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#bts x you
btsmutimagines · a day ago
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muse. (m)
A/N: So, apparently sex paintings are a thing and I’d thought it would be right up Tae’s alley lmao. Sorry for sitting on this for a month but school's a bitch
Summary: Taehyung is an artist and your body is his muse.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: oral (m+f recieving and giving), sex, dirty talk, fingering
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You looked through the cupboards, finding a pan, some clean plates and bowls. You checked the fridge, looking through the shelves in hopes of finding something to work with.
Is it too much to make breakfast? Maybe he would like—
“You know, you could have stayed in bed a bit longer…”
You froze as you heard his hoarse voice in your ear, his arms wrapped around you.
“T-Taehyung.”
“Mmhm.”
He nuzzled into your neck, humming in response.
Your boyfriend, Taehyung kept you long enough to make you stay the night. It was on you for not keeping track of time, the movie marathon the two of you had put you at a disadvantage. Though, you were sure he was banking on you being too interested to care.
“Muse~ You make me want to tease you when you zone out on me like that.” He cooed, the nickname he gave you always gave you butterflies when he says it.
“I was just thinking…”
“Is it conceited to think it’s about me?”
“Yes…”
“Even though I’m right?”
“Even so.”
“Then, can we go back to bed? Maybe you could dream about me instead?”
“It’s already 11, we can’t sleep in more. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” You turned around to scowl at him, immediately regretting your actions moments later.
“So, I can just eat you out for breakfast. I don’t want to miss meals, you know.” His left hand gently cupping your breast while his right hand slipped dangerously close to your cunt.
“Can’t we just eat a nice breakfast instead?” You weakly offered, his fingers playing with the folds of your cunt as his thumb expertly touched your clit. You couldn’t forget the left hand either, who now gently pinched your nipples through the shirt you wore.
“But your pussy’s the best spread I’ll ever have.”
He spoke directly in your ear, sinking two fingers into you with no warning. You couldn’t resist, enjoying the rhythmic pumping of his fingers into you as you leaned against the sink for support.
“Look at that, got no more fight left in you, honey? Or is my fingers too good to resist?”
“Don’t —ah– say it like that.”
“Your pussy is telling me a different story than those pretty lips of yours. Take a good listen.” You couldn’t deny the quick mess of your cunt he made in such a short time. He knew that you knew but you couldn’t mutter those words. One, out of embarrassment and two, it would only add to his teasing.
“What about you?”
“You’re going to have to speak more directly, muse.”
“Don’t –nng– act like you’re not –ah– hard.”
“And if I am? Going to do something about it?”
You palmed him through his boxers, is this morning wood…? He was evidently hard as you witnessed with your own eyes as you lowered the band to free his cock. You ran your finger along the vein in sheer curiosity, did he always get this hard in the mornings?
“Don’t think so hard, just touch me the way you want to.”
“O-okay.” You damned yourself for somehow being shy while he had fingers up your cunt that very moment but you sloppily spit into your hand before grabbing hold of him. You’ve become accustomed to the warmth of saliva, unmatched to the warmth of Taehyung’s body but you had to focus on him.
Your thumb ran across the slit, down the shaft with the rest of your fingers in a fluid motion. Your eyes judged his reaction, the hard bite of his lips was a good sign until he brought his lips against your neck. You moaned loudly at the sudden lick.
“Fuck, honey. Grip me harder.” You heeded his instruction, tightening your grip with each pump of his cock. His audible groans in your ears were distracting in addition to the quickening pace of his fingers.
“T-Tae!” He swiftly lifted your shirt and bra, latching his lips to your bare nipple. He suckled, knowing well how sensitive they were. You could mewl in response, wanting to keep up your own pace.
You brought your other hand to fondle his balls, remembering how much he liked that and a loud grunt reaffirming your memory.
“You don’t play fair.”
“N-neither do you.” You retorted.
“That hurts, honey. But I know much you like when I tease you when I make you a shameful little mess while you come for me over and over again. That pretty face you make just begging for more even then.”
“T-Tae…”
“Show me once more, my little muse.” As he spoke these words, you were already coming. You cursed, cried out his name as he held you up.
Though, you weren’t forgetting something. It wasn’t a graceful way to get on your knees but you wanted to catch him off guard. You took his cock into your mouth, beginning to finish him off.
You haven’t done this before you met him, learning what he liked through his words and actions. He would always praise you each time with a smile, making your heart race a little. It only made you want to please him as much as he does for you, taking the thrusts of his hips that joined your rhythm.
“Holy shit, how can your little tongue feel so good?”
“Just like that, all– all the way down.”
“Fuck, baby, you get better every time.” He praised, you noticing the twitching of his cock before he came down your throat. You took as much you could before pulling away, coughing a bit.
“Oh shit, baby, I didn’t mean to just shoot down your throat without forewarning. Are you alright?” His voice was now full of concern as you nodded your head.
“I-I’m fine.” He helped you to your feet, holding onto you as you stood.
“Okay. I’m not going to lie, it was kind of hot to watch.”
“Coughing included?”
“Maybe not that part.”
“Thought so.”
“Now, onto the next thing.”
“Which is?”
“I like my eggs scrambled.”
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
You held onto Taehyung’s arm, partially to keep yourself steady while you wore heels but also you wanted to stay closer to him than usual. Every so often, you’re reminded of the world Taehyung lived in, international elites gathered in banquet halls while they drink and network.
The first event he took you to left you anxious yet impressed. Seeing Taehyung speak so many languages, some with more fluency than others but they all seemed to like him. Of course, you couldn’t imagine them not liking him, so charismatic, so…perfect.
“Muse?”
“Yes?”
“Are you alright? If you need us to go, just shoot me an ‘X’.”
“I remember, Tae. I guess I’m not used to this yet.”
“That’s alright. I don’t mind if I have to stick by you all night–“
“No! I mean– you should do what you always do, don’t let me stop you.”
“You’re not holding me back, you’re the only thing that makes these events worthwhile.” He kissed your head, continuing to guide you into the large room when many were gathered.
“Ah, Mr. Kim! Ma’am! Welcome.”
“Good evening, I take it you may know where I’m seated.”
“Right this way.” The two of you followed, being seated near a couple you’ve seen before.
“Ah, it’s Miss Y/N, yes?” The man piped up, god why didn’t he just do the dude thing where he talks to the other man in a couple while the women talked? Yes, you could admit it would be weird if he didn’t acknowledge you but you didn’t want to carry on any conversation.
“Yes…”
“You look stunning, never thought the colour champagne was easy to pull but here you are.”
“You look…um…nice as well.”
“What a tender compliment.” What does that even mean? You pondered while his attention turned to Taehyung.
“Taehyung, I didn’t realize how stylish your suit is. Is that Balmain?”
“Custom from an Italian tailor. A gift from a generous friend.”
“Generous, indeed. You look impeccable.”
“Enough with the flattery, it doesn’t make my heart flutter as much as my lady or business.”
“Straight to the point. I like it.” They started talking more about business, your interest running dry. The man’s plus one was silent, maybe she wasn’t much of a talker either. You figured it didn’t matter much if you said anything though it would be nice to not have to cling to Taehyung at every event…
“Darling?”
“Yes?”
“Is there anything you’d like to drink?”
“I’m fine, Tae.”
“Okay.” He kissed your cheek before walking off with the man.
“You’re not what I was expecting.”
“W-what?”
She suddenly spoke, her tone icy and the disdain was clear. Was that what she was thinking while you sat there?
“You’re so different than the women he’s been with before, it’s giving me whiplash.”
“Does that even matter?”
“Either your status is unmatched or he took pity on you. I’m leaning towards pity with that dress.”
“Wow, you sound pretty jealous for someone that’s already in a relationship.”
“I’m just speaking the truth. Pesky little gold diggers like you don’t deserve to be around men like my Tae–“
You didn’t realize your reflexes reacting before your hand connected with her face. It felt like time slowed after you slapped her. The thought of this woman trying to claim your boyfriend enraged you, especially when she already had someone no less. The moment of gratification from her shock was bliss until you heard a voice.
“Y/N–?” You looked to see Taehyung staring at you. He had two bottles of water in his hands and the other man already grabbed the cold woman as she began to weep.
“I-“
“Let’s go.” He mumbled, quickly whisking you out the room with onlookers gossiping. You only followed, Taehyung only stopping when the valet came around with his car.
He silently opened the door, allowing you to clumsily step in before walking into his seat. The drive was quiet, he held your hand the whole way home. You shouldn’t have found solace in that, he could sense your anxiety levels soaring and wanted to ease your mind somehow.
“I heard what she said.” He didn’t speak until he was parked at your apartment building.
“You did?”
“Yeah, I did. I almost forgot that…”
“Go on…”
“One of my old flings. She probably thought she still had something with me.”
“Oh.” He slept with her before, huh…
“Were you the one to end things?”
“Yes.” You’ve always appreciated his honesty but god, you wished he’d lie to you now.
She was right, you were so different from her. She was curvier, bustier, her hair was longer, her lips much plumper than yours. Her wardrobe was probably more elegant and classier than whatever your best dress would ever be.
He truly could have anyone he wants and here he was with you, a woman who could barely keep her emotions in check.
“Muse.”
“I’m sorry. I-I messed up your deal and embarrassed you in front of all those people.”
“I don’t care. The guy was a hustler, nothing of value to offer.”
Not like you had anything either.
“Still, I’m sorry.”
“It’ll blow over. Most people were too drunk to care and they won’t remember next time.” Would there even be a next time?
“Ah…”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Aw, such sweet lips like yours shouldn’t be telling me lies, you know.”
“I-I’m not.”
“Are you sure?”
You swore if he asked again, you might burst into tears. All this time he’s spending on you is taking away from someone who deserves him much more than you.
“I’m just a little tired.”
“Let me walk you upstairs, then.”
“It’s alright, Tae. I’m a big girl, I can make it to the elevator just fine.”
“Then, good night my muse.”
“Night.” You got out of the car, waving to him until he was out of sight. The first mascara-filled tear hit the pavement before the flood gates of more followed.
You eventually made it to your apartment, quickly wiping off the rest of your makeup and you laid in bed, hugging the body pillow Taehyung had gotten you. He gifted you his cologne, instructing you to use it whenever you missed him. And missed him you did.
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
You hadn’t seen him much since the event, luckily it meant that you didn’t have to talk about that night. But it only gave your insecurities a chance to grow with the seeds planted by that woman.
You cursed yourself for even considering what she said but if she was an example of the women that piqued his interest, you didn’t fully check out all the boxes.
“So, let me get this straight. You end up talking to one of his old flings and now you can’t stop thinking the words of some bitter bitch who can’t get over the fact she got dumped?” You decided to invite your best friend, Reina, for a girl’s date. You didn’t know when the conversation turned into this but it felt cathartic to speak on the elephant in the room.
“It’s not that. She just reminded me of how different I and Tae are, he’s well versed in so many things, travelled around the world and the farthest place I’ve been is across the country to visit my grandparents.”
“So what? You’re going to break up with him, so he can find someone else?”
“N-no…” When did you become so greedy? You don’t think you’re good enough for him but you didn’t want to let him go either.
“Then?”
“I just want to do something with him he’s never done before. Something new for us.”
“Something new, huh?” You didn’t like the glint in her eye that matched the smirk on her face.
“I don’t like that look on your face.”
“Oh, sweet Y/N, I’m trying to help. Pretty sure this is exactly what you and Taehyung need.”
Even so, you were understandably fearful of what she had in store.
She bossed you into taking a shower and dressing up in a simple dress. You were reluctant in all of this, unsure of what she had up her sleeve until you saw Taehyung standing in your apartment.
“T-Taehyung?”
“I missed you.”
“I-I did too…”
“Man, you two need a lot more work, huh? Taehyung, take her somewhere nice.”
“W-wait, where is this going?”
“Just trust me! Now, shoo.” Taehyung took your hand, the sudden kinship catching you off-guard and allowing him to lead you downstairs.
“I thought you were busy…” You sat him in his car again, him taking off somewhere.
“I was… but Reina told me you weren’t feeling well, so I came immediately.”
“That’s not exactly it…well…maybe.”
“I see. “
“A-anyways, it was so mean of her to kick out of my apartment. I was in the middle of Thor.”
“You have an unhealthy obsession with Chris Hemsworth.”
“He’s the better-looking Hemsworth.”
“He’s married with children, muse.”
“Let me have dreams, Taehyung.”
“As long as they’re about me, not him.”
“Alright, Mr. Jealous.”
“How could I be envious? I have you already, I was your first. I find that hard to top.” That word again, first. You know he was just teasing, it didn’t stop the feeling of inadequacy that stunned you back into awkward silence. He parked in an empty lot, lit by a street light but it didn’t matter much.
“Y/N?” He rarely called you by your name, reserved for moments of shock or worry, his tone pointing to worry. You hated yourself for letting some has-been tell you what you are, to make you feel all these useless emotions that just picked away at you. You were so happy before, was it just blissful ignorance?
“Just breathe.” You took a deep breath before exhaling. You were a mess.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re a bad liar. Your leg hasn’t stopped shaking since we got in the car.” A common gesture that didn’t mask your anxiousness.
“Is it about the other night?”
“If it was?”
“Tell me how you’re feeling, thinking. As much as I wish I was a mind reader, you’re pretty good at keeping some cards to your chest.”
“Would make me a good poker player.”
“Would bet on you every time. But don’t try to distract me now.” You knew getting into an enclosed space like a car where you couldn’t–of course, he locked the doors already. Can’t get your way out of this one, huh?
“It’s stupid.”
“If it’s affecting you this much, then it’s not.”
“She told me I was different than what you’ve had in the past. Then you admit you’ve… been with her before and I know… I-I sound really stupid right now, but I can’t get it out of my head. What the fuck do I have that she doesn’t? Everything we do, it’s just new to me and the same old to you. I don’t–“ You were babbling, sobbing partway through your ramble and you wanted to crawl back into bed.
He cupped your cheeks, wiping away your tears as they fell.
“I love you. That’s what you have that she doesn’t. I was her ATM and she was just an outlet for me to feed my desires. Every time I wanted her, the next day I would see a bunch of charges to my card. She snapped at me one day when I wouldn’t fly her out to some fashion show and I cut my card. That’s why I left her. I was numb, just throwing myself into parties, anything where I could feel numb with people all around.” He ruffled his hair, probably feeling frustrated with his former self. He wasn’t looking at you now, did he feel ashamed?
“Then I met you. A cute girl that paints. I still remember how I’d let you use my arm to mix colours. The sweet giggles that left your lips when I got paint in my hair.”
“I still remember how I felt when you kissed me first. Granted, you were a bit tipsy but it felt like something woke me up. I didn’t have to feel numb anymore.”
“So I like that you’re different. Because when I do anything with you, it feels different too.”
“Taehyung.”
“I’m just rambling, aren’t I?”
“Taehyung.” It was your turn to cup his cheek and make him look at you.
“Why are you crying harder than before?”
“Because your speech is beautiful, you ass.”
“Not sure if I should be insulted or flattered.”
“Take it as both.”
“Noted.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For not telling you sooner.”
“I’m sorry for not letting you know how I feel. Here.” He took one of your hands, placing it on his chest. With the bounding beat of his heart, you looked at his face to notice he was blushing and you could feel your face grow hot.
“Beats this much for you.”
“Alright, you’re being so cheesy.”
“Which type, gouda or cheddar?”
“God, you don’t stop, do you?”
“I want to keep you happy, so I’ll be silly, serious and sexy whenever you want.” Of course, he had to toss in sexy. He wiggled his eyebrows at you, causing you to laugh.
“There it is. The prettiest sound in the world.”
“Enough, you have more sap than a maple tree.”
“Does my syrup taste as good?”
“And…now it’s sexual.”
“It already was when I saw… is that red lace, hm?”
“I-It’s not my fault, I forgot to do laundry.”
“Mmhm, is that so?” He wasn’t waiting for an answer, leaning in to kiss you. It’s been so long–too long since you felt his soft lips against yours and you only wanted to savour the taste of him. You pouted when he pulled away, his lips meeting your neck this time.
“T-Tae.”
“Hmm?” His hot tongue left sloppy kisses, your head feeling dizzy until you heard his phone vibrate. A lot.
“Fuck. I don’t wanna.”
“Maybe it’s important.”
“So are you.”
“Pick it up, Taehyung.”
“I like that tone, you should use it more.” You shot a glare at him as he picked up the phone.
“Yeah, it’s done? I’ll come back.” He slipped his phone back in his pocket, sighing as he started the car.
“I was about to get to the good part.”
“Maybe we could continue this later…”
“I like the sound of that.” He drove you back, holding your hand as you two went back to your apartment.
“What are you doing?” He stood behind you, covering your eyes all of a sudden.
“Just go with it.” You let him lead you in, covering your own eyes as he guided you in.
“Alright, open them.” You did, seeing a blank canvas with some paint and towels carefully placed around an air mattress.
“We’re painting?”
“I thought I mix two passions, painting and having sex with you so… sex painting sounded like a good mashup to me.”
“Where did you even get this?” You turned to him, seeing him grinning mischievously. Eerily similar to Reina’s…
“Yesterday, Amazon prime is heaven-sent.”
“Have you… done this before?” You’re kind of shocked that he knew about something like this, then again he was the more adventurous of the two of you.
“I haven’t. I want to do this with you.”
“Okay…”
“I believe we were in the middle of something earlier.”
“Were we?”
“Let me give you a refresher.” He uttered before pressing his lips against yours. It felt a shock of electricity shot down your spine when he kissed you, energizing you. You let him slip off your dress while you unbuttoned his jeans, stealing kisses between.
“Holy shit.” He exclaimed as he eyed the red lingerie in more detail. You felt more exposing in it than when you’re naked but hearing him hum as his hands ran around over your body made you feel better.
“I almost don’t want to let you wear clothes, ever. So fucking pretty.”
“Pretty little thing, always weak to my touch.” It was a familiar scene, his fingers playing with your pussy. He walked you back to the wall, your back against the hard surface.
“I want a taste this time.” You were almost puzzled until he sunk to his knees, his hand gently opening your legs. You could feel his breath against your panties, the mesh between the lace barely covering your pussy.
God, his fingers touched you gently before he pushed the panties to the side. His eyes were locked on yours as he ran his tongue around your exposed pussy.
“F-fuck.”
You felt your mind go numb, the sensation of his tongue teasing around your clit. It was shameful how wet you became.
“Look at me, muse.” You didn’t think you could, to watch him slowly unravel you with slow flicks of his tongue. His lips wrapped around your clit, slightly tugging and you grew more aroused.
He seemed to pick up on it, his pace hastening and you almost wanted to cover your face due to the sound of your wetness.
“O-oh god– yes–” You buried your hands into his hair, gently tugging and he breathed against you
“That didn’t hurt, did it? I-I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for it, I like it.”
“O-Oh.”
“You’re so cute. I just want to mess you up.” He slipped in two fingers with little effort, continuing to stimulate you while he spoke.
“But then again, I want to see you come all over my face. Maybe you’ll squirt all over me like last time. I can only imagine how pretty your sobs will be this time, or will I get a delicious whimper?.”
“T-Taehyung.” He talks so dirty with such ease, his voice bearing no shame while you grow bothered by his words.
“Don’t hold back on me now.” He muttered before pressing his lips against your clit once again.
It was that simple gesture that brought you to your climax, the feeling of his fingers venturing as deep inside you as they could. Those lips of his, now pressing soft kisses on your inner thigh as he slid your underwear off.
“So good for me.” He rose to his feet again, kissing behind your ear.
“It’s not fair that you’re still dressed.”
“You going to do something about it, darling?” You bit your lip, he’s really going to push you into taking the lead, huh?
You started with his shirt, pulling the soft black cotton material over his head before unbuckling his jeans.
“So how do we do this?” You slipped his pants down along with his boxers, him kicking them off for you.
“Pick a colour?” He unhooked your bra, tossing it whenever you threw his shirt.
“Um blue?”
“Good choice.” He led you over to the canvas, grabbing the blue bottle of paint and pouring it into his hands.
“Isn’t there instructions?”
“Not when it comes to art, my muse. Just follow my lead for now.” You were pretty sure he wanted to touch you more, using the paint as an excuse to ready you for the canvas but you weren’t complaining.
“Cover me in red, baby.” He handed you the paint bottle, letting you touch wherever you’d like. Your hands lingered around his chest, first, your handprints were what you’d seen before his body was more covered in the paint.
He used a towel to rub as much paint off his hands, the rest already dried. He picked up a condom on the coffee table, quickly applied it before looking at you.
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” You laid down, Taehyung climbing on top of you. He didn’t give you time to think, kissing you again while the tip of his cock teased your cunt.
You gasped in his mouth as he plunged into you, his cock slowly stretching every inch of you.
He was gentle, his hips rocking into yours as his hands held himself up over you. Your mind went numb as he continued to thrust. He kept moving positions with you, the two of you fucking every inch of the canvas.
“I love how blue looked on you, now a light shade of purple.”
“Are you getting turned on by colour theory right now?”
“Something about being able to make you cry out my name while we make art together, I guess.”
“God, why is that so hot?”
“Well, I did start with red.”
“Shut up.”
“I hope you don’t.” He thrusted harder than before, cutting off any response you had with a whine.
“Take it.”
“You– haah– might tear– the canvas.”
“A chance– nnn– to do this again, haah.”
He got on you on your stomach, fervously thrusting from behind and you couldn’t muster words. You could tell he was close, as were you but you waited for the final push.
“Shit. You good, baby?”
“Yeah…”
“Don’t fall asleep on me, sweetheart. We need to wash off the paint.”
“Sounds like round 2 to me.”
“Oh? We better get started.”
“T-Tae?” You exclaimed as Taehyung swept you off the canvas, carrying you to the bathroom eagerly.
“Prepare yourself, muse.”
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borathae · a day ago
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↳ Index [Chapter 10 - It’s The Little Steps That Count]
Genre: Fluff, Smut, soft Angst
Warnings: switchy!Jungkook, domish!Reader, choking, multiple positions & orgasms aye, so much domestic fluffiness, some fears of commitment too because that doesn’t just stop all of a sudden, there is also one very emotional scene about Kook’s path to soberity and it made me cry when I wrote it
Wordcount: 9.6k
a/n: *screeches into the void*
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 Jungkook shakes you awake a few hours later. He didn’t want to shake you awake, just as he didn’t want to wake up in the first place. But he does. He has to. His stomach woke him up.
“What?” you murmur tiredly, watching him run to the bathroom.
He doesn’t close the door. He couldn’t. He barely reached the toilet in the first place. The door would have been too much work.
You sigh, listening to him empty his stomach loudly.
You knew that he drank. He literally reeked of it last night when you met him. His breath, his skin, his clothes, even his lips. It was so strong that it even overpowered the scent of his cologne. Maybe you should have called him out on it, but you were honestly just happy to see him again. You didn’t want to ruin it with fighting.
You listen as he throws up again, sobbing painfully as he does.
Fuck, you feel so bad for him. He never should have drank that much again. It was your fault, you made him drink that much. He must have felt so broken because you threw him out of your place. You were so goddamn unfair to him back then. You roll out of bed and hurry to the bathroom. You need to be there for him, apologize to him through actions and show him that he has your support.
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Jungkook was kneeling in front of the toilet, panting heavily and grasping the toilet seat as if his life depended on it. He hasn’t heard you come in, currently gagging more and more in preparation for having to throw up again.
You sit down next to him in silence, placing your hand on his back to rub soothing circles on it. Fuck, he’s sweat straight through his shirt.
He gags and then his stomach empties itself again.
“It’s okay, let it all out”, you soothe him, “it’s painful, but you’ll feel better afterwards.”
He sobs, convulsing painfully.
“Sssh it’s okay, it’s going to be over soon”, you whisper, patting his back.
He convulses one last time and then finally, finally, his stomach stops aching. He falls down with a grunt, head hitting the wall and eyes barely open.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like shit.”
“Mhm I know, that sucks”, you say and flush for him.
You get him a glass of water and something to wipe his mouth with afterwards, allowing his head to fall against your shoulder once he cleaned his mouth.
“I’m so sorry you had to see this”, he croaks.
“Don’t apologize, I really don’t mind”, you assure him, petting his damp hair.
He whimpers, pulling his legs up and resting them on your lap.
“___ I drank again last night and now a-all I’m craving again is another sip”, he whimpers, seeking comfort by pressing himself closer, “I’m so scared, I don’t wanna drink again.”
“I know Kook.”
“Why am I doing this to myself?”
“I don’t know.”
“It hurts so much.”
“I know”, you reach over your chest to caress his ear.
He shivers, “don’t stop please”, he begs in a barely there whisper.
You don’t stop, massaging his ear softly. Your brother sometimes did that to you when you wouldn’t calm down. It always relaxed you. You’re happy that it helps Jungkook relax too.
 “___ I think I broke someone last night.”
“Really? How so?”
“There was this woman, who works for me, and were fucking for the past five months. But last night I told her that it was over and”, he whimpers, “and she looked so broken. She cried a-and begged me not to do this to her. ___ I did the same thing she did to me.”
“Don’t be so harsh on yourself please. You and that girl were only fucking, she gave you hopes of a relationship. Don’t mix that up.”
“Yeah, but she was crying so much and she reminded me so much of myself. Fuck ___”, he looks at you with glassy eyes, “I feel so fucking guilty.”
You sigh and cup his cheek.
“You did the right thing Bunny. If you felt that ending the sexual relationship you and her had was the right thing for you to do then it was the right thing to do. You shouldn’t have to stay in relationships just because you don’t want to hurt the other person, it’s best to let them go before you end up getting more hurt than necessary.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes, I really do. You did the right thing, alright?”
He nods his head, leaning into your touch like an addict looking for his high.
“Thank you so much. You always know what to say”, he whispers, draping his arm across your stomach to hug you.
You continue caressing his ear, listening to his steady breathing.
“Is that why you drank so much?”
“Partially, mostly it was because I missed you so much.”
Your heart stings in your chest.
“This hurts me, don’t drink because of me.”
“I’m sorry”, he chokes out, “oh god, wait.”
He ends up throwing up again, feeling a little less shitty doing so now that you are here to rub his back and let him rest his head on your shoulder afterwards. He was still feeling shitty however. You found out that he was drinking. He didn’t want to drink in front of you anymore, he didn’t want to be drunk or hungover and yet still ended up failing. He feels like such a disappointment. 
“Fuck I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s fine, really”, you assure him, “I’ve been there before.”
“Have you?”
“Yeah and I had nobody, so please stop apologizing. I’m here to help you.”
“Thank you.”
“But you have to promise me that you want to get better, I’m not here to watch you poison yourself over and over again.”
“I promise, it’s going to be easier now. I have you, I can do it with you by my side.”
You give him a smile, pressing a soft kiss to his sweaty forehead before resting your cheek against his head.
“I’m so happy that we’re finally dating. I've wanted this for so long.”
Your smile falls.
Fuck.
Now you have a person depending on you.
You have a person to take care of. You swallow heavily. This is everything you never wanted. You have a person, another human being, who is going to be by your side from now on. They could leave you. Jungkook could actually leave you. You just gave him the opportunity to hurt you.
What have you done?
“Right?” Jungkook sits up and crawls on top of your lap, “we are dating, aren’t we?”
You stare at him, picturing every bad scenario which would come out of you saying no. Jungkook ends up very hurt in most of them. Then you look at his lips and picture every bad scenario which would come out of you saying yes. You end up hurt in most of them. You look into his eyes and feel close to choking.
Jungkook scoots up your lap and touches the sides of your neck softly.
“We are dating, right?” he asks quietly, eyes becoming glassy in worry.
You end up hurt in most of them. Jungkook hurts you in most of them. He breaks your heart over and over again. Jungkook is going to break your heart if you say yes, so break his’ first.
The voice in your head is basically screaming it at you.
“Yes”, you answer him barely audible and flinch mentally when the voice begins yelling at you how stupid you are. Shut up voice, I want to be happy once. You tell it, clutching his thighs tightly for support.
“Oh god”, he says and sighs in relief, “I was so scared that you would say no”, he confesses and leans closer, “can I kiss you?”
“Brush your teeth first.”
“Oh yeah”, he covers his mouth, “sorry, that’s so disgusting.”
“It’s fine”, you assure him, giving his butt a gentle pat, “stinky boy.”
“Don’t”, he whines and blushes, “you are so mean, this is so embarrassing.”
He stumbles off your lap and gets to his feet with the help of your shoulders. Then he waddles to the sink and opens his cabinet to take out his toothbrush and toothpaste. You watch him, fumbling with the empty glass of water in your hands.
You said yes. Despite all the warnings of your brain you said yes. What is happening to you? That's not you. You don’t commit to someone. You don’t. 
Jungkook turns and opens another cabinet. He seems to feel better now. It was probably one of those moments where his body needed to get rid of the excess poison in his stomach, but once it’s done it feels good again. You sometimes had those moments too when you took too much.
“I have a fresh toothbrush in there, you can use it if you want to”, he tells you and points at it.
“Thank you, that’s so nice", you say and force yourself to stand up.
So you and him brush your teeth next to each other, sneaking nervous glances at the other every so often. It feels so weird to you. You are being all domestic with him.
“What do you want to do today?” he asks you.
“Huh?” you widen your eyes maybe a little too much right now. He wants to do stuff with you??
“Should we go out and do something? Or do you want to stay in and cuddle?”
“Uuuuuh….”
"I think I wanna stay in, I’m so sleepy. Is that okay with you?" 
"Uuuh", you say before nodding your head. He wants to do stuff with you. That feels so weird to experience.
"Nice, then let's stay in." 
Jungkook spits out the toothpaste and rinses his mouth with water. He gurgles it and spits it into the sink, washing his face with cold water afterwards.
“Oh that felt nice”, he sighs and pats it dry with a towel, “my cheeks felt so tight from all the crying”, he says while putting moisturiser on his skin.
His eyes flit to you.
“What’s with that look?”
“I uhm”, you look away, “nothing.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know”, you say and mean it honestly. You just feel weird and you can’t really say why. This is the type of intimacy you are not used to. You don’t know how to react.
Jungkook gnaws on his lower lip, watching you spit out your toothpaste and then rinse your mouth. You splash your face with ice cold water, hoping that it can lessen the feeling of burning up. Then you straighten up, gasping when Jungkook stands next to you with a fresh towel between his fingers.
“Thank you”, you whisper, accepting it and patting your face dry with lowered eyes.
“Do you want moisturiser too?”
“I don’t k-know, does it help?”
He nods his head and offers you the opened tube. You have never used such products before. Why should you, when eighty percent of your day you are wearing a mask either way?
“How much do I need?” you ask him shyly.
“Can I show you?”
“Yes?” you allow him and ask him at the same time what he means by that.
He steps closer and tilts your head up with one finger under your chin. 
"Oh…"
His eyes race over your features before a soft smile tugs the corners of his lips up. Then he places his pointer and middle fingers on your cheek, eliciting a soft gasp from you because of the cold cream on his fingertips.
“You have to put it everywhere first to make it all even”, he tells you in a soft spoken voice, putting tiny dots of the white cream all over your face, “perfect all done”, he grins.
“Okay”, you whisper, gawking at his brows eyes and wondering what the hell you were doing here.
“Then you have to spread it. Like that”, he says and begins rubbing it into your skin in slow circles. He touches you softly, tentatively even, eyes following the lines his fingers draw.
You can’t remember the last time you took a breath. You don’t think that you have ever felt so….vulnerable before. You are allowing someone else to put moisturiser on your face in the softest of touches. This feels as if you are walking down a busy road naked. So you clutch the fabric of your shirt right where your heart pounds in your chest, hoping that you can shield yourself a little.
He runs his pointer fingers down your temples and then dances them over your cheekbones, “there we go, now it’s all absorbed”, he whispers.
“Thank you”, the words are silent as you speak so you clear your throat and try a second time, “thank y-you.”
He smiles, eyes flitting to your lips. You can feel it and see it. You close your eyes and go for it. You goddamn go for it and press a kiss to his lips.
“Mhm”, he lets out, fingers losing themselves in your hair and shoulders rising to his ears.
You break away way too soon for his taste, keeping your eyes half-lidded and focused on his parted lips.
“Did you like that?” you ask him, because quite frankly you didn’t know if that was the right thing to do.
“So much”, he whispers, half-lidded eyes focused on the curve of your nose.
“Hah”, you let out and step back, “I have an idea."
"An i-idea?" 
“Let’s get all of your booze bottles and put them on the kitchen counter.”
“What? Why?”
“Let’s just do it.”
“Uhm”, Jungkook furrows his brows in confusion.
“Do you trust me Bunny?”
He nods his head, "of course, but why?"
“Good then let’s do it”, you say and grab his hand, “let’s go, let’s collect all of the bottles.”
He follows you, showing you all the places with confusion in his eyes. But you have a plan. He will see soon enough what you want to do.
Jungkook sets down the last bottle of whiskey (he found it in the guest bathroom hidden under towels) and then steps back to look at you.
"Is that everything now?" you ask him. 
He nods his head, staring at countless bottles. Holy fuck, that’s so many. What is wrong with me? He thinks and feels his heart ache in guilt and embarrassment. He lowers his head and bites down on the tip of his tongue. He wants to cry just from seeing how fucked he actually became.
"Good”, you say.
Silence as you work. You take the first bottle of many and open it. Jungkook lifts his head at the sound, eyes flitting to the bottle. 
"What are you doing?"
You extend your arm and hand it to him. He furrows his brows. 
"Take it." 
"What?" he gasps.
"Take it." 
"Why?" 
"Trust me." 
"Please tell me first." 
"Okay, so I know it's just a little step and also very spontaneous. But maybe we could empty all your bottles into the sink, so that at least in your home you are free of temptation?" 
"Oh", he lets out and lowers his eyes. 
"Wanna do it? It's okay if you don’t, I know that I'm kinda pushy right now." 
"No, uhm…"
Jungkook looks at the bottle of booze and takes a deep breath. He extends his arm and wraps his shaking fingers around the bottle neck. He stares at it, trembling in fear. 
"Now pour it down the sink." 
Jungkook stares at you with fear in his eyes.
"Trust me", you say and smile. 
Jungkook seems hesitant, fumbling with the opened bottleneck. So you step closer and wrap your fingers around his'. 
"Do you want my help?" 
He looks to the floor and nods his head. 
"Okay, let's do it together then. Come on. One, two and...three." 
You tilt the bottle. The brown liquid trickles into the sink loudly, disappearing down the drain in an instance. Jungkook is panting, eyeing it with panic. 
"You're doing very well Bunny", you praise him because you know that all he can think about right now is all the wasted alcohol. 
The last drop. Jungkook tilts the bottle up quickly and breaks away. He wheezes, throwing his hand over his mouth. 
"How do you feel?" you ask him.
He shakes his head, back colliding with the kitchen island. 
"It's really weird to watch isn’t it?" 
He nods his head vigorously, twisting his shirt right above where his heart hammers in his chest.
You put the now empty whiskey bottle in the cardboard box with all the other empty bottles, you had found on the way, and then draw closer to Jungkook. You touch his tummy softly, caressing it.
"And what do you think? Do you like the idea?" 
"Don't know, I-I don’t know", he stutters and shakes his head. 
"Okay, then shall we try another one? And then you can tell me if you want to continue or not?" 
He looks at his collection, shimmying from one foot to the other. His fingers leave red marks on his forehead from how harshly he massages it. 
"Okay, it's hard to answer. I get that. Then show me what is your least favourite out of them all?" 
Jungkook points at the unopened bottle of Bacardi. So you take it. 
"You are not going to miss it, right?" 
He shakes his head. 
"Good, that's good. So let's open it and pour it down the sink. Shall we?" 
"You do it, please", he chokes out, pressing himself against the kitchen island. 
"Okay, I’ll do it."
You step to the sink, open the bottle and turn to Jungkook. He stares at the bottle, hand thrown over his mouth. 
"You are doing amazing Jungkook", you assure him and tilt the bottle. 
He gasps when the liquid hits the sink, shuddering with every spilled drop. It is empty within seconds, the bottle finds its home in the cardboard box. 
"Look, there are three more bottles of Bacardi. Should I empty them for you?" 
Jungkook whimpers, "yes please." 
"Great, we'll do it together. You watch me and I pour."
Jungkook nods his head, eyes glued to your hands. You empty the first two quickly and discard them in the box. Then you turn. Jungkook is holding the last bottle, he had opened it. His eyes are glued to the opening even when he hands it to you. 
"Good job, that was really good", you praise him and turn to the sink to empty the last bottle.
Jungkook whimpers when the last drop falls, throwing his hand over his mouth again. It's gone. The Bacardi is gone. 
You discard the bottle in the box and then claim your spot in front of Jungkook. You touch his sides to remind him that he wasn’t alone right now.
"You have done so well until now. I'm really proud of you." 
Jungkook reaches for you, twisting your shirt in the front. His face is contorted in painful relief. You know that a part of him is mourning the loss of his favourite coping mechanism while another is dancing in joy. The trick is to go slow until dancing becomes easier than mourning. 
"Let's do another one. What's your second least favourite?" 
Jungkook lowers his head and shakes it. 
"It's okay, should I just pick one?" 
He hesitates, rubbing his hand over his face in distress. You think that maybe he will tell you that he had enough but then all of a sudden he nods his head.  
"Okay. Then I'll pick….this one." 
You show him the bottle of Tequila. Jungkook had opened it just last week, but only drank a quarter of it. 
"I never liked that shit", you say and smile. 
Jungkook doesn’t retort it and that's okay. You know how much stress he was experiencing right now. 
"Now come on Kookie, I need your help with that one. Let's do it together." 
Jungkook whimpers, hands balled into fists. So you take one of them and make his fingers wrap around the bottleneck instead. Jungkook whimpers. 
"There we go. Now. One, two, three." 
The liquid pours down quickly. Jungkook squirms beside you, letting out tiny squeaks of distress. 
"All done. Let's do one more together."
You pick out a bottle of soju. You rub Jungkook's lower back in the process because he started to shake uncontrollably. 
The bottle empties quickly. You grab another one and hand it to Jungkook. 
"Can you do this one alone?" 
He shakes his head, eyes becoming glassy. You step closer and open the bottle for him. 
"Now just tilt it Bunny", you whisper, caressing his back. 
He grunts and shakes as he tries to tilt the bottle. He really tries. He swallows down a sob and tilts the bottle more. 
Drop. Drop. Drop.
The soju trips onto the metal loudly. Jungkook wheezes for air and sobs. 
"Yellow", he presses out, dropping the bottle and stumbling away, "yellow, yellow, yellow", he sobs, burying his face in his hands. 
"Okay, that’s okay. Jungkook, you have done so, so well." 
Jungkook turns and runs. He runs and you follow him until he falls down on his sofa.
"I can't do this", he chokes out and sobs loudly, "I can't do this, I can’t, I can’t." 
"Hey Bunny", you kneel down in front of him and cup his cheeks to tilt his head up, "you don’t have to do this anymore. We can stop for today. I am not forcing you to do this." 
Jungkook sobs. His face carries so much fucking pain but somehow also disappointment.
"Tell me your thoughts Jungkook, what’s bothering you?"
"I can't do this, I c-can't do this. Not alone. I can't do this alone."
"Okay, then let's do it together." 
He shakes his head and leans forward until his face is buried in your shoulder and you have to support half of his weight. 
"Why? Tell me what makes it so hard."
"So much alcohol", he manages to get out and then he has to sob painfully. 
"Ah I get it. You are seeing all of this alcohol run down the drain and you feel like you are wasting it." 
"No, no." 
"Then tell me Kookie."
"I can't do this without it. I'm so scared. I can’t live without it." 
"You feel like it now because you are currently under immense stress, but trust me Kook you can. I saw you be happy without booze. I saw you function without it. You can live without it." 
Jungkook whimpers and lifts his head. 
"Trust me Jungkook. It feels like you can’t, but that's just an asshole trick of the booze as it's trying to lure you back", you cup his cheeks, "you can live without it. Trust me." 
He shakes his head and sobs softly. 
"Come on, let's get up and walk." 
Jungkook lets you pull him to his feet. You support him by his waist, leading him to the stairs. He takes them slowly, needing the hand railing. It’s alright for you because you have time. You just want to bring him away from the alcohol for now, give his brain a new environment to concentrate on. Once upstairs you lead him to the rooftop terrace, opening the door and going outside with him. It is a warm morning. The clouds hang between the skyscrapers, collimating the sunlight into straight beams. From underneath the fields of white clouds a constant rushing was making its way up to your ears. Like that of the ocean. You know that it was traffic however. 
He seems to breathe easier once outside. He doesn’t need to clutch you that tightly and he doesn’t stumble that much either.
You sit him down on his sunbed and sit down next to him, rubbing up and down his back.
"There we go. It can't reach us here." 
Jungkook sniffles and looks at you. 
"I'm sorry."
"There is nothing to apologize for."
"I used my safeword. I, I don’t know why I did that." 
"That wasn’t weird at all. I want you to use it when you feel it necessary. The situation doesn’t need to be sexual for you to need a break or to stop. Okay?" 
"Yes okay", he whispers.
You give him a soft smile, combing his disheveled hair out of his face.
"I'm very proud of you. You managed to throw away seven bottles. That's such an impressive start and one you can be really proud of." 
Jungkook looks at you but lowers his head after a moment. 
"Fuck", he presses out.
"It sounds like too much, doesn’t it?"
"Yes", he confesses shakily. 
"I know it does, but it was just right." 
Jungkook exhales shakily and punches his own palm twice. Then he squeezes his own fist, glassy eyes glued to the floor. 
"I wanna stop drinking. But now that we are emptying all my booze, I don’t want to stop. Why is this so fucking hard?" 
"Because everything inside of you tells you that taking away your supposed only escape is a big mistake." 
You tug his hair behind his ear.
"It has something to do with evolution and how we are still animals in the sense of needing to be aware of an escape route at all times. If we aren't, our bodies go into stress and we start to feel really uneasy and anxious. That's why people choose the seats next to walls in restaurants instead of the ones facing the crowd. You can look over everything better and always have an eye on your escape routes." 
Jungkook looks at you. 
"Alcohol is your escape route Kookie and now you are forcing your body to watch how you are cutting it off. You are currently under immense stress because it feels like you are being forced into a corner." 
"Yes", his lower lip trembles, "that’s how it feels like. I'm so scared." 
"I know you are and that is totally valid, but I am here for you and I am not gonna leave you."
"Really?" 
"Yes really", you take his hand, "we'll tackle this bitch together." 
"Fuck ___", he whispers and guides your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles softly. He presses it against his forehead and closes his eyes, "thank you so much." 
"Don't thank me, I’m doing this gladly." 
Jungkook drops your hand but continues holding it. His elbows are propped up on his thighs, his upper body is bend forward and his head lowered. You rub his back softly, giving him the moment of silence he so clearly needs. You know that his mind must be racing right now. That he is replaying what had happened downstairs over and over again and that he is asking himself all sorts of existential questions. You can remember how you felt when you had to take your last pill. How you stared at it for an hour, trembling and crying, because you didn’t want to use it up but you so desperately needed it. How you asked yourself why you even left Busan in the first place and why you didn’t stay with the people who could have made escaping so much easier. You remember that you threw up from stress once you took the pill and that you stared at the still undissolved pill in your bile and that for a moment you considered reaching in there and taking it out again. You ended up forcing yourself to flush before that could happen and then ended up crying so hard that you had to throw up a second time. 
You are glad that Jungkook, while still clearly in distress, feels a little better in forcing his addiction quite literally down the drain. And you are happy that you can be there for him to make it easier. 
"I feel like such a failure", he breaks the silence. His breathing has thankfully returned to normal. 
"Why?" 
"Because I got upset over spilled booze", he clenches his jaw, "I'm so pathetic." 
"Jungkook", you shake him, "didn’t I tell you to stop talking shit about yourself?" 
He turns his head, staying silent. 
"Stop insulting yourself, not when you can praise yourself instead. You managed to throw away seven bottles. Seven. That's so many." 
He looks away and inhales shakily. 
"Say it Jungkook", you stress and shake him softly. 
"Say what?" 
"Say that you are proud of yourself." 
He grinds his teeth, picking at the skin of his nailbeds. He doesn’t want to say that he is proud because he isn’t. You know that this is what's stopping him. 
"I didn't even pour them down, you did." 
"Doesn’t matter, say that you are proud of yourself." 
He huffs out air, reaching for his face to pick at the fluff on his cheek. 
"Go on Bunny", you encourage him. 
"I'm…" he falls silent and sneaks a glance your way, "that’s stupid." 
"Nuh-uh that’s not what you’re supposed to say. Tell me that you are proud of yourself." 
"I'm proud of myself", he whispers.
"Yes! Yes you are!" you exclaim and laugh proudly, wrapping your arm around him, "why are you proud of yourself Jungkook?" 
He punches his own thigh, swaying from side to side as you shake him softly. 
"I threw away booze." 
"Yes exactly, you did that. You managed to do that." 
Jungkook sniffles, sneaking another glance your way. 
"I'm proud of myself for throwing away booze", the words trembled as they rolled off his tongue. His eyes stayed focused on yours. 
"Yeah you are. Gosh, I’m so happy to hear that", you say, cupping his cheek.
Jungkook exhales through his mouth and leans into your touch. He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them and jumping to his feet. 
"Where are you going?" you ask him, following him back inside and down the stairs. 
Jungkook is going straight for the kitchen and takes the first booze bottle he sees. He opens it, discarding the cap in the trash bag. Then he stumbles to the sink and stops. He looks over his shoulder at you. You give him a reassuring smile. 
Jungkook turns back to the sink and lifts the bottle. One tilt and the liquid flows down the drain loudly. 
"Yes! That's so good", you exclaim and laugh.
Jungkook laughs too, he laughs and laughs and laughs until suddenly he sobs. He drops the empty bottle and buries his face in his hands. 
"Hey Kook, hey it's alright you've done very well", you gasp, hurrying to his side. 
Jungkook sobs miserably. You pull his hands away, expecting pain but instead you meet a smile. 
And you understand. That's not pain, that’s relief. This is the realisation that nothing will hurt him when he discards his booze. This is the enlightenment that all those fears were for nothing.
"It feels good doesn’t it?" 
"Y-yes", he stutters and laughs in a sob, "it feels so good." 
He laughs, sobs and laughs again. He rubs his face aggressively, fighting with his tears.
"Fuck, what’s happening to me?" 
"That's normal, just let it happen", you promise him.
He looks into your eyes, allowing the hot tears to stream down his face.
"Give, give me another one.”
And so you do. You hand him another bottle and watch as he opens it and empties it down the sink. And he sobs as he does it, and he laughs as he does it, and he wheezes for air afterwards, staring at you with relieved happiness. 
"One more?" you ask him, feeling your own eyes tear up in happiness.
He nods his head. 
You turn to the counter and take one bottle. There are five more left afterwards. All of them are whiskey. 
"Here you go", you hand him the last bottle of soju and watch as he opens it and empties it without regret. 
He throws the empty bottle in the box and stares at the whiskey bottles. He falls silent. 
"Fuck." 
You drape your arm across his waist. 
"This one is the hardest isn’t it?" 
"Yes." 
"Tell me why." 
"Because…" he exhales shakily, "...it's become part of me." 
"And you want it to be part of you?" 
"I don't know. ___ what if I can’t do this?" 
"Well, I think you can because you are a strong man and you can do anything."
"I'm not strong." 
"Jungkook you've fucking survived until now. You are strong." 
"Fuck", he chokes out, face contorting as he sobs. He seems changed, like you just told him the revelation to life itself when in reality all you did was make him aware of the fact that he kept on fighting even through the hardest days.
"See? You are stronger than you think." 
Jungkook sobs and lowers himself until his forehead is pressed against his arms on the counter. 
"Fuck", he presses out and grunts. He hits the counter and curses again. You let him. You know that this fight is the kind he needs to get through alone, you can stay by his side and rub his back, but his brain needs to do the last push. 
"I can do this", he whispers, straightening up enough to stare at the bottles, "fuck." 
He hits the counter and hits it again. 
"Do it", he says loudly, "do it Jungkook." 
He reaches for the first bottle and opens it. 
"No, it's not-" 
"Yes it's possible. Don't give up now."
He looks at you as if he just remembered that you were with him. He whimpers and pushes himself off the counter. 
"Help me." 
You wrap your hand around the bottle too. 
"Look at me Jungkook." 
Jungkook looks at you and furrows his brows when he can hear the first trickle of alcohol. He wants to see, wants to watch it go down the drain untouched and unused. But you don’t allow him.
"Keep looking at me", you encourage him, tilting the bottle up further.
Jungkook can feel how much lighter the bottle becomes with the seconds. Until all of a sudden. Silence. 
He lets out the breath he wasn’t even aware of holding and turns to the sink. It’s gone. You lower the bottle and take it out of his hand. 
You discard it in the box. 
"I did it", he whispers. 
"You did it. I'm so proud of you." 
He laughs, "holy shit I did it."
"I know", you say and laugh with him.  
He turns to you, "___ I did it." 
"I know, it's so great." 
He breaks the distance between him and you and picks you up to twirl you through the kitchen. 
"I did it", he exclaims and giggles.
"Gosh Bunny, I’m gonna get dizzy" you squeal, clutching his shoulders tightly. 
Jungkook stops, pressing your back against the fridge. 
"I love you", he whispers, glassy eyes filled with adoration. 
"Oh?" your heart skips a beat, "Jungkook I…"
Jungkook slides you down the fridge slowly until your feet touch the ground again. Then he steps closer and buries his face in the crook of your neck, arms wrapped around you safely.
"Thank you so much", he breathes, squeezing you softly. 
You squeeze your eyes shut. Your nose is buried in his shoulder, taking in nothing else than his scent. It is so overwhelming and yet you can’t get enough of it. So you wrap your arms around him and pull him closer. You feel a tear run down your cheek. So this is how it feels like to be loved. 
"Don't thank me, it was all on you." 
"No", he lifts his head, cupping your cheek, "no it wasn’t. You made me do it."
"I did?" you breathe. 
"Thank you so much." 
"Fuck Jungkook." 
He smiles and leans closer. He stops, eyes flitting to your lips. 
"Can I kiss you?" 
"Yes", you breathe, closing your eyes in anticipation. 
You gasp when the kiss happens, twisting his hair between your fingers. His lips taste of tears, salty. And somehow you are glad that they do, because on most days they tasted of whiskey instead. 
Jungkook steps closer and lifts you again. You squeak softly, grasping his shoulders and wrapping your legs around his waist. You have never been lifted before. It feels so weird to experience. 
Jungkook breaks the kiss to gaze at you with a smile. You try to retort it, but end up gawking in surprise when Jungkook does the unthinkable of breaking away from the fridge and carrying you through the kitchen.
"Jungkook what are you doing?" you squeak, clasping him tightly.
"You're so cute", he chuckles, walking to the chaise lounge in his living room. It was placed right next to the tall windows, giving view to the city below. The clouds have broken up by now, revealing the streets in messy shreds. 
He places you down on the chaise lounge and claims the spot between your legs. You gasp and look to the side. The street looks so far away. 
"What's wrong?" he asks, staring at your widened eyes.
"Please look at how small the cars are", you say and turn, almost pressing your nose against the glass as you stare outside, "the people look like ants oh my god." 
Jungkook grins and looks outside. He is so used to the view, but he thinks it is exciting today because you were so excited about it. 
You do the one thing Jungkook sometimes does when lies on his chaise lounge and is bored. You stick out your finger and pretend to be the one pushing the cars over the roads. Jungkook feels himself fall even more in love with you in that moment. He had wanted to kiss you until you wanted to connect with him even more, but changed his mind right in that moment. This right here was even better.
"Like toys", you say and chuckle softly. Jungkook smiles and tugs your hair behind your ear. You are so perfect to him. 
"Okay that's lowkey fun", you murmur. 
"Right?" he says and rests on top of you. His cheek is pressed against your chest, your left hand is rubbing up and down his back and his eyes are following your fingers. 
Jungkook lifts his pointer finger and pretends to push the car of the opposite traffic, making little motor sounds. You giggle. The cars are coming closer and closer. Jungkook giggles too. Closer and closer. Will you crash? 
"Oooh..aaand...bam", he says, making explosion gestures with his hand while mimicking an explosion with his mouth. 
You laugh, looking down at him. 
He sneaks a glance up at you and grins cutely. 
"We crashed." 
"You stupid noodle", you giggle, ruffling his hair. 
He smiles and then looks back at the road, finding a new car to push. He makes little motor sounds quietly, almost as if he was lost in his own world. You find a new car too after sneaking one last glance down at him. He is your boyfriend now. Holy shit. Maybe it will not be as bad as you feared it would be. 
"Oh watch out", you gasp and mimic squeaking tires as your car barely manages to pass Jungkook's. 
Jungkook laughs softly.
"Oh that was close", you giggle, finding a new car. 
He giggles, rubbing his nose against you like a cuddly bunny. 
"Now this one, wroom wroom wroooom. Watch out Kookie here it comes", you say, making motor sounds as you push a big bus. Jungkook giggles and feels his heart flutter in his chest. This is so much more fun when he can do it with you. 
"No ___ what are you doing? This is the wrong lane", he murmurs before boom big explosion as your cars collide with each other. You both laugh and giggle, soon finding new cars to push.
And so you and him continue playing gods with unsuspecting cars, making up all sorts of silly stories as you go and it is fun, really and truly fun. You laughed so much that your bellies ached and later when the sun was high above the skyscrapers you fell asleep together, sharing a soft cotton blanket and cuddling the other tightly. Jungkook will empty the remaining four bottles of whiskey even later that day and he will do so with tears of relief streaming down his face while you rub his back and tell him that you are proud of him.
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You meet again on Saturday for coffee and cake in a zombie themed café, which you found on the internet. He came earlier than you, sitting by the window and looking at every passerby with his heart skipping a beat. He felt so nervous, checking his watch every five seconds. You were ten minutes late. It was not a worrying time, perhaps public transport had a delay or spontaneous change in schedule, but it made Jungkook anxious nonetheless. Would you really come? What if you changed your mind? What if you are going to let him wait in this café for hours and never show up? Should he have picked you up at home? Were you expecting him to pick you up?
Jungkook’s eyes widen.
“Wait, did we agree that I pick her up?” he murmurs to himself, raking his brain for answers.
He thinks that they didn’t. He would remember if they did. Or would he? After all his brain is literally mush from withdrawal lately. Just yesterday he couldn’t even remember the passcode to his own apartment and had to call security for help. And this morning he forgot how to use his washing machine and had to skim through the manual.
Jungkook feels his stomach twist.
“Oh god what if I forgot?” he gasps, throwing his hand over his mouth.
He can’t even check up on you because you haven’t given him your number yet. What if he ruined everything now?
Jungkook begins fidgeting nervously, picking at the fluff on his cheeks without even realising that he does it. He ruined it. He ruined it. Oh god he ruined - 
“Hey, sorry I’m late.”
Jungkook raises his head. His mind clears in an instance, a smile replaces his frown.
“Hey”, he jumps to his feet, grasping your hands, “you’re here.”
“Yeah I’m here. Sorry for being late, I took the wrong bus and had to walk like three hundred miles to get here”, you say.
“That’s alright I wasn’t even waiting for so long”, he assures you, “here do you want to sit on the bench? The cushion is very comfortable, it’s shaped like a brain, which is funny”, he says, dragging you to the spot he had previously been sitting in, “here have my brain – I, I mean seat.”
You plop down with a low grunt, watching him clumsily sit down on the chair next to you.
“That wasn’t necessary, I could have taken the chair.”
Jungkook is leaning on the table with his elbows, bent forward to get closer to you and cheeks squished between his hands as he grins at you goofily.
“It’s fine I like chairs”, he says.
Fuck he really is so whipped for you, you think as you study his lovedrunk features. 
“What do you want to drink? I wanted to order and surprise you, but then I thought that that’d be kinda a violation of your freewill so I didn’t order and just waited. Did you have a good drive? Also we need to exchange numbers because I tried to call you, but couldn’t because I don’t have your number. Also how are you doing? Gosh I missed you so much, I was going crazy”, he babbles.
You snort, “were you always rambling that much?”
He closes his mouth and blushes.
“Sorry”, he murmurs, “sorry I know I’m making no sense, but I’m just so excited. I want to tell you a million things and listen to your million things and I”, he blushes even more, “and I am starting to ramble again, I’m sorry I’ll shut up now.”
“No don’t, it’s adorable and to answer your questions. Yes, let’s exchange numbers. I am fine, just a little exhausted. I had a good drive and I have no idea what I wanna drink because I have no idea what places like these offer.”
“Wait, I'll get you a menu!”
And like that he is off his chair and by the counter, asking for a menu. You couldn’t even stop him. He runs back to you once he has gotten it, plopping down on the chair.
