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mcytblr-archive · 1 month

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Early MCYTblr Interviews: tack-tick

today's interviewee is tack-tick, a pioneer of the "phistin" ship and DSMP fan since before the first election! below is a transcript of the interview.

Q: What was your overall time in MCYTblr like?

A: I'd say my overall time in Mcytblr could be described as finding diamonds in the rough. This fandom is defined by finding your group, sticking to them and if you're smart not really looking beyond that. I did look beyond that and saw a lot of discourse and such. I had a good time with my friends but I did get negatively affected by the discourse at times. It was kind of a toxic shithole but by God mcytblr was our shithole lol

Q: Do you remember any specific discourse that affected you, or was it just the overall culture around you?

A: As a Technoblade main, it was the discourse surrounding his character that messed with me. At the time, I was mutuals (none in the phistin palace dw guys) with some people who hated his character. I, as an anxious teenager, was very worried it would cause drama if I unfollowed them and my dash became a lot of those long negative essays about how he was an awful person and yknow the drill. It was mainly my own fault and my dash became signfigantly better once I realized no one would be offended of I unfollowed, blocked a bunch of tags, started up my own discord server and focused more on writing fanfic instead of doomscrolling. A good lesson in curating your dash of anything else. (Btw those former mutuals are fine people, we just had radically different tastes in what we liked and disliked about the Dream SMP)

Q: You mentioned the "phistin palace"-- before we get into that, would you like to explain the "phistin" rarepair itself?

A: Now we are cooking! So, Phistin is the ship of Kristin and Philza. It's main focus was on the scraps of lore that we had about their relationship which was Kristin was the immortal goddess of Death and they couldn't really see each other often but loved each other very much. I'd say it's main appeal was being one of the few ships that was just really stable in the Dream SMP compared to the Karlnapity polycule and whatever youd call Quackbur. Fun fact, I can't find the post now but if i remember correctly me and tumblr user Demonadelem helped name the pair Phistin. Although, that was ages ago so I could be misremebering

Q: Was the ship entirely within the SMP, or was it just the general ship name for the real-life couple?

A: It was both. Since Kristin didn't really stream on the dream smp, a lot of her personality had to be based on what Phil said about her and her other streams. Basically, lore about the ship was pulled from the SMP but the dynamics and personality was from both. You could play around with the dynamic if you focused on Kristin being a goddess

Q: With that basic information laid out-- what was the "phistin palace"?

A: The Phistin Palace was a discord server I founded in August of 2022. Phistin was a ship that was basically a side thing I did in fandom because my main focus was Technoblade and emerald duo stuff. I think if you're a Technoblade fan you're legally obligated to be a Philza fan and vice versa. I don't make the rules. So Phistin was something I did when I wanted a break from Technoblade as a way to practice romantic shipping.

Then Technoblade passed away and I didn't want to do anything with his character for a while so I focused completely on Phistin. However, when I tried to find any fics they were either a background ship with only one line or Kristin was already dead from a tragic disease who's main symptoms were lying daintily in bed. While I was writing my own long form Phistin focused fic, Two Birds if anyone read it, I got a comment that complimented me for "giving her an actual charatcer" and maaaan that is a very low bar to be praised for. So, I started the palace as a way to find other Phistin fans who actually cared about them beyond Kristin being angst fodder for SBI.

Q: Do you have any fond memories in specific of the "Phistin Palace" discord server?

A: Oh so many. During the Syndicate finale, three of us all liveblogged and freaked the fuck out when Kristin showed up for the first time in a minecraft skin on the server. I made on of those AI chatbot things that was popular for a bit and the bot was supposed to be the Kristin character. I asked if she had a pet and she said she has a gecko named Tim. The entire server instantly decided they would die for Tim and he's now an emote. The general chat is also named Tim Time Fucker. A mermaid AU that was made that the majority of the server contributed a lot of lore to we named it the Communist Mermaid AU because the server collectively owns it now. Many good moments there

Q: Beyond the Phistin Palace, are there any large community events that you remember/took part in, or did you mostly stick to your friend group?

A: I remember The Penis SMP of course. I never really took part in large community events but I did watch them happen. I read the Passerine chapter where Tommy died becasue my dash flipped out when that dropped. I'd also try to watch Sad-ist animatics live when I could. At most, Id make a meme during a stream that would rack up a couple hundred notes or one thousand if I was lucky A thousand was like once or twice I think

Q: You mentioned that you were also a Technoblade fan before you became more focused on Phistin-- was your experience in that side of the fandom any different?

A: It certainly had more content than Phistin did lol. I was never really in any Technoblade discords or anything but back in the day it was focused on emerald duo and being funny. or angsty. Nowadays, it's way less lively unfortunately. It's not as bad as in 2022 but Technoblade fancontent seems to be less foucsed on the character and more on memorials/remembrance. At some point, you run out of things to say and not a lot of people wanted to stay in a fandom that just felt weighed down by it all. I did leave so things could perk up someday but I don't think that's likely

Q: We've talked about the fandom and how it responds to content-- let's talk about the content itself. What were some of your favorite moments from the Dream SMP as a whole?

A: The Red Festival Technoblade stream was the first one I ever watched live so that's a good one. The stream where L'manberg getting blown up at the end of The Manberg Arc is iconic for an underrated reason. I don't know how many people remember but Phil was highly speculated to be on the Dream SMP someday. On the day of that stream, he started on his hardcore world, then stopped his stream and did his dramatic switch surprise entrance to enter the Dream SMP for the first time. Also Technoblade escaping the anvil and then killing Quackity with a toothpick was great. I've never liked watching Twitch streams on my Ipad so most of my favorite moments come from YouTube

Q: Were you sad that Phistin wasn't a more popular ship, or did you enjoy the tight-knit community?

A: I was sad Kristin kept friggin dying, the poor woman lol. Sometimes I wish it was a bit more popular but the community was nice. The main issue is Phistin stuff started tanking hard on Ao3 in terms of numbers and tended to get misstagged quite a bit

Q: You've brought up a few times that Kristin was often fridged, disregarded, or replaced (on several notable occasions, by an actual Samsung fridge). How did you feel about it? Do you think there was any particular reason for it?

A: I mean, I really don't like it but I understand it. A lot of people loved that SBI angst but also wanted to write all the SBI. So the obvious solution is to kill off Kristin for free angst and keep all the SBI in the story. Passerine is a fic i respect a lot but it also kickstarted this trend to be honest. Kristin herself also didn't physically show up in the lore a lot so it was really tricky to write her. When I first wrote her, it was intimidating because I didn't have many fics to look at as good examples.

Was it shitty and a bit sexist? Yes but I don't think sexism was the only reason. Kristin's character was in a unique situation compared to the others. I have no problem with Kristin dying in a fic. The main issue is that often came with her personality being reduced to good mom and that's it. I'm not gonna call a bunch of probably first time writers evil sexists when I know what it's like to not know how to write her and being scared you'll get her completely wrong.

Q: Since it's come up, would you mind giving a quick rundown of what exactly the fanfic "Passerine" is? (As well as any memories you have relating to it!)

A: If i'm being honest, I only read the chapter where Tommy got murked. What I know from osmosis is it's an SBI royalty AU that had some kind of meta twist at the end and it was very sad. It also got a sad-ist animatic made out of it which jesus christ I'd give for that. I tried it but the writing style was too wordy for my liking. It's mainly important for Phistin history even though Kristin wasn't in it. No, The Fridge died in it but everyone just kinda assumed it was Kristin for long enough it got the ball rolling. Also I think Niki read it on a stream

Q: Before we wrap up, is there anything else you remember about MCYTblr/the DSMP that you'd like to talk about?

A: The DSMP sure was the minecraft server of all time that is defined as a server that was doomed from the start. Whoever makes a video essay on it is gonna have a hell of a job. 10/10 experience would not recommenced. Hello to the Phistin Palace if any of you read this :D

Mcytblr is getting more chill with shipping from what I've seen. Thank God, keeping making Philza Minecraft kiss those men and his wife.

Also SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLADE

#early mcytblr interviews #Volume 16 #tack-tick

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thehoundwrites · 2 years

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In honor of mother's day

"Mothers day gifts"

Sevika + Grayson react to Fem!reader getting them mothers day "presents."

MDNI 18+ ■ TW: Nsfw, Kinks: Mommy kink, choking, collars, misuse of cupcakes, powerplay. I have mommy issues I think is a good warning lmao enjoy

Tagging: @nora-xox (make sure to read their fics btw) @colourfulkidglitter @midnightsk13s @trashbod @biphrogg @trashbod @thebleccbird @petitepersephone

Sevika:

Nights with Sevika were usually rough kinky and passionate, normally she'd want you to use masculine honorifics but she had a feeling you were up to something smirks and giggles so when she came home on mother's day and saw rose petals she just chuckled and went along with it.

You got her a heart shaped chocolate box and a burgandy collar that said mommy's along with lingerie or nothing "Hi mommy I hope you like your presents" she wasn't opposed to being called mommy especially not if her princess got all dolled up just for her.

Honestly she wouldnt even eat the chocolates, they'd end up going on the nightstand for midnight snacks or when either of you got the munchies. She will absolutely soak tonight up, she'd end up edging you a lot more than usual because "you just look so cute when you begging for mommy like a good girl" lots of doting honestly she'll want you to do more for her since it is mommy's day.

