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sopebubbles · 2 years

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Chapter 7

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At thirty-two weeks, your baby has regular patterns of sleeping and waking.

Chapter summary: with photos of the two out on the internet, Jimin did his best to manage the situation for the best, although not everyone will see it that way.

Warnings: cussing (it should really just go without saying with me), just a lot of angst, but there's some fluff too 🥰

WC: 5.5k

"Jimin," you whimper once you're in a main road, after the silence becomes unbearable.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. You must be so scared," Jimin says in what you know is an attempt at a soothing voice. He spares you a quick glance and there's no missing the terror in your eyes.

"I'm the one who's sorry. You should never have been here with me. I shouldn't have dragged you into this. I shouldn't-"

"Y/N."

"-be seen with you, and I know that."

"Y/N!" Jimin raises his voice just a little, just to stop your rambling, and you visibly shrink in your seat. "I'm sorry I shouted. But you need to stop. I'm not upset."

"This is all my fault," you hush.

"Y/N, none of this is your fault," he tells you firmly.

"Those pictures are going to be everywhere by the time we get to your place. Just take me home."

The shame and fear in your voice makes Jimin's heart ache. He checks his mirrors like he's been doing since he left the parking lot. "Y/N, do you think the pictures won't be posted if I take you home?" his tone is a bit more condescending than you like, but he's right.

"No," you mumble.

"Will it make your head feel any better?"

"No."

"Right. And I signed a paper saying I'd look after you so we're going to my place. End of discussion."

"But Jimin-"

"No. There's nothing we can do now. The only thing we can do now is take care of you. So let me do that, please?" You can see the way his fists grip the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white and the hard set of his jaw. You interpret these as signs of his anger about the storm that's certainly heading your way, but you're wrong.

What's sending Jimin through the roof--though he's truly doing his very best to contain it--is that someone would dare to harass you like that. To try and take pictures of him is one thing, but to follow you, to try to take pictures of you, to attempt to touch a stranger who's clearly pregnant, that behavior far crosses the line, and Jimin is doing everything he can not to explode. He wants to explain this to you, so you'll know he's not upset with you and that what happened - and whatever is going to happen - isn't your fault. But right now he can barely contain his rage and he doesn't want you to see it, so he simply drives with quiet music in the background and takes several unnecessary turns, checking the mirrors frequently until you arrive at his building. You just lean your head back against the headrest and close your eyes to block out the annoying headlights coming your way.

When you slowly make it from his car to the elevator and finally to his floor, you're surprised to see Jeongguk waiting by his door. His hoodie is pulled up partially shielding his face but you can see the stress in his eyes. You think for a second here's there to reprimand you and that all of bangtan must know by now. Then you remember yourself and the whole reason this scenario could ever happen. You realize Jimin must have called him and he's here to check on his baby. God does your head hurt.

No one says anything until you're all inside. "How is it?" Jeongguk asks, reaching a hand out toward your belly and you involuntarily flinch before you remember he isn't a threat. Then you take a step toward him to let him know it's okay and he presses a warm hand to the front of your bump.

"Mochi is perfectly fine, don't worry. Everything is normal," you tell him calmly. He lets out a sigh of relief when he feels movement within and looks at your face.

"And you?"

"I'm tired and my head hurts. Otherwise…" you don't finish your sentence. You can't be sure if Jeongguk knows about what happened yet, but you don't want to be the one to tell him. Regardless, to tell him you're fine would just be a lie, and you're too drained for that.

"Why don't I show you the guest room and then I'll order us some dinner. You must be starving. I know I am." Jimin is trying nonchalance once again. He hasn't spoken directly to Jeongguk yet, but he spares him a glance as he directs you to the bedroom. He realizes you don't have anything to wear other than your work clothes, so he goes to his room and brings back some comfy sweats and an extra large t-shirt of his. Then he tells you to get comfortable and promises to return soon.

"What the hell happened?" Jeongguk hisses when Jimin returns to the kitchen. He opens a drawer of take out menus and begins to search through them.

"I told you, she fell, bumped her head. Now she's staying here for a few days until she's well again." Jimin puts down the menu he's scanning and looks up. "Or longer if I can convince her."

"Jimin, a fan saw you!" Jeongguk makes an effort to keep his voice down, but there's no hiding that he's freaking out.

"She wasn't a fan," Jimin growls through gritted teeth. "A real ARMY would never attack us like that."

"Whatever. It's everywhere already," Jeongguk states the obvious.

"Yeah. It happened. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Jimin, this could ruin your career, ruin your relationship with ARMY!" Jeongguk gets a little too close to Jimin, not recognizing that the man is ready to explode. His eyes widen as Jimin pushes him several feet back.

"You think I don't know that! I do! I get it. But I was there because you wouldn't be! Caring for a woman that you don't care for! Whose life you crashed into with your wrecklessness! But she doesn't deserve any of this. So I don't care. Let it ruin my career. I don't care! As long as I can take care of her."

Chest heaving and eyes glistening with fury, Jimin stands in the midst of his kitchen, staring at the man who he has called his best friend for many years.

"Jimin hyung-"

Jimin levels him with a stare. "If you don't want to help then just get out."

Jeongguk puts up his hands defensively. "No, hyung, I do want to help. Tell me what I can do." Jeongguk's voice is small and quiet.

Jimin's shoulders relax a bit, and he runs his hands through his hair before he digs one into his pocket and retrieves his keys. He removes one and holds it out to the younger man.

"Tonight or in the morning will you go to her place and pack a bag? I'm not letting her leave here for the next few days." For a moment Jeongguk only stares at the key, dumbfounded as to why Jimin has it. "If you won't do it, I'll ask Tae." Jimin pulls the key back, wrapping it in his fingers.

"No, I got it," Jeongguk tells him and holds out his hand to try again.

"Fine. And tell the guys I'm not answering tonight so they can stop blowing up the fucking chat. We can talk about it tomorrow. Right now, I think she's a bit traumatized and making her comfortable for her sake and the baby's is my only priority."

"Sure." Jeongguk swallows. He can only imagine how well that's going to go down with Namjoon and the managers, but he can see that's not really something he needs to say right now. "I'll see you in the morning." He only receives a nod from Jimin before he sees himself out.

After a few deep breaths, Jimin proceeds with ordering dinner. He swipes away the group chat notifications. Just before he puts his phone away he gets a private text from Hoseok.

He's determined that will be the last he hears from the boys tonight and silences his phone before returning to your room with a glass of water.

"Hey, the doctor said no phone!" Jimin admonished you, snatching the device from your hands before you can react.

"Jimin, it's already everywhere," you tell him quietly as he turns your phone face down on the bedside table.

"I know. But it's really not our concern tonight." He picks up your hand and places the cool water glass against it, encouraging you to drink.

"Jimin, how can you say that?" you wonder after gulping down half the glass. He takes it from you and sets it on the table before sitting on the edge of the bed with an exasperated sigh.

"Becaaaause," he draws out the word dramatically. "There's nothing we can do tonight. And you're ill. That's my concern. When you're well, then we can worry about the rest of it."

You raise your hand up to touch his cheek. You don't understand it at first, but it's a more intimate gesture than you've ever shared before and it sends warmth through Jimin's chest. "Jimin, you don't have to pretend to be unbothered by this for my sake. This is serious."

Jimin smiles tiredly at you and places his hand over yours to hold you there. "You know what bothers me? That someone had the audacity to approach you because you were with me. That people start rumors at all because they feel they have the right to know what happens in other people's lives. I'm upset that they bothered you, and I'm sorry that it's because you were with me. I'm not sorry for being with you tonight when you needed me. I'm not sorry for seeking you out. I'm not sorry for being your friend. Let me make one thing very clear to you, Y/N." Jimin takes your hand from his cheek and holds it safely between both of his, then he looks into your eyes and holds your gaze. "The one thing I will never do in order to fix this is leave you behind. Whatever happens, you and Mochi are part of my family, even if the worst happens, and I have to leave BTS."

Your eyes widen and you suck in a gasp. "Jimin, you can't. I won't let you leave Bangtan. Especially not for us."

"You're not listening, Y/N. It's not up for discussion. But it doesn't matter because it won't come to that anyway. That's an absolutely worst case scenario and it isn't going to happen. So for the rest of the night, let's please not worry about it," he urges.

You're too tired to fight anymore, especially when he speaks such nonsense, so you nod your head and agree. While you wait for the food to arrive Jimin tries to think of things you two could do that wouldn't hurt you. Watching anything is out, as are any games that would require you to concentrate and think too much.

"Guess we'll just have to talk," he smiles brightly, folding his legs criss-cross on your bed. That's not a problem, since you and Jimin never seem to run out of things to talk about

"Sure. You can tell me about the shoot today," you smile back.

"Ugh, you would pick something boring to talk about like work." He rolls his eyes.

"Fine. I'm boring. Now tell me." You tap on this thigh impatiently.