“Here for you”, he says, sticking the neon green menu all up in your face.
“Thank you”, you accept it with a chuckle, opening it and skimming through it. The drinks and foods all have zombie themed names. Brainsplatter, fresh guts (spaghetti with tomato sauce), chewed off toe. It was exactly how you had hoped they would be called.
You know that he is watching you and it is making you nervous.
“Do you already know what you’re going to get?” you ask him.
“No, but take your time.”
Your eyes meet. He is grinning, eyes sparkling in the lights.
“What?” you ask him.
“I just don’t ever want to stop looking at you”, he says and sighs dramatically, sagging his shoulders, “you’re so beautiful.”
“Stop it”, you hiss, hiding your face behind the menu.
A second later you can feel it being tugged away and soon you can spot Jungkook’s big eyes peeking at you over the edge. He blinks a few times, most definitely starting to smile as the corners of his eyes are starting to crinkle.
“Fine god”, you groan, dropping the menu, “you’re so adorable Bunny, it’s unbelievable” you murmur, cupping his cheeks to pull him into a sweet kiss.
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He rolls over, mewling a second later when you sink down on his cock again. It was a Tuesday when you saw him again. He took the first appointment, strutting through your door with his red mask on and his body wrapped in a grey tweed suit. You talked for a little before you both couldn’t take it any longer. You ripped off your masks, undressed messily while you kissed and he ate your pussy until your juices were covering his chin. Then he fucked you from behind, pulling your hips on his cock over and over and over again until it became too much for you and him and you climaxed together. That was when you slipped off of him, pushed him onto the mattress and sank down on him to ride him through his overstimulation.
“I can barely handle it, holy shit this is too much”, he sobs, writhing beneath you as his nimble fingers grasp your hips.
“Yeah you can Bunny, now shut up and give me your cock, you good-for-nothing fucktoy”, you taunt, wrapping your fingers around his throat.
Jungkook moans, face contorting in surprised pleasure.
“Holy shit”, he chokes out, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and arching his back. So you squeeze his throat harder, watching his eyelids flutter and his eyes roll back.
“It’s nice, right? Can you feel how your brain is begging for blood?” you taunt, slamming your hips down on his cock.
“Y-yes mistress”, he chokes out, squeezing your wrist.
“How does it make you feel?”
“Fucking incredible”, he lets out in a growl, you can feel his voice vibrate against your fingertips, "don't stop please don’t fucking stop."
“Fuck Bunny, you’re driving me insane.”
You were aching to cum. You can fucking look at Jungkook when you fuck him. You know the way his cheeks look when they flush, know the way his lips part in a desperate gasp for air, know the way his forehead creases when he furrows his brows in pleasure. You also know how his black hair looks like sticking to his sweaty face and you realised that he has the tendency to bite down on his lower lip and roll it between his teeth when you touch his nipples.
So you touch them, tugging on them harshly.
“Ah”, he lets out, biting down on his lower lip in an instance. You squeeze his throat and punish him with a harsh bounce up and down his throbbing length.
“You’re really driving me insane”, you grunt, pinching his other nipple.
Jungkook releases his lip and mewls. His right hand falls to your hips, fingers digging into your flesh bruisingly tightly.
“I wanna cum”, he confesses, opening his eyes just enough to be able to look at you. He is so into this. He can look at you. He knows how your face looks when he fucks you. He decided that you look even better than you did in his imagination.
You squeeze his throat and draw closer until your lips are touching.
“Then fucking do it”, you rasp, pulling away just to be able to watch how his face looks like when you let go of his throat and make the blood shoot back into his brain.
His eyes roll back so far into his skull you only see white, his jaw locks tightly, lips curling back to show his teeth as he grinds them and grunts deeply. Then he shakes and you can feel his hot cum cover every inch of your pussy. His mouth falls open, eyelids fluttering and neck tensing. So that’s how he looks when he orgasms.
“Fucking hell Bunny”, you moan, feeling the coil in your stomach break as you climax on top of him so hard that you feel like someone punched the air out of your lungs.
You collapse on top of him after twenty seconds of feeling breathless, making him slip out of you with a wet sound. His cum gushes everywhere, how wonderful this is going to take ages to clean up. Your legs feel like jelly, your chest fills with so much warmth.
“Fucking hell”, he groans and wraps his arms around you.
“Mhm indeed”, you murmur, drooling on his chest.
“Why are you so good at sex?”
You laugh.
“I had lots of practice.”
“No but you’re literally inhuman. Are you a succubus or something?”
“That’d be a fun roleplay”, you raise your head, “I’m the starving succubus visiting you in your sleep. I wake you with my lips wrapped around your throbbing cock and as you wake up, you realise that I tied your limbs to the bedposts. You’re scared at first but soon find yourself trembling in my touch as I milk your body from all the pleasure you have to offer.”
“Okay that would literally be so hot. Can we do that?”
“Now?” you laugh.
“Not now, someday. Maybe not here”, he dances his hands down to your ass to caress it softly, “maybe at my place when you stay over again.”
“You wanna have sex outside this place?”
He laughs in disbelief and furrows his brows.
“Yeah? Why not?”
“Wouldn’t that be weird?”
“Why would that be weird? We’re dating.”
He laughs in disbelief again, propping himself up on his elbows.
“Why would that be weird?” he asks sadly.
You gnaw on your lower lip then lower your eyes.
“I don’t know, I just…”
You look back at Jungkook. He is confused, just as you are. You don’t know why you are acting so weird right now or why the thought of you and Jungkook fucking anywhere other than this room is scaring you so much, but it does. Maybe it is because it just reminded you once again that another person was depending on you and in return you had a person to lose and so you panicked.
“Please talk to me ___.”
“That’s so intimate. What would we even do?”
Jungkook laughs in confusion, “have sex? Just like we do here, but without the awful house music and the smell of strangers and your boss literally exploiting you.”
“Hush, oh my god, don’t say that”, you hiss, pressing your hand over his mouth and looking over your shoulder at the very locked door.
Jungkook shakes your hand off, licking his lips and furrowing his brows.
“It’s the truth.”
“Don’t say that Bunny please”, you whisper, pressing him down into the pillows and hovering over him. You muffle him with both hands, staring into his eyes. He looks at you with unconditional trust in his gaze. You exhale shakily and take away your hands, “I’m sorry for doing that.”
“It’s alright”, he assures you and reaches up to tug a strand of hair behind your ear, “why are you scared that she hears you? It’s the truth and you know that it is. You shouldn’t have to give away eighty percent of your money, not when you have to accept shitty fucks from shitty dudes.”
“It, it’s right that way. They use the money to keep the club nice and give u-us girls good health care a-and food and a home. It’s used for us.”
“I’m sorry, but that sounds more like manipulation to me than anything else. Hey, give me eighty percent of your income so you can stay poor and never escape this life. And as you continue being dependent on me taking care of your basic human needs, I make money off of you and pretend as if I am doing it for you.”
“Why are you saying this?”
“I’m just saying ___, you and the other girls should earn enough money that you don’t have to depend on your fucking employer to pay for your health care and your food and your home.”
You lower your head, “what should I do? It’s not like anyone wants to hire a twenty five year old prostitute with no educational background or academic knowledge.”
“Quit this job and let me take care of you.”
“What?”
“Quit it, I will take care of you until you know what you want to do. You can go to university and study however many majors you want, you can start an apprenticeship somewhere, you can volunteer or stay at home and do nothing.”
“No”, you shake your head, “no don’t say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s too much”, you say and sit up to roll off him.
Jungkook chases you, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to you. He drapes his arm across your hips, caressing it softly. He leans down and kisses your naked shoulder.
“Don’t do that”, you hiss, shaking him off.
He blinks and furrows his brows.
“Hey…my love”, he whispers, resting his cheek on your shoulder.
“Get off of me”, you hiss and push him away so harshly that he falls down on his elbows.
“___”, he gasps.
You stare at him.
You can see that it hurt him. His eyes, which are normally so sparkly in the presence of you, become lifeless and sad.
“Sorry for pushing you” now you are panicking because you fear that you went too far with being distant. After all, you didn’t want to actually push him away, you just wanted to keep a little safe distance between you and him, “I don’t know why I did that, sorry", you say and stumble on top of his lap, wrapping your arms around him and resting your cheek on his chest.
Jungkook exhales loudly, grinding his teeth.
“Please give me time. I don’t want to quit my job just yet, please.”
Jungkook sneaks a glance at you and blinks quickly to get rid of the burn in his eyes.
“Does that mean that you want to have sex with other men beside me?”
“What?” you lift your head and gawk at him.
“That’s what that means. You have sex for a living ___.”
“I, I”, you swallow heavily, “Jungkook I’m sorry, no it’s, it’s not like that. It’s j-just that I, I”, you grunt and force down a panicky gag, “we can hang on every day”, you try and stare into his eyes.
Holy shit, holy shit. You are so scared and nervous. What are you saying? What should you say? What is happening to you? Why are you so panicky right now?
“Hang?”
You nod your head vigorously, “I make my Wednesday my Bunny day and you can come here a-and then we can meet on other days whenever, except Tuesday and Thursday,.”
He lets out a breathy laugh and looks to the side, “well, that’s…I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you not want to hang?” you gasp.
“Of course I want to”, he pouts, “what the hell? I thought we were seeing each other and now you just want to hang on Wednesdays and whenever.”
“I told you, we can hang on other days too.”
“Don’t call it hanging.”
“Well what else should I call it?”
“Spending time together, seeing each other, being with each other. I don’t know, just not something so casual.”
“Okay then let’s spend time together on Wednesdays and on Saturdays? Then I’ll clear my schedule for you on Wednesday and on Saturday we can do whatever we want to do.”
“Does it really have to be so scheduled? What if I wanted to see you on Friday or Monday or Tuesday?”
“Then you’d have to call Miss Boss and ask her if I’m still available.”
He lowers his head.
“Sorry”, you blurt out panicky, “I work from Tuesday to Thursday, but I’m free any other day. And I make Wednesday your day. Jungkook please”, you say and cup his face.
Now you pushed him away too much. You need to tug him back, keep him close so he doesn’t end up running away. You don’t want to lose him. You really don’t.
“Okay yeah, uhm”, he sneaks a glance your way, “I’ll see what I can do.”
And with that he pushes you off of him, stumbling to the bathroom with his head hanging low.
You stare at the empty doorway, fearing that maybe this isn’t going to be as easy as you believe it would be.
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taegularities · 2 days ago
Text
begin (teaser) | jjk (m)
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Summary: “Being a human isn’t that bad when he gets to be one with you by his side.”
Before everything shatters like a mirage of an impossible dream, you teach Jungkook how to live a fulfilling life far from Heaven. His numb heart starts to gradually light up again; you make him begin believing in love and hope when not even starting afresh could. But then… everything shatters.
PUBLISHING DATE: October 9th
pairing: Jungkook x reader
genre: s2f2l, fallen angel / fantasy!au; fluff, angst, smut
warnings: major and minor character death (but the fic has a happy ending nw), themes of death / rebirth / illness, bad childhood / foster parents, not exactly biblically correct - i took some liberty with these themes (no insults or anything offending tho!), jk is mean at first but softens up and becomes the sweetest guy ever, swearing; explicit sexual content: outdoor foreplay, handjob, oral (f. receiving), groping, fingering, soft dom!jk, lots of kissing, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill just for him, be careful guys), dirty talk, jk’s goddamn muscles and moans gawd
teaser word count: 772 (26-27k for the full fic)
a/n: first of all, LOOK AT THIS BANNER BY @ddaechwita​​, I’M SO IN LOVE STILL !!!!! T_T tysm bb <3 this fic was written for the wings collab hosted by @missgeniality​​ who’s also beta’ing this fic and listened to me ramble about it for months, along with @jimilter​​, my talented lil goofball who encourages me nonstop !! thank you for making fallen angel jk (and the summary smh) so much better <3
 will be uploaded to AO3, too!
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TAGLIST
MASTERLIST | WIPs
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“How did you manage to ruin a kite?”
You pout at him, hissing when you fall next to him and onto the long material of your coat. “Hey, I’ve been flying kites for years and this…” You eye the tear in the nylon, furrowing your eyebrows. “...happened for the first time ever. That’s just sad.”
Jungkook’s inspecting the kite as if his glare can make it whole again; but you’re endeared by anything he does as you look at him through rose-tinted, imagined glasses. Even now, you watch his skilled, veiny hands fiddle with the damage, trying to repair it god knows how as you shake your head.
“I’m an idiot. Imagine destroying something that other people use for years without problems,” you say, pulling your legs to your torso and placing your cheek on your knees. You smile at him the moment he smirks teasingly, but the smile soon morphs into a chuckle when he ruins the kite even further.
“Don’t worry about it. If you hadn’t, then I definitely would’ve broken my kite somehow,” he declares, playfully nudging your shoulder with his. You see the way he gulps - see his Adam’s apple move as he does so before he adds timidly, “I’ve never done this before.”
You gasp at his words, suddenly remembering the initial struggle he went through only minutes ago. Now, things begin to make sense. With a shocked voice and expanding eyes, you say, “Kite flying? In your twenty-four years, you haven’t done it once?”
Jungkook shakes his head, a type of melancholy coming over his features that has your smile already falling before he begins to explain, “I spent falls and winters at home, because my foster parents would tell me I’d get sick if I played outside too much.”
He  shrugs his shoulders, looking at you for another second before his face sinks to examine the kite further. “Then they’d proceed to warn me to take care of myself while they ran some errands. But in truth they would go out with their actual kids and do fun stuff that I could only hear about later.”
The silence that follows his words is a little louder than it should be; not necessarily awkward, but dimming the brightness of the afternoon nevertheless. You hate that full adults can scar a child enough for him to remember an emotion or happening his remaining life. You genuinely doubt that someone like Jungkook deserves the treatment he went through or the sorrow he still seems to feel.
“And now?” you ask, your left hand settling on his in empathy and stilling his movements.
“And now…”
“Do you think flying your first kite with me made up for it?”
He looks down at you, your eyelashes brushing your cheeks as you let your eyelids flutter shut and your nose scrunching slightly as you take in the scent of the season. You tremble again in the shadow of the tree, the sky always so grey and the sun hiding its soothing warmth. Jungkook’s body shifts closer almost unconsciously, his hand twitching to reach out for yours but refraining for some unknown reason.
Something in him wants to spoil and pamper you despite being the one to pour out his heart to you; he wants to engulf you in his warmth and let you know that it’s okay to sometimes admit that the world isn’t treating you well. Even if it’s about something as simple as the cold that the October day entails.
You never stop smiling - and he wants you to know that it’s alright to let your heart fall sometimes.
He bites the inside of his cheek with a weird, giddy feeling before he nods and says, “I think it does. And… maybe it’s better to experience some things late than never, right?” You nod along, taking a deep breath to fill your lungs with the fresh and crisp oxygen in the park. “Instead of dwelling on what could have been or what someone said or did when life was still… unkind.”
That’s when you drag his fingers away from the kite and stop his attempt to repair something that’s already broken, intertwining them with yours again and soaking in his warmth. “You can stop now,” you let him know, leaning in closer into him, “it’s okay. I got to fly it for a moment at least.”
Jungkook swallows the knot in his throat; blends out the sound of children running around and concentrates on his beating, alive, kind of mortal heart instead. Being a human isn’t that bad when he gets to be one with you by his side.
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stay tuned !! if u want to be added to the taglist - it’s at the top of the post! and if u liked the small teaser, let me know what u think or just chat with me if u’d like !! <3
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agustdakasuga · 2 days ago
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Everything Between Us | Chapter 17
Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff
Pairing: OT7 x Reader
Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook
Summary: They left you without a goodbye, they broke your heart. You didn’t get your happily ever after. But now they’re back and they’re searching for you to make things right. Could you take them back into your life and let them back into your heart?
Things can finally start to be normal again. And there’s a lot of missed moments to catch up on.
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You stood in front of their door again, a whole new kind of nervousness washing over you. You thought about it for a week before calling them and asking them to meet so you could all talk. Of course, they readily agreed and invited you over to their house.
*DING DONG*
There was the pounding of footsteps and the door opened. You gulped as the door opened and the 7 of them were standing there. Suddenly, your brain stopped and you just froze.
“(y/n), are you alright, baby?” Jungkook asked.
“Y-Yeah, sorry.” You chewed on your lip as you hung your head. They shook their heads with assurance and invited you in. You removed your shoes but stood there.
“Sit, it’s okay. Do you want a drink?” Jin offered with a kind smile. You thought about it for a while.
“Yes, please.” You said softly, sitting down. You wanted to discuss this with a clear mind but you needed alcohol to help you relax as well. Right now, you were as stiff as a board. Even as you sat on the couch, the boys could see how tense your posture was. You sat upright with your knees together and your hands folded over lightly.
“Here.” Yoongi handed you some whiskey.
“Thank you.” You received it with two hands before taking a small sip. Slowly, your shoulders dropped and your nerves calmed very slightly. They all sat around you.
“I’ve thought about it...” You started.
“There’s no use being mad anymore. It... It happened... And being like this is obviously having a toll on all of us.” You looked at all of them.
“We just want you to be comfortable and happy with whatever you decide. Even if it’s with us or not.” Taehyung forced a smile. You could tell that they all haven’t slept much as well, like you.
“At first, I kept asking myself why you guys decided so quickly to just leave, instead of working it out with me. But then, I... I realised that the reason why it happened was not within our control, was it? At that time, you just did what you thought was right.” You said.
“Of course. We just wanted to keep you safe, even if it ended up hurting all of us, we couldn’t see you hurt anymore.” Jimin agreed.
“I don’t want to make this decision for all of us. This works both ways. So I would like to know what you all think about this. What do you think we should do?” You asked. They were all shocked.
“B-But-”
“I know you guys prioritise what I want and I am very grateful for that. But I need to know what you guys expect too.” You fiddled with your fingers.
“We know things can never go back to the way it was, after all that happened. But to be honest, we did always hold on to the hope of being together again. Start afresh together.” Hoseok spoke for everyone, who nodded in agreement.
“I see...” You nodded. With your response, the boys’ hearts began to sink. Maybe they were wrong for thinking that you would readily come back to them now that they’ve told you the real reason why they left. Apprehension was obvious all over your face. No one else said anything as they waited for you to speak and share your thoughts.
“There’s no doubt that I still care for all of you deeply. I think starting afresh is a good idea but I just need you guys to know that it’s going to take some time for me.” You said.
“D-Definitely! We’ll take things slow.” Taehyung stuttered.
“But can you guys promise to just tell me if things arise next time? To spare the heartbreak.” You tried to joke to lighten the atmosphere.
“We promise there won’t be a next time.” A smile grew on Jungkook’s face. You hummed with a soft smile.
“Alright, then let’s try again.” You agreed. Standing up, you gave the boys each a long hug. Jungkook was crying and you cupped his cheeks in your hands, wiping his tears.
“Don’t cry, Koo.” You calling him that made him cry even more.
“I missed you so much.” He cried as he hugged you tightly, burying his face into your shoulder. You felt your own tears prick the corner of your eyes as you finally let yourself go. All the anger, the resentment, the worry, the heartbreak, everything slowly started to vanish.
“I’m just glad you guys are okay.” You whispered, covering your eyes with one hand. Someone grasped your wrist, gently tugging it away.
“We were never too far from you, my love. And it’s okay, everything is okay now. No more worries.” Namjoon wiped your tears with a comforting smile, his dimple popping through.
“I have a question.” Taehyung raised his hand.
“Yes?” You chuckled. 
“If we’re trying again, does that mean there’s nothing going on between you and that annoying medical kid?” He asked. 
“Are you talking about Jaehyun? Gosh, no. There was never anything between us. He was just a junior... that wanted to get an advancement in his job.” You raised an eyebrow with a laugh. 
“Okay, good. Because if he wants an advancement in something, I’ll give him an advancement. To his grave.” Taehyung frowned. Everyone burst out laughing, even if the other 6 did share the same sentiment towards Jaehyun when they first saw him. They were always suspicious about how he followed you around. 
“Well, what are your plans now? Is this your new permanent house?” You asked them. 
“We’ve been discussing it. There’s nothing wrong with this penthouse, of course. It’s just... smaller than we’re used to. But we have been looking out for a new house.” Hoseok explained. 
“It doesn’t have to be as big as the old place. As we’ve said before, we’re going to keep work life and our private life as separate as possible.” Yoongi added. 
“What about you? Are you planning on staying at the hospital?” Jin turned the question to you. 
“For now, probably.” You shrugged. The boys didn’t look comfortable with that answer but didn’t say anything. Of course, you weren’t going to quit and become their in-house private doctor again. Things needed to be slow and there was a lot of catching up to do. 
“Do you have anything else you want to ask us?” Namjoon asked. 
“Nothing... I guess a part of me is relieved about the weird fires and injuries that’s been happening... It’s unfair that innocent people got caught in the middle of it...” You sighed. 
“There was a reason why they were never investigated. All just treated as natural caused fires.” Jimin said. 
“That’s horrible.” You shivered. 
“But he’s gone now, he can’t hurt anyone anymore.” Taehyung patted your shoulders. You nodded in agreement, still feeling sad for all the lives wasted just because someone was selfish and played dirty to win. 
“Would you like to have dinner with us?”  Yoongi invited. 
“Sure.” You turned to see the sun starting to set in the distance. Yes, you needed half a day to get yourself ready to come here to talk to them. Yoongi and Jin stood up, going to the kitchen to get the ingredients out for the meal tonight. Habitually, you followed them with the intention of helping. For some reason, your heart was racing. 
“Are you okay?” Jin held your hand. 
“Yeah.” You nodded. 
“You should sit, let us do the cooking.” Yoongi said. You shook your head with an assuring smile. The thought of having a meal with them made you nervous so you wanted to keep yourself busy. 
“Yes, Koo?” You looked up and saw him sitting at the bar counter, staring right at you. 
“Nothing.” He shook his head but continued to look at you. Jungkook just couldn’t believe that you were here again, calling him ‘Koo’ and cooking with his hyungs. One thing he hated the most when you were still angry with them, was you calling him ‘Jungkook’.
“You’re creeping her out, buddy.” Hoseok laughed at the youngest as he tried his best to help Yoongi at the stove. 
“I’m not! I’m not... am I?” Jungkook turned to you. 
“Don’t worry.” You chuckled, drying the rest of the vegetables before taking a knife to start the chopping. Jin stood beside you to start dicing the chicken for stir frying. 
“Have you been taking care of your injuries, Koo? Eating painkillers?” You tried to make conversation. 
“I haven’t been eating painkillers. Everything else is fine but I can’t wait to get this brace off, it’s annoying to drag it around.” Jungkook sighed in frustration. 
“Well, I’m glad the others feel fine. Once the brace is off, you can start physio and you’ll be fine.” You smiled. Jungkook gave his bunny pout but nodded his head sullenly. 
“But if you aren’t doing anything, do you want to help babysit Kookie?” You offered in an attempt to console him. His eyes lit up as he nodded excitedly. You chuckled and moved over to give Yoongi the vegetables that you had cut up for him. After that, you washed your hands and went to the fridge, only to realise that you might be getting too comfortable here. 
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung appeared behind you, his chest pressed against your back to open the fridge for you. 
“I shouldn’t be treating this place like my home.” You shook your head. 
“Jagi, we would want nothing more than for you to get comfortable and treat this place like your home. Help yourself to anything, anywhere in this house.” He chuckled.
“O-Okay.” You reached out to get a bottle of soda while Taehyung got a packet of his juice out. He closed the fridge after you both got your drinks. 
“So, are you guys going back to work like normal now?” You slid onto the stool beside Jungkook. 
“Yeah. Hoseok hyung has gone back to track, Jungkook still views the fights and we have all gone back to the clubs. There’s no need for us to lay low anymore.” Jimin shrugged. That made sense, they could reign at the top of their empire again. 
“I’ve never been before with you guys but going there on my own, it was definitely big business.” You joked. 
“If you would like to go, we can escort you next time.” Namjoon smiled. 
“Absolutely not. My ring is not safe, the fights are never contained to the ring itself and fighters are never stable. I don’t want (y/n) there.” Jungkook was quick to decline. 
“Don’t you have a viewing gallery? I saw it there.” You asked. 
“I don’t trust my men to guard you properly, even if we are in a secure room.” He shook his head with insistence. 
“It’s okay! You can come see my race track!” Hoseok quickly cut through. You were going to say something but decided against it and just purse your lips, looking away. 
“Dinner is ready.” Jin changed the subject. The table was set as you helped move the filled bowls of rice over. It felt like your heart was in your throat as the dinner table was slowly filled. After all, the last time you were supposed to have a meal with them, they never turned up. You had to be informed by someone else that they left. 
“Sorry, let me use the washroom first.” You blurted out, making all 7 heads turn to look at you worriedly. 
“Second door to your right.” Yoongi directed. You nodded and quickly scurried out of there before they could ask you what was wrong. After closing the door and locking it, you leaned against it. 
“Calm down.” You placed a hand over your racing heart. 
“Just a meal... It’s just dinner.” You splashed your face with cold water before exiting the washroom. You put your best smile on as the 7 looked at you. 
“Are you okay?”
“I am, don’t worry.” You sat down with them. They all cast each other uneasy looks but sat down too. The meal started and you let out a small sigh of relief that it wasn’t awkward at all. 
“Food’s good. Thanks for cooking.” You smiled at Yoongi and Jin as you put a mouthful of rice and meat into your mouth. Yoongi placed a piece of kimchi on your rice out of habit. He always sat opposite you, even now, so he would do that from time to time. 
“Sorry, force of habit.” He shrugged it off coolly. 
“Thank you.” You put it into your mouth, not making a big deal out of it. But you did see his ears turn red slightly. 
After dinner was over, the boys definitely did not let you do the dishes. You sat in the living room with Yoongi and Jin, who were excused because they cooked, while the others did the dishes quickly. 
“Hmm, I should head home before it’s too late. I have an early shift tomorrow.” You said, looking at your watch. 
“One of us will send you home.” You watched in amusement as the 7 gathered together for an intense round of rock, paper, scissors. They played a few rounds until a winner was declared. 
“It’s not fair that I can’t drive because of my injury.” Jungkook complained. 
“Well, too bad.” Hoseok smirked and grabbed his keys. 
“Goodbye. Take care of yourself.” Namjoon patted your head. You smiled as you gave them all a goodbye hug. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you walked out. Hoseok opened the door for you to enter and you entered, fastening your seatbelt. Being the racer of the group, Hoseok always knew his way around cars and roads. 
“No racing, please.” You laughed. 
“Of course. We have precious cargo.” He joked as he pulled out of the apartment complex’s parking space and started to drive. You felt your cheeks heat up at his words. 
“Are you tired?” He asked. 
“Not really. You know I like a fast paced work life, that’s why I do the emergency room stuff.” You shrugged. 
“Well, I’m glad you’re doing something that makes you happy. That’s all I’d ever want for you.” He said as he drove. You hummed, looking out the window.
-
It had been a few days since you’ve seen the boys, they were good at respecting your space. You were on clinic shift the first half of the day and it was finally time for lunch. As you crossed the hospital lobby to head to the doctors’ office, Jaehyun stopped you. 
“Sunbae!” He came up to you. 
“Hey.” You raised a suspicious eyebrow at him, crossing your arms defensively. Ever since you told him off, you haven’t seen much of him around. He avoided you and you were thankful for that. 
“I’ve been wanting to speak with you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. You nodded your head. 
“(y/n).” Someone entered or someone-s. Jaehyun nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw the 7 suited males standing there, having come over. 
“What are you guys doing here? I’m not off work yet.” You blinked. 
“We came to join you for lunch. Are you done...? Or are you still... busy with something?” Yoongi asked, looking Jaehyun up and down, as did the others. You sighed, seeing Jaehyun now so fear stricken that he pursed his lips and his gaze wavered. Patting Jaehyun on the shoulder, you decided to leave with the boys, ushering them up the escalator. 
“Thought you said nothing was going on?” Jimin asked. 
“There isn’t. But he’s still a colleague here, a temporary one though. Anyway, you guys didn’t tell me that you were coming here. I would have left earlier.” You pointed out. 
“It’s okay. We wanted to surprise you.” Jin smiled, patting your head. You couldn’t let them into the staff lounge so you went to the public cafeteria.
“Here.” Namjoon placed a tray in front of you. You smiled gratefully as the boys followed you through the line. 
“Did you guys just come from work? You’re all dressed up. A level and a half above my scrubs.” You laughed as you sat down with them at a long table by the window, an attempt to get away from the peering eyes. 
“I think you look pretty in scrubs.” Jungkook grinned. You rolled your eyes with a snort as you took your usual seat between him and Hoseok, with Yoongi opposite you. It was like second nature now, to sit this way, it’s how you’ve always sat with them. 
“But to answer your question, we were not working, House hunting, which is proving to be a lot more complicated than we expected. And Jungkook is actually here for his appointment.” Namjoon explained. 
“I see. How did you choose your other house?” 
“It’s a property from Yoongi hyung’s family estate actually. So we didn’t choose it.” Taehyung said. 
“Oh, well I’m not working on Thursday if you need an extra person to go look.” You offered. All their heads turned to you, obviously not expecting you to offer your help to them. 
“R-Really?” 
“Yeah. Unless you don’t-
“NO- I mean, of course we would like your help.” The boys all sent you innocent smiles. You couldn’t help but laugh at how goofy they were but nodded your head. You did enjoy spending time with them, you missed them dearly, and this pace of starting over your relationship was going a lot faster than any of you have ever expected. 
“We’ll pick you up on Thursday then. Thank you.” Yoongi said. 
“You’re welcome. It’s exciting, isn’t it? A new house is like a new beginning.” You giggled, making the boys look at you in adoration. 
“You’re right, it is exciting. And what makes it even better is that you will be part of that new beginning.” Jin said softly, making you melt. Your heart raced, showing the effect they still had on you. 
“What time is your appointment?” You turned to Jungkook. 
“3pm.” He replied. 
“Alright, I’ll do your follow up. But I have to get someone to cover me for the next hour or so.” You took your phone out to send a message to your colleagues. Being understanding, they were quick to reply and agreed to hold down the fort until you returned. 
“Once we’re done here, we’ll head over to orthopaedics.” You said and Jungkook hummed. When everyone finished their food, the 8 of you went to the orthopaedic department. 
“Wait here while I sign you in.” They watched as you headed behind the counter with Jungkook’s ID and spoke to the receptionist. 
“She actually offered to go with us...” Hoseok said. 
“Yeah, that’s a good sign. At least we know we’re doing the right thing by being patient and moving at the pace that she wants.” Namjoon agreed and the other 6 nodded. 
~~
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btsarmy9593 · 17 hours ago
Anyone else wondering what Yoongi and his Birthday Girl are up to this weekend? Just me? Ok. 🤣
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Birthday Girl Drabble - Lazy Sunday - (September 26, 2021)
rating: PG
word count: 414
a/n: unedited and horribly self-indulgent fic, don't read until you've read part 13
series list
---
It’s still morning on this Sunday, halfway between breakfast and lunch when he finally gets up out of bed and stumbles to where you’re sitting. You’re on your third cup of tea, marking up a book recommended to you by your best friend.
You look over at him and smile.
The rumpled hair, glasses, black on black pajamas is one of your favorite Yoongi looks.
“Americano?” you ask, keeping your voice soft.
He grunts and heads to the kitchen. You chuckle and go back to your book. You’d make the americano for him, but he’s grumpy when you try and serve him when he’s already up.
It’s several minutes later that he comes back, steaming mug in hand and sits next to you. Despite the length of the couch, he squeezes in next to you like space is needed for some imaginary guests. He doesn’t say anything as he sips his coffee, looking over your shoulder as though he cares what you’re reading.
He doesn’t but he’s cute.
You turn your head once you find a stopping place in the text. “Morning.”
He kisses you, reaching out to set his mug on your coffee table. He pushes your book out of your hands, not unlike a petulant child. You giggle against his lips.
“Why yes, Yoongi, you may kiss me and distract me from my work.”
He grunts again, cupping your face in his hands and drawing back to look at you. You’re not sure how much he sees as his glasses are slightly fogged from your mingling breaths. You accommodate him, returning his kisses as you ease toward him and letting him fall back on the sofa with you on top.
“Hi.” you say when you pull back for a mini-break.
He blinks several times. “Hi.”
You shiver. His morning, sleepy voice always gives you tingles. You have no idea if he knows that yet and you’re not sure he needs more ammunition on how well he can unravel you.
You push his hair out of his eyes and he smiles at you.
“I can make you breakfast?”
He shakes his head, his arms wrapped around you. You rest your chin on his chest, your own eyes fluttering shut. He’s so warm and it’s definitely autumn outside, the chill evident even inside your house.
You’re drifting off to sleep, especially as he strokes your hair with one hand. You figure a mid-morning nap with your partner is a well-spent Sunday.
“Love you, jagiya.”
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youmyjhope · a day ago
May i request hoseok audio with female partner with him moaning and grunting?
it would be nicee. what's up with the hoseok requests 😆
honestly i only use this audio i remade. i remade the old iconic audio and added house of cards like i saw on ph from where it was deleted. i probably listened to it 1000 times. but lately im just so horny so i use it a lot again.
now who knows who tf moans like this. where is the original. it is the most beautiful sound on earth only real hoseok moans better.
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dreamescapeswriting · a day ago
Text
Airport Mayhem ~ KSJ [Request]
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WORD COUNT: 1.1K
PAIRING: Seokjin x Fem!Reader
GENRE: angst, family au, fluffy, fluffy ending, angry jin
A/N: I’m sorry that this is short but I hope its okay! Thank you so much for requesting and waiting for me to get to it 💞🥰 @virginialiketheamericanstate
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The crowds of screaming people were something you had grown accustomed to over the years of being with Jin. Something you had accepted was going to happen since the two of you were in a public relationship, it was something that scared you in the beginning but you were used to it now. Spending a lot of your time travelling with a guard to make sure that you were safe and your kids were well protected. It wasn't as though you thought any ARMY or reporters weren't going to hurt your kids it was all a precaution, in case an accident was to happen or something. It was also something you hadn't spoken to Jin about in a long time, he had no idea that you were followed around a lot by a group of fans. Something you decided to keep from him so he wouldn't be too upset with people. 
From the moment your car had pulled into the airport people had begun to flood into your personal space. Screaming questions at you and Jin, snapping photos of you both with flashes. Someone must have leaked where you were going to be that morning but it was hard to know who when so many people were in on the secret.
"Can you give us some room please?" Jin asked kindly as he stood in the airport, both you and him waiting for your tickets to be checked while you bounced your 3-year-old on your hip. She was scared of the mass amounts of people all yelling and crying around her as you did your best to calm her down. Small sniffles coming from her as she cuddled up to your shirt and the pink rabbit that Jin had gotten for her.
All three of you were heading home to Korea after going on a short break away from work, you'd taken your daughter to Disney World and she'd loved every moment of it. So had Jin, spending most of his time on the rides while you took your daughter around to meet the characters. It had been one of the most amazing holidays, no one had noticed that Jin was there and if they did they'd not walked up to him and asked for images until now.
Now it was swarms of people demanding photos and videos from him, screaming that they'd been waiting all night long to see him. Jin was clearly getting more and more annoyed with it as time passed, all he wanted to do was get onto the plane with you and head home.
"Jin, it's okay." You whispered sensing how angry he was with the crowds of people. His face beginning to turn a bright red colour as your daughter began to tear up, clutching onto your shirt. 
"Hey," You whimpered when someone barged into your shoulder, knocking you into your guard who instantly grabbed onto you tightly so you didn't fall. The pink rabbit slipped onto the floor and was snatched up by someone who then blended in with the rest of the crowd.
"Jin...They have her bunny." You whispered as you shh'd your daughter, rocking her a little as she screamed out for her favourite comfort doll. The bunny that hadn't left her side since the moment you'd brought her home from the hospital.
"Hey! Who did that?" Jin's voice felt as though it had travelled through the entire airport. The crowds of people were all silent as they stared at him, worried expressions on each of their faces as Jin turned to look at you and then around at them all. It was clear some of them were there for Jin calmly while others were the ones causing the huge mob and screams. 
Anger was beginning to bubble up inside of Jin at the thought of someone being that close to you, close enough to harm you and his child. Now that they had stolen a stuffed toy away from a child. From his child.
"Jin...It's fine, we're okay." You whispered once again but he shook his head. Clearly, he had had enough of this. There was nothing you would be able to say or do to make him feel better but you tried anyway. Not wanting ARMY to be upset with Jin or yourself, 
"Jin...I'm used to it-"
"You shouldn't be! You shouldn't have to be used to all of this!" You knew he wasn't meaning to yell at you, he was upset with everything. That you had to have a guard around you all of the time, that his kid couldn't go to a regular school because people would flood the gates. 
"One of you just nearly put my child in danger! Not to mention stole something from a three-year old." He called out, his voice calmer now but still yelling so that those around him could hear what he was about to say to them all. 
"I've asked so many times for space...Not just for Y/n's sake but for our daughters...What would have happened if she had fallen? Injured herself?" There wasn't even a murmur back to Jin as everyone avoided eye contact with him, choosing to stare down at the floor while Jin shook his head.
"Jin...Come on," You ushered trying to tug at his shirt toward the terminal but he wasn't done. They needed to understand that what they were doing was wrong, that they wouldn't be able to keep doing this every time he came out. 
"I will gladly met and take photos with people if you are calm, don't crowd around my family..." Jin looked at you, reaching for your hand and pulling you close to him so everyone could see you together. 
"Please give me and my family some space, Y/n needs space and so does our daughter, she's 3, she doesn't understand why any of you are yelling like this." A chorus of "Sorry's" flew out from the mobs of people and you smiled warmly at whoever would make eye contact with you first. Jin's body seemed to relax a little as he realised how sorry they truly were. 
"I'll take some photos now but only if you stay like this, stay calm..." They all nodded and you kissed Jin's cheek. As you turned to leave him there a small girl came out from the crowd holding up the pink bunny. She couldn't have been any older than 8-years-old, her parents standing behind her anxiously as she looked up at you.
"The guy who stole it dropped it...He ran away," You bent down to the girl and smiled, thanking her and giving the stuffed animal back to your daughter. 
"Thank you," You whispered to the little girl who smiled up at your daughter, waving her hand at her and giggling. 
"Thank you." Your daughter mimicked you making you laugh softly, getting back up from the floor to take her somewhere more peaceful so she could get a small nap before the plane.
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Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ @misa0000​
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fantaesize · a day ago
Text
Tension Changes [JHS]
Pairing(s): Hoseok X Fem!Reader
Word count: 2.2k+
Genre: Smut, slight angst, slight humour? (idk if its actually funny or its just my sense of humour🤡)
Warning(s): Sex in the kitchen? rough sex, unprotected sex (this aint real life hoes wrap it up), slight breast play, heated argument, overstimulation, marking
Summary: When you're angry at Hoseok and tension fills the air, only that it was turned all upside down when the tension lead to something new.
A/N: hobi has just been so wholesome ball of hope for me so it was sO hard for me to write a smut piece for him heLP- BUT WE MADE IT!! soo this is a part of my 50 Shades of Bangtan masterlist but you can read this part singly since the parts are unrelated. i hope you enjoy!!💖💕 (yall toons SHOULD enjoy considering that it was specifically hard for yo girl to write it smh🤧)
~~~~~
"Jung Hoseok!" you literally shouted from the kitchen, making your boyfriend jump in shock while he was simply sitting on the couch watching TV. For the millionth time, the tea cups and coffee mugs are supposed to be kept in different shelves.
When you and Hobi had just moved in together, nearly 8 months back, the two of you had made a list of things each would do everyday, roles being assigned to you one day and changing the next day to avoid the monotony. But you had decided to do the kitchen solely yourself, all along, everyday. You don't care if it's monotonous, you need everything in its place.
This was one of your main quirks. Somehow, you've always had a thing for kitchens, for them to be super clean and super organised. You can't mess with food, please. So if the small plates had to be kept in shelf above the shelf with big plates, it could be no other way. You put logic in organising the plates, and well, everything else, and anyone who wished to change the order was welcome, but only with a logic stronger, and more convincing than yours.
Your boyfriend immediately rushed to you with eyes wide open and mouth agape. (How, oh how does he manage to look so good even when he's shocked?)
"What happened Y/N? Is everything okay?" he asked, truly concerned and scared, given the way you called his name— full name— with that loud, fiery tone of yours.
"I don't know, ask the coffee mugs maybe? How're they liking their new house?" you replied, absolutely annoyed at the way Hobi was sparkling innocence.
After about two months Hobi felt that you must be really tired of doing the kitchen work all by yourself— doing the dishes, arranging them, cleaning the slabs, putting everything else in place— really monotonous. But when he offered to help you with the kitchen work too, you shut him down in a heartbeat.
Of course, what did you expect? I'll let you touch the kitchen? Honey, I trust you, but kitchen? No.
But then he kept on bugging you about it— he constantly insisted to let him have his share of kitchen work. You even offered to cut down some other work on your part and giving those to him to find a common ground, but the man was far from it. He wouldn't give up, because come on, wouldn't he get bored of doing the same tasks again and again everyday?
So after making him absolutely swear on his life and going over the way you organise things in the kitchen at least thrice, giving him the logics you put (in case that helps him remembering it), you finally were able to trust his words, and let him help you with the kitchen work too.
"Two work better in a team," he concluded.
When it was the eighth day and everything was running smoothly, you thought to yourself that you were probably fretting over nothing, the kitchen seems to be in good hands with Hobi.
But you jinxed it.
For that was the very day your boyfriend messed up the arrangement of cups and mugs for the first time.
Its okay, you thought to yourself, keeping them in place yourself, though, not forgetting to mention it to him so that he can be careful next time.
But then it happened again, and again, and then yet again today, and you're done with him being a partner in the kitchen.
"Y/N calm down, they're just containers to pour liquid in," he tried to play it cool.
"Oh come on Hoseok! You're giving me that?! You know how particular I am about things in the kitchen. This is exactly why I was okay with you not helping me in the first place."
"In my defense they both look very similar... they're only the slightest different shades of the same red," Hoseok defended, his voice raising a little with the tension in the air.
"Then how were you even doing it right all this while?" you shouted at him.
When you ended the sentence, you expected an immediate reply from him. Not because you felt yourself being authoritative, but because of the thick tension prevalent. It was unusual, anticipating— something rising from the depths of your subconscious minds and seeping their way to dissolve in air, making it the way it was and the way it will be for the two of you.
However what you got is him licking his lips, his eyes boring into yours. "You look so fuckin' hot when you're being mean to me," his reply came.
What?
Closing your eyes as you inhaled the right words to proceed with an appropriate approach, you began in a stern voice, voice still loud, "Hoseok I'm serious right now. Look if you can't do it it's fine, I'm okay wi-"
He licked his lips yet again, a smirk prohibited as he drew his bottom lips between his teeth, eyeing you with passion in his eyes.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! Is whatever I'm saying just a joke to you?" you began shouting again. Oh boy, you were pissed now. So pissed. Hobi didn't arrange the cups and mugs in the right place in your kitchen, and the man had the audacity to behave nonchalantly while you were at it? Wow.
"Well I don't understand why you're making a big deal about this. You can unlearn to be so particular about them and just learn to chill out, right?" Hoseok was now shouting, too.
He didn't particularly want the fight to become so heated, but he only wanted to put forth his own argument.
"Oh right, because I have definitely not tried doing that all my life. You know what, if it's so hard for you t-"
There it is. (Subconsciously) licking his lip again.
"Okay fuck you, Hobi... Stop your shenanigans. Stop looking like a fucking snack when I'm angry at you." the volume didn't falter, and so didn't the expression on your face, still full of anger.
Shouting back, "and you have to stop being so endearing if you seriously want me to listen to you."
The both of you just stared at each other for a moment, before both of you rushed to each other, bodies instantly entangling with each other as you both kissed passionately.
Though during this, the ceramic in your hands slipped and broke on the floor behind Hobi.
"It can be taken care of later," you breathed out against his lips, not wasting a moment more than that to attach your lips to his again.
He pushed you against the kitchen island, two bodies gaining support. "Was this all I needed to do to make you cool down?" Hoseok asked as he chuckled, connecting lips again while you didn't miss the chance to dip your tongue in his open mouth.
"Maybe you have to try harder to cool me down," you stated with a smirk on your lips, only being dissolved by Hoseok's lips again after a brief moment when he caught you doing so.
Taking the kiss growing needier with every passing second and the way your hands traveled all over his chest as a sign to proceed, he snaked his hands to under the hem of your shirt and rapidly divested you of it, throwing it to the floor somewhere around, all while your own hands crawled under his shirt and removed it, it meeting the floor shortly after that, too.
Your hands roamed all over his naked chest, feeling his well defined abs, and then to his back as your chest flushed into his when he pulled you closer to kiss your neck and nibble at the sensitive skin.
"Hobi..." you mewled when he traced his tongue at that one sensitive spot, your pussy releasing a gush of arousal due to his actions. Your hands made their way to the hem of his pyjamas, making their way in and clutching his boxers-covered asscheeks.
He took that as his own lead to proceed on you, bringing both of his hands that were previously cupping your face and holding your head from behind, down to your belly and hooking the index fingers into the waistband of your shorts and panties, pulling them down in one go.
He then lifted you from the thighs to sit you on the island, holding your knees and spreading your legs apart so as to come closer to you. Your legs hooked around his waist, pulling him unbelievably closer as your butt was almost on the edge of the island, your pussy releasing another gush of wetness when you felt his hard dick pressing against your heat.
Hobi's hands moved to your back, unhooking your bra urgently as he hooked his fingers in the straps and tossing it somewhere around. Not that he would really want to focus on where to toss a bra when you have your full breasts on display, all for only him to have.
He instantly latched his lips to your buds while his fingers paid attention to the other rising nipple. "You feel so good," he mumbled, feeling your boobs against his face as he nuzzled between them, and your chest rumbling with the moan that escaped your mouth at his antics. You wanted nothing more than him to fuck you right here on the kitchen counter.
This was the first time you let a mug break in your kitchen and didn't fret to clean it immediately, and the first time ever having sex in your kitchen. What has Hobi done to you?
As if reading your mind, he got rid of his pyjamas and boxers, him being equally eager to be inside you. Though just when you thought he would align himself with you, however, you found yourself on the ground again, you being turned around and bent over the counter.
Kinky, you thought, and you couldn't help the hum that you released, smiling at the way this was so exciting for the both of you. The cold granite of the slab was juxtaposing against the warmth of the flesh of your boobs, your skin-covered ribs pressed against the hard surface. You pushed your ass out even more, swaying them so as to tell Hobi you needed him. It was thirst hours on the menu.
You hissed when you felt him jamming into you hard in one go, using your love handles for support as he thrusted into you hard and fast, without giving you time to adjust to his big, thick size.
"Your. cunt. is my. favorite. fucking. cunt" Hoseok growled as he emphasized on each word with his hard thrusts, hard enough to touch the walls of your cervix each time, causing your eyes to roll into your skull in pleasure, your mouth having no other choice than to release the moan that formed in your throat each time.
"Fuck, Hobi, right there..." You growled when he hit your g-spot with the tip of his dick, hitting it again and again with his speed far from faltering; in fact, only growing stronger and better with each passing second.
His hand moved from your waist to your neck, pushing your head further into the surface as he used it as a support to keep fucking into you. The deep, sexy grunts that came from his mouth at the pleasure the soft walls of your cunt was giving him was incomparable to any other sound that you've ever heard, driving you closer to the orgasm as your stomach got filled with adrenaline.
"Petal, are you close?" Hobi managed to ask in between the throaty moans that he gave. He felt your head nodding under his hand, quickening his pace even more when he comprehended.
With breathing uneven and the thought of his tight hold on your neck and waist becoming, so tight that you were sure you'll have some blue marks to admire later, you came with a loud groan of his name, milking his cock in your fluid as he slowed down, bending over you to kiss your shoulder to shush you down.
He once again caught the pace, fucking into you as you felt the stinging pain of overstimulation, him being egged by the whimpers that left your mouth in the process. Eventually he too, came with a guttural call of your name, spilling his seed into you, covering your quivering walls in his white.
You both stayed in position, feeling both of your cums trickling down your thighs. You both panted heavily, and soon he pulled out of you and turned you around, kissing you sweetly.
"Was this make-up sex?" Hobi smirked at you with those partly lidded eyes, his black curls falling into his eyes.
Chuckling at his statement, "I'm sorry. I was really rude to you earlier," you apologised. Sure you had your quirks, but now that you think about it, you were very rude to your boyfriend who has always been the one to never judge you on that while everyone else did, and it wasn't rightful of you to treat him that way.
"I'm sorry too. I promise to pay more attention to the mugs to keep them in their correct home," he mocked you for the statement you used earlier.
He kissed you again, trailing his kisses to your neck, taking them all the way to you ears and nibbling at the lobe before leaving whispers that turned you on again.
"Or maybe, I can just mess up the mugs and cups more often now."
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queen-of--roses · a day ago
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How Royal!Yandere!bts met y/n and realised their feelings
Literature Club Headcanons
A/N: Jins Headcanons became so much longer than the others TT I wanted to keep it short but please enjoy 
Warning: Yandere behavior
Namjoon 
Is y/n’s tutor once a week
They consider each other friends well y/n does Namjoon basically plans his future life with her as his wife already
Manipulative 
Good at sweet talking other people 
He is also good in planning and strategizing
Bonds with y/n over their love for books
Jin and Namjoon are pretty passive-aggressive at family dinners 
One of the best students in school 
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Hoseok 
Is y/n’s caretaker 
He looks after her and makes sure that she is well
He takes that job really serious, more than anyone else
Makes sure she eats and drinks enough, if she is stressed, that no one talks bad about her or bullys her and makes sure she gets enough rest like a boyfriend
Hobi always makes y/n smile
I mean he makes everyone smile but he just focuses on y/n
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Seokjin 
Heard from his family that Namjoon is now tutoring someone who came into the school because of the special program and that more people began to like him because he is so nice and humble to watch over this poor girl
He instantly wanted to make her life a living hell
The next day he went up to y/n and straight up said 
“I only wanted to know who that ugly low life is to be friends with my Cousin” 
He was completely catched of guard because y/n just smiled at him und left with a “Now you know” 
He was so confused by that response that he thought about it the whole day 
The next day he went up to y/n and Hoseok who were eating lunch
Hoseok gave him a death glare but Jin just pushed him away with a “Out of my way low life” which made Hobi more furious 
“What I am about to say is pretty cliche but I don’t know how to phrase it differently. After what you said to me yesterday I realised that you are special and you deserve to be in my presence” 
“Please just let me and Hobi eat in peace”
“You call him Hobi?!” 
Jin was pushed away by Hoseok and sighed 
Normally he wouldn’t even look in her direction again after this but he just couldn’t stay away 
He began to bother her more and more until she kinda considered him a friend
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Yoongi 
He heard about that girl that Hoseok takes care of and started to study her more and more
What was just curiosity and hate for Jung Hoseok started to become an obsession and hate for Jung Hoseok 
If just Hoseok wouldn’t exist he could easily talk to you 
But that wasn’t possible 
Until one day she became part of his Music class and they were put together for a projekt 
They easily became friends 
And Yoongi realised one night of songwriting that y/n became his muse and that he needed to have her
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Jimin 
He may be a prince but he is the King of rumors and knows all the tea about you before you know it yourself 
He is really flirty with every gender and is really charming 
Of course sooner or later he will know about y/n 
He learned that the special girl who got 5 from his closest enemies is in fact in his dance class 
Jimin watched her for a while before taking action 
He charmed his teacher and became her partner 
Every second he spent together with her Jimin was more and more sure that y/n and he must be soulmates
Y/n was made for him and he for her 
Jimin knows things y/n didn’t even tell anyone 
No one will take this precious angel away from her
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Taehyung 
Tae heard about y/n but just didn’t care 
That girl can’t be special when she is wasting her time with them 
But one day she came into his art class as a model to paint and he was mesmerised 
Y/n was so beautiful if it would have been just him in the room he would have drawn you nude 
The other ones in the class can never be able to paint a women like her 
From that day on not one day went by without him drawing you from his memory but that wasn’t enough he studied her house and broke in one night to take pictures of y/n’s sleeping form
He can never get enough of her
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Jungkook
This boy knew early who y/n is because they share a few classes together and sit beside each other in English and Biologie
He thought that she is pretty and they changed a few words here and there 
But only the moment he heard about the other boys being around you like moths around a lamp some feelings bubbled up in him 
Anger and rage 
He wanted to rip them all apart 
First he didn’t know why this young man was so confused 
Until he realised that he feels all of that because of love 
Jungkook doesn't know much about love because he doesn't get much himself 
But if this is love he never wants it to stop 
Jungkook want her all to himself
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sopebubbles · 18 hours ago
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❣fifty-five: let's be Bulletproof
Bulletproof Heart
A/n: credit to the photo editors who made these incredible rock star edits
Taglist: @burningupp-replies @halesandy @jikooksgirl19 @lilacdreams-00 @loveyoongles @yoongiofmine @thequeen-kat @renhold-nightspear @xxlovingfandomsxx @disregard-thefootsteps @taeshuworld    @abc-abc1234-a @becomingbts @xianav @kim-jias-den @deleteidentity @r4yih @somelazysundays @hobizi @secretlycrazyhummingbird @lyra0cassiopeia @ventusnonexpectat @theestrangeddreamer @softychimseok @binniebutter @betysotelo18 @thealmightyzah @joyfullyobsessed @twilight-loveer
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delightfulserendipity · 4 hours ago
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Kefi || kth
↔Genre: romance; angst; fluff; dad!idol!taehyung x mom!reader.
↔Warnings: mentions of breathlessness; longing.
↔Request: "Hiii, I hope you are doing well!! Could you please write something with either J-Hope or V where they come home from tour and meet up with their wife at the airport with their baby. And their baby calls him dad for the first time and it's just cute and fluffy?? Please and thank you! <3"
A/n: This was so cute to write, but I just couldn't decide what to name their daughter! What would you like to name her? ♡
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| Kefi | n. | ke•fi | meaning: the spirit of joy, enthusiasm, high spirits and euphoria, in which good times and passion are expressed with an abundance of excitement. |
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The rapid thrum of Taehyung's pulse accompanied the hastened flitting of his eyes that danced between the unfamiliar faces of fellow travelers as his aching heart desperately searched for the comfort your features would undoubtedly bring.
After so many cruel months of sating his desire for you with a mere video call in the late hours of the night when he found himself tossing without your embrace; your presence was all he could bring himself to focus upon even in the disorder of the gatherings of eager fans and disorienting flashes of the cameras.
The days that were as numerous as the delicate flakes of snow that rested within the dark strands of his thick locks ended at last once his onyx eyes locked onto yours.
His heart fluttered once he discovered your irises still glinted for him even through the countless nights you selflessly stayed awake to gently lull him to sleep when the agony grew far too much to bear.
Though he ached to simply trace every crevice of your features that he memorized so perfectly before he bid his goodbyes to you with a final kiss; ten perfectly chubby fingers grasped his focus as effortless as the second love of his life could.
His throat constricted with a strange concoction of emotions that overwhelmed him upon finding how the pillowy cheeks he kissed ever so gently now rounded into soft mounds as her precious smile grew to favor his own rectangular grin.
His breaths caught upon his ribs at the vast differences that appeared in his absence from her side- yet his chest warmed with the little features that still remained the same through their time apart.
"Hello, my loves."
The low timbre of his voice spilled from his gaping lips once his stare returned to his dearly missed mate, a meager second before your fingers that weren't tightly clinging to your baby interlaced with his.
As if a chapter of a romantic tale, your world slowed to take in the reunited lovers that met their other half at last.
Your words of greeting lodged themselves in your throat under the insufferable weight of time that led to this moment spent in your lovers arms at long last; instead you preffered to breathlessly connect your aching lips.
A pleased hum reverberated within his trembling figure as the gentle nuzzling of your nose elicited a gasp whilst his hot breath tickled your flesh.
Every ache of his body that cried to come back to you eased into your touch as all others that scurried about the terminal faded from his mind. All that mattered was your presence which he embraced so tightly and promised to never release.
Your souls waltzed together between each hastened kiss or subtle brush of his slender fingers until your warmth faded from his tongue.
His lungs squeezed for every aching breath, as he indulged himself in your presence to simply study you just a little longer.
"We missed you so much, Tae." Your lips curled into a ghost of your smile as you fell a little deeper into his fixated gaze, unbothered by the world that bustled around you.
The words he had longed to say to you amidst the chilled nights he laid awake dreaming of your skin against his, perished upon his tongue once a hushed murmur drew him to the little one snuggled between his and your own tangled embrace.
Admiration sparkled in his dark irises whilst her nose wrinkled in the concentration that pulled at her little features.
