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osamusriceballs · 1 year

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The Hardships of Love

Oikawa x reader

Warnings: None

Words: ~ 1,7k

About: Centered this around the prompt: "Can't you see that I love you?"

A/n: I saw a small list of prompts and I'll go through them- five more to go! If you want to see a certain character for the next prompt, feel free to send an ask! Won't reveal the prompt for it though, so it'll be a surprise~

You're certain about very few things in your life, and one of them is Oikawa Tooru.

Oikawa Tooru is warmth.

Oikawa Tooru is your friend.

Oikawa Tooru will always be by your side.

Or at least, that's what you wish for.

"Hey, I need your help."

"What for?" He looks up and smiles when he sees you. His smile makes his face look softer, and your heart skips a beat at that sight. He exceeds kindness, but there is still something mischievous about him. Maybe it's his eyes, which reveal what's behind his usual mask, or maybe you just like to think that you are actually able to see the real Oikawa Tooru.

However, that couldn't stop you from swooning for him. He is not only attractive and incredibly skilled at volleyball, his passion and job, but he is also caring, thoughtful, easy to be around, and supportive. He is basically perfect boyfriend material. But you don't dare to go down that road. You're convinced that he has tons of beautiful women lining up on his—rather, your shared—doorstep and wouldn't spare a single romantic thought about his roommate—you.

How you both stayed in this flat after your college years have been behind you for quite some time is a miracle to you. He always insists that it's easier to stay here and that most people wouldn't expect him to live in a neighbourhood like this, and you somehow couldn't separate yourself from him too. There is something about Oikawa Tooru that makes you want to stay close to him.

"It's kind of stupid. I talked to Hajime last week..." Oikawa's smile gets wider when you mention Iwaizumi, and you are certain that you now have all of his attention.

"Go on." He nods, and you take the encouragement to keep going. He'll probably laugh at you, at his roommate that hasn't had a date for such a long time that his best friend felt pity and decided to set you up. But you still continue, hoping that he won't tease you for it.

"Hajime said that I need to go on a date," you say. It's the way he keeps eye contact with you that makes you squirm in your place. You don't miss how his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, his smile faltering for a short second.

"A... date?" He slowly repeats your words, as if he was checking that he got it correctly. You nod carefully, observing his reaction to see if he is about to burst out in laughter—and much to your surprise, he does not.

"Like... a date with Iwa-chan?" His eyes drop to the two dresses in your hands. It seems like he only noticed the fabrics in your hands now, and his face instantly turns blank.

"And... you want fashion advice from me? For your date with my best friend?"

"It's not with Hajime! It's with a friend of his—he said he knows him from work and that he plays volleyball too. He also joked that both of you play the same position, and that he is a former—"

You stop rambling when Oikawa abruptly stands up, his phone tightly clutched into his hand, and his jaw clenching.

You know that your cheeks are probably coated in a faint pinkish hue, quite embarrassed about the whole situation, but he doesn't seem to notice that. His eyes are solely focused on the ground, his body motionless for a few moments. It takes him a few seconds before he raises his gaze again, suddenly sporting a smile that you have never seen on him in real life before, but only in countless interviews. It's his practiced professional smile.

He looks at you as he would look at one of those reporters who would ask him about his beauty products after he literally won the World Cup.

"It's fine. No need to tell me more. Enjoy." His tone matches his expression, and you know instantly that something is off. Very much so.

"What's wrong with you, Tooru? Shouldn't you congratulate me for finally having a date?" You frown, and your fingers clench into the fabric of the dress that you're still holding in your hands, your knuckles turning white from the pressure already.

"Why should I? Y/n..." His hand runs carelessly through his hair, and God, you can't help but admire him for a second when his biceps flex under the loose white shirt that he's wearing. However, your attention quickly returns to the conversation. He suddenly looks at you, a shattered expression on his face, the professional tone gone as quickly as he had put on the facade.

"Y/n, can't you see that I love you?" His words are accompanied by glossy eyes, a sight that almost breaks your heart - as well as the meaning of his words when it finally hits you.

He... Oikawa... Oikawa loves you.

"You...just..."