"To be honest it was pretty terrible, and not just because I was worried about you all day. No offense."

"None taken. This week wasn't my concept." You can't help smiling smugly at the fact that the concept you told your coworker was lame had in fact turned out that way.

"Oh good. Then I don't feel bad. I prefer the episodes where we get to dress up," Jimin laughs, knowing he looks cute in any costume.

"Me too! I'm always the one finding a way to put you in hanbok," you admit and then blush.

"You think I look cute in hanbok." He smiles knowingly.

"You all look cute in hanbok," you grumble back.

"Yeah but you think I look cute in hanbok," he repeats with his flirtatious smile.

You're about to open your mouth to deny it when the doorbell rings for his delivery. "Oops, looks like food is here." You move to get off the bed but he gently pushes you back down.

"Stay here. I'll bring it to you."

After he returns, you only make it through about half your meal before you're too tired to chew. So tired even Mochi's movements won't keep you from getting at least a few hours of sleep.

"What are you doing?" you ask when Jimin comes back from taking away your food, wearing pajamas, and settles himself into a chair in the room.

"I'm staying here to watch over you," he says as if that were obvious.

"Uh, why?" You squint at him.

"Because you have a brain injury and I need to know if you suddenly stop breathing."

"You're so dramatic. I'll be fine, Jimin, it's not that serious," you insist with a roll of your eyes.

"I'm not taking the chance," he replies, almost happily.

"You can't sit in that chair all night, you'll hurt yourself."

"I'm fine."

"You're impossible. Just get in the bed."

Jimin's eyes widen at you. "What?"

"Cmon, get on the bed. You'll be close enough to know we're alright and not hurt your body in return." When he still doesn't move you pull the covers back to show him it's okay. Slowly he gets up from the chair and climbs onto the bed beside you. You turn out the light beside you and pull up the covers. "Comfy?"

"Mhm," he hums back nervously.

"Goodnight, Jimin," you say softly as you close your eyes.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight, Mochi," you say as you do every night, placing your hand over your tummy. It helps Jimin to shake off the nerves that suddenly grip him.

"Goodnight, Mochi," he smiles giddily.

Jimin finally feels at peace when he hears your light snores a minute later. The sound is so relaxing he manages to fall asleep only a few minutes after you.

How you wake up spooning is anyone's guess, but that's how Jeongguk finds you.

Actually, Jimin had awoken sometime earlier, but his semi-conscious mind was either too comfortable or too happy to find himself in that position, with one arm curled under his head and his other hand resting on your round belly, that once he was assured of your steady breathing he simply fell back asleep.

At least until Jeongguk comes barging into the bedroom, since neither of you would answer your phones or the door. He knows Jimin's door code so he simply lets himself in. He's not expecting to find you cuddling comfortably, but his eyes zero in immediately on Jimin's hand atop his baby.

"What the hell is going on?" Jeongguk demands loudly.

You're startled out of the best sleep you've had in weeks. You only have a second to register just how close Jimin is to you before he moves away, stretching himself awake.

"What's up, Guk?"

Jeongguk is flustered, but he was upset about something before he'd even entered the apartment. His eyes turn to you and your bed head.

"You can't raise my baby in that apartment!" He practically shouts at you.

"What?" You groan and rub the side of your head, which is already starting to throb.

"It's no wonder you fell down those stairs! And you think you're going to be able to manage with an infant? Are you out of your mind? And in that tiny place?" Jeongguk continues his rant loudly.

"Do you have to shout?" You whine, wishing you had enough hands to cover your eyes and ears at the same time. "How did you even find my apartment anyway?" You want to shoot a glare at Jimin, but you're too busy laying back down and covering your head with a pillow, which only makes that man smile fondly down at your figure.

"I got your stuff," Jeongguk informs you, dropping a bag stuffed with your belongings.

"Did you get the medicine and the blood pressure cuff?" Jimin asks. They were the top two things on the list that Jimin messaged to him last night.

"Yeah it's all in there." Jimin crawls off the bed to unzip the large duffle bag and finds them right on top. Then he goes to sit beside you and grabs your wrist so he can place the cuff on you.

Suddenly you sit up and look at Jeongguk suspiciously. "Did you go through my underwear drawer?"

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "Trust me I have no interest in your underwear or anything else in that drawer." Then he smirks knowingly, because yes he did see your vibrator.

"Fuck off," you mutter, but Jimin shushes you as he continues to watch the numbers on the medical device.

"You!" Jeongguk says with an accusing finger to the other man just before the machine beeps. "You need to get dressed. We have a meeting." Jimin turns his head to the younger man, eyes wide.

"Sorry, I can't go today. I have a sick patient." Jimin focuses on removing the cuff from your wrist. His fingers move gently against your smooth skin, soothing you even though he's the one who's worried.

"Yeah it's your 'patient' that we have to talk about," Jeongguk informs him, even though Jimin had already realized that much. It takes you a moment to catch up though.

"Oh." You'd slept so soundly that the events of last night had been completely forgotten, and you are concussed so that can't be doing you any favors, but now you remember. The fan. The pictures. The rumors. Of course it was going to spell trouble for Jimin, and by extension for all of BTS. Surely it would be the last strike for you.

Jimin merely smiles and pats your hand. "Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay."

He can't possibly believe that can he?

"Jimin, I know you don't wanna deal with this, but we really do have to go," Jeongguk urges. Jimin lets out a heavy sigh and nods his head, finally getting off the bed to go get dressed.

"How bad is it really?" You ask Jeongguk once Jimin is gone. Your legs swing over the edge of the bed, but you're a little dizzy when you try to stand and Jeongguk reaches out to catch you.

"It's pretty bad. But I'm sure once he denies it and puts some distance between you two then things will settle down and return to normal eventually."

You feel a tightness in your chest when he mentions putting distance between you. What about the baby? Distance between you and Jimin will also mean distance between you and Jeongguk. Back to Plan A.

"I guess my tiny apartment it is, then," you say quietly as you stoop to your bag in search of toiletries and fresh clothes.

"Oh." Jeongguk hadn't actually thought of that. He hasn't thought of how Jimin is the only reason he ever sees you. Jimin is always the one who seems to find a way. And if Jimin isn't there to give him a path to his child, how is he going to find one. "I'm sure we'll figure something out," Jeongguk adds, but his tone is anything but confident.

"It's fine, Jeongguk. We were always going to be alone. Just me and Mochi." You can't help sighing though when you think about what you're losing. How close you almost felt to having a family for your child.

"I don't just want to walk away, Y/N. Believe me. It just… might be hard for a while." Jeongguk's voice is low. You've always known his career was important to him. It was among the many reasons you didn't tell him in the first place. It was fine, you told yourself.

"Really, Jeongguk. We're okay on our own," you tell him, ready to drop this conversation and go to the bathroom.

"You're not going to be on your own, Y/N." Jimin appears suddenly in the doorway, looking down at your face. "I told you, everything will be fine."

You shake your head at him as tears well in your eyes. You never used to cry so much, so you think it must be the pregnancy hormones. You close the distance between you and wrap your arms around him as best you can. "Jimin, when you go to that meeting you do whatever you have to for yourself and for the group, okay? I'll be fine. I was always going to be fine."

Jimin embraces you and looks at you with a soft smile you don't see before kissing the crown of your head. "Stay here okay? Promise you won't leave. We'll have a lot to talk about when I get back. And if nothing else I don't want to worry about you getting hurt out there while you're still unwell." You nod silently into his chest, but that's not enough for him. "Promise me, Y/N. You'll be here when I come back."

"I promise I'll be here," you vow, sniffling as you pull away from him.

"Good. Hopefully I'll be back by lunch time. You should eat something and rest until then. Make yourself at home." Jimin walks to the living room and gathers his phone and his wallet before he and Jeongguk head for the door. "I'll see you in a little bit."

The two men hardly speak to each other the whole ride to HYBE. A car was sent for them to ensure they arrived without delay. While Jeongguk is lost in his thoughts over what you said, and the prospect of losing contact with his child, Jimin scrolls through Twitter trying to get a grasp on ARMY's reaction.

He'd never actually said that you were his girlfriend or that Mochi was his child. Many were quick to deny it on his behalf, arguing that Jimin would never keep such a secret and that you were probably just a friend or relative of his. Some part of his heart was gratified that his fans knew that was true. There were people who assumed the rumors to be true and criticized him for it. That was to be expected, but it seemed to Jimin to be a minority of voices. For each tweet condemning him and his actions, there were a dozen responses from people saying that he had a right to a life and to live it how he chose. Many tweets commented on how happy he had seemed recently and attributed that to his child that was to come, and were happy for anything that made him happy. After reading through a large quantity of responses he had to take a moment to remind himself that what he had been accused of was actually not true.