Her plump lips clumsily mouthed the words she so desperately wanted to tell her father; the very words she grew up with the moment you both discovered her existence with shy smiles and warm cheeks.
"I love you,"
She gracelessly stumbled over the words and adorably mispronounced each one until she found the word she adored the most much to your heart's content.
"D-daddy?"
A laugh escaped your mouth whilst you witnessed Taehyung's lips gape with rounded eyes that glowed purely with love for his little one.
As if she were as delicate as the intricate design of a flake of snow, he admired her ever so gently.
And similiar to a child wishing to capture their precious beauty, he held her as if a single breath would lead her to vanish; he scooped her writhing form into the safety of his strong arms.
Your heart throbbed with a radiant joy once a delighted squeal rose above his ardent praises whilst he swayed her softly.
"You make my heart so full, little bear."
His soft tone graced her little ears, effortlessly gifting her with the love she deserved as he cuddled her closer.
As if he feared a mere inch may separate him from two beings he mourned for so long; he drew you deeper into his embrace whilst his fingers danced across your wrist.
Just as a snowflake falls to simply kiss the tip of your nose, his lips met yours in a fleeting brush just seconds before your little one nuzzled her nose into his.
A deep chuckle poured from his lips as he simply melted into the love you devoted to him, as if every brush or nuzzle was a word within a love letter, he savored each one with wonder.
"I missed you both so much."
Tag list: @holaaaf @yourwonderbelle @lolalee24 @fanoffandomss
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kookieswan · 2 days ago
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Shades of Us - Pigtails
Poly!Namgi x Reader (f)
Word Count: 457
Tags: Fluffy fluff fluff, Poly AU.
Notes: In my feelings yet again lmaooo 👉🏻👈🏻 Find the Masterlist here!
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“Let me braid your hair.” You had been sitting quietly next to Namjoon as he read to you, resting against his shoulder. Glancing up at him as he read, you noticed how long his hair had gotten as it ticked your nose.
Unbelievably handsome. He’s always been so unbelievably handsome in your eyes, right next to Yoongi’s insane beauty. Somehow, he even managed to pull of purple hair. Wanting an excuse to play with the grape colored strands, you decided braiding would be the best way to go.
“Sure thing babygirl.” Joon grabs the bookmark of his thick thigh, placing it in the book before snapping it closed. He promptly gets off the couch and sits down against your legs, leaning his head back as your thread your hands through the silky purple strands. You rake your fingers through them for a bit, massaging his head in content silence.
Humming a bit, you part his hair down the middle to the best of your ability and begin to gather half of it. It’s surprisingly soft considering he’s been dying it purple continuously, you’re almost jealous at how nice his hair is considering it should be super damaged. Gathering it at the top of his head, you slide a band off your arm and wrap it around the hair at the base.
“Too tight love?” He shakes his head, turning back to five you a dimpled smile and wink. It’s a terrible wink, his other eye twitching, but it’s so unbelievably endearing you can’t help but grin. As he turns back and you grab the other side, Yoongi wanders in from the bedroom, scratching his belly a bit.
He had wandered in at ass o’clock in the morning, having a stare off with you until he sighed, mumbling about you both being insomniacs. He’d crashed, but apparently 11 solid hours of sleep did him good, and you’re glad. When Yoon sees Joon he pauses, pouty lips turning into a teasing gummy smile.
“Aw look at our Joonie. So pretty with his little pigtails.” It’s obvious that Yoongi’s trying to mock him but the hearts in his eyes give away his disposition. The man has always been affection first thing in the morning. He could joke around all he wanted but Yoongi is and always would be hopelessly in love with Namjoon, and hopefully you too…
Feeling a wave of emotion, you lean forward and wind your arms loosely around his shoulders,trying not to giggle at his hair as you do so. Yoongi joins in, flopping down next to you on the couch to hug your waist tightly. Kissing his head as Yoongi leans further into you, you whisper quietly into his ear.
“I love you both. So much.”
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house-of-cakes · 2 days ago
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Jamais Vu
Masterlist || Series Masterlist
Prev || Next
Chapter 37: ✨V I C T O R I O U S ✨
Jungkook x Reader: enemy to lovers AU
Warnings: Y/N and JK are back at it again with competitiveness and name calling 
Premise: “There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger… Nothing is ever familiar” – Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
AKA Jungkook goes in search of the girl who got him expelled.
I had a lovely reader ask to be added to the tagged list but the ask was on anon 😔 If that was you please send me another ask or even hit me up in a message if you don’t want to post your username in an ask. 
Like always...if you would like to give feedback or be tagged in this story please send me an ask/message 😊
Tagged list: @yoongistangerine @betysotelo18 @kardia-apo-marmelada @casspirit0705 @preciouschimine @therealsugababe  @lucedelsole97 @deolly @lexy9716  @thesweetest-peas @sannsia @jovialdelusionbouquet @starlight-night0 @moonibub-rec @h0babie @seungcheoluwu @mwitsmejk @wholockian1
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yamashiro888 · 2 days ago
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Bts reaction when They saw you suddenly starting to rap (Kim Seokjin)
Yes I’m back again after forever, I realized writing on tumbler is so my style, short and impulsive lol. But I’m so happy that my English is much better than before, so I’m happy that I’ll be able to offer you more.
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When I tell you this man was so excited to watch your vlive-
He had been waiting so long for you to go live again (but you don’t go live as often as the other members of your group!)
I’m sorry but he even kicked out Yoongi from their shared bedroom so he can watch your live and fanboy in peace (though Yoongi had a deadpan expression and grumbled about him being “downbad” before walking out to lay on the living room couch)
The vlive started with you greeting your fans and asking them about how their day was, eventually reading a few of them out loud and replying to them.
Jin was sitting on his table comfortably and snacking on his snacks for his well deserved break.
Jin had a good laugh when you grumbled about one of your team members scolding you when you nearly ended up burning the food as you were on cooking duty today.
“I mean I’m good at ordering food at least!”
Then the rest of the vlive went were you vibed to songs while you did some work on the side.
Then there came THAT song. The song that you have been listening to religiously for this past week (to the point you can even mumble the lyrics in your sleep)
Now, it was rather a struggle for you.
Cause you were not rapper or known as a member that can rap by any means.
But how can hold back when your favorite verse was coming up?
Now it was quite a surprise for Jin when he was just sitting there watching the live.
Everything was just normal, you were vibing
But the live froze for a few second due to bad internet connection
The next upcoming moments were something he was NOT prepared for.
You were full on rapping the verse of the song.
Like what-
Since, uh, WHEN?
Poor man ended up chocking on whatever he was eating and took quite a time before calming down.
He was so impressed tho. Like damn his queen surprised him once more.
Won’t hesitate to bring up to the rap line about collaboration ideas with you.
“Think fast, collaborating with (Stage name) from (Group name) or collaborating with (stage name) from (Group name)?” “Hyung…we’re literally just watching Lion King-“ “both of the choices are the same , hyung.” “That’s the point Yoongi.”
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prodjaes · 2 days ago
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003: heartbreak hotel
| kim taehyung x reader
warnings: break-up
When Taehyung told you to come over his hotel room your heart felt warm and fuzzy.
The last few weeks of filming have been stressful for the both of you, and Taehyung's invitation feels like a refresher in the middle of the harsh working hours.
Yet now, standing in front of Taehyung's room, two floors above you, the warm feeling was replaced by the nervous beat of your heart.
Looking left and right you check the hallway in caution for lurking cameras. For the last year you've been meeting up with Taehyung you learned to be attentive especially in public places.
There's always a hidden fear of being caught in a scandalous situation with one of the top actors of all time.
Co-workers or not, relationships are frowned upon and even if it's a hassle, there's really not much of a choice.
Dating and seeing other people outside the industry is hard enough, paired with the fame and flashing lights it's clear relationships don't fit in the puzzle.
Still, with Taehyung it's different. For you at least, but you don't know what's going on inside Taehyung's head.
Taking a deep breath you swipe the key card Taehyung left you earlier. Preparing for the worst you close the door silently.
Though it won't do much of a difference as the loud beep oscillated throughout the room and alarming Taehyung in the process.
Walking softly with your arms around yourself you press your lips together and wet them trying to ease the nervous feeling in your body.
As you reached the end of the seemingly long hallway you meet Taehyung's back. Facing the windows with a wine glass on one hand, lost in his thoughts.
You stopped yourself and glanced at him.
He looks like a piece of art. An expensive one at that, he looks like he jumped out of a painting of some medieval picture.
Even now where you are in the same space as him, it felt as if you were intruding him, it's as if all the nights you spent together were thrown out the window and you are an intruder to his life.
To his peace.
Yet it's funny how he's the one who brought peace in yours.
Gaining the courage to step once more into the living room of his suite you stand up waiting for him to snap out of his thoughts.
The air was suffocating as it is, but you waited and stood for some time before his deep voice caught you off guard causing you to flinch.
"You're here."
His voice was cold and his words were sharp, he didn't even bother to look at you as you faced his toned back.
"I've been here for a while."
You wince at your voice for breaking in the middle of your words.
"I just want to end things here and now."
Everything happened in a flash and you it took you some time to process his words. Before an audible gasp left your mouth.
Your face felt cold and you froze in your position.
A million thoughts rushed in your head in an attempt to calm yourself, but it all ended in the same image.
Taehyung was done.
And soon as you learn to accept it, you'll be over him. Though it may take longer, maybe never, things will never be the same for the both of you.
But it also won't be the last.
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noteguk · 2 months ago
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white lies | jjk | m
— summary; in which Jungkook lies his way out of and into trouble. But he can’t tell white lies when it comes to you. 
— contents and warnings; smut, fluff, very minor angst, poor attempts at humor, athlete!jungkook x reader, childhood best friends, fake dating, idiots to lovers, far too many movie references, a tiny bit of jealousy, jk is a football/soccer player, mentions of alcohol and drugs, the catastrophic event that is a frat party, jk is kind of a himbo, so much sexual tension, mutual pining, a lot of touching, dirty talk, fingering, grinding, jk has a big dick, praise, body worship if you squint, unprotected sex (don’t.), pulling out, very mild possessiveness, mid-sex confessions, the L word…, Jungkook wants to fuck you in his team jacket because his tastes are very singular and you wouldn’t understand it 
— words; 13,3k
— author’s notes; I know what you’re thinking… and yes, every bad movie mentioned is real. Also, this is a self-aware cliche and 100% self indulgent. Have fun!
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When people first found out that you and Jungkook were friends, you received a very predictable, repetitive sequence of reactions.
First came disbelief. It was the most comprehensible one, at least from your perspective, taking into consideration that you and Jungkook were completely different people. He was loud (sometimes too loud) and outgoing, probably knew at least ninety percent of the campus population by name and city of origin. Jungkook was warm, friendly, the type of guy that you’d confess all your worries to if given enough time. You, on the other hand, was more on the “colder” side — you weren’t as inviting with strangers, and didn't mind going through moments of awkward silence. Jungkook was a talker and you were a listener; he was a daydreamer and you were a brute realist: maybe that was why your friendship worked so well. But most people couldn’t really get it. 
Second came the questions — the doubts, the sideway glances, even a few bitter comments if you were unlucky enough. Jungkook had kind of a reputation when it came to sleeping around, so most people jumped to the conclusion that either you were his favorite plaything (which might have been the most offensive thing you’ve ever heard) or that you were simply the rare one he had friendzoned because he didn’t want to fuck you (a big runner-up to that prize). Eventually, though, you settled their anguishes simply by saying that you knew each other ever since you were kids. 
Which took you to the final phase: relief and acceptance. The ones who saw you as a threat instantly relaxed, and the ones who couldn’t understand why he would “waste his time” with “someone like you” quickly understood that it was a deep, innocent connection that he was just “too sweet to let go.” Obviously, that didn’t make you feel any better. 
Truth was, it was kind of hard being friends with Jungkook. Mostly because the boy casted a light so strong that it was almost impossible not to stay in his shadow, but also because you always felt like you had to justify your existence every time he chose you instead of anyone else. You were the person he ran to hug once his team won; you were the one he ditched other people for, just to hang out with you. It made you insecure. And, yeah, there was also the fact that you had been madly in love with him for some time now, but that was unimportant. 
Well, until he asked you to be his (fake) girlfriend, that was. 
Jungkook, bless his heart, was never one of the brightest when it came to real-life situations. He could ace a test with no issue, but, when it came to reading the room, he was a lost cause — something a bit paradoxical when you realized how social he was, but, well, people probably thought his cluelessness was adorable. And that might also be the reason why he never caught onto your pathetic crush, but that was a different topic. 
“Why the fuck would I do something like that?” You munched on your chips, eyes flickering over the TV screen. The two of you had made the terrible decision to hatewatch all the bad shark-themed movies you could find, and now you were suffering the brain-smoothing consequences. “Sounds like the dumbest plan in the world. And I don’t understand what you’d get out of that.” 
He whined, throwing his head back against the couch. Jungkook had been trying to convince you for half a movie now, and he was running out of arguments. “I told you already,” he stressed, eyes locked to the white ceiling. With the living room completely immersed in shadows, the shades of blue and yellow from the television reflected off his face like a prism. “The boys have been teasing me because I could never hold a date.” 
“And? That’s your problem.” You looked at him, meeting his desperate stare. “And, honestly, why did you even lie about it? It’s true, you know it.” 
“You’re cruel.” Jungkook tugged the bag of chips off your hands, ignoring your complaints. “I have my reasons.” 
You laughed. “Yeah, what is it again? Waiting for the right person?” You teased, watching as his frown only deepened, his cheeks puffed out as he angrily chewed. “Come on, Cinderella, snap out of that fairy tale. Have you stopped to think how many nice girls you let go because of that stupid mindset?”
“It’s not stupid,” he murmured, clearly irritated. 
With a sigh, you shrugged. “Fine. It’s not.” You yanked the bag of chips away from him, slightly sad that it was almost finished. Unfortunately, your marathon had made you eat a lot more junk food than your body could probably handle, but that was a problem for the future you. Present you really wanted more chips. “I’m just bitter.” 
“We can agree on that.” He smirked, a devilish glint in his eyes that prepared you for the worst. “What was it that those guys called you in high school?”
You pointed at him. “Don’t,” you warned. 
But his smirk only grew, morphing into a full-blown (dazzling) smile. “Ice queen?” Jungkook tried. 
You rolled your eyes, sinking into the couch. “It’s a dumb nickname, shut up,” you groaned, trying to focus on the shitstorm that unreveled on the television. There was a priest trying to exorcise the ghost of a demon shark, and that was a thousand times more interesting than recalling the nightmare that was high school. “It got even worse when Frozen came out.” 
“Still gets to you, though.” Jungkook poked you on the shoulder, allowing himself one last laugh at your distress before striking once again. “So… wanna help me?” 
Yeah, like that would have magically changed, you thought. “I already said no.”
Jungkook leaned forward, pressing his forehead against his palms. He was in anguish, but you couldn’t feel that sorry when he had caused that himself. “But I already told them we were dating,” he whined, defeated. 
“Again, sounds like a you problem,” you said, throwing the empty bag of chips on the coffee table. “Just say that you panicked and made some shit up. Own up to it, you’re already a grown up.” 
Jungkook shook his head. “I can’t, they’ll never believe me again.” 
You sighed, crossing your arms. “Dragging this out won’t make it any better. You should tell them the truth,” you said, pausing for an instant. “Actually, I can’t see this ending well in, like, any possible scenario. Even Doctor Strange had better odds in Infinity War.” 
The fact that you liked Jungkook was the key point that he didn’t have access to, but that was very clear inside your head. Even in the best possible outcome, in which no one doubted a single thing and everything magically went back to normal, you’d still have to live with that weight inside your chest. Sounds pretty fucking painful to pretend to be someone’s girlfriend when you were almost considering selling your soul to turn that into a real situation. And then to be done with it like it wasn’t nothing more than a business transaction, or a platonic favor for a good friend... that would just suck, to put it lightly. 
Sadly, Jungkook wouldn’t give up so easily. “What if we, like, only do it tomorrow night?” He pressed on, turning to take a better look at you. He always looked so breathtaking, his gorgeous big eyes just staring at you like a cute dog pleading for a piece of meat. You could sense yourself starting to fold, and that was always a bad sign. “Just for a few of my friends to see us together, show that it’s the truth, and then I can just say that we didn’t work out and decided to stay friends.” 
“But it’s not the truth,” you stressed, turning your head back to the television. You were starting to get pissed at the fact that you’d have to watch that movie again to try and make sense of what was happening. But you were also sad because you were both considering his request and suffering in advance because of its unavoidable consequences. “I don’t wanna be just another name in your list of conquests, Jungkook.”
Correction: you didn’t want to pretend to be one. You were fine with trying something out (for real) with Jungkook, even if you didn’t get a fairy tale ending. You just didn’t want to play with your own emotions — and probably induce some emotional trauma — because your best friend couldn’t own up to the fact that he lied about something (again). 
And, yet, it was getting to you. Just like a vipers’ venom, it had started to spread inside your body, corroding the walls you had built up for yourself. Your therapist would rip you to shreds if she knew you were thinking like that, but maybe ignoring the only chance you’d have with Jungkook — real or not — would be the foolish decision there. 
Besides, it couldn’t be that bad, could it? You could push your pride aside and help a friend during a time of need… and who knows, maybe get a couple kisses along the way? And just for one night? You could do that… 
Back in the present, Jungkook was just now digesting your previous claim. “What? You’d never be just that,” he guaranteed, an expression of bewilderment plastered all over his obnoxiously handsome face. Every day was a new test from God, and you were failing miserably. “You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you.” 
Ouch. That was a low hit. And worse? You knew that he didn’t say that with any malicious intent to manipulate you or anything — he genuinely meant it. Jungkook was such a sweetheart when it came to you, he’d stay up to help you with your projects; volunteer to take you out on an adventure when you were feeling down, even if he had to face the consequences of skipping practice later. He had done so much for you, and you couldn’t even push your feelings aside one time to help him out. 
Your high school insecurities were starting to erupt, and you were thinking that maybe those dumb nicknames were right. Maybe you were kind of a cold-hearted bitch. Especially when your best friend/love of your life was pouting and begging you to help him and all you could do was to mock him. 
Beside you, Jungkook deflated like the saddest balloon in the world, a long sigh leaving his lips. “You know what? You’re right, this is stupid,” he admitted, running one hand through his hair. You always wanted to do the same, it was so soft and puffy that you could get lost in it. Also, there was something about the tattoos on his arms, the veins of his hand, that just made you lose your mind. “I should just own up to it.” 
Took you a couple seconds for your rational brain to catch up to your horny one, but it eventually did. “It’s okay, I’ll do it,” you told him. “Just one night.”
“Really?” Jungkook’s eyes widened like a kid’s during Christmas morning, a beautiful smile overtaking his features. He jumped in your direction and, before you could even react, his strong arms were wrapping around you, pulling you into a warm hug. You were so fucked. “You’re the best! I owe you big time.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll remember that.” You placed your hand on his forehead and pushed him away, ignoring both his whiny complaints and the quickening of your heartbeat. “Now back to our shark exorcism.” 
Jungkook’s teammates didn’t get why the two of you were still friends. 
As Jimin, the world’s most competitive striker once said, some things are so obvious that you just can’t ignore them unless you have a secret agenda. When it came to that specific subject, the obvious thing would be that Jungkook had an earth-shattering crush on you, and his secret agenda was the fact that he was too blind to see that it was mutual, so he decided to repress it until it asphyxiated him. 
His teammates tried to warn him over and over again that you, in fact, were all heart eyes and chuckles when he came around, Namjoon even got close to creating an entire PowerPoint presentation about it, but all of it fell on deaf ears. Jungkook, in his blissful ignorance, just wouldn’t hear it. From where he was standing, there was just no conceivable way that his laughable childhood crush had any chance of being mutual. 
Jungkook didn’t know much about psychology, though, because, if he did, he might have faced those emotions head-first instead of avoiding them until they started presenting themselves in different, slightly destructive ways. When you repress something, it doesn’t really go away, it just settles somewhere else, like squeezing a handful of slime. No matter how much he tried to get a hold of it, it still slipped between his fingers — made him cancel dates last minute to spend the night with you, convinced him to do the dumbest things just to make you happy. 
And, now, in a weird projection of a personal fantasy, he was pretending to be your boyfriend. 
In his defense, it wasn’t a machiavellian plan he had meticulously constructed: it just kind of happened. Jungkook wasn’t exactly a poster child when it came to being teased — after all, he was used to be being the best at practically everything — and, when his teammates all ganged up on him during their break, claiming that he just couldn’t get a girlfriend even if he tried, both his annoyance and the practice-induced exhaustion made him say that he was already dating someone. 
“Yeah, right,” Hoseok had mocked, pressing a towel against his sweaty forehead. The changing room thankfully had a great ventilation system, combined with large windows, otherwise they would’ve died from the heat and the smell already. “Just say that you can’t take a joke and move on, Jeon. No need to lie about it.” 
Taehyung barged in before Jungkook could get a word out. “Besides, we know there’s only one person that can fit inside your heart,” he said, watching as Jungkook’s eye twitched. “How’s ___ doing, by the way?” 
“She’s fine,” he answered, monotone. 
“Yeah? Are you gonna ask her out or what?” Jimin teased, his voice coming from beyond a row of lockers. “Or are we free to do that?” 
In typical animal planet fashion, the locker room exploded in a roar of laughs and fragmented provocations, every guy trying to speak louder than the other. Jungkook felt himself shrink, his frown deepening as his heartbeat quickened. There was something burning at his insides, a mixture of shame and jealousy, and that was exactly what pushed those idiotic words out of his mouth. 
“Actually,” he started speaking when the thunderous laughter diminished, turning around to place his bag back in his locker. “I’m dating ___.” 
It was almost amazing how fast the room morphed into a crypt — the thick silence hitting Jungkook right in the face, weighing down and turning into guilt and worry inside his stomach. He was unable to look back and face his friends, instead pretending to be extremely interested in his bag’s zipper. 
Why did he always do that? Why couldn’t he tell the truth for once in his life? 
“That seems even harder to believe,” Taehyung was the first one to speak, the one brave soul that verbalized what they all were thinking. Simply as that, life returned to the locker room, and so did the sounds of his teammates laughing at him. “Just yesterday you were acting all nervous around her.” 
Jungkook slammed his locker door shut, turning around with a determined expression. “Well, yeah, because I was planning to ask her to be my girlfriend,” he had never constructed a lie so fast before, but, even then, Taehyung didn’t look like he was buying it. “I’m serious.” 
Which was probably the least trust-worthy thing he could say. 
“Prove it, then.” Hoseok smiled, crossing his arms. “Call her right now.”
“I’ll do you better,” Jungkook didn’t hesitate — a terrible sign, he realized one heartbeat too late; it was never good when his mouth decided to take the lead, allowing for the words to flow out of him before they could be filtered by his logical brain. But Jungkook was competitive, both in the field and in his personal life, and he couldn’t stand the humiliation that came from both losing an argument and being caught in a lie. As ironic as that was. “I’ll take her to Saturday’s party and you can all see it with your own eyes.” 
Jungkook was just buying himself some time, hoping that his charms would be enough to sweep you into his miraculous scheme before his teammates could realize something was off. Hoseok, of course, did not know that, but his expression showed that he wasn’t all too convinced either. “Sounds great,” he lowered his voice, looking at his friend up and down. “See you there, Jeon.” 
Jungkook left the locker room with a crown of victory hovering over his head and a bright, prideful smile — one which shrunk and shrunk as his day progressed and he realized that there was no way in hell that you’d accept to be swept into his personal melodrama. 
He had enough time between that conversation and the night at your place to go through all the stages of grief. In denial he found himself running from those cyclical thoughts, ignoring that it had happened in the first place — maybe it was all a big misunderstanding and his friends would let that situation go; maybe he didn’t have to sacrifice his friendship with you just to avoid being wrong about something. In anger, came anxiety, frustration at himself for being so dumb and impulsive, allowing for his ego to step in the way and shield him from reason. That one he suffocated with extra gym time and a consequential terrible cramp in his shoulder. 
Soon enough came bargain and Jungkook was thinking that, if he were to be very lucky, he could convince his friends that you happened to be way too sick to go to the party that night, and that, weirdly enough, you two broke up the very next day and you didn’t want to talk about it ever. Maybe he could go through all that in secret, use all his brain power to construct an elaborate, moviesque plan to get him out of the ditch he had dug himself and no one would ever know of his dirty lies. 
It was all for nothing, however — the depression stage materialized soon after, in the middle of his advanced calculus class, and Jungkook was practically imploding over the fact that he had managed to ruin everything between you two, and also between him and the rest of his team. That was it: not only would he lose his best friend (and perhaps the love of his life) but he would also lose trust and respect in the field. 
Acceptance only reached him when Jungkook was on his way to your place, and he came to terms with the idea that he was already in deep shit, so he should at least try and change that. He would ask you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a bit — even if he was positive you’d laugh until you were out of breath and never let him forget about it — under the possibility that perhaps, you’d say yes. 
Which, surprisingly, you did. 
Now, Jungkook wasn’t particularly emotional when it came to most things — even in the field, he managed to control that side of him well — but there was something intense bubbling up in his stomach as he made his way back to his dorm after the movie was over; a laugh that hung somewhere between maniacal and desperate that he couldn’t hold back. That could be bad, really bad. Especially considering that he didn’t have the slightest clue how he would hold himself back from just vomiting out a fervent love confession the second that you kissed him. 
Because that was supposed to happen, right? In a relationship, pretend one or not, people should kiss. He should act like your boyfriend, perhaps a fantasy that he had way too often, and still spare enough brain matter to remind himself that it was all fake. And that it was also all his fault. 
As established, Jungkook was the president of the company of putting himself in extremely uncomfortable situations. And, when the night of the party arrived, he decided to screw himself even further by lending you his team jacket. 
It was because it was cold, he tried to brainwash himself. It was because you were cold, because the night was cold, and not because he liked the view of you in it in the slightest. Or maybe because it was a bomb pumping his thorax full of pride and possessiveness; because it was making him believe, even for a second, that you two were part of a chimerical alternative universe in which you were together. Not at all. It was strictly business — the neighborly job of a worried best friend, at most. 
“Is this really necessary?” you spoke his doubts out loud, tugging at the sides of his large jacket. 
Jungkook managed to keep his cool, eyes darting around the peaceful streets. You two were close to the party, he could already listen to the repetitive beat echoing through the cool breeze, and every step he took amplified his anticipation by tenfold. “It speaks for itself,” he told you, his hand firm on your waist. You were wearing a sleeveless top and a skirt in the same color, and there was a stripe of exposed skin in between the two that Jungkook’s hand brushed against sometimes. He felt like he was a virgin again, hyper-aware of your body and completely unsure what to do with himself. “Besides, you look good wearing it.”
You rolled your eyes. “I look stupid.”
Jungkook glimpsed at you, a sleazy smile growing on his lips. “You look like my girlfriend.”
You snorted. “Oh, so I look super stupid,” you corrected, looking away. 
“Funny,” Jungkook answered, monotone. His smile melted away — there was no way in hell it was mutual, he thought, his friends were just fucking him over, trying to see him embarrass himself. “I hope you act better than you tell jokes.” 
“It’s probably as good as the effects in Birdemic,” you said. 
Jungkook shook his head — he had conflicting emotions when it came to that movie, considering that it was so awful that he laughed to the point of choking on his popcorn. You, being the empathic friend you were, brought up his near-death experience as often as you could. “At least that movie was funny, your poor acting will just be sad,” he threw back. 
“Thanks.” You giggled, making his heart leap inside his chest. Jungkook wanted to beat his head against the asphalt until that shy spirit of his middle school past left his body completely. “I’ll let you do the talking.” 
Jungkook nodded, allowing his gaze to navigate around the neighborhood — there were a handful of strangers in the streets with the two of you, but it was a shortcut to the frat house that not many people knew of. It brought along a peculiar sentiment of intimacy; the way your features were covered by the pale yellow of the light poles making him want to dive in and kiss you until he couldn’t even breathe. The realization that he could actually do that, under the excuse of a fake relationship, was one that almost knocked him out. 
“Just to be sure, by the way,” Jungkook started. “You’re okay with me, like, touching you like you were my girlfriend, right?”
You looked at him for a moment, measuring his expression. “Yeah, that’s part of it,” you told him. “I’m guessing you are okay with it as well?” 
“Fine by me.” Jungkook cleared his throat. The frat was literally just around the corner, buzzing into the night with a generic beat and the joyful yelps of hundreds of strangers. He usually enjoyed that cacophony of sounds, but, that time, it was like the screams from hell. “Just a couple hours, okay? Then you’re free.” 
“It’s fine,” you told him. “How bad can it be?” 
Short answer: bad. Long answer: bad, but with a twist. 
Jungkook looked around the party like he was a kid lost in the supermarket, his eyebrows furrowed as he searched for his teammates (which that whole spectacle was supposed to be for). You felt like a piece of a puzzle thrown in the wrong box, leaning against his toned body as he tried to think of what to do. 
“So…” You cleared your throat, trying to make yourself heard through the loud beating of the song. Jungkook followed your voice, leaning in closer. Maybe your heart skipped at that, but no one had to know. “What’s the plan, captain?”
Jungkook clicked his tongue. You two were leaning against one of the walls of the large living room, in a somewhat calm corner of the party. “I don’t know, I’m not feeling like being interrogated right now,” he said. “I think it’s better if we wait for the guys to get a bit more drunk so they don't think too much about it.” He sighed, looking around for a bit longer. “We could stay here for a while, just sit down and talk. What do you think?”
“Sounds good.” You breathed out. “I’m taking any chance to rest my feet at this point.” 
The ancient gods of the frat parties seemed to be on your side, because it didn’t take much longer than a couple minutes to find a sofa that 1) was unoccupied and 2) didn’t look like it had any suspicious fluids on it. You settled by Jungkook’s side, a breath of relief escaping your chest as you felt the pressure on your calves subside considerably — all you wanted was to go back in time and kill whoever thought high heels were a good idea. 
However, you relaxed way too early. 
You had to hold back a surprised gasp when Jungkook abruptly tugged your legs onto his lap, one hand finding the curvature of your waist instantly. 
“This feels... intimate,” your voice sounded stiff when you spoke up, pushing your skirt down. 
“Yeah, that’s the point.” His eyes roamed around the room for exactly two seconds before they widened just slightly, then snapped back at you. “Okay, two things.” Jungkook placed one arm on the couch behind you, murmuring as he leaned in. He had that scheming expression on his face that had been plaguing you ever since middle school, when he first discovered pranks, and you didn’t think that was a good sign. “First: Yoongi, Jin and Namjoon are here, and they’re looking— shh, don’t look! Dumbass.” 
“Sorry. You’re the dumbass,” you said. It was hard not to look when you felt as if you were under a microscope, watched closely by his meat-headed friends. Still, you tried to keep your composure. “And the second?” 
He exhaled, the hand that was on your waist traveling to touch your cheek. You wondered if he could feel how hot your skin had become. “It’s kind of the time that you have to commit to being my fake girlfriend,” Jungkook warned, stare oscillating towards your mouth. “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay?” 
Suddenly, you felt like you were right back in high school, about to have your first kiss and not having a single clue about how to do it. “O-Okay,” you whispered. 
Jungkook didn’t waste any time. Before you could think about something to try and break the ice, his mouth was on yours, silencing you and turning your thoughts into white noise. He kissed you softly, much slower than you had expected, giving you time to adapt to the tender movement of his lips caressing yours. 
You sighed, gradually remembering how to move your limbs. Your hands rested on his broad shoulders as he leaned his head to the side, opening his mouth just slightly and deepening the kiss. No matter how many times you had fantasized about that moment, it could never compare to the way his tongue slipped inside your mouth, nor the small grunt he let out against your lips. Kissing Jungkook felt like heaven and you had completely forgotten about your fake dating situation until he decided to pull back just a bit. 
“Fuck, you’re a good kisser,” he mumbled, nose bumping against yours. 
You let out a breathy laugh. “Why do you sound so surprised?”
“I’m not surprised.” His hand slithered down to your hips, his warm palm sending shockwaves through your body. You felt like you were in danger from the way he was speaking, his body moving closer to yours. “I knew you would be.” 
Jungkook didn’t even give you time to process his words before he was kissing you again — sloppier, hungrier this time. Again and again, he chose to throw gasoline into the flame of your desire, and what could you do but to melt under his touches, to kiss him just as eagerly. 
Faithlessly, you were trying to convince yourself that it was all an act, that he was just playing it up because he knew his friends were watching. But his hand just felt so firm on your hips, pulling you closer as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, fingers digging into the soft sea of his hair. It seemed so real when he moaned softly against your mouth, biting on your lower lip before tracing kisses down your jaw, towards your neck. 
Or maybe you were just so deep inside your own illusions that you didn’t want to believe that it was all for show. 
Your eyes parted just slightly, trying to find his friends amongst the crowd of strangers. It was extremely hard to think when Jungkook was sucking and licking his way down your neck, his hand squeezing your thighs. Apparently they were nowhere in sight, though, for those obviously bright orange jackets had left your field of vision. 
“Jungkook,” you called, surprised at how firm your voice came out. The boy only hummed against your flesh, not paying much attention to what you were saying. “I think they already left.” 
Still, it didn’t seem like he was willing to stop. Jungkook mumbled against your neck, his voice so low that you almost didn’t catch his words past the loud music. “Yeah, but someone else can be watching.” 
You didn’t know who, though, and you didn’t really care. You were more worried about the small bites he was placing on your skin, the soft sucking of his mouth that left you pressing your legs together, begging for relief. “Um, okay, but there’s a minor emergency,” you told him. 
That managed to get his attention, for the boy pulled back so he could look at you. “What is it?” He asked, worried. 
You shifted around on the couch, your legs still thrown over his lap. You noticed something hard poking against your skin, which gave you enough momentum to admit out loud that, “I’m, like, soaking wet right now,” you said. “My neck is super sensitive and I’m really trying to hold back here.” 
Jungkook froze, blinking a few times and your words settled in his mind. He would never understand how you could be so shy in one second, and then just throw that bomb on his lap like it wouldn’t make his dick rock hard in record time. “Fuck, how can you just say that so naturally?” He cursed. 
“Sorry.” You bit your lip. Jungkook had to fight the urge to kiss you again. “I’m just being honest.” 
How ironic was it that, while Jungkook lied his way through life, you had no problem throwing those random truths right at his face? The opposites do attract, after all. 
He cleared his throat, unsure if he should pull away or not. “Want me to stop?” 
“I don’t know,” you admitted, “I think this is getting weird.” 
Maybe it would be the perfect time for the world to just open up and eat him whole, considering that Jungkook had never felt so embarrassed in his life. “Weird how?” He asked. 
“Weird like… weird.” Self-expression under moments of extreme sexual pressure really wasn’t your forte. You broke eye contact, flustered, instead choosing to look at the cluttered coffee table by your side. Jungkook’s hand was still on your body and you liked his touch far too much for your own well-being. “Maybe it would be better if we just went home.” 
“Right now?” Jungkook whined. Sometimes he still acted like the kid you knew, all puffy cheeks and demands for attention; for things to happen the way he wanted. You, being the simp that you were, were his number one enabler. “One more hour, please? We’ve been here for so little time, I just wanna cover all my bases.” 
His pouty lips and needy voice was a Molotov cocktail thrown directly in your heart. “Fine.” You puffed out. 
“Thank you!” Jungkook beamed, leaning in to place a kiss on your lips. The action was so automatic, so unthought, that neither of you reacted to it for a second. “Um… why do you say we try the backyard? Jimin said he’d try some new barbecue technique or whatever, so maybe they’re outside.” 
“And after that we leave?” You asked. He nodded. “And you do the talking?” 
“I’ll try my best,” Jungkook agreed.
You sighed. “Okay. I need some fresh air anyways.” 
Back in middle school, you had a very eccentric world history teacher. You clearly remember one afternoon that she simply walked in and asked the class what was the worst type of torturing they could ever imagine a human could endure — which ended up being a great opening line to a very interesting class about the medieval times and the ways of the inquisition, but also something that plagued you for a long time. That night, when you returned home, you dove into the rabbit hole about the topic and (much to the horror of your parents) discovered a thing or two about torture methods. 
The key point, it seemed, wasn’t even about the actual physical act, but about the horrendous expectation that came from it. Psychological torture could break a person apart before someone even laid a finger on them. You knew that already, but you had never truly witnessed it until that night. 
“Well, guess I have to take back what I said,” Hoseok started, his speech slightly slurred by the alcohol. Jungkook was right, they were a lot less intense after a few drinks, and apparently weren’t questioning a lot either. “I didn’t think you two would ever end up together after so many years of bullshit, but here we are.”
“Cheers to that, brother,” Jimin barged in, raising his cup. 
Jungkook chuckled behind you. “You guys have no fucking faith in me.” 
As a typical former theater kid, you were naturally dramatic. But you weren’t kidding when you said that pretending to be Jungkook’s girlfriend might be a newfound method of psychological torture — especially when he made you sit on his lap, his head resting on your shoulder and strong arms wrapped tightly around you. It was because there were no more chairs left in the backyard, and he wanted to play the gentleman/possessive boyfriend and didn’t allow you to stand up. But justificatives were fruitless when you could feel him getting harder by the minute. 
“It’s not about faith, you just fucked me up,” Taehyung said. He was the least inebriated one out of the group, but that didn’t mean much. “I owe Yoongi like fifty bucks now, thanks, man.” 
Jungkook was probably going to say something equally ludicrous in return, but your  curiosity made you act quicker. “Why?” You asked. 
Taehyung clicked his tongue, leaning back against his chair — it was the type that folded in half, and you were thinking he would flip over any second now if he continued with those harsh movements. “Ah. No biggie. He was one of the few people who believed your boyfriend here when he said you two were together.” 
You giggled, trying to keep yourself composed. Unlike Jungkook, you were not very skilled when it came to making up lies at the spot, so you ended up deflecting a little. “Yeah, it was a bit… sudden. So I understand the surprise.” 
Hoseok yawned, throwing his head back. “Nah, not really a surprise.”
You blinked. “What do you mean?”
Jungkook narrowed his eyes, shifting a little behind you. You felt him tense up, which probably wasn’t a good sign. “Yeah, what do you mean?” He echoed. 
“I mean… that it wasn’t a surprise,” Hoseok repeated, raising his eyebrows in a quiet mockery, as if you had just questioned the color of the sky. “Yoongi was sure Jungkook had finally gotten the balls to confess to you. I, myself, didn’t think it was that likely.” 
Wait, what? Suddenly you felt like you were the one being lied to, and all of them were in it together, building this huge prank around that story just to humiliate you. There was no way Hoseok was serious about that, not when the booze was probably melting his brain. 
Before you could continue to think about that, however, Jungkook spoke up. “Man, you guys suck.” He laughed. “I told you I’d do it someday and you never believed it.” 
Ah. That was it. Jungkook had lied about it just like he had done countless times in the past. 
You deflated a little, a sting of pain inside your chest as the conversation continued to unravel around you. Right then and there, you felt like the stupidest person alive, with no right to complain about the consequences you knew would come from that idea. Even if you had almost convinced yourself otherwise, what probably happened was that Jungkook got cornered some time in the past about some other girl, and ended up telling his friends that he liked you instead, just to get out of that situation. Like some of his lies, it snowballed, and it took you to where you two were now. 
It was hard not to feel hurt, even if you still believed you were a bit at fault for agreeing to his moronic plan. You knew you’d end up like this, suffering over someone who didn’t see you the same way, and you still fell headfirst into that trap. Maybe you were the bad guy in that situation, maybe you were the creepy one for taking advantage of his situation just to feel his body against yours, just to kiss him and pretend that it was all true. Maybe you had no room to judge. 
If you concentrated really hard, you could probably pinpoint the exact moment in which you realized that you were head over heels for your best friend. It wasn’t as glamorous as you’d like, just a dirty thought catalyzed by your teen hormones that unleashed an avalanche — it had happened back in the dark, desolate lands of high school, when you were cheering for Jungkook during one of his games. It was an important one, from what you could remember, his brain buzzing with the tension of his senior year and the promise of a fantastic victory. As always, you were there for him: front row, face painted with the colors of your high school, and cheering him on. 
He smiled at you, like he always did, but there was something odd about it. Like a lightning crossing the sky, one simple (yet fatal) intrusive thought popped up inside your head: he’s hot. 
It was all downhill from there. As much as you tried to wave those ideas away, they kept growing and multiplying, finding new ways to justify themselves — not only was Jungkook hot, suddenly, but you also realized that he would be an amazing boyfriend. He was sweet, kind, funny, determined, a bit ditzy sometimes but nothing you couldn’t deal with. He heard you complain about your problems when needed, but also felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you. There were so many shared interests between you two that you were positive that you could talk forever and never run out of topics to discuss. Jungkook was a walking minefield and you just stepped right on it. 
And there you were, stumbling your way down into hell as your lives progressed, and Jungkook got into the same college as you. As predicted, he quickly grew to be the campus’ new star player: a great attacking midfielder, with the number 10 plastered on his shirt and a heart-stopping smile on his face. How on earth could you fight that temptation? It was like a re-enactment of Eve and the snake in the garden of eden. Only the snake had amazing thunder thighs that looked even better with his team’s shorts. 
You always asked yourself if Jungkook knew what he was doing when he used his shirt to dry the sweat on his forehead, leaving his glistening abs in full display; or maybe when he hugged and swirled you around after they won a game. Part of you wanted to believe that he liked you back, even if you couldn’t really see it. Most of you believed that he was just his personality and nothing else. 
“Hey,” he breathed out, voice husky against your ear. You thanked his oversized jacket for concealing the goosebumps on your arms. “You good?” 
Just on the brink of a meltdown, no biggie. “Yeah, I’m okay.” 
He hummed, nuzzling his face against your neck. “Just a little bit longer, alright?” He placed a tiny kiss there, but it was powerful enough to make you whimper quietly. No one seemed to notice, but you didn’t know why Jungkook did that when you had just told him that your neck was sensitive. “They seem convinced.” 
Maybe “they” should have you included as well, because you had to actively remind yourself that you two were just acting, that he didn’t see you that way. Nevermind the pool of wetness between your legs, nevermind the way your body was on edge with his strong arms pulling you closer; his chiseled abs pressed tightly against your back. Nevermind Jungkook’s sweet smell or the gentle touches of his lips against your skin. It was all fake, dollar store material. It was just a matter of time before your ride became a pumpkin and the dream was over. 
At the same time, you could tell that Jungkook was being affected as well — you could feel the outline of his hard cock poking against your ass when you pressed down on his lap; noticed the tense movements of his arms as they held onto your body. And when Jungkook spoke, with his head placed on your shoulder and a solemn expression on his face, you could tell that he got just a bit choked up every time you shifted around, brushing your ass against his erection. 
The human brain is amazing when it comes to searching for any reason to prove our own theories, however, and that was why you weren’t taking any of those signs seriously — cognitive bias was a thing, and you weren’t falling for its tricks. If there are people out there that believe that the earth is flat, even with a ridiculous amount of evidence against it, you couldn’t trust yourself in believing that you had enough proof to think that Jungkook was interested in you. Maybe your argument was equivalent to “well, I can’t see gravity so it doesn’t exist”, and you didn’t even know it.
So you decided to take it easy, to aim towards the side of caution, as the night progressed into the deeper levels of Dante’s Inferno. By the time that Jungkook decided that you two had accomplished your goal and it was time to get you home, you almost cried in relief. 
You two drove in almost complete silence, only sparsely commenting on a few occurrences of the night. There was a thick blanket of tension hanging between the two of you, a bitter taste in the back of your throat that you couldn’t ignore. It had been a fun night, yeah, but it was done with. Time to burst that bubble and crash back into reality. 
Thankfully or not, depending where you stood, Jungkook didn’t seem to be as worried about those details. He was ridiculously cheerful, beyond proud of his skills, and a little over the moon about the fact that he had been with you the entire night, acting out things he never thought would come true.
“There you go, all done,“ he exclaimed, victorious, the second you two walked into your apartment. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?” 
You scoffed, leaning against the wall so you could remove your shoes. “It wasn’t good either,” you said, monotone. You were physically, emotionally and psychologically exhausted, and you seriously didn’t want to look at his annoyingly pretty face for another second. “Have fun telling them about our instantaneous breakup.” 
At that, Jungkook visibly tensed up. “Ha. Yeah…”
You sighed, beyond pissed off (and heartbroken) at that point. You weren’t Jungkook, weren’t built to lie your way through life, to pretend as if the feelings inside your chest were not your own. “By the way — fuck, I hate high heels,” you complained, throwing your shoes on the floor with a bit more force than necessary. Jungkook flinched a little, distracted. “By the way, what did Hoseok mean by that?”
He blinked, swallowing dry. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck — think of something. “By what?”
You raised one eyebrow. “Saying that you’d never have the guts to confess or whatever.” 
The worst part was that Jungkook could see in your downcast eyes that you had no idea what you were asking him. You seriously couldn’t tell that he had feelings for you — or, if you did, you simply couldn’t believe it. Or maybe you just despised him on a level in which a crush would be preposterous to even consider. “Ah.” He clicked his tongue. Think, you dumbass! Come up with something! “That.” 
You were getting a little choked up now. There was no way you couldn’t notice the trademarked signals of Jungkook buying himself some time, trying to come up with something inside that evil head of his. Maybe you had been right thinking that he had mentioned your name randomly one day, just to save his ass, and now he was dealing with the backlash of his actions. “Yeah, what was it about?” You pressed on. 
Jungkook chuckled, nervous. “Man… I was really hoping you’d forget that.” 
You took a step closer to him, anticipating what was to come. If he was going to hurt you, you wished he would just do it quickly, without dragging it out so much. “Just tell me, Jungkook.” 
And he was trying. Kind of. Jungkook was looking at you like his brain was frying, the Widow’s blue screen reflecting off his widened eyes. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, stare falling to the floor. “I can’t lie to you about that.”
You scoffed, venom running up your throat. That was priceless. “You tell white lies almost every day, why is this so different?” 
“Because it’s not a white lie.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows and narrowed your eyes, taking another step towards him. “Why are you thinking about lying to me, in the first place?” You asked. “Even if… even if it will hurt me. I deserve to know.” 
“Uhh…” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his head. “Because the truth kind of sucks and it can fuck everything up. And I don’t wanna do that.” 
Apparently you were right about your previous theory, then. Jungkook didn’t see you the same way, after all. And that was fine (it wasn’t), but he couldn’t even grow a pair and tell you straight on. “So you would rather avoid it?” You didn’t relent, motivated by your frustration, your hurt, that sickly feeling of betrayal — everything at once. “That has been kind of a running theme with you, hasn’t it?” You stared at him, but Jungkook could only avert his eyes from your burning gaze, instead looking at his feet. “Fine. Don’t tell me if you don’t want to, but quit dragging me into these bullshit lies of yours. I’m tired.”
“No one has ever cancelled a date with me,” he blurted out.
You hesitated, blinking a few times as you digested his words. “What?”
He breathed out. “No one has ever cancelled a date with me. It was all me,” Jungkook confessed. “I lied to you about that because I wanted to spend more time with you. And I didn’t care about anyone else.”
“Wh—“
Overwhelmed by a random wave of courage, his gaze snapped up at you. “I like when you watch my practice and bring me stuff, and I like when you invite me to those dumb movie marathons and make me watch the most disgusting shit,” Jungkook continued, his words falling incoherently from his mouth. You could only stare, flabbergasted, as he spilled months — years — of secrets all at once. “And I like watching you study, and I love seeing you laugh, I love spending time with you, and Hoseok is fucking tired of hearing me talk about it and do nothing.”
“I... don’t understand what you’re saying,” you told him. 
“I told the guys that we were dating because you were literally the only person that popped in my mind, and the only person I actually wanted to be with,” he just went on, not paying attention to your previous comment. Jungkook was a little on edge now, a bit breathless and wide-eyed. He’s nervous, you realized. It had been a long time since you saw him like that. “And this was the best night I’ve had in a while, just because you were there and I— I’m fucking everything up, I told you I would.”
“Jungkook,” you called softly, feeling as if every inhale was an olympic sport. Your heart was beating so fast inside your chest that you were afraid of having a syncope before you could hear the words you needed so badly. “Just tell me what you want to say.” 
He cleared his throat, shifting the weight from one leg to the other. “I’m like… how do I put this…?” Jungkook paused, took a deep breath, and dropped the bomb. “I’ve been kind of in love with you ever since we were like eight, yeah.” 
Record scratch. Freeze frame. “You what?” 
Jungkook chuckled. “Yep… awkward,” he said. “Sorry.” 
It hasn’t settled in just yet, which explained why you didn’t start screaming at him. “And you have the guts to tell me that I drop things naturally?” You asked. “Are you serious? You better not be fucking with me right now.”
He raised one hand and placed it on his chest. “I’m not, promise.” 
And then it hit you like a ton of bricks. “Jeon Jungkook!” You screeched, both hands flying to hold onto his shirt, rocking him back and forth with the strength of a thousand men. “I’m gonna make you swallow my fist!”
Jungkook was dumbfounded, ten times more confused than when you tried to explain to him the plot of the Velocipastor — which really wasn’t that hard, it was just a pastor who was also a dinosaur shifter. But his brain wasn’t good at following those types of unpredictable plots, and that counted your burst of anger. “That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting at all,” he murmured, voice flat with disbelief. 
But it was your turn to ramble incoherently. “You’re an idiot! You’re even worse than I thought!” You were still speaking loudly, letting all that frustration wash out of you, giving place to relief. “You made me go through all this fucking night, kissing you and pretending to be your girlfriend, while you actually like me? You prick!” 
You punched his chest — his stupid, muscular, rock-hard chest. “Ouch!” He whined, but you doubted it actually hurt. 
“I was almost crying because of how hard it was to suppress my own feelings for you,” you told him, pulling on his shirt once again. You wanted to take it off, wanted to kiss him until he was all that you could think about. But you also wanted to dropkick him straight to the deepest circle of hell. “And you like me back? Idiot!” 
“Wait, wait, what?” Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up, a perfect picture of his surprise. “For real?”
“For real.” Your shoulders slumped, the anger that possessed your body left you as quickly as it had arrived. “I’m in love with you too, you smooth-brained asshole. Ever since high school.” 
He blinked, dumbfounded. “I had no idea.” 
“Didn’t I tell you that speaking the truth is always the better option? You never listen.” You tugged on his shirt one more time, for dramatic effect. “Dumbass.” 
“You’re the dumbass. And no, I don’t think I do,” his voice was flat, mind navigating miles away from your place. “___?”
“What?” You barked. 
“How mad are you?” 
You groaned. “Pretty mad, why?”
It was his turn to take a step towards you, the heat that emanated off his body now surrounding you. “Because I’m gonna kiss you right now and I’d greatly appreciate it if you didn’t bite my face off.”
You sighed, relaxing against his torso. Jungkook’s hands came up to rest on your waist, guiding you closer to him. “I’ll try my best,” you told him, “go ahead.” 
Maybe all those foolish love songs and melodramatic romantic poets were onto something, because you swore you saw fireworks when Jungkook finally moved in, crashing his lips on yours. Yes, you had kissed him already that night, but there was no way those two situations could be comparable, not when you felt much lighter now that the secret was out, and that you knew what he felt when he pulled you closer, when he sighed against your mouth and caressed your lower back. 
Long years of friendship granted you the knowledge that Jungkook was tender with some things, rough with others — he was gentle with kids, with his other friends, with you; he was hard around the edges when it came to his matches (being especially fiery around championships), people he didn’t like, and goals he wanted to reach. As he kissed you, you could notice him trying to figure out which approach to take with you: his lips were soft on yours, tongue slowly exploring your mouth, but his hands were harsh, groping your ass as he pushed you up against the nearest wall, a growl vibrating inside his chest. 
Maybe it was a bit evil to push his buttons when you knew he was so dangerously close to snapping, but you weren’t in the right frame of mind — or, rather, you weren’t in any frame of mind at all. So, knowing very well that Jungkook was the most competitive person you knew, you pulled away from the kiss to say, “Come on, why don’t you kiss me like you mean it?” 
Which might have been the dumbest final words you could’ve uttered. 
You were graced with just a couple seconds of hesitation from his part — frustration and desire flashing inside his hooded eyes — before he was crashing his mouth onto yours once again. Jungkook didn’t say anything, because he didn’t need to: the messy, sensual kiss he gave you was more than enough to make you shut up. Just according to the keikaku, of course. 
His hands were in the back of your tights before you could think, pulling you up and pinning you against the wall. You moaned against his lips, a shaky exhale leaving your mouth when he rolled his center against yours — cock hard and heavy inside his pants, brushing against your covered heat. Jungkook did it two, three, four times, slowly grinding against you like he couldn’t hold himself back any further, groaning at the feeling. 
When he pulled away, you were almost seeing entire constellations forming in your vision, your breath labored and mind dizzy with desire. “Fuck,” he cursed, resting his forehead on yours. “Want you so fucking bad.” 
“Want you too,” you told him. “Bedroom?” 
He pulled back so he could look at you better. “Sure?” 
You nodded. “Sure.” Leaning in, you placed a timid kiss on his lips. “Want you to fuck me, Jungkook.” 
After all those years, that was all that he needed to hear. He was quick to pull you away from the wall, hands holding your body up and your legs wrapped around his waist. Jungkook knew your apartment like the back of his hand, but he still kept his eyes open as he walked towards your bedroom, your lips mindlessly attacking his thick neck. You had dreamed about doing that so many times and you could say with confidence that you weren’t disappointed by the shuddering breaths he let out, or the small grunts he gifted you every time you sucked his skin just right. By the time that Jungkook placed you on your bed, crawling over you, you were so wet that it was almost embarrassing. 
He looked at you like he was hypnotized, his hands roaming up your legs, slowly spreading them so he could place himself in between. With the action, your skirt rolled up, exposing your underwear. “Shit, I thought about doing this so many times,” Jungkook murmured, almost as if he was talking to himself. “I can’t believe it’s real.” 
“You’re so sappy.” You giggled, but you couldn’t deny that his low voice was getting to you. You shivered when his palms met the exposed skin of your waist, pausing in the space between your skirt and your sleeveless top. Jungkook was deep in thought, his gaze flickering all over your body. “What is it?” You asked. 
“You look so fucking hot in this.” He pulled on the large piece of clothing, his tongue coming out to lick his lips. “Wanna fuck you with the jacket on. Just the jacket.” 
You almost choked on your saliva — well that was something you weren’t expecting at all. “Seriously?” You raised one eyebrow, teasing him. “You have that much of a hard-on for sports?” 
Jungkook didn’t seem to be in the mood for jokes, though, because he gave you a serious answer. “No, I have that much of a hard-on for you.” He dipped in so he could nestle his face on the curve of your neck, humming as he inhaled your scent. Once again, you were faced with the contrast of his soft lips against your skin, but the rough tug of his hands on your skirt. “Wanna fuck my girl with only my jacket on, what’s so wrong about that?” 
You whimpered when he licked on your sensitive spot, trying to push your legs together, but being stopped by his presence between them. Jungkook successfully pulled your skirt out of you, throwing it somewhere on the floor. “Since when are you this possessive?” You asked. 
He moved back, hands progressing to your tube top and sliding it down. It seemed as if the world had conspired in his favor, because it was just so easy to leave you only with his team clothes on, the elastic material leaving your body quick enough. “I’m not possessive,” he responded, only half there. His brain was trying to understand the vision of you before his eyes, only with your panties and his jacket. Jungkook could feel his cock throbbing inside his pants, begging for relief, and he just knew that sight would plague him forever. “Wanna make sure that you know you’re mine, though. I’ve thought about this for too long.” 
As you fumbled for something to say, he dove back in, his mouth attacking your breasts with no time. Your back arched, fingers tangling in his messy hair as he sucked and licked your nipples, his strong hands squeezing your tits every time you moaned out. It was almost humiliating how reactive you were, with your shallow breaths and broken calls of his name, but Jungkook was fucking loving it, and he just wanted more of it. 
You melted under his touches as he pulled himself closer to you, his mouth tracing its way back to your clavicles, then your neck. Much to your dismay, his hands were still on your breasts, playing with your erect nipples as he finally found that one spot that made you yelp. 
“W-Wait,” you stammered, “my neck is sensitive.”
Jungkook knew that already. In fact, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since you mentioned it back at the party; his cock stiff inside his pants at the memory alone. “I noticed,” he groaned, the vibrations of his voice spreading throughout your skin. One of his hands slithered between your bodies, hastily pulling your underwear to the side so his fingers could plunge between your folds. At the sensation of your arousal, Jungkook growled, pressing his erection against your thigh. “Holy fuck. You’re soaked.”
