"Less talking and more doing. Take your clothes off too- it's weird if I'm the only one who's naked."
He complies, obviously having no sense of insecurity as he yanks his shirt over his head, pulling his pants down until he was only in his underwear. You couldn't help but let your eyes linger on his body, admiring the broad shoulders and smooth skin. You only tore your eyes away when you caught sight of the typical cocky smirk.
"Like what you see, Princess?"
"That's Queen to you."
"My mistake," he chuckles, spreading your legs apart before removing the last undergarment, leaving you completely bare before him. He settles between your legs, large hands spread against your thighs as he slowly inches them apart, revealing your wet heat.
"Wait," you said, suddenly nervous.
"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" he questioned, hands immediately off of you.
"No, no, you did nothing wrong. I just..." You took in a deep breath. "You should know that I've never... done anything with anyone before. This is my first time."
He pauses at that, soaking in the information. "You're a virgin?"
"Really? I wouldn't have guessed from how you were climbing me like a tree back there."
You flush red, smacking him in the chest again as he laughs. "I did not, you buffoon!"
"I'm joking, I'm joking! Still, you have more confidence than most. I would've assumed you weren't."
"Just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean I'm completely 'innocent' and devoid of confidence and sexuality. Virginity is closer to a social construct and doesn't dictate purity in the slightest, but is instead a prudish and sexist concept that is meant to determine a woman's worth and a man's masculinity."
"I agree with that, trust me. You have a point," Seokjin admits.
"So... You're ok with me being a virgin? You being my first, I mean?"
"Are you kidding? It's... You're going to think I'm weird."
"Spit it out, already."
"Well, not going to lie, but it's really fucking hot."
"I'm not!" Hesitantly, he takes your hand, pressing it against his clothed dick. You gasped in surprise, the erection far bigger than you had suspected it to be. He whimpers slightly at your touch as you press your palm down a bit harder, rubbing your hand against it.
"Why does me being a virgin turn you on so much?" you asked him, curious.
"I don't know. I guess it's the thought that you trust me enough to be your first? That I'll be the first man ever to do anything to you, with you. I'll be the first inside you." You felt his dick twitch under your palm at that. "I know you went on that whole shpeal about how it's a construct and doesn't determine your purity, but it really does make it feel like I'm going to corrupt me."
"Funny how your first time corrupting me is going to also knock me up."
"You're going to make me cum in my underwear if you keep talking like that," he hissed. "We haven't even gotten to the fun part, yet."
"Alright, stick it in me then."
"No!" Seokjin swatted your hand away. "I've got to prepare you first so that it doesn't hurt. Especially considering the fact that you're a virgin. I'll be gentle of course, but it'll go a lot easier if you're wet."
"I'm already wet."
"Just trust me on this, ok? Spread your legs for me."
You couldn't help but shudder at his words, obeying his command as you reveal once again your core, hearing him let out a sharp hiss.
"You look really good like this," he says, licking his lips as he slowly descends down your body. "I'm the luckiest husband in the world."
"Does that mouth ever stop- ohh."
His mouth licked a stripe up your slit, hands pressed against your inner thighs as you attempted to cage him in. He let his tongue run over your folds, tasting what you had to offer before giving you a gentle suck on your clit, feeling your thighs already quiver at the action. He grins, coming back up. "What were you saying about my mouth?"
"Shut up and get to it."
He doesn't need any further instruction, proceeding as he eats you out, alternating between tasting you straight at the source and making your stomach twist with sharp sucks against your clit. He took his time, meticulous, french kissing your cunt with skill. He took the time to try and learn what you liked and didn't like, your moans getting louder when he paid more attention to your clit, and small whimpers emitting from your mouth when he proceeded to tongue fuck you.
Slowly he let one of his hands slide off your thigh, a digit circling your entrance before slipping in easily, the copious arousal preventing friction. Your body jerked slightly when he curled it, searching for your g-spot. When he found it you were letting out breathy gasps, fingers coming to his hair to push him further into you. As always, he complied, repeatedly curling his fingers as he ate you out, moaning into your head to send vibrations throughout your core.
"Oh my God, Seokjin, fuck."
"More, please," you moaned, screwing your eyes shut as you focused on the pleasure.
"More fingers. Want you to fill me."
