Request: spontaneously dragging Bucky into random makeout sessions throughout the day and then just leaving him out of breath as you continue in with your business.
Sealed with a Kiss
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Word Count: 821
Summary: You keep stealing kisses with Bucky and then leaving him flat...
Author's Note: Hi lovely! This is so cute and sexy and I love it! Thank you! I would kiss Bucky until the end of time! Hope you enjoy and you're having a nice day! HUGS! 🥰 Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤ Jobean divider by the lovely @imerdwarf and line divider by the lovely @skylightlantern
Warnings: Soft and sweet with lots of kisses and some spice :)
Gif not mine: Credit goes to @buvky thank you so much🥰
Bucky walks out of the bathroom, a towel slung low on his hips and droplets of water still trickling their way down the curves of muscle that line his chest. You saunter up to him, taking his face between your hands and kiss him.
With a shove you have him against the wall, the slow press of your tongue between his lips making a low rumble of pleasure rise from his chest. Your fingertips trace along his chiseled jaw then graze the strong column of his neck until your nails are dancing down his abdominals and combing through the small patch of hair that disappears into his towel.
His metal hand grips your waist and he pulls your body flush to his. You can feel how hard he is through the towel as you suck and nip on his bottom lip before softly kissing the tender flesh. Your lips move to the corner of his mouth then across his cheek and finally just under his ear where you kiss him softly and step back.
“I’ll see you later Buck,” you whisper, throwing him a little wink over your shoulder.
The meeting takes longer than expected and you’re so ready to leave. Bucky’s sitting next to you, his hand resting on your thigh as his thumb rubs small circles over the fabric of your pants. His legs are spread wide and his jeans are pulled impossibly tight over his thick thighs. None of this helps you remain focused.
When the meeting finally ends and Sam dismisses everyone you rush down the hallway with your hand in Bucky’s and as soon as you find an open door you push him inside the room. The door clicks shut and you stalk toward him, pushing him down until he’s sitting in one of the desk chairs.
He doesn’t say a word as you straddle his waist and rake your hands through his hair. You slowly bring your lips to his, at first just brushing them over the soft skin as your thumb brushes across his cheek. With a few more teasing touches you deepen the kiss and part his lips, tugging on his hair when he throbs beneath you.
His hands slip under your shirt and splay across your back, pulling you closer until you feel his chest brush yours with every breath he takes. He makes the softest moans and sweetest sighs the longer you kiss him and it’s almost impossible to pull away.
When you do, his eyes are dark and his lips are pink and swollen.
“I love you Buck. I’ll see you after yoga.”
You crawl onto the bed and between his legs, carefully pulling the book from his hands. Your fingertips brush along his forehead and trace the smile lines at the corner of his eye. Your nose softly bumps his and you tilt your head, lowering your lips in a feather light kiss.
His arms immediately circle around your waist and his metal hand ghosts along your spine until he’s gripping the back of your neck. You kiss his lips, his cheeks, his jaw and all the way down his neck until you meet his pulse point and then lightly suck on the warm skin.
You can feel him tremble, his muscles contracting with every touch of your lips. Slowly you drag your nose along his neck and kiss just under his ear before taking the soft flesh of his earlobe between your teeth and giving it a little tug. He groans and your lips meet his, swallowing any more sounds he makes.
You lift your head and start to roll off him, opening your mouth to speak but in one quick move he has you pinned under him and his finger covering your lips.
“I don’t think so baby doll,” he simpers.
“Buck,” you giggle. “You know I have somewhere to be.”
“I don’t care. You’re not leaving again.”
You realize there is no way you’re getting away as Bucky’s hard body presses you into the mattress. The next thing you feel is the strength of his metal hand as it closes around your throat and his other cradling your cheek as he drags you closer and covers your mouth with his.
You sigh into the kiss, into the weight of his body, the smell of him and it all overpowers you and you make a throaty sound you can’t control. Bucky’s hand at your throat tightens and he growls.