“I told you,” you said, feeling like your brain was about to melt and drip out of your ears. It was hard to concentrate when he was making out with your neck like that, sucking and biting the skin before liking the same spot he had just attacked. Still, the sudden plunging of his finger inside your pussy caught your attention in an instant. “J-Jungkook, I’m—” 
How shameful was it that you couldn’t even finish a damn sentence? Lust was getting the best of you, pushing your rationalizations aside and filling your lungs with desire. Jungkook soon added a second finger inside you, stretching you wide as he continued to fuck you. It was a fantastic sensation — his hand was much larger than yours, and you were sure you’d be able to cum like that if it kept it up for long enough. 
Jungkook moaned against your neck, pulling his head back so he could take a look at you. His cock throbbed at the sight of your dazed-out face, your parted lips looking so dangerously inviting to him, “Tell me what you want,” he asked, diving in to kiss you. He sucked on your tongue, making you whine as he pulled back. “I’ll give you whatever you want.” 
“Want you,” you said, nails digging into his shoulder blades. 
Jungkook liked the sharp pain that came from it, raising the speed of his fingers just a bit. “I’m right here.”
“No,” you whimpered, blinking back the tears of frustration that covered your irises. God, Jungkook couldn’t even believe you were all his. “Want your cock inside me, please.” 
Listening to you saying that was like experiencing a choir of angels singing directly to him. Jungkook had waited far too long to get you alone like that, so beautiful and pliant beneath him, and there was no way in hell he would deny you your request. 
So he got moving, his hand flying to the back of his shirt, which he tugged off with one swift motion. Your eyes fell to his toned chest, roaming his sweaty skin as he moved onto his belt. “Take those off.” He signaled with his head towards your panties. 
You nodded, sliding your underwear down and throwing it to the side. Even with his jacket still on — which, you admitted, it was both objectively and subjectively hot — you felt extremely exposed, thighs closing just slightly when Jungkook took his pants and boxers off. 
“Keep them open,” he warned, his stare stuck to your glistening folds, and you did. His face was one of sheer lust, tongue coming out to wet his lips as he placed himself back in place. “Wanna see you cum on my fingers,” he breathed, “but I’m too hard. Need to be inside you right now.” 
Your attention flickered downwards, pulled by the small collision of his cock against your clit. You winced at the feeling, but one of his large hands kept you in place as he moved closer to your heat. The constant drumming of your pulse was all that you could hear for a second, heart skipping a beat when you fully noticed his size. 
Would it be weird to say that Jungkook had a pretty dick? Because he did. And a big one too, which made you second guess your own limits for a moment. 
As if he was reading your mind, his cockhead pressed against your pussy, so warm and wet that Jungkook swore he was about to lose his mind — or what was left of it. There was nothing more that he wanted then to nestle himself in your heat, bury himself deep inside you until you were the only thing he could think about. “Shit, look at you,” he murmured, brushing his tip against your entrance. Your figure twitched under him, a soft gasp leaving your mouth at the feeling. “Bet I could slide right in.” 
He was hypnotized by the squelching sounds of your pussy, the way your opening fluttered around his crown as he slowly started to press himself into you. He wanted to do it slowly so he could pay attention to every detail of you, every small exclamation of pleasure that dripped like honey from your lips. 
The world around you two was getting smaller and hotter by the minute, suffocating you and pulling the air out of your lungs. Your eyelashes fluttered as Jungkook’s cock slid inside you, just the tip at first, your back arching as your walls clenched around him, almost as if your body was rejecting his size. “You’re so big,” you whined, burry eyes fighting to focus on his face. 
Jungkook, however, wasn’t looking at you, but at the way his member sank between your folds, diving into your wet heat. “Yeah?” He breathed out, jaw clenching. It was taking everything inside him not to start pounding into you. “I’m sure you can take it, don’t you think?” 
You nodded, and it took a moment for your words to catch up to you. “Y-Yes,” you said. 
Jungkook was more than halfway inside you now, and his mind was more than halfway gone, thrown out of the window and into the gelid nocturnal winds. The way you were wrapping around him should be illegal; you were so perfect that jungkook was sure he could never find a drug that would get him so high. “That’s it, be greedy for me,” he groaned, “take everything.” 
He went as deep as he could, his cock almost brushing against your cervix and your cunt throbbing against him. Maybe he had died and was in paradise, because there was no way he could be feeling so good. 
“Move, please,” you asked meekly. 
Lucky you, he was more than happy to comply. 
Jungkook tilted his hips back, until just his tip was still inside you, only to bottom out again, feeling as your cunt throbbed around him. He did this with unbearable patience at first, allowing your body to get accustomed to his cock splitting you open before he started to pick up the pace. Most of his self control had already burned out, though, at it wasn’t long before he was fucking you fast, rough; groaning at the way your tits jumped every time he shived his length back inside you. 
Once again, he felt like a virgin — you were too much, it seemed. Everything about you got him searching for the stars, wishing for more and moaning out every time your cunt squeezed around him. You were so fucking wet, he thought, so tight and warm, that he wasn’t even thinking about cumming, just about how wished to keep fucking you forever. At the same time, Jungkook was sure that he wouldn’t last long, not when you were looking at him like that, calling his name again and again until it silenced all his thoughts. 
Your breath hitched when his cock brushed against your sensitive spot. “Right there, right there,” you sobbed, nails scratching the skin of his arms. Jungkook caught onto your request straight away, keeping the same angle until you were a babbling mess under him. “Oh m-my god, yeah,” you cried out. “S-So good.”
“Fuck, that’s tight,” Jungkook cursed, his hands digging into your thighs, shoving them up for him so he could reach deeper, fuck you harder. He couldn’t stop moaning, gasping, producing the most beautiful sounds for you. “S-Shit, you’re just pulling my cock in. Your pussy feels amazing.” If given enough time, he could go crazy staring at the way in which his cock disappeared between your folds, only to come back dripping with your arousal, and then slamming back in. “You’re just so fucking hot,” he couldn’t help but say it out loud. “Play with your tits for me.” 
You didn’t have the guts to deny him, your hands palming your tits, squeezing the soft flesh. You whimpered at the feeling, eyes closing in bliss as he continued to fuck you. 
“That’s it, so good for me,” Jungkook praised, hips losing their rhythm for a second. His cock was already throbbing, orgasm threatening to hit him any time now. He needed you to cum first, though. “Your pussy too. Come on.” 
That time, you hesitated a little, a broken sob falling from your lips as you found his gaze. However, you couldn’t deny it — you wanted to be good for him, to get his praises again and again until that was all that you could hear. So you followed his command, two fingers, sinking into your wetness before trailing back to your clit. 
A rush of pleasure ran through your veins, pussy clenching around his cock as your moments grew desperate, needy for more. You were bordering on delirious by that point, your mind unable to focus on one thing, instead jumping between all the stimulation you were getting — your hand squeezing your breast; your fingers rubbing your clit; Jungkook’s cock drilling inside you. “T-Too much,” you cried. 
God, but that’s exactly what he wanted. Jungkook wanted to see that pretty, overwhelmed face of yours, wanted to show you that every minute of waiting had been worth it. “Yeah? But you can take it for me, can’t you?” He moaned under his breath, starting to get lost in his own pleasure. You were getting tighter by the second, which was a dangerous thing. “You can cream my cock if I ask you to, right?”
“Y-yeah,” you stammered. “I’ll do anything f-for you.” 
Jungkook sighed at your words, cock throbbing inside you. “Good girl, just like that,” he husked. “Such a good girl.” 
Tears started to prickle your eyes, and you didn’t know if it was because of how overwhelmed you were, or because your emotions were just now starting to tip over. “J-Jungkook,” you called his name, for a moment not knowing if you would follow it up with something else. His eyes found your own, dazed ones, and his heart skipped a beat at how beautiful and his you looked at that moment. “Love y-you.” 
Years of fantasizing about that confession could’ve never prepared the two of you for such an honest, unexpected moment. Jungkook felt his soul reach levels of happiness which he had never experienced before, mouth only able to say one thing in return. “Love you too.” He pressed his forehead against yours, movements becoming more sloppy, desperate. The new angle was an amazing discovery, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside you, which tore a loud cry from you. “Holy shit,” he moaned. “You’re getting so fucking t-tight around my cock.” 
“Close,” you breathed out, letting go of his previous requests and just taking your hands to his face instead. Jungkook stared at you like he could see the entire universe in your eyes, his hot breaths hitting your face in gentle waves. “K-Kiss me, please.” 
There was no need to repeat yourself. Jungkook crashed his mouth against yours, trapping you in a kiss that felt both like too much and too little at the same. You barely had any time to dive into the caress of his lips on yours before your high washed over you — walls spasming around his length as you dove into bliss; moaning into the kiss and holding to his broad shoulders. 
He broke the kiss right after, a stuttering, failed breath leaving his chest. “L-Love you,” he choked out, “so much.” Jungkook gasped. He was so close, but, at the same time, he didn’t want to let go just yet. It felt too good — having you was too perfect. “Can’t b-believe you’re mine.” 
You smiled at his state, one hand brushing the sweaty hair away from his forehead. “Love you too,” you said back. You could say it again and again, without ever getting tired. After so many years swallowing it down, nothing felt so free. “It’s okay, you can let go.” 
Jungkook nodded, only mildly aware of his own actions. With all the force within him, he pushed himself away from you, pulling out from your heat. Soon, his hand wrapped around his cock, using your arousal to pump himself towards his much-needed release. “Shit,” he choked up, throwing his head back. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna—” 
Jungkook grunted as he finally reached his high; cock throbbing in his hands. His cum splattered all over your belly, a few white ropes hitting the underside of your tits as well; dripping down to your mound and pelvis as his movements started to slow down. Even then, so fucked-out and overwhelmed, Jungkook looked like a god you’d be more than happy to worship. 
“Fuck,” he heaved, hooded eyes trailing over your form. By some miracle, probably the work of some mysterious sports god, his jacket remained untouched. “That looks so hot.” 
You smiled, taking a glimpse at your body. “And messy.” 
He let out a breathy, tired laugh. “Yeah. Gonna clean you up, just give me a second. I almost blacked out here.” 
Playfully, you kicked the side of his thigh. “You better,” you told him. “And don’t be so melodramatic.” 
“Rude.” He leaned in, placing a kiss on your lips. You still felt like you were dreaming, trapped in an alternate reality. If that was the case, you didn’t want to wake up. “Next time I’ll cum in your mouth so you’ll learn some manners.” 
Next time. Those words fell like a stone inside your stomach. It was pretty much impossible to mask your lovesick gaze now. “Yeah, bold of you to believe it’ll change a thing.” You pushed him off you, signaling towards the bathroom. “Go, be a good boy and go get me a towel.” 
Jungkook rolled his eyes, but did as you said, leaving the bed soon after. “I liked you better when you were pretending to be my fake girlfriend,” he spoke from the corridor. “You were more polite.”
“I was acting,” you said. “This is what you’re gonna get.” 
He laughed, appearing back in the room. “Ah, well, I guess I made my choice years ago.” 
That managed to shut you up real fast, heart hammering against your ribcage as Jungkook started cleaning you up. His movements were tender on your skin, feather-like touches that moved up your abdomen, to your breasts, then back between your legs. During all that, a familiar, comfortable silence fell between you two — one that you had grown used to; so empty and yet so full. 
After he was done, Jungkook discarded the towel, returning to his rightful place next to you. Like it was your second nature, you curled yourself up next to him, head resting on his chest and his arm wrapping around your waist. 
The world was perfect for exactly thirty seconds before he decided to ruin it. “So…” Jungkook started, a mischievous smirk already curling on his lips, “you like like me.” 
You scoffed, propping your chin on his chest and meeting his gaze. Jungkook was too cute and too hot for his own good, and his post-sex state managed to incorporate both elements in a hazardous combination. “Yes. And you like like me back.” You remarked. “Did you seriously have to go through all these steps instead of just, I don’t know, telling me?” 
He threw his head back, eyes closing in sheer desperation. “I didn’t know!” 
“Everyone knew!” You exclaimed back, flabbergasted. You couldn’t believe that all those years of shared distress could’ve been solved with the most basic common sense. “Do you think I watch your games because I like them? I tell you all the time I hate sports! Dumbass!” 
Jungkook flinched when you slapped the top of his head lightly, forging pain. “Ouch! You’re the dumbass. And I thought you were kidding.” He pouted, eyes drifting off towards a corner of the room. You could tell he was thinking, so you gave him his time. “But now that you mention it…”
You rolled your eyes, laying back down. “Yeah, that’s not so hard to—”
“I cannot stand body horror.” 
“What?” You shrieked, sitting up at lightning speed. That managed to be the most unexpected thing Jungkook had told you that night — scratcher that: ever. “You told me you loved watching body horror with me.” 
He shook his head, an expression of disgust on his face as he was reminded of every horror movie he had ever watched. “I almost puke watching it. I just pretend I enjoy it because it makes you happy.” 
For a moment, your mouth hung open, mind working a million miles per hour to make sense of his admission. Thinking back to it, you had noticed how frequently Jungkook went to the bathroom while watching Tusk; about how many times he coughed and turned his head away from the Human Centipede. “Oh my god.” Your shoulders slumped, your voice was a frail little thing, filled by disbelief. You couldn’t call him dumb when you had acted just the same. “We’re both idiots.”
Jungkook laughed as you returned to your previous position, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Yeah, I think that’s the only possible conclusion.”
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taegularities · 22 days ago
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a thousand reasons why | jjk (m)
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Summary: “And if all of this experience was indeed a dream, you chose to stay just a little longer.”
After leaving to work towards his dream rather than the bonds that shackle him to home, you didn't expect to see Jungkook again years later at your best friend's wedding. And even less, for love to rekindle at second glance.
pairing: Jungkook x reader
genre: f2l; fluff, angst, smut, crack
warnings: a whole laundry list tf: (past) minor character death, somewhat toxic parents, (mentions of) gambling, blond & then 5th muster pied piper (fuckboy) jk lol, this jimin, jealousy, alcohol consumption, unrequited love (not between jk & oc), friends fighting; explicit multiple (2) sex scenes that include: dom & big dick!jk, light hair pulling, marking, tiddie sucking/breast play, clit pinching, pussy slapping, soft & rough sex, praising, biting, some spit ig, oral (f. & m.), fingering, handjob, consent <3, cockwarming, squirting, oversensitivity, multiple orgasms, mouth fucking,… uhh, consensual drunk sex, protected & unprotected sex.... yeah
word count: 43.1k (i sincerely apologise <3)
credits: such a beautiful banner by my lovely @taemaknae​​ <3 !! beta’d by @bangtanhome​​​ @hobiandsprite​​ & @missgeniality​​ - your brains are exquisite and this fic would be NOTHING without you !! & parts read by @hantaev​​ ILY ALL <3
a/n: i’m honestly SORRY for the wc lol pls still read tho, i worked so so hard on it :’) based on the 2013 movie YJHD! and a belated love letter to one of my favourite people in this world - happy birthday, jeon jungkook. i’ll always be inspired by your words and admire you forever <3
uploaded to AO3, too (for those who prefer pdfs or mobile readings!) + the fic is split in ‘Before’ & ‘Now’ - that way, you can read it in 2 sittings if you’d like <3
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➳ listen to the (collaborative!) ATRW playlist for the full experience!
MASTERLIST | WIPs
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The slowly vanishing light of the sun bathes the room in a golden glow when you close the door to your apartment behind you.
Coming home feels different today. With the boxes under your arms, you feel the weight of the postcards and invitations heavier than usual. After letting Dia ramble about the plans for the next few days, dreamy eyes drifting off now and then, you’ve grown increasingly tired this evening. And yet, you can’t wait to send off the cards that remain before the big day breaks in.
You lift the sunglasses from your eyes and place them on your head, not bothering to change your clothes before you sit down at your desk and start putting the invitations into envelopes. You wait and read with a thumping heart, fingers working through the pile quickly until you finally see it.
His name, written in fancy, swirled letters under the D and M that curl into each other elegantly.
Even after all these years, you’ve not forgotten what he used to make you feel - the nostalgia seems everlingering and only seems to increase when you think back to the time you spent together. The days that had passed in a blink of an eye, barely giving you the chance to memorise his touches, his words and his smile.
And now, even more memories seem to come flashing back: snow-covered mountains and steep hills, ghost stories, cozy night talks, loud pool parties and walks to the town at dawn. All of this, you’ve left behind ages ago, years passing by without ever hearing his melodious voice even once. By now, it feels like a whole different life.
You smile at the paper, still remembering the ache that parting from him had brought you; you know you have to get past all this, because you’re sure that he has too. He isn’t one to dwell on could’ve’s and would’ve’s.
In the quiet of the room, you close your eyes, head leaning back as the sun goes down. You don’t know if he’ll decide to appear this time without ignoring your invites to get-togethers and trips. But if he does, you know exactly what that would entail.
You’d see Jeon Jungkook’s face after a neverending eternity again.
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Before
Your mother had always been judgemental in some way or another.
Coloured hair was a sign of rebellion to her, piercings a danger for the skin and tattoos a permanent waste of money that could be invested into something more useful, such as clothes and jewellery and oh, maybe even manicures.
While you’d long stopped listening to her complaints, being the diligent and careful girl you were, things seemed out of line a little more these days. Something she proved only further when you found yourself in the grocery store with her, standing in the ridiculously long line at the check-out that didn’t seem to move at all.
“Y/N? Oh my gosh, is that really you?”
You recognised the voice before you looked up at her, eyes blown wide when your gaze met hers. She looked different. Coloured hair or had it always been this fiery red? Maybe she just seemed so changed to you because you hadn’t seen her for five years, a bandana decorating her head and crop top revealing the little piercing over her belly button.
“Dia!” you answered, half excited and half worried about meeting her here in front of your mother - you knew she’d have nothing good to say about your high school friend as soon as she’d lay eyes on the open minded, free spirited soul.
In truth, Dia had always been one of the friendliest girls in your class. There wasn’t a single day where she’d said anything to put you down in front of the others, she and her gang always letting you crawl into a corner and read books that interested no one but you.
Dia and her friends were always a loud group - teasing the teachers, provoking classmates without ever going too far and filling the atmosphere of the classroom with jokes and fun conversations. And in all honesty, you hadn’t thought you’d ever see her again.
“How are you doing? When did you get here? Shopping for today’s dinner, I see?” she asked before she smiled at you. Her grin was radiant, full of life, eyes sparkling - so different from yours; you who didn’t know pleasures of life but only studying for the degree that you’d chosen so long ago.
You nodded, head tilting and only faintly noticing that your mother was peeking past you to find out who you were talking to. You didn’t glance at her on purpose; you didn’t want to see her drama-hungry eyes ogling at your former sort-of-friend with what you were sure was disgust.
“Yeah, just some… potatoes and tea and stuff. And you?”
She grinned again, white teeth flashing as she practically vibrated through her excitement. “I was just buying some dry fruit and other snacks for a trip. Look! We’re going here!” Her hand wandered to her back pocket, fishing out a brochure that she’d folded in half. She opened the paper, smoothing it with her hand before she handed it to you. “That’s in two days. Don’t know what you’ve been up to lately, but why don’t you take a break from school and come with us?”
Us.
Her old circle, you were sure.
You side eyed your mother, a sigh escaping your lips and gaze falling onto the floor when you realised that you couldn’t - even at the mature age of twenty-three, you couldn’t leave. But instead of delving into the real reason, you only licked your lips, glad when the line moved and your mother with it.
“I don’t think so. I have to study for some exams, so I might not be-”
Dia, however, interrupted your half-assed, lame excuses, shrugging her shoulders before she pointed out, “That’s okay, I understand. I just told you about it since it’s summer. No school and stuff, so why not have some fun, right?”
You let out a little laugh, heart falling heavily at the thought of your restrictions and mouth growing dry as you told her, “Thank you. I appreciate it, Dia.”
She patted your shoulders twice, smiling at you for one last time before she switched to another cashier who’d just arrived, buying her dry fruit and then strolling away from you in confidence.
You waited for your mother to speak up; tell you everything that had collected in her mind since Dia had approached you up to the point she’d left you. But nothing came.
Yet.
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Sneaking out was always easier than sneaking in.
When Jungkook came home, the lights were out - which was the first indication of a sleeping household. He held his breath as he took careful steps towards his room, clutching the straps of his bag tightly and lips agape in a pout.
It seemed to go well, smoothly. That is until he heard the honey sweet voice of his father break through the silence, a timid little, “So you’re home too, huh?”
Jungkook’s hand shot to his chest, body flinching before he stepped into the dark living room and asked, “What are you doing?”
“I was… reading a book.”
“In the dark?” Jungkook mocked as he switched on the light, eyes falling on his father who was sitting under the picture of his late wife that they’d hung onto the wall years ago.
Since Jungkook’s mother had died, the atmosphere in his home had changed. Loneliness had befallen every room that still remained unchanged, his father’s heart falling but never failing to lift up Jungkook’s mood instead.
He joined his father at the table, a sigh leaving his lips and fingers intertwining on top of the cheap wood. “Why didn’t you go to sleep, Dad?”
The man in question leaned back, long dark hair tucked behind his ears and palms settling on his tummy. From the chair next to him, he brought up a brochure and placed it on the table, causing Jungkook’s already huge eyes to widen even more.
His expression shifted to an annoyed one, body already preparing to leave before his father gestured for him to stay. Jungkook obliged - but not without giving his father a piece of his mind, blond hair falling into his face.
“I told you not to go into my room. I don’t like it when you look through my stuff, you know that,” he exclaimed, feeling worse with each word he uttered as his dad’s eyes stayed soft, loving.
“I was looking for old pictures when I stumbled upon this,” he answered, nodding to the brochure. “You know you can always tell me everything. Why didn’t you, Jungkook?”
His fingers began fiddling with the flyer, sadness temporarily taking over his features. And before Jungkook could answer, another presence joined the men at the dinner table, bringing a glass and some lemonade in front of him before she said, “It’s about the money, too, you know?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes, watching the woman sit down as he folded his arms. His jaw clenched, but his stepmother didn’t pay any mind to it, instead continuing, “We’re a little low on funds. And that’s why we want you to be more responsible with the money you earn. You shouldn’t regret it later, Kookie.”
“Don’t,” he remarked, chest falling heavier now as he heard the name that his mother had always used when he was little, “I can take care of myself. It’s hard earned money over months and I’m not even using all of it. Besides, you’re not my mother… so please…”
He didn’t touch the lemonade she’d poured him. Fury clearly written in his eyes, he shoved the chair back, gripping his bag again before he vanished into his room. Entering it and shutting the door behind him brought him some solace; just the way it always did, even now as he stepped in with a gulp.
His gaze fell onto the wall he’d so carefully decorated over the years, now barely a spot left to attach another picture. Scattered over his desk, photographs of various countries and cities greeted him. The Eiffel Tower. Pyramids of Giza. Different places in Germany, temples in Japan and Cape Town in South Africa.
Jungkook wanted to visit it all. Every single corner of the world, every alley, river, ocean and forest - he wanted to be able to say he’d seen it all and had done everything a young heart desired when he’d lay on his deathbed. He knew that one day he would see all the hidden spots of the world. Money was always an issue - but he knew that soon, it might not be anymore.
He turned around to sit on his bed, starting to slide down the suitcase off his bed when he saw a brand new bag sitting on his pillow, big and dark blue. Lifting it to his face, his expression became questioning, mind whirring for only a second before he realised where it’d come from.
And as if on cue, his father entered the room, a proud smile creeping up his face as he asked, “Do you like it?”
“You… you didn’t have to…” Jungkook murmured, sitting down on the edge of the bed and hugging the bag close to his chest. “But I love it.”
“I know I didn't have to. But it’s the least I could do. Was worried I wouldn’t be able to give you anything before you go.” He sat down next to Jungkook, rubbing his back soothingly as the young man stared to the floor, guilt washing over him painfully.
“Dad, I don’t… want you to be worried about me all the time.”
His father chuckled, patting his shoulders as he asked, “Why are you going hiking then? Standing at cliffs and looking down into nothing… is that so important to you?”
Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek, letting out a breath. Then, he looked his father in his eyes, merely uttering, “A lot.” He paused for a moment, running his fingernails along the material of his bag before he added, “Thank you for the bag, Dad.”
A finger came up to touch Jungkook’s loose strand of hair lightly, a nod accompanying his actions when he told his son, “I like this hair colour.” At least one smile his father managed to draw out of him, knowing how Jungkook had planned to leave his dark hair behind for quite some while.
With the changes Jungkook had gone through not only physically but mentally as well, his father could clearly see how much time had passed since he’d been a toddler who’d cried about broken toys and loud noises. Something about the thought of his son growing up like this hurt him - but then again, he supposed that’s how all parents felt at that age.
Melancholy gripping his heart, he thought of silent days ahead but felt happy for Jungkook anyway, standing up slowly as he told him, “Take care of yourself. Okay? And have a lot of fun there for me, too.”
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Your mother didn’t talk about Dia until you gathered at the dinner table the next night, barely touching your food as the pictures of the mountain on the brochure floated in your brain like a curse. Ringrey Rise was its name, in a town with the same name that seemed near enough to reach by travelling one night but far enough to escape your current worries.
With all the hopes and dreams that seemed so out of reach for you, you registered your mother talking about Dia when it was too late to interrupt, shifting your attention from your rice to her raised eyebrows.
“I mean, what is she even doing? Studying? It doesn’t look like it.”
You clenched your jaw in annoyance, rolling your eyes as you answered, “Not everyone wants to be a doctor in life, Mom.”
“She could be something, though, right?” Her head turned to your father, his glasses reflecting his potatoes as he let her talk, no urge to participate in the conversation whatsoever. As always.
“How would you know that she isn’t doing anything?” you then snapped, your cutlery falling onto the plate with a loud clunk. “And why do you even care? Would anything change for you if she was the manager of the world’s largest company or whatever?”
You never usually raised your voice at her - and in that sense, you weren’t surprised when her eyes grew larger with every word you let out, mouth agape in shock. She leaned into you, fire blazing behind her pupils as she asked, “What did you say?”
But you didn’t want to back away anymore. “Just what I had to.”
And with that, you stood, taking your half-full plate with you before you resorted to your room. The pout that your lips fell into stayed for a few hours without anyone wiping it off - or even trying to. All you could do was to sulk away, face the reality of your little self being caged in your own little world, unable to fight against the forces that had raised you.
But then, you shook your head. No. You were too young, too free to endure this kind of treatment. You, too, deserved to experience the world, see things that happened outside your four walls and over the pages of your medical college books. There was so much more to see than dull words and silent routines.
With this courage coursing through your body, you made a decision late at night, gathering all the money you’d saved for any special event and leaving a note at the counter that would render your mother speechless for hours the next morning.
I’m sorry, Mom. I just need to get out of here for a while. Don’t be worried - I’ll be okay.
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Jungkook always needed twenty minutes longer to arrive somewhere than initially planned. It was a timeframe that suited Jimin particularly well today, considering the fact that the man had been sitting at the same spot with his suitcase under him with his eyes glued to the TV at the railway station.
To most people walking around, the football match wasn’t anyhow relevant - but to Jimin, it meant either staying here or enjoying a whole week in Ringrey with his closest friends. Dia was walking circles around him as they waited for Jungkook to arrive, telling Jimin to calm down since it was nothing more but “wild people running around, chasing a ball or whatever”.
“It’s the way this man is lazing around on the field. It irks me,” Jimin said, gaze never leaving the screen as Dia placed her arms on his head from behind.
“Why don’t you talk to me instead then?” she asked with a subtle smile he couldn’t see, trying to make sense of his sudden devotion to the game. “I won’t annoy you.”
Jimin clicked his tongue, shaking her off and rubbing his palms on his jeans. “You always annoy me.”
“Rude.”
With a grimace, Dia stepped away, hearing someone run towards them before she could lay her eyes on him. He was dressed in a thin, red button up today, one hand carrying a big bag and a rucksack draped over his shoulders. The messy, dirty blond hair covered his eyes almost fully, and he flicked it away with a tilt of his head as he saw Dia tap her feet impatiently.
“Finally! We have like, what, fifteen minutes left?” She glanced down at her clock, eyes widening before she smacked Jungkook’s arm. “Ten!”
“Calm down. I’m here now! We’ll be on the train in five minutes and- where’s Jimin?”
His eyes wandered around, a small laugh escaping when he detected his best friend right next to him, still so distracted that he didn’t even hear or notice Jungkook arrive. Firm hands gripped Jimin’s shoulders and shook him, but the older man was too lost in what looked like defeat for his team to acknowledge Jungkook’s greetings.
“Fuck…” His head fell low, fingers coming up to rub his eyes before he said, “You guys…”
Dia and Jungkook both hummed, watching worry creep up Jimin’s face that they couldn’t explain without context just yet. His mood was unexpected - but his following declaration surprised them more.
“Go without me.”
Silence came over the atmosphere while the whole train station was bustling, Dia’s arms falling to the side and Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowing. She looked at Jungkook for a moment, licking her lips before she asked, “What?”
“Just… you two can go. I don’t feel like it anymore.”
Excuses started running through Jungkook’s mind wildly - he knew his best friend wasn’t one to back away from an adventure like this without a proper reason. The fact that he was sitting here, bags packed and clothes neat, indicated that it had to be something that had just now come over him.
Jungkook’s gaze followed Jimin’s, eyes squinting when he saw two men in suits discuss the outcome of the football game and what had happened on the field. And then, a bulb lit up over his head, mouth falling open knowingly as he inquired, “You gambled your money away again, didn’t you?” He pointed one finger to the monitor. “And you bet on the team that just lost.”
Jimin’s chest rose and fell slowly, an exasperated expression taking over his features before he shrugged. Dia rolled her eyes in annoyance, fingers of her hand brushing through her hair as she felt her heart drop at the thought of travelling without him.
“Once!” she exclaimed, hitting his shoulder with her handbag. “Just once you could’ve tried to not risk losing your money on shit like that. We’ve been planning this for literal mo-”
Jungkook’s raised hand interrupted her, jaw clenching in the same annoyance but voice soothing and reassuring as he spoke again. “Come on, bud. I’ll pay for you. I mean, the hotel fees and stuff are the only things you’d need to pay for, right? We’ve already bought the train tickets and all.”
Jimin’s head shook violently, forefinger wiggling in front of his face as he told Jungkook no repeatedly. He wasn’t one to reliably pay people back, and he didn’t want to risk his friendship with the man who’d led him through high school exams, graduation and some of their adult years.
But Jungkook was having none of his protests. “No. Listen, we only have seven minutes left. It’s fine, I’ll just buy less alcohol and order cheaper food when we eat somewhere.”
The guilt that washed over Jimin was marked, but the look in Jungkook’s eyes was stern enough for the older man to decipher that his friend wouldn’t give in - he knew these two might in the end even rather cancel the whole trip than go without him.
With his hand on his thighs, he stood, beginning to roll his little suitcase behind him as he cheered, “Okay then! You both know I’m easy to convince.”
Dia’s grin couldn’t get wider as she walked alongside both men to the respective train, jumping a little with each step as she chanted the name of the destination over and over again. For now, she’d scolded him enough - maybe she’d do it again later.
But at the moment, they had to concentrate on finding the right number of their carriage, already running late with only three minutes left. Jungkook was quick to help Dia with her two small bags, carrying them to their cubicle before running out to his own belongings as well.
And that’s when he laid eyes on you for the first time again.
Your hair rested on your shoulders gently, lost eyes darting between the train and the paper in your hand and a soft, sweet summer dress hugging your body comfortably. The movements around him stood still for a moment as he saw you come closer, everything about you so enchanting on the first sight already that he nearly forgot the luggage he still had to carry inside.
As soon as your focus settled on his face, your eyes widened, mouth opening with a grin as you declared, “I knew I’d see you here!”
Jungkook tilted his head, eyes blinking in confusion for only two seconds before he pulled himself together again and asked you, “We met a few years back, right? At a barbeque party? Or a baby shower.”
Your smile faded slowly, lips pressing together and mind whirring with explanations to how he could’ve forgotten you after sharing a class for so long. The mischievous look he was shooting at you clearly spoke volumes - tell-tale signs of a stranger approaching another stranger in hopes to flatter them, but you knew better than to give in to his lip biting and amused look.
“You’ll be embarrassed if I told you where I know you from… Jungkook.”
You folded your arms in front of your chest, well aware that the train was going to leave soon - but with the nervousness that had made its way to your guts, you felt unsure now anyway. Jungkook’s confusion seemed a good distraction from your nerves.
“Come on,” he pleaded with a crooked smile, tucking the long blond hair behind his ear, “tell me.”
You looked down to the ground, detecting the bag between his and your feet as you answered, “Eleventh grade… the trekking trip during which I fell. My knee started bleeding and you wrapped your thin cardigan around it…”
“Oh!”
“And then you helped me walk to our class to catch up with them…”
“Yes!” he interrupted, leaning over to you and giving you a tight hug as if you’d been the closest friends in high school that the building had seen, despite sometimes barely exchanging a single word in a span of a month. “Y/N, I remember you! Gosh, I’m sorry. It’s just… you got so beautiful, I didn’t recogni-”
He stopped as you raised an eyebrow, trying to walk past him before he gripped your shoulders tightly. “I mean! You were always pretty, but you’ve grown into a full-on heartthrob!”
You scoffed, eyes rolling as you snuck past him to greet the man behind Jungkook who looked strongly like the trip leader you were looking for. Gaze following you, Jungkook leaned against the train, watching your desperate self trying to convince the guide to let you join the hiking trip.
“You got lucky, honestly,” he was telling you, checking the ticket you’d given him and your ID card, “you were the last one to book the trip and now we’re completely full.”
You gave him a sweet smile as excitement came back rushing into you, one that let the half of your face that Jungkook could see glow enough for him to not want to avert his eyes anymore. One single lock fell into your face when you tilted your head, your voice so soothing as you conversed with the guide.
You had definitely changed. Jungkook didn’t know in which ways exactly yet - but he knew you had.
He barely noticed when you came back with a radiant glow on your face, nodding towards the train to make him follow you, too. Excitement washed over you in waves, but it was only inside when you sat between three people - including Jungkook - that you began to feel out of place.
Because as soon as you entered your cabin, Jimin began to talk about your successes at school, praising your intelligence, diligence and determination as if it affected him directly. All you could do was thank him repeatedly, and when he didn’t notice Dia poking him with a lunch box, you used the opportunity to bring his attention to something else.
“Eat that,” Dia told him when he finally looked down to the sandwiches she’d made. And when he clicked his tongue and declined, she opened her mouth in protest. “Eat that! It’s a ham and cheese sandwich! Your favourite! I woke up at six in the morning to make these for you.”
“Wha- are you an idiot, why would you do that?” he asked, their argument continuing, but your mind drifted off to somewhere else. Or more precisely, to the door of your cabin, a girl with a crop top and skimpy shorts standing at the frame of the entrance with an apple in her hand, oozing blinding and admirable confidence.
“Hi,” she greeted you with flashing white teeth, moving her hips like she was on a runway and not on a dusty train. “Do you guys happen to have a knife?”
Jimin and Dia shook their heads apologetically, but Jungkook suddenly had the biggest grin on his face, pulling a penknife from the pocket of his leather jacket as he said, “Seems like a lucky day for you.”
She gave him a sweet, big-eyed look, eyelashes fluttering as she thanked him in a thick accent you didn’t recognise. But before she could grab it, he pulled back, brushing his hair back before he asked, “But if I give you that, I want something in return.”
A questioning look graced her pretty features, arms folding when her annoying cadence asked him what he wanted. He squinted his eyes, acting as if he was thinking hard until he snapped his fingers and told her, “Your name?”
“Youra,” she said with a giggle, reaching out her hand to all of you as you introduced yourself.
And when her palm met Jungkook’s, he let the knife slide into her hand slowly, saying, “Call me Bunny. Like… Bugs Bunny?” She chuckled again, rolling her eyes in delight. “Besides. Why don’t you eat lunch with us? An apple will do nothing for you.”
“Yeah, have some sandwiches!” Jimin offered, snatching the box out of Dia’s hands while she gasped in disbelief loudly. Not that she could fight him much, though - the boys were entirely in their element.
“Really? Oh, then I’ll call my girls and we can eat together?” Youra cheered, much to Jimin and Jungkook’s delight who lit up at the sound of the word girls. Dia and you were seemingly the only sane people here.
And then, there you were, sitting in the corner of the long seat, pressed against the window with three girls you didn’t know and didn’t want to get to know. They were obnoxious, you soon gathered that much. They almost talked like mean girls in aimless TV shows, gesturing and moving their heads excessively, judging fashion styles while scrunching their nose at the train smell - but somehow, this seemed to flatter the men.
A true sense of discomfort washed over you when one of the girls - Leena maybe? - suggested playing ‘Never Have I Ever’. Because although you weren’t one to reject alcohol, the mere thought of drinking with these people unsettled you deeply - especially when the consequences were unknown.
“Okay, me first,” Youra said, leaning into Jungkook’s chest who’d shamelessly draped an arm over her shoulder. How he managed to do that with strangers was beyond you. “Never have I ever fallen in love.”
Almost everyone drank to that - except Jungkook and you; something even Youra questioned, surprised.
“No,” he told her, leaning in close, “but maybe I will on this trip?”
You rolled your eyes, annoyed by his boldness and movie-like lines, the cringe reaching no one but you apparently.
“Alright, never have I ever… snuck out of my house for a party,” Leena then proposed; and again, everyone took a sip from their drink, this time even Jungkook.
Jimin, who had so graciously offered his seat to the third girl whose name you didn’t remember, then raised his hand from where he was sitting on the floor. “Me! Uh- never have I ever gotten caught by the police.”
And much to your surprise, even then they lifted their cups; yet again all of them, except you. High school was bad - but feeling out of place here, on a trip that was supposed to be fun, gave you a new and different kind of pain.
As they counted the times they had been arrested because of pissing on a fire hydrant, driving drunk or throwing rave parties, you started to drift off. And when everything began feeling too much, you stood, all eyes shifting to you as you said, “I think I’ll lay down a little. I’m really tired.”
“But it’s your turn now!” Jimin half yelled, probably already tipsy.
“No,” you said, shaking your head slightly and gaze settling on Jungkook automatically for a reason you couldn’t depict, “I’m sorry. Is it okay for you guys if I take the top bunk?”
Jimin and Dia hummed approvingly, Jungkook’s empathic eyes looking deep into yours as he, too, told you, “Of course.”
“Thanks,” you almost whispered, climbing up and laying down with a heavy heart as you heard them play on. They brought some more examples of things you’d never done, reaching from smoking weed to having wild threesomes.
It took some time for you to fall asleep - but when you did, you drifted off with the hopes of finding more of where you belonged through this trip; more of who you were and what your story was.
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Air high above the ground was surely different from the one you were used to in your little, dusty town. The freshness and healthy oxygen that floated in the atmosphere was enough for you to loosen up, mind and body relaxing the moment you’d stepped out of the bus that had brought you from the train station to your hotel.
The first thing you saw was the pretty fountain right in front of the entrance, everything reminding you of nature, forest and warm tea on chilly evenings. Before you went in, your guide - whose name you’d learnt was Jay - stopped to explain the whole procedure: the hike would last for five days and four nights before you came down to relax at a pool party and departed the next day eventually.
And when he was done, you approached the hotel with wide, excited eyes, only stopping when you felt a light hand on your shoulder and a friendly voice say, “I told them we’d share a room. You don’t snore, do you?”
Hazel eyes warmed your insides, Dia’s constant attempts to include you in her group filling you with affection. You shook your head before she put an arm around your shoulder, going into the facility before Jimin yelled from behind, “Be careful that she doesn’t jump your bones at night, Y/N!”
Dia scoffed, craning her neck to snap back, “Even if I did, it would be none of your concern, Park!”
You didn’t know what it was about her that made you want to be just as free spirited and blunt. Maybe you were too friendly, keeping everything to yourself that your mind wanted to scream out - and Dia seemed like the exact opposite.
You figured as much when she stayed up half of the night, talking to you about the adventures she’d experienced and jobs she’d tried, never settling for one because one thing or the other prompted her to drop out. You liked silence - but with her, you didn’t mind staying awake, only realising around midnight that you hadn’t talked to anyone like this in ages.
The following night passed peacefully. Despite your tendency to sleep horribly in beds that you weren’t familiar with, you fell asleep with a smile and woke up with one, inhaling the wind that blew from outside as you opened the windows of your room.
And you stayed like this for a while, listening to the chirps of the birds and the call of the wild as you fixed your gaze to the peak of the mountain you’d reach in a few days. A knock at your door eventually pulled you out of your daydream, revealing the hyped forms of Jungkook and Jimin as they immediately ran past you and shook Dia awake.
“Fuck off!” she whined, words mumbled and barely understandable as she pulled the blanket over her face again. You watched the little scene unfold before you as you found your spot at the window again. You tried to feel sorry for Dia as they shook her further, trying to make her sit up - but the way they cooed at her, pinching her cheeks and making her laugh, flooded serotonin through you, too.
And soon, they were all singing a song you’d loved as a child, their bodies jumping on her bed and dancing the choreo that you’d so often moved to by yourself when nobody was looking.
When they pointed at you, you laughed; when they forgot the lyrics, you yelled out the correct line; and when they looked at you in shock, the little turtle coming out of her shell, they pulled you into the dance circle, urging you to show them the steps they didn’t know.
No matter how embarrassing all of this felt - especially with exactly those people you’d admired for their confidence years ago -, you had to admit that something about this harmless situation in your hotel room felt like a journey within itself.
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Jay had told you that the first day was supposed to help you navigate and get used to the place. In that sense, you were free to stroll around the small town the way down the road, buy souvenirs if you wanted to and try food you might not have gotten the chance to taste in the city you’d left behind.
As you ate the last bite of your dessert, sitting on a bench in front of a little church, you soon realised that the chaos surrounding you was being caused by a glorious wedding that occurred inside. And soon, you saw the bride and groom walk out, radiant smiles on their faces and arms lifting as they looked into each other’s eyes - almost as if nothing else existed around them.
Perhaps you would’ve been able to enjoy the scene more if Jungkook’s voice hadn’t broken through the silence you’d agreed on while eating, stating, “Poor couple. Both are going to jail.”
“Right?” Jimin agreed quietly, all four of you looking into the direction of the newly wed couple who flashed you a grin as they walked by. “Do you think I could go and convince her to spend a night with me instead?”
“Gross!” Dia exclaimed, hitting his shoulder with the magazine in her hand as she continued, “She just got married, for fuck’s sake. Stop being such a pervert.”
Jungkook laughed, patting her shoulder before he said, “But isn’t he right? Why would anyone want to get married? I’m telling you, these two will attack each other’s throats in less than a year - she’ll bitch about everything he does and he’ll give her less attention than she deserves. And then-”
“You know you’re generalising things, right? Not all marriages are like that,” Dia interrupted, certainly having none of the philosophies he held onto so tightly.
He only shrugged his shoulders, though, smacking his lips. “Mmh, maybe. I don’t know shit about real love. But I mean, look…”
Jumping from the bench, he pulled you up as well, beginning to walk towards the bus station as dusk broke in slowly. “It’s not just love, though. Imagine you do fall for someone - could you eat the same thing over and over again? Like… could you eat porridge every day?”
Jimin laughed, kicking away a stone as he nodded in agreement. Jungkook pointed a finger gun at his friend, eternally thankful for his support; but all you and Dia could do was sigh, tempted to end his speech but curious about his next statements anyway.
“And I feel,” Jungkook continued, a palm settling on his chest, “like I need pizza in my life. Lasagna, Chinese food, naan and chicken curry… schnitzel! Switch a little… internationally even, if you will.”
He winked at you then, and you soon realised that he might not have been talking about food only - especially considering the memory of him practically throwing himself at Youra in the train.
“So you just want to hop from one girl to another all your life?” you asked with raised eyebrows, shielding your eyes from the sun as you saw the bus station near.
“These two are disgusting like that,” Dia remarked, arms folding in front of her chest as she regarded the men with something that nearly looked like hurt.
Again, Jimin and Jungkook fell into laughter, happy and enthusiastic as ever as the younger man continued your conversation, “Or! You just marry multiple girls. But I won’t do that either since I really don’t want to settle for marriage.”
“Okay,” you challenged, “and if you want children?”
Now, his chuckle was accompanied by the rubbing of his hands, face coming dangerously close to yours as he whispered quietly enough for only you to hear, “Who needs marriage for that, baby? Let’s disappear behind the bus station and I’ll give you as many you wa-”
You pushed him away, face twisting in frustration before you sprinted the short way to the waiting bench. Something about you storming off like this - innocent movements of your hips and balled fists - made you more interesting than you already were. You didn’t fall for his cheap pick up lines; didn’t let his stupid attitude sway you off your feet.
And somehow, Jungkook kind of adored that about you.
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They say time always passes by fast when you’re enjoying yourself - and they were damn right about it. Suddenly, you found yourself on the hiking trail, having been split into two teams which Jimin and Jungkook’s overzealous selves had become captains for - both claiming they were eager to bring their group to the camping site first.
It was safe to say that both of them had volunteered to gather the pretty girls in their teams, mind focused on flirting instead of winning. And speaking of - in some sense, Jungkook’s distraction seemed ideal to you, his gaze being fixed on Youra allowing you to easily tackle the challenge of reaching the destination first.
Jay had clearly told you that the defeated team would cook dinner and pitch the tents tonight. Jungkook didn’t seem to care; something that spurred you on to win even further, somehow glad that you’d landed in Jimin’s team.
From afar, you saw Jungkook blow onto a wound Youra had apparently suffered, her head thrown back with a pout to soak in the sun as she acted as if she was in immense pain. Jungkook stared at her with a smug fuckboy smile, trying his hardest to get into her pants while everyone around him strutted forward to a win he wouldn’t get.
But then, you suddenly watched her crane her neck into your direction for a split moment before she turned back to him. It seemed like she’d told him something she’d wanted to share, because now, both of them were staring at you, causing your eyes to open wide before you increased your speed.
You were definitely a good piece ahead of him - but stepping onto a free field, the flag of the campsite waving in the distance, you wondered how he’d suddenly managed to catch up this soon. Some members of Jimin’s as well as of Jungkook’s team were hot on your trail, but while your energy barely faltered, Jungkook was already panting next to you.
“Hey, can you just hold for a moment?” he asked, the stretched hand attempting to grip your shoulder but failing to do so.
“No.”
“Come on, please. You were already the best at every exam, can’t you grant me this one victory?”
You pressed your lips together, looking at him for a second before you repeated, “No. Because apparently you’re not here to climb the mountain but girls.”
He laughed shakily, breathing stagnating as he informed you, “That’s called flirting. You should try that, too! It’s good for your health.”
“Is it now?” you mocked, head shaking at his attempts to stop you in your tracks.
Your eyes were fixed on the greenery in front of you, breathing in through the nose and breathing out through the mouth. Everything indicated that you were the better hiker here, and you weren’t going to give in to whatever Jungkook was going to demand of you.
Or so you thought.
Because when he begged you to stop again, throwing in a please and come on, you turned around with a grunt, glaring at him as he gestured towards a rock for you to sit down. He kneeled in front of you, looking up at your disgruntled face with a bunny smile gracing his features.
“You’re right,” he admitted, steadying his breath as he pointed behind him with a thumb, “Youra is easy to convince and seems to like my cheap lines. Not the pickiest. But it’s not like I can flirt with girls like you, right?”
The sting in your heart hurt just a bit more than you wanted to, expression falling as you asked, “Girls like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
You were ready to hear him confirm your biggest fears: that you were still the boring, studious, little girl from high school he’d somewhat known, blocking all fun and adventure for more than two decades.
But instead, his eyes turned a little dreamy, moving from your eyes to your lips and back. You were serving as his shadow, but even without the bright sunlight, you could see his pupils sparkle.
“I just mean…” He silenced for a second, taking in your pretty face, your moles, your skin, the crease between your eyebrows. “You’re not a casual flirt but for eternity... and so much harder to figure out.”
And then, he leaned closer, your heart already beating at a record breaking speed as you gulped visibly. He raised an eyebrow, clicking his tongue once as he added, “And love, eternity? Isn’t good for my health.”
With that, he patted your knees gently before standing, starting to move towards the flag. You registered too late that you were supposed to defeat him, your mind still whirring and repeating his words before you got to your feet abruptly.
It was a failed attempt if you’d ever seen one: because as soon as you took one step forward, you fell to your knees again, the laces of your boots intertwined by his hands god knew when. You let out an annoyed cry, ripping off some grass under your palms as you yelled at his distancing figure, “I will tell Jay about this, Jungkook!”
He turned around, tongue darting out to lick his lips, blond hair flying in the wind wildly as he shouted back, “This isn’t school, Y/N! Deal with the loss.”
Doe eyes had tricked you into drifting off, and now, your mind already began cooking up ideas on how to tackle the problem of pitching up a tent.
Great.
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It turned out that helping with the tents wasn’t the worst thing you’d experience that day. While instructions on this task were clear and allowed you to shift your attention to dinner faster than you’d thought, distributing food was absolute hell.
You’d been proud of the idea of providing the group with instant rice and veggies, thinking this might help them gain their energy back, but you’d forgotten that everyone here was trying to escape daily life. Because trips were there to enjoy yourself, they said; to eat unhealthy food and shove instant noodles down your throat - not something as basic as rice and some carrots.
You stared down at your pot, still filled to the brim while everything your other team members had come up with was already out and had already been eaten. Even if it was something as simple as ham and cheese sandwiches.
“I even seasoned it,” you told Dia as she stood beside you, eating her own portion while waiting for someone to ask for a second serving. “Is rice that bad?”
“Ah, don’t worry about it, honey,” she assured and leaned forward to shovel a gracious amount of your cooking onto her paper plate. “They’re entitled. If they knew how it is to starve, they’d attack you like hungry lions.”
You scrunched your nose, offended and sad before you smiled at the way Dia’s eyes widened at the taste of your food. She hummed in satisfaction, nodding with one thumb up. You tried one last time: with your fingers carrying the pot carefully, you went through the group in a circle, offering and hoping someone would finish what you’d so proudly cooked.
And no one did - except the exact same person who’d complained about boring meals just a day ago. Pausing his conversation with Youra, he looked into your pot fascinated, letting out an “Ohhhh” as if he’d never seen a meal this alluring. You were even more surprised when he emptied half of the pot, either eager to make you feel better or actually still hungrier than everyone around you combined.
“I’m happy we’re not in the hotel room anymore,” he then exclaimed loud enough for the whole campsite to hear. “The howling of the owls or whatever might actually overshadow Jimin’s snoring today.”
“Hey! I do not snore.”
Jimin was a sight to see. Wrapped in a blanket with tea in his hand, he might’ve looked sweet and childlike, but the fact that he was cuddled in the softness with one of Youra’s friends, changed the situation entirely.
But the words they exchanged weren’t the only reason for this shift in the atmosphere. Because when you went to your table again, eyes settling on Dia carefully, you noticed the furrowed eyebrows, unsteady breathing and disgusted gaze she was throwing at him. The pain in her stare was palpable enough for you to realise what it meant - and you hated that no one else seemed to understand, least of all Jimin.
“So what if I can’t sleep because you keep snoring tonight?” the girl asked him, head tilting and eyelashes batting in faux innocence.
“I mean, why don’t we test that tonight?” he suggested, pulling her a little closer to him. “Come visit me and tell me if I did in the morning.”
And with that, you looked at Dia again, making her snap out of her trance as her forlorn eyes met your worried ones. She gave you a soft, small smile that couldn’t even have deceived you if you hadn’t observed what had gone down just now. Throwing the napkin from her hand onto the table, she stepped away from the public eye and began the small walk to your tent.
You didn’t know what love felt like. The little flings and relationships you’d ever had were nothing that ever came close to this feeling - but you still understood that she needed you. A hand to hold, someone to silently show her everything would be okay.
With that in mind, you entered the tent and put your arms around her; and she let you hold her. For seemingly endless minutes, you sat on the sleeping bag, letting her cry and her feelings flow freely as you kept praying to whatever deity that she'd find peace in love at least some day.
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Your focus broke when you heard steps outside your tent, very close to where you were sitting late at night. Instinctively, you brought your flashlight up to blind the lurking creature, only to see once again that it was always Jungkook you crossed ways with.
He cursed under his breath, leather jacket sitting firmly around his shoulder as he stepped closer. “What the fuck? Y/N, didn’t you know one should never seek danger like that? What are you even doi-”
His eyes wandered to your lap in disbelief, and you averted his gaze to avoid seeing the way he scoffed at you with a shaking head. “Seriously? You’re… reading. What, studying?”
Your tongue played with the inside of your cheek as he hovered above you. He leaned down to grab the heavy book from you, eliciting a gasp out of you as he read a few of the medical terms you’d highlighted. And when you stood and pleaded to give it back, he raised an eyebrow, hiding the book behind his back.
“I came here to grab something and I’m going back to the little bonfire over there,” he told you, pointing to a spot that you could see glow from the distance, “come with me.”
You bit your lip, unsure what to answer before you shook your head. “No. You go ahead. It’s not for me.”
“What do you mean it’s not for you? We’re just having fun there, Y/N.”
“I’m not interested.”
He observed your expressions for a moment, seeing your pupils shake at your words before he understood and stated, “You’re lying. You’re dying to go to the bonfire, aren’t you?”
You said nothing as you licked your lips, looking away in annoyance and shrugging your shoulders with folded arms.
“What’s the problem then?” he asked, trying to meet your eyes carefully, “Come and make some friends, you-”
He took your hand to drag you to the party with him, but you refused instantly, pulling him back. Insecurity bubbled in your stomach as you remembered the years when you’d been younger, all the negativity rushing back as you complained, “I can’t do these things! Bunny, you don’t remember how I was in school. You were the one going around, making fun of teachers and finding new friends every day. Everyone was head over heels for your tiny group - it’s easy for you.”
Jungkook silenced for a moment, looking at you with something that resembled empathy as he waited for you to continue. And you did, because you were surely not done yet.
“I always sat in a damn corner and read a book, because no one cared to talk to me. They’d call me four-eyes as if it was a sin to wear glasses,” you confessed. Feelings that had come to the surface since the train ride and tonight’s dinner now sat on your tongue, and suddenly, you didn’t feel scared to speak them anymore.
You felt tears brim in your eyes when he squeezed your hand, making your voice just a little calmer as you said, “I’m just… not the cool, chill girl like you’re used to. I’m not all that.”
For some reason unknown to you, Jungkook smirked at your words as his free hand brushed through his light hair. He stepped a little closer, looked deeply into your eyes as he shook his head with a smack of his lips.
Then, he asked, “Who told you you’re not cool?”
You didn’t answer, only watched his soft eyes melt and gleam imminently even without much light. When you said nothing, he added, “Y/N, you always passed with the highest grades. Came here on a trip with over twenty strangers despite saying you can’t make friends. Do you know that something like that needs some serious guts?”
He scoffed, holding your hand tightly as he laced his words in genuinity. And you could only stare and listen. “You know the lyrics to every song. If I wasn’t a cheater, you could defeat me in every race to any flag or destination. You’re like the main character of a story, Y/N. What’s cooler than that?”
As your breathing stagnated, your view became blurry, too. You didn’t ever think it would be Jungkook who’d stand right in front of you, assuring you of things that no one had ever managed to do - not even your parents. The tone of his voice and calmness in his words soothed something in you and you didn’t want the peace to vanish just yet.
And as if he’d read your mind, he continued, “Stop dwelling on bad things and start loving yourself instead. You’re amazing the way you are.” He tucked your hair behind your ears, winking at you before he laughed and added, “But! There’s one thing I don’t like about you.”
You raised your eyebrows, mind already racing as you thought back to what you might have done wrong the last few days. “Huh?”
“You seriously don’t smile enough,” he told you, chuckling and slowly but eventually making your lips twitch upward too. “See! Telling you, if I had a heart, I would’ve long fallen for this smile. It’s fucking dangerous.”
You laughed when he did, finally giving in to his pleas to accompany him. You let him drag you to the bonfire; let him place you right next to him, attention gifted to only you tonight instead of Youra or anyone else.
Something about the cold of the night, the fresh wind, his palm on the back of your hand and him feeding you marshmallows felt like an entirely new life. You don’t think you’d ever laughed as much as you had tonight and the following days, about everything and anything.
Soon, your hiking feet met snow, a beautiful, untouched white of nature that you admired with each step you took. Jungkook would always eat your food without fail; tell you jokes, behave like a friend, tease you about the littlest things. The snowball fights flooded more serotonin through your body than any good grade ever had, making you roll around before landing right next to him and forming angels on the ground.
With each second that passed, you wondered how anything before this trip had been real. How life had been a vast nothing; a distant illusion that you were reluctant to go back to as soon as all of this was over.
But when you reached your goal, the peak of the mountain hill you were climbing, you questioned if it was your old life that had been the dream you’d dreamed or everything that was happening now.