"That mouth is fucking dangerous," he growled. Slowly he inched in the second digit, your walls accommodating them as he scissored your cunt, stretching you out. It wasn't long before you could handle a third, his thick fingers providing a pleasurable burn you couldn't help but crave.
An odd feeling was brought up in the pit of your stomach, and you pulled harder at Seokjin's hair, heels digging into his back.
"I-I'm going- fuck, I-"
"That's right, cum for me," he growled, words muffled by your wet heat.
You felt it sooner than you could process it, an orgasm washing throughout your body in a wave of euphoria. It was better than even literature could describe, and despite how much you read and wondered about the real thing, even experimenting with yourself, it was nothing compared to the real thing.
Your breathing was hard, panting for air as he came back up. The visual stimulus of his handsome face smeared with your juices, his reward for eating you out as though you were his last meal on death row.
"How're you holding up, Your Majesty?" he chuckled, proud of himself. "I don't think you lasted even eight minutes."
You weren't in the mood to counter his gloating, instead reaching for his underwear, shucking them to the floor. He let out a gasp of surprise as you unapologetically wrapped your hand around his length, slowly pumping him.
"Fuck, you're so big," you said, mouth agape in awe. You were unsure if it was because you simply had no other frame of reference to compare him to or because he really was that big, but something told you that the sweet spots he'd be able to reach and the pleasurable stretch would be worth it. "Want you inside me."
"Yeah? Want me to give you a baby?" He groaned, bucking his hips as your hand continued to pump his length. "Tighter, just like that. Oh, fuck."
"Want you to fill me up with this big cock. Want you to fill me up with cum." Your mouth didn't seem to have a filter, your thoughts bubbling to the surface. You were cock drunk, it seemed, focused more on it than your own dignity. Oh, what your etiquette teachers would think if they saw you now.
"I'm ready," he said, removing your hand. "I don't want to blow my load too early. Want to cum inside you."
You laid back down, letting him climb on top of you, the head circling your entrance.
"I'm gonna go slow. Just tell me if it hurts, ok?" He seemed so sincere, staring into your eyes as though he was truly concerned he'd harm you.
You simply bucked your hips up against him, urging him closer. "I'll be ok."
He slowly pushes in, and you bite your lip, toes curling as he sinks the head in, the thickest part. You can already feel a bit of a burn as your walls stretched around to accommodate him. He studied your reaction, making sure you were alright before sinking in, slowly as he went inch by inch. You savored each second, eyes screwed shut as you toss your head back, lip caught between your teeth.
With each grimace or wince you gave, Seokjin placed a kiss on your forehead, assuring you that you'd be alright and that the pain would be over soon. You simply tried to concentrate on his voice, how low and oddly soothing it was.
It wasn't until he was balls deep in you, bottoming out, that you truly processed it. You were no longer a virgin, from this moment forward. Society saw you as tainted, taken, and impure.
And you loved it.
Seokjin buried his head in your shoulder, biting down as he tried to refrain from moving. "You're- fuck, you're tighter than I expected. I should've prepared you more. You feel so good."
Your pussy clenched around him at that, only making his arms buckle slightly above you.
"You sure?" he questions.
You nod. "Yeah, I'm alright. Go."
He's slow, rocking his hips back and forth, the movements shallow. You couldn't help but watch where your bodies were connected, fascination evident in your eyes. There was a subtle pain, but not as much as you were expecting, and once it subsided you began to feel good. Before you knew it the two of you were moaning, his thrusts deeper and less careful, his more animalistic side creeping in to replace the sweet, tender lover.
You whimpered, nails digging into his back, raking down. He let out a hiss above you, gritting his teeth, though he showed no complaints. If you had drawn blood, he seemed to only let it fuel him further.
"G-Gonna fill me up? Get me pregnant?" you stammered, eyes rolling back. "Give me your baby?"
"Fuck, yeah, gonna make sure this tight pussy gets filled."
"You l-like fucking a virgin's cunt?"
"Feels like heaven," he grunted. "My dirty little virgin."
"You're so deep in me." You looked down, noticing the movement of his cock inside of you, evident at the pit of your belly.
"Gotta reach the womb," he explained. "Gotta fill it up with cum so a baby grows there."
"Want you to cum in me. Knock me up," you say, pleading. "Let me have it."