The kiss grows deeper, more demanding and long enough to steal your breath. Your nails dig into his back and you moan into his mouth again, unable to stop it as he rocks his hips into you.
He breaks the kiss, pulling back only an inch to look you in the eyes. His own are dark, his long lashes lowered as he trails his tongue over his lips.
“You’re mine for the rest of the night,” he whispers.
@book-dragon-13 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @hiddles-rose @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @loricameback @lookiamtrying @marvelgirl7 @nano--raptor @randomfandompenguin @in-umbra-gratia @saiyanprincessswanie @dreamlessinparis @bbl32 @musicalmuffindog1410 @moongreydreams
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she goes 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙢 | Bucky Barnes
Inspiration: [BOOM (Feat. DPR IAN) — DPR LIVE]
Warning: alcohol, oral sex (f recieving), wall sex (against a bookcase actually but whatever), no protection but yes pills, creampie
4.6k words; Perhaps you were looking way too intensely, but his eyes land on you from across the room, locking you down with his stare and your breath just escapes you. Like he’s physically pulled the air out of your lungs. The way he smirks and tilts his head a fraction to the side doesn’t help. Not at all.
“Behave yourself.” Your father fixes you with a kind but firm look, forcing you up from your phone. He lets out a sigh when you roll your eyes a bit.
“Right, because I’ve always listened to you before. This entire problem of me ‘behaving’ can be solved by just leaving me back home. You know, where I can study for my exam in a week’s time? Final one for the year? Super important? Ring any bells?” You don’t even try to hide the snark in your voice, temper already on its edge from the layers of make-up applied on your face and the slightly too-tight dress over your body. And to drive your frustrations in further, your nails clack against the plastic screen of your phone slightly harder than before, trying to finish the text—more like a paragraph of rant now—to send to your friend. You need to vent.
“Ugh. Fine. But I want ice cream later and I’m not going to talk to anyone other than just greetings.” He smiles at your compromise, promising the night won’t be that bad and it’ll wrap up in three to four hours, like you don’t have better things to do in that time.
He gives you a reprimanding glare when you arrive and head towards the front doors of a fucking mansion, telling you to stop dragging your heels against the cobblestone pathway and wipe the bored look from your face. A slight squeeze on the shoulder is his reply when you give him your most fake-sincerest, sickly-sweet smile packed with as much caustic bitterness you can manage. The only thing you’re looking forward to is getting out of the cold weather and into the hopefully warm building. Also getting shitfaced on expensive alcohol and stuffing complimentary snacks into your stomach.
There’s a mingling or whatever they call it going on in the main room that you’re guided into, all unfamiliar faces talking to each other with flutes of champagne in their hands, exchanging pleasantries. A few turns when you walk in behind your father, kissing him on his cheeks and petting him on his back, hellos and how are you’s thrown around. Then, of course, they ‘notice’ you and half demand an introduction, clammy hands coming to grab yours and you barely resist the urge to slap them away. Just make your smile more strained but still polite. You might despise them but you love your dad. They can probably see the insincerity and how uncomfortable you are but do it anyway, just because they can. So fucking annoying.
A few chats and you’re out, hiding in a corner with a flute nursed in your hand, the other on your phone. It doesn’t deter some from coming up to you but talking to your friend about how you’re one step away from sticking your heel into some asshole’s ear always makes things better.
How is it?
I hate it here
That’s the cost of being part of shady businesses
Ugh I didn’t ask to be born into this
I know, babe
Hang in there
Good news is that when the exam might be pushed back a little bit
Finally something goes my way
Yeah, something about the dean getting caught up in things
It’s not reliable so don’t get too excited
Wow you really popped my bubble like that
The terrible night somehow gets worse
You’re in a room full of rich guys
No one catch your fancy to ogle for the night?
Even for a distraction?
All way out of my age range
Nothing else cheering you up?