“Come here!” he called you as he posed for a picture, one arm wrapped around Dia’s shoulder and one around you as you approached. “Look into the camera.”
Dia was glowing, incredibly happy that you and her had been the first one to touch the flag, finally winning the whole game fairly. But for you, the victory meant nearly nothing; for you, the camera didn’t capture a moment of win or loss, but a friendship that had bloomed between you and the three people who were screaming around you from the top of their lungs.
And if all of this experience was indeed a dream, you chose to stay just a little longer.
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“Okay!”
Jay’s voice silenced the pleasant chatter as the last hikers arrived. He rubbed his hands, always wearing the same, friendly smile on his face as he said, “Last night approaching before we start hiking down again. Now you’ve seen the peak, the end of the trail and discovered your own limits! So for the rest of the evening, you may relax and do whatever you want.”
A cheer chimed through the crowd and faded into the wide fields of snow, your own heart jumping at the idea of walking down with your friends again. But the conversation wasn’t done yet - because when the laughter and applause died down, an unexpected question arised for Jay.
“Hey, what’s up there?” Jungkook asked, leaning against a tree as he pointed to another red flag on the peak of a smaller hill.
Everyone’s gazes turned to said spot before they shifted their attention back to your leader. Something about his body language seemed off the moment everyone tilted their heads in question, waiting for him to explain expectantly.
“Um, the place you’re pointing at is called the Haunted Summit.”
“Let’s go there then, can we?” Jungkook suggested, fingers playing with the digital camera in his hands, “I bet the view is amazing.”
Jay blew air through the nose before he looked down, teeth worrying his lips. He shuffled some snow with his feet and waited for a moment; then, he lifted his head again, intertwining the fingers of his hands.
“It’s called haunted for a reason. Does anyone know the story of that place?”
A collective murmur went through the group, shakes of heads urging Jay to continue, “Well, according to legends, there used to be a little place of worship. Something like a temple of some sorts. It’s said that a man devoted his life to the gods and goddesses, walking up there every single morning without fail. But then…”
He paused - probably for dramatic effects, you thought - before he took a deep breath and said, “Then he decided to stay there permanently. To pray all day and night, surviving without food or proper clothing before people ultimately found him dead up there.”
You heard someone gasp loudly, making everyone flinch except Jungkook who merely remarked, “Well, of course he’d die. Nutrition, sleep and warmth are essential.”
“You’re right, but that’s not all there is,” Jay then said, a finger wiggling in Jungkook’s direction, “apparently, this man had a daughter whose face was scarred beyond repair, and she wouldn’t find a groom, no matter how hard she tried. And in that sense, her father prayed for her to recover, find a man and settle down with a family. Now, legends say that a few days after they found his body, his daughter woke up with clean skin - and suddenly, everyone started turning their heads in her direction. She got married not long after.”
“People were so superficial back then,” Dia complained, shifting from one leg to another as she side-eyed Jimin in judgement, “some still are.”
You noticed the gaze she threw at him immediately, apparently the only one feeling the tension - but before she could say anything more, you chimed in and inquired, “Okay, but that doesn’t explain why we can’t go up there, though?”
Quiet agreement followed your words, but Jay was quick to provide an explanation. “It’s said that the ghost of the man still lingers there. Like a wandering soul who forbids strangers to pray where he did. His wish is supposed to be unique and all, and while many have tried to go up there and pray for their own happiness, they apparently haven’t ever returned. Hence, the Haunted Summit.”
And then, everyone went quiet, heavy breathing clearly audible and the atmosphere changing within seconds. A little proud smirk crept up Jay’s face, eyebrows raising as he popped the question that silenced everyone around you further.
“And? Still wanna go?”
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The mountains were different at night. Without a party, bonfire or the usual tumult, the forest seemed scary and the shadow of the peak daunting. And while courage still flooded adrenaline through your body, you were sure that you would’ve returned to your tent if animals of the night hadn’t demolished the silence that usually lingered over Ringrey Rise at late hours.
As you took quiet steps through the snow, eagle eyes trying to detect any movement, the snapping of a branch under your feet grasped your attention. Which would’ve probably scared you for only a moment before you’d moved on - but the second gasp that you heard only a few inches away was surely one of another presence, one that had you turn your head around in fear.
But when the voice broke through the night, whispers calling your name, you exhaled deeply, questioning how you hadn’t already anticipated that Jungkook would be a fellow reckless soul as well. Apparently, he’d had the same idea as you, because when he came into sight, he was carrying his rucksack - an obvious hint for not a mere walk around the tents but a bigger, more significant adventure.
“Aren’t you scared of ghosts?” he asked quietly, his face barely visible until he stepped into the ray of the flashlight. “I didn’t think you’d be this brave!”
You clicked your tongue, turning away from him as you told him, “There’s no such thing as ghosts, Jungkook. I’m fine. You’re the one trembling.”
You were only teasing him, of course - but he seemed to run past your sarcasm anyway, catching up to you with a shake of his head. “I’m not scared of anything. Even if there are ghosts, I will fight them with my own fists.”
“What if they’re transparent?”
“Then,” he said, jogging every now and then to keep up with your fast steps, “I’ll beg for them to let you go and keep me instead. Need to make sacrifices for gorgeous girls like you.”
You scrunched your nose in disgust, shoving him lightly as you distanced yourselves from the camp further and further. “Gross. I’m not Youra, Bunny.”
“Nah, you’re right. I don’t care about her, but I care about you.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
But despite your curses, you laughed, the banter going on for the rest of the hike until you found yourself under a canopy of trees, darkness advancing further. Jungkook was always a step behind, growing tired and gulping down his water every now and then while your energy remained steadfast, steps trodding forward with confidence.
At first, you waited for him to speak, wondering if he’d give up and ask you to rest for just a little while. But he never did, showing you a thumbs up whenever you halted to wait for him to catch up, fists on your hips and head tilted in amusement.
Jungkook might’ve acted tough on other occasions, but hiking surely wasn’t his type of sport. And at some point, you had enough, growing sick of his neverending panting behind you as you offered, “Let’s take a break.”
“I’m fine, Y/N… I… swear!” He was really trying to convince you with a hand on his chest, sweat glistening lightly on his temples as he nodded towards the general direction of the haunted spot.
When he tried to move again, you held him back with a hand on his bicep, grimacing before you said, “No, it’s me. I’m tired, I really need a break.”
“Oh,” he made, head moving to scrutinise his surroundings before he pointed at a flat, big trunk of a tree. “We’ll take one for you then.”
You nodded eagerly as both of you took a seat side by side, his body immediately falling forward and head hanging low as he caught his breath. Something about him was endearing - the way his lips pouted, blond hair falling around his face and eyes blinking slowly. For a moment, you let him breathe, waited for him to talk or suggest to keep going.
But instead of speaking, he sat up straight, a hand disappearing under his thin jacket before he suddenly pulled out a glowing flask. You let out a surprised gasp, a laugh following when you saw him drink and twist his face slightly. He turned to you, bringing the flask to your lips as he asked, “Want some? Good for the soul.”
You blew air through the nose, contemplating on declining the invite to his drinking party for a second before you snatched the alcohol from him. You took two sips only, but the liquid burned down your throat with an overwhelming intensity - one that you responded to with a semi-loud, “Woah!”
Jungkook sported the bunny smile you’d grown fond of the last few days, nodding with you and praising you for stepping out of your comfort zone. “Attagirl!”
“How gross is that shit,” you told him, throwing your head back and inhaling the crisp air of the chilly night. “Don’t tell anyone that I drank.”
You were joking, of course, but Jungkook scoffed anyway, nudging your sides with his elbow. “Why? To keep your good girl image? I bet you’re a beast behind that innocent smile.”
“Excuse me,” you answered, batting your eyelashes accompanied by a childlike pout, “I can’t even spell b-e-a-s-”
“Shut up.” The laughter never ended, every drop of the whiskey seeping through you and loosening any remaining awkwardness between him and you. After a while, he admitted, “I drink on every trip. Kinda gives me an additional kick when I’m trying to enjoy stuff.”
“You know you can enjoy travels without alcohol, too.”
He mumbled something you couldn’t understand, and you only responded with a smile before you asked, “You travel a lot, don’t you?”
“Not as much as I’d like. But I really want to someday,” he answered with a nod, hands closing the flask and beginning to fiddle with the content in his bag instead, “I’ll show you something.”
You watched his movements intently, blinking in question when a big book came into view. It had the Eiffel Tower on its cover, some quotes in French and other languages scattered across the page. You leaned closer, asking what that was before he started to explain, “My very own travel book. Here…”
He opened a random page, a printed picture of pyramids at the top with a small bucket list underneath. Placing half of the book on his and the other half on your knee, he flipped through a few pages, explaining, “It’s sort of a list I made for myself. Places I want to see and countries I want to travel to. I want to take pictures of the sights but also of all the dirty alleys and spots they don’t show in travel brochures. You know. See life outside my house.”
As he showed you the pictures, you realised that Jungkook was a bigger dreamer than you’d ever expected him to be. He had his head in the clouds, wanting things you’d never really given a proper thought to - always satisfied with living a boring life in your boring house.
But Jungkook wanted more than just to accept a mundane routine. For him, life was an opportunity, days he wanted to seize before he was too old to live by the carpe diem agenda anymore. But still, you wondered.
“You know that seeing all these places will take you decades, right?” you asked, turning back a page to take in the beauty of Japanese temples.
He, however, only shrugged. “So what?”
“I just mean,” you started, licking your lips and drifting closer just a bit, “are you serious when you say you never want to settle down? You could do all these things with a partner, too.”
You weren’t any less of a dreamer, though. While his thoughts floated somewhere in the sky, wanting nothing more than freedom and restlessness, your mind was on the ground, wishing for peace in your own home with someone you could rely on day and night.
Different dreams - but dreams nonetheless.
“These are things you might not understand, Y/N,” he said quietly, sighing into the forest air before he continued, “Settling down feels like a stop. Like I’m halting and refusing to move.” He laughed a little, shaking his head as he added, “I didn’t even ever tell Dia or Jimin about this. Why you?”
You shrugged slowly and he silenced for a second, thinking about his next words and how to phrase them. His mouth always fell open when he was thinking, eyes drifting away and staring at a random spot instead.
And then, he explained, “Your young years are here for reckless shit. Life is crazy and you never know when it’ll stop, you know? I just want to enjoy whatever’s left of my days to the fullest. I want to fly… to run… run too fast and fall and get hurt but stand up again. I don’t want to stop… you know?”
And although you lived your life differently, his words made sense - hit a spot somewhere deep within you that you’d never known until now. But right in this moment, it bloomed to its full form, intense and vibrant and so, so freeing.
Maybe he was right. Even if you were to get married someday and seek a quiet life, it didn’t mean you couldn’t fly, run, fall and stand up. You didn’t have to stop.
You wanted to say something - anything. He had smiled at you and indulged in his book again - but you were just staring again, nothing in your view as much in focus as Jungkook.
It was only until you heard branches crack and leaves rustle that you snapped out of your daze, flinching at the same time Jungkook did as your eyes looked for something in the darkness that didn’t belong here.
“These are the ghosts,” he joked, trying to find the source of the disturbance as he felt you lean closer, almost burying your face in his shoulder. “I thought you didn't believe in them.”
“No, but,” you whispered, every word growing quieter, “what if it’s something else?”
And something else it was.
When the little doe walked out of the thicket and stared at you with gentle eyes, your breathing calmed down, chest heaving and hands you didn’t know had settled around Jungkook’s arm loosening. As fast as the doe had come, it had run away again, thin legs carrying it away from you as both of you smiled into the direction of the moonlight.
“It had the same gaze as you do,” you mumbled quietly, your smile never fading as you looked into his very own doe eyes.
“You know…” He gulped, lips pressing together and giving way to the little mole under his mouth. “I was going to say the exact same thing. The same glitter in its pupils as in yours.”
Intoxication. Not from the alcohol but from him.
This is what you felt as he stared at you, eyes flashing from one spot on your face to another. Jungkook was intoxicating in every sense and every adventure with him was new, igniting new fires inside you in the cold of the mountain so late at night.
And in return, you gave him a feeling of home, warm and cozy and breathtakingly beautiful. In your presence, he almost thought he wanted things he’d never craved before. Your enthusiasm and determination were always so strong that he felt drawn to not just your appearance but to you in your whole entirety.
“Hey, Y/N.”
You raised your eyebrows in question, registering his movement before you looked down to his open palm. With another sweet smile, you let his warmth engulf your hand, standing to let him lead you wherever he was going, eager to see the world from his eyes.
There were no ghosts tonight. Only you and Jungkook walking up the mountain hand in hand for hours, barely getting tired anymore as dawn suddenly broke in and you found yourself with the red flag waving in front of you.
There, he released your palm, flashing you a grin before he placed his hands around his mouth and shouted into the world. You watched the clouds float by, the smooth snow on the lands lie below you, steep hills and the sun shining onto your hair.
The world was vast, wide, endless nature stretching for miles and his voice echoing and fading into nothing. No words, no names, nothing - just senseless vocals and consonants tiring his lungs and voice with the biggest smile you’d ever seen; and soon, you joined in the incoherent yelling.
You were acting like there was no tomorrow, reckless idiots at a cliff - but for you, this scene meant more than just being young and stupid. Because as happiness flooded your body in giant waves, your heart was yelling, too - but it was only his name.
Jungkook. Jungkook. And Jungkook again.
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The hike down had been easier than the climb up to the top.
Now that the main part of the trip was done, you noticed the ache in your legs, wanting nothing more than to relax in your hotel and sleep for two days straight. But the excitement that still flooded you kept you from doing anything like that; and in that sense, you were curious as to what the schedule mentioned for the last day.
And when you peeked at it again, you remembered the event, the hotel room suddenly seeming like an ideal alternative tonight. With the book you’d brought, a pool party seemed redundant, all the alcohol and kissing bodies already too much for you to bear as you walked around the resort with idle steps.
It wasn’t until you found your three friends and grew too sensitive to the sound that you gave in, sniffing at the shots Dia handed you before downing them in one go. You weren’t one to drink very often, the bitter taste burning in your throat and lungs too intense for you. But tonight, you figured you had to let go, because what had Jungkook said again?
Your young years are here for reckless shit.
And you had to admit: after three or four drinks, you didn’t feel the discomfort too prominently anymore. Your head started to spin sooner than you’d expected, cheers erupting from your lungs and the sound of splashing water so pleasant that you forgot the bad music for a moment and dipped head first into the pool instead.
“Y/N,” you heard Jungkook’s voice call after a while, golden torso dipped in the blue light of the pool floor and water dripping from his light, swept-back hair. You let out a sigh at the sight, taking in the beautiful body with the even more beautiful face, worries written all over his features. “Don’t drink too much, please. Just don’t listen to these dorks anyway.”
The two dorks were throwing each other around in the water behind him, coming to the surface breathlessly before repeating everything again. You were somewhat glad that Jimin was giving Dia the attention she so much desired, but on the other hand, you wished he wouldn’t get her hopes up, only to do something reckless again.
“Bunny, baby,” you said, the man in front of you flinching at the sweet name you’d chosen before you stepped closer, swaying dangerously. “Don’t worry about me tonight. I’ll be fine.”
Despite the sentiment you two had shared in the night in the forest, you’d grown cautious, the feelings that advanced for him with each moment scaring the hell out of you. While you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand again, you tried to back away, considering all the freedom he valued and all the girls that ghosted around him...
And as if on cue, Youra appeared at his side, hooking her arm in his as her curves danced to the music and tits bounced with her movements. You rolled your eyes, stepping away a little; too hazy to notice that Jungkook’s stare didn’t leave you for a moment, even when Youra urged him to follow her wherever she was going to lead him.
“See, you’re busy anyway, mister Jeon.”
“No, wait-” he exclaimed, reaching out for your arm, but you were already swimming away, your drunk self a little less sick of this girl but somewhat annoyed nevertheless.
Where you were standing, the water only reached your breasts, and in order to clear your head, you let your body sink into the cold water as long as your breath allowed. The moment every noise vanished, you felt somewhat at peace; nothing could disrupt it as your body floated under water - not even the few bumps of fellow drunk travellers who tried to get past you blindly.
And when you resurfaced, Jungkook was gone, dancing with Youra somewhere at the other end of the pool as she grinded into him with her back pressed against his chest. The view was painful in some way - the sting in your heart made you realise that sooner than you’d liked.
But something in Jungkook’s eyes - the lifelessness, the boredom, the carelessness - and his ghost touch on her arms told you that he was enjoying this just as much - or less - as you.
Something about the way his gaze stuttered and landed on you for a moment, gave you satisfaction that you couldn’t explain at the moment. But it was enough for you to smirk at him, turn your back and step out of the pool elegantly, hand grabbing your shirt from your folding chair and hips sashaying from left to right and back in a way your drunk self was sure he must’ve been fond of.
You didn’t stop walking until the music quieted down, approaching the fountain that stood right in front of the hotel building, its water glowing in a soft purple light. The edges were wide enough for you to lay your body onto the cold marble, goosebumps covering your skin in an instant as you closed your eyes for a few minutes.
First, you needed the world to stop spinning. And when it did, your eyelids opened slowly, the sky still a little blurry before the stars became clearer, twinkling and fading alternatively but never losing their beauty. You were sure minutes had turned into an hour - your intoxicated state was already drifting off.
You let out a deep exhale, taking in the vast cloudless nothing above you until you smiled when a thought crossed your mind. The sparkle looked like his eyes - big, dark eyes glittering, full of joy, life and care. Despite every stupid thing he ever said, it felt like Jungkook was the night sky that you were gazing at - becoming prettier and more refreshing with each time you thought about it in depth.
You were sure you would’ve found more similarities between the universe and him; affection rooted so deep inside you that every cheesy line seemed to infiltrate your brain as soon as it wandered to his existence. But instead of basking in the serenity, his voice disrupted your peace, a loud and clear call of your name making you shriek and fall into the low fountain sideways.
Drowning felt different from floating in the pool water, and when you broke the surface with squinted eyes and uncontrolled coughs, you heard his gentle voice chuckle.
“I’m sorry,” he said through the laughter, hands gripping yours as you opened your eyes slowly. Your oversized shirt stuck to your skin uncomfortably and you shook your head as you stepped out with his help, desperately trying to throw the wet hair out of your face.
“Wait, let me,” you heard him say, his fingers brushing through your hair and combing it back; the rest that wouldn’t oblige, neatly being tucked behind your ears. “Sorry. Are you okay?”
Now that the shock of temporarily getting knocked out of breath was ebbing down, you found yourself giggling with him, the giddiness of the alcohol still slightly lingering as you came closer to him. He raised an eyebrow when your lips were only inches away, your stare piercing through him until he asked, “What?”
You bit your lip and his eyes followed your movement, a finger coming to point at his face. “Your eyes really do look like the sky with its stars.”
And with that, Jungkook laughed again, pupils proving what you’d just said to be true and small dimples appearing on his cheeks. “You’re drunk,” he declared, taking your hand in his before he began to move.
“So are you.”
“I am. But not as much as you.”
“I’m not that drunk either. I’m sobering up.” You smirked at his back, damp hair strands falling over his head as he pulled you into the hotel. Blinking at him, you let your feet carry you wherever he was taking you - and yet, you felt the need to ask, “Where are we going?”
“To my room,” he answered, looking back at you with a smile, “Jimin isn’t there yet. Says he might not come back tonight. And I need you to sober up a little more.”
You couldn’t say that Jungkook was entirely in his right mind - even his steps became irregular sometimes, shoulder once bumping into the wall as he directed you to his room. But his speech was coherent, so you guessed he was able enough to take care of you just for tonight.
A few moments later, you were sitting at the edge of his bed, starting to feel strange but not letting your stomach irritate you too much. Jungkook had vanished into the bathroom, water running and other sounds occurring that you couldn’t assign to a specific object.
He came out with a big, fresh towel, his still half naked form stepping in front of you as he ordered, “Take off your shirt.”
You covered your chest with your arms, shifting backwards on the bed as he eyed your dramatic state with a roll of his eyes. He shook his head in annoyance, leaning down to you as he said, “You’ll freeze in this. Take your shirt off and wrap the towel around you. Or the blanket, whichever you prefer.”
His other hand carried a glass of water and a few crackers, and he placed them on the bedside table before he said, “And eat that.”
You were hungry anyway - so it was easy to oblige. You ate however much you could handle, gulping down the water before asking for more twice. While he gave in to your request, you did as he’d told you, towel covering your torso and shirt thrown on the floor next to the bed.
You didn’t know how you’d landed here. Just yesterday you’d been talking about ghost stories and travel plans - and now, suddenly, you were on his bed, watching him sit down in front of you with your skin largely visible.
“How do you feel?” you asked him as he laid down on the bed horizontally, limbs stretching and abs hardening. It was hard not to look at the hotness he emanated, but you tried to be as respectful as you could nevertheless.
“How do you feel?”
“I’m okay. A little better,” you said, shrugging, still a bit too drunk to trust yourself with anything, but at least the loud thumping of the music had stopped in your brain.
He hummed, a hand coming up to settle behind his head - and again, his bicep flexed in the most enticing way, your insides turning as you felt yourself grow needier in his presence. You wondered how he’d react if you leaned down right now and kissed him, trailing down his body with your fingertips until he told you he wanted more.
But you snapped out of your fantasy fast, swallowing the knot in your throat as you asked, “So what happens after this trip?”
His body stiffened a little - almost as if he’d remembered something. In his mind, an answer floated obviously, and for a moment, he contemplated whether this was the time to tell you what would happen when all of this was over. But in this moment, with your lips turned upwards and head resting on your bent knee, he couldn’t bring himself to spill his secret.
Not yet.
“Living life as it comes,” he told you instead, drawing invisible forms in the air with a squinted eye, trying hard to not look at you for too long. You were blinding him too much.
You stayed silent for a moment - and at some point, he thought you’d fallen asleep sitting up. But then, you sighed, legs stretching and settling on his, both your limbs forming a cross as you admitted, “You know… I wish I could live like you.”
“Hm?” he made, head turning to you and heart falling when he noticed the little pout in your face.
“I just… want to… not think about medical terms for once? Keep the books away, go out, drink, meet people… do what I’m doing right now as often as I want,” you rambled, voice growing quieter and head becoming clearer as time passed. “You walk around without any care and do whatever you want to do. And you’re happy. I want to be just that, too.”
“Do you feel caged?” he then asked, sitting up slowly and pulling you closer by your legs. You tried to concentrate on your breathing and your words - not on the way he lifted your chin with his finger, looking at you with so much softness and care that for a second, you believed he felt the same way you did.
He brushed your hair from your face again, his mouth far enough from you but seemingly inviting you closer with every passing second. You nodded, the same constriction filling your chest that always overcame you when you thought of the years that were still to come; full of studies, exams and exhaustion.
“Youth is crazy,” you whispered, smacking your lips, “I want to be crazy as long as I’m young. And not married.”
“And you can be,” he assured, nodding a little, eyes fixed on the towel that was slowly falling off your right shoulder. “Life isn’t just about marriage.”
You laughed lightly, gaze shifting from his chest to his lips and then to the galaxy in his irises. “But on a side note, marriage really isn’t that bad of a thought.”
He slapped your knee gently, eyebrows raising as he argued, “But it is! Y/N, this whole thing is just a new form of being caged. You have responsibilities, rules, routines. And I just value freedom. I don’t know. I will never settle down like that.”
“But!” you exclaimed, more reasons floating in your brain to demolish his doubts about a married life. By now, your head felt clearer than it had all day, thoughts so transparent and sensible that you were ready to fight him. “But can you not imagine the joy of waking up next to someone you love every day?”
Your voice turned soft, sugary sweet and your eyes melted as you tried to break through to him. He noticed the tenderness in your words - understood the sentiment and dreaminess you were trying to pass on to him so strongly. “Imagine accomplishing little things. Buying a house. Painting its walls. Grocery shopping, flour attacks while baking, laughing about horrible movies… Sweet, little things.”
He hated to admit that with every example you brought to day, the images in his mind were of you instead of a random face: your smile when you’d pick up your favourite food in the market; your enthusiasm about baking cupcakes but finding that he only wanted to be silly; your scolding when he wouldn’t do something he was supposed to do ages ago.
Little things seemed big with someone you were this fond of, and suddenly, Jungkook started doubting himself. Maybe, he thought, he could promise someone an eternity. Maybe it was even in his blood to fall in love and find himself able to indulge in one person forever until his last breath.
Sweet, little things - maybe he wanted them after all.
And if you’d known about his thoughts, his lips on yours in the very next moment would’ve surely made more sense. You would’ve known that the hand that cradled your face and pulled you closer meant something, the slow motions of his mouth against yours becoming more than just temporary decisions of giving in to the tension that lingered between you.
You didn’t know a heart could flutter like this. Your chest constricted, stomach clenching, words dying in your throat and your mind as you let him kiss you tenderly. Perhaps Jungkook’s kisses were always this fervent, awakening the feeling of being cared for; you were jealous of everyone who had ever experienced it before.
And yet, you tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t just that and that he was actually losing himself in you the way you were drowning in him, consumed by his sounds, touches and breaths that had you yearn for more.
“Mmh,” he hummed against your lips, the hand from the small of your back wandering to your naked waist as he pushed you back, making you fall backwards.
His mouth flew over yours, lips brushing yours every time he tilted his head to the other side; still moving slowly, carefully. You felt like paradise - you exuded a glow bright enough that you blinded him, pulling him into a state of craze so effortlessly.
You moved your face sideways to catch your breath, shifting back on the mattress and luring him into you until your head hit the soft pillow. He hovered above you, eyes never leaving yours and chest heaving uncontrollably. His gaze looked a little wilder than before and harboured a hint of insatiability although he hadn’t even tasted you yet.
“Y/N,” his sultry voice called out, caging your legs between his and his face making its home in your neck, “don’t you ever dare doubt yourself.”
He brushed his nose against your sensitive skin slowly before he pressed chaste kisses against it, inhaling your flowery scent. It was just a gentle touch, but it made you arch your back and your nipples perk under the fabric of your swimsuit, fingers settling in his tresses to tug lightly.
“Look at you,” he continued, scraping his teeth against your flesh slightly, “sculpted by angels.”
The honest and alluring tone of his voice toyed with your control and emotions, making you pull at his hair harder and moan into his ear unintentionally. Your sound affected him instantly, mouth opening before he began suckling, eager to form colourful bruises on your neck.
His deft digits journeyed over your body teasingly, soon gripping your thighs tightly before he wrapped your leg around him, your other coming up reflexively as he lowered his body slightly. The firm abs only barely grazed your stomach, hard chest touching your tits and hand settling at the nape of your neck to untie your bikini straps.
“Oh fuck,” you exclaimed when you noticed where he was headed, grabbing his flexed bicep intuitively before he lifted his head from your neck to look at you in wonder.
“Is that okay?” he asked, despite the heated make out session and feverish touches a gentleman who wanted your consent. “I know we’re drunk and all, so…”
You chuckled at his words, exhaling a sigh as you ran your hand over the muscles of his back. “I’ve sobered up enough to know that I’m not too drunk to make sound decisions.”
“Absolutely sure?” he whispered, your noses touching. You pulled him closer into you, one hand pulling down the bra as you nodded with certainty.
His eyes widened as they met your mounds, heartbeat quickening as scenarios and ideas of what he wanted to do to you raced through his mind. As his lips came down for another fiery kiss, he released the knot behind your back too, pulling the fabric from under his chest before he placed it next to the pillow without leaving the kiss.
Soon, staying in this position didn’t suffice for him anymore, voices screaming at him that he wanted you - wanted you now. With that thought filling his mind, he began kissing down your squirming body in enticing motions until he arrived at your tits, sucking on one at a time. You squinted your eyes shut tighter, groaning his name when he pinched the neglected nipple between his fingers.
Your lips grew dry from your excessive and fast breathing, legs opening wider to suggest for him to take the hint. But Jungkook was observant - he didn’t need a lot of your words or actions to understand what you wanted, lips trailing down further before his teeth pulled at your underwear.
Within a few moments, he’d stripped you fully, gawking at your nakedness and tempting body before he ran a hand over the skin that was still cold from the wetness of your swimsuit. He took you in with patience as two of his fingers ran along your folds, spreading them just lightly as he leaned his head down to your waiting heat.
Heart skipping several beats, you anticipated his next move, digging your fingers into the sheets of the bed and gasping when he placed an open mouthed, lewd kiss between your folds. His tongue darted out to taste your arousal, humming satisfied before he said, “You’re so sweet… absolutely perfect.”
And with that, he buried himself back in your cunt again, making out with it heavily as his hands extended the gap between your legs further and held them down. But before you could orgasm, much less near it at all, he detached his mouth from you suddenly, your whimper hardening his cock impossibly as he felt it twitch in his swim shorts.
“Don’t worry,” he reacted to your furrowed eyebrows, soothing your impatience with a brush of his hand against your cheek before he laid down next to you. Heat crept up your face at his gentle touch, his eyes holding so much care for you that you melted into the mattress, anticipating what he might do next.
He watched you shiver at the loss of contact and at the impact of the cold freshness of the night air flowing in through the open window. As he removed his shorts promptly, he barely gave you a chance to ogle at his big, growing length before he pulled you into his chest while pulling the blanket over your melding bodies.
One arm draped around your back, his hand settled on your left tit, the other coming down to palm your hungry pussy. His fingers prodded at your entrance, a delighted moan escaping him when he noticed how soaked you were, most likely ready to suck in not only his digits but his thick cock in one fell swoop as well.
“That’s how you feel for me?” he muttered, luminescent eyes taking in your side profile before he licked a stripe along your jaw. You moved your head to face him, capturing his lips in a luscious kiss as your body craved more, begging for him to take you any way he wanted to; you’d let him - you knew and he knew.
“Jungkook… please,” you lamented as you broke the kiss, hand wandering down his torso and stopping right before his cock, watching him rasp in surprise. “You feel that, don’t you?”
Your free hand cupped his over your overflowing pussy, your hushed voice adding, “That’s your effect on me… so please…”
And he didn’t need more than that, his insides burning and fondness flooding his heart when he realised that you really did want him that way, ready to give yourself to him. In a swift motion, he inserted two of his lingering digits into your hot, hungry walls, capturing you in yet another kiss as his tongue began to toy with yours.
Jungkook swallowed your mewls eagerly, exploring your mouth and savouring your taste. The sounds escaping you gained on volume the deeper he went, burying his fingers knuckles deep inside you as you took in shuddering breaths. Your mind went into a frenzy with the way he fucked his fore and middle finger into you, salacious grunts dripping out of his mouth as he relished the way your body begged for him.
“God, do you hear yourself, sweetheart?” he cooed before pulling at your lower lip with his teeth and then releasing it. You floated on cloud seven with the way he spoke the name, voice husky and fingers shoving you towards unbridled pleasure further. “Go on… whisper my name again.”
Ardent bodies pressing closer into each other, you called for him, carefully and hazily dropping your hand to his length. But this time, you didn’t leave it at his hiss, instead wrapping your palm around his heavy cock as curses tumbled off his tongue.
Your touch was cautious at first, like a curious doe exploring her surroundings for the first time. With your hand on him, you could vividly imagine what his member looked like, precum collected under your thumb as he muffled his sounds by pressing his lips against your chest.
“Oh shit,” he whispered, thrusting into your heat harder as retribution while he nibbled at the swell of your breasts tenderly. Squelching sounds filled the air, his fingers curling and spreading inside you to prepare you while his cock grew even harder than before; something you’d deemed impossible until now.
He reached a spot inside you that felt mind boggling, leaving you a whiny, demanding mess in his grip. You gave him the time he wanted with you, clearly enjoying all of this as much as you.
And when he finger-fucked you with last sharp thrusts and a roll of his thumb over your clit, you came with a blurred vision, moaning his name and pleas as he felt your walls pulsate around his digits delicately.
Jungkook truly couldn’t wait to feel just that around his cock, too. Then, he puffed out some air, head shaking against your skin as he said, “You’ll be the death of me… Y/N…”
“Jungkook…”
“Let me fuck you,” he pleaded, sweat soaken forehead touching your pert nipples, “please.”
He didn’t have to beg for you to consent. You were already eager and waiting for him, licking your lips as you repeated, “Please.”
Biting his lip, he looked at you, capturing your chin between his fingers as he took in your fucked out beauty in all its glory. “Shit… okay. Turn around then, baby,” he commanded, and you were quick to oblige, wobbly body settling on your stomach as you waited for him to do whatever he was intending to do.
He reached behind him, opening the bedside table he and Jimin shared before he brought a condom to view, ripping the package. “I knew Jimin would store some here.”
As he rolled the rubber down his length, his eyes darted to your pliant form, teeth worrying his lip as he took in the way your ass glared at him so deliciously, your arms raised above your head. His cock twitched in his palm, the thrill of having you under him so intense that he felt the reckless urge to rip off the condom again.
Instead, however, he remarked, “As much as I’d like to stuff you full of my cum, we need to be careful.”
“Agreed,” you chuckled, rubbing your hands against the cold material of the pillow case. But your laughter soon died in your throat when he suddenly grabbed your hip and pulled you onto your knees.
A surprised gasp escaped you as you felt him align himself with your entrance, cock sliding up and down your folds for a few times before he asked, “Ready, baby?”
“Yeah, Jungkook, please…”
“Let me know if you need a pause or want me to stop, okay?” he said caringly, hand soothingly patting your ass and making you wiggle your hips slightly.
But the movement made your ass cheeks shimmy as well, Jungkook’s mouth falling open in delight as he ordered, “Do that again.”
It took you a second before you understood what he meant, but when you followed his instruction, he kneaded your ass brazenly - finally done with waiting. He leaned down to free your back from your hair, kissing your shoulders sweetly and muttering lovely words as he sheathed his length inside your pussy slowly.
Jungkook was so big - so much to adjust to. Which was probably why he took his sweet time with you, closing his eyes in concentration to get used to your tight walls engulfing him. But still, he bottomed out to your and his surprise, his eyes staring down to where you connected.
“Fucking hell, you… really can take all of me…” he spoke through shaky breaths, moving his hands to your waist to hold you in place as he shifted behind you to find the right position. “Are you alright? Can I start?”
“Yes, Jungkook, what the heck are you… waiting for, god,” you exhaled, mind cascading into an abyss.
And then, he began earnestly, shoving his cock into you cautiously at first as he tried to feel every inch of you. His member always came out wet with your slick, his jaw clenching with the way you pressed your tits against the mattress and raised your ass further.
The view was astounding, erotic to an extent that he felt his sanity slip slowly; the distraction became so prominent that he didn’t even realise that he’d stopped moving already. But you had - and with a newfound confidence, you dragged your pussy over his cock impatiently, beginning to fuck yourself on it faster than he had been.
“Ah… shit, what the fuck,” he moaned, voice thick with lust and veins of his hands and arms popping as he dug his fingers into your waist. Especially the way you took him in balls deep, only to move back entirely and repeat the process stupefied him - you were obviously more than just the studious college girl he’d gotten to know.
“Y/N, you’re making me - oh, oh god, you’re… making me fucking lose my mind here,” he drawled, letting you continue to your heart’s content.
“Sorry…” you breathed, gripping the pillow tightly, “Couldn’t… wait anymore…”
Your voice was hoarse, fucked out and needy; reason enough for Jungkook to slam into you surprisingly, eliciting a near-scream out of you as he began fucking you roughly. A minute or two passed, his hips forgetting the concept of mercy before he suddenly pulled out, leaving you empty and longing.
He fell onto the mattress with a deep exhale, tapping your thighs as he uttered the next order of tonight, “Ride me, babygirl.”
You met him with a smile, straddling his body before you sunk down onto his throbbing, proud cock swiftly. Keeping your balance by holding onto his brawny body, you began riding him with the energy you had left, panting over him with your tits bouncing and hair swept to one side.
Your mouth hung open as you moaned for him only - and with the sight of you over him like this, Jungkook became painfully aware of the fact that he would miss you violently when this was over.
“Let me kiss you,” he said, removing his hands from your ass and his arms stretching for you to nestle into him. You did, leaning down as he cradled the back of your neck before meeting your movements at a mind bending pace.
The way his hands caressed your body was utterly different from the way he rammed himself into you, loud moans and cries erupting from your throat. He pressed his lips against yours, tongues twirling around each other sloppily as you came nearer to your high.
Your fingers moved down to your clit between your bodies, rubbing circles around it crazily as he broke the kiss to say, “You’re so fucking pretty. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Beautiful… no, he was.
An ethereal being under you, blond hair sticking to his face or sprawled around his face - a true sculpture crafted by skillful hands. You couldn't believe that someone like him was giving you a compliment as high as this; the one you were crushing on hard enough for it to hurt at all times.
But not now; right now, your mind was drowning in euphoria, happy hormones flooding your entire being - but the words he said next, you surely couldn’t categorise.
“I wish I could take you with me.”
You wanted to ask. But the way he slammed into you, cock finding all the right spots and rubbing against your walls incessantly, barely allowed you to form a single word, too much in a daze to think straight. And as he looked at you so softly, hand on your cheek and thumb rubbing your jaw, the affectionate touch threw you over the edge and into nothing, your release washing over you through broken keens.
Soon, he followed, your sounds, clenching walls and orgasmic bliss spurring him on as he shot his hot, white cum into the rubber. Sensitivity and pleasure brawled inside you until Jungkook’s stuttering hips stilled, chest heaving as if you both had run a marathon.
You remained on his chest for a moment, catching your breath and trembling as your sweat met the night air. Then, you slowly lifted your body, hissing as you felt your pulsating pussy clench around nothing; amplifying the soreness of the muscle.
You fell down next to him, grabbing the towel to clean yourself up as he discarded the condom. You closed your eyes as you tried to control your breathing as well as your spinning head. A part of you couldn’t believe that you’d just fucked Jeon Jungkook, him giving in to you willingly as you let your feelings flow freely.
You bathed in temporary ecstasy, remembering the gazes he’d thrown at you a moment ago: loving, caring, almost as if he wanted to tell you the same things you wanted to utter to him. But he stayed still, saying not one word, even when his breathing had steadied. You’d fallen for him and didn’t know if he had for you.
And then, you thought back to the way he’d always used to flatter girls - even here, he’d spent half his time trying to win over Youra. Maybe he didn’t want you here now either. And so, you let out a sigh, beginning to ready yourself to leave.
“What are you doing?” he asked when you tried to wiggle out of his grip, letting out a yawn as your eyes started growing tired.
“Going back to my room. Dia might be waiting.”
You slipped into your shirt and panties, attempting to stand up before his hand suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. You fell onto the mattress next to him again, looking at the confused expression on his face that probably mirrored yours.
Apparently you’d been wrong about him not wanting you to keep him further company, because...
“Stay,” he pleaded, nuzzling your neck as he planted a gentle, chaste kiss on your skin. “You’re still sobering up. I don’t want you to get lost.”
It hadn’t occurred to you that Jungkook might want you to stay. You’d thought that after all of this, you’d part ways again, him keeping an intimate night with you in memory while you basked in the delusional state of thinking he’d fallen for you, too. But instead, you found yourself texting Dia you’d be occupied elsewhere tonight before falling back into his warmth.
His arms wrapped around you tightly and his face buried in your hair, a type of affection in his touches that you didn’t have a name for yet. It really did feel like he harboured unspoken feelings for you like you did for him, but the fear of rejection lingered inside you so painfully that you didn’t dare to ask what all of this meant to him.
Instead, you put your hand on his firm bicep, wanting to know, “Bunny… do you really not believe in love?”
Maybe your question was too straight forward - and in the way he tensed, you thought that perhaps he’d understood what you felt. But in the drowsy state in which you floated right now, sleep slowly taking over your body, you couldn’t manage to phrase it anyhow differently.
“I’m not sure,” he answered, chest vibrating against your cheek as he spoke, “I think I’m just… scared.”
“Why?”
“Because…” He inhaled the scent of your shampoo, slipping one hand under your shirt to feel the warmth of the small of your back. “My… my Mom died younger than she was supposed to. Cancer and all that shit. And then my Dad remarried… she’s not even that bad and I know I’m an asshole towards her, but it’s just so hard to believe that…”
He gulped audibly, grip around you loosening just slightly while yours around him tightened. Almost as if you were keeping him whole. You finished his sentence when he didn’t as you whispered, “That he fell in love again? That he didn’t keep his loyalty to your mother.”
Jungkook’s silence grew further, eyes wide open and staring at a dark spot on the empty, neighbouring bed. Then, he nodded slowly. “I know it’s stupid. He’s allowed to. But I just miss her so much.”
You admired his strength: for someone who’d lost this much, he kept his emotions at bay perfectly, not a hint of an upcoming sob audible in his voice as he spoke steadily, calmly. You knew you would’ve broken down by now.
“You’re not stupid. Of course there’s still a type of attachment for you,” you mumbled, voice growing quieter and more tired, “but remember that love can happen more than once. And happiness, too. Try to understand that him being all alone might’ve been worse… at least he has her now.”
Jungkook swallowed another knot in his throat, readying himself to say something about his step-mother before he decided to state something else. “Maybe I do believe in love. Or maybe I will someday. What if I’m not entirely hopeless when it comes to this?”
“You’re not,” you answered, keeping him close to you before you gradually closed your eyes. There was one more thing you wanted to tell him before darkness consumed you, and in that sense, you whispered, “And people find it easy to fall for you, too.”
He sighed quietly, part of him wondering if you were referring to yourself, too. “I’ve never talked about this with Jimin or Dia… why am I telling you?”
You smiled, merely shrugging your shoulders; and then, your mind went blank, anything he said or might have said becoming blurry and inaudible. Jungkook was quick to follow your descent into a deep sleep, hoping that you’d be able to impart more knowledge to him in exchange for his life lessons.
He only woke up once, your shivering shaking him out of the dreamless sleep as he noticed that the wind blowing through the open window had become fresher. Carefully, he left you for only a minute, turning off the AC and closing the window before he slipped into bed next to you again.
The blanket covered you more than him and his arms around you provided you additional warmth. He noticed the way you slowly calmed down, your tremble soon stopping and giving way to your contented sighs. Soothing rubs on your back made you hum, and a small smile crept up his face when he felt your lips brush his bare chest.
But no matter how perfect you felt, his thoughts soon screamed at him about how tomorrow would be a painful hell of a day.
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When Jungkook woke up the next morning, you were still wrapped in his embrace, nearly as if you both hadn’t moved an inch the whole night.
Birds chirped a familiar song, indicating a casual morning, though they sounded different here in a stranger state and on a stranger bed. And with you in his arms, everything felt even newer - somewhat unreal. He could count on one hand how many times he’d spent the night with a girl and woken up next to her before immediately standing, getting dressed and leaving.
With you, not one ounce in his body fancied walking away, instead wanting to live in the moment for a while. You had your face buried in his chest, and he wondered how you could sleep like this anyway; but when he loosened his arms around you a little and gave you space to breathe, you sighed in relief. It almost felt as if you needed the air but voluntarily renounced it just to be close to him.
Jungkook noticed right away that you were a peaceful sleeper. You hadn’t draped your legs around his waist or sloppily drooled over his skin or pillow; you laid there, pouting and unbothered by the hair strand that moved with each breath you took.
He brought his lips close to yours, brushing over them before moving on to your nose. He wanted to kiss it; cover your face in gentle pecks without waking you up. But against his will, your eyes fluttered open slowly, taking in the sunlight that flooded through the now closed window.
Your fingers flinched a little, curling in when you saw him this close. You’d been awake for merely ten seconds, and yet, the sight of his molten eyes gazing at you awakened everything you’d felt the whole last evening and night. Memories flashing by, you remembered the moments you’d shared, the ache in your lower part still reminding you of how deeply and painfully you were caught in what he made you feel.
“Mornin’,” you whispered tiredly, blinking slowly. The headache was less bad than you’d expected, just a slight thump tingling and your stomach rumbling with hunger. Nausea hit you for a moment before you took a deep breath, trying to focus on anything but that.
Jungkook smiled at your morning face endearingly, brushing back his own hair before repeating the action with yours. “Good morning,” he mumbled, observing your reaction to his touch although you were already snuggled into him.
“Jimin’s still not here?”
“Do you want him to be here? See you like this,” he joked, laughing as you pouted and sat up slowly.
The other bed was still empty. You didn’t know where he was, but you strongly hoped that if he hadn’t spent the night with Dia, she hadn’t found out about his absence in his own room.
“God, I’m so happy I packed before the party yesterday,” you said, rubbing your temples as he stood and left the bed to stretch. “I feel like a mess and we’re leaving in… what time is it?”
Jungkook rounded the bed to grab his phone from the bedside table, eyes widening as he stared at the time before whistling and saying, “Just six in the morning.”
“What?” you exclaimed in disbelief, rubbing your eyes. “Did we just sleep for four hours or what?”
“I guess so.” Jungkook stretched again, candy for your eyes as his muscular body flexed and hardened at just the right places, golden skin glowing in the light beautifully. “Let’s go for a walk.”
You fell back into the bed, face twisting in disgust as you grunted. “No way. I'm dying. Sleep more.”
“Y/N,” he uttered softly, and suddenly his face was hovering above you, torso leaning down and fingers settling on your chin gently, “five hours are left. Let’s enjoy one last foreign sunrise.”
And then, he pulled you to your feet, hands on your waist. He gave you a small smile before he turned around, preparing himself to brush his teeth and get dressed. You took the time he needed to get ready to practically sprint to your room, avoiding the public walk of shame; but thankfully, you met no one and even Dia was still sleeping.
Of course she was. It was an ungodly hour after all.
You brushed your teeth with sleepy eyes, splashing cold water into your face and putting on the dress that you’d reserved for today. When you stepped out of the room, Jungkook was already waiting, wearing khaki shorts and a white, comfortable shirt that seemed to accentuate his light hair even stronger.
“The world isn’t even awake yet and we’re taking a walk,” you remarked as you passed a few trees and three squirrels. You waved at them as if they were actually going to react, and Jungkook laughed, throwing his head back as he buried his hands in his pockets.
You liked to make him smile. He always giggled like a child, his laugh shy and making you forget that he harboured all the confidence in the world.
You’d already walked for more than an hour, finding the little town you’d visited on your first day, drinking a strawberry shake before you made your way back to the hotel. The streets were empty, the road leading to your temporary stay seeming wider than when the bus had brought you there.
“Don’t you feel a little fresher though?” he asked, nudging your sides and tickling you unintentionally.
You scoffed as you rolled your eyes, sneering, “You might. I feel like a zombie and will knock myself out on the bus.”
“Ah, Y/N,” he said with a shaking head, “why won’t you give me the chance to spend our last few hours together talking and joking?”
The sting in your chest felt searing, and suddenly you wondered if Jungkook was planning to cut you out of his life forever once you’d returned to your city. It wasn’t even as if he lived somewhere else - meeting would’ve been a walk through the park for both of you.
Maybe it was easier to let him go just like that - to continue your studies and not work your brain this hard concerning a man you’d fallen in love with in the span of only one week. But something inside you felt restless, hoping that things might advance. You didn’t want to hold in what he made you feel; life flowed through you while you’d walked through the motions of the days so blurrily until now.
You wanted to be brave just this once.
You stopped in your tracks when the hotel came into view, fingers fumbling with the hem of your short dress as you said, “Jungkook.”
He halted too, turning around to you as he eyed your nervous state. Eyebrows furrowing, he stepped closer, meeting your sunken gaze as he waited for you to continue.
“I want to tell you something.”
You gulped, pressing your lips together, registering his anticipating, soft stare. But it only made the fear in you more intense, and when you didn’t speak, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
Even his heart was racing as he looked at you like this. Were you going to say what he thought you might? Or was it something he’d hate, something that would haunt him even when your presence was gone and just a memory?
“The thing is, I…”
But the words died in your throat when you heard someone call out for him, Jungkook’s body flinching as you both watched Dia and Jimin jog towards you. Something in their expression screamed discomfort, a crease between their eyebrows and jaws clenched in what seemed like anger. Jimin more so than Dia - he looked offended while she appeared sad.
“What’s this, Bunny?” Jimin inquired, holding up a big blue envelope that made Jungkook freeze at the spot. “Found this in your bag when I was looking for your camera.”
You stood behind, watching a situation unfold that you couldn’t decode. Jungkook took the envelope from him, looking to his feet as he mumbled, “I was going to tell you all on the train.”
“But dude!” Jimin said, puffing out air as he gave him a half genuine smile. “We were going to open a bar. And move in together. That won’t happen then?”
Jungkook didn’t reply - only looked at his friends in defeat. You stepped closer, seeing that his expression was endlessly pained, everything inside him questioning how to get out of this situation.
“I mean,” Jimin then continued, laughing sweetly as his dimples came into view, “it’s okay. I’m happy for you! Getting a scholarship for journalism in Chicago? That’s not easy, man. I just…”
For a second, your brain short-circuited.
Chicago.
Chicago was so far away. Not at all anyhow close to where you studied and intended to build a life. Suddenly, things started to make sense. The fleeting touches and gazes he threw at you, strongly indicating that your time was coming to an end, despite the night you’d spent together.
And even his words…
I wish I could take you with me.
You took a deep breath as you tried to interpret what he’d meant. Perhaps, you thought, even Jungkook saw a chance in you - to build something, to fall in love, to stay, to enjoy little things with you.
But even if he did, you knew you couldn’t keep him here anymore.
“I could’ve applied with you,” Jimin said, your mind snapping out of its haze. But Jungkook only shook his head, knowing exactly that this wasn’t what Jimin wanted - and besides, Jungkook needed this getaway, needed time for himself to see the world and meet new people. “Tell him something, Dia.”
The girl in question looked different now that you took a proper look at her. Her eyes were distracted, mind obviously swimming in melancholy. And when she stepped in front of Jungkook, put a hand on his shoulder and uttered her next words, you were sure she’d found out about Jimin’s nightly escapades.
“You should go,” she said calmly, staring at Jungkook with almost empty eyes. “It’s what you want and deserve. We have to leave our childhood behind now… you know, all these wild nights and careless drinking… and start becoming adults. So I’m rooting for you, Bunny.”
She smiled at him, nodding and patting his shoulder before she turned on the heel and approached the hotel with a fallen head. Jimin stared at her back in shock but collected himself fast, laughing a little in disbelief before he said, “Okay…”
“I’m sorry, Jimin.”
The man in question only shook his head, waving his hand in front of Jungkook’s face as he said, “It’s okay. Don’t apologise. You’ll do great and be an amazing journalist, I just know.”
Mimicking Dia’s pat on Jungkook’s shoulder, he followed her, both vanishing into the distance, leaving you and Jungkook alone in the middle of the street. Your mind still whirred from the new information, but you tried to keep your expression neutral.
He, however, didn’t. Guilt was written in his eyes as he looked at you like you were an anchor; like you could pull him out of the temporary misery he found himself in.
“They’re… mad at me,” he then whispered, worrying his lower lip.
“That’s okay,” you answered, taking his hand gently, “they’ll get over it. And be happy for you.”
He didn’t say a word for a while, hand trembling slightly in yours. For a moment, he lifted his head to the sky, closing his eyes before his gaze met yours again as he confessed, “I’m scared.”
You swallowed the heavy knot in your throat as you nodded slowly, smiling at him, “You get scared, too?”
He shot you a lopsided smirk, fingers of his free hand fiddling nervously. Then, he said, “Life is changing."
“So?”
“So… I’ll suddenly be alone.”
“And here?”
“I’m not alone. I like it here.” His eyes looked at you imploringly, seemingly searching for something you might say that would either change his mind or urge him to go. “But I-”
“You… want to fly… and run… and fall, right? You can’t eat porridge every day.”
He flashed his bunny grin, grip around your hand tightening. “I want to see every single corner of the world. And… studying there will bring me closer to this goal.”
You nodded again, so happy for him but so broken for your own happiness. You weren’t sure if finding out like this, right now was worse than parting ways without a warning, going back to daily life as you were used to.
Jungkook tilted his head, tapping his foot against the ground as he told you quietly, almost as if to cheer you up, “I’ll have to go, Y/N.”
“I know,” you answered, nearly as if to reassure him you’d be fine. “When are you going?”
“In three weeks. Three years of studies,” he answered, twinkling eyes buried deep in yours, taking in all of you and memorising every inch of your face. “Will you miss me?”
You clicked your tongue, feeling your eyes grow damp but blinking away emotions before he could see. It was probably too late anyway. You were sure he’d seen through you and detected your feelings already, but you were in no place to speak them out loud. You couldn’t keep him here - not if he had obvious destinations he wanted to reach, clear things he wanted in life.
“Not one bit,” you answered, voice becoming slightly shaky but the lovely smile Jungkook had slowly grown fond of never faltering. He’d see it for the last time today - and he hated the thought fervently.
And when he realised, he snapped out of his thoughts, asking you calmly, “You were going to say something… right?”
You smiled at him again, heart heavy with a thousand emotions that you yet had to figure out. But with him right in front of you, so close you could’ve touched and kissed him again, you couldn’t just yet.
With a last squeeze, you let his hand go, hearing the sounds of your group from far away as your eyes stuck on his and you answered, “Just that… the world is awake now.”
And with that, your feet started moving, hearing his steps behind you as you approached the hotel for one last time. No matter what still lingered on your tongue, you couldn’t tell him that morning.
Because no matter how deeply you’d fallen for him - he’d long fallen deeper for his dreams, giving you a thousand reasons why your journey with him was ending here and now. There was no way you would’ve dared to stop him from chasing them, even if it meant giving up your own.
Your heart ached, but somewhere inside, you were happy, too. To this day, you could never forget him - and if you were being honest with yourself, you hadn’t tried either.
Because with this trip, you were bringing home a heavier suitcase than before.
One filled with memories and faces; happy and frustrating moments on snowy mountains; warm days and cold nights; pictures you’d taken, screams you’d left; new friendships, new adventures, new experiences.
And Jungkook.
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Now
The last card falls from your hands and into the basket you’ll carry to the post tomorrow in slow motion. You lean back into the chair, stretching and hearing your bones crack as the sun vanishes entirely, giving way to the darkness and the sparkling of the stars.
Even now, the sky sometimes reminds you of his eyes; the glimmer you remember still haunts sleepless nights when you try to fall asleep desperately. But then you realise that haunting never entirely fits the feeling that creeps upon you - instead, your chest fills with warmth and a nostalgia you promised to carry inside you all those years ago.
You never allowed yourself to feel pain when it came to him; always strode forwards in life, chasing your dreams of becoming a successful doctor and better friend to those around you. Still unmarried, you’d long understood why settling down wasn’t the most important goal in life - it was to experience. Nothing in particular. Not long hiking days and endless nights filled with chatter.
Just experience life as it comes, in all its dull and vibrant colours, moods falling and lifting, pain and happiness coming and vanishing.
Five years have passed since Jungkook taught you all that and beyond. You’ve long stopped measuring time in boring units such as study years and began to count it according to the smiles you’ve shared with people. You don’t think you could be what and who you are now without him - one week in far away mountains was enough to change your whole philosophy and the way you view the world.
Jungkook never came back. You know he’s finished his studies and started his own thing, travelling the world and appearing on TV.
He’s changed. His hair grew out to its natural pitch black, still semi long as the locks frame his pretty, adulting face beautifully. Time has been gentle with him - no matter how much of it passes, Jungkook still glows, happily crossing oceans and borders and chasing his dreams.
While your being grew from what he made you, you sometimes wonder if he ever thinks about you. Probably not. And it’s, in fact, okay too.
Because he’s been gone for half a decade, no trace of his return anywhere written in the sky unless he decides to come to the wedding. But deep inside, you’ve convinced yourself that waiting for him is not an option you will entertain.
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Jungkook opens his laptop with an exhausted sigh as he waits for the lights imprinted on his eyelids to fade.
Oftentimes, the Burj Khalifa glows in various colours, a light show making tourists halt and watch in fascination. After a few nights of staying in the luxurious hotel room that gives a perfect view to the skyscraper, Jungkook is still not over the beauty of Dubai, nights stretching without an end as he stares out the window and watches the world come to life.
Tonight however, he’s tired and spent, the adventures of the afternoon and evening only leaving enough energy in him to want to haul himself to bed.
When he thinks back to the last few years, he notices how nights like these have become a well known habit. It’s the same old story of searching for information to air, happenings around the country he stays in, captured in notebooks and on camera. With his colleagues, his hectic everyday life has become routine.
He always proceeds to either help out with TV narrations or narrate himself, loving the attention he receives when he steps in front of the cameras with a mic. The feeling of doing what he’d dreamed of so long is liberating - every day is new and alluring, boredom slowly fading from its spot in his dictionary.
But something’s always missing.
“Hello there!” a familiar voice chimes through the speakers of his laptop, so much happier than he’s ever heard it sound before. “Since you won’t pick up my calls, I decided to pester you this way. I know you’re seeing this, so if you do, blink twice!”