"No. Don't." He raises his hands to stop you from talking, a defeated and tired expression on his face. "I didn't mean to say that. I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position. Forget it. I'll leave."

Despite being a very observant man, you can tell that Oikawa didn't think this through and acted on instinct. He needs to squeeze through you in the doorframe to get to his room, and that would undoubtedly be very awkward for the two of you. It takes him exactly seven steps to reach you, his gaze avoiding yours as much as he can while he tries to get past you without accidentally touching you - but it seems like the seven steps have been enough to help you recover from your initial shock, and you drop the dress in your hands to grab his arm.

"Please, Tooru, listen to me. Please. Don't go now." You let your hand wander down to his, and he quietly wraps his hand around yours - and at this very moment, you are insanely aware of everything - of the way he is standing so, so close to you, of how he is holding your hand tightly with his big, strong hand - of how his shoulders are slumped forward, of the sadness in his eyes, as well as regret - and the lump in your throat threatens to bring tears to your eyes too.

"I didn't know that you liked me in that way. I wouldn't have agreed to the date if I had known."

"You don't have to say that out of pity. Am I that pathetic right now?" The hurt in his eyes is barely concealed, and it surely breaks something inside of you to see him like that. To see your cheerful and easy-going Tooru broken and self-conscious - and that because of you? When he literally has everything he could ever wish for-

"You are a world-known star, Tooru. You have the contact numbers of countless supermodels, you get invited to every single hot party, and you-"

"Wait, wait, I don't have the number of any model saved. I don't think I even have a single number of a woman in my phone - besides my mum and sister. And my manager. And also Shoyo's manager friend from high school- okay, I do have some women's numbers on my phone, but that's not the point. I'm not interested in any of them in that way. I'm used to focusing on one thing at a time - the ball when I'm playing, my goal... and...." His eyes stay glued to yours, the implication of his words clear. He has been focused on you only. No other person. Just you.

The honesty in his eyes makes your knees weak, and you feel like falling any second - but you're pretty sure that he would manage to catch you in that unlikely scenario thanks to his crazy reflexes and observing skills.

"I... Tooru - I," your breathing is erratic, your mind failing at voicing your feelings right now - but that's when you think action might help.

The bravery that suddenly rushes through you is probably rooted in the fact that Oikawa Tooru just confessed his feelings to you - and you let go of his hand, noticing how his eyes harden at the action and how his body makes an attempt to turn - and at that moment, it feels like one of his descriptions of how it feels when he's playing volleyball. Everything seems to be in slow motion - when you bring your hands to his shoulders, feel the muscles and stability that he exudes and then how his expression changes to a surprised and overwhelmed one, and then you basically jump into his face, taking one last deep breath before you press your lips against his. Your hands subconsciously claw into his collar, your movements stiff and awkward, your body not fully knowing what to do - but it takes Oikawa just the fraction of a second to bury a hand in your hair and to turn the kiss into a soft connection of your lips.

His arm wraps around your back and pulls you closer, so much closer, his lips against yours moving smoothly and gentle, causing a warmth to rush through your body - you feel electrified, warm, loved, and all because of the man right in front of you.

It feels like forever, but also too short when he finally pulls back. Oikawa exhales slowly and opens his eyes - and your knees suddenly feel like pudding when you notice the loving expression on his face that you're probably mirroring in more or less the same way.

"I'll tell Hajime that I lost my heart to another setter." You finally break the silence, and you notice that your hands still rest on his shoulders, but you have no intention of moving them away.

Oikawa grins at your words and swiftly tilts his face to press a quick peck to your lips that sends tingles through your whole body. You could definitely get used to this.

"Too bad for Tobio-kun." You raise your eyebrows at his words-

"How did you know his name?" You're convinced that someone like Oikawa knows a few setters, but still...

Oikawa just playfully rolls his eyes and scoffs before he answers.

"I'm sure Iwa-chan chose him to get a reaction of me. But I don't think that he is open to a relationship right now, he only focuses on his career."

"But aren't you the same?"

"Me? No."

He smiles- an honest and sincere smile- a smile that you adore so so much-

"I only focus on what I love- and that means you."