He groans, his pace getting sloppy. You could feel it- he was close. Still, he slithered a hand between the two of you, toying with your clit, sending sparks through your body. "Want you to cum with me. I won't give you my cum unless you cum first."
With how many places he could reach inside of you, hitting spots inside of you that you didn't even know existed, plus the stimulation of your clit, it didn't take long for you to do just that. As soon as Seokjin saw your eyes rolling back and felt your pussy repeatedly spasming and clenching over his cock, he became undone, making sure to bottom out inside of you and fill you up to the brink.
The two of you panted heavily, and it wasn't until he was milked of every drop that he rolled over and off of you, collapsing at your side. He snuggled against your side, however, kissing the side of your neck as he let his hand travel back down to your heat.
You cringed at the overstimulation, curling in on yourself. "Seokjin-"
"Shh, gotta make sure all my cum stays inside you," he says, voice soft as he murmurs against your skin. You tolerate the way his palm rubs against your clit as he pushes any trickling cum back inside of you with his fingers, sure to not let any drop go to waste.
He brings his hand back up, the digits glistening with both of your juices. "Suck."
You obey, mouth wrapping around it as you clean him off.
He smiled at that, letting his fingers escape your mouth with a lewd pop. "What a perfect, dirty little wife I have."
"What an idiot I've got for a husband."
Routine seemed to be your best friend.
You'd wake up in the morning with Seokjin at your side, the two of you getting ready for the day. You'd share breakfast together and go over paperwork and laws, planning negotiations. You typically did it, running the show, as most of your ideas seemed to be far more fleshed out than his. Between hours of work you'd have free time, Seokjin seeing his lover and you spending your time relaxing, often getting your hands massaged to ache the cramps in your hands from all of the writing. You'd typically go to bed alone, on the nights Seokjin didn't fuck you, but somehow he was always there when you woke up, snuggling by your side.
You couldn't help but feel a warm tenderness for your husband, enjoying the breakfast you spent with just him. Lunches were typically during free time, so he'd have his own hidden away, and dinners were with lords and ladies discussing what they thought ought to be done. (Most wanted to trample over one another to gain power, not even thinking about those who resided on their land. Countesses were vermin, in your opinion.)
You knew you were supposed to see Seokjin only in an analytical, logical light. A professional relationship. Perhaps it was how you shared the same bed, or how sweet he'd be at times. You felt yourself falling, however, before you knew it. Your parents would often note how happy you seemed together, pleased by how genuine your affection was for one another.
And he couldn't deny it either.
You stood before the mirror, trying to see whether or not you were showing yet. You weren't even three months in, but you were eager, wondering when you'd see the little bump. Soon enough you'd be inflated like a balloon, your feet swollen and back aching. Soon enough you'd feel tiny kicks and be picking out names.
Seokjin smiled, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around you, his own hands over yours as he pressed them a lightly against your stomach. "Feel anything yet?"
"No," you frowned. "I can't even tell."
"Maybe you just ate too much at dinner, sweetheart. I'm pretty sure I can feel a food baby right here." He presses your stomach for emphasis, and you swat him playfully, rolling your eyes.
"Like you're one to talk. Eat any more turkey and I'll start thinking you're the one who'll be eating for two."
You stare at the two of you in the mirror, his chin resting on your shoulder as you gazed at each other. This was nice. It felt so oddly domestic, as though you two were truly raising a baby together out of love and not necessity.
"I wish we could be like this all the time," he admitted, his voice soft. "I like this routine. I'm happy."
"I like this too," you admit to yourself. "It feels right."
"Doesn't it?" His mood dips a bit, his eyes sad. "Do you want me to at least stay long enough to help you through the baby? I don't like the thought of you having to deal with the pregnancy all on your own."
"Next thing you know you'll be saying you don't want me to give birth alone, or raising a child on my own."
"Maybe..." He lowers his eyes, pressing your back closer to his chest. "Are you happy like this?"
"I think I'm happier than I ever have been."
"Then why do we have to stop? Why can't we live every day like this?"
You knew what he was trying to say. Words he couldn't dare say out loud, for all of your sakes. You wanted to say it too.
I love you.
"You know why. You made a promise. We both did," you remind him, not wanting to humor him. "It wouldn't be fair to her, now would it? She isn't happy."
"She's eager. She doesn't see the attachment or the fear about the baby. It's all just going to plan," he explains.