Then he paused to consider what the situation might look like right now if the truth were known. If people knew that it was Jeongguk's wild habits that had gotten you knocked up out of wedlock. With Jimin, people were willing to believe that you had kept the relationship a secret for some time; people were even wondering how long you'd been together. But no one would ever believe such a thing about Jeongguk. He's been caught with too many women too many times. To be a bit of a player was one thing, but to leave a woman--a staff member-- in such a position would certainly cause more of an uproar. It was a truth that could never be known.

Jimin didn't say a word until he and Jeongguk were shown into the board room. Not only were the other five members present with somber faces, but their manager Sejin was present, which was to be expected. The CEO and the investments manager are also there, letting Jimin know just how serious this is. When dating scandals had happened in the past it was usually the boys and their manager. Once or twice Hitman Bang had involved himself in things. But this is more firepower than he anticipated. He swallows thickly and enters the room to sit between Hoseok and Yoongi, while Jeongguk sits a few seats away on the outside of Namjoon.

"Good morning," Jimin says softly to all the stoic faces in the room.

"Jimin. Would you mind explaining what happened last night?" Sejin asked, only taking his seat after Jimin did.

Jimin takes a deep breath before he begins in a voice that's soft but steady. "I went to First Love Maternity Hospital to pick up Y/l/n Y/n."

"Why did you go get her?" Sejin interrupts.

"Because she got hurt yesterday morning. That's why she wasn't on set."

Sejin's head shakes. "Why did you go get her?"

Jimin's brow crinkles. Perhaps that's not an unreasonable question, but it sounds stupid to him. "Because Y/N and her baby are my responsibility. Because there's no one else." Sejin has no response to that and motions for Jimin to continue. "As we were leaving the hospital someone recognized me and followed us to the parking lot. They got almost close enough to touch Y/N. She pressed questions about who Y/N was to me and if the baby was mine as she persistently followed us to my car and took pictures of us."

"We're working on getting the pictures removed." Jimin merely nods. "Where is Y/l/n Y/n right now?"

"In my apartment, where I intend for her to stay at least until she gives birth," Jimin replies calmly, folding his hands on top of the table.

"Jimin, we have damage control to do. She'll have to be sent away," the CEO cuts in.

"No. The best damage control is to come clean. Tell the fans myself and accept the consequences. I trust ARMY. They'll be able to accept it and move on. But if Y/N goes, I will go with her." There's no doubt, no shake in Jimin's voice.

"Why?" Sejin demands.

"Because she's my girlfriend and that's my baby."

"Jimin." Jeongguk's voice is a warning.

"We've been in a secret relationship for two years," Jimin says blankly.

Namjoon scoffs from several feet away while most of the other members remain motionless. "Why lie?"

"Because it's against company policy for staff to have relationships with us. Y/N is great at her job and she loves it. I couldn't take it away from her."

Namjoon grits his teeth. "No! Why lie to all of us, right now. Everyone in this room knows that's not true."

"Because!" Jimin slams his hand on the table, losing his composure for the first time. "Because this lie is better than the truth. Because I can accept the consequences of the choices I make. Because I'm not a fucking child who plays with other people's lives and doesn't think ahead." Namjoon is taken aback by being yelled at by Jimin, but the young member turns to his manager. "I know that this will be rough. But I've looked through the response already. I believe we could weather this. And if I'm wrong, then I'll leave the company. I'll always do what's best for all of bangtan. But I know that BTS can survive without me."

"Jimin-"

"It's fine, Hobi hyung. Bangtan is forever, even if I'm not on stage with you."

"Jimin," the manager speaks softly to soothe the tension. "This is a very serious decision. Before we can make it, I need you to tell me what the truth is. What is this lie meant to cover up?"

Jimin takes a deep breath, but he seems to be the only member breathing. "The fact that Y/N, a HYBE employee, was seduced and knocked up by a member of BTS, but it wasn't me."

Sejin's eyes widen as they dart around the seven boys. "Who?"

The seconds seem to drag for minutes as he looks at each member, trying to detect the look of guilt, but almost all of them have their eyes on their laps, all except Jimin. Finally, Jeongguk raises his hand.

"It was me."

Sejin wears a look that says of course it was. Sejin pinches the bridge of his nose. "When?"

"In the hotel. After we filmed staycation," Jeongguk says plainly.

"That little-"

"No." Jeongguk cuts off Sejin's comment before he can say something to send Jimin lunging over the table. "I don't have any kind of feelings or relationship with Y/N." Jeongguk looks pointedly at Jimin. "But she is the mother of my child, and that isn't her fault either. I seduced her in my hotel room when I knew she'd been drinking. I made… several bad decisions. I won't let anyone blame her for that."

Namjoon and Jimin both look softly at Jeongguk, but he just shakes his head. It was about time he said the truth and took responsibility, as he should have done all along.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jimin is right," the investments manager speaks up out of the blue.

"Why?" Asks the CEO.

"Jimin having a secret relationship to protect someone who's been a part of something the fans love, choosing to keep the baby, showing he's a supportive partner and father… all of that will play well with the fans. Jimin has always gotten a bit of hate anyway, and we've been fine."

"Thanks for adding that," Jimin mumbles.

"As long as we can prove that to any investors who are mostly global and not just Korean anymore, we'll be okay." The manager shrugs. "This is nothing to a European or American investor. Jeongguk taking advantage of an employee? That's an entirely different nightmare. Who would risk working with a company like that?"

Jeongguk bows his head, partially to hide the tears from his shame. Even when Jimin had been on his case it wasn't so harsh; to hear the situation described that way made him feel terrible. Yet he couldn't deny it. He could only go along. Not for the sake of his reputation, but for the sake of his entire company. He'd been naive about everything, about his actions, about the consequences he thought Jimin would have to bear for him. Now he can see what he would truly lose: his child.

"That's settled then. Jimin will confirm his relationship with Y/N live, alone, within the next 24 hours," the CEO instructs sternly before he rises from his seat and moves toward the door, indicating that the discussion is over. Everyone stands while he exits.

"Everyone is excused from the practice schedule for the rest of the day to process this new state of affairs. Jimin, make sure you're ready when you make the announcement. You have to make the people think you are in love with the girl. If the comments are bad, you don't have to linger for too long, just say your piece and leave. Y/N is not to appear." Sejin takes a deep breath and tries to think of any other instructions. "I'll be sending you an updated schedule but everyone should be in bed early. I expect you to be here at 5 tomorrow morning, and every morning after that."

The boys only groan internally as he leaves them alone.

"That was a risky fucking move, kid," Yoongi comments to Jimin.

Jimin lets a disbelieving smile spread across his face. "If you think that was crazy just imagine how it will be explaining it to Y/N."

Taehyung chuckles. "Can I come watch? I mean help?" Hoseok laughs hysterically.

"I'll come too."

"Jeongguk?"

"Yeah," he mumbles back. He plans to go home and get drunker than he's ever been before, so Jimin's is on the way.

"Fuck it. I wanna talk to Y/N, too," Jin adds as everyone begins to move toward the exit.

"Are we going to ignore that Jimin almost blew up the whole group, for Y/N?" Their leader's voice breaks over all of them as they've turned their backs.

Jimin turns back to face him, making his way through the other members. He steps forward until he's within a foot of the much larger man, one he's looked up to for so many years.

"I didn't do it for Y/N! Or for myself! When are you going to get that? That Bangtan is more than BTS. That Bangtan is about the bonds we have with each other? That your kids are my family! And if one of them was at risk of slipping away from us I would move heaven and earth, risk my reputation, my career and even my personal life in order to keep them. I'd give whatever it takes! Because Bangtan isn't foreign investments, or record sales, or sold out stadiums. It's us as a family or it's nothing at all. And you used to know that, Namjoon. We were only seven but now-" Jimin holds back his frustration. For some reason he senses he's talking to a wall, and if he keeps going it won't solve anything, so instead he walks away. To his great comfort, five other members follow him.

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selfcontrol-idkher · 3 years

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Part 18: gay

Pairing: Jimin x Jungkook

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#feedback #jimin smau #bts smau #jungkook smua #jungkook social media au #jimin social media au #jikook social media au #jikook #jimin x jungkook #bts social media au

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wildsphere · 2 years

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Beberapa kali terlintas di kepala aku, kapan ya dia ngerasa ‘lost the sparks’? kapan ya momen dia lagi sama aku dan langsung mikir

“aku mau mutusin dia”

kapan ya?

apa waktu aku merengek karena mengejek dia yang beberapa kali ninggalin aku kehujanan? apa waktu aku ketawa lepas sampai bikin dia risih? apa waktu aku terdiam bt waktu aku ngerasa dia ga paham maksud aku? atau waktu aku pegang tangan dia di mall terus dia lepasin?

kapan ya? ingin hadir di momen itu, karena aku yakin pikiran tentang itu ga tiba-tiba muncul

sekarang aku ngerasa marah, banget.

usaha aku gerak pelan berbulan-bulan dihancurin dengan mudahnya wkwkw kamu tau ga? beberapa bulan dari kamu mutusin aku hari aku berat dan ga enak banget, aku bikin sedih beberapa orang, aku ngecewain orang yang aku sayang, aku ngerasa sendiri. mau seribut apapun aku diruangan rasanya sunyi, seenak apapun makanan yang aku makan rasanya hambar, sahabat-sahabat aku udah semampu mereka buat selalu hadir di hari hari aku, nemanin aku, sosok-sosok yang aku abaikan dan yang ga aku dengariin waktu aku masih sama kamu ternyata masih nerima aku.