Jungkook smiles at the screen, gulping down half his water from the glass in his hand. With a tilt of his head, he listens to her and watches her stroll around in her pink, bright room with the most radiant grin he’s seen in a long while.
“Look at me!” she says through the monitor, twirling around and presenting her short, gorgeous dress. “I got a manicure. And my hair is longer too!”
She steps closer to the recording device and Jungkook isn’t sure if it’s the make-up that tints her cheeks in this rosy hue or if she’s blushing with her next words. “Can you believe it’s the same girl you guys used to tease years ago? The one in crop tops and crazy headbands. This woman is getting married, Bunny!”
A hand covers her face in slight embarrassment, her giggles filling his empty hotel room as he looks down at his lap. Then, she continues, “You’ll come this time, right? I don’t even know where you are. I want us all to be together just once more, here at my wedding, us clowns drinking together again just this one time. Please?”
Guilt bites away at his heart as he thinks about the flow of time and how he’s left everything he held close behind in a country he hasn’t seen since he first let go of it five years ago.
“Minhee wants to meet you too. Keeps talking about you guys and he doesn’t even know you!” he hears in the background of his thoughts, her voice becoming quieter.
Dia getting married opens up a gate behind which Jungkook has stored long forgotten thoughts. Something about settling down with someone, building a life he’s never wanted but considered on a day that now seems like it belongs to another life.
A drunken night, shared with someone who’d meant more to him than he’d ever imagined, soft touches, loving words and early mornings tugging at his mind…
“I need you here, Bunny,” is what Dia ends her invitation with, the hand carrying her ring cupping her face. Her expression is pleading, almost desperate. Jungkook knew his friends would miss him as soon as he was gone; but he didn’t expect love and friendship to overcome time and space like this.
After all these years, he feels like he’s not deserving of forgiveness and second chances, especially after messing up and leaving his loved ones behind, never bothering to even uttering another hello until it was too late.
Jungkook taps his fingers against the table next to his laptop, letting out another sigh as his eyelids become heavy. The difference between his high school friend and him becomes crystal clear when he reminisces the nights he’s spent on his travels.
While she has found her soulmate, he’s still seeking solace either in his profession or other bodies, pressed against walls behind bars or his hotel room bed as he chases temporary intimacy in fading passersby. He’s long forgotten most of the faces who’ve provided him pleasure during all this time; sex becomes a fleeting memory and love something he still hasn’t experienced.
With that in mind, he realises yet again how profoundly something is missing. Someone.
Maybe it’s time to go home again.
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Dia has planned way too many parties before the big day - at least for your taste. Perhaps you’re only grumpy about it, because she charged you with a copious amount of tasks that need to be done before she gets married. And you, as her best friend and maid of honour, reading every wish from her lips, obliged instantaneously before glaring at the neverending list she’s given you.
But tonight, you try not to dwell on the stress that has passed and still awaits you ahead. Because tonight, you find yourself on a beautiful stage lighted in different shades of purple and blue, matching your midnight blue dress that hugs your curves like a second skin.
The open air tingles your scalp, the ceiling missing as stars scattered in the sky above you glow like glitter. If someone had told you years ago to step onto the stage and speak into the mic you’re clutching now with ease, you would’ve stared back in agony, indicating that you wouldn’t even talk in front of a crowd if heaven threatened to crash over your head.
But you’ve grown. Changed. Found reasons to love yourself and gain the confidence to explain to everyone more or less in detail what the person grinning from the seat in front of you means to you.
“You know,” you start, breathing in the fresh and crisp air of the evening, unusually pleasant for a day in December, “Dia and I met on a trip five years ago. While we went to the same school before, it was that vacation that brought me as close to her as I am to her now. But when we parted at the railway station after the trip was over, I thought I’d never see her again. You know. Met and forgotten.”
You see a few affirmative nods here and there, almost as if the guests understand exactly what transient, temporary friendships and relationships feel like. You pause for a moment, eyes locking on your best friend who has her arm propped up on the head of the chair, smiling at you fondly.
“But then one day, I heard a knock at my door. Went to open it and suddenly she was there,” you continue with a tilt of your head, shaking it as you utter your next words, “I swear, I’ve seen all of her moods. The time she dyed her hair purple, because she was convinced a heavenly voice had whispered it to her.”
Chuckles sound through the crowd and grow louder, waves of pride washing over you before you continue, “And then the day she decided to pierce her belly button, because Y/N, everyone does that now! But I think the moment I’ll remember the most is when she came to my home with the widest grin I’ve ever seen on her… well, except today. Look at her.”
All gazes turn to her, endeared laughter filling the room as Dia buries her face in her hand in embarrassment.
“So she came to me… saying she’s bringing the most important news of the decade. And she was right. I’m getting married, she said. To that engineer I told you about? Yeah, Y/N. That one. We’re in love.”
You shoot her and her fiancé Minhee another smile, watching fondly as he places his palm on her shoulder from behind. You must admit, when you first met him, he seemed awkward, like the complete opposite of her visually and personality wise. Dia told you just today how he’d lost his engagement ring in the little pool behind the hotel, diving head first into it to fish it out before she could see.
Maybe things like these are just what make you realise that he’s the right one for her. Tears prick your eyes when you recall the hazy chaos of guiding Dia through her wedding. With every wrong instance during the preparations, Minhee has been there and your chest tightens, happiness stirring your heart that she's found her soulmate at last.
“And now we’re here. Just want to say… I love you so much. Don’t forget me when you settle in your new home,” you finish with a sigh, nodding towards the applauding guests and ready to step off the stage before you hear a silvery voice.
It echoes through the speakers, a familiar sound reverberating in your head and your mind trying to take in the words before new ones follow. You know him - still remember him. After all this time, you still can’t forget the warm honey that drips from his voice, words coming together as sentences and forming a melody you’ve only had the pleasure to hear in your dreams for an eternity now.
The art of patience is hard to master and even harder to keep; and it seems as if you’ve endured it for long enough, because now, he’s finally here again.
You turn around in a haze, motions reminding you of bodiless dreams before your eyes meet his starry ones. His gaze wanders to and fro, trying to decide whether to settle on you or your friend as he nears your frozen figure.
Jungkook’s hair is still dark since the last time you saw him on TV. Somewhat curly, covering his ears but not reaching his chin. As the lights shower him in vivid hues, his personality gleams even brighter, a newly tattooed hand holding another mic and the other buried in the pocket of his trousers.
“So you’ve decided to choose the path of eternal jail I always warned you about,” his silky soft voice teases, body nearing yours and emanating more confidence than ever, “But since you’re so eager to walk away from us like that… why don’t we make the best of the next days of our youth and be reckless for a few nights?”
He’s talking to Dia, you see it. But you still fail to ignore the slight sting that accompanies the butterflies inside you as his eyes keep darting to you. And when he nudges your shoulder with his, throwing a wink at you, you’re reminded of the shameless soul you met years ago; the never aging spirit that you’d fallen for so hard, who still makes you feel giddy as he taps the mic.
And then, tumult erupts in the hall when Dia stands to scream into the night, smile widening impossibly as she basically jumps him and holds him close.
The rest of the night passes in a blur as you try to understand that he’s really here, here for you to embrace, talk and touch. But you’re busy most of the time, soothing people’s panic when they spill the expensive champagne, trash drinking glasses or step onto other’s feet when the music urges everyone to the stage turned dance floor.
Jungkook tries to approach you a few times, walking through the hall and greeting old and new faces. But his eyes always linger on you, thoughts boiling hot in his mind as he takes in your beauty under the night sky. If anyhow possible, you’ve grown even prettier, a warm, inviting comfort in a night that keeps growing colder.
And before you both know it, the party is over, balloons and liquid scrawled across the floor when he finally gathers his courage and asks Dia, “Where has Y/N gone?”
Already drunk, his friend waves her hand in front of her face, informing him that you’ve walked to your room to change after getting suffocated in the dress all night long. Instead of seeing his curiosity in his stare, she pulls him outside, covering his eyes hastily as he protests.
“What are you doing? Where are we going? Are you drowning me in the river?”
Dia assumes he means the obvious one right behind the hall that stands not too far away from the hotel, and shakes her head, soon realising that he can’t see. But now it’s time to open his eyes anyway - what she doesn’t expect, however, is Jungkook’s expression to fall fast, something akin to guilt creeping up his face as he takes in the second presence aside from Dia.
“Jimin,” he mumbles as he stares down to the man who’s sitting on a bench, sipping on a bottle of beer with a nonchalant look on his face.
“Hi, Jungkook.” His tone is flat, void of emotion as he stands, not even opting to hug his friend after not seeing him for so long. “Didn’t really think you’d come.”
“Why would I not come?” Jungkook questions quietly, smiling a little as he watches his former best friend step closer.
“Well, because… you never bothered to talk to us? I wouldn’t have known that you’re still alive hadn’t Dia informed me here and now.”
For some strange reason that the bride-to-be can’t decipher, Jimin has chosen to resort to hurtful words instead of a peaceful reunion. The tension in the air is tangibly uncomfortable and she steps between the men as she complains, “Come on, guys. We’re finally together again. Us causing chaos and drinking the whole night, just like it was before! Can’t we-”
“Like before?” Jimin laughs, scratching his nose as he chides, “Except for our faces, every single thing between and about us has changed.”
“But nothing ever changes between frien-,” Jungkook begins but is yet again met with a mocking smirk.
“But now… we’re not friends anymore,” Jimin interrupts, full lips pressing together as his jaw clenches. Jungkook knows he’s angry and he knows why, but the pain that courses through him at Jimin’s words is something he still wanted to avoid for as long as he could.
“But we are!” Dia exclaims in shock, pointing to Jungkook. “We kept in touch, right? The last time we talked you were in London not long ago.”
Jungkook lowers his head, licking his lips as he sighs heavily. As much as he appreciates her attempts to defend him, he fully understands that he doesn’t deserve it, thinking back to the cause of the phone call that had come in the last time they’d talked.
“Chicago. When Dad died. You called, because… I couldn’t be here.”
Jimin scoffs at his words, the crooked smile never vanishing before he stands up and leaves the scene. Dia pats Jungkook’s shoulder in reassurance, pleading him to give Jimin just a bit more time and he’d come around. Forgive him.
She distracts him instead, asking how long he plans to stay, to which Jungkook reluctantly reveals he’d leave right on the night of her wedding.
“I got… a huge offer. I was going to leave the company I work for right now… you know, venture out, find new opportunities. Sometimes you have to leave a place to find something better,” he explains, toying with the hem of his suit jacket. “But my co-worker offered me to… host my own show. In Paris.”
Dia’s eyes widen at his words, slapping his shoulder lightly before she cheers, “In Paris, oh lala! Designer bags and the Louvre! That’s freaking amazing! Just what you always wanted, right?”
Yes. It is. The biggest opportunity he’s received in years, his chest filling with pride and excitement every time he thinks back to the conversation he had with his beloved colleague.
And he’s still looking forward to it, he really does - but something still tugs at his heart, not allowing him to relish in his happiness properly. Dia notices and tries to lift his demeanor further, attempting hard to make him feel more welcome and loved.
But Jungkook is in no mood for comfort that won’t seep through him until he hears the words from Jimin himself. And in that sense, he wishes Dia a good night, ready to cuddle up in his blankets and come up with a strategy to fight the battles that await the next few days.
His plans, however, change immediately as he walks along the bay of the river, the hotel already in sight but your presence calling him louder. Sleep seems like a distant wish with your angelic form in front of his eyes, utterly hypnotising as he approaches you slowly.
There you are, feet propped into the cold water as you sit on the steps that lead into the river. You’re wearing something else now, hair loosely hanging over your shoulders and face glowing in the faint, silver-white moonlight.
“Aren’t you cold?”
You flinch as you hear his voice yet again, splashing some water onto your grey, rolled up sweatpants as you take a deep breath. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry,” he mutters as he sits down next to you, taking off his shoes and socks and dipping his toes into the water, too. He hisses for only a moment as you laugh, assuring him that “it’ll get warmer with time”.
A short silence falls upon you as you bask in the feeling that the fresh watery air brings into you, comfortably sitting next to each other while you both wait for the other to speak. Then, he turns to look at you, capturing his lower lip between his teeth for a moment before he asks, “Were you… this beautiful before, too? Or was time extra nice to you?”
You laugh, throwing your head back gently before you turn to look at him. It’s the first time you’re actually looking at him tonight, despite having ogled at his form when he appeared earlier tonight.
Jungkook is still as beautiful as you remember in the deepest chambers of your brain. If anyhow possible, the dark hair and changed expression add further to his handsomeness, the same faint, light scar on his cheek reminding you that even flaws can make a person infinitely prettier.
But somehow, the glimmer in his eyes doesn’t match the one you knew from before. The liveliness they harboured all those years ago seems a little dull and faded now, carrying a hint of melancholy that drips from his gaze like cold water.
“Did you steal that line from a movie?” you inquire back, but he doesn’t laugh, only stares at you and your smile tenderly.
“It’s called flirting, Y/N… It’s-”
“Good for my health.” You’re not looking at him anymore as you whisper these words, taking in the beauty of the moon hanging in the velvety darkness instead; but it fades next to him, nearly becomes unenjoyable. “I still remember.”
“What else could I expect from a thriving doctor?”
You look at him in question, eyebrows furrowing. “You know about that?”
Jungkook smacks his lips, slowly getting used to the temperature of the water. Then, he says, “No. But I think highly of you. Of course you’d be a great doctor by now.”
You smile at him in a way that has his heart crumbling just a bit too much, a tinge of yearning stabbing his chest with more fervour the longer he looks at you. You’re so easy to become lost in. The world keeps spinning and his thoughts keep twirling around a million things - but you haven’t changed.
And as if you’ve read his mind, you tell him, “You didn’t change at all. Still these lame little pick-up lines and sweet, random reassurances.”
Jungkook averts his gaze from the fluorescent beam that surrounds you, too bright for him to stare as he looks at his reflection in the dark water instead. Over his head, stars still shine beautifully; the night sky you used to compare to his eyes long ago. But you notice that just like the stars twinkling above you five years ago, the shimmer in his pupils seems to have died, too.
“You just… don’t smile anymore,” you then remark, an echo of long lost memories following your words. “That’s the only thing that changed about you. And well, your hair. I love it like that.”
Jungkook rethinks the last years and days he experienced, happy and sad memories flooding his mind as he ponders various possible reasons for the shift in his mood. He wants to tell you. Wants to open his heart to a girl he hasn’t seen in half a decade, one he barely knew for a week back then properly. He wants to say it all to you, let your comfort cool the burning that unspoken words inflict on his tongue.
But as your phone buzzes between your bodies, his eyes automatically flicker to the message you received, an unknown number having sent you a text that Jungkook can’t help but laugh at.
“Saw a beautiful girl today and it was like…”
And that’s all there is. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow, an obviously teasing lilt in his voice as he asks you, “Secret admirer?”
You roll your eyes, hiding as much of your phone as you can in your palm before you lift your feet and dry them mid air. “So what?”
“Just asking. I understand though. You looked gorgeous tonight.”
“And now I don’t anymore?”
“Told you just a few minutes ago that you do.”
You giggle as his eyes widen, seeming darker under his black locks. You stand to hover above him, pointing to his feet as you want to know, “How’s the water now?”
Jungkook nods, moving his feet in the liquid that has now become pleasant, somewhat warm even. “A lot better.”
“Told you. Sometimes you just have to wait and get used to it.”
And then, you walk away slowly, shoes in your hand and eyes locked on the hotel building in the near distance. Jungkook is sure there’s more behind your words than just some harmless talk about water.
But right now, he can’t decode what you hinted at. He only watches your figure become smaller until you vanish, leaving him alone on the stairs as he feels a genuine smile erupt on his face for the first time since he’s arrived here.
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There are moments when Jungkook tries to tip-toe into your brain quietly to find out what’s going on inside.
Because despite being strangers for five whole years, you pick up your banter right where you left, hitting his shoulder when he looks at a girl for too long or smuggles a bottle of beer into his thin jacket without anyone noticing (except you).
Dia has planned a whole week with different events every day that will eventually lead to the glorious wedding. And Jungkook spends most of this time with you.
“She’s a bit of a lunatic, isn’t she?” he asks you when you enter a room you’ve forcefully dragged him into. Only two minutes ago, you caught him trying to sneak away with a bag, reassuring you that he would be back for game night before you could blink twice.
But game night was in an hour and there was no way he was going to - as he’d said - visit the old town and come back in time. Just the ride there went for over forty minutes.
“Always. But anything for the bride, right?” you tell him, tucking your hair behind your ear before you hand him a full outfit to wear. It’s a black button up shirt with white dots, almost looking like a night sky, along with dark jeans you urge him to change into.
He grimaces at you as he runs a hand along the fabric, curiously inquiring, “Why the hell do you have spare clothes here?”
“Because,” you begin, eyes darting from the champagne bottles to the flowers in the corner you’ve organised, “people get drunk. People don’t bring enough clothes. I want them to look nice, so I go above and beyond.”
“Above and beyond indeed. I’ve never seen anyone do that before,” he says with a tilt of his head, stepping away from you to approach the room next door.
You wait patiently as you lean against the table, listening to his quiet hums as he sings a song you’re sure you’ve heard somewhere. And suddenly, he opens the door to your surprise, your eyebrows furrowing as you wonder how he could change this fast. But then, you’re met with a sight that renders you speechless, your brain declaring him shamelessness personified in the most extraordinary form.
Because while the black button-up hugs his firm torso perfectly, you’re met with naked legs, merely the dark red underwear covering his most intimate part as your mouth falls open. Before he can see the way you bite your lip, you turn around, gripping the table until your knuckles turn pale and you scold, “Can you please put on the jeans? God, Jungkook…”
But instead of giving in to your request, he steps closer, his presence near your body causing goosebumps on your skin. Then, he worsens your state further, your heart beating violently in your throat when he reminds you, “What? It’s not like you haven’t seen all that already.”
Your breath hitches with a gasp, and when he blows some air against your hair playfully, your elbow flies into his clothed stomach reflexively, eliciting something that sounds like a mix between a surprised groan and breathy laugh.
It’s not the first time that you think back to the memory of your shared night, the touches and sounds still burned in your brain and serving as inspiration for when you feel like indulging in self care. He doesn’t need to know that, though.
It isn’t until you hear the familiar sound of a zipper that you turn around, raising an eyebrow at his smug grin before he takes your hand and pulls you out of the filled hotel room. He still cannot comprehend that you actually booked a whole room just for things you’ll need at the wedding, and he still teases you when you reach the open place near the hotel.
On other days, children play on the meadow, chasing each other or running around with a football in their hands. But today, everything has been transformed into a little open theatre, planks of wood having been rearranged to a small stage with fairy lights dangling from tree branches above you.
“This reminds me of the bonfires and parties we had on Ringrey Rise,” he suddenly says when you’ve settled in the last row, his eyes staring straight ahead into the crowd of mingling voices and excited smiles.
But your head moves to the side to look at him instead, endless thoughts tumbling over each other in your head as they try to grab your attention one by one. There are so many things he doesn’t know - that you’re not telling him.
He doesn’t know that you still cherish the warmth the fire brought you back then. He doesn’t know that your insides grew even hotter gradually when you realised that he stayed by your side deliberately, trying to give you some sort of comfort that you’d denied yourself for days. And he certainly doesn’t know that when he’d first told you how amazing you were the way you lived and breathed, he’d changed every opinion you thought you’d had about yourself.
Until today, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to thank him for the confidence he taught you back then, but now that you’re here, you’re quick to not let this opportunity slip through your fingers.
“Do you remember the conversation we had? When you caught me studying on the night of the bonfire?” you ask carefully, sighing right after as you watch his eyes settle on yours softly.
Manspreading on his seat, he intertwines his fingers between his legs, nodding as he presses his lips together and showcases the mole you’re so fond of. “Of course I do.”
“This, uh… might sound cheesy,” you say with a laugh, balling your hands to fists in your lap, “but I want to say thank you. You know, just… for cheering me up that day. Saying the things I needed to hear. I feel like everything you told me was exactly what I feared, but…”
You gather the words on your tongue, trying not to confess too much and too fast as he waits for you to continue. “But I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. I’m happy that I allowed myself to come out of my shell, but I have to thank you for encouraging me to do so in the first place.”
The smirks oozing with mocking confidence he throws at you usually stay present, but this time, he looks at you with wide eyes instead - his gaze a coalescence of confusion and pride. You soon decipher that you must have been the first one to tell him about his power of changing lives.
“Do you mean that?” he asks, blinking a few times too fast. And when you nod, his lips form a humble and pleasant smile, causing the flame inside your heart to blaze brighter before he adds, “I didn’t know I affected you this much. I’m happy to hear that.”
“You really did.”
Whenever Jungkook stands in front of a camera, he feels his soul float. Like a freefall, the adrenaline pushes his motivation further and forces him to work harder, smiles never faltering and the chase after his dreams never ending.
And with you, he feels something similar. You make him want to stay right here, sitting on uncomfortable chairs as you watch people embarrass themselves while playing children’s games.
Similar to you, Jungkook feels a fire in his chest each time you utter one of your lovely words - but differently from you, the heat never stays long but gives way to cool solace. Like a drop of water touching a hot surface and evaporating to clouds in his mind that he floats on as long as he sees and feels your presence right in front of him.
You keep staring at each other in oblivion until you hear applause around you, making you both flinch as you intuitively begin clapping as well. And then he laughs, coming close to you as he taunts, “And you were seriously studying!”
“Well yeah,” you yell over the noise, “I’m a great doctor now for a reason!”
“But studying on a trip, on a mountain!”
“Not if you’re there to interrupt!”
“And lecture you!”
“And see right through me…”
“You were crazy for me.” By now, the chaos has slowed down and his voice with it, his face too close, eyes too sparkly. You stare at him with a grin, scoffing slightly.
“As if.”
“I’m right.”
He’s right.
“Are you going to play the games tonight?” he asks you, voice quiet and his hand squeezing your knee lightly. You don’t know when it landed there, but you’re not going to complain either.
You click your tongue and shake your head, leaning forward in your seat without ever averting your gaze from him. “No. Let’s go somewhere else. And talk about how crazy I was about you.”
Jungkook smiles at you, standing before you and offering you his inked hand. You place your palm in his carefully, instant electricity flowing through your veins as he opens his mouth to confirm, “I think I love this idea.”
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When Jungkook walks to the hotel again, his body feels lighter than a feather, legs not carrying him but floating right above the ground. He wears a smile on his face with flushed cheeks, thoughts of you occupying every spot in his mind as he remembers the grin you shot him when you parted two minutes ago.
In his half drunk haze, he almost doesn’t see the man sitting on a random table aloof from the rest of the crowd, rubbing his neck with an exasperated expression on his features. Jungkook understands soon what Jimin’s doing with the other ladies and gentlemen who have gathered around him; and within one moment, the delirious feeling of floating vanishes and gives way to frustration instead.
He walks over to the gambling table, watching Jimin’s fatigued eyes look up at him for only a second before he lowers his gaze nonchalantly again. But when Jungkook arrives to stand right next to him, he acknowledges his former friend’s presence and sighs.
“Let’s go,” Jungkook says, placing a hand on Jimin’s shoulder gently, almost fearfully. “That’s enough, Jimin.”
He expects Jimin to bark back at his words, annoyed eye rolls accompanying his bad mood; but instead, he throws the cards onto the table, shoving the chair back and glaring at his company in anger.
“Fine. We’re done here anyway.”
While Jungkook seems like a saint to Jimin in front of these cheating gamblers, his indifferent demeanor returns the moment they walk to his hotel room in silence. Both have their hands buried in their pockets, Jungkook’s mind whirring around the question if he should accost his friend’s bad habits or not.
It’s only when Jimin thanks him for accompanying him to his room and telling him he’s free to leave that Jungkook speaks up. He follows Jimin inside, much to the latter’s displeasure - but the tension has become too unbearable and it’s time to address it once and for all.
“Why are you still doing that, Jimin?” Jungkook asks, folding his arms as he watches Jimin slump onto his unmade bed. Not much seems to have changed since their younger years when Jimin used to gamble away his money irresponsibly. “And please don’t act as if you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Jimin doesn’t answer, instead cramming for the TV remote and switching to the first channel that comes to mind. For a moment, both grow distracted, the familiar voice in the TV grabbing their attention. There he is, talking to the cameras in the middle of Tokyo about something he’s long forgotten.
But what Jungkook does remember is that his colleague had stood right beside the camera, nodding affirmatively and showing him a thumbs up when he improvised a particularly good line. Jungkook gazes at the background attentively, a small smile playing around his lips until he’s suddenly gone.
Instead, Jimin has switched to a baseball game, leaning back against the headboard of his bed as Jungkook’s head shoots at him with hurt in his eyes. Voice becoming small, he says, “That was my show. Can you switch back?”
“Nah,” Jimin remarks in an instant, shrugging his shoulders, “I find it boring.”
“You think my show’s boring?” There’s clear and obvious ache in Jungkook’s expression, arms falling sideways and weight shifting from one leg to another.
Jimin stays silent yet again, only toying with the inside of his cheeks. Jungkook scoffs, brushing a hand through his tresses as he steps closer and asks, “What’s your problem, Jimin?”
The man in question stands from the bed, tongue darting out to wet his lips and voice injected with venom snapping back, “What my problem is? You know exactly what it is. Five years have passed, Bunny, and you never bothered to reach out to talk to me. There were days when I called four times, and I mean…”
He pauses, laughing at his pathetic complaints, wishing he could just stop caring instead. “Even if you can’t talk at one moment, you can call back, right? You come here, know nothing about my life and then you have the nerves to ask me what my problem is?”
“Okay, Jimin,” Jungkook cautions, stretching out a hand in defense and eyebrows furrowing. “Calm down.”
“Calm down how? Five years and barely anything from you!”
Jungkook’s voice raises as he utters his next words, becoming more irritated with each second that passes, “I didn’t call Dia that much either! But she didn’t complain! Try to understand, I was scattered across the world… trying to work towards my dreams and build up the life I wanted!”
“Dia expects nothing from you, Jungkook! She thought you weren’t even going to come to this wedding. But right! It’s about you!” His hands raise above his head in faked defeat, the come-hither smile never falling. “Your dreams, your problems, your excuses! Tell me, Jungkook - what am I doing in life right now? Hm? Do you have an answer to that?”
The vexation burns bright in his eyes, strands of his light brown hair hanging into his eyes as he walks past Jungkook to wash his face in the bathroom. He halts, however, right in front of the door when he hears Jungkook answer, “Your bar. You opened up a bar, didn’t you?”
Jimin laughs mockingly, shaking his head in annoyance. “Oh yeah. The one I lost a few months ago along with most of my money? Yep.”
Jungkook’s gaze softens, awkward silence befalling the room. His fingers twitch to reach out and pull Jimin into a hug, but the way he’s glaring at him from the other side of the room leaves no possibility for truce.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t kno-”
“Of course not. You don’t know anything, because you’re never here, because you never try. You didn’t even come to your own father’s funeral!”
And that’s when all empathy vanishes and rage takes its place, Jungkook’s blood boiling in lava temperatures instantly as he closes Jimin in and shoves him against the door hard. “At least I’m not a fucking gambler like you are! Useless, playing for dirty money while never finding a purpose in life!”
With that, Jimin pushes Jungkook back with a force that nearly sweeps the younger man off his feet, his eyes barely refocusing when he sees Jimin grab a statue that sat on the shelf right next to the TV. Jungkook’s eyes grow impossibly, breath hitching in his throat as he yells, “Are you fucking crazy? I will die, man! Here, ta- take this instead.”
Jungkook grabs the pillow at the foot of the bed, throwing it into Jimin’s face, hoping to diffuse the situation. Jimin catches it swiftly before hitting his friend’s shoulder with the soft, painless material. Although the fight is harmless, their anger is real, childish words flying around as Jimin curses at Jungkook who screams back that Jimin “should fight with his own hands if he’s brave enough!”.
With the aggression that both pour into their kindergarten fight, the pillow soon rips in two pieces, feathers flying around and restricting their visions as they fall to the ground in opposite directions.
Chests heaving, they stare at each other with darkened gazes, Jimin’s eyes rolling in disbelief as he remarks, “And all that... because of a guy winning a double jackpot in Tokyo.”
Jungkook’s about to curse back at him, an insult tingling the tip of his tongue before he freezes momentarily. He looks at Jimin with a raised eyebrow, pointing the finger with a tattooed smiley at him as he queries, “How do you know that it was about a double jackpot thing?”
Jimin clenches his jaw, still hellbent on avoiding Jungkook’s eyes. But Jungkook laughs, crawling closer until their knees almost touch. “You did watch my show.”
“Every single episode,” Jimin confesses quietly before his tongue wets his lips, his voice growing softer just a little bit. “How could I not?”
Both of their eyes wander down to the feathery mess, the air becoming lighter and more loving as time ticks by. After everything these two experienced in their past, Jungkook feels a newfound hope that demolishes the pain that the distance brought.
With a worried expression taking over his features, he says, ”Listen. Your time will come too. I have… a bit of money saved. Take it and save your bar.”
Jimin sighs heavily and shakily, eyes closing in weariness and soft, sweet voice whispering, “It’s a huge amount, Bunny…”
“How much?”
The older man gulps, the number leaving his vocal chords as if it’s painful for him to say it out loud. “Almost three thousand.”
“Okay. Done,” Jungkook says, his hand settling on Jimin’s shoulder carefully as the latter looks up at him with incredible distress in his eyes.
For a moment, he continues to stare, constantly swallowing the knot in his throat until he stands, walking to the TV and grabbing two glasses. He pours some whiskey from the bottle on the shelf into them, laughing gently.
“You idiot,” he begins, honey returning to his lovely voice, “you can’t buy my friendship with money. I’m not that cheap.”
Jungkook leans against the bathroom door, asking in earnest, “What can I do for you then?”
“Here.” Jimin returns to his spot next to his friend, handing him a glass before taking a sip as well. “Drink with me.”
With a clank of their glasses, Jungkook shoots his infamous bunny smile into his direction, drinking the liquid in one go with a grimace. And then, he tells Jimin, “You’ll still take my money.”
For a moment, Jimin stares back at Jungkook with his lips formed to an O and pupils dilating. Then, he breaks out in a genuine laugh - no mocking, no disgust, no hate behind it; only pure friendship, affection and nostalgia.
Apparently, nothing has changed after all.
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“It’s so warm for December,” you remark, dressed in barely a thin cardigan as you take in the tropic climate of the place.
When Jungkook knocked at your door this morning, you hadn’t expected to be greeted by his form carrying a bag around his shoulders, urging you to visit the old town and its attractions. You’d initially planned to sit on the couch the whole day, going over the last details for the wedding in your bathrobe.
You’d considered you looked terrible with a towel wrapped around your hair and no make-up present on your face, but Jungkook hadn’t blinked once before he’d told you to get ready as fast as possible.
Which is how you find yourself admiring the narrow alleyways, passing little cafés and restaurants located between the brick walls and hearing the happy chatter of people around you. Your hair flutters in the breeze as you reach an open square again, birds flying in the distance as the sun begins its descent.
“It’s beautiful,” you tell Jungkook, flashing him a breathtaking smile to which not even the beauty of the town can compare. “You must’ve seen places like these multiple times in the last few years.”
Jungkook’s left hand shoots out of the pocket of his jeans, gesturing towards the square as he says, “I’ve seen something like this in Venice. Piazza San Marco. But I’ve seen even prettier places that would blow your mind Y/N, you can’t even imagine.” He pauses for a moment, matching your slow steps before he adds, “I don’t think I could live like this… like you.”
You scoff from the side, nudging his sides with your elbow. With a roll of your eyes, you inquire, “Like me?”
“Yeah, like,” he begins, taking off his cap to run his fingers through his dark locks, “one place. One country. The same four walls, the same people and places. I know that’s your thing, but I can’t imagine the boredom of it.”
“I mean, I chose this life, Bunny.” Your eyebrows furrow as you laugh a little, trying to find something you can remark just to be petty about him dismissing your life like this. “I don’t want to wander around cluelessly like you.”
You pass by him, accelerating your steps as he halts for a second with an amused grin, watching your heated figure walk away. He catches up to you soon, arguing, “You don’t know how it is to sit with strangers and listen to their stories all night long. All the things they have to say…”
“And you don’t know how it is to sit with old friends,” you reply calmly, matching his smug smile as you take the challenge of out-arguing each other, “with a cup of coffee and listening to what’s happening in their lives.”
“You haven’t tried original kimchi in the heart of South Korea.”
By now he’s walking in front of you, backwards, guiding himself intuitively as you approach some ruins at the end of the square, most walls already tumbled down and giving way to a cliff-like area. You’ve barely noticed that you’ve reached a spot this high, fields and the horizon stretching endlessly beneath this place after hours of walking and laughing.
“And you haven’t tried my blueberry pie,” you answer, a hand gripping his shoulder and turning him around, “handmade with the instructions on my grandma’s recipe.”
But he doesn’t stop; keeps searching his glowing mind for more things he can say just to spite you. You’re relaxed, however, long having realised that he’s trying to rile you up - but you won’t give in to that. Whatever he has to say, you can counter with examples of your birthplace.
“Dancing with foreign kids, because they like your accent so much.”
Your eyes settle on a dove that pushes itself from the edge of a destroyed, low wall of the ruins, spreading its wings and flying into the fading light of the sinking sun. You feel at peace, remembering everything you’ve witnessed and seen in the hospital as you whisper, only loud enough for him to hear, “Seeing the birth of a child and the happiness that comes with it.”
And that seems to shut him up, no argument following as your hands touch the broken bricks in front of you. The wind is colder and stronger here, the open field playing with your hair and soul as you hear his playful tone again.
“And since we’re talking about it - you want children! Want to stay at home and take care of them all day as you grow tired and old,” he states matter-of-factly, laughing melodiously as you glare at him in your faked annoyance.
“Yes!” you exclaim, holding up your fingers, “I want six of them! And when they’re old enough, we’ll all gather in our living room, binging all the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies, okay?”
You attempt to walk away, your knee-length dress fluttering behind you - but his hand wraps around your arm swiftly, pulling you back and close to him as he tells you, “You’re not right, you know? Just really different from me.”
The shock of his sudden movement fades before you smile at him gently, watching his eyes soften and look at you with a feeling that looks like profuse endearment. And with his gaze, something in you turns into a puddle, too. “I know.”
Your expression looks soft, a deep stare piercing Jungkook’s soul and setting it on fire as he watches you turn and walk away from him. The way you’re standing in front of the last of the sunset, ready to fly away, makes you look like a mythical creature Jungkook has only heard about in stories and fairytales.
It’s baffling to him yet again how captivating you are, locking yourself in chambers of his brain and then throwing away the keys as if it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever done.
Jungkook takes a deep breath, finding his voice again as a crooked smile graces his face that you can’t see. From behind, you hear him break the silence as he asks, “And you really want six kids? All from one husband or can I help you out?”
“You’re freaking gross,” you remark as you sit down at the edge of the ruins carefully, looking at him in disgust before you turn around again. You try not to stumble into the endless abyss under you as you pat the spot next to you, gesturing for him to take a seat, too.
And although he approaches you, he only bends his body slightly, fishing out a brochure from his bag that he holds in front of your face. You stare at it in question, needing a moment for the words to become clear in your sight at the same time as he explains, “The light show. Let’s go instead of sitting here.”
“I’m tired, though, Bunny,” you tell him, patting the seat next to you again. “I don’t want to walk anymore. And it’s so pretty here, look.”
You nod towards the horizon, soaking in the evening sun and awaiting darkness already as you rub your shoulders. But he doesn’t budge, brochure coming closer to your face as he says, “But it’s a one time thing, Y/N. And I brought this to remember the address it takes pla-”
His gaze widens, loose hair strands falling into his eyes as he watches you grab the paper and throw it into the nothing below you. It falls in slow motion to his utter shock, a glare meeting your smiling eyes, ready to remark something angrily. But you remain soft and tender, pulling him down carefully.
“And if we find out later that the light show was actually solid and amazing as hell?” he grunts, the pout on his lips making you giggle lightly.
“Yeah, of course it will be. Amazing,” you answer before gesturing at the sight in front of you with an open palm. “But then we would’ve missed this solid sunset, you know?”
Jungkook silences, unable to respond properly as he stares at you, waiting for something with the feeling you might not be done yet. And in the next moment, his thoughts prove to be true.
“Kook,” you start, letting your eyelids flutter shut for a few seconds as you breathe in the evening air, “there are things in life that will always slip through your fingers. You can’t see and enjoy them all. Let some of them go.”
Jungkook swallows the knot in his throat, anger coming down as he lets his legs dangle from the edge, watching your profile glow in the soft orange sun rays. Never has he experienced a shift in his emotions this fast.
But then again, this discussion was solely about a light show; and with you sitting right next to him, drenched in the light nature is providing you, he realises that this might top any fake entertainment he’d looked forward to somewhere deep in this town.
“Stay still,” you utter, sighing as you tuck a hair strand behind your ear before you take his hand into yours, “and enjoy the moment.” Your thumb grazes the back of his hand, small palm wrapping around his large one and holding on.
Jungkook doesn’t want to fall in love.
He doesn’t want the things romcoms talk about, the butterflies that flutter wildly until one party leaves the other heartbroken and shattered. Love is supposed to be everlasting; he doesn’t want it to fade one day just for you to find someone better when you grow tired of him.
And while he hates the way his heart flaps and dances in your presence and with your touch, he feels an unknown emotion extend in his chest that he thinks might not be that unfamiliar after all. He thinks he’s felt it before, in another life, at another place, with you, only with you.
And as you sit there, watching darkness drench the town, he eliminates all negativity in his mind and does just that - enjoy a moment he might not experience again.
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Half of the taxi ride passes in silence as Jungkook reiterates your words in his mind, regret flooding him anew with the thoughts and memories that come crashing back from years ago.
You don’t ponder. Both of you look out the window for the first twenty minutes, Jungkook’s pupils sparkling above your heads in the sky as you get lost in the glimmer of the stars. It’s only when you turn to look at him, lips turned downward that he speaks again without meeting your eyes.
“Three years ago I was on a mountain with my team,” he starts, voice quiet and hair flying into his sight due to the narrowly opened window. “We were there to film some things, but none of us had a phone signal up there except for emergency calls.”
You can’t imagine where he’s going with his narration, but you listen attentively, his gloomy tone shaking and scaring something inside you. You shift closer until your legs touch, trying to glimpse at his damp eyes.
“When we climbed down, I had numerous missed calls, e-mails and messages. I’m talking… dozens and hundreds of calls. As it turned out, Dad had... died during the time I was up there. And I didn’t know. I couldn’t even attend his funeral… or tell him I loved him one last time. Nothing, nothing at all.”
And then, he turns his head to you, faces incredibly close as you see the agony and regret written in his face clear as day. He doesn’t cry; holds himself together the same way he did when he told you about his mother all those years ago. Then, he smiles, the same old crooked smirk appearing but never reaching his eyes as he lifts your chin with his fingers.
“I never even told Jimin or Dia about this,” he says, his thumb brushing against your cheek softly and electrifying your skin, “why am I telling you?”
You shrug your shoulders, smiling at him as you answer, “I don’t know.”
You lean into his touch, placing your head on his shoulder. And before you know it, you’ve arrived at the hotel again, both your senses coming to life when your driver wakes you up and informs you it’s time to leave.
As both your eyes meet, you find your face dangerously close to his like before, both of you staring at each other’s lips as the silence of the night engulfs you. But before you can do anything stupid, you back away, opening the door of the car and leaving him wondering.
Wondering about him and you.
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When Jungkook looks for you the next evening, surrounded by a crowd gathered around one of the guests singing away, he finds himself staring at another drama instead. From afar, he cannot hear the words Jimin and Dia are exchanging, but when Minhee bursts into the conversation and pulls her away, Jungkook’s sure he knows what’s going on.
He watches Dia and her fiancé discuss something for a while, fingers wildly gesturing and faces glaring until Minhee finally leaves, shaking his head.
“That was…” Jungkook begins as he steps closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulder before he squeezes, “intense. He saw you talking to Jimin for just a moment and got jealous?”
Dia furrows her eyebrows in confusion, shaking her head slowly as if Jungkook has said the most stupid thing since he arrived here. She exhales a sigh as he lets her body slump onto a nearby chair, the bonfire reflecting in his eyes as she stares into them.
“Are you kidding me? Minhee, jealous?” she then clears up, gulping visibly, “I was scolding Jimin for gambling again and Minhee came between us to defend him. He doesn’t want any conflict at our wedding…”
Guilt flashes through Jungkook briefly as he realises that he’s once again assumed the worst about Minhee. No matter how awkward the man appears to be, he truly seems to love his girl and respect all of her friends, whatever her past may be with them. While he’s obviously the other side of the magnet opposed to Dia, there’s no doubt that he will look at her like she’s the North star and chase her like his true love that she is.
“He’s perfect for you, you know?” Jungkook then tells her, lifting her head before he sees the wetness gather in her eyes. “I’m sorry for teasing you so much, but he’ll make you so, so happy. Definitely more than Jimin ever could’ve.”
She looks up to him in wonder, tilting her head and biting her lip before she giggles and asks, “You knew?”
“Dia…” he rolls his eyes, patting her shoulder gently. “Everyone except this dumbass knew.”
Both of them laugh, shooting a quick gaze towards Jimin who’s standing in the near distance, having moved from the earlier site to indulge in a conversation with someone Jungkook doesn’t recognise. Then, he adds, “I’m glad you’ve left it behind. You deserve happiness.”
“I just… one day realised that being childish about love and life will get me nowhere. Detaching myself from him and feeling for myself instead of for him was the first step to adulthood. That’s what I think at least,” Dia explains, rubbing her clothed thighs slowly as she sighs again.
Her words sound so mature. So different from what Jungkook feels although he has lived on his own for years, striding towards an incredible career and approaching life as it presents itself to him. But he still seems to lack full growth, understanding that the emptiness in his heart comes from nothing short but his own reluctance to just love.
“How did you know, Dia?” he asks her, eyes dropping to the ground. “That you want to marry him. That you love him and want him forever.”
She smiles at him knowingly, his mind easy to read as she thinks of her maid of honour and answers, “I think… love isn’t always something that comes suddenly. Most of the time, you feel it gradually. In the little things someone does and in the sweet words they say to you. Small experiences in life like late night talks and going for walks, finding out about their hobbies and… philosophies.”
He thinks back to the things he’s learned from you. Then remembers the exact same conversation from five years ago when you’d laid in his embrace, telling and explaining to him that love grew in small things. Settling down and wanting someone showcased itself in situations that were not as big as travelling enormous cities but were mundane, almost basic.
“At some point you just know,” Dia continues further, placing a warm hand on his arm, “and when you know, you have to do something about it. You really should, Jungkook.”
Jungkook’s mind grows dizzy as the realisation dawns on him, eyes closing for a moment as an image of you flashes by. He sees your lovely smile, moles at the right places that he’s stared at way too often, loving them dearly. The picture of your face and the memory of your laugh tickles his heart cruelly, heat rising in his chest as he takes a deep breath.
And more he doesn’t need.
With a kiss that he presses onto Dia’s hair, he walks away, fast steps seeking your form but not succeeding until he arrives at the exact same stairs by the river he first talked to you on when he came here. You’re looking into the dark distance again, hair tucked behind your ear as always as you smile at nothing.
“Y/N,” is all he whispers, and you turn around with a breathtaking expression on your face, warm and welcoming, homely and loving.
“Hey, Kook.”
He steps closer slowly, swallowing the nervous knot in his throat and chest heaving as he begins, “I need to tell you so-”
Before he can speak on, a stranger’s voice interrupts the late night moment between you, long fingers carrying two beer bottles as he hands you one. He’s grinning down at you the way Jungkook always does, mumbling something under his breath that Jungkook succeeds to blend out effectively.
He doesn’t care what the man is saying to you as he queries, “Who’s that?”
When you detect the uneasiness in his voice and face, you’re quick to introduce, “Um, this is… Seokjin. Seokjin, this is Jungkook.”
The man - Seokjin - looks at Jungkook with a sweet smile, the handsome grin adorning his face piercing Jungkook’s heart. He knows you probably like the genuinity and handsomeness in it. He wonders if you missed him when you agreed to drink with Seokjin, someone Jungkook has never heard of.
“Hi,” Seokjin says, coming closer and offering his hand as a greeting, “nice to meet you, Jungkook.”
“Leave.”
That one single word breaks the comfort of the night like a mirror, the echo of shattered shards resounding in your and Seokjin’s ears as you stare in shock.
“What?” you ask, standing from the stairs as you approach Jungkook’s frozen form.
“I want him to leave.”
Seokjin’s eyes grow wide as Jungkook’s words seep in; and then he scoffs, full lips forming a smirk as he begins, “Excuse me, who are you to-”
“Her boyfriend,” Jungkook shoots without hesitation, “I’m her boyfriend, okay? Now leave.”
Your mouth falls open, and you twirl around in panic as you apologise to Seokjin, head shaking and fury filling your chest. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sorry… honestly, I don’t know what…”
But Seokjin nods and raises his hands to assure you that it’s okay, leaving you and Jungkook alone. You turn to the latter with a glare angry enough to faze him on other days; right now, however, Jungkook doesn’t care, thoughts of rejection and disappointment crowding and clouding his mind.
“You’re not my boyfriend. What the fuck did you just do?”
“But he is?”
He looks almost delirious, and your fury continues to grow as you try to understand, attempting to walk into his mind to see what he’s thinking right now. “What’s going on with you?” you ask instead, “Go and apologise to him, Jungkook.”
A scoff irritates you further, words accompanying his foolishness when he confesses, “I’d rather go and give him another piece of my mind.”
“You’re… fucking crazy,” you declare, feet moving on their own accord as you pass by him.
But he’s quick to pull you back by your arm again, voice soft but eyes pained. “The guy who sent you that message the other day. That was him, right?”
You free yourself from his grip, clenching your teeth as you hiss through them, “Yes, it was Seokjin. So what?”
“Are you in love with him?” You nearly laugh at his words, your heart aching as you realise that this can’t be happening - not coming from the boy you’ve given all your affection to and seemingly only receiving table scraps in comparison. “Are you?”
“Why do you care?”
“I do care!” he exclaims, making you flinch slightly as he steps closer. “I want him to be gone. Don’t go back to him.”
“I… Why no-”
“Because I want you to spend all your time with me. Me, not him or anyone else,” he admits, interrupting you once again as he sees your eyes fill with tears steadily.
He was an idiot to think that he’d been obvious enough for you to notice. Even back then, he thought you’d understood better what he felt for you than he did, and if it hasn’t become crystal clear to you in the last few days, he’ll have to say the right thing to make you understand some way or another.
But before he can, you break his heart further, if only for a second.
“I can’t! I just can’t spend more time with you anymore, and that’s exactly why I was here and ready to drink with him. He’s a damn friend, Jungkook!”
You dig your nails in your palms, most likely already forming crescent moons that resemble the one above your head. He looks back at you in further confusion, lower lip pouting slightly as he asks, “He’s not your boyfriend?”
You sigh in deep frustration, gulping down sobs as you cry out, “No! Why don’t you understand that being with you is fucking difficult, because if I spend one more second with you, I’ll just…”
Stopping mid-sentence, you let out a silent sob, one singular tear running down your cheek freely when he prods, “You’ll… what?”
And then, you gather courage, take a deep, shaky breath, tired of holding everything in for five damn years as you finally confess, “I’ll fall in love with you. Again.”
If anyhow possible, Jungkook’s doe eyes extend further, nearly popping out of their sockets as his mouth runs dry. His head spins for only a moment before he finds his grip on himself again, inching closer to you.
“And you won’t fall in love with me,” you then say, your brittle voice losing its volume as you add weakly, “again.”
What a stupid thought of you.
Not falling for you had seemed like an impossible task when he’d first noticed you on the railway station all those years ago. When you’d stared at him in hope, holding onto his words when you’d felt surrounded by people who didn’t fit your personality.
Every smile you gave him, kindness and gentleness filling his body with each twitch of your lips - you aren’t seriously thinking none of these things affected him… right?
He doesn’t know how to utter the words you want to hear just yet. His mind is still trapped in insecurity and doubt, confused but hopeful and utterly crazy, so entirely crazy for you.
There’s one last step that’s needed to close the torturous distance between you and him, and Jungkook doesn’t hesitate this time as a soft palm cradles your face to your complete surprise.
“Jungk-”
You want to ask him what he’s doing and why he’s doing it, but he doesn’t give you a chance as his eyes wander to your lips and lock them with his own in the very next moment. You feel your whole body tense under his touch, keeping your eyes open for a second too long until you give in to his hot breath and tender kiss.
His other arm pulls you into him, hand resting on the small of your back as he moves his lips against yours cautiously. Under his utmost care, you feel like you belong to him, the seemingly infinite wait coming to its end as you finally realise what’s happening and gasp quietly.
He kisses you for a few heartbeats longer, your tongues never touching and keeping the moment tender and you vulnerable before leaving your mouth in dizziness.
Jungkook stays silent. Looks at you with hurt and affection, guilt and fondness. His hands remain on you, breaths fanning your face as he keeps holding you, time and your bodies standing still as you hear the river water flow peacefully.
It takes a moment until he gathers himself and you into a full piece again, taking your hand in his and leading you to his room in a blur and tranquility.
And with the weakness you harbour for him deep inside you, you readily follow along.
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There’s a distance between Jungkook and you that you always feel when he graces you with his presence. Despite his touches and words, the thoughts of him being miles away never fade - and even now, with his lips brushing your shoulders from behind, the fear lingers in your chest.
You walked into his dark room a few seconds ago first, memories coming back steadily before you realised that history was repeating itself. Only now, intimacy doesn’t come as a surprise, your hypnotised self deciphering that he’s dragged you here for just that. And this time, you’re both sober too, your mind fully clear and aware of what you’re getting yourself into.
You let out a sigh as his palms run along your arms pleasantly. The mouth ghosting over your skin leans down to press a small kiss against your neck, your mind already spiraling around how this night might evolve.
“Y/N,” he whispers as his fingers find the zipper of your dress, slowly and sensually pulling it down. He rids your shoulders off the fabric, baring parts of your body as he adds, “Can you say it again?”
“Say what?” you ask breathily, taking a step back and pressing yourself against him. He welcomes you in his arms instantly as he wraps them around your stomach, head leaning down to suckle at the spot under your ear for a moment before he answers.
“What you feel for me… please…”
Heat warms your face as you hear his plea, moaning when he finds his place in your neck again as you confess once more, “I’m… in love with you.”
“You promise?”
“Yes…” you whisper, feeling his heartbeat fasten against your naked back as he gives your body a squeeze. With a swift motion, he turns you around, hand cradling your head right away and sighing as his eyes thick with lust and affection stare into your soul.
You think he’s looking for something in your gaze before he lights up a moment later, pulling you flush against him as his lips meet yours in a hot, intense kiss. As you hum into his mouth, his hands explore the skin of your back, running them up and down as he finally pushes his tongue through the seam of your lips.
Kissing him now feels different than five years ago when you’d given in to each other in the heat of the moment, not knowing about the other’s feelings as you dove head first into the fervent night you experienced together. You’re still not entirely sure what he feels for you - or phrased differently: you still have no clue whether he loves you as well or not.
But what you do interpret from the look in his eyes and his tender touches is that there’s for sure at least something. Infatuation. A crush. Growing love. You know there’s not nothing or else he wouldn’t bring you to his room right after your confession to find you bare-skinned again.
And as if on cue, he pulls back from your mouth, his expression growing wilder as he admits, “How are you still doubting what I feel for you? It’s always so… damn easy to fall for you.”
There.
Maybe not the ‘I love you’ that you expected, but something that confirms your thoughts nevertheless. You want to ask him if he loves you the way you love him - but then, fear races through your mind: what if he backs away and stops all of this because of your awkwardness? What if the seething touches stop as soon as you urge him into confessing something he might not feel just yet?
For now, you want any type of consolation, even if it’s fleeting; even if it’s not as strong as what rushes through your body like a river.
You unbutton the maroon shirt that adorns his lean body as his eyes follow his finger running down your arm. He’s as lost in the warmth of your flesh as you are in his torso, his chest rising and falling fast but steadily. The lines of his muscles and the flex of his bicep have the same effect on you as they did years ago, your surroundings fading and blurring as you concentrate on the sight in front of you.
Soft fingertips trace his skin, leaving a burning trail along the veins of his arms and his hardened nipples. His appearance appeals to you enough to become oblivious to the fact that he’s staring at you, watching your lips part and mind drift off with pride and fondness.
It takes you a moment to realise that he’s gone silent and stopped his movements, and when you find him gazing at you, you remove your hand as if his scalding skin has boiled your fingers. You want to ask why he’s looking at you like that, your form backing away just a little - but he grabs your wrist mid-air, free fingers coming up to lift your face.
“I want you,” he declares quietly, leaning in to kiss your cheek repeatedly, “I’ve wanted you for so long now.”
You sigh when he bites your earlobe gently, his hand still wrapped around your wrist and your fingers digging into your palm. As you walk a few steps backwards, he follows, ready to see you fall onto the mattress before you manipulate the game and twirl you both around.
Knowing that he might try to find his dominance again, you hurry to push him back, straddling him instantly as you begin to work on his belt and his pants. Your clothed core moves along his thighs slowly, the sight of his thick and strong legs turning you on enough to seek any kind of friction for the time he’s not fully naked.
“I’m right here,” you assure him, undressing him torturously slowly as you cup his bulge over his revealed underwear. “If you want me, take me for as long as you want.”
“Don’t tell me that.” Jungkook is panting, impatience glazing his eyes and never leaving yours. “Or I might just never leave.”
Isn’t that the point? You don’t want him to leave - not now, not ever.
Excitement floods you when you finally pull his underwear down, the last intruding piece of clothing hiding what you’re craving so badly. Your blood boils and the knot in the pit of your stomach tightens as his cock springs out and points to the ceiling in the proud length and thickness you still remember. No matter how many men you hop into bed with, nothing will ever compare to the drool that collects in your mouth when you see Jungkook in his bare and enticing glory.
“Why are you staring like that?” he asks, words clipped and overlapping as he places his palms on your thighs.
“I just…” you start, licking your lips and moving down his body further, “really wanted to do this back then.”
“Fuck, don’t… say it like that…”
He’s right. Why say anything if you can show him instead?
One hand wraps around his cock before you start pumping, squeezing out more pre-cum that shimmers at the head, the involuntary twitches of his length screaming at you to take him into your mouth desperately. You want to tease him; want to edge him until he begs - but as impatience brews inside you as much as inside of him, you lean down slowly.
Shaping your lips into an O, you place them on his tip, tongue collecting the leaking arousal and toying with the delicate skin of his cock. He writhes and moans, hand immediately burying in your shoulder just tightly enough for you to let out a small hiss.
“Sorry,” he apologises with an airy voice, eyes hooded and lips parted, looking down at you like he can’t believe you’re actually and undoubtedly here. “You’re too fucking good.”
You shake your head to indicate that you're okay before you keep twirling your tongue around the crown, lapping up his cum before it can escape his slit; slow, tender, salacious movements that drive him hysterical. He lets out louder moans than before, huffing when you lick at a specifically sensitive spot, calling out your name over and over again when you decide to run your tongue along his protruding veins.
Five years ago you didn’t have the chance to gape at his cock attentively enough, but now that his tip is hitting the constricting back of your throat, you make sure to memorise each inch of his member. You look up at him and bask in the gaze he throws at you, concentrating hard to look at you while his insides burn and urge him to throw his head back and face the ceiling.
“Perfect, Y/N, this is fucking perfect,” he confirms after a while, hips unconsciously moving up and fucking your throat. You gag slightly when the tip of his head hits the back of your throat, reminding you yet again how big he is.
You hum and moan around him, whining just a little when he grabs your hair into a ponytail and tugs at it lightly. Placing your hand on his trembling thigh, you relish in the knowledge that it’s you who’s affecting him like this, that he’s going haywire because you’re doing something he finds good enough to let out these low, breathy, husky sounds.
Your lungs scream for air desperately, and you think you can’t go further for much longer when his grip around your hair tightens and wrenches your head back. You let out a small scream, looking up at his face from your spot and watching him upright himself. He mends the pain on your scalp by massaging it with soothing fingers, pulling you up and kissing you almost innocently.
Innocently - that is, until he grows tired of chaste kisses and touches again, grabbing you by your waist and flipping you over on the bed with one single movement. His gaze is fucked out, uncontrolled and hazy when he looks down at you and your bouncing tits, his cock hanging right in front of your face before he taps it against your lips.