She'd end up wanting you to eat her out on you knees eager to please her. Youd ride her strap so she can see your tits bounce "cmon babygirl you get me all worked up so you gotta take care of mommy for her special day. You're such a pretty slut doll, you look so good with your mouth dripping like that. Does mommy taste good?"

She'll play with you as long as you'd let her, she'd want so many things from you like kisses on all her sore muscles because mommy is sore from work, you to take her boots off, to take you from behind and hold you up by your waist face pressed against the wall, and youd be such a good girl for mommy.

She'll probably be more /gentle/ teasing and adoring rather than rough and primal. Its worse she has you heart skipping beats with the way she's talking to you.

Will wear that name out, but will end up wanting you to call her mommy more often good luck.

(yall are arguing on the color like sev doesn't have a collection of shapes sizes and colors she likes the way the pink looks on her but usually uses her thick purple one, but if you're a freak she'll pull her /other/ ones out if you ask nicely. )

Grayson:

She was actually rather a bit annoyed, it was embaressing for you you were lucky you did it when she got home, you got her some baked sweets whether you baked them or bought them she didn't expect it but she felt like she should've.

The minute she got home from work and you brought your sweets out in nothing but an apron that said kiss the cook" there was a big smile on her face. Her eyes stayed soft but shamelessly wandered across the view infront of her taking her time observing every beautiful curve of your body.

"Can you give mommy a twirl, my dove?" She wanted to see your bare ass, won't say it like that but you knew and she knew you knew. You obliged but knew she was gonna play this out for a long time.

She didn't even change out of her uniform her leather gloves were still on her hands when she pulls you onto her lap, and offered her a cupcake. You held it up for her to taste instead she held your hand gentle but enough to keep it still as she licks an stripe of frosting off the top of it, making you hold it for her.

She'd feed you as well the frosting somehow getting all over your face and she'd apologize and put the tray down wiping the frosting off your face with her leather glove and licking it teasingly and telling you to try it. Expecting Expecting to suck on the leather on her fingers.. She'll pull you to straddle her lap your untying your apron so your naked ontop of her "cmon princess grind for mommy"

She'd have you mewling and begging she'll overstimulate you and edge you until you stop her, her glove hands all over your skin she'd finger you with them on if you'd let her. At some point she have you over the table your arms cuffed behind you back eating you out from behind like she hasn't eaten anything in days.

There's much less talking than she usually does, just humphs and grunts and hums and chuckles. She's more passionate less talking tonight, even though she usually is passionate,, shed usually take her time worshipping your body but tonight she wants to make you cum over and over until the only thing you can think about is your mommy.

Notes: it's too late to matter just like my mom :D! Happy mothers day I hope these mommies will help ease your troubled minds.

Part 2 will be Cassandra and Ambessa

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buckieduckie · 1 year

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why i thought michael wheeler was gay before i even knew what stranger things was about - why i decided to watch ST in the first place

ok ok ok so yes i know this sounds crazy and insane and impossoble even. i mean you have to watch a show to know if the characters are gay, right? wrong.

But how'd you even know who mike was before you watched ST?

becauuuseee honeyyyy, ur a kid on the internet, you watch videos on youtube, lots of those will unfortunately be top 10 videos cause ur like 10 or 11 or sum shit. anyways, you see clips from popular shows and medias. some of those are stranger things clips and you get half way familiar with the characters so you know who millie bobby brown is and you know what mikes face looks like.

anyways, this brings me to my next... statement? point? anyways... so yeah, i cant remember what video i was watching or anything, but a clip from stranger things comes up. i knew it was ST cause it was popular and shit n duhhhh. ANYWAYS the clip was El Dumping Mike's Ass ™ and, i cant remember if it was the clip saying it or my own gaydar going off, but i think it was my gaydar, BUT i imeditately clocked mike as gay. i was what.... 6th grade? maybe? at the most.

anyways, i watched mike getting dumped and somehow, someway, i just knew. i just imediately knew. and yknow... part of me thinks it was just the fact that back then because i hadnt watched the show, i was comepletely utterly totally unbiased. like my slate was clean. i knew nothing of anything besides that clip. maybe it is more obvious than we think....

after that i just kinda forgot about it for a couple years untilllll....

OK so then... On to my next point of disgussion.

Why did I start watching Stranger Things?

OK OK OK OK OK SO- okkayy saurrrrrrrrr basically, i have a friend. her name is tina. (thats her nickname ok dw im not like leaking personal info chill) anyways. she sat with me in art last year, and i knew from sitting with her that year and knowing her in the previous years that she was a really big fan of stranger things. sooooooo yeah i sat with her in art and i guess she knew that i hadnt watched stranger things, so like... she realllllyyyyyy wanted me to watch stranger things she was like "omg you should totally watch stranger things youd like it so much theyre coming out with a new season this summer im so excited" so i was like omggggg but yk shes always trying to make me watch shit n ykyk, whatever.

one day she convinces me or- wait no i think she forced me, and i kinda like- caved or smt. anyways, we end up watching the first episode on her phone during art class. lmao slay. so we finish the first episode and im thinking it was really good like wow but my ass probably wont watch the second episode cause im terrible at getting commited like wow

and ok- so herereeeee, here comes the kicker- the slingshot into ST. like why i actually like continued to watch.

i was still in my h<3rt stopper (censoring cause it would be annoying if this was in their tag) hyperfixation, or more like i was just getting out of my HS hyperfixation. I watched the series 3 times so i was getting a bit burnt out, so i needed something else to fan over, something else to watch. but not anything, it had to be gay. because lord KNOWS we do NOT have enough gay shit to watch. like i need it. and- im sorry- but not crappy indie films (disclaimer- indie films are NOT all crappy, theres just... some .... iykyk💀) or weird.... weird ones that make no sense and are just there for like... sex and honestly i have no fucking clue.

no i needed GAYURIJRH anyways,,,,, so i dm Tina and im like "omg tinaaaa helllpp meeee 👹 i need gay stuff to watch theres no good ones 😭" and so she gives me a list of shows with gay characters in them, and then shes like "Will from Stranger Things is gay lmao" (pre season 4 btw) so im like, in my mind, im like "Cool 😃 Mike Wheeler from Stranger Things is gay 😃" no duckiebuckie she said will- "Mike Wheelr is gay 😃" *queue past memories and preconceived notions of the past now flodding forward*

so. i waited a couple days. then i watched the first episode again this time with my little brother and like the rest of season 1 (not all at once) and i, fully, utterly, comepletely, totally, full heartedly believed that Mike was gay (i mean he is but thats not the point right now) like- i just, believed it. i just simply took it as fact. literally no one ever actually told me Mike was gay. i had just like, thought it was canon. like i actually thought it was canon. like genuinley. its so fucking funny thinking about it now because i really actually dont think i ever saw anyone or anything actually stating Mike was gay or anything, like my own seld really had made it canon. like wow. icon. again, it couldve been that one video, but i kinda like also dont. YKWWWW- I LIKE- ok so i even went to the point of like, during or after watching the first episode, imagining a little coming out scenario LATER THAT SEASON with mike telling Dustin and Lucase (cant remember if- WAIT OH MY GODDDD I JUST REMEMBERED- WILL WASNT IN THE SENARIO I WAS IMAGINING BECAUSE MIKE WAS COMING OUT TO LUCAS AND DUSTIN AS GAY AND HE LIKED WILL- YALL I REALLY HAVE BEEN A BYLER SHIPPER SINCE THE BEGINNING HUH 🥹🥹 (btw i would like to mention that this was less of a head canon and more of a "oh this is probably gonna happen like this is whats happening" kinda thing LMFAOOOOOO

and then mike kissed el and i was like what the fuck 😟

and then from the end of season 1-4 v1 and v2 i was... convinced of the opposite 😔 💔 but HEY YOU CANT BLAME ME I WAS LIKE GA BACK THEN AND LIKE MIKE AND EL KISSED N SHIT WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK

and then the byler heart to hearts started happening and i was like- oh wait- oh honey, mikey dear your gay is showing right now. LIKE I WAS A GA WHO THOUGHT MIKE WAS STRAIGHT AND I COULD STILLLL SEEEE THE FRUITINESS LIKE HONEEYYYYYYYYYYYY FRIENDS DONT TALK TO FRIENDS LIKE THAT but i digress.

anyways. then mike said i love you blah blah blah yk like yeah hes straight but i wasnt even really thinking about the subject that much

ANYWAYS what convinced me once again that mike wheeler was gay?

well, mainly @kaypeace21 's analysis about why they think mike is not Bi, but gay, yk, the iconic one. but what started inspection in the first place when i was a steadfast "wills 100% gay but unfortunately mike is 100% straight and its unrequited and i dont ship byler because its just a lil funky and weird because mike is OBVIOUSLY straight blah blah blah i mean its cute but its dEFINITELY not real blah blah" believer? because.... of ONE fateful tiktok.

Enter Tina again. were at her house, and we decide to watch stranger things tiktok compilations and crack videos n stuff cause yk that stuff is really funny and great.