Pernah liat ga patung yang hati nya bolong, itu percis yang aku rasain, kadang aku pengen cerita, kadang aku pengen diam aja di kamar, kadang aku nangis seharian, hari hari itu ga enak. ga nyangka harus ngelewatin hari kaya gtu lagi wkwkwk lebih ga nyangka lagi karena kamu

sosok yang pernah bilang “I’ll give you the worrld if I could” wkwkwkw good old days, now you give me headache man.

lalu perlahan hari aku baik, aku nemukan hari yang baik tanpa kamu, hari yang buruk tanpa kamu, dan hari yang biasa aja tanpa kamu, perlahan hari aku ga ada nyebut nyebut nama kamu lagi. sesekali kamu hadir di pikiran aku cuman ga lagi kebawa perasaan marahh atau sedih.

baru beberapa langkah aku mulai chapter hidup aku tanpa kamu, nutup buku kamu dengan rapih, kamu tiba tiba datang lagi bawa ‘harapan’

“aku masih sayang sama kamu”

tapi

((wkwkwkwkw kata tapi emang paling hebat ya buat ngancurin hati orang))

“tapi aku ga yakin”

“aku bingung”

“teman teman aku gamau denger nama kamu lagi”

oh poor kiki, kamu seharusnya pergi di detik itu juga.

“aku mau kita masih temenan, aku mau dengerin cerita kamu, keluh kesah kamu, aku pengen jadi bahu buat kamu bersandar”

pengen nampol diri sendiri yang bilang “oke yaudah” WKWKWKW. Apakah kalian berteman dengan baik jadinya? oh tentu saja tidak

disakitin dengan pelan, he know exactly HOW to hurt you and he did that anyway, repeatedly. leave you on read for few times wow badut banget yaaa tapi giliran dia yang ngajak langsung di oke in tanpa tapi.

Lucu ya dipermainkan gini, lebih lucu lagi waktu nurut dia bilang gausah update story kemana mana sama dia nanti temannya lihat :”)

aku disembunyiin ya

wkwkwwk tau deh, makasih udah ngacak ngacak hati aku lagi buat beberapa minggu ini lagi, aku ga pengen lagi balikan sama kamu, ga pengen kita ngulang yang baik baiknya dulu, engga, leave them there, udah biarin semua berlalu udah, aku cuman pengen bisa balik ke kehidupan aku tanpa kamu yang damai tentram aman sentosa, jangan balik lagi, jangan jatuhin aku lagi, aku udah ikhlas, aku ga dendam lagi, aku toxic sesuai yang kamu bilang aku gabaik dan aku udah sadar, tapi tolong jangan datang lagi semau kamu. tinggalin aku sendiri. aku gamampu cerita ke siapa siapa lagi, rasanya dalam hati aku udah teriak bodoh berkali kali ke aku, i keep it all to myself. di jalan ketemu ibu ibu jualan koran nangis aku makin kenceng, im nothing compares to her, aku lemah, aku bukan sosok yang bisa di liat di tv tv diputusin pacarnya trus comeback stronger, engga itu bukan aku, semua hal ga enak ini bikin aku makin lemah bukan kuat, rasanya makin sepi, dibaikin dikit sama orang pikirannya udah kemana mana

“ah paling awal doang”

“love bombing ni yee”

“wkwkkwkw sorry w too much to handle”

“kalau review x w sih w freak abiss”

“pret pret”

yaaa smua itu secara memborbardir pikiran aku wktu dekat sama siapapun

udah ya zio? tolong, aku capek, kalau aku dikasih kesempatan buat lupain semua hal tentang kamu, hari hari baik kita, aku ga mikir panjang aku sangat mau, semua hal itu sementra, sakit nya masih aku bawa sampai sekarang.

aku harap kamu gatau rasanya disakitin kaya gini. i really do.

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jessjasmine · 3 years

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Sy suka buat surprise kat kwn2.seboleh2nya sy usaha sgt bt sesuatu dlm btuk apa jua utk bg kejutan pd mereka. Tp syg x smua terima kejutan kita. Ada yg akn berkeras xnk. Menolak mcm2 alasan. Tahu x yg mberi tu dia dh angp awk antara org2 istimewa dlm hidup dia sbb tu dia bg.nk pos x bg nk htr xboleh😔Tp itula ade yg berakhir dgn salah fhm kdg2😢sedih terkilan juga😔nasihat sis jgn kecewakn org yg mghargai anda. Terima jela wpun anda tau @ x dia nk bt kejutan. Brg tu nk ke xnk ke simpan je. Jgn hampakn org yg mghargai anda sebab satu masa anda mgkin akn kehilangan perhatian dr nya bila dia menjauh...😊 https://www.instagram.com/p/CPQmL51n7X18ra-50kjT2mOKbXJb0ykbfmpMVw0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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muniimyg · 1 year

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22 | maybe

series m.list

note: hi 🥹 it’s been a while :o how are you guys? sorry this update took so long 🤡 i was on vacation and jus got home yesterday... trying to catch up with my personal life and resetting my room in time for school has been tiring! but ,, i’m back and will be updating again soon <3 here is the promised fluff and “angst” if you’re a CRYBABY 🫵 thank u for being so patient and wishing me a nice break ✨ i can’t wait for more of this story to unfold because as you know… we are near the end 🫣💓 ps: this ch is unedited 😤 i jus wanted to post it nd get it OUT so we can carry on gawd daYuMmm..

taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “your universe” // please DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!

taglist: @yukiehyukie @tarahardcore @bbsantc @jeonqkooks-main @whoa-jo @ellesalazar @exhibitachol @pamzn @floweryjeons @boraength @4ksj @joonsjuice @taegijns @avtrns @taegix94 @bloopkook @jihopesjoint @firesighgirl @vantxx95 @damn-u-min-yoongi @yoongukie-ff @hopeworldjimin @thisisaburnphone @pb-n-juju @xjiminsthighsx @miss-rainy-days @percyjacksonlovesannabethchase @whitefoxgirl @slutforheeseung

No one ever talks about how difficult it is to unlearn feelings of rejection.

To begin with, the entire concept is so ridiculous! it practically comes off as insincere, stupid, and careless. Yet, it’s so rare to experience. Usually, rejection is rejection. No means no. So how could it be shocking for you to be struggling right now? From being someone who was so familiar with rejection to now struggling to accept the love you deserve; it’s hard.

But Yoongi makes it easy.

Ever since the talk between you two, he has shown over and over again that he heard you, he respects you, and most importantly he understands you. Every day, every handhold and tight hug was a step closer to loving again. Obviously easier said than done, you’re thankful that the time between you two makes things better.

Time with him.

With Yoongi, time seems to heal.

While you’re grateful for the effort and complete change in atmosphere between you and Yoongi, you know deep down that his actions would have meant nothing if he wasn’t constantly in motion investing his time with you. Texting you, calling when he can, showing up early, and leaving late… They all play such a huge part in convincing you that he cares. He’s here now and he’ll want you for as long as you’ll have him.

To have him the way you do now… Well, it simply doesn’t feel real.

Every minute spent with him, every smile he dedicates to you, and every laugh shared in between—it creates a stronger bond between you two. As of now, time spent with Yoongi has evolved to be routine and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tuesday is your busiest and earliest day.

It begins with an early 7:30AM class and a schedule packed with the class until 5:30PM, then you attend practicum and club meetings that run as late as 9:45PM. Apart from that, it’s also your laundry day and usually the time your favourite shows release new episodes.

It’s always just been like this.

Yoongi, for some reason, has recently taken it upon himself to be a part of your busy Tuesdays. He knows how easily grumpy you become when you feel overwhelmed. You aren’t too sure exactly why, when, or how he began to show up outside of your 7:30AM lecture building with a cup of freshly brewed coffee; he just did.

How could you complain?

Even if his place is right in front of your lecture, waking up to meet with you for a few minutes is such an inconvenience and a waste of good sleep. The fact that he makes an effort to get up, brew you coffee, and sleepily meet with you… It makes your heart glow.

It’s safe to say that the coffee he brings you does more than wake you up. It wakes your feelings up and serves as a constant reminder of his care. Sleepily, he would hold the cup of coffee above your head and pucker up his lips. Cheekily and sleepily, Yoongi is always ready to tease you.