“Can you take some more, pretty?” he asks as his thumb collects his pre-cum and spreads it along his length.
You nod eagerly, ready to swallow all of his release at even a hint of his request. “I can. I told you I wanted to blow you so badly back then, too.”
Jungkook laughs at your keenness before he bites into the soft flesh of his lip, wetting your lips with your own saliva coating his cock before you open up and he slides his member in slowly. It doesn’t take long until his tip hits the back of your throat; and you have to admit that taking him while he face-fucks you ignites something in you that the previous position couldn’t.
“Good, yes… fucking… amazing,” he praises, throwing his head back as he moves his hips and his cock in and out of your demanding mouth. “Gonna give it back to you tenfold…”
With your mouth stuffed with his thickness, you can’t respond to his remark, but your thinking ability chooses to leave you anyway when he decides to thrust in harder. For a moment, he uses your lips and your tongue the way he wants to, setting the pace and moaning into the room with no end in sight.
But when you cough, he pulls back immediately, a string of your spit hanging between your mouth and his tip as he leans down to kiss your cheek again. “I’m sorry,” he whispers again, kissing your throat and waiting for you to calm down as you catch your breath, “Lost control… Sorry, baby…”
“It’s… okay,” you assure him hoarsely, brushing your fingers through his dark hair, “you didn’t have to stop.”
He gives you a gentle kiss, biting your lips lightly before he admits, “I don’t want to come yet…” Another peck. “Will you allow me?”
There’s no need to spell out what he means, your desperate self nodding wildly and making him chuckle pleasantly. “But before that…” he starts, shifting down on the bed and lips ghosting over your skin, “I need to return the favour.”
And then, he trails down your body, making you remember the last time he did the exact same thing, preparing you for his tongue in anticipation before he backed away moments after he’d begun. You let out a small laugh, causing his face to shoot up to yours right when he reaches your clit; and watching his eyebrows furrow, you ask him, “Will you really do it this time? Like for real?”
He taps your thighs as he laughs with you, softly prying your legs open further and bringing his lips closer to your sensitive nub. “You were so obedient back then. Turned into a brat now though, didn’t you?”
“I’m still obedient…” you say, closing your limbs again to provoke him further before you add, “But you like it, right? You know… me teasing you...”
The softness in his touch vanishes as he parts your thighs again, nails probably leaving marks in your flesh as he warns you, “You can try to tease, Y/N. But I don’t think you’ll win here.”
You want to annoy him further, joke around like the actual brat you’ve become around him. But he silences you by kissing your heat, tasting your sweetness as he twirls and twists his tongue inside you. Moans send vibrations through you and sloppy and lewd sounds echo as he buries his mouth in your pussy.
High-pitched mewls leave your lips, vocals resounding and music to Jungkook’s ears as he groans deeply into your sex. You know he knows what he’s doing - the way he French kisses your pussy before licking a stripe along your slit and settling on your little bundle of nerves shows how skilled he truly is.
You’re jealous of everyone he practiced this on, his tongue working towards your orgasm as he ruts his hips against the mattress for relief.
“Just a bit more, baby,” he says to you, but you can’t think, can’t answer, don’t know what he’s talking about until he slides two of his fingers inside you surprisingly. He begins slowly before his actions become rougher, mouth coming back down and tongue catching your dripping arousal.
Your walls clench around his long digits as he imagines how just that might feel around his throbbing, large cock. The pinch of your clit and his next words seem to be the last push ultimately before you gush around his fingers, “Wanna make you come again… gonna fuck you so good…”
You arch your back, letting out sounds you’ve never heard come out of you, your relief washing over your whole body as stars cover your sight blindingly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the fuck, Jungko-” you exclaim, eyes becoming teary from the overwhelming sensation and heart bursting in your chest.
In your hypnosis, you almost don’t notice when he slaps your clit lightly a few times and bites and kisses your thighs, helping you ride out your orgasm as he watches you go insane and squirm and squirt onto the sheets. A fascinated expression takes over his features, head shaking in disbelief before he remarks, “It’s your second time with me and you ruin the whole bed. Could you get any sexier?”
“Find… out…” you challenge, gripping your tits as you try to form coherent sentences. You move your head sideways, exhaustion already overcoming you as your cheek touches the relieving cold of the pillow.
“Gladly.”
Hands settling on your hips, he pulls you down on the bed a little, fingers and palm wrapping around his cock before he halts as a realisation dawns on him. “I don’t have any condoms.”
You giggle quietly; after all you’ve done, he just now notices the lack of the most crucial material in this setting - very typical of him. Hooded eyes look at him in endearment, your hand grabbing his arm and pulling him down as you say, “No need for a condom. I’m armed.”
His doe eyes widen at your statement, the thought of taking you raw tugging at his brain cells as you take in the beauty of the night in his pupils yet again. Different from what he’s been doing the last twenty minutes, his gaze is loving and soft - feels like a cozy home with a warm fireplace to soothe your soul.
The way he’s looking at you doesn’t leave a shred of doubt in you as you finally admit to yourself that he’s more fond of you than he ever intended to become. In truth, he doesn’t seem to be able to avert his eyes from you, making you feel like he’s discovered another wonder of the world that tops anything - reaching from the Eiffel Tower to the Pyramids - he’s seen until now.
As a traveller, Jungkook has captured one too many sights on his camera, but nothing ever compares to your blinding glow that never dims, even if you feel like an unreal illusion. But he doesn’t care anyway, ready to approach you with the same thirst someone in a desert runs to a mirage.
With a nod, he grabs the second pillow from beside you, an arm wrapping around you and lifting your back slightly to put the cushion under your hips. He whispers an encouraging “Okay” before he aligns his length with your longing, dripping entrance, eyes shooting up to you again as he observes your reactions.
Just like in the mountains the first time, he starts slowly, still so careful to not trouble you as he asks over and over again if he’s hurting you. As he slides in inch by inch, you keep shaking your head until he’s bottomed out and you hiss; then, he queries again with a soft palm settling on your heated cheek, “Does it hurt?”
“It… stings… but I can take it, do- don’t stop.”
You take a deep breath, trying to get used to his cock as he nods and begins to move with stagnant breaths. He watches you in fascination; entirely enchanted and intoxicated by the sight of the girl of his dreams moaning for him.
The crease between your eyebrows and parted lips make his member twitch, a silent plea to start fucking you in earnest resting on your tongue that he can hear without you uttering a single word.
And then, he listens, starting off slowly as you hum and close your eyes - he’s gentle, affectionate, kissing your shoulders and neck until your reactions aren’t enough anymore. Hand grabbing your waist, he concentrates on stopping his head from spinning, forehead glistening from the thin sheen of sweat as he tells you, “If it’s too much, let me know, okay? Because I don’t think I can hold back anymore.”
You nod understandingly, fearing yet waiting for what his warning might mean before he shifts on the bed. Repositioning and knees settling more comfortably, he exhales through his lips before he loses himself steadily and begins to pump into you harder. He’s not necessarily fast yet but buries himself to the base of his shaft, sharp and sudden thrusts accompanying his grunts as he slides in deeply.
“Jungkook, you’re so fucking insa- oh god,” you whimper and scream as he reaches the perfect spot. You look so fucked out under him; so ready to take him - and with your eyes rolling back in their sockets, he can’t help but admire the effect he has on you so profusely.
“So… unbelievable…” he breathes when you grip his arms and hold onto them, “that you can… take me this well…”
You melt to a puddle under his praises, eyes shooting open but averting his gritted teeth, clenched jaw and erotic gaze. Instead, you look at the way his bicep flexes again, sweat shining on his skin and a drop trailing down his temples.
He leans down, low moans and grunts leaving his chest and mingling with your own breathy sounds. His hands wander to your ass and grab it firmly, his nails pressing into your flesh as he lifts your torso slightly, your body half floating.
There are moments in life that seem unreal, no matter how alive they make you feel and how intense your stomach tingles. Or maybe, they feel like a dream because they make you realise how your heart beats to the rhythm of the situation, lifelines dancing to whatever euphoria something or someone brings.
With you underneath him, Jungkook feels like you’ve trapped him in the most beautiful of paradises, heaven’s light fading and flowers wilting compared to your brightness. If someone had told him that he’d have you like this, giving you all his affection like you deserve, he would’ve smirked and dismissed his conversation partner with a wave of his hand.
But you’re here, reality more palpable than ever: moaning, humming, calling his name like it’s the only word you know - the only word you want to know.
“I missed you,” he confesses as he leans down and kisses your neck and your face, “You might not be- believe me, but I missed you… all these years…”
An intimate moment during sex either brings out the truth out of people or renders them delirious, caught in the heat of the moment. Whatever it is, you bask in it, your heart melting and crying as it registers the words he just mumbled to you.
If you weren’t swimming in blissful oblivion, you’d tell him that he should’ve come back to you and called if he’d missed you. You’d beg him to stay this time and not leave again, despite knowing fully well that he surely will. If you weren’t oblivious and blissfully unaware of the truth…
“Show me,” you plead instead before you feel his teeth bite your earlobe, nibbling and sending a shiver down your spine. He moves his lips back to your neck and then your tits, deliberately leaving light bruises and marks of his teeth that have red, blaring alarms ringing in your brain.
You know you should tell him to stop - after all you’ll be serving as maid of honour in less than twenty-four hours. But then you remember the power of make-up and relax under his touch, letting his mouth suck at your skin with lewd sounds and delicious, soothing stripes of his tongue.
Noticing your pleasure, he asks, “You like that, don’t you?” And then, he bites and scratches again, inflicting the barest pain that has you writhe under his body as he fucks deeper into you, his length glistening and wet from your smooth slick. He rolls his hips as the curve of his cock hits your g-spot, the beauty of your dazed state causing his balls to tighten and his member to twitch.
But determined to not come before you, he lifts his body from yours, the sweat mixed with the cool air of the room making you tremble before he presses his thumb against your clit. For a moment, he stays like that, the rubbing just light but affecting you to the max. The fact that he keeps moaning when you do, drawing inhumane sounds out of you and welding them with his, doesn’t help you to cling to your sanity much.
Before you know it, your pussy overflows and squirts around his thick, impressive shaft yet again, sudden apologies slipping out of you as you squirm and try to wiggle out of his grip. But much to your pleasure, Jungkook doesn’t mind the mess at all; instead, he holds you into place and presses your body into the mattress further.
“Look at you, Y/N… You’re so fucking hot,” he affirms, his whole weight coming back onto yours as he loses control entirely. “How the fuck are you this hot? I’ve never…”
Jungkook stops mid-sentence, chasing his own high and knuckles growing pale as his grip around your arms tightens, probably pressing a you-formed shape into his bed. Instead of continuing, he squints his eyes shut, his gravelly voice muttering, “I’m gonna come, baby… where… where do you want me to…”
“Inside,” you interrupt, not managing more than this one word as he lets your arms go and places his on each side of your head.
Lips attaching to your neck, he cries out, “Okay… fuck, holy shit, you’re so damn tight-” And again, he stops his statements and reassurances when you clench around him on purpose, gasping and nearly crying from the sensation of his fucking and done with him dragging out his orgasm. He growls, body trembling and eyes looking deep into yours.
He wipes the hair from your face, leaning his forehead against yours as he begs, “Do that again… please.” And when you do, walls pulsating and clenching, he kisses you fervently, cock wrecking your insides until his thrusts become irregular but deep, moving your whole body up and down as he pounds into you.
And in the next moment, Jungkook gives in, coming gloriously with filthy, relieved moans, filling you up to the brim with erratic breaths. He seems to shoot his release into you endlessly, not stopping the stuttering of his hips until you’re stuffed and leaking.
Everything feels slippery by the time he is done, his golden, strong body shaking and his muscles relaxing. When you look into his starry eyes above you, arms barely holding him up, you push his damp hair back, noticing soon that he’s, for some reason, not pulling out.
“What’s wrong?” you ask when you detect the melancholy in his eyes, something about his gaze revealing that there’s an emotion and thought floating in his heart that he wants you to know - but not just yet. Then again, you feel like you can already anticipate what he wants or does not want to tell you.
He shakes his head slowly, keeping his thoughts to himself for now and smirking at you as he kisses your lips briefly before he says, “I told you you’re a beast. You gorgeous girl.”
A far away picture of a memory shoots into your mind, a conversation like this happening before in a similar context. “God, Jungkook…” you say, slapping his chest playfully, “the things you remember.”
He laughs with small crinkles around his eyes and a scrunched up nose, a soft, sweet chuckle before he tilts his head and states, “No, I just… want to stay like this for a while. Feel you for a bit longer.” For some reason, he feels connected with you like this somehow.
Kissing and making out with you some more, you take in the warmth and devotion he emanates, just now truly realising that he doesn’t just want your body but you as a whole; actually, really, undoubtedly you in your entirety. With his length still inside, your walls pulsate and your pulse accelerates as you feel him grow hard again eventually.
Without slipping out, he turns you both around, falling on his back with you on top of him as he asks with a twitching cock, “Can I?”
You lean down to press multiple kisses on his plush, swollen lips, wanting to know teasingly, “You still haven’t had enough, huh?”
“Have you?”
“I don’t think… I’ll ever tire of being fucked by you.”
He smiles and bites his lip, pupils dilating and shaking as he takes in every mole and curve of your features. “You’re so, so beautiful.” And with this one statement, you feel his cock standing in full length again, stuffing every inch of your cunt as he pulls you flush against his body and thrusts into you once… twice… thrice...
“You’ll never tire of getting fucked by me, hm?” Heat creeps back into your face as you whimper in pleasure and oversensitivity, fingers clutching the sheets underneath when he raises an eyebrow and adds, “Go on then.”
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When you wake up the next day, it feels like time is rewinding and repeating itself.
The warmth of his strong arms engulfs you all morning long, eyes still heavy and drooping as he watches you intently and with unleashed affection. Only this time, he doesn’t hold back and kisses your face at every empty spot, relishing in your giggles and touches as he holds you close to his chest and closer to his heart.
Today, you don’t take a walk at the ass crack of dawn. Instead, you sit up on his hotel bed and settle between his legs, listening to his soft hums and words as he narrates the adventures he’s experienced in the years without you.
First, he shares the stories he’s heard, ranging from chaotic nightlife fantasies to emotional tales he couldn’t have imagined possible in his wildest dreams. The way he speaks about the world outside your cute, little cubicle, sounds like a dream, too. Something you’d like to experience with him one day, seeing the beauty of your planet not just through his but through your own eyes.
Soon, he grabs his phone, conversations about waterfalls visualising in the form of pictures in his gallery that he swipes through slowly. Most of the time, you come back to a photo again, inquiring more details about his travels that he’s more than happy to provide.
“And this is in Croatia. Near Split. Magnificent in its whole glory…” he tells you, wrapping his arms a little tighter around you and pulling your back closer against his lean torso. He feels so lovely, homely, your body fitting perfectly in his embrace like a key in its lock.
Jungkook kisses your neck gently, butterfly pecks sending a cold shiver down your spine under the oversized shirt you’ve claimed from him, way too big even for him. His breath fans your skin hotly, his deep voice whispering with sentiment, “Not as pretty as you, though.”
You laugh at his words before he lifts his head from your neck again, continuing his stories about canyons, deserts and oceans enthusiastically. At some point, you start to invent your own interpretations of what the pictures on his phone make you believe, causing him to chuckle about made-up stories about Aladdin and Atlantis until his real experiences are long forgotten.
Somehow, you feel like the bigger adventure to him despite having seen and heard so much that other people never would. And the way you try your hardest to make him smile and laugh with stupid yet endearing stories has his heart floating above the clouds, ascending further and further until he’s sure it must have landed in front of the gates of heaven safely.
And suddenly-
“I love you.”
He says it when you’re analysing the sunrise on the picture in front of you.
He says it as a quiet, timid whisper that you almost miss.
He says it with genuinity in his voice, sugar dripping from his tongue and his touch feather light on your hands - and he says it again.
“I love you, Y/N.”
Jungkook crosses his arms over your chest, his phone falling into your lap as he kisses you again, this time on your cheek and your temple. A soft, harmless moan leaves your lips as your brain processes what he’s just told you, thoughts whirring wildly and trying meanly to convince you that this… all of this might not be reality.
Maybe you shouldn’t be as surprised as you are after your confession last night and his reaction to it, and yet, your mind and heart refuse to comprehend anything other than the assumption that you must be trapped in an illusion for sure.
But then, he speaks again, words turning sparks and flames into a wildfire you can’t and don’t want to extinguish anymore.
“You once told me love can happen multiple times. But I can’t remember ever loving anyone but you.” Jungkook’s eyes unknowingly settle on the same spot as yours, your mouth agape as your breathing becomes heavier.
For ages, you’d imagined what it would feel like if he ever uttered a revelation like this to you, heart always falling victim to imagined situations and trapping you inside your mind for longer than you wanted to. But now that it’s happening, you’re confused.
Because you do love him. You’ve always loved him - no one else but him.
He, whose eyes have resumed twinkling in your company. He, who makes you feel like you’re the only artwork in the world that’s worthy enough to admire for ages. He, who left you to chase his dreams. And with a burning ache, you realise that now, he will do it again.
You’re withering. Here in his tight hug, caged between his words, you’re withering like an unwatered rose, hoping that love can be preserved and stay at least this time. But you’re not sure that it will.
Sounds come to a halt and the ballads stop playing in your head, the room drenched in heavy thickness as the pink-tinted love glasses fall off your nose.
“Bunny…” you start, feeling his heart thump against you, thump for you, increasing your pain, “loving someone is a start. Do you know what happens after?”
Jungkook pauses for a moment, unsure what you’re going to say; but he asks anyway, “What happens after?”
You take in a shaky breath as you feel your waterline grow damp, fingers of one hand wrapping around his and clutching them tightly, “It gets hard to hold onto these three words. And I’m…”
You wait, turning your head and body slightly to look into his forlorn eyes, confusion and fear written clearly in them. “I’m a simple person who wants a simple life. And... you’re not wrong, just… very different from me.”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” he then says suddenly, his hand grabbing your free wrist and pulling you closer into him.
“You need to let go,” you tell him, looking down at your arm but not sure if that’s what you really mean.
He shakes his head in rejection, gaze filling with more and more fright, trying to shut out your voice to not hear what you’re attempting to say. “I can’t. I don’t want to let you go.”
“Then don’t go to Paris,” you beg, a blink of your eyes letting the expected tears loose before they trail down your heated cheeks. For a moment, he wonders how you know; but then he remembers telling Dia about it - of course she’d tell you, too. “The job you’ve wanted for years? All that travelling? Don’t do it. Because I can’t come with you.”
He knows you don’t mean it. Sees in your eyes that you’re not being sarcastic or manipulative - only serving bitter facts as breakfast as you try to explain to him why this might end just the way it did five years ago.
“Everything’s here for me. My parents, the hospital...” You list only a few of the thousand known reasons again, heart falling and mind spiraling. But then, you smile a little, bringing your face close to his as you cradle his face. Jungkook doesn’t talk - only listens to you, trying so hard to come up with a solution that reluctantly avoids blessing his mind, no matter how profoundly he pleads.
“I want you to come here and visit me twice a year. Oh and… don’t you start anything with anyone over there, okay?” you continue, watching him smile at your words slightly before his lips fall again.
“Y/N…”
“It’s okay,” you say, brushing your lips against his as you shift closer to his body. “I know your dreams. I understand that you want to pursue them first. You’ll just come back to me a few years later, right? And I’ll wait for you.”
His eyes fill with the same agonised tears as yours, the mole under his lower lip becoming visible as he bites into the soft flesh gently. Despite not knowing how to argue against your logic that is undoubtedly his own, too, he kisses you. Moves his mouth on yours slowly, your tears mixing and its saltiness finding its way between your lips.
When he pulls back, he beseeches, “Don’t go. All of this… feels too good.”
You want to back away, run away as long as the pain is still fresh, eager to avoid further words and memories that you’d have to get over yet again. And this time, it would be so much harder than the last time you parted.
“That’s why I should go, Jungkook.”
But he pulls you towards him by the grip he still has around your wrist, letting go and hugging you close within a single second. He pleads, “Just a moment.”
And you give in. Hold onto him tightly until he’s ready to let you leave.
You take in the way he breathes, talks and smiles. Commit to memory how his touch feels on your skin, tingling and burning, stinging and trembling. You know you’ll remember his eyes and his words until the next time you meet; the crooked smirk he shoots you so often; the pout of his lips and the hair strands covering his eyes that he barely ever removes.
You trace your fingers along the sharp line of his jaw and the curve of his torso, the thin waist, hard muscles and golden skin reminding you of loving nights and tender touches.
He holds you tightly - and you don’t want him to let go.
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You want to get out of your maid of honour dress.
There’s no doubt that you’re happy for your friend as she walks down the aisle, embodying beauty and grace as she smiles at her groom in endearment. Your eyes, however, never seem to leave the figure seated in the first row, red-rimmed eyes staring back at you.
They’re swollen from the last hours you’d spent in his room in near silence and you imagine you wouldn’t look any different if it wasn’t for the magical power of make-up. For hours, you’d remained in a fetus position, nestled in his arms with occasional tears until your phone chimed numerous times.
It reminded you that you had duties to fulfill and a wedding week to end, but the ache that weighed heavily on your heart dragged you back into his embrace over and over again. That is, until he let go, forcing you to get dressed and leave.
Even now, you feel his touch around your body, lingering intensely and stinging profoundly. One part of you wishes you’d never told him about your feelings and kept it the way you parted five years ago.
Back then, you left him with a clear conscience, talking of and thinking about memory-filled suitcases that made you feel whole and changed. But now, watching the situation unfold brings a kind of pain into your chest that you try hard to shoo away. The eyes that look back at you, however, do not allow you to do so very easily, piercing through you as if they’re trying to tell you something.
You barely hear the vows Minhee and Dia utter to each other, only fleetingly register the priest’s words as he leads the couple to an eternal life together. Involuntarily, you imagine yourself standing there with him instead, smiling at him with tears in your eyes as you vow to stay at his side until his lungs give out.
But it’s not you, and all you can do is let your gaze wander to him over and over again, tilting your head as locks fall into your face loosely. Your eyebrows furrow as he captures his lips between his teeth, shaking his head slowly as if he’s trying to tell you to keep your emotions at bay.
And yet, tears leave a trail down your cheek anyway, your chest becoming heavy as you suppress a sob until the crowds begin to cheer.
Dia comes to hug you before attempting to run down the aisle in her heels, wrapping her arms around you as she exclaims, “I love you so, so much! All of this wouldn’t have been as perfect as it was without you, Y/N, I-”
As she backs away, she finally sees your fallen face, her expression making your lip tremble further as you tilt your head to the side and hide your eyes from her worrying gaze. It’s supposed to be a good night, a perfect night - you don’t want to ruin it for her.
“It’s okay, baby,” she comforts you, wiping away your tears with her thumbs as the myriad of guests becomes louder and waits for her to stroll past it with a radiant smile. “He’ll come back. It’s okay…”
You look over her shoulder in an attempt to memorise him further, trying to detect if he feels as strongly as you do. And when you do, he’s approaching your form, your heart pounding in your throat and threatening to burst when you realise he might be coming to you to say goodbye for one last time.
But he does none of that - and you remind yourself soon enough that this is not your day, but Dia’s, the world you worked so hard to build gravitating around her wedding. He taps her shoulder and pulls her in for a tight hug, mumbling something that you blend out but makes her laugh effectively.
And then, he moves to Minhee, your fingers twitching every time you think he might press you into him just as close. His voice is silvery, modulated, breaking you further and differing so much from his usual tone as he threatens, “Take care of her, okay? I’ll break your bones if you don’t.”
The loud groom responds with an overly excited hug, thanking Jungkook over and over again for coming and gracing him with his presence.
You reckon he’s already bid goodbye to Jimin.
Because when Minhee lets his body go, Jungkook shoots you one last loving, infinitely sad and affectionate look. Starry doe eyes harbour the love he has to leave you with, and they say more than two weeks of back then and now combined ever could.
You tell yourself that it’s enough to know that he feels all that for you at all, pain striking and unbearable just like yours. But common misery does not soothe yours, and it only grows incessantly when he lowers his eyes, turns around and walks towards the big entrance.
No last words and no last touch, nothing.
If you could see him right now, you’d see tears falling to the ground. You’d recognise forceful steps, urging him to walk back to you and take you with him.
And if you could peek inside him, you’d see a heart shattering and falling.
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The airport is empty late at night.
Jungkook’s mind keeps drifting back to the party that’s probably still going on in the wedding hall, and he wonders how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking and who you’re talking to. He wants to know if Seokjin has approached and distracted you again.
He leans back in his seat, watching people walk by and sip on their coffees to stay awake as long boarding doesn’t start. The moment reminds him of a younger version of him, sitting right at this airport across from him.
One eye blink later, he sees himself, a blond, adventurous boy looking forward nervously to his studies and what life had in store for him. With pictures of his past, memories of a distant yesterday flood his mind as well, him standing in the living room and glancing at his father silently.
He’d stared at the picture of his late wife in awe, still admiring her beauty after all these years without her and not noticing that his son was waiting for his blessings for one last time before he left.
“Dad,” Jungkook said, pulling the man out of his daze, “I’ve to go.”
His father nodded slowly, clutching the chair in front of him, “Yes. Yeah, you’re right.”
Jungkook noticed the sadness in his eyes, head drooping and mind obviously occupied with something he wasn’t saying. “What’s wrong, Dad?”
“Hm?” His head lifted to look at his son, biting his lips before he continued, “It’ll just be so empty here. Even more so than before.”
Jungkook shifted from one leg to another, heart dropping at the sight of his good hearted father as he suggested, “Do you want me to stay?”
The man in front of him laughed breathily, tummy shaking as he stepped closer to Jungkook and placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’d do that for me?”
“Of course.” Jungkook was sure he’d do anything for his good, old man, but the prospect of staying here after fighting for his dream for so long was undoubtedly unsettling, too.
“Alright. Stay then.”
A short silence followed his words, and Jungkook was close to inquiring if he actually meant it, actually wanted him to give up his life ahead to stay here. Instead of asking all of these things, however, he mumbled a small, hushed, “Okay.”
His father smiled at him with all the love he could muster, smacking his lips before he pushed his son to the door gently.
“The fact that you’re ready to stay is enough for me. Now go and get what your heart desires. Just remember that no matter what choices you make, I’ll support you, okay? As long as you do what you think is right for you.” He took a deep breath as he committed Jungkook’s appearance and smile to memory. Then, he added, “Don’t forget. Should you ever doubt a decision, it’s probably the wrong one.”
As Jungkook snaps out of his daydream, an instant realisation dawns on him. Several voices scream at him to listen to his father’s past words, a soft voice reminding him that a future is only a successful one when you’re looking forward to where you’re headed.
Strangely, the boy from back then had wanted nothing but to see the world - this and nothing further. But for the love of everything, that excitement does not resonate within him anymore.
Not when the definition of living his dream has changed; not when the face of his dream itself has changed.
Because when he thinks of his future, it consists of your eyes staring back at him and your soft palm in his. The world has shifted and so have his goals, all inhibitions of him leaving pointing at you.
And with a final push, Jungkook realises that time stops for no one.
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The ring of your doorbell shakes your dog awake from his slumber, your hand petting his head shooting up in surprise before you place the wine glass on your table.
You don’t expect anyone this late - and not at this time of the year. You know that Dia and Minhee are probably on their way to the airport, approaching their honeymoon vacation with thrilled hearts. Jimin is working towards his bar again, working out details before you can go and visit him on the grand reopening night.
In that case, you’re even more surprised when you open the door and are met with an everglowing Jungkook, holding flowers in one hand and a champagne bottle in the other. He shoots you an enormous smile, greeting you as if you’ve met just yesterday before he steps in and pecks your lips with his briefly.
You watch him walk towards your couch table, placing the things he brought with him onto it as your mind screams at you to snap out of your trance. And when you do, you ask, “What are you doing here?”
You haven’t seen him since the wedding. While it has barely been a week, time seemed to pass slowly these days, his absence clearly affecting you more than you wanted it to. And now he is back, strolling around your living room as if the clock didn’t tick for him torturously the way it did for you.
“I’m spending New Year’s Eve with you.” He shrugs his shoulders, a confused look plastering his features before he walks to you, grabs your hand and pulls you to the couch. He grabs your hand in his, looking at you carefully as he watches your eyes grow wet.
“Where were you this whole time?” you ask slowly, reckoning that he either left France very quickly after his arrival or never even stepped foot there at all.
“I was at home. With Mom.”
“And Paris?” you mumble, your free hand freeing his eyes from his hair.
“Cancelled.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
You’re still skeptical but smile. You shouldn’t be happy about this - a fleeting feeling of guilt does course your body hotly, but you’re still happier than you should be.
“So you’re really not going?” He shakes his head at your question and you add, “Why?”
His eyes fall down to where your fingers connect, one leg nervously shaking and his voice timid and quiet. “There’s a time for everything, Y/N. And Paris just wasn’t calling me right now.”
“So you just said no?”
“I said no… for now. I still have a job and I’m good at it. I’m sure they’ll postpone this for me, so I can host the show at a later point,” he explains to you, raising your knuckles to his face and brushing his lips against them softly.
But you start to feel worried, gulping and holding back tears as you repeat the words he’s uttered to you a million times, “But Paris was your dream. Having your own show? I-”
“I said no, so I can make you say yes.”
You stare at him in confusion as you furrow your eyebrows, watching him fumble with the inside pockets of his jacket. What he fishes out has your eyes almost fall out of your sockets, mouth gaping open before you let out a light gasp involuntarily.
Right in front of you, a dark ring box rests in his palm, and he hands it to you, observing your reaction carefully. A small question slips from your tongue as your shaky fingers grab the box, chest constricting and tears escaping finally.
But when you open the box, your eyes meet the content consisting of a single toffee, a breath you were holding falling out of your lungs. You glare at him, half in annoyance and half in amusement, throwing the box back at him and standing to walk away in played anger.
“No, wait,” he exclaims, grabbing you by your wrist. And before you can fully turn around, he’s put an actual ring on your finger, hugging your digit perfectly and glittering shimmery in the warm light of your living room. “Marry me, please?”
You shake your head in disbelief, bringing your hand close to your face. “You’ve gone crazy, Bunny, you…” As you squint at the ring, you raise an eyebrow again, showing him your hand as you ask, “A fake ring, Jungkook?”
“But my love is real, babe!”
His defensive doe eyes are large and beaming with feigned innocence before he grimaces apologetically. “I didn’t have the time to buy a real one. I’m sorry…”
You’re close to saying yes. Even after the short time you spent together, you want to give in and fall into his embrace, uttering yes a hundred times and that there’s nothing more that you want than to have him here with you forever.
But then, your different dreams dawn on you and you feel fear flood your body again, body retracting as your steps carry you to your balcony. You know he’s following you; you can hear his voice calling your name and his feet nearly sprinting behind you.
There are still a thousand reasons why all of this is scaring you. The same old ones you’d gathered and recognised five years ago, repeating in your mind once again as you let out a deep breath.
“Y/N, I-”
“Jungkook, you’ll run away again,” you tell him, so sure that his love for you can’t be bigger than what he wants in his career.
He shrugs again, laughing lightly and stepping closer. “Then you’ll bring me back!”
“So you’ll… actually run away?” Your voice is squeaky and embarrassed, mind whirring as he smiles at you in amusement.
“God, don’t worry, I won’t be going anywhere, okay?”
“But!” you exclaim, fighting your brain as it urges you to argue against this marriage. Idiot. You should want it. You do want it. But what if you’re holding him back? “Porridge for fifty years. Are you ready for that?”
Jungkook laughs in fear, approaching you further as his eyes gaze at the fairy lights on your balcony for a second. “Are you already trying to scare me? Come on, Y/N, give it a try.”
“Try? You can’t try marriage, Jungkook, seriously, this…”
He sighs in frustration, eyes rolling as he explains, “You know I didn’t mean it like this, I’m just new to… you know… this.”
“I just- Why do you want to marry me?”
“Because you’ve trapped me, Y/N! You’ve made me lose my mind,” he explains to you, grabbing your hand into his again. “I’m still dreaming of the same things but with two tickets in my hand. I want to see and experience the world but with you! Travel and be a journalist and take you to places you’ve never seen, see every corner but while holding your hand.”
Your lips twitch as you take in his words, heart thumping at an insane rate against your ribcage as you shift from one leg to another. Jungkook leans down, wrapping his palm around your hand tighter as he presses a kiss against your forehead.
You feel his breath fan against your skin, the cold December air eliciting goosebumps on your arms when he continues, “Listen, Y/N. Time doesn’t stop for anyone. Before we know it, we’re in our graves… and I just don’t want to die before spending this time with you. Okay?”
Still speechless, you stare at his figure, questioning whether this is a dream or reality, gazing into his sparkling sky eyes as he pours his heart out to you.
“I want to be happy with you. Not regret leaving you behind… and you know, the little things you talked about? I want them… want to hold your hair when you get sick… want to cook and bake and giggle about dumb shit with you. A-and I want to experience the big things, too. I want kids with you and watch you walk around with a big belly and massage your feet.”
You let out a shaky chuckle, tears flowing freely by now and leaving a freezing trail on your face. “I don’t know, Y/N, I’m really trying to work towards love here. Don’t make love work against us now.”
You sniffle, giving him your prettiest smile as he melts right in front of you. The man who used to abhor love and settling down; the one who’d sworn he’d never put himself into the jail called marriage, ever.
“Is that honestly what you want?” you ask him again, your tone shy, sweet and quiet.
“I swear I do. And in my head we’re already married, you know?” he rambles, stumbling over his own words nervously. “So marry me for real now.”
You wait as you let his request sink in, lips sealed and mind shooting around various answers until you decide to just stay silent. But Jungkook is having none of it.
“Can you please say something?” he pleads, panic becoming apparent in his eyes. “I gave a huge speech, at least applau-”
You interrupt his words by attacking his lips with yours, making him stumble two steps backwards before he reciprocates the kiss. In an instant, you melt with him, molding your bodies together and relishing in the taste you know you’ll be able to indulge in for the rest of your life.
His arms wrap around your body as they did just a week prior; only now, the touch doesn’t feel transient and like a tentative goodbye anymore, but indicates a new beginning and a friendly welcome instead.
From the streets, you hear someone cheer. For a second, you almost think you’re standing in their visible vision until you realise that it’s New Year’s Eve and people are most likely gathering outside now to celebrate and watch the fireworks.
You back away from his warm, pillowy lips slowly, eyelids fluttering open only gradually until you’re looking back at him, his pupils shaking and struggling to find a spot on your face to settle on. And then, you tell him once again, “You carry stars in your eyes.”
Jungkook laughs and you with him, his hands squeezing your sides until you let out a giggle from the tingle his touch causes. “I carry you in my eyes,” he says, giving your cheek a quick, chaste peck, trailing down your face with kisses until he nuzzles his nose into your neck and adds, “I love you.”
“And I you,” you answer, starting a chain of infinite I love you’s that you will never tire of throwing at him; starting today and extending into forever.
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The night might be cold, but the blanket wrapped around you both and the aftermath of the last fifty minutes keep your body warm.
You still feel the ghost of his eager touches on your legs and torso, skin burning wherever he left his marks. And now, with three minutes left till midnight, his palm is soothing the same bruises he inflicted, kissing your neck softly from where he’s settled behind you on the garden chair.
Your fingers clutch both of your phones, rings chiming through the speakers as you wait for your friends to pick up. The first one to do so is Dia, a wild bustling accompanying her greetings as you press the phone against your ear.
And Jimin, too, answers soon, your hasty gestures urging Jungkook to grab his device and speak into the mic.
“Yeah, hi!” Dia nearly yells into your ear, and you think you can hear Minhee’s voice exclaim something behind her, too. “It’s really loud at the airport for some reason, so speak loudly and clearly, okay?”
You laugh while Jungkook asks Jimin how he’s doing, your face twisting to look at your fiancé before you nod. And he understands, both of you putting your friends on loudspeaker as their voices mingle.
For a moment, they keep talking, but soon, they register the presence of a familiar voice and silence. Jimin is the first one to ask, “Dia?”
“Jimin?” she inquires back; even from here, you can imagine her halting her movements and raising one eyebrow as she always does when she’s confused.
You yell an excited hello into the phones and you hear both of them gasp in surprise as questions flood in, especially when Jungkook joins the conversation as well.
“Y/N, you’re with Jimin? And is that Jungkook?”
“No, Dia, she’s not here. I’m in the bar… but if she’s neither with you nor me, then…”
“Jungkook, where the fuck are you?”
You both giggle, Jungkook’s arm tightening around your torso as he looks at you in amusement. Then, he sing-songs, “Well, guess what…”
The screeching that follows from Dia’s side has you and Jungkook hissing and grimacing, screams from the streets growing further and louder as you feel the seconds tick by. The clock on your phone shows 11:59 PM, which means that only a few moments are left.
“I fucking knew it!”
“You guys are the most complicated pair ever!” Jimin laughs, glasses clinking in the background as you assume that he’s spending the night with other friends in his developing bar.
You nod affirmatively, shooting Jungkook a telling look that indicates that yes, we are complicated, because you had to leave... seriously.
“I’m so happy for you, you idiots and morons and…” Some more curses fall out of Dia’s mouth, Minhee beside her cheering after supposedly taking in the news.
“Y/N’s balcony is cold, you guys,” Jungkook tells them with a slight shiver, eliciting more excited screams out of your friends before you interrupt.
“People are counting!” you say, starting the countdown along with the man behind you and your friends before the world erupts into chaos.
Cheers and yells sound from everywhere, people from the balconies next to you waving at you and wishing you a happy new year that you chime back with a light heart.
More congratulations follow, fireworks shooting up to the dark night sky and exploding in various different colours above you. As you look at Jungkook, the noise around you silences for just a bit, his eyes staring at your breathtaking smile as he wishes, “Happy new year, baby.”
He captures your lips in another intoxicating kiss while Dia and Jimin still converse in the most tumultuous way. And when he backs away, he realises with his heart glowing in his eyes and love blooming in his chest that yes, now he’s finally where he truly wants to be.
Because even if life gave you hundreds of reasons to stop fighting, your name gives a thousand reasons why he must endure; love, fight… and stay.
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if you actually finished this, then i’m eternally thankful and appreciate the heck out of you !!! this was a beast to write and took all of my energy :’D so if you liked it, please please support me by liking, reblogging/reviewing and sending me an ask (about the story, characters, questions or just to chat) !!
i’m dying to know what you guys think/what questions you have and feedback goes a long, long way <3
2K notes · View notes
sparklingchim · 3 months ago
Text
naughty pictures; m | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 6k
rating: 18+
genre: smut, established relationship, idol!au
warnings: nudes, throat fucking, choking, edging, possessiveness, jealousy, unprotected sex, spanking, face slapping, spit kink, dirty talk, squirting, creampie
summary: perhaps you've gone a little too far with teasing jungkook with naughty pictures of you after he was done with the concert.
a/n: this fic was never planned to happen, but i couldn't get sowoozoo jk out of my head😣😔✊ (can't tag anyone cause tumblr is a bitch rn, sorry about that :(( )
masterlist
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
y/n 9:07 pm
someone is waiting for you at home
jungkookie 9:07 pm
who??
y/n 9:08 pm
[ jpg ]
jungkookie 9:10 pm
holy shit
jungkookie 9:12pm
babe
fuck
taehyung might have seen it because he's sitting next to me
don't start without me
we're in the car
i'll be home in about 10 mins
You have to stifle a laugh at his sudden quick texts he sends you in scarcely more than a few seconds. Yes, you did just send him a picture of you lying down on your shared bed, wearing his favourite lingerie and a hand sneakily tucked into your pantie, the outline of your knuckles showing through the thin fabric. It's funny to see Jungkook getting so excited all of a sudden, even though it has been years since you got into this relationship - and even though this is not your first time sending him filthy pics when you want to tease him a little. You lean against the headboard now, typing your reply with a smirk on your glossy lips. y/n 9:13 pm hm, 10 minutes is still a long time what am i supposed to do in the remaining time? jungkookie 9:13 pm don't you dare touch yourself wait for me be a good girl and listen to me y/n 9:14 pm it's really hard to stop myself after seeing you perform tonight :( jungkookie 9:14 pm you watched it? y/n 9:14 pm of course i did it was on an illegal site though, i forgot to buy a ticket jungkookie 9:14 pm that's fine babe i'm just happy to hear that you watched it y/n 9:15 pm you looked so good like damn every time you were shown i couldn't believe that you are mine it's just i don't know you're making me crazy, koo i think i need to suck your cock to calm down jungkookie 9:16 pm fuck, babe i bet your pussy is so wet right now god im gonna make you ride my face and you're gonna cum all over me, how's that sound? y/n 9:16 pm god yes i love it It's like a magical source prompts your hand to slide down your body, fingers reaching under your rose laced pantie and tenderly brushing over your wet folds. And because the brat in you can't get enough of teasing Jungkook you open your camera and start filming a short video just for him. The movements of your hand fasten a bit, the outlines of your hand making clear what you're doing. Lewdly arching your back and a soft moan erupts from your throat. Shortly after you trail your hand up your body, your fingertips that are coated with your arousal leaving a shiny imprint on your skin. You palm your covered breast before your take those digits into your mouth, full lips slowly sucking on them. A vicious smirk graces your mouth, eyes glimmering with mischief as you moan around your fingers, slightly loader than the first time. And with that you finish the video. Jungkook is typing something, but before you wait to let him text you whatever he was going to say, you send him the video. You press your lips together to prevent the playful grin widening even more. You're undoubtedly sure that Jungkook will hardly survive the car ride with the video you send him. That impish side of you hopes that he has his volume up a bit, allowing the device to let your soft moans fill the car and rile Jungkook more up. y/n 9:17 pm it's really wet for you jungkookie 9:18 pm shit fuck taehyung fucking heard it y/n what didn't you understand about 'don't touch yourself' ? y/n 9:18 pm i'm sorry gukkie :(( i couldn't resist jungkookie 9:18 pm don't you act like you didn't fucking plan this. always doing bratty things and then acting like you're a good girl when i'm home i want you to sit on your knees on the floor and hands behind your back like the obedient slut you are, is that clear? y/n 9:19 pm yes, daddy jungkookie 9:19 pm good and now put your phone away before you do something stupid again You close your phone and throw it across the mattress before you crawl down the floor in front of the bed and sit on your knees. Your lower lip is caged between your teeth, heart beating faster in anticipation of Jungkook's arrival. He could come home at any minute now. Ever since you saw Jungkook in that yellow shirt, full sleeve tattoo exposed, voguish sunglasses framing his face and his eyebrow piercing gleaming in the lights, you couldn't stop yourself from dreaming about all the things that Jungkook could do to you in the bedroom. Of course you knew before how gorgeous and
breath taking he is, but there is just something about today's outfit and radiance of him that make you want to let him degrade you and devour your whole being. It doesn't take long till you hear the front door opening, heavy footsteps nearing the closed bedroom door. Your heart drums in your chest, eyes completely focused on the door and the man who is about to enter it. The doorknob is being pushed down and the door slowly opening reveals Jungkook, who you so desperately long for ever since you watched the online concert. You could swear that your pussy got wetter just by the sheer sight of him. As Jungkook strolls towards you, you keep your eyes locked on his, tilting your head once he's standing in front of you. ,,You just don't know how to listen, do you?" His eyes swallow the sight in front of him, taking every bit of your marvellous body in. You open your mouth to reply, but Jungkook stops you. ,,Don't say a fucking word." His cold voice sends shivers down your spine and make your toes curl in excitement. This is exactly what you wanted and imagined while watching Jungkook perform. ,,What did you think you were doing by sending me that video? Disobeying my order and moaning like a dirty slut? You're lucky that only Taehyung was in the car with me." You have to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from asking questions like, why didn't you wear earphones like you usually do or why didn't you check the volume of your phone before clicking on it? Jungkook's thumb brushes over your cheek, trailing down to your lower lip. ,,Open." You take his thumb inside, tongue ploddingly circling around his digit. But then he exchanges his thumb with two of his fingers. He drags them all the way in, the sudden movement making you cough. He fucks your mouth with his long and thick fingers, watching your eyes get teary and smirking every time you try to hold back your chocking. With a harsh pull he drags them out of your mouth again, taking his slick fingers in his own mouth and licking them clean from your saliva. Jungkook leans down, one hand cupping your face. ,,Tongue." You immediately stretch out your tongue, looking up at him with obedience glimmering in your orbs. A big drop of Jungkook's spit falls onto your tongue. You close your mouth and visibly swallow his saliva. Jungkook hums satisfies before he leans back again. ,,Take my pants off," he orders. While your hands work on opening his belt and pulling down the zipper, Jungkook removes his black pullover and scatters it across the room. As you tug his pants down you can't stop gawking his arm painted with tattoos and chest that is graced with his big muscles. Jungkook kicks his pants away. You rest your hands on your bare thighs, your digits tickling just from thinking about touching Jungkook's body, but you're certain he won't allow you to. He discards his briefs and his rock hard cock springs free, nearly slapping your face. You swallow once you take his length into sight. Big and hard and veiny. So ready to get sucked by you. Jungkook spreads his precum over his cock, his hand leisurely stroking himself, pushing his foreskin back with every rub. ,,Did you think about sucking me off while watching me tonight?" Jungkook's dark voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You nod. Perhaps the first thing you want to do whenever you feel horny. ,,What a naughty slut you are." He grabs his cock from the base and rubs his tip over your face, his sticky precum marking your cheeks and lips. You poke your tongue out, getting a brief taste of his cock. Jungkook hisses and takes a step back. Jungkook clicks his tongue. ,,Did I fucking tell you to open your mouth?" He grabs a fistful of your hands, tugging at your strands with a strong hold. ,,Please, I just wanna suck you off," you reply, voice oh so sweet and batting your eyelashes innocently. ,,Greedy whore," Jungkook says, letting go of your hair. He rubs the cockhead over your lips and you have to dig your nails into your thighs to not open your
mouth and take him. ,,You really want to? Huh?" ,,Uh-huh." Even you can't believe how desperate you sound. ,,Then open your mouth." Within a second you part your lips, eyes looking up at him with hope. ,,Hands behind your back." You do, impatiently stretching your tongue out. You thought Jungkook would start slow, maybe let you get used to his size, but you certainly didn't think about him ramming his cock past your lips, hitting the back of your throat. Your eyes sting with tears and you gag around him. The warmth of your mouth envelopes Jungkook's hard, veiny cock and he shortly kicks his head back, relishing the tightness of your throat, letting out a pleased groan. ,,Aw, already crying, baby?" he coos, thumb sweeping over the one tear that rolled down your cheek. Saliva gathers in your mouth and you swallow, your throat tightening even more around his length. ,,Shit," Jungkook moans, taking that as the go for fucking your mouth. He starts moving his hips, long cock pushing in and out, his tip hitting your throat continuously. Low moans ring through the room as Jungkook picks a faster rhythm. Your face was already dirty with his precum and now your chin is coated with your own saliva. ,,That's what you fucking get for behaving like a bad girl," Jungkook hisses, hips rolling forward with a hard push. You choke around his cock, eyes filling with tears again. Brows furrowing as you try to relax your throat the best you're able to. His tattooed hand is pushing the back of your head closer to him, your nose brushing his shaved skin. You swallow, making Jungkook hiss when your warm throat gets even tighter. ,,I bet your pussy was a mess after the concert was done, hm? Did you get wet while watching me?" In small moves he rocks his hips back and forth. You close your eyes, the tears immediately falling down your cheeks and dropping to the ground, following the spit that already trickled down your chin. His fingers in your hair tighten, wrapping around a few strands before harshly tugging at them. ,,Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you," Jungkook exclaims, pierced eyebrow dangerously arched. ,,God, you enjoy this way too much, don't you, baby?" He slips his cock out of your mouth and you cough and splutter, tears coursing down your face. ,,Such a pathetic slut." He spits on your face, rubbing his spit into your skin with his cockhead. You're glad that you already took your make-up off, because else your face would have been way much of a mess than now. Jungkook taps the tip of his cock on your cheeks, moving down to your tongue and doing the same there when you poke out your wet muscle as an invitation. You love having his cock in your mouth, being able to taste him. You close your mouth a little, sucking on his tip. Jungkook puffs out a shaky breath, enjoying your gentle sucking for a moment before he pulls your head away. You watch him as he lies down on the bed, hand prompting you to follow him. ,,Sit down on my face." As soon as you hear the words you discard your panties and climb up the bed, throwing your leg over Jungkook's body and position yourself over his head. His fingers pull your soaked lips apart, cursing once when he ogles your glistening pussy. Jungkook pulls you down by gripping your ass with his big hands, his wet muscle liking a stripe up over your folds. You shudder when he meets your clit briefly, hands gripping the headboard. His digits hold your hole open and he flicks his tongue over your entrance, teasing it with short and quick brushes before he sinks into your warmth. ,,Jungkook," you pant, head slowly falling forward. His nose nudges your clit, rubbing against your sensitive bud with every move of his head. Soon your hips start rolling. Jungkook mouth latches onto your clit and suckles on it, making you squirm and squeak on top of him. ,,Just like that, ohhh." One hand trails down to his hair, tugging at his strands and combing his soft hair. You move faster now, Jungkook's grunts against your pussy prompting your
aching hole to clench around nothing, making it long for his big cock. His name is embedded in your brain like a mantra, his too skilled mouth making you see stars. Jungkook's hands skim over your bare back, tongue swirling over your clit in fast movements. One thumb teases your hole, not quite sinking in, but the added sensation is enough to make you grip the headboard harder, shut your eyes close and focus on the feeling inside your stomach that steadily grows. You choke out a moan, the anticipation of your orgasm running through your body like a wildfire. He is slurping your juices, his face covered in your arousal. ,,'tis so good," you slur. His tongue is wild and fierce, relentlessly assaulting your throbbing clit. Jungkook reaches for his dick to rub his cock. He can't bear to listen to your delicious sweet moans without touching himself, he'd go crazy. ,,Don't stop - fuck, baby - please don't stop." Pleasure fills every cell of your body. Your legs close around his head more, trapping his face between your thighs. The coil in your stomach is so close to finally shatter. Your thighs start to tremble and you're momentarily stop breathing, too focused on your climax than anything else. Suddenly Jungkook pulls you down from his face, his skilled tongue gone from your drenched folds and all that is left is your shaky breathing and trembling body from your stolen orgasm. ,,I was close!" you complain. Jungkook scoffs. ,,Sweet of you to think that you get to cum when you want to." ,,Jungkook," you whine. Fuck, you didn't think it through when you decided to tease him. ,,Don't you even dare to look at me with big innocent eyes. You're a dirty slut and dirty sluts are only allowed to cum when I want them to cum." You huff. You won't be able to persuade Jungkook with your pouty and innocent looks this time. ,,Ride my cock and maybe then I'll allow you to cum," Jungkook says, grabbing your hips to position you better on his lap. There's no need to say it again, you already raise your body to align his cock to your entrance, sinking down once your positioned it right. Your both moan at the feeling. ,,You're so goddamn tight, fuck." His cock stretches your walls open, making room for his huge girth. ,,S-so big," you whimper, eyes momentarily closed when you get used to his size. You slowly start moving your hips back and forth and build up a rhythm. ,,A whore like you can take my cock, don't you think so?" You don't answer, way too focused on how his cock is feeling inside you, stroking just the right places. Forceful fingers grip your throat, his big hand completely covering your throat. Your brows pinch when he puts pressure on your neck. Hands resting on his chest for leverage. ,,I think I've never seen you this desperate before," he smirks, smug amusement lingering in his eyes. ,,Love your cock," you admit, clasping his arm that's around your throat. ,,Didn't expect anything else from a desperate slut like you," he retorts, smacking your ass. You moan his name, bouncing faster on his lap and sinking your teeth into your lower lip. Jungkook could listen to you screaming his name all day long. ,,Who's slut are you, hm?" ,,Yours - mhm, fuck - I'm your slut, Jungkook!" Jungkook slaps your ass again, fingers gripping your flesh and nails digging into your skin. You whimper, thighs starting to ache a little, but you won't stop - can't stop - when you get closer to cumming with every rock of your hips. Jungkook thumb nestles between your bodies and starts circling around your clit. You mewl when he cruelly flicks his thumb over your little bud, carefully watching your reaction. Your boobs start bouncing as you fasten your speed, almost spilling out of the bra cups. He cherishes the sight in front of him, his hand around your throat moves to cup your cheek. Jungkook's thumb caresses your bottom lip, it's red and puffed from kissing and biting, looking so beautiful and lewd. You take his thumb in, working your tongue around it while holding
eye contact with Jungkook.