So we see this one tiktok compilation and its stranger thins ofc and the title says (very gay) and shes like, ya wanna watch this one? and im like (my ass had already seen this same complilation, but i remembered the greatness that it held) so i agree.

so previously, i had watched the video and just kinda ignored the byler stuff cause i didnt ship (although i would like to make a disclaimer that i was not a mileven shipper either. i kinda just thought they were like cute and yk oh theyre the main couple cool ig it is what it is like this is how its gonna be ig) anyways, but this time (i think we had like briefly discussed mikes sexuality earlier, and decided he was prolly definitely just straight (but discussing it in the first place is like, kinda telling lmfao)) so it was on my mind. so this time, when the byler vid came on, i payed more attention. it was a rink o mania edit. and i saw his facial expression. i saw that fucking facial expression.

so me and Tina™ paused the video, and we were like "ok... so like, I think Mike is straight... but like that facial expression he just made. but like hes definitely straight right? yeah... but that expressionnnnnnn.... but like yeah, right? yeah.. anyways...." and then we watched the rest of the video.

and then pinterest came in and it was one piece of evidence after another and then the Kaypeace post.

the rest is history.

My Point?

The whole reason I started watching Stranger Things in the first place was because I thought Mike was gay. If Mike Wheeler is not gay, I will have watched Stranger Things for nothing. yes, i stayed and kept watching even after m*l*v*n was established because stranger things is just so good, how could you not? but my point still stands. The whole reason for me even deciding to keep watching after the first episode was because i thought mike was gay. and it seems that we've come full circle now, because once again, i believe mike wheeler is gay and my enjoyment (and ST) depends on Mike being gay.

tagging @aemiron-main because like idk i feel like you would find this interesting? amusing? maybe? lol

tagging @l0v3c0r3e @adorewillbyers cause i feel like yall would get it 🥺 also i need someone to read this shit because i did not just spend an hour and a half writing this for like 0 notes like no maaaaaaaaaaam

@the-homosphere cause they dared me to

#god this was so much longer that i intended #but yeah #yall get it right #sheesh #ive been a mike is gay truther since the BEGINNNINGGGGG #SINCE BEFORE I WAS A BYLERRRRR #LIKE BROOO #thats saying something right there #mike wheeler is gay #mike wheeler i know what you are #byler #stranger things

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dumbdomb · 6 months

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Hey just a heads up, your posts are showing up in the intersex main tag searches. I'm all for the writing and stuff, it's just that I figured youd want a heads up where your posts are being seen

you say you're supportive of my writing, yet you're voicing a concern that intersex people may see the posts i've intentionally tagged as "intersex nsft" to include intersex people. how is that being "all for the writing and stuff"? why are you worried about intersex people seeing my intersex inclusive writing? oh, and btw...

if you don't know the difference between SEARCH Results and TAGGED Results, that's not my concern. i do not control the current version of search functionality on this website.

i use the TAG "intersex nsft" and if you search by that tag, you will only see posts with that specific tag. if you run a general search, the webbed site will go "intersex" "nsft" AND include every single word and emoji, likewise. this is how search works now, and has been so for some time. nobody has control over what the search algorithm chooses to include in general search results. please search TAGGED Results ONLY if you want to refine your results, and perhaps use the blocklist in settings to avoid any posts with specific tags- if you're uncomfortable with any posts being tagged "intersex nsft" for example.

learn how to use the site before making your personal issues someone else's problem.

the settings you use, or choose not to, are not my concern or responsibility in any way. i have properly tagged my posts. there is nothing wrong with "intersex nsft" content existing! you don't need any more information about me, but i'll add that i do not claim being intersex bc i do not have a full diagnosis. i am personally being seen to determine whether i simply have pcos or something else, and i haven't been diligent in my medical treatments. it's a slow process for me. however, it is fine to still tag posts that are gender neutral, or can be read in inclusive ways, as content for people who identify as intersex. i welcome sexual variants on my blog and hope people of all genders, as well as genderless identities, feel welcomed and invited here. 🏳️‍🌈

i do not concern myself with the general search results on here, nor with anything i post showing up in someone's orbit, based on likes, etc... That is all processed through algorithms and not the way Most people know how to use this site. we have tags for what we like, tags for hate, tags for gif makers, tags for art, tags for writing, tags for general use, tags for cosplay, tags for roleplay, tags for sfw only, tags for anything... please, do not bother me about your own disappointment in how the site functions now. we all know it's being held together by duct tape and weirdness.

if you don't like tumblr, and don't want to use the settings they provide to make your own experience here more enjoyable, then try closing the window and uninstalling the mobile app. you don't need to shame or guilt people, or whatever veiled threat this ask was intended to be, for what i've posted with appropriate use of tags.

i did not tag my writing as "intersex". full stop.

#intersex nsft #anonymous #answered #seriously? i have been here too long to be dealing with the amount of total ignorance people keep bringing me.#btw. just so you have an idea of what my intersex tag looks like:#intersex

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pepprs · 8 months

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dont worry abt responding to my messages!! they can be little trinkets for u to keep forever if u wanna :)))

dear anon… how could i not respond to THESE!!!!!!!!!! 😭💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 you are the sweetest kindest most WONDERFUL soul. it is an honor to receive these beautiful letters and i hope you know how much i cherish each and every one. not just the words but the adventures you take me on and write up for the two of us!!! and the beauty and magic you help me to see in the world around me and the peace and love and love and love you conjure for me in moments when i cant find it or feel it so easy!!!! like idk i know i have no idea who you are outside of being dear anon and i only answer asks once in a blue moon but it truly means the world to me. TRULY.

your writing feels like all the best things, all the things i love most. like leaf piles in the fall and the pikmin bloom soundtrack (btw if you dont play that already i HIGHLY recommend it to you specifically, i think u would really like it and tbh you sending me these letters has the same vibe as my pikmin bringing me postcards from their adventures :"~DDDD!!! if you ever do join it please lmk i would LOVE to be friends and send you postcards and do adventures together!!!!) and frosting on cupcakes and twinkly dust motes in the sunlight and cumulus clouds and dogwood flowers and the way things made of glass refract rainbows and SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT SUNLIGHT. and even that isnt cutting it. how magical it all is. like i wish i wasnt so exhausted so i could express it better but it truly is so... idk. NOSTALGIC! COZY! HOME!!!!!

so... in order to try to articulate it (and also show my thanks / return the favor / etc.), i am sending this letter along with a care package knitted with word and song and magic and light. enclosed please find:

wind chimes that sing like the sun hitting the lake (also i REALLY want to get a butterfly hair clip!!! i cant wear hair clips or anything else fancy in my hair bc of my mask headbands but id love to have one in case im ever able to wear it in the future 🥹)

a heart-shaped pebble from brighton, to add to your collection (btw i LOVE the part about how you lost them a long time ago but you love them so you remember what they look like. WAUGH. gut punch GUT PUNCH IN THE BEST WAY!!!!)

a mug for hot chocolate, so we can share some together when it gets cold again -- decorated with hand-painted stars in all colors!

a tiny needle to knit your sundust satchels -- like the kind youd find in pixie hollow or the tale of desperaux or something (also both things that have dear anon vibes to me and are also DEEPLY nostalgic for me!)

a recipe for starfait, with illustrations!! (also i LOVE that idea for a replacement for "tesscore"!! but i may end up using that for my personal tag on my undertale / deltarune blog instead bc its so perfect (and also im HONORED that u associate that with me 😭😭😭😭))

a crown and wand for you to wear to match the fairy queen mouse while you write the same kind of magic and comfort she brings!

a packet of magical flower seeds that sprout the most whimsical sweet-smelling flowers, with petals that are soft to the touch!

a hand-woven scarf in your favorite color threaded with shiny silver strands, like comets streaming through the sky (also i am SO late to say this but UNO REVERSE CARD re: your new years wish to me which is genuinely making me lumpthroated and teary eyed reading it again in AUGUST. you are the sweetest EVER. and also ive never played journey before but ive been interested in it for years!!! i'll have to check it out and/or watch a playthrough!)

a hummingbird sculpture on a long stick for you to plant in your garden among the flowers, to sing to them and to you! (also RE: your question about your vocal range -- it just means that you can cover a little over two octaves (the number after the letter is the octave it's in, and each octave is a span of c-d-e-f-g-a-b-c -- so your range starts at about halfway through the third octave and goes to halfway through the fifth!) i think your range is about the same as mine iirc so we can hum along with the hummingbird and all three follow each other's notes :"~D <3)

a golden acorn on a thread for you to wear as a necklace when we go to the bird tea party! (by the way, have you ever read the book ""until the last acorn "when the last acorn is found?" it's a BEAUTIFUL book and it made me cry reading it! i think you and the acorn people would get along very, very well!!)

a lantern made of jelly moonlight and silver foil stars (see: ilomilo chapter 4 :"~D) for you to carry on your walks through the dim nights (you can hang the stars in the sky, and they'll brighten the world and light at your touch!)

a copy of one of my favorite books of all time, "the ten thousand doors of january," which is so much about wedging cracks open into other worlds, and something i think you might like very much / resonate with too!!

a big, big hug.

dear anon: THANK YOU. for all these words and for being you. i dont know how i got so lucky to have you sending me these little trinkets but i will most CERTAINLY keep them forever. i hope you experience all the peace and love and love and love to infinity. may you always know and shine with the light you bring and the light you are.