"It is. I don't blame her. You know what they say- a woman becomes a mother as soon as she gets the news, and a man becomes a father as soon as he sees the baby."
"I don't want to be that kind of man, though. I'm a father."
"Seokjin, we don't even know if I'm pregnant yet."
"I know," he says. "I can feel it in my gut."
"I'm sure you can," you smile, chuckling softly. You stare at yourself in the mirror, hand running over your stomach once again, searching. "What should we name it?"
"Seokjin Jr. if it's a boy, of course."
Oddly enough you didn't object. "And if it's a girl?"
"I was thinking about that the other day. Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with a name related to periwinkles."
"Remember? It was the color you really liked, the kind of flowers you chose for your bouquet at our wedding."
"I'm surprised you remember," you say. "I was thinking something similar, in a sense. Selene."
"Selene? What does that have to do with periwinkles?"
"Not periwinkles. The moon. Like how you wanted my wedding dress to be silver? Silver as the moon. Selene was the goddess of the moon, at least in Greek mythology."
"I like the name." He laughs a little to himself. "Either way it's an S name. Seokjin Jr. or Selene."
"I didn't say it'd be Seokjin Jr.!"
"You didn't object!"
"I hope for your sake we have a girl, then."
"I'd love a little girl." Seokjin's eyes literally light up at the prospect. "She could have my lips and your eyes and little pigtails! Oh, could you imagine all the fancy little dresses she'd run around in? All of them periwinkle, of course!"
"You're obsessed with that color, aren't you?"
"What can I say, it reminds me of you."
Your smile is a sad one, and you squeeze your hand around his, looking down from your reflection. "You'd be a good father. You will be. I'll be sure to send our child over as often as I can."
There's a silence between you two, and you feel yourself start to tear up, your eyes getting glassy.
There's a lump in your throat as you slightly choke on your own words. "Is it bad I don't want you to leave?"
"No. I don't want to leave either."
"But you will, right?"
"You made a point- we both made promises. I can't keep her in this suffocating castle for much longer."
"For her. It can't be easy to constantly hear about the one she loves being with another. She was first and... I still love her."
"I don't want to leave you..."
"...but you know I have to."
Another pause settles between you two, and you offer a weak smile, squeezing his hand again as you lock eyes in the reflection, small tears at the corners of your eyes. You reach back, caressing his cheek softly. "Let's enjoy the time we have left. Stress can't be good for the baby."
Morning sickness was a bitch.
It had been three days, in the middle of your third month, when it was confirmed you were pregnant. You had suspected, of course, with the sickness, but it could also be a bad case of the flu. The doctor assured otherwise.
When you told Seokjin he had a different reaction from you, leaping for joy and twirling you in the air. "I'm going to be a father! Can you believe it? Me!"
You smiled as brightly as you could, kissing him on the mouth with as much emotion as you could muster. You wanted to convey how much you truly did love him, and why today was the day you were letting him go.
He didn't have long to celebrate, as soon enough you had called upon his lover for a secret meeting, the three of you discussing plans.
"As I'm sure you're aware by now, I'm pregnant," you tell her, your voice soft.
"Congratulations, Your Majesty," she says, her tone wary, as though she was unsure of your next lines. It couldn't be easy for her, you knew, to know that you were carrying the proof of his trysts with you. "I'm sure you're pleased."
"I am. Everything's going according to plan," you nod. "Which is why the two of you must leave today."
Seokjin stands upright, shocked. "Today?"
"Yes. Today." You made eye contact with the woman, and she meets it for once, knowing exactly what you meant. If Seokjin stayed here much longer, with his excitement and absolute joy, he'd never want to leave. And all three of you knew it'd be best for him to be removed from the situation as soon as possible now that their end of the deal was complete.
"I've got a game on horseback scheduled already. Some of the ladies in waiting will be with me. You two will go off to the river- the one we planned for. Let one of the horses go free and escape to the hidden carriage. I've got everything set up, and the two of you will have to disguise yourselves. Remember, rub dirt on Seokjin's face and powder your own. You're a countess traveling back home with your favorite footman. The driver won't ask any questions and knows the way. I'll fix up the rest within ten minutes. Remember to leave Seokjin's horse by the riverside."