It’s funny because his eyes would be closed half of the time. Regardless, you would lean in and let his soft lips kiss your puffy morning cheeks. After he gives you a kiss and your coffee, he’ll hold the door open for you to head in. Waving him goodbye, Yoongi continues with his day and looks forward to catching up with you later.

However, this Tuesday is different.

Tuesday Morning Lecture: Class Cancellation.

Good morning students! This email was meant to be sent last night but unfortunately was scheduled inaccurately. My apologies!

Notes will be provided for the module and extra time will be set aside next week for review and questions.

Best regards!

You squeal.

Your classes never get canceled! You also slept later than usual last night so this is truly a blessing. Pulling your covers above your head, you drift back to sleep and completely forget to text Yoongi about the change of plans.

As you continue sleeping, Yoongi drags himself out of bed.

He gets himself ready and brews your coffee. Then, he heads out the door and stands outside in the cold spring air waiting for you. He waits.

And waits.

And waits even more.

Yoongi waits until you’re officially late.

Yoongi waits until you don’t show up.

A few days ago, you two talked about your feelings regarding his efforts. Everything since that talk has been going great! You two were communicating better and are even a little closer than before. Therefore, it confuses Yoongi as to why you aren’t here right now with no notice. He goes back home and sets your coffee on his kitchen counter. Taking out his phone, he doesn’t even bother to text you.

He calls you right away.

Half awake, you pick up.

“H-hello?”

Yoongi feels relieved you answered but can’t help but feel protective and entitled to your whereabouts. “Are you sick?”

“... W-what?”

“Are you mad at me?” Yoongi paces back and forth, feeling a little nervous. He runs back to his last few encounters with you and struggles to pinpoint where he could have fucked up.

“Huh?”

“Are you avoiding me?”

Once you register it’s Yoongi’s voice and the worrisome tone attached to his words, you force yourself to sit up from your bed. Checking the time, you gasp as you connect the dots.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, aki… I fell asleep after I read my class cancelation notice and forgot to text you.”

Yoongi sighs.

“Okay.”

You groan. “Aki…”

“Mhmm?”

“I’m really sorry… I should’ve remembered. I was just so tired and it slipped my mind.” Feeling guilty, you can’t help but feel upset with yourself. Yoongi didn’t deserve this!

“Okay.”

“Don’t be mad,” you beg him. “Please..”

“I’m not mad. Who said I’m mad?” Yoongi huffs. His words are sharp and his tone feels so superficial. It’s like he’s just saying things for the sake of saying them and not because it’s what he truly feels.

In all honesty, he’s not mad.

Why should he be? He feels a little disappointed but that’s it. It’s just an innocent misunderstanding and it would be unfair to you if he blamed it all on you. It’s not that deep…

You sigh, taking his word for it. “I have the morning off.. Do you want to study?”

He bites his tongue.

He doesn’t want to study. He wants to spend time with you for no reason even if you practically just stood him up.

“I don’t want to study.”

“That’s fair. Oh, wait! Never mind, don’t you have class in an hour or so? Just rest up until then. I’ll call you again when I’m more awake… Sorry, aki.”

Yoongi nods out of habit.

He can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Seeing you all sleepy and cold, needy for his coffee and hugs… Well, it was something he looked forward to every morning. Despite all these arising feelings, he manages to mumble, “you better,” as a response. You laugh sweetly and thank him.

“Have a good day, aki.” You sing sweetly.

“Ace?”

“Mhmm?”

Yoongi feels a lump in his throat form. He swallows it away and shyly reaches for reassurance.

“Call me later?”

“I will, silly. Goodnight,” you promise. “Sorry again.”

“It’s okay,” he tells you. “... And good morning, ace. I miss you.”

“Good morning, aki,” you yawn before ending the call. “I miss you too.”

Yoongi bumps into you on his way out of his 2PM lecture.

You’re laughing alongside some of the swimmers that tried to bid on you. He glares at the sight of them crowding over you and the way that Jungkook is standing on the sideline, shoving his face with a bag of cotton candy.

He approaches Jungkook first.

“What the fuck is that?” Yoongi growls.

With a mouth full of blue cotton candy, Jungkook smiles. “Swimmers gave me cotton candy for bringing ___ to our practice today.”

Yoongi hisses at Jungkook. “Thanks for trading our friendship for cotton candy.”

It’s not like he saw this coming. Jungkook is an easy guy to win over. Loyalty isn’t his strongest forum…

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“As if she’d ever get over you. You can’t possibly be this insecure! Actually, I take that back. Let me see your abs right now so I can accurately measure how insecure you should be—”

Then, Jungkook reaches for the hem of Yoongi’s crewneck and tries to lift it up. Yoongi shoves the blue sugar-stained hands away and glares at Jungkook angrier than ever. Yoongi’s darting eyes make Jungkook feel uneasy.

It totally ruins his happy vibe.

“Geez… What crawled up your ass today?” Jungkook asks, disliking Yoongi’s attitude.

Yoongi has always been grumpy and shy but he has never been so moody and lost. It’s like he’s a puppy that just got kicked.. Jungkook feels bad for him.

Yoongi’s eyebrows knit together in confusion and ignores his friend’s question. He watches you nod politely at the swimmers. You look so pretty today. He should’ve seen you first—not them.

“She has class until 5:30PM on Tuesdays.. What’s she doing here with you?”

“A few of the education department profs have a conference a few cities away. Her entire Tuesday and Wednesday classes are empty this week! Except for her 7:30AM one today but apparently that got canceled. Didn’t she tell you?” Jungkook asks Yoongi rather dumbfounded. “Stop looking at me like you want to kill me.. I’m not the one that’s flirting with your girlfriend—”

“I’ll kill you, you little brat—”

“Yoongi!”

Your voice calling his name makes him gulp. He turns and sees you breaking through the crowd of swimmers and practically running to him. You giggle as you crash into him and greet him with a hug.

He wraps his arms around you and hugs you tight. Yoongi wishes for this moment to last forever.

When you pull away, you smile at him brightly. “I was about to surprise and meet you at your lecture but I bumped into Jungkook and he asked me to watch his practice—”

“Your classes are canceled until Wednesday?”

“Oh? Yeah. I mentioned it a few days ago,” you tell him. “... I think?”

“You think?”

“I let Jungkook know!” you defend, knowing he’ll be a little upset. Honestly, these past few days have been so hectic… It’s not surprising that this slipped your mind too.

Yoongi pouts. “But you didn’t let me know.”

Your heart aches. You feel so bad.

“I’m sorry,” you hold his hand and squeeze them. “I should have left his practice earlier to catch up with you. I promised a friend a late lunch today so I’m going to meet up with her now.. I was just on my way. I’ll call you later though.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

With that, Yoongi feels empty when you let go of his hand and wave goodbye. You walk in the opposite direction and soon enough, he’s left alone with Jungkook.

“___ looks pretty today,” Jungkook comments.

“I know,” Yoongi groans. He turns to see the other swimmers watching you walk away as well. He instantly feels annoyed. “I fucking hate this.”

Later that night, you forget to call.

The day just went by so fast and by the time you get home, you knock out. It’s a little funny since you spent the morning sleeping in and now you’re asleep before 9PM.

Yoongi stays awake until 2:30AM waiting for your call.

He falls asleep feeling more and more anxious and annoyed.. It doesn’t last long though because he remembers how pretty you were as you ran to him this afternoon. How brightly you smiled and how tight you hugged him. It’s okay if you break a few promises… As long as were his… Everything should be okay.

And then it hits him.

You aren’t his yet.

The next day, you wake up to a bunch of texts from Yoongi. All updating you about his day and random thoughts that had popped up. You find it touching how he’s truly trying to be more communicative and feel like a complete asshole for falling short since yesterday.

Today, you hope to do better.

Today, you will do better.

You begin today with calling him. He answers after the third ring.

“Yoongi…”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “You forgot to call. You’re sorry. It’s okay. I’m not mad.”

You sigh and take a deep breath. “I liked your texts… They were really cute. Thanks for sending them.”

Yoongi can’t help but half-smile. He’s getting dressed for the day and your call surely made him feel relief from his overwhelming thoughts last night.

“It’s whatever. You never replied by the way…”

“I’m on a call with you right now,” you snicker, finding his sulking attitude to be quite cute. “Wow, I never knew you were this needy! To think you come off as a bad boy? Crazy…”

Your realization hits you hard. He’s always been a softie deep down, of course, you knew that… But this… This is a whole other level.

However, he ignores your comment and decides to prioritize his pride. Yes, he was needy and clingy when it comes to you… But if you already know, there’s no need to re-establish it.

“I know you’re probably busy today too so I’ll let you go… And I only updated you because I know you’d like it.”

“Awh,” you whine at his goodbye. “Don’t go. Don’t sulk. Don’t act like you don’t miss me.”

“I do miss you,” he confesses.

Your heart skips a beat.

“Where are you right now?” you ask him, recalling on your own that he should be free today.