#purrs #asks #dear anon #<- im making you a tag now!!! i can’t believe i didn’t have one already!!#tess answers asks 2023 #(i had to take screenshots of some of these bc they werent showing up in my desktop inbox for some reason? but... this officially #concludes my ask-answering spree for today! tysm to everyone who sent me an ask i love u all so so much <3 <3 <3 i may rb stuff a little #more before going to bed but... (preemptively) goodnight and sweet dreams 🫂💗💗💗💗#save #comfort #tesscore #(ALSO BTW: i completely forgot abt adding alt text to the posts where i put screenshots of asks (like this one) so i'll try to go back and #do that tmrrw after work!!)

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amaskofmyownface · 5 years

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#me looking on the ishimondo tag bc i got into drv1 and seeing all the straight cis girls #talking abt how theyre sinning by shipping them and just generally being disgusting #and seeing them talk abt them like theyre gross but in a sexy way #begone cishet!#i want to enjoy smth please let me enjoy it #i cant believe u guys get to screw w everything and then still #call yourselves allies JUST BC u ship a handful of gay coded men #and if god forbid a real gay couple was in front of ur eyes #youd harrass them into feeling uncomfortable in their own spaces.#btw i am a gay trans man so please do not tell me its not my place #people like you are also the people who call trans men (soft bois) and (smol beans) so i wouldnt #expect you to be even a little bit mature abt this sort of shit #i wanted to come into the tag and see some nice stuff of my new favorite guys #but you cant let lgbtq+ people have anything without saying its (sinful) or immediately #fetishizing it #/:#im losing my shit rn lmao #cishets do NOT interact #ishimondo #drv1 #dr #trigger happy havoc #danganronpa #discourse

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thechekhov · 2 years

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Y'know, i was gonna warn you about the next few episodes, cause i personally wouldve liked a warning, i was watching these live (i had just caught up, i was really excited) and it gets so much rougher and i had to take a break for like 2 weeks

Unfortunately I don't know what triggers or content warnings youd like or if you even care about stuff like that? (Don't mean that in a mean way btw) or if you'd take that as a spoiler??

But uhh, hold on to your butts...

Truth be told I'm already ahead of the episode reactions I post because I queue them up instead of posting right away. I actually finished 131 yesterday, but that react isn't set to post until a few days later, so....... Yeeeerp.

I'll be adding some CWs to the tags for sure, though, because I know exactly what you mean. That stuff doesn't bother me, I have a very healthy ability to compartmentalize fictional peril vs. real life stuff, but I wouldn't want to blindside someone else with it...

Hopefully no one who is reading my reacts is going in blind - because they're full of spoilers... But maybe some people are?

#chekhov answers #critical role

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gendryw4ters-blog · 7 years

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url playlist tag game

so i got tagged in this by @ruinsrebuilt and @jenbarber and like!! thanks so much for the tags cuties aah i love this a whole lot!! thank you <3

Groove Is In The Heart - Deee-Lite

E.S.T - White Lies

Nonsense In The Dark - Filthy Dukes

Deadcrush - alt-J

Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs

You’re Beautiful - James Blunt

Where Is My Mind - Pixies (i couldnt NOT include this okay)

4 In The Morning - Gwen Stefani

There She Goes - Sixpence None The Richer

Everytime We Touch - Cascada

Running In The ‘90s (Sytricka Vaporwave Remix)

Starz In Their Eyes - Just Jack

and i am tagging!! @ralphspina, @aces-low, @alyseofwonderland, @renelemaires, and @alexpenkala !! sorry if youve already been tagged! but make more lists and tag me in them anyways >:)))) <3

#me af #tag game thingamajig #TBH i could have done 2 lists. i wanted to BUT it would maybe have been A Bit Much #also i didnt think i knew the gwen stefani song but then i played it and i was like #you know that gif of tom from parks n rec thats been floating around #where he turns to the camera and BEAMS that was me when i heard the opening strings i was like oh fuck I KNOW THIS #i feel like this is a pretty decent niamh mix like- like it encapsulates most of the variety of my vibes maybe i hope #tbh one of the Es was going to be Ebeneezer Good so thats also a song worth thinking of EVEN THO its wildly inappropriate probably #either way its a fuckin tune i will never not love the kind of weird 90s rave scene #these are all also songs that i dont think ive used in other playlists?? at least not to my knowledge which is why i chose em #fuck i really struggled to find a 4 song and then now. just now (cuase im tagging and editing this in real time in my drafts) jsut now i #remembered the fidlar song 40oz on Repeat THAT I LOVE but i think its in my lieb list and also i like the gwen im feelin gwen today #this was actually so much harder than youd think oh man cause im real nitpicky about songs #SORRY ABOUT THE STATE OF THE TAGS ALSO #the james blunt song is fucking awful btw but it holds some good meme-ories

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maplekeene · 5 years

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[image id: Tags from @jumpboy-rembrandt saying “#but theyre cute so like?? fck off #(i can delete this if youd like btw!! i just. like indruck.) #indruck” end id]

You’re good you don’t have to delete this!! It’s totally okay to be reblogged. Also: your first tag is SO IMPORTANT. Just let people have harmless fun!

I have some THOUGHTS about indruck and Duck shipping under the cut because I really do have a LOT to say and I’m somewhat using this tag as an excuse.

i know I didn’t really give “real reasons” on the first post but like. Shipping gay couples that are older or middle-aged makes me, a gay person, feel so good. Like. It helps me see that when I’m older, when I’m less conventionally attractive and wrinkly and getting “out of my prime”, I can still have love.

There’s so much media that just denies the idea that people who’re older than their 30s can find or be in love, and so having characters that I can see together makes me feel like I, too, can still find love at that age, that I can still be happy.

Older gay couples never get enough representation in media and to make our own makes me feel like I won’t be alone the instant I get old, because there’s still a chance for me to find love. Gay couples are so often shown as only young and attractive people and so its wonderful to have something to look forward to instead of thinking now is my only chance.

This is one of the reasons I get... a little angry when I see people headcanon Duck as aromantic or asexual. I can completely understand someone wanting to project onto a character they like, but at the same time, older people are never allowed to have fun and be in love. In media they’re always shown as either unhappily trapped in a marriage, or not even looking for love.

Labeling all older characters as unable to feel romantic attraction is a bad habit that a lot of younger people fall into. Especially when said character has quite a bit to suggest they might be gay (re: Duck calling himself a bear, Justin knowing that bear is a term used by gay men). Some people don’t flirt with the women around them, some people are socially anxious, some people are middle aged, and it doesn’t mean they’re aromantic.

Aromantic people definitely need more representation in media, but not when that representation would take away from older gay people. I wish I had a link to that campaign all about how our love does not fade as we get older. Our love tends to get stronger! Older people are just as capable of love, and labeling an older character as aromantic and asexual is always going to set off alarm bells for me. Older people are just as capable of love and sexual relationships as anyone else.

I also get alarm bells set off whenever anyone needs an “explanation” for where something, like a ship or popular headcanon, came from. Sometimes it’s just born from joy. To me, I saw Duck and Indrid interact for the first time, and I thought there was potential there. I loved the potential behind someone who could see the future, and someone who was burdened with it. Seer and Chosen One. They fit together so well in my head!

And even now, that Duck is mundane, I still see it there. The many times Indrid asked specifically to talk to Duck over the phone, the riff about whether or not Duck wanted eggnog when offered, Duck saving Indrid at the tree and reassuring him that no matter what, they would stop the horrible futures from occurring. It’s soft, and sweet, and so natural. It feels like a real relationship blooming. Those all came without Duck needing to be Chosen.

It’s a wonderful idea, too! Duck didn’t want being Chosen to define him, but it did, and when that was taken away from him, he was scared. He’s still scared. He’s cowardly, he runs from fate, he runs from danger. So does Indrid. They both love the Earth, they love the nature and the people, they want to protect others but they’re cowardly and fear for their own safety. They have so much in common, it’s incredible. Their personalities play off each other flawlessly. They have fantastic potential as a couple!

I also see a lot of work that shows them together in very out of character ways, partially due to people wanting to see certain aspects of a relationship and simply choosing the nearest pairing to put it on, but I won’t get into that now, because I could go on forever and make a whole separate post about that.

Anyways. I love indruck! I try to be modest, and I’d love to give the credit of indruck to other people as well, but they’ve all pushed the credit back onto me? So I guess I invented this ship, technically. I have a lot of love for it in my heart. Its very good! It’s got potential, it’s got good canon interactions already, and it’s just very sweet and nice. It’s something that I can always look at and it warms my heart, and it’s so very nice to have that.

TLDR; Older gay couples need more representation in media, aromantics need representation too but not by pinning it on gay characters, and Indrid and Duck are just really good together and have a lot that works well between them!

I have other reasons why I ship them but this post has gotten way long already so I’ll cut it here. If you read all of this! Hell yea! You’re awesome!