A few sweaty strands of his hair fell onto his forehead. His whole body is covered in a layer of sweat, just like you. He withdraws his thumb from your mouth before he holds your hips with it, a curse falling from him as your pussy contracts around his length. Your hips move in an unsteady manner, but it's enough for you to set the knot in your stomach on fire. ,,Can I please cum?" you whine desperately. ,,No." God, he's so annoying. An exasperated huff bubbles past your lips. You find it hard to concentrate on not cumming when he fiddles with your clit, so you wrap your fingers around his wrist. ,,Fuck, then please stop playing with my clit if you don't want to make me cum!" With a sly smirk he complies, hand wandering to your hair instead and pulling you down to him. His lips meet yours, passionately kissing you with his soft mouth. Jungkook's wet muscle explores your mouth wildly and you moan into the kiss when he squeezes your ass with boss his hands. Jungkook moves on to your neck, biting and sucking and liking until he his satisfied with the result - neck blooming in red marks. When you're both done kissing and marking each others bodies you start bouncing on his cock again, hips languidly twisting and desperate tones filling the air again. Jungkook's mind is too fogged up with pleasure and euphoria to be able to control himself. Perhaps that's why he tugged at your bra a little too strong, and made the flimsy piece snap in the middle of your boobs instead of only tugging the cups down. ,,Ah, fuck, sorry, babe," he grunts, his words more hollow than being actually sincere. ,,Koo," you scold, the straps of your bra slowly falling from your shoulders and freeing your tits. Jungkook hurls the two pieces away and palms both of your breasts. He isn't really concerned about him destroying his favourite set of lingerie - yet. ,,This isn't the first time," you remind him, words breathlessly falling from you as you keep going with your fast rolls on his cock. The amount of bras, panties and tights he managed to tear to pieces are uncountable. ,,I know." Your soft tits in his hands are way too distracting. God, he can't get enough of your gorgeous body. ,,I'll always buy you new lingerie though,", he says, short memories of every time he bought you sexy underwear, the Little smiles that always graced your face when you opened the too expensive boxes with even more expensive little pieces of clothing in there. Jungkook loves spoiling you, he can't quite decipher the why, but he guesses it's for the sole reason of seeing you happy whenever he buys you something. ,,It's been a while." Your hands reach down to his chest, hands slowly skimming over his abs. ,,Really?" Jungkook tries to think about the last time he gifted you a new set, but the last time he is able to recall is way too far away. ,,You're right. I've been - shit - I've been too busy with work." ,,It's fine, babe," you assure. You feel how your chest tightens again, and how your insides are all tossing and turning in anticipation of the incoming climax that grows bigger with every brush against your sweet spot. ,,Well, it's only fine if you make me cum right now." It's like you words snap him out of his trance, remind him that he is supposed to be punishing you for that stupid video you sent him and not have a small chit chat with you. He tweaks your nipple, causing you to whimper. ,,Oh no, absolutely not." Jungkook wraps his arms around your back, pulling you down to his body and starts to pound into your pussy from beneath you. You squeal at his rapid pace, the layer of sweat on his chest sticking to your cheek. ,,You want to cum so badly, don't you?" he coos. The headboard slams against the wall with every snap of his hips, leaving your pitiable neighbours no room for imagination at what you are both doing. ,,I'm so close," you whimper, hands gripping his biceps and nails scratching his skin. ,,Yeah? You're close?" You nod, eyes tightly shut close and body yearning for release. His
hands reach down for your ass, big hands spanking your cheeks before he holds them in a strong grip. ,,You want to cum? Huh?" A shred of hope arises within you when you hear his words. But what a shame that you have your eyes closed and can't see the crooked smile that blooms on Jungkook's face. ,,Please," you beg. But then Jungkook holds up your hips and let's his cock slip out from your clenching hole. ,,Jungkook," you mewl, your pussy pulsating around nothing and longing to get filled up again. He throws you onto the mattress, spreading your legs and sitting between them. Your chest is rising up and down heavily and your whole body is covered in sweat. ,,You're so mean," you say, brows stubbornly pinched together. ,,And you're so wet," he replies, a digit running over your soaked pussy lips. ,,Shit," he whispers to himself, mesmerised by your pretty pussy. His cock is back inside your pussy before you realise. You sigh pleased, his girth perfectly reaching every spot inside you without having to try. Jungkook grabs your calves and pushes them up to your chest. ,,You're such a slut for taking my cock so well," Jungkook comments, eyes glued to the spot where your bodies connect. Your tits move with every move and you're immediately back at fighting back your orgasm that is so easy to trigger after everything Jungkook put you through. Jungkook stares at the bulge in your lower stomach, the movements of his cock visibly showing through your body. His deep thrusts are already rekindling the heat in you core, your muscles tightening in pleasure. ,,You fucking did it on purpose, didn't you?" Jungkook asks, tongue poking his cheek and eyes as cold as never before. ,,You wanted him to hear you moan, right? Wanted to show him how you sound in bed and get all the attention, huh?" Jungkook clenches his sharp jawline. You don't reply, only shyly biting your lip and averting your gaze to where he pounds into you. Jungkook is right. And him calling you out like that is oddly making you feel embarrassed. ,,Answer me, slut," he urges. Jungkook's hand slaps your cheek harshly, leaving a red mark on your already flushed skin. ,,Y-yes. I did it on purpose," you mumble, now meeting his piercing gaze. ,,God, I hate the brat that you are sometimes," he groans, punctuating his statement with a hard drag of his cock. ,,Always seeking for attention, huh? Am I not enough for you dirty slut?" You shake your head vigorously. ,,You are enough - nnghh - I, I just wanted to tease." ,,Wanted attention from another man?" He is rapidly drilling inside you, bruising your aching pussy with fierce strokes. The jealousy on his mind goading his unrelentless speed and the dirty words that fall from him. ,,No! I only want you! Only you, Kookie," you choke out, surprised at yourself for managing to speak at this point. ,,Oh, is that so?" He asks, voice sounding like he doesn't believe you, doesn't believe the pathetic words that you puff out. ,,Uh-huh!" Voice small and being the absolute opposite of sounding convincing, but how are you supposed to focuse on that, when you have a big cock mercilessly splitting your pussy open? ,,Huh? What was that?" He heard that paltry affirmation clearly, but that's not enough for Jungkook. He raises his pierced eyebrow, scanning your fucked out features and waiting for an answer. ,,I want you, Jungkook! Only you, no one else!" ,,Yeah?" ,,Yes!" He grabs your thighs to wrap them around his waist, hands squeezing your throat one more time for good measure. Your heels dig into his body with every stroke against your sensitive spot. Your heartbeat roars in your ears, the hot pleasure blurring every thing except Jungkook's perfect girth fucking you brainless. ,,Then show me how much you want me," Jungkook pants. ,,Cum around my cock and show me how much my dirty slut wants me." His hands are anchored in your hips, digits creating bruises all over your soft skin. Jungkook's approval for you to cum comes out of nowhere, but your body is certainly
ready for it - has been for so long now. ,,I c-can cum?" ,,Do it now or I'll use you a bit longer as my fuck toy." The small threat, combined with his dark eyes sends chills down your spine, but at the same time you're quick to react and reach down to touch your clit, playing with yourself to make you cum faster, but before your finger is close to your swollen bud, Jungkook grabs your small wrist. ,,You didn't want me to touch your clit before too, so now you don't get to touch it either." That smirk that spreads on his face is so wicked. An immediate whine erupts from your throat. ,,Complain some more and you'll be choking on my cock again." Well, that doesn't sound that bad, but reaching your high is higher on your priority list, so you fist the sheets next to you instead, sinking your teeth into your lower lip. All the times Jungkook wickedly robbed you from having an orgasm comes crashing down on your whole body with full force. The intensity catches you off guard, mouth agape and eyes tightly screwed shut as you let the knot in your stomach snatch and overwhelm all your senses. Every inch tickling and trembling as the pleasure overtakes each nerve of yours until you are a nothing but a mess beneath him. Jungkook is literally creating a mess, his teasing and edging on you causes a climax that feels like it could shatter you whole, your pussy leaking with juices, spilling everywhere and making everything wet. The sheets, Jungkook's lower body, your thighs - everything soaked in your arousal. A high pitched moan cuts through the thick air, rebounding off the walls and echoing in your ears. One hand palming your breast, while the other ones tightly clenches its fist around the sheet, you lock your legs tighter around his waist. Jungkook curses, watching the scene unfold in front of him and tries to get his eyes on every little detail, take all of your utterly beautiful being in. He'd never get tired of watching you getting completely lost in pleasure. Your walls flutter around him, a shaky breath falling from his mouth as you continuously tighten on his cock. Jungkook follows with a low, prolonged groan, stilling his hips momentarily when he spills his seed inside you, before he continues with a slower speed, cock pumping you full with his cum. You're gasping for breath, the climax overwhelmed you in every sense you could possibly imagine and making your brain go all foggy. You can't think of anything else than the astounding feeling of pleasure that rippled through your nerves like sparks of a fire. ,,Fuck, I love making you squirt around my cock," Jungkook says, eyes glued to the spot that's now all soaked and drenched with your juices. Your stomach clenches with every move he does, your pussy sensitive like never before. ,,Jungkook," you sigh, his name rolling over your pretty lips the softest he has ever heard. ,,You're good, baby?" Jungkook's thumb caresses your hip bone, eyes filled with so much adoration. Your cheeks are flushed, lips painted in a darker colour, eyes soft like they're always when you look at him and neck marked with different shades of love. He adores this sight. Could never get enough of it. And that's why he loves fucking you till you're in the current state, because god, you're gorgeous and magnificent and unbelievable. You hum your response, too exhausted to say anything. Your hands seek for his body, pulling him down once your tired limbs reach him and let his warmth engulf you. Your body still feels electrified after you calmed down for a bit, Jungkook's cock still tucked within your drenched pussy reminding you of the sharp and calculated thrusts that got you right were you are right now. Jungkook peppers kisses over your face and neck, allowing him to cling onto him like a koala baby while he comforts you. Slowly his cock slips out of you. You whimper at that, but Jungkook is quickly there to seals your lips together with a sweet peck. Jungkook cleans you up before he's back in the same position, lying on top of you and nuzzling
his face into your neck. You stare at the ceiling, deep in thoughts before an annoyed huff bubbles from your lips. ,,What's wrong, baby?" Jungkook plants a loving kiss on your collarbone and then looks up at you. ,,I'm mad." ,,At what?" ,,I changed the bed sheets today and now they're all dirty again." You pout thinking about having to change them again. Jungkook chuckles, stealing a kiss from you, but the pout remains. ,,It's fine, I'll change them for us." ,,But they're my favourite sheets," you sulk. ,,Well, next time don't squirt if you don't like the mess afterwards." ,,It's your fault for edging me the whole time!" you defend. ,,I'd say then don't make me mad, but I know you do all of this bratty shit to get me to order you around and call you dirty names, because you're a naughty girl." You faintly blush at that, biting your lip and hiding your face into his biceps. Jungkook is right. With all of it. Jungkook chuckles at your reaction, brushing your hair with his fingers. ,,How exactly did Taehyung react to my video?" you ask when you suddenly remember how you got Jungkook mad in the first place. ,,Shit, I totally forgot about that," he groans. ,,I'm still pissed at you for that." ,,Wait, did he see it?!" ,,No, but it's bad enough that he heard you moaning." You giggle. Jungkook is noticeably upset about it, so you comb your fingers through his hair. ,,It's fine baby." ,,It's not fine. You're mine, y/n. No one gets to hear those delicate sounds from you except me," he claims and his arms around you tighten their hold. ,,Did he say something?" ,,Mmh-hm," he mumbles and nuzzles further into your neck. ,,Soo...?" You question and tilt your head to have a better look at him. ,,Taehyung can be an asshole sometimes." You know when it comes to you Jungkook is sensitive and pretty easy to provoke, because of his protective nature. Which is also the reason why the boys sometimes - well, recently more often than only sometimes - take that as an advantage and tease him with you. ,,He said something mean?" you try to guess, but Jungkook shakes his head. ,,Doesn't matter what he said," Jungkook answers, lifting himself up from your body. You're a bit confused about him avoiding to answer your questions, but barely a second later Jungkook slides his arms under you, his strong arms securely hoisting you up. You naturally wrap your arms around his neck and don't even question where he is going with you. ,,We should take a shower now." Jungkook ducks down to press a sweet kiss to your temple. ,,Or do you want me to run you a bath?" he asks, eyes roaming over your face to discern if he exhausted you more than usually today. ,,Showering is fine," you reassure. ,,You're sure?" You nod and lean your head against his strong chest. Jungkook continues walking, but to your confusion he doesn't aim for the bathroom but walks down the hall. ,,You should drink some water first," he says after feeling your baffled stare on him. ,,I'm good, Koo." ,,Your throat must be feeling sore after all the screaming, babe." Your cheeks heat up when he calls you out like that. ,,N-no? That's not the case," you defend yourself. Jungkook casts a brief glance down to you, his pierced eyebrow arched. ,,I wasn't that loud...," you pout. ,,You can't tell me your throat is okay after I shoved my whole cock inside you, babe." ,,See? It wasn't my screaming, it was you stuffing your whole cock into my throat." ,,Was it too much? Did you not like it?" he asks, concern coating his words. He stops walking towards the kitchen and eyes you with a worried look. You roll your eyes. ,,Really?" ,,Yeah, you're right. I don't know why I was worried, you're a whore for sucking cock." ,,Jungkook!" you scold, swatting his chest. ,,What? Am I wrong?" he says, with a big bunny smile adorning his face. ,,No, but you're getting too comfortable with calling me dirty names outside of sex." ,,Then you have to stop getting comfortable with sending me nudes," he
retorts. Your mouth hangs open. ,,I know that you like them! Your the one always asking me to send something." ,,Next time I ask, don't send me anything, okay?" ,,But why?" ,,It's risky." ,,I know damn well that you're gonna ask for something the next time you guys go on tour," you say, rolling your eyes again, because he is being ridiculous right now. ,,I won't," he claims. ,,And if I do, then please don't send anything. At least one of us has to stay strong." ,,Babe, I think-" You want to tell him how stupid this sudden idea of his is - you can't even imagine sending no nudes to Jungkook when he is away, it's something usual between the two of you - but he cuts you off. ,,No, this is officially the end of sending nudes to each other. We won't be doing that anymore," Jungkook says. By now you arrived at the kitchen and Jungkook searches a glass for you. ,,I don't like this," you mumble, sighing when Jungkook gives no response and rest your cheek on his buff chest. The disappointment of him cancelling something that kept your relationship fun and exciting doesn't last for long though - you know he won't be able to hold onto his new rule, he'll be begging you to send something soon enough.
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sopebubbles · 2 days ago
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❣fifty-three: 👀👀👀
Bulletproof Heart
A/n: sorry about the yoongi/yeji edit but someone 👀 sent it to me and absolutely could not resist using it
Taglist is still open!! [ask or comment to be added]: @burningupp-replies @halesandy @jikooksgirl19 @lilacdreams-00 @loveyoongles @yoongiofmine @thequeen-kat @renhold-nightspear @xxlovingfandomsxx @disregard-thefootsteps @taeshuworld    @abc-abc1234-a @becomingbts @xianav @kim-jias-den @deleteidentity @r4yih @somelazysundays @hobizi @secretlycrazyhummingbird @lyra0cassiopeia @ventusnonexpectat @theestrangeddreamer @softychimseok @binniebutter @betysotelo18 @thealmightyzah @joyfullyobsessed @twilight-loveer
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soft4gguk · a month ago
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to build a home | chapter nine
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Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc
Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.
Word count: 9.7k
Warnings: mentions of alcohol. best dad koo worried about the future 🥺, explicit protected sex!, oh boy here we go – edging, orgasm denial, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), spanking, dom!jk, sub!oc, they both have potty mouths so a lot of dirty talk, they’re so cute, jimin and lucy have no chill. i think that’s all!
Author’s note: i was in such a soft mood when i was writing this so i’m sorry if it gets very poetic whenever its their inner monologues and i’m sorry there’s a lot of inner monologue in this one lol – a lot of feelings are being felt! and explored! and the two of them are realizing things!! but i hope u enjoyed! thank u for being so patient with me and my god awful time management! i love every single one of you. thank u for the love u always send my way <33 i’m sending it right back! xx
This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x
Chapter Nine
Jungkook bounces Soori in his arms, cooing at her excitedly, trying to coax her into showing her grandparents her most recent milestone.
“Come on, baby. Say daaa,” he begins, laughing slightly at her nonchalant expression. “Hey, let’s show grandma and grandpa, come on. Daaa,” he tickles her belly for good measure.
Her loud baby giggles fill the room, putting near stars in the eyes of her grandparents. “Da-da,” she finally gives, closing her chubby fists on her dad’s hand, attempting to push them away. When he ceases the tickles, she looks up at him, tentatively bringing his hand back on her round tummy and staring into his eyes as she waits for him to do it again. He does, emitting those sweet sounds from her once over.
“Oh! Ggukie.” His mother’s voice is soft, a rare occurrence that Jungkook doesn’t miss. “She is so smart. So, so smart.”
“She’s not even one, yet! She’s advanced.” His dad’s words shock him – never having been one for premature praise.
He looks at Soori, a proud smile on his face. She can break even the toughest of men. She’s magic.
“Right? She’s going to be walking in no time, too.” He brags.
“All before one, as well! You didn’t walk until one and a half.” His mother points out, the glass of red wine in her hand swaying a bit at her exaggerated motions.
“Honey, did you tell him about our birthday gift for Soori?” His dad asks, tone suddenly stern as he composes himself from swooning over his grandchild.
“No, honey. I was going to wait until her birthday next week. But since you haven’t practiced patience since 1973, I guess we can tell him now.”
Jungkook laughs at their harmless bickering. “You guys didn’t have to get her anything.”
“No, son. Trust me – this benefits you as well.”
“We have made a rather generous donation to the Saint Edgard School for Young Ladies. In your name, of course. Which consequently guarantees her a spot in their challenging day-care program and pre-school. Once inside she can look forward to a life filled with the nation’s finest academic curriculum.” Jungkook looks at Soori when he hears the world curriculum. His mother simply smiles, taking a sip from her wine.
“The nation’s? The world’s! Ggukie, it’s the education you received and I have to say, son…,” his father hesitates for a while, eyes fixated on the wall. “You have proven to be nothing but a gifted entrepreneur. It’s in your blood, of course. But it’s in the education that was provided to you from a young age, too.”
“It’s what landed you a safe spot in the Ivy Leagues, darling. We want the same for Soori. She has so much potential.” His mother adds.
Jungkook looks down at his daughter. She smiles at him, shining that bright smile his way – her tongue peeking from between her four tiny teeth. It’s a new habit she’s picked up and by far his favourite. He doesn’t doubt it, her potential. When he pictures her growing up, he sees her shining that light wherever she goes. He tries not to think about it much – far too melancholic of a thought for his own good, yet inevitable. All parents see the best in their kids, he knows. But he sees her in bright lights, full of passion and a world of talents.
That’s as far as it goes, though. He’s never gotten specific about them – ultimately believing that they were going to bloom on their own, not coaxed by him or the nation’s finest academic curriculum. Scratch that. The world’s.
It takes him by surprise, really. The approach a little too gentle for what his beliefs are. Or at least what he thought his beliefs were. He winces when he contemplates the possibility of Soori not wanting to pursue higher education – a bit dumbfounded at how not terrified he feels by the thought alone.
He realizes his thoughts are stretching into the future in astronomical lengths. Before this moment, he’d never even considered day-care. Didn’t even know it could be challenging.
He also realizes that when he pictured her in pre-school, he didn’t imagine her in plaid uniforms and grey walls. The image resembled something quite similar to what he’s seen when he’s picked up Dae from the library on Saturdays. A colorful space, screaming children, crayons scattered all over the floors. Someone loving and patient guiding her and teaching her – telling her stories.
“Thank you,” he says, deciding it’s better to not voice his thoughts. “I mean, she hasn’t even turned one. I don’t know how I feel about day-care just yet and ___-”
“Ah! That young lady is fascinating. But soft. This is Jeon blood right here son – pure and supple. She needs firm hands guiding her path.” His father speaks, raising from his seat on the couch and walking over to Soori, patting her head.
“It’s never too early to think about the future, darling. I would love to see a woman taking on the reins of our legacy.”
“The West End was always meant for great success, son. So were you. And so is she.” His father nods once, short and curt, before he proceeds to walk over to their dining space.
Jungkook’s mother walks over to him, handing him her glass before taking Soori from his arms. She falls into them seamlessly but not without looking back at her dad, that toothy grin adorning her chubby baby face.
It tugs at his heart – for reasons far beyond melancholy.
Too tiny of a person for too big of a future.
Too big of a soul, too.
~
“Baby, baby, baby! You’re doing it all wrong.” Lucy’s mock scolding is hidden by the giggles that fall past her lips as she attempts to teach Jimin how to perfectly plate pasta – scooped and swirled into a hypnotizing spiral he seems to butcher every time.
“Baby.” He feigns exasperation but his laughter fills the room, too.
“Hey! I was more than fine with eating it out of a bowl. You were the one that demanded I teach you my ways.” She defends.
Jimin looks at her, all attention lost from the plating and full focused on his girlfriend. “I always want to know your ways,” his voice is sultry and low.
You stare at them from your place, seated on top of the kitchen counter with a glass of wine in one hand, a piece of bread in the other. You sigh, rolling your eyes playfully as you process sexual remark of the night number twelve.
“Do you ever rest?”
“Yeah. That’s how we re-charge.” Jimin answers your question with a wag of the brows.
“Jimin- ew.”
“Hey, don’t be mean to baby.” Lucy says, wrapping her arms around his middle as she goes back to supervising his scooping and swirling.
“Could never. You guys are cute.” You tell them.
Jimin looks up at you, a sweet smile adorning his lips that’s laced with pride and endearment. He treats Lucy as if he couldn’t believe she’s his and the sight alone restores your faith in humanity and all that is holy. Their love is pure – sincere and straightforward.
Their love is theirs but it makes you yearn. And long and crave.
Like watching a movie or reading your favourite book at late hours of the night – a world filled with comfort characters and an alternate universe where adversity is simply a road taken to fall into the arms of a lover.
You saw him today but you didn’t feel him. You couldn’t touch him, kiss him, speak to him in a softer, gentler voice. You couldn’t tell him how much you loved his new short hair – you couldn’t reach out and snake your fingers through it, caress his forehead, bask in the way his head leans into your touch. You missed him as he stood in front of you and you couldn’t even tell him.
His essence is normally enough but today you want nothing more than to have his body tangled in yours – than to share a world that consists of four walls and a bed, graced with love and soft whispers that fall from his lips at the beat of his touch.
Yearning for Jungkook makes you poetic but the feeling stems from something as elemental as wanting to wrap your arms around him as he scoops and swirls.
You can’t escape it, the longing. The way one person makes you crave for ten thousand feelings, all powered by a simple action that could conduct the most complex of reactions inside of you at the thought alone.
“What should we watch, lovers?”
You’re not Lucy’s only lover anymore. It makes you smile.
“Are you guys going to make me watch softcore 1960s porn again?”
“Hey. La Piscine is a cinematic masterpiece, Jiminie. You should’ve left it at thank you.” You retort.
“Thank you, ___,” he starts, making you smile proudly before he says, “for introducing me to the world of cinematic softcore porn from the 1960s.”
“Lucy!” You whine, but it’s harmless, making the three of you break out in laughter.
“Baby, why are you complaining? You enjoyed that.”
“When did I complain?” He asks, shooting a crooked smirk her way.
“Whatever. I get to pick the movie because all you guys do is kiss like- three minutes in.” You say.
“Fair enough. We trust you. Make it sexy so it sets the mood.” Jimin tells you.
“My pleasure, you weirdos.”
Laughter fills the room again, followed by loud cheers from the three of you as Jimin successfully perfects his scoop, swirl, plate!
~
The city lights illuminate the road, adding to the overall atmosphere Jungkook has settled upon the vehicle as Nirvana plays softly in the background. It wasn’t intentional but he lets it linger, finding comfort in how oddly out of reality it all feels – like he’s stuck in a dream, living a life that isn’t his.
Soori is staying the night at his parent’s house and as much as he prolonged his stay and extended his goodbyes, it was time to go. He will admit he sat in their driveway for a total of fifteen minutes, no aimed purpose in mind, just simply wanting to be there – just in case. She’s in good hands, he knows that. But they’re not his arms.
Or yours.
After a while he decided it was best to get on his way – go do something other than be a dad. But he also realized he was way too tired to be anything other than just that. In the end, it’s heavy duty and you don’t quite realize how much energy it takes from you until you’re sat in a red light all by yourself, no one depending on you or demanding your attention.
And perhaps this would all be enjoyable if his head wasn’t swimming in intrusive thoughts of a future, one he’s not even sure belongs to him just yet. He knows he’s responsible for providing for her, making sure she gets a good education and all the tools she needs to excel and develop but how much say does he have in the long run.
Jungkook knows that what anguishes him isn’t really her education – more so, who she will become. The values she will take on when she begins to think for herself, the decisions she’ll make – what will power them. Will it be kindness or greed? Passion or societal norms? Who will inspire her? Move her, shape her into being someone good enough to be thrown into the world and fend for herself. He knows parents have only so much say at a certain point – he is living and breathing proof of just that.
Will she see the world beyond her privilege? Have friends that expose her to every kind of circumstance there is? Who will Soori be when she’s not his baby anymore, but when she’s just Soori. Her own person.
The light turns green and he revs the engine, driving his car into a parking spot in the middle of the empty street. Once the car has come to a halt, he lets himself melt into the seat, head falling over his shoulders as he closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh.
He knows that ultimately; he plays a big role into who she will grow up to be.
Jungkook is not one to shy away from advice when it comes to parenting. After all, being a single parent is not as easy as one would think it is. All responsibility lands on him and that is great pressure that he oftentimes feels. He knows she’s still little, that there’s not that much actual parenting he can do but she won’t be little forever. She’ll need guidance and discipline – comfort and understanding. Decisions on decisions to be made, all which fall on him. On him and him only. It’s hard. And in times like these, when he’s hit with so much future all at once, it’s borderline terrifying.
She scares him sometimes – all that she could be. He thinks of her now, all plump proportions and sloppy kisses and it makes him laugh, how someone so little and naïve can produce such fear in him.
He wants her wonderous forever. Light-hearted and weightless. Mighty the way she is before she’s about to do something that lands him in what could very well be the early stages of a heart attack.
For some reason he’s not willing to dive into, this thought takes a turn and lands on you. It’s your face first. Then it’s your voice. Then it has less to do with you and more to do with how much he misses you.
He has half a mind, for anything but you.
He pulls his phone from his pocket – hand gripping onto the steering wheel as he presses onto your contact number and brings his phone to his ear. It rings for a while, his thoughts spiralling in that short time alone. What if you’re out with your friends? Having fun? Maybe you’re in a loud place and that’s why you can’t hear his call. Maybe you’ve seen it but you won’t pick up. What was he doing on a Friday night when he was twenty-three? The memories alone make him wince and cringe slightly. He’s about to give up when,
“Hello?”
Your voice is a whisper and he frowns, slightly confused. Nonetheless, it’s comforting.
“Hey – did I catch you in the middle of something?”
“No, no. Not at all. Just cleaning up. It was pasta night. Jimin’s here, by the way.”
He smiles, feeling foolish over thinking you’d be doing anything but. “Sounds nice.”
“Yeah, it was. We’re gonna watch a movie now…,” your voice lilts at the end, sentence bordering on a question.
“What movie?” He only asks because he wants to hear your voice for a little longer before he has to let you go.
“Purple Noon. Hey, where are you?”
“Um,” he looks around, taking in his surroundings. “56th and 9th.”
“Oh. Why?”
He knows you’re asking more for Soori than for him and the realization tugs at his heartstrings. “Was just at my parent’s. Left Soo there.”
“Oh- you’re all alone?” Your voice grows softer all of a sudden and Jungkook let’s himself bask in it.
“Mhm,” he says.
“Well- um… you could- come over? We’re just going to watch a movie and crash, maybe have some wine. Just the three of us, nothing fancy-”
“That’d be nice.”
“Really?” Your question makes him laugh.
“Really, really. If they don’t mind, of course.”
“Duh. It’s your literal best friend taking up sofa space and eating all my snacks. Come, Koo. Don’t spend a Friday night all alone.”
You don’t know this but he needed to hear those words. Hell, he probably didn’t know it either but the comfort you provide is immediate – settling into his heart, making him feel safe in places he didn’t know felt unsound.
“Okay,” he says, voice airy and you can already feel him less tense.
“Koo?”
“Yeah?”
“Should I- should I heat you some pasta?”
“No, baby. I just ate. But thank you.”
“Always.”
Comfort.
~
You’re fidgeting and you know your face gives it away. Lucy looks at you, piercing eyes over her glass of wine, raising a brow in your direction. You shake your head slightly and divert your gaze from hers.
Jimin is trying to find Purple Noon on the web – illegally, of course.
“This is going to put like- at least three viruses into your computer, baby.”
“No, it won’t,” Lucy defends. “Keep looking.”
“I can just log into my Amazon-” Jimin starts but halts his words quickly when he sees the way Lucy scowls at him. “No Amazon on your watch, got it.”
“I’m making Jimin an anti-capitalist.” She tells you.
“I’m not a capitalist!”
“You went to boarding school – it’s internalized, baby. It’s not your fault.” She strokes his cheek gently and even though he wants to defend himself again you can see the way her soft hands distract him. He gives into her and she gives into him. They’re perfect for one another, you think.
“How was that,” you ask, curiously. Aside from what you’ve seen in movies, you don’t know much about it and it sounds enticing for some reason.
“Eh can be fun, can be hell. It made me extremely homesick, though. Thankfully I had Gguk. But he was homesick, too so it was like the blind leading the blind.” He says. “Found it!”
“Yay,” Lucy claps her hands and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
Just in time, the doorbell rings.
“Did someone order something?” Lucy says, slightly confused.
Me, you think but don’t quite voice your thoughts. You simply get up from the couch, walking the couple of steps until you’re unlocking your front door and swinging it open. It’s unconscious, but a sigh of relief passes your lips and he smiles when he makes out the sound. It turns into a grin when yours widens.
You hug him – hesitant at first since you can feel Jimin’s and Lucy’s piercing stares from behind you but it’s hard to focus on anything but him for two seconds too long. He feels warm in your arms. Safe.
“Come in,” you say, taking a step backwards so he can enter your home.
“Hey,” he greets his best friend and yours, giving a little wave.
“Heeeey, nice to see you, Ggukie,” Jimin, ever so lovingly, can’t help it but wrap Jungkook in his embrace, ruffling his hair a bit in the process.
He pushes him away playfully but gives up easily, chuckling and returning the action. “You too. Now get off.”
“Where’s Soo Soo?”
“Over at my parent’s,” he responds.
“Ah, oof. Hope she doesn’t leave there with table manners and new philosophical beliefs.” Jimin jokes but it only sends Jungkook spiralling – mind too vulnerable from his previous mental back and forth.
He shoots his friend a half-hearted smile and nods, a quiet huff leaving his mouth. “Hey, Lucy.” He says.
Lucy’s an easy-hearted person – takes her a lot to even reach the point of distrust or suspicion. But you are, to no one’s surprise, let alone Jungkook’s, her weak spot. You’re family to her and her instincts scream protect. When she’d first seen Jungkook standing in her doorway a week ago, an uneasiness settled upon her – mostly powered by uncertainty. Not knowing, not being able to be part of this secret that you two keep. The same feeling had sparked her just now when you’d open the door and he’d appeared – seemingly out of nowhere, even though she knows you knew he was coming.
All of her instincts tumble down the minute she sees Jungkook’s strained smile. Perceptive as ever, she sees something in him that perhaps not even his best friend does. The way his gaze is fallen, movements faltering before they reach the expressions he seems to mimic as opposed to sincerely mirror from a feeling. He seems lost.
“Hi Ggukie!” She greets back.
The pet name throws him by surprise – and even though it takes him a while to process it, he smiles at her. A genuine, kind smile that Lucy doesn’t miss, making her feel more at ease. Like she can let her guard down.
Call it emotional intelligence or gut feeling, but there’s a lot that Lucy comes to understand about Jungkook in the first five minutes he spends in her home.
“Movie’s all ready – shall we? Gguk, wine?” Jimin says as he heads to the kitchen to top up his own glass.
“No, thanks. Driving,” he reminds him.
“Ever-the-father.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes but it’s matched up with a big smile. You can sense it, the way his guard comes down – the way he softens and goes back to that very root of being that you’ve learned characterizes him so well. The one that made you realize how much of a weightless soul he is. Yet, you can’t help but see the disdain in his eyes. You haven’t had much one-on-one time with him as aforementioned and as hectic as you know work has been, you’re also aware something else plagues his thoughts.
In the middle of your worry something shines through, though. A realization that has your heart skipping a beat.
He didn’t run.
Whatever weighs heavy in his heart he seems to be gatekeeping it but he came to you.
You don’t know how aware he is of his own actions but you also can’t help but acknowledge them. You might be in the dark about a lot of things still but it’s an easier road to take if you walk it with him. Side by side in your little couch that’s too small to fit four people. Lucy and Jimin might as well count as one considering how tangled in each other they are – all this to your advantage.
You sit down next to Jungkook, taking the middle of the couch – careful not to tip over your glass of wine. He looks over at you, a small smile adorning his lips. His gaze travels down to your hand and raises a brow when he sees the chocolate covered pastry you’re holding. An éclair, a family favourite in this house, courtesy of Lucy. You bring your hand up, offering him the sweet treat. You gasp a little when all he does is bring his face forward some and proceeds to take a big bite out of it, leaving you with a little less than half.
“This is what I get for being kind.”
He laughs at your remark, further melting into the couch and opening his arm to welcome you in it. You hesitate for a second but it doesn’t take a lot of mental back and forth for you to comply. He feels warm to the touch – another thing that characterizes him. The room is dark, a soft, chilly breeze creeping in from the open window that has the thin blinds dancing in the air, casting random shadows upon everything the light touches. You take advantage of this, shivering slightly before your body grows closer to his. His grip around you tightens and he squeezes a little. It’s reassuring – having him in your close proximity, basking in the intimacy of touch. Your most vulnerable side tells you his presence was a prayer answered. A reminder that when a feeling is this pure, it’s only a matter of asking and you shall receive.
The plot of the movie unfolds, your TV screen filled with dreamy sights of the Italian coast and sultry scenes between the attractive leads. You’re drunk on visuals, white wine and the way your every sense is powered by Jungkook. He smells fresh and clean. Feels warm and soft as your body melts into his, yet firm as your hand rests on his toned stomach. You can feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing and when you let the moment consume you, you can hear it, too. You want to kiss him but you’ll count your blessings – reminding yourself this closeness is enough for now. Going off on muscle memory of what it’s like to feel his lips on yours.
Jungkook’s attempts to keep his attention on the storyline is futile. His mind fails him. His heart, too. There’s something so simple yet heart wrenching about spending a Friday night in your cozy apartment on a summer night – an old French film that requires his eyes shift from the moving images to the subtitles playing on your small TV. You sigh every once in a while, and he’s come to draw a pattern of the way your body unconsciously reacts to anything mildly romantic on the film. You’d probably have a million words to describe how he feels about you right now yet he can’t seem to find one.
Jimin and Lucy don’t hold back on their loving, shamelessly lost in each other – movie long forgotten. He can’t see much, the two of them safely tucked inside a big blanket in a makeshift cocoon. But he can hear it.
It’s ridiculous – the scene that unfolds around him. One he would’ve scoffed at if someone would’ve made the offer a couple of months back. Here, I’ll give you a Friday night full of slow burn romance in foreign films with a side of raging hormones. But right now, a feeling brews inside of him at a rapid pace. He smiles when he finds the word for it. He smiles because it’s one you taught him. Elation.
You’re snuggled against him and he looks at you, shiny eyes glued to the screen. He kisses your forehead – a chaste kiss that takes you by surprise, making you jump a little. However, he doesn’t pull back; lips pressed to the soft skin as his fingers play with your hair.
Your moment of bliss is broken by the lewd sounds of what you hope is only tongues coming together. You gasp and Jungkook laughs against your forehead, chest shaking a little from the giggles that escape him.
“Why does it sound wet in there?” You ask without an ounce of remorse.
Lucy throws a pillow your way, which Jungkook swiftly catches with his free hand.
“Damn, this movie’s long.” Jimin says, detaching his body from Lucy’s and leaning back on the couch. His hair is a mess and even in the dark room you can make out his swollen lips. Lucy doesn’t miss a beat, wrapping her arms around him and humming in agreement.
“You two may be excused. I’m well aware no one is paying attention to the bit of culture I’m attempting to bestow upon you guys.” Your tone is playfully dramatic.
“I’m paying attention,” Jungkook lies.
“And that’s on you.” Jimin says.
Lucy giggles and all you can make out is a soft whisper as she nuzzles her face into Jimin’s neck.
“Sheesh, these two.” Jungkook whispers, audibly enough for you to hear.
“Tell me about it. The quieter they are now, the louder they’ll get later.”
He laughs. “Hey, wanna come over to mine? I can drop you off at the library tomorrow after I pick Soori up from my parent’s.”
You look up at him, big hopeful eyes that make his insides run like honey. “You sure?”
“Very.” He looks over at your friends who’ve resumed their prior activities. “Don’t wanna leave you yet. But don’t wanna witness Jimin out in the wild.”
“Strong point, Sir. Let me just get a change of clothes for tomorrow. And PJs.”
He pulls you back into his arms as you begin to get up, your faces inches apart. He pouts, brows furrowing. “No PJs.”
You stare at him for a second, breaking out in soft giggles. “Fine. No PJs.”
~
Jungkook opens the passenger door for you and the simple act makes you feel all tingly and warm on the inside.
“Thank you,” you tell him, closing the space between the two of you and pressing your lips to his cheek softly.
“Always,” he mimics your words from before and you only smile – afraid you’ll let out an endless stream of words and secret confessions that bottle up inside of you.
You see as he rounds the car from the windshield and when he catches you staring, he shoots you a smile. You make a mental note to tame your feelings, afraid that if you let them, they’ll start pouring out of you at an unstoppable rate.
“Your car has too many buttons.”
Your sincere observation makes him let out a loud chuckle. “Mm, yeah. I’ll give you that one.”
“Jungkook,” you say, about to fail the first attempt.
“Yeah?”
“I missed you.”
He looks at you, hand coming up to caress your cheek. For a couple of seconds, he just lets himself stare at you. You realize the way him not immediately returning the feeling doesn’t make you feel uneasy. In fact, his silence only allows for you to get lost in his gaze – his eyes telling you more than his words could, even if he tried. You smile.
“I missed you, too.” His words fall from his mouth, straight to your lips as he kisses you for the first time in what feels like an eternity. You both let out a long sigh, smiling against clinked teeth when you sync.
When he pulls away, he points a finger up, eyes following, as if remembering something. He reaches to the backseat of his car, retrieving a little box. He opens it, fingers reaching inside until he’s handing you an envelope.
“Miss Soori Blue kindly requested I pass along this invitation,” he says.
You smile, opening the white envelope and pulling out the card that rests inside. it’s white, too – the borders a pastel pink. His address, the date and the words I’m looking forward to celebrating with you! Adorning the top half. At the bottom of the page sits a pretty picture, made of what seems to be watercolours. Different animals painted on it – a lion, a giraffe, a koala, an elephant and a zebra, with comical smiling faces and birthday hats.
“Koo,” you say, nearly cooing at him. “This is so cute, oh my God.”
“She has good taste,” he says, rather sheepishly.
“Is it- animal themed?”
“Safari.”
“Did you paint this?” You ask, fingers running over the animals.
“Kinda. I did it on my iPad. Hope she doesn’t resent me for it when she’s older.”
“Are you kidding? You’re like- the coolest dad. And, I’d love to be there.”
“We want you there. No office hours. Just you.”
You look at him, pondering on what he’s trying to say. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“But- your friends are going to be there. Your parents-”
Jungkook is aware of everything you’re saying. Perhaps these are all things he would consider more than once before asking you to be there. For Soori. For him. For the first celebration of her life he’s going to walk into as a single parent. For when he wants to double the love she gets, just so she doesn’t lack. He wants you there and life feels too heavy to deprive himself of you.
“It’s okay. I don’t owe anyone an explanation. Plus, you’re- a very important person in Soori’s life. I want you there.”
“Okay,” you say, looking at the invitation again. “How cool!”
He smiles, starting the engine. “I hope it all goes smoothly. I probably should’ve hired someone to help organize it but I think I’ve got it under control.”
There’s something about Jeon Jungkook, the CEO, organizing a Safari themed, all pink, birthday party that just plays with your heart.
“It’s going to be epic. I can sense it. I have an excellent radar for fun times. This one won’t miss, trust me.” He laughs, reaching for you hand and intwining his fingers in yours. “God, I can’t believe she’s turning one already. Time is flying by.”
He’s been hearing that a lot. From his friends, his parents, family – even Mrs. Chae. But tonight, hearing it gives him a wave of something other than the nostalgia he usually feels whenever he’s reminded his baby is growing up. Tonight, time flies feels rather literal.
“What did you want to be when you grew up?”
You don’t hesitate for a second. “A mom.” He looks over at you for a second before diverting his eyes back on the road. “Four-year-old me didn’t know girls could do things other than being moms or teachers. So, I wanted to be a mom. I would convince my parents to get me dolls with the, very honest mind you, excuse that I was practicing for when I grew up and became a mom.”
He swiftly stops the car at a red light, looking at you with big, curious eyes – already enthralled in your story.
“Then I grew up a little more and was hit with the infamous, you can be whatever you want! And in-between maybe five and ten I truly went through all the phases. I wanted to be a nurse. A veterinarian. There was this one summer where all I wanted to do was grow up so I could be a lifeguard. I heard my parents talk about my college fund once and I asked them if I could use the money to go to lifeguard school.” Jungkook laughs, head thrown back and nose scrunched, your recollection of the events so vivid he can almost picture it.
“Then I wanted to be a firefighter. At this point my parents were getting used to my hyper fixation with whatever new line of work I discovered next. The very last one I had before deciding I wanted to be a writer was probably the most shocking. I was walking through the park with my mom one day and saw this group of men in neon suits picking up litter from the street. I thought it was so noble of them – having just learned about pollution in school and the importance of recycling. I ask my mom what ‘those’ were called. She saw the police patrol supervising the inmates doing community work and simply asked me why I wanted to know. I told her that I wanted to do just that when I grew up. She nearly had a heart attack.”
Jungkook’s chuckles fill the closed space of the car and yours follow not too long after you’ve finished your story. His whole demeanour seems to change in a matter of seconds – expression softer and gaze gentler.
“I’m glad you pursued literature,” he tells you.
“Me too,” you say, smiling. “I was quite young. My parents thought it was another phase but I stuck to it. Now I’ve grown up and I don’t really know what I am? But… I think ten-year-old me would be proud.”
Your words settle into him – the realization hitting him at once. The beginning of an answer to the question that has been swarming his thoughts all night. Your words are comfort, once again. But more than comfort, they’re hope. They let him know it’ll be okay. You make trusting time feel easier. He looks at you, hears the stories of what makes you – of what formed you, and he feels at ease.
He then realizes that he doesn’t know what Soori will be. But that it doesn’t quite matter as long as she’s happy. As long as she’s able to look back at the road that made her and say she’s proud of herself. Of where she’s been.
Just like you.
“What did you want to be when you grew up?” You ask, fingers lacing around his neck and caressing softly. He leans into your touch, eyes fighting to stay open at the blissful feeling.
“The blue Power Ranger.”
~
The night took a turn you weren’t necessarily expecting, yet you welcome it. Both your body and mind had been craving him in equal parts – not having felt his skin on yours since last Sunday. It’d been a rollercoaster of emotions of a day that the two of you wrapped up by seeking that physical closeness you’ve become addicted to. It did just that. Closeness. A moment so overwhelming as the two of you asked for more. Begged for more, as if you’d have the power to deny him. As if your body wouldn’t muster the strength needed to take him one more time, only to feel the euphoria of whatever his body flushed to yours did to your heart.
It was intense and afterwards it’d found you both quiet – two heaving bodies deciphering a world of feelings that took over the confined space of your room. Suddenly your bed felt too small, the walls too narrow, everything suffocating yet the feeling didn’t stop you from letting his arms wrap around yours, pull you closer – his breathing lull you into a deep, peaceful sleep. And when you dreamt, you dreamt of him. And even in faraway realities you could feel his touch on yours; the warmth.
In that reality you didn’t hold back the truth.
Amidst a forest of tall, green trees and white butterflies you spoke softly into his ear.
I love you. Once, simple. The truth untold.
He’d placed a kiss on your lips as he said his goodbyes – shushing you softly so you didn’t fully rouse from your peaceful slumber. You smiled, lips forming a pout as you lazily returned the kiss. It made Jungkook linger for a moment, eyes closed, lips locked in yours until he felt you fall back, resuming your sleep.
The week that followed came as fast as it ended, but only in retrospective. Only from the eyes that hold his right now, finally back in his atmosphere.
“What are you thinking about?” He nudges your calf with his foot – the two of you laying down at opposites ends of the sofa, glasses of wine in both your hands and the remainder of Purple Moon playing on the TV of his living room.
“I want you,” you speak your mind.
“Hm?” His foot travels upwards, running from your calves until they’re reaching your lower thigh before it's pushing it open slightly.
“Mhm,” you answer, shivers running down your spine as you give into his touch, your leg left leaning to the side. His head follows its movements, eyes shortly traveling to your center – the soft lace of your white panties catching his eyes. Your dress is short and it hikes up your thighs as you adjust your position.
“What do you want, baby? Tell me.”
You ponder on it for a minute, suddenly shy. “I dunno. What do you want to do to me?”
“Don’t be shy now, angel.”
“I want you to make me feel good. Without holding back.”
“Yeah? Would you let me, baby?”
You nod your head slowly, eyes fixed on his that darken by the second. “Y-Yeah.”
“Come here,” he says, propping his glass on the coffee table before he’s settling back into the couch comfortably, legs stretching onto the long of the L-Shaped sofa.
You follow his movements, setting you glass down before you walk towards him, hovering for a second as to receive his next queue.
His arm reaches for your hand and you take it, letting him pull you into the sofa until you’re sitting down. You let him guide your body, arms softly turning you and pulling you to him until you’re sitting between his legs, back leaning against his front.
“Open up for me, baby.” He says as one of his hands traces a road downwards, until the tip of his fingers run down your inner thigh, tentatively close to where you need him the most. His other hand travels up, wrapping gently around your throat, fingers gripping onto your jaw, turning your face to his until his lips find yours.
You whimper into the kiss, a shiver running down your legs, goosebumps forming at his every touch. You give into him – parting your mouth until your tongues are licking at one another’s. He draws your bottom lip in-between his teeth, biting with a bit more force than usual. Your legs close around his hand and he squeezes at the soft flesh of your thigh, revelling in how responsive you are to his touch. Pliant and a little impatient as your hips begin to circle on their own, unconsciously drawing him closer, craving his touch.
When his hand travels up your legs fall open once again, melting into his body as the anticipation settles into you, the excitement growing, a build-up of days making you needy for that high, that explosion of feelings you know he can coax out of you in a matter of minutes. And when the touch comes, you sigh into his mouth, cunt pulsing at the feeling of his middle finger pressing on your clit over your panties. The buckle of your hips lets him know he’s got you right where he wants you and its signal enough for him to start drawing tiny circles against your little nub – his touch is light, barely there as the tip of his finger toys with the sensitive bundle of nerves. But as placid as his touch is, it builds up quickly and to your surprise, you can already feel the pressure building up at your lower belly; knees starting to shake and breathing picking up a puffy, erratic pace.
“You wanna feel good baby?” His voice is deep, a soft growl right in your ear that you feel right in your gut.
“Yes, p-please,” your voice is airy, almost delirious as his light touch begins to tip you over the edge.
“Then you have to be good. Can you do that?” Your mind is hazy, body following the feeling too and when you don’t reply his teeth nip at your earlobe, hips rutting against his finger.
“Y-Yes, I c-can,” you give.
“Are you close, baby?”
“Yes- fuck. I’m so close, Koo- please don’t stop.”
He lets you fall into the feeling, ever so close to reaching the ultimate pleasure he knows he’s able to grant you with just one determined touch. Your body so receptive, so fucking good for him as he’s come to know it so well – to read you so well, even in just a couple of weeks. Those instances are enough to let him know you’re dangerously close to fully breaking for him, letting go and falling completely. It’s right then that he stops, hand cupping your mound as you let out a loud cry. He can feel the unevenness in your breathing right against his chest.
“N-No- why, please-” your voice borders on a plead and it sends a jolt of electricity down Jungkook’s body.
“You’ll cum when I say so.”
His breath fans over your neck, hand pushing away stray hairs that have fallen onto your forehead, already sweaty as you begin to come down from the pleasure. You’ve never played this game. Never put your pleasure in someone else’s hands so willingly, entirely. It makes you feel slightly on edge – and quite literally. The nerves pooling in your tummy; the anticipation bittersweet.
“O-Okay.”
“Have you ever done this?”
“No. I just- never understood it. Always too i-impatient.”
A low chuckle resonates down his chest and you can feel it in yours. “That’s okay, baby. You’ll be good for me and I’ll let you feel good. You’ll understand it.”
“I want to be good for you, Jungkook.”
“Yeah? My good girl?” His words get lost inside your mind as his fingers hook inside the hem of your panties, pushing them to the side. You close your eyes, both relieved and anxious to feel his touch again.
“Yes, fuck- I’m your good girl.”
At your words he gives in, fingers coating in your slick before they’re traveling upwards again, resuming the torturous pace on your clit. Your mouth parts in pleasure – the feeling ecstatic, moans lilting at the end until you’re whining at the feeling.
“You’re so wet, baby.” He teases your entrance, middle and ring finger pressing into your opening until you’re begin, a loose string of pleases falling past your lips. “What do you want? Use your words.”
“Your fingers- I want you to fuck me with your fingers,” your sentence morphs into a moan, a cry of pleasure as his two fingers thrust inside of you, immediately hooking up until they’re pressing onto your g-spot for a second too short, not letting you bask in it fully as he begins the push and pull – pressing every time they’re nestled in.
You grab a hold of his wrist, opening your legs further as you force him to still his movements – wanting to feel his fingers pressed into that spot for a little longer.
His laughter borders on mean and it only makes you pulse around his fingers. The hand that holds onto your throat travels up, fingers harshly gripping your jaw, making you look at him.
“You’re greedy, huh?” His question is rhetoric and perhaps you only nod your head to piss him off further. “My greedy little slut?” You nod again and his grip tightens, fingers hooking up inside of you – the pressure so intense it has your eyes rolling to the back of your neck. “Baby wants to learn the hard way.”
His last statement sets something off inside of you and before you can let out a faint response his fingers pick up force and pace inside of you – short little thrusts as he focuses on that spot, thumb adding to the pleasure as he circles your clit with it. Your wanton moans are laced with pleads, begin him to go faster, harder – more. He can feel your walls contract around his fingers, pussy getting tighter, voice raspier, chants of his name sounding borderline delirious as you begin to get lost in the feeling again.
“I’m gonna cum- fuck I’m gonna-”
But your words fall stranded into the air – body closing around yourself as he pulls his fingers away from your cunt, placing his hand on your lower belly as your body jerks in what feels like it’s walking a thin line between pain and pleasure. You cry out a string of no’s and he shushes you softly.
“Close your legs, baby.”
You do and like magic, you begin to come down from it yet once again.
Your body falls into his arms, falling slightly to the side as you try to stop your legs from shaking, a half-hearted attempt to ease your breathing back to normal. It’s impossible to settle down all the way but when you begin to regain consciousness you look up at him again, opening your eyes and meeting his dark ones.
“Please,” you beg.
“Shh. Lay down, baby.”
You do, with little body strength, you let yourself fall into the soft cushions of the couch. Jungkook hovers over you, sitting on his feet as he begins to unbutton his shirt. Your arms reach out, wanting to touch him but you feel too weak. He holds onto your hand instead, bringing it to his lips and placing a soft kiss on your open palm.
“You gonna be good for me, pretty girl?”
“Y-Yes- please just- fuck me, Koo.”
“Mm, not yet. I want to taste you first.”
He begins to lower his body, making himself comfortable between your thighs as he hooks his fingers on the hem of your panties. He pulls them off your legs, pushing your thighs open with his big hands. The sight of him between your legs alone has your mind falling back into that pleasure – your body quickly following.
“I’ll cum- I can’t,” you cry.
“Yes, you can. You’re so good for me, baby. So pretty like this.”
He places a kiss against your slit that has you unconsciously bucking your hips into his face. His arm circles around your thigh until his hand is resting at your pelvis. He pushes down, making you press your ass against the sofa once again. He narrows his eyes at you, a stern and deep stay leaving his lips.
His head lowers, tongue parting your folds with a thick lick of his tongue that starts at your entrance, all the way to your clit. He minimizes the stimulation where he knows it’ll set you off just yet, instead using his tongue to tease around them – soft little kitten licks before he suctions slightly, your juices coating his chin in an almost pornographic way but he loves it. He loves every tell-tale sign of your desire – could hear your soft little moans grow louder with every circle of his tongue around your entrance, could feel every tug at his hair with every gentle flick of the tip of his tongue against your clit. He could bask on the warmth of your pussy – how wet and tight you feel around his fingers, his tongue, his cock. He throbs at the mere thought of knowing you’ll have him inside of you in a matter of minutes.
“Oh my fucking God- don’t stop, baby- please don’t stop.”
Your cries are so sweet, the skin of your thigh so soft around his hand that keeps it open. Your pussy so wet, filling the room with lewd sounds as he unabashedly eats you out. Devours you until all he can feel, taste, smell is you. How much you want him – need him. How much you unravel just for him.
He almost considers to give you just what you need the most. Too tempted by having you shaking and squirming under him – him too craving to feel you let go, fall into your release, hear every single moan he knows he can emit from you.
But he doesn’t.
He pulls away and looks up at you. His lips are shiny with your juices, tongue running over them to gather every last drop, licking them clean.
The come down is less abrupt this time – your body growing accustomed to being so close to tipping over, rapidly adjusting to the come down, though not sending you into any less of an agony. This time, though, it makes you hungrier.
You look up at him. That look on his face that doesn’t hold an ounce of fear when it comes to ruining you whole. Not an ounce of remorse over doing things to you that he knows won’t allow you to go back to whatever point it is you were since in before you came into his atmosphere – basked in the pleasure, revelled in the desire that has a first and last name.
Him.
When you speak, your voice is but a whisper.
“Please- fuck me. Do whatever you want with me.”
It takes him a second to process your words but when they finally dawn upon him his movements are determined – quick. His hands come to rest at the buckle of his belt, swiftly undoing it. He motions to your dress – “Off, baby.” You comply, with shaky hands, mustering every bit of strength you have left. Throwing his pants to the side, your dress follows the pile that forms at the floor. In perfect sync, your bra and his boxer briefs come off, too.
His cock throbs in his hand as he releases some pressure with a couple of languid pumps. He follows your movements with his eyes as you reach for your bag that sits on top of the coffee table and pull out a condom. He smiles.
“Was this your plan all along?”
“You said no PJs.” You bite back, bringing the foil package to your lips and tearing it open.
Jungkook walks closer to you, coming to stand between your legs, fingers lazily running down your slit, before he’s coating his cock with your juices. He thinks about what it’d feel like to feel you raw – take you like this, feel your tightness and warmth without a barrier. The thought alone has him rolling his head over his shoulders, a moan escaping his lips as he feels your small hand wrap around his cock – pumping a couple of times before rolling the condom on.
His hands grab a hold of your legs, pushing them onto the couch. His come to rest at either side of yours, pushing them closer until they’re completely closed. He grabs hold of your waist and flips you over in one swift movement. You gasp, the faint sound quickly turning into a whimper as you feel his lips dusting feathery kisses all over your back. He places one on each little dimple that forms at the curve of your ass and when he pulls away slightly, he lands a loud smack against the round flesh. You let out a loud moan.
“Is this okay, baby?”
“Y-Yes,” you reply.
He lands another one, this one with more force and you’re sure it’s bound to leave a handprint. The sting makes you close your fists around a pillow, whining in pleasure at the pain. You’ve never experienced anything like it before and giving into the feeling feels dangerous so it’s with a shaky voice that you say, “m-more.”
“Yeah?” Another slap, on the same cheek, the pain sending tingles down your body.
He wraps a hand around his cock, lowering his body until his front is flushed to your back. He lines himself against your entrance and when you nod, he pushes in, thrusting his hips into yours. You’re so wet you take him in one swift movement, hissing at the fullness when he bottoms out.
“Fuck- the tightest little pussy.”
“Your tight little pussy,” you say in-between laboured breaths.
“Yeah, baby. My tight little pussy- fuck. All mine.”
He pulls back, circling his hips as your cunt swallows his tip back in – short little pulses that send shivers down his spine as he can feel just how close you are. How much you’re holding back, how good you’re being for him. He pushes back in, the force of his thrust sending you further into the couch as a feral groan ricochets past his chest – throaty and deep. Everything about him – the way he feels, the way he sounds just adds to the pleasure. He fills you up so well, the angle just right making him hit repeatedly against that spot that has your toes curling and legs begin to grow shaky, right along with the cries you let out with every push and pull.
“That feels s-so good, Koo. I love your fat cock, please fuck me harder.”
He groans, body straightening, grabbing a tight hold of your hips before he’s landing another loud slap against your ass. He can feel your pussy clench around his cock at the contact, making him hiss in pleasure at the feeling.
“You like that, baby? You like it when I rough you up?”
“Y-Yes, f-fuck I love it, Jungkook. I fucking love it- harder, please.”
Your filthy mouth is all it takes for him to piston his hips into yours, the loud slapping of your ass against his thighs filling the room – mixed with your sweet moans and his deep growls as you begin to grow impossibly tighter around him. He squeezes your ass, hard grip on his hand before it comes up and slaps at it once again.
“Oh- oh fuck, Koo, fuck, fuck, fuck- I’m- can I cum, please- let me cum.”
“Cum for me, baby. Cream my cock, let me feel you. Let me hear you.”
You tense up for a second, body hesitant to let go after being teased to exertion. But his movements never falter, hitting repeatedly right where he feels the best and it takes you a second to get there. You let go and the feeling throws you aback so abruptly it blocks your vision for a bit, tiny silver dots all you see as your lips part in a silent moan as your whole body begins to shake. It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before and when your voice finds you – it’s loud. Cries of pleasure and muffled chants of his name as your breathing grows erratic. You feel like you’re going to pass out, fisting at the pillows to ground yourself.
“Fuck, baby- yes.”
Your words are barely there but you manage to say, “please don’t stop fucking me, please don’t- I think I’m gonna-”
Jungkook doesn’t think he can last a second longer, his body growing weak as he falls on top of you, forearms holding him from crushing you as his thrusts grow sloppier. But he can feel the way your pussy pulses around his cock, signalling another orgasm.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum. Again baby, cum for me again- cum with me, ___.”
And you do. You let go, hand reaching for him, pulling his face flushed to yours, fingers tangling in his hair – feeling so overwhelmed it has you tugging at the strands with force. He hisses against your cheek, the airy little sound turning into a moan as he releases into the condom, cock throbbing as he buries himself deep inside of you, wanting to feel every last pulse of your cunt in perfect sync with his own.
He stays there for a minute – collecting himself and his breathing, dusting open mouthed kisses on every inch of skin his lips can find as you begin to come down, too.
You don’t move when he pulls away, too fucked out and exhausted – body still shaking with the aftershocks of your orgasms. The intensity of waiting until you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Baby,” Jungkook coos, “let’s go shower.”
“Jungkook,” you call out his name, rolling over and onto your back.
“Tell me, angel.”
You simply outstretch your arms towards him. He smiles, cocking his head to the side before he’s picking you up – bridal style.
“That good, huh?” He asks, a smirk lacing his features.
“You always get so cocky after sex,” you say, nuzzling your face on the soft, warm skin of his chest.
“Well, I just made you cum twice so-”
“Shhh,” you tell him, a lazy, trembling finger pushing onto his lips.
He bites it slightly and you gasp, making him smile.
Your eyes stay closed as he walks the two of you up the stairs.
You look angelic – so soft.
You look like everything that he’s known to resemble love.
~
HI! i don’t even know what to say. they’re so soft, they’re so sexy. i really came for violence by making jungkook organize soori’s birthday party all by himself? AND HE DREW HER BIRTHDAY PARTY NVITATIONS TOO? lol i have no chill like that actually got me fucked up. ANYWAYS I TRULY HOPE U ENJOYED! if u did lemme know – you guys know i love speaking to u guys about my lil story and just chit chatting in general. i’m sending a million kisses ur way <3333 xx
~
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