“Home.. But I’m probably going to head to the gym. Jungkook’s been commenting on my abs lately and now I’m starting to be a little self-conscious.” A forced laugh escapes Yoongi’s lips. “Anyways, bye. Have a good day. Don’t call me… Maybe you’ll remember to do things you’re not supposed to do.”

In response, you gasp. “Stop it! Stay home. I’m coming over.”

“Why?”

“I miss you, duh.”

This time, Yoongi’s heart skips a beat.

“That so?”

“Yes, it is so. Don’t leave, okay? I’m coming over,” you practically nag. “… And fuck Jungkook.”

“No thanks.”

“Oh, it’s you... What do you want?” he crosses his arms and leans against his door. Downplaying his excitement is the best solution he’s found for this interaction. His greeting is his way of masking his pain.

He feels like he hasn’t seen you in forever when the truth is; it’s only been a day or two.

You roll your eyes and push past him, carrying a bag of groceries and your books. You set them on his kitchen island and begin to unpack.

“I brought over some of my lesson plan prep for next week. I think my kids will love our upcoming themes! Like, my partner and I planned a Disney theme at first but she suggested we do something like—”

Your words are cut off by Yoongi resting his chin on your shoulders and wrapping his arms around you. Hugging you from behind, he takes in the scent of your just-washed hair and nuzzles into your neck.

“Missed you.”

You like the way his body feels against yours. Heavy and comforting, you feel so safe and happy to be with him. You let him hold you and stay silent for a moment.

“Are you upset with me? I really didn’t mean to be such a lousy friend—”

“Girlfriend.”

“What?” you laugh as he breaks away from you.

He nods, holding your hands together and kissing them. With puppy eyes, he begs. “You need to make it up to me. Do you know how much sleep I’ve lost because of you? How sick to my stomach I’ve been without you? How neglected I’ve been feeling? Ugh, this is the least you can do.”

Yoongi never fails to amuse you. You lean back, playing along to his mood. “Oh my! How could I do such a thing to this sweet angel kitty face,” you tease, reaching for his cheeks and squishing them together. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Let me be your boyfriend,” he says through pucker lips. Your eyes widen and he takes your surprised reaction as a good sign. In a way, you look excited. It’s like he can feel your heart beating fast.

Before he continues, he gives you a minute to compose yourself. Yoongi then tilts his head at you and pouts. “___, I’m asking and confessing to you for the second time. This is it. I want to be yours. I want to miscommunicate, get upset, makeup, and be happy with you.”

Yoongi feels like every part of him is on fire. He’s so nervous and yet so foolishly confident. Time away from you made things so clear. He can’t do it! He can’t be away from you. He needs you. He wants you. He likes you so much… What else could he do but ask for you to his?

“Maybe.”

His mouth drops. “Maybe?”

“It’s not a no,” you laugh, pushing away from him and continuing to unpack as if he didn’t just cash in his second try. As if… As if he didn’t just put his heart out on the line again.

“It’s not exactly a yes either,” he counterpoints, shifting to face you. “___, be serious. What’s your answer?”

You look at him lovingly, knowing damn well that the answer isn’t what he wants to hear right now. You want to say yes. You want to give in so badly and just be happy together… But a part of you feels like it’s too early and too easy. Yoongi’s rejections made you go through so much and even if this isn’t about revenge—it’s a good lesson and journey to go through.

At the end of the day, Min Yoongi has always been dreamy.

To have him the way you do now… It’s a dream you don’t want to wake up from. So, you stay sleepy.

You press snooze.

#yoongi fic #yoongi fluff #suga fluff #bts suga fic #bts fic #bts smau #yoongi smua #yoongi scenario #yoongi x yn

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penaimaji · 6 years

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Adek kecil

Parah parah kalo punya adek kecil koleris, parah~ rasa rasanya seperti melihat diriku sendiri dimasa kecil wkwk. Kaffa, adekku yang paling kecil. Lucu sih, nggemesin, tapi kalo udah marah gilak kayak monster. Namanya anak anak ya, wajar kalo ngeselin dan bawel. Mending mana adek kecil yang bandel apa adek kecil yang krik krik gabisa diajak main atau becanda? Kita ngelucu dia diem aja, diajak bicara juga diem aja, kan bt y wk.

Si kaffa sekolah di tk perumahan dekat rumah. Ceritanya akunih yang nganterin dia ke sekolah. Dia minta ditungguin, ya heran aja, manja banget. Biasanya kalo sama mama ditinggal juga gapapa. Yawes demi adek tertjintah :3 aku rela deh 'menunggu'. Sebelum masuk, si kaffa minta beli jajan.

Kaffa : mbak isan, aku beli jajan ya

Aku : mau beli apa?

Kaffa : (nunjuk gorengan sosis2 dan sejenisnya)

Aku : eh gausah, kan kamu batuk. Beli susu aja ya

Kaffa : aku maunya sosis mbaaak

Aku : susu ini aja ya, kan kamu suka susu. Nanti mbak isan belikan lagi di indomaret (jurus ampuh mengelabuhi si kaffa adalah ngajak dia ke indomaret😂)

Kaffa : iya wes

Bel masuk bunyi. Kebetulan adek adek tk mengawali kegiatannya dengan senam pagi sama bu gulu *unch. Setelah itu, mereka jalan sehat muterin komplek perumahan. Aku ikutan deh, seneng liat anak2 kecil gitu kayak gapunya beban hidup. Ehh pas jalan ama bu guru kan disuruh baris duadua, tapi mereka tu enggak, susah banget disuruh baris. Gilaaaak riweuh banget, keruyukan gitu kayak anak ayam ckck. Emang kudu ekstra sabar, gabole ngamuk2 ke anak2 kecil, kasian ntar mereka kabur smua ahah.

Setelah jalan sehat selesai, tetiba kaffa nyetop aku masuk ke gerbang kecil sekolahnya...

Kaffa : mbak, ini sudah selesai kok. Mbak pulang aja

Dia lari dan masuk, aku bengong. Mikir. Hah? Gue sempet heran gitu, agak aneh. Kok dia tibatiba nyuruh pulang? Lah kalo semisal udah waktunya pulang, dia kan juga ikut pulang bareng aku-_- akhirnya aku masuk ajatuh, ngikutin dia. Eeeeeh tercyduk. Ternyata dia lari ke arah ibu2 yg jualan sosis itu.

Aku : lho fah, kamu ngapain disini?

Kaffa : lho mbak isan pulang aja. Gakpapa kok mbak, mbak isan sudah boleh pulang

Klik. Seketika aku paham 'kenapa dia nyuruh aku pulang'. Sumpah aku nahan ketawa, ga habis pikir. Si koleris kecil itu berusaha buat ngibulin kakaknya-_- busetdah itu kriwul anak siapa cobaa?? Aku ngakak ga berhenti2 liat kelakuan dia. Bisaaaaaaa gitu ya akalnya, buat dapetin apa yang dia mau. Benar-benarrrr..

#story #insstory #adik #adikkakak #koleris

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virtualbyvj · 5 years

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Sebut saja di JN. Dia student gw, dapet offer di University of the Arts London... anaknya cuek, gak ribet, cool, rambutnya pedek banget sepintas kayak cowok padahal cewek. Abis dapet offer, dia bayar deposit, terus langsung nanya2 soal persyaratan visa, yang diantaranya harus test TB. Mamanya gercep banget, dia yang paling awal ngumpulin test TB ke gw buat syarat visa. Dia termasuk student yang CAS ( Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies ) nya cepet dari kampus. CAS nya keluar dari awal Juli. CAS tuh buat bikin visa student. Brati dia udh boleh bikin visa dongs....

Tapi gw dapet kabar dari mamanya.

Kalo dia sakit. Thalasemia ( sumber mbah gugel : Thalasemia adalah kelainan darah bawaan yang ditandai oleh kurangnya protein pembawa oksigen (hemoglobin) dan jumlah sel darah merah dalam tubuh yang kurang dari normal ) dan punya komplikasi autoimmune hemolitic ( sumber jurnalpenyakitdalam.ui.ac.id : merupakan salah satu penyakit imunologi didapat yang mana eritrosit pasien diserang oleh autoantibodi yang diproduksi sistem imun tubuh pasien sendiri).

KAGEETTT BANGETT! Di kabarin pas pertengahan Juli. Lantas si JN harus menjalani semacam treatment pengobatan di SG dan baru bs balik ke jakarta minggu lalu buat bikin visa.

Gw mulai doain dia, Tuhan kasian banget ini anak mo kuliah jauh dari rumah pke segala sakit.

Bulan ini berat banget orderan visa gak berenti2 karena rata2 student bakal berangkat sm orang tua dan minta tolong diurusin juga visanya. Including JN , mama, papa & adiknya.