#and that's that on that!#indruck #amnesty #duck newton #indrid cold #long post #corinne overanalyzes taz

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killapunk · 5 years

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the weirdest, NO, evilest, person i have every worked for

no real names are used in this piece. i refer to other weirdos and freaks throughout, sorry its a long read (i didnt intend for this) but its one of those things ya gotta settle into and believe me its a wild ride. this saga covers over three years of drama btw.

tw: mental health mentioned (inc panic attacks), chronic illness mentioned and mild sex references

i am going to single out jess. shes more evil than a weirdo but weirdo nonetheless. pete is a secondary weirdo in this saga.

i work in retail for a long time. a fashion store to be precise. i started out in one store but transferred when i started studying at uni and remained there for the majority of the retail career. during my time there i had three managers, the longest one, who is also a fucking weirdo was pete. now before i worked with pete, before he transferred to our store. i didnt like pete when i started working with him, he annoyed the fuck outta me. but my life circumstances changed and my mental health issues got very bad AND i was diagnosed with cfs so i had to disclose it w him. turns out… he was fucking mental too, very understanding, super chill. we liked the same shit. great boss. 11/10 every time.

he would be my reference for every job ever…

…but. he started gettin involved w jess. now to jess. the main character in this piece.

jess had started at the company around the same time as me and we were always on the same level until the last year or so. jess was a bit older than the average age of staff at the store (17-20) and was 23 when this drama started. she had a college diploma, went onto do something semi-successful but related to her HND. but blew all her money, moved back into her parents and started working at the store part time and then onto full time. she was like…the perfect retail girl? small, cute, slim, bubbly… always looked cool in her uniform. customers loved the fuck out of her.

jess had a bf when i first started and pete had a longstanding gf. jess and her bf ended things abt 4 or 5 months before pete and his gf. but i remember they started gettin cushy around about this time. im not sure if its cos im v sympathetic towards pete (a true kind soul who i hold v dearly in my heart) but even tho youd be thinking ‘boss abuses his power’ …jess was and still is fuckin manipulative and he has longstanding mental health issues and i just think she sorta got the ball rollin’. pete and his gf didn’t seem on good terms, i dunno the full story but it seemed like they should have broken a long time before the did.

i think the fortnight before pete and his gf broke up they were spotted hanging out together near where she lived. it was this hush hush thing that everyone giggled abt cos there was at the time talk they were fuckin. when it got out, after his breakup jess said she was ‘just being a friend’ cos he was ‘going through a tough time’.

jess got promoted to keyholder even though she didnt really (at the time) have the skills or confidence to be a keyholder. and then she started to try and fuckin control the work. back during this time, everyone who worked at the store, minus literally 3 people, had worked for the company for at least a year. the store ran very well, we were always in profit. nothing went wrong. but. she started changing processes because it 'made things easier when she was opening’. like. she made everyone tally the amount of people they served in the fitting room in one box and tally the amount of things people left behind so she could make a sales chart. idk if that’s normal in other stores but like? it was just nuts and impossible to do.we always put deliveries away out the package but not folded in a particular way. she made everyone tag and (where relevant) hang items bc she had to pick everything in the morning.

she became friends w most of the girls, including one of the supervisors. they ruled the workplace. it was a total gossip mill. she gaslit the fuck outta people. one already less-popular girl at work ended up quitting cos she kept blaming her for fuck ups, she kept getting write ups and it was impating her mental health. she spun people against her. less popular girl spoke up and called her a bully and jess acted all defensive and said she wasn’t a bully bc shed been bullied before? jess continued to fuck up the workplace. next she turned on two people in her own clique. one tbh, i think she was jealous of bc jess had always wanted to be a teacher and this gal was training to be one. the other girl was v like jess, just not a bitch… strongwilled, liked control. anyway, drama got to the point where they had to quit. waay too much drama for this textpost. at this point others started to notice n work became hostile. jess moved her girlgang clique to one of the original clique girls, a different supervisor and the other two full time staff members.

pete obv didn’t listen to people coming to him, as store manager being like… hey… there’s this major clique problem and he’d be like ‘nah everyone is just friends, jess is a bit insecure but yno things are good, people quit, its just retail. fuck it.’ jess accused everyone who didn’t get on w her as being a terrible person. those legit words. like. if someone said it was a shame x, y or z left shed rebut, nah they were shit at their job, they were a shit person. honestly. EVERYONE. was a bad person. even the nicest people in the world were the worst person, the worst at the job. she was a good person, she liked the good people. she HAD BEEN BULLIED AND WOULD NEVER BULLY. she threw the anxiety word around a lot.

once we had a staff night out and i got left alone with jess and pete at the end of the night in this terrible lil bar as i waited for someone to pick me up. this is a good point to mention jess was always weirdly jealous cos i was close to pete. fucking ridic considering he was 14 years older than me and you know my fucking boss??? this night, i was sitting right next to pete, we were both drinking, jess wasn’t (cos she likes to be in control, she even said it), he had his arm around me and was whispering something into my ear that was such a non-thing i don’t even remember. she got her phone out, started texting. he excused himself and when he returned he sat beside her. it was fucking nuts. i couldn’t believe my eyes. we had to basically carry pete out of the bar. jess said to me she was gonna drive him home cos it was on the way to hers (spoiler! it was not!). myself and pete did the open the next day. he came in wearing the same clothes. i mean, he could have just passed out and had to rush to work when he woke up. but. this guy went out a lot. he never repeated an outfit. i think jess took advantage of a very drunk him. similarly, on another night out, jess promised to drive someone home. said person got too drunk and thew up. jess refused to take them home and called them embarrassing, she gave the space in her car to pete.

i had a major bad evening shift at work concerning another staff member, kaylee. a gal who just rubbed me up the wrong way, and who didn’t like me. ill never know why but it was just one of those things where anytime i was on shift w her she would nitpick and bitch about me and just… make me feel not v good. she was possibly the laziest and rudest person i had ever worked with but someone got away with it?

i used her as a way to talk to pete about the general problems in the store (jess). and…it was fuckin surreal. i told him abt kaylee. i told him i thought jess was controlling but kinda laid off a bit like ‘i get she thinks shes doing it for good’ etc. i padded it out w a few other rly petty issues abt the store. i was actually really upset, kinda numb from life to properly let out my emotions. and then. he started cry on me. like this full-on grown man having a panic attack in front of me when i was 19, fucked on diazepam i should have never been prescribed. to this day i visualise it. me and pete were v close at this point, and like, he didn’t mention jess too much – asked me about the other girl and other issues when i came to him. we spoke about personal shit, all but jess. i kinda wonder if he didn’t have the panic attack if i would have told him his under the radar relationship w her was not on?

and then. pete sold me out in the name of jess. idk the full ins and outta everything but he had to confront the drama once and for all cos our figures were so low so he decided to blame it all on kaylee. from my understanding of the situ from a lot of ‘he said she said’ bs, pete had this big meeting w kaylee. was like. 1. do ur job right and 2. stop being rude and unapproachable. the thing is, although kaylee is rude shes one of these ppl who most ppl really liked, not in a jess/regina george theyre scared of you way but…like they thought she was a tv character and she was funny and honest. so i think she confronted some obvious allies, and jess told her, according to another staff member, that i complained about her. after hearing this i obvious went to pete and tbh, acted pretty dramatic (cos if you haven’t fucking learned already THIS STORE WAS FULL OF DRAMA QUEENS). as soon as i heard, i started texting him angrily on his day off. i remember folding something in the fitting rooms and he came up to give me a hug and i was like ‘HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE MY BUSINESS’. i confronted jess, in a lighter tone, cos i obv told pete (half) what i felt about her. jess played the fucking innocent role. like, she said something along the lines of ‘we’re both close to pete n he was so worried that when me, you and kaylee did those shifts together that something would go wrong. so he told me to keep an eye on things and that’s all i told kaylee cos she wasn’t sure why she was being targeted when so many people in this store are treating people badly. i didn’t say you reported her or anything, honestly!!!!’ queue more bs.

after this, jess didn’t bother with me but was never explicit about hating me. if there was a convo going on and i tried to join in she scolded at me for being nosey. if i was unwell (i have cfs) shed moan ‘jokingly’ that i always had to be ill. i think she ripped on me once cos i said i was late for a hand-in at uni.

her next real victim, however, was jack, my best friend in store and our supervisor. jack was getting fucked over in his supervisor role bc pete would schedule jess for anything managerial. jess started a rumour that pete didn’t trust jack bc jack fucked it at a meeting w the other stores (semi true but fucking up a meeting isn’t the end of the world). like. anything jack would be, jess would be on him. by this point 50% of the staff that were around at the start of the story HAD LEFT. jess had driven people out and had the new ones all up her arse.

pete quit. it was sudden.

not long later, facebook popped up with a fuckin ‘pete is in a relationship with jess’ status and pete has never spoken to me again. i left shortly after that, although our new manager was lovely i felt like i was working for jess.

jack ended up GETTING DEMOTED, by petes replacement who had no idea what a shitstorm she was getting herself into. the new manager PROMOTED jess and demoted jack bc she was doing all the supervisor jobs whilst jack was only doing midshifts. he didnt get shafted to the lowest pay and was instead given the title ‘trainer and authorised opener/closer’ whilst still doing the same fucking job. he transferred out, cos that shit is fucking degrading and within, like two months he was put back up his rightful position. yay for my forever work bestie. I

feel like this has been going on for too long now. i think this doesn’t do her justice. like…i cant believe someone who is NOW 26 and who got what she wanted after manipulating a mentally ill man caused so much drama and pain and tension in a fucking clothes store.