Of course, the three of you had practiced on multiple occasions, knowing exactly where the river was, where the carriage would be, and where to let the horse go. It didn't even feel real yet, and you were going to be doing it in but a few hours.
"No buts, Seokjin. I'm pregnant. We don't have time to waste." You can't even meet him in the eye. "I'll get changed to prepare for the game, and I suggest you two do as well."
The maid nods, leaving the room to get ready. Seokjin is left staring at you.
"This is the last time I'm ever going to see you again, isn't it?"
"Seokjin, we both know you can't stay here much longer. We did what we had to do. It's time for what you were wanting in the beginning."
"Things are different now-"
"The plan is completed now," you finish. "We prepared for this."
His face crumples, and he looks like he's about to cry, holding back tears. He holds your hands, squeezing them as though through an act of desperation. "Y/N..."
"Seokjin." You can't even look at him. You know that if you do, you'll cry too.
"It's too quick. Give me a day or-"
"Seokjin," you interrupt. He's quiet, knowing that nothing he could do or say would change anything. You were stubborn, as was his lover. He had a type. This wasn't a battle he could win, and ultimately he knew that he had no other choice.
"I love you," he says in a sudden act of declaration. "I love her too, and I'll go with her. I just wanted you to know before I left."
You feel tears slip down your cheeks, your hands limp in his. You don't want to respond, knowing your voice will crack and get shaky if you even attempted to.
"Do... Do you feel the same?"
There's a lump in your throat that makes it hard for you to speak coherently. "You already know the answer to that."
"I want to hear you say it."
"I do." You look at him, staring him in the eye to let him know you truly, sincerely mean it. "I really, really love you. And that's why I'm letting you go."
He closes his eyes, tears clinging to his lashes as he kissed your forehead, pressing his own against it, the two of you just listening to each other's breathing for that small, intimate moment. "I know," he whispers.
Those were the last words you ever heard from Kim Seokjin.
"My Queen, might I say I'm surprised you want to celebrate your pregnancy with a game tonight," one of your ladies say. "Wouldn't you rather be laying down or hosting a party, rather than catching foxes?"
"Oh, well, you know how the King is. Something about catching some impressive game- promises a healthy boy- oh, I don't know. It's a tradition in his kingdom."
"You truly love him, don't you, Your Majesty?" one of the other questions, admiration in her tone. She seemed to be rather the romantic. You could remember when you were like that, once. "If you pardon me for asking."
"I do," you admit, your voice soft. "I couldn't have asked for a better husband."
"Speaking of him, where has he been? He and his maid have been up ahead for a while, now," the first questions. She pulls on the reigns, her horse stopping. "Do you suppose they've gotten lost?"
"I'm sure they haven't- but I'll go up ahead. Catch up with me later."
Before they can protest you speed up, making a beeline for the riverside. True enough, the only thing there was a horse.
They were long gone.
Your heart collapsed on itself, despite the fact you were expecting it. It made it finally feel real, knowing that you had now forever lost Seokjin. Your husband, your love, the father to your child, was long gone.
Only the harsh roars of the river drowned out your cry.
You sobbed, shaky as you got off your horse and approached Seokjin's, taking the saddle and retrieving the dagger. You add a cut or two to your shoulder and arm, making it draw blood but not deep enough to seriously injure yourself. Once the blade was messy enough you collapsed to the floor, overstruck with grief.
Your ladies in waiting find you curled in on yourself, immediately rushing to your aid, ripping the fabric of their dress to wrap around your injuries.
"T-The maid," you choke out, trying to remember your story, "s-she had killed Seokjin. Stabbed him and pushed him into the river. Sh-She came after me and I pushed back and she simply hopped on her horse and ran."
"My Queen, I'm-"
"He's dead!" You wailed, hands buried in your face. "He's gone. He's gone for good. I'll never see him again."
"We'll find the woman who killed him and see to it that she's put to death."
You only shook your head, rocking back and forth, overcome with grief. True, genuine anguish, but not the kind they could comprehend. With shaky legs, you stood back to your feet, your ladies attending to you and bringing you back to the castle, knowing the sad news would be a tragedy to the kingdom.
You clutched onto your stomach, the last piece you had left of him, and thought about how the father of your child was already on his way out to start a new life, with a new wife and perhaps a new family.
The two of you truly did love each other- and even now you didn't regret letting him go.
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