Gw nginput punya mereka smua daaaann ternyataaa gw salah nginput email JN buat apply visa ( sedangkan segala confirm kalo udh payment & booking appointment interview bakalan masuk ke email itu ). Ketar ketir bingung hrs ngapain, tlp temen di VFS malem2 daannn email gak bs di ganti 🙃 good job Jr!

Gw cuman bs doa dan mikir begimana nih kalo semisal dari VFS bakalan krm email2 penting after interview dan gw gatau karena itu email typo! Huh! ( Mama dan Oma seakan tau kalo gw udh mo gila, gw di tlp terus di kasih support ) ah Tuhan Yesus emang baik, Dia krm orang2 baik buat support gw.

Ya sudah masuk interview gw ganti rugi 190.000 buat appointment yg tak ada buktinya itu ( buktinya masuk ke email yg salah ��)

Ketemuanlah kita di VFS. Dia terlihat tembem ternyata itu pengaruh obat, dan badanya yah turun beberapa kg kata dia 😔☹️

Gw blg ke dia “Cepet sembuh yah, di sana jangan sakit karena mama jauh” dia jawab sambil nyengir2 “ iyah Miss, aku udh blg mama aku gak bakalan sakit di sana mama aja yg lebay, aku udh blg gak usah temenin lama2 lah, aku bisa kok” ....

Cumen bs senyum kecut dalam hati sambil doa minta Tuhan Yesus tolong ini anak.

JN sekeluarga pke service priority buat visanya bs keluar 5 hari kerja. Tentunya mehong ye per orang kudu tambahin 4.180.000 untuk itu. Mereka pke priority karena JN harus balik lg ke SG buat treatment sblm ke UK.

Udh nih harusnya visa dia keluar kemaren hari kamis, punya mama papa dan adiknya udh keluar soalnya. Gw panik mampus dari kemarin. Dia flight ke SG hari ini jam 5 sore.

Dan kemaren gw beranikan diri wa ke mamanya buat ngabarin dan say sorry karena visanya blm keluar. Takut setengah mampus. Tapi doa gak berenti. Dalam hati dari kmaren sore udh ada yang ingetin “ Jr udh tenang aja besok ada kok visanya JN “

Bulan ini banyak nangis karena ada aja masalah terkait visa2 orang2 ini. Tapi ini smua ngajarin gw tetep berserah.

Tadi pagi dari kantor gw udh buru2 ke VFS buat temenin student lain yg hrs interview terus, Pak XYZ petugas vfs keluar jalan menuju gw dan kasih paspor 3 biji. Dan PUJI TUHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN diantara 3 itu ada paspor dan visa punya JN. Gilak sih seneng banget kek dapat duit!!! Gw seneng visanya keluar, gw seneng dia bs pergi berobat sblm sekolah. Pasti dia bisa sembuh.

Hal ini ngajarin bahwa pertolongan Tuhan gak pernah telat. Selalu tepat waktu, manusia kadang khawatir dan gak sabaran kapan kelarnyaaa ini masalah. Tapi tuh setiap masalah pasti datang berikut dengan jalan keluarnya entah yang seperti apaaa dan bagaimanaaa caranya.

Jawab Yesus: "Bukankah sudah Kukatakan kepadamu: Jikalau engkau percaya engkau akan melihat kemuliaan Allah?" Yohanes 11:40

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Janganlah hendaknya kamu kuatir tentang apapun juga, tetapi nyatakanlah dalam segala hal keinginanmu kepada Allah dalam doa dan permohonan dengan ucapan syukur. Filipi 4:6

Tuhan Yesus TOP banget.

Terimakasih udah bantu Jr, terimakasih udah kirim orang2 yg sll support buat tetep kuat kerjain ini smuaaaa Mama, Mimi & Kk Celi ( yg tiap hari nonton gw mewek plg kantor ) wkwkwk, Oma Djaka, Bulek, Ka Depi, smua anak2 M50 asramaputri yang ingetin makan yang ingetin pulang yang temenin lembut yang puterin lagu biar gak BT, Beb Cyn ( tiap hari gw WA nanya2 mulu kek pembantu baru, maaf banget suka gangguin😫, Ka Dapid dan smua yang gak bisa di sebutin satu2.

Tuhan Yesus berkati kalian semuaaa dan balas kebaikan kalian 😘😘😘😘😘

Perjuangan visa2 gw belom kelar. Tp inilah yang dabest! 🎈

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mnovenia · 2 months

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14 FEB 2024

1 tahun dari aku nulis kesedihanku di hari valentine di level 21 JCO, pura2 ngomong bhs korea, mendambakan yoongjae soeeun dan wondering kapan my turn dikasih Tuhan..

Tentu aja aku berharap tahun Tuhan kasih cerita bahagia yang lain, seperti manusia lain, seperti yang aku harapin.. memang ceritanya udah jauh berbeda, dan aku bisa aja hanya kalut sama pikiranku sendiri, expektasiku sendiri, pengertianku yg egois dan terpengaruh iblis2 dunia..

Minggu ini mungkin terjauh bisa dibilang aku sm gwanghui.. i mean gabisa bilang, tapi aku mulai merasa disia2in, gak dianggap, dia gak care and menjauh banget daripada minggu2 awal dan waktu kita di tintin..

Kamis abis lifegroup sebenernya aku udah manyun karena pulang doa rabu n meet hyojin sojin dia bner2 kesel sm warung or entah kenapa dia di mobil bner2 cuma diem doang, bahas visa lah, liat kakao talk lah.. benci banget aku, emang aku supir.. mau2 nya dia banget.. gatau perasaan aku doang atau gmn, sbnernya pas pergi sih baik2 aja, dia pake baju wrc santai, aku pake baju biru mudaku yg tanktop.. kita jg sneng2 cerita juluk2in satu sama lain ttg wangjanim lah, gmn dia blg nuna tuh beda, dia bukan org indonesia.. trus gatau kepengaruh pas malemnya pas hyo tanya: durinen couple? kita sama2 nyaut, ani, trus gw tambahin munsuriya.. gatau dia tersinggung apa engga, aku jg ya gengsi lah uda jelas2 dia deny ani.. trus dia jelasin knp dia ke bali: dia joking krn ada nuna, demi cewek dia ke bali, trus emphasize: just kidding, gw tambahan: ara, nado ara!! itu baik2 aja.. makan jg enak2 bgt, sm sajangnim dikasi byk bonus, duo daegu jg blg aduh kalian berdua lucu banget dll.. kita bner2 ky cute couple yg udah saling ngerti each other and perfect, dr ngom rs international bali n jg tmenku ada channel dll.. dia jg suru aku makan cheonnya, dll.. trus bye2 n kita doa ke bali budha, aku pilihin yg dia kira2 suka tp kynya ttp dia gasuka, trus masi bercanda2 aduh ini cowo ganteng di zoom, aku jg gamau kalah aduh ini yeppeun yeoja..

Beres doa jg masih becanda2 bikin video ke oliv, dll.. tp trus diusir dia BT, d mobil senderan sndiri, baca2 ktalk badmood sendiri, gw jg nyanyi2 sendiri n diem aja: EMG GW SUPIR. kynya kelamaan bareng bikin BT n we need to put distance. Besoknya dia blg: nuna aku k sanur duluan, aku jg rada BT udah dia dtgnya telat, tp aku jujur enjoy aja sama anak2, males jg pas dia dateng jd harus adjusting dll. Dia dtg gw cm ngom: jm berapa woy.. trus aku dingin, tidur2 aja sndiri, dia trus gw suru naik kayak sm anak2, cm ambil iphone dia, dia sempet tarik2 gw hwuijangnim ayo, gw gamau.. foto2, biasa aja, ngasi makan anak2, becanda2 pas makan, bayar2, popmie, baso, joget tiktok jgjujur gw slalu luluh sih at the end of the day, betapapun gw mau dingin n lg sebel banget.. di mobil masih trauma sm kmaren, tp rada membaik, bs sync geunde dedega nana cuahae.. tp ya dia main2 hp kynya janjian sm temennya n bener aja dia minta rekomen kafe n nemuin temennya dr soccer group yg kmaren.. cowo sih tp yawda gt aja..

Hari jumat aku jg sibuk urusan rumah melaspas, aku takut, tp dia jg gak seems peduli, aku sm bella aja, pulang makan sm pram, tidur siang, trus aku lari, sambil sedih jg dia ga kontak aku apa2, aku jg gatau salah gak aku gaajak dia ke rumahku.. trus aku lari 5K, lagi dnger mideumin opsineun: tak orangnya muncul lg ambil gojek.. aneh banget ga? mnurutku itu Tuhan kasih jawaban sih, sbnernya tetep dia orangnya, cm timingnya aku harus tunggu aja dua2nya masih dalam proses.. yg 1 masih denial n feel like so much to prove dgn batu, moody, childish dan gengsi setinggi langit.. yg 1 baperan, gengsinya, lemah dan self controlnya kdg kurang, takutan, menjalankan smua bdsk feeling and how people treat her, imajinasi setinggi langit, tp bagusnya DIA PUNYA TUHAN YANG MEMBELA, yg kehendaknya gabisa diganggu gugat pun sm 2 keunikan 2 manusia ini..