fucking horrid. im reading this completely exhausted and so i cant say much but i just feel like these people are always the ones who come out on top, and its so fucked up. im really sorry you had to deal with so many unpleasant people, and your friend as well.

i swear mediocrity and asskissing is what gets you anywhere in this world, and manipulative cunts like this jess woman take full advantage of that. it’s pretty scary, honestly. amazing how far drama can go, huh. this is why i have trust issues.

i still hope she gets her ass kicked by life, though. there has to be some sort of karmic justice somewhere

i also feel like i should say that there’s always going to be people who won’t like you for some reason. even if you don’t do anything wrong and even though everyone else thinks they’re great. no idea why this happens, but all i can say is there’s really nothing you can do. so FUCK EM (in the most metaphorical sense as they don’t deserve you giving them the time of day)

#manipulation #story sharing #submission

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theday · 6 years

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HIII!!! ITS YOUR MBB SECRET SANTA I HOPE YOURE HAVING A GREAT DAY FULL OF HAPPINESS!!!! I love monsta x and i bet you do too also I LOVE WONHO HES SO SQUISHY RIGHT NOW AND THE HAIR cries ok so i have a question of the day: what got you into mx? Mine was a long ride but it was w o r t h i t!!!

HELLO!!! MY DAY JUST STARTED ACTUALLY BUT I SAW A BUNCH OF MX ON MY DASH SO.. its already filled with happiness and love :-O btw this is rly long

how did u guess…. me …. a blog with the url cuddlychae… liking monsta x????? how didu make that connection… im just kidding i love you? already sjjsjsjd PLEASE JDSJJ I KNOW MY TAG FOR HIM IS LITERALLY SQUISHY KING I LOVE HIM SO MCUHCJS id write a whole ass essay but thats for another time 3 how do you like his hair??? he dyed it like . 3 times this cb rip wonhos scalp but god the purple really grew on me after awhile and then he went fiery red and i was like ? >:0 but the purple…. the red is grpwing on me too alsjjdjs i could never hate wonho(’s hair) i jsut wish theyd let his scalp breathe a bit or he’ll go bald soon

are we going straight into the questiosnsjjsjs tell me about yourself first!!! you can call me egg or megan if calling me a round food object is too strange jsjj i use she/her pronouns and !!! im turning 16 this december 26th which is literally nvm i wanted fto say smth like twice of today since its the 13th and 13 x 2 = 26 but never mind….

this got so long already my friend (what shall i call you?) this is how i am normally whenever i start i dont stop riidjjsjsjk we’re in for a long ride buddy :-D

ok so monsta x … the monsta men……. so firsts of all . my good friend buddy pal karissa (who is barely on tumblr) is a big mbb but i didnt get into them bc of her though she shld get mentioned bc of her i have someone to yell about monsta x.. irl… bless her . now shes kind of relevant to this story actually in june and i was at her place with another friend and that was the day mx had their coomeback shine forever so we agreed to watch it with her :-o back then i had no interest in kpop at all so i was like hm . the whole time but their music was great in my young opinion back then since she let me listen to beautiful right after that (also jooheon in the beautiful mv caught my eye in shine forever it was minhyuk and jooheon i didnt take notice of anyone else whoops)

that was my only mx experience until .. after i got into day6 (after being more open to kpop) my friend (a different one, boxy) she started talking about mx bc she got sucked into their wormhole .. and she would talk about mister yoo kihyun for ages which was cute (ok honestly when i first looked up pics of ki i was like whys . he her bias bssjjsjsjsks now i understand) she’d link me videos such as the daeng daeng daeng cover and kihyuns hyeya to show us how good kihyuns vocals were (which i completely ignored for awhile bc of mister minhyukku…. kihyun im so sorry i did u dirty for the longest time) and then she linked us to the funny videos i had to bold that bc . monsta x are the best comedians alive… kings of comedy . she gave us this video to watch and i lost my mind watching it beyhjsjs

this is long and dramatic only bc i love to talk but basically i got into mx bc they were fucking funny that sounds so dumb but i watched all their reality/variety shows in less than 2 weeks without knowing who each member was (i could only recognize jooheon) every episode/series has made me laugh so hard and i think because i fell for their personalities more it was easier for me to??? for them to??? become one of my favorite groups??? after that i watched all their music videos (hey all in ruined my life and burnt my crops wtf…. i love all in so much,,,,) and then proceeded to watch most of the subbed vlives/monchannel videos it was a wild time honestly and it wasnt only after a while that i started following more mx blogs and just interacting with fellow mbbs??? the click idk if u know them but theyve helped me open up to other people on here too so im really grateful to them!! in the end i just??? i mean i got into them late august and it hasnt even been 6 months but i would really give my heart and soul to monsta x theyre so kind and just really fucking sweet + talented and im so happy they got their first win!!!!!!!

this is really long so if you read this thank you!! something i want to establish is that (breaking some rules here) you dont have to send me 3 asks a day because.. thats ridiculous i mean i understand where the organizer is coming from but please dont ever feel pressured to send me asks - just do it when youre free/when you feel like it!! i want to make this a stress free and fun experience so dont worry about it okay!!! another thing, im completely fine if you send me more than 3 asks in one go (since theres that character limit stories will be hard to tell) i love reading people’s rambles so if you ever feel like writing a whole wonho love essay please go ahead!!

my questions for you are the ones i mentioned previously at the start and how did you get into monsta x?? you said it was a long ride so im rly curious!! just tell me whenever!!! i might take some time to reply bc i only reply on desktop and ill be out the whole day but dont let that stop you from sending stuff if u want!!!

thank you so much for reading if you did, i hope you have a wonderful day and that if youre sleeping soon, youll have a good rest!! do let me know what youd like me to tag your asks with by the way! i love youuUU

#Anonymous #asks #kihyuns biggest fan

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inqilabi · 7 years

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hi annie. Hope you don't take this wrong, but do you think youd oppose being with men if your parents didn't push it on you? ( i went through your rishtas and men tag and appreciate all your thoughts btw.)

mhm… I do wonder that myself occasionally.. i think i’d still be the same.

When I was in Pakistan (In highschool (in Canada), I had friends that would talked about boys.. And I didn’t relate to it and I didnt relate to them, but I also thought I was better than them for it lol. Also somewhat similar to my childhood, I didn’t believe that my friends meant it when they said they were attracted to boys…i thought they were embellishing their attraction to them. I eventually distanced myself from those friends because of that. University was kinda the same except that i did start to see women weren’t joking about their attraction to men.. but then I started to feel something was wrong with me…I didnt distance from anyone until like the 3rd year at which point i found it hard to continue with these female friends, i felt they were too engrossed in men and i didn’t wanna hear about it.. it was made worse by the fact that these girls subscribed to religious and cultural traditionalism which justified ways to focus men, that i defs didn’t agree with.

And then the rishtas started for me, right after undergrad when I was 22. And at this point, I still hadn’t dated men or had a crush on one. So I think likely i would have continued to feel a certain way about most of it…. I don’t see it rooted in rishtas. It’s just some level of it that has always been there for me.[sorry i just ranted unnecessarily but i can’t sleep]

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jementic · 7 years

Text

@as-high-as-the-highest-heavens tagged me to do a thing. thank you btw

A-Age: 19

B-Biggest Fear: Probably being a disappointment or being like a burden. i hate both of those feelings equally lol

C- Current time: 2:47 AM

D-Drink you last had: Water

E- Everyday starts with: A morning shower and some music

F- Favorite songs: Head Creeps by Alice in Chains and 4st 7lb by the Manic Street Preachers as of recently

G- Ghost, are they real?: Yes

H- Hometown: Born in Bellevue (the same one as layne) as a baby lived in seattle and then renton as a kid and then moved to where i live now.

I- In Love With: Have been but not at the moment no

J-Jealous of: Normal people. i am just really awkward and stutter and say stupid shit all the time.

K- Killed someone: Nope

L-Last time you cried: Today was the last time i cried. The songs black gives way to blue and something in the way fucking kill me

M- Middle Name(s): James

N- Number of siblings: I don’t have any

O- One wish: I wish i had a singing voice of some kind

P- person you last called: My dad

Q- Questions often asked: “Could you speak up?” or something about me being quiet

R- Reason to smile: Well i have music, my dog, horror movies, and books

S- song you last sang: Unsatisfied by The Replacements

T- Time you woke up: Noon i think

U- underwear color: Gray

V- Vacation destination: I’m going camping soon up in the mountains

W- Worst habit(s): Biting nails and not making eye contact

X- X-rays you’ve had: On broken arms and legs

Y- your favorite food: PIZZA

Z- Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Im gonna tag @olivia-ofregnaferox @xgrungeandroses @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face @headbangervixen @fairlylocal-ghost do it if youd like

#tagged #personal

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bythepowerof4 · 7 years

Text

clea and nick and a very confusing two day argument @nickatnightwalker

[during daisy’s 420 dash shenanigans]

bythepowerof4nnnno dont encourage her this is bad

nickatnightwalkerim encouraging her to be distracted byh being queen of something clea

bythepowerof4noooooo i dont think its gonna work like that shell just try harder

or maybe not i dontt fucking know i dont know anything

nickatnightwalkersame my guy but it was a chance i was willing to take on behalf of all of us

bythepowerof4ok sure great fingers crossed whatEVER

we are all sooo super grateful

nickatnightwalkeroh this is worse

bythepowerof4that wasnnt even a goov fucking burn

bythepowerof4that was so LAME and she thinks she s so SMART and i hate her

and i dont wanna talk about it actually how are you

nickatnightwalkeri am

dying

bythepowerof4Great

nickatnightwalkeri would have gray hair by now if it were possible for me to have melanin

bythepowerof4youre not helping though!!!!! uoure engaging!!!!!

noo ok not my business

this is meant to be chill i want to be chill

nickatnightwalkerjus wait till the bowl goes around again

nickatnightwalkeri was trying to distract her you kmnow thats the only way to stop the daisymobile

bythepowerof4thats not fair you know thats not fair

nickatnightwalkerwhat waiting for the bowl or the daisymobile

bythepowerof4Both duh

nickatnightwalkeryes i know, and, also unfair that this is happening on 420 day or our lord and savior snoop

bythepowerof4its not fair that we have to deal with this whether it happens or not wee could just like walk away from the weird passive aggressive blogging ccrcle right now if we so chose

yeah????

because this isnt FUN nickolas it is not

nickatnightwalkeri personally am having a loads of fun messing with ines

you have to dea l with everything when it happens so this is just a thign

bythepowerof4oh cool great youre just as bad fantastic news

nickatnightwalkerok i did no t and have not publicly read anybody out yet to date

i only do that privatley and only when it suits me

bythepowerof4:/

://////

bythepowerof4look at u ur being a dick right niw!!!!

nickatnightwalkeroh what to ines

im screwing with her

shes trying to fight me

bythepowerof4because this is soo the best way to deal with that sort of situation

nickatnightwalkerits just funny idk why shes getting all snaked out of shape

bythepowerof4"hot" you dick????

Youre both being gross now stop it!!!

nickatnightwalkera joke

a JOKE

shes a lesiabn

also just like

bythepowerof4its not FUNNY nick

neither of you are funny its weird and annoying and embarrassing

nickatnightwalkershe wants ot punch me bc i sias d bite me

i dondt really feel like imobligagated to take her seriously anymore

besides shes a shit so no t only is it funny to watch her blow a gasket over the same google image snatched pic i also like pissing her off

bythepowerof4u arent obligated to fight w her either but ur doing that,, a lot

idk

Im not making sense

nickatnightwalkerthis is brely a fight

[nothing until nick sends the photo]

bythepowerof4im not mad at you and im not mad at her so can you not tag team revenge for once in your fucking life

we're having an almost genuine conversation for once without you interjecting to make fun of me and pretend play matchmaker for shits and giggles so can you please, please cut it out

nickatnightwalkerim not making fun of you

nickatnightwalkerif i was making fun of you itd be a lot meaner

you should be flattered i even considereed encourragign you to go for daisy

[next day]

bythepowerof4hey!! how are you feeling haha, is ur hair still going grey

bythepowerof4im not trying to act like nothing is bad btw i just wanted to start it off nice sorry :/

nickatnightwalkermy hair's moved past being gray and now it's black, so im inadvertently copying misha again

bythepowerof4lmao this is some goth power play shit love it

nickatnightwalkerwhite haired twink is out 2008 gerard way is in

bythepowerof4as it should be!! do you need eyeliner like i don't have any but it would really make the Look

nickatnightwalkerwhy would i need that when i have dry erase markers to just apply liberally to my face

bythepowerof4so resourceful?? pinterest diy that shit

bythepowerof4we can raid the art rooms, get some glue while we're at it and cut a big chunk out of your hair gel budget

nickatnightwalkerdanger with that is potentially overgluing and making it fragile and breakable like glass

bythepowerof4glass bones and paper skin and glass hair also. got it

i mean youre pretty protective of it already i doubt anyone would notice the difference!!

nickatnightwalkerevery morning i break my legs getting out of bed

bythepowerof4do your heart attacks put you to sleep bc i know that feeling

nickatnightwalkeryeah thats why i sleep like four separate times a day

bythepowerof4and i thought that was just a #relateableteen thing

bythepowerof4so not to be weird but is this like. Chilly lackluster banter or are you actually not mad at me

nickatnightwalkerno im pissed

bythepowerof4ok

can i ask why

nickatnightwalkeri mean well first ya came at me for fucking with you which

like i said

i do but it's obvious

then you were a shit to daisy

thats that

bythepowerof4iiii mean. you said you wouldnt do that anymore. and then you did. i was just upset

and im sorry about daisy, i told her that too

bythepowerof4like really sorry!!

i just think its weird that someone can say, threaten to kill her and call her a bitch all the time

and youll date him

but i cant get a little upset when we're all high and im having a super stressful few days!!

nickatnightwalkerdo what anymore

bythepowerof4fuck with me

about her

nickatnightwalkerim not

i havent been

bythepowerof4you did though

bythepowerof4like what else was that picture

nickatnightwalkeryou said she was weird and creepy and i sent a picture of her being cute and sweet

bythepowerof4i said she was ACTING weird and creepy which objectively is an accurate description for someone talking about throbbing tentacle dicks and using the word "quivering" in relation to the nether regions of the girl they beat up for fun

but like, what do i know

i dont think shes weird and creepy and thats not what that photo was about im not an idiot

nickatnightwalkerlisten i frankly think everyone needs to reserve their judgment on the moire and daisy situation because it's clearly very complex and beyond the comprehension of mortal men and none of our fucking business to judge one way or another and, yknow, imho, moire has gills and misha smells like magic and youre 4d so maybe also reserve your fucking judgment on who's weird around here anyway

bythepowerof4i know thats why i apologized

nickatnightwalkershe can say shit like that and still be cute and sweet

bythepowerof4but like i said, high and upset and still getting used to this, so u can forgive me for one slip up surely

nickatnightwalkershe contains motherfucking multitudes

bythepowerof4thats not what you were saying though!! you didnt say that

you sent me a picture trying to make me jealous or something, just like she was saying, because obviously i cant have a private conversation with either one of you

nickatnightwalkerif youre jealous thats your problem

bythepowerof4im NOT

you both keep acting like i am thats not fair!!!

nickatnightwalkeri wasnt youre the one who's fixated on it

dont believe i ever said the j word

bythepowerof4i didnt either!! she did!!!

im not fixated on anything i just want to be able to talk to you without you making it about her all the time

nickatnightwalkerweve occasionally talked about more than daisy im p sure

bythepowerof4:/ you know what i meant

nickatnightwalkerwell this IS about her whether you think im continually screwing with you in some single minded attempt to torment you or not

and im not a fan of someone who says theyre her friend telling her shit like that

bythepowerof4i said SORRY it happens ok!!! i feel really awful about it why do you think i was so upset yesterday?

nickatnightwalkeri dont know dude i was baked

bythepowerof4i didnt know that specific thing upset her so much bc no one gave me a rule book for this shit and im never gonna do it again

nickatnightwalkerok cool

im also deciding rightnow this second i dont care if you believe why i sent the picture or not because youre so dead set on me trying to fuck with you ill never change your mind

and for the record

damians never called her a bitch again

nickatnightwalkerand if he tried to kill her, id be more concerned about scraping enough of him up off the sidewalk to fill a bucket

bythepowerof4youre not even gonna try to understand why i might think that

like i could tell you if u gave enough of a shit to listen yeah

nickatnightwalkeris poor self esteem and daisys difficulty with dropping her persona not the right answer

bythepowerof4not quite but thhanks

for that

nickatnightwalkerthats usually what it is

bythepowerof4ok just. Listen for a sec without jumping in to insult me yeah

bythepowerof4the two of you like, obviously tell each other everything. like u straight up reference shit shes obviously told u n vice versa

and that makes it weird cause it feels like im never talking to just you and thats why its weird when u bring her up bc its like, why wouldnt u just tell her whatever i say!!!

bythepowerof4and u keep saying i have a shot w her and telling me how to impress her when i just wanted to brag about winning chicken it didnt have to be a THING u know???

bythepowerof4but like!!! if ur saying that then she knows and it makes it weird!!! like you do that even when you said youd stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of moire and then you immediately send that picture and u can see how i might think it was a fucking team effort

yeah?????

bythepowerof4its weird and intimidating and im not even friends with her i was obviously fooling myself about that but i thought i was friends with you

like not youtwo as a unit or whatever fake setting me up

ok im done but that was stupid so whatever

nickatnightwalkerwell like 1. i dont tell her everything

i know hard concept but just because we talk about a lot of shit which is, yknow, what one does with friends, it doesnt mean we talk about everything

nickatnightwalkerfor instance: didnt know she said you were jealous of moire

bythepowerof4ok

bythepowerof4i believe you im obviously not that big a deal for u guys to bother talking abt me fine

but u can at least see how i might think that given ur whole thing is acting like ur joined at the hip and ganging up on ppl

u know

nickatnightwalkerwait do you want us to talk about you or not clea

nickatnightwalkershe was upset so she told me, i was pissed so i gave you photographic evidence

of the contrary imean

if i know everything about her then when i say youve got a shot i really think im in the best position to be calling that

bythepowerof4thats the problem!! Bc i clearly dont have a shot we dont even talk that much bc i dont even know how to talk to her and that makes it seem like ur pulling it out of ur ass!