Lanjut sabtu sincia aku bner zoonk ga ngapa2in, aku uda takut n feeling2 sndiri dia kontekan sm E n k dance class nya or gmn.. aku post foto di IG jg ga di like, benci banget.. hujan jg seharian.. tp aku recover n nyanyi2 aja sendiri..

Minggu membaik, dia greja seharian, lagu koram deo: One thing I seek & enhyeroda yg aku suka bgt krn dengerin healing voice terus.. gw jg pas sore akhirnya wa duluan, dia sih bales imut gwang2i tenten~ au ah gelap..

mana kita pake baju kembar lagi sama2 biru muda, di mobil cerita, td abis ibadah pagi aku telp halmoni haraboji, papa, nuna chukadeul, mreka blg aku kurus banget n disuru cepet balik.. kita beli jeruk di grand lucky (aku berdoa itu kita di masa depan akan selalu berdua beli grocery rumah tangga).. trus kita telat bareng, di greja si E duduk di tengah2 kita lg wkkww bgt.. aku sih uda kebal, bebal, cuek.. bella pulang duluan, kita forum, dede ngilang, trus pas pulang aku suru dia kasi apple nya ke ibu kim, dia sneng trus kasih kita mandu: tnya ntar gatchi mokgo ya.. kalian tinggal bareng kan? trus kynya E agak dketin dia gt, dia diem aja.. dia gendong khan, E gendong terry, gw sih cuek aja ngobrol2, KH geli kynya dideketin E trus dia kasih khan ke aku suru gendong tp dia pegang2 terus, elus2 terus selama khan di tanganku (mery, ibu kim, E bengong aja liat adegan itu).. aku seneng bgt, my pisces mind pikir itu sperti masa depan kita gendong2 anak (DUH MARSHELLA), aku blg gwang2 ini gendong si khan, berat, dia: aheuaheu gamau.. suru aku gendong, getok!! balik k ruangan pun dia dket2 aku sambil main rubrik, aku blg baegoppa... trus kita pamit n makan ke arena seneng bgt.. bner2 ky date.. psen bnyak banget, enak.. ngobrolnya bner2 panjang lebar aku sampe gatau lg, deep banget ttg Tuhan, misi, ngom jangronim & pengorbanannya.. dia blg: geugoneun oksuni mission, taekyuni mission, andrewi mission, samwoli mission.. aku diem aja.. pas ketemu eka n istrinya yg cantik, dia kenalan jg, n komen: so white.. cantik mgkn maksudnya, trus cerita aku blg pasti at least ada 1 org yg aku kenal dsni..

Aku cerita dr kecil aku slalu dia sekolah TOP, (aku, yoora, oliv, eka dr 1 uni d jakarta, tmpt org kaya, ky yonsei) tp aku beda sm temen2ku, mamaku cm dr salary.. kesussahanku, nightmare ku yg udah leat n kanpa aku suka hemat simpen2 uang krn masalaluku.. dia blg: background km bagus gt, knapa km gak ke stable church? Krn Tuhan lg process km: pure as gold apa gt ayat alkitabnya, trus kasih link youtube and nyanyi2 berdua deh kita lyric lagunya..

Cerita betapa hidupnya susah, dia ngerasain smua kesusahan yuni, dede, E, krn dulu dia jg sll miskin gt, baru skrg aja Tuhan kasih dia lebih.. hr ini reno sm E ga perhatiin sermon.. gmn caranya kita bikin mreka tertarik sm firman n lebih serius.. dia blg darakbang itu perlu.. itu gmn dia sm jihoon selama setahun melakukan.. dia harus setir 2 jam ke ansan, tiap dia lakuin apa jihoon gamau dnger, sampe skrg jihoon yg doain dia tiap hari, aku slama januari ga bales dia apa2 nuna, cm reaktion aja krn spiritual stateku lg gabaik.. tp dulu jihoon beda bgt, untuk itu aku bersyukur sm Tuhan n kita harus lakuin sm anak2 skrg.. aku blg tau gak, aku tuh susah bgt lakuin itu sm E, dia tuh beda bgt sm aku.. aku gak suka kl ditnya, lebih baik dia gaada d group kita, tp aku tau bukan itu yg Tuhan mau.. jd aku coba lawan kedaginganku n ajak dia ktmu terus, itu pun dia masih ga trima kasih.. aku beliin dia ini itu, sperti byk sacrifice tp aku coba lakuin, krn aku mau iikutin kata Tuhan..

Trus ada lg makdeg aka dia tnya: tmen2 nuna yg dr belanda cantik? maksudnya mau minta dikenalin apa gmn? km bnr2 ga nganggep aku, gak pertimbangin aku?? itu aku sakit hati banget gwanghui!!

trus ya pokoknya panjang mlm itu, dia yg bayar smua lagi, ktnya ini celebration.. aku paksa share dia gamau.. trus pulang, dia blg keburu ga beli buah? aku coba ke pepito sesetan, kita cute bgt lg, pilih2 buah, kejar2an krn aku titip buahku di keranjang dia.. dia suru aku pilih buah.. rekomen snack, aku suru beli kue marie ktnya jinja nuna ky papakku.. wkkwkwkw sialan.. aku suru beli hello panda dll. akhirnya dia bli bir jg, ttp gamau disuru tuker tas, charge samsung, mau2 lu lah.. batu.. aku k mobilin ambilin hpnya yg ada card hanabank, aku suru cepetan.. dia suru aku bliin eskrim coklat (brani2nya).. trus ya pulang dg hati gembira, muter2 parkiran krn dia wangjanim mau yg dket.. sneng sih bgt mlm itu.. tp trus dia ganti profile katalk malesin bgt selfie d ikea gt, pas amanda jg ganti lagi.. kdg mau curiga tp ya gatau yee, kedaulatan Allah..

Senin aku sibuk seharian parah krn pak david dll, jg aku mau buatin tteokkuk, n smua ekspektasiku.. dia wa aku bales ky 3 jam kemudian krn ttg dede, dan aku harus bible study while aku worry mau buatin yg perfect buat dia.. pas aku tnya huhu dia malah d beachwalk entah sm siapa.. aku suru telp kl pulang, dia ga ngomong2 sampe aku tg jm 12 mlm.. kynya itu puncak kekesalanku sih, smua salah paham n aku yakin dia jg gatau smua ini n ga peduli.. sedangkan aku ngarep beribu2 ngarep..

selasa gaada babibu apapun, aku sibuk n ktemunya malah di argos pas aku lg stress bgt mau telp bu ursula pak willy.. dia manyun2 walau ganteng n putih bgt pake baju abu.. pgen aku peluk tapi dia gak even pamitan sm aku pas mau pergi les: gondok banget kan aku bner2 kesel.. sampe mlm pun gaada bilang apa2, ga berhub. pokoknya gatau lah knapa..

hari ini valentine, aku expect apa kek, dia darakbang n kerja seharian sm bella. aku dsuru nyamper aku males, trus yooni sm aku ngedate aja.. dia yg send n dia respon d group (pinter jg gw kadang2).. kita cm berhub di group solideo n dlm doa intinya setiap hari.. saling gengsi gamau wa duluan.. dia sih wa ttg abdi n mo ngapain besok.. aku bales seadanya.. pas doa baru dia yg muncul dia tnya: wae honjaseo? aku BT aja ga aku bales, cm blg: genyang.. suara gw kedengeran gak? yawda doa n aku liat dia post d IG ikut riot, dpt pocky valentine (selamet yee 1 group dapet smua), n doa.. dia tuh kl productive baru seneng, heran gw.. tp hatiku teriris2 bner2 sedih aja ky kita jadi jauh banget, n seopen or cerita2 ky dulu lg dia slalu cerita hari2nya.. aku sedih banget n hati aku tuh sakit banget ya Tuhan rasanya.. aku ky harus belajar lepasin genggaman satu2, mindset yg bener biar gak tjaksarang n aku doang yg naksir.. aku tentu saja limited n ga ngerti Tuhan lg proses aku yg pasti, aku pun kehilangan rasa syukur akan the fact that the one is already brought over here, itu aja udah miracle.. banyak pertanda2 lain, kecocokan yg luar biasa, tp mmg timing n jalannya masih muter aja dulu.. tapi yg pasti sesebel2nya, aku gak give up doa untuk kebaikan dia, masa depan kita bersama dan kedaulatan Tuhan akan hubungan kita.. Maafin shella ya Tuhan, slalu mau buru2 dan dibutakan sm ekspektasi shella sndiri, berikan shella pengertian, kebijaksanaan utk handle kondisi ini.. shella suka n gemes bgt sm KH.. i hope we'll be united as God intended.. ILOVEYOU LORD, ILOVEYOUKKH

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