nickatnightwalkereither i know everything about her or i dont make up your mind truong

bythepowerof4youre missing the point ok

nickatnightwalkerif the point isnt me giving you the run around to fuck with you not sure what the point is then

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkeris that not literally what you just said

bythepowerof4that is youre just getting bogged down in dumb shit im saying!!

nickatnightwalkeror dyou have your planes in a knot over us telling each other things like, information, like, sharing information about our lives

bythepowerof4stop that i dont give a shit about how the two of you act i just want you to get that its scary!! and it makes it hard for me and you expect me to be so good at this that the second i fuck up youre coming at methis hard

nickatnightwalkerof course i am shes my best friend and youre her friend so it's way worse than some rando ragging on her

bythepowerof4youre MY friend youre like my best friend here because im a fucking mess and youre getting personal about this and its upsetting me it doesnt have to be this intense???

nickatnightwalkerhurting daisy is always gonna be personal clea

nickatnightwalkerand i get you apologized and thats cool and that could be that but to the best of my fucking understanding im not giving you false hope and tbqh honestly, to be honest, actually, youre a decent fucking person and i have a strong preference that daisy go on coffee dates with someone whos not gonna knock her teeth out of her fucking head

bythepowerof4youre that invested and youve never said a single thing to her about it??

do you see how i might come to doubt that

nickatnightwalkeryeah and what the fuck would i say sorry but your weird hate crush kinda gives me the heebs have you ever considered not acting on that and trying to be relatively normal and healthy instead

bythepowerof4so what i have to do everything

nickatnightwalkeridk if youve noticed this but she doesnt really know what shes doing a lot of the time when shes talking to people so you know how i was talking about effort:: reward? thats where that comes in

bythepowerof4thats not fair

you could have just told her that thing you just said instead of pinning the work on other people without even telling them

nickatnightwalkergenerally speaking i try not to reveal daisys weaknesses to new acquaintances

bythepowerof4thats still not fair

do u even like me or are you seriously just trying to set her up with the least murderous person here

nickatnightwalkerif i didnt like you i wouldnt care if you were the least murderous person here

besides i dont get how you think us talking to each other is weird but you expect me to run interference in every single one of her friendships like, hey, just a heads up, shes got trouble finding the off button on the snarky attitude

like hell wingmanning you is pretty much the limit of what i can justify

bythepowerof4i dont expect you to do anything ive told you plenty of times that that shouldnt be your job

youre the one whos apparently been trying to invent a friendship where there isnt one?? forgive me for feeling kind of skeeved

nickatnightwalkeri was under the impression that you WERE friends

not sure when you stopped being friends actually

i KNOW shes doing her best to be less

bad

around you

bythepowerof4:/

nickatnightwalkerwhat

bythepowerof4i didnt wanna say "relationship" tbh bc there definitely isnt one of those

nickatnightwalkeroh haha relatable but look

i saw something good happening there with regards to daisy makin a human connection and i was trying my motherfucking utmost to encourage it

bythepowerof4ok but. its not a genuine human connection if youre there right

thats not very organic its just uncomfortable and confusing

i appreciate your help i guess but it was clearly more for her benefit than mine and that doesnt feel great?

nickatnightwalkerim not like lurking behind coffee machines im not actually THERE

and of course it's more for her benefit i didnt even know you

bythepowerof4i mean the second it went south you were, there, actually,

oh wow

thanks

nickatnightwalkerman youre not gonna pick me over like, your brother or something i dont see how this is shocking

besides

daisys

a good person to be friends with

bythepowerof4i mean sure but im still a bit caught up in you picking me out of a lineup like oh theyll do!!

nickatnightwalkerwhat line up

she likes you

bythepowerof4ok this part for once is not about her

well a little bit but listen

i thought we were friends because you thought i was nice and wanted to be

aka nothing to do with daisy

nickatnightwalkerwell like

yeah

that kinda helped your case though i guess

bythepowerof4no im sorry but that makes it weird

bythepowerof4that you befriended me for her sake and the second i pissed her off you trashed me for it like all im good for is bringing out the good in her

thats stupid??

nickatnightwalkeroh my god you have terrible reading comprehension

step 1. we got to be friends

bythepowerof4ok we're back at insilts great!!!

nickatnightwalkershhh just shhh for like a second im breaking itdown alright

step 1. we got to be friends

step 2. you and daisy are also sort of friendsish

step 3. i encourage this shit because shes trying and youre pretty alright

step 4. youre yelling at me for leading you on and befriending you to like lure you to daisy or some shit because i apparently just psychically knew you were ok

dont remember if we started talking because you were already talking to daisy so i figure that says something

bythepowerof4thats not what you just said but fine

bythepowerof4if im so wrong about all of this then im sorry for misunderstanding

nickatnightwalkerno it is what i just said

being friends with me first helped your case re me backing you up since i knew you werent a dick

bythepowerof4fine!!! ok i get it i just apologized

i cant help not getting stuff sometimes i figure u would get that being friends with daisy and all

but youre just saying all thise mean shit to upset me and not even feeling bad about it apparently

nickatnightwalkerlisten i really hand to god dont know what things youre talking about right now

doing it for daisy over you? like

i knew you enough to know youre alright but daisy is daisy

bythepowerof4ok well yesterday, for one, with the "you should be flattered" bullshit

bythepowerof4and u were fucked so i would forgive that in a second if u bothered apologizing

or maybe the picture, which like, whatever your intentions were clearly was pretty hurtful

or anything about low self esteem, treating me like a melodramatic idiot,

any of that rally

nickatnightwalkerim gonna address these in order

bythepowerof4unless ur adress contains a sorry i dont care

ive heard ur excuses and thats great but thats not how this works

nickatnightwalkerlike

nickatnightwalkerugh jesus cut me some slack im not exactly a social guru here either im sorry about the low self esteem comment that was genuinely not meant to be douchy and neither was the picture even though i sent it because i was pissed

that was more of a look youre wrong kinda thing but i get how with daisy saying you were jealous that looks way harsher than i thought it was so im sorry about that

bythepowerof4even in context of like, just our previous convos i think that seems pretty harsh but yeah

thanks

i appreciate it for real

nickatnightwalkerand like i cant in good faith apologize for the you should be flattered shit because regardless of the situation daisy is daisy and in the interest of transparency im never gonna think anyones good enough for her but like i said she was willing to make an effort for you and i knew you were ok so

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkerwhat i honestly dont get why youre so shocked i prioritize daisy

bythepowerof4im not but you dont,, need to, for one

u know you didnt eed to compare us at all

and no offence but if youre trying to convince me you like me as a person and not just bc im convenient

saying "youre ok" as often as possible is NOT reassuring

nickatnightwalkeroh what

well first obviously i had to since you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you and second of all i dont mean Ah Yes, You'll Do..... i mean youre ok

bythepowerof4that hadnt happened yet u just brought it up out of nowhere

nickatnightwalkernot bad

bythepowerof4it was douchey

nickatnightwalkerno you

you said it

ill scroll back if i have to but you said me doing it all for her felt bad

bythepowerof4yeah and it does fyi but u pulled that "you dont deserve her" crap last fucking night

if youre gonna continue a fight u started high at least read the backlogs dude

its clearly on ur mind if u brought it ip for no reason

nickatnightwalkerit wasnt for no reason it was because she was upset you called her weird and crazy

i didnt pull this shit from the void

bythepowerof4" you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you" this hadnt happened yet thats all im saying

u cant even keep your excuses straight

i didnt compare us and you decided to and that understandably made me feel like shit

nickatnightwalkerwell goddamn you pulled the receipts it's certainly not like i couldnt have misunderstood what particular thing you were referring to

bythepowerof4i only did that bc u tried to make it about something else!! i get why u were mad at me but youre trying to make me look dumb its not fair!!

nickatnightwalkerim not trying to make you look like anything believe it or not

sometimes i too am capable of misunderstandings

bythepowerof4then why dont you ever say sorry for them

ive messed up like a dozen times in this convo alone and i said "sorry i misunderstood" ur just

id unno its going in circles and its dumb bc i just want you to not be mad at me

nickatnightwalkerbecause im too busy trying to tell you im not framing you to look like a tool

bythepowerof4and i said i believed you

but youre acting like im an idiot for thinking it at all

nickatnightwalkerdude im not

like i dont know what im doing thats making you think that but im sorry?

bythepowerof4i told you!! over and over!! and you kept making it into something else!!

literally read what u just said and tell me it wouldnt make u feel like an idiot

nickatnightwalkerwhatever sorry i compared you and said you should be flattered

bythepowerof4whatever

sorry agan for being a dick to you last night, bc i admit i was, and to daisy but ill take that one to her bc its like, Our Business

whatevers dont count and im tired so, till next time i guess

nickatnightwalker i said it after you upset her but before you apologized and pretty much would feel that way if donald glover himself came to her door

#ooc #IM #nickatnightwalker #well this..is long

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