Really good champagne
How much do you think I need to drink to pass out and forget this night
Not advisable, babe
Don’t even try
Fuck I hate it here
When you regularly drink so much it’s a chore getting drunk now-
You reap what you sow
You can’t even reply to that because he’s correct, as he is all the time. Instead, you finish off the remaining drops of the champagne and scan the floor for a waiter to pluck another glass off of—or maybe even a whole bottle if your dad’s not looking—but your line of sight freezes on a newcomer, tall and dark and handsome.
He’s young, which is the first surprise. The entire room is filled with men all over fifty in the least, excluding the waiters who can barely manage to look at you. Some are wizened and their hair is flecked with grey that they couldn’t mask with hair dyes, fingers knobbly, stretched out stomachs and backs bent if you look closely. But the new guy. He looks like he can be a model, take on the cover of Vogue on his first photoshoot and probably make it sell out in record time. Back straight, bright blue eyes, five o’clock shadow, soft-looking brown hair coiffed back, widest shoulders you’ve ever seen and that’s including every guard who’s ever worked for your family. The suit fits him perfectly, maybe half a size small at how his shirt buttons strain every time he breathes or laughs, and fuck he looks delicious. A whole meal walking and you’ve never realised how good your sight is before this moment.
Perhaps you’re looking way too intensely, but his eyes land on you from across the room, locking you down with his stare and your breath just escapes you. Like he’s physically pulled the air out of your lungs. The way he smirks and tilts his head a fraction to the side doesn’t help. Not at all.
Trying to play it off as cool as you can, you flag down a waitress and restock on the alcohol, basically chugging it down to cool the rising heat from your stomach and chest. Maybe the alcohol is the one causing it, but if you keep drinking then you’ll get a wicked hangover, hate yourself in the morning, and move on. Hopefully not even remember that you got caught sneaking glances—read: staring—at the Hot Guy. The burning doesn’t stop so you turn back to Jamie.
I’m so fucking embarassed
Well that’s not the greatest opener
I’m sure everything is fine
Wait did you throw up on someone’s shoes
Because if so, yeah, you’re fucked
I’m not drunk yet
I sure hope I will be by the end of this though
Not supporting alcoholism
What’s wrong then
This new guy came in
Built like a god
I think he’s like 100% muscle
Did you punch him?
My bad, go on
I was checking him out and he caught me
That’s not that bad
He SMIRKED at me
Then he smirked
Like he knew I was going to check him out
Well you did, didn’t you?
Shut up don’t remind me
Fuck when can my dad drag my corpse away from this massive fucking house
Because you’re not dying here
Where is he now?
You peek up from the screen with the greatest timing in the world, just in time to see him walk up to you with a drink in one hand and the other tucked into his pocket. Half swaggering his way up to you. On any other guy it would look lame and tacky but he somehow makes it cocky and natural and hot as fuck, and it should be illegal how that makes you react—thighs clenching together imperceptively under the dress, warmth radiating in your lower stomach and the tell-tale signs of your sex becoming wet. But can you honestly not react this way when he looks like that?
Oh fuck he’s coming towards me
Welp I’m going to die from embarrassment
See you in the afterlife
I’ll save a seat for you
Kind of don’t want it
Hey, either you get shitfaced or you get fucked by the stranger
You’d like any of the endings
You’re so smart
Jamie the next Einstein
You would have noticed this by now if you were clear headed
Drink water and don’t have irresponsible sex
Still on the pills
Have fun getting dick
Will be here for updates and comfort if it fails tragically
Your message delivers and the phone clicks off just in time as Hot Guy sits down beside you, twirling the glass in his hand. You pretend to notice him—thank god or anything up there that you’re good at acting when it matters—and give him a polite smile, one that he reciprocates.
“James. Everyone calls me Bucky, though. You?”
“[Name]. Bucky?” He shrugs, taking a sip from his glass. There’s something boyish about him, especially now you can pin a name to his face and even more so because Bucky is such an odd nickname, so juvenile for a person who looks like he can take on every single person in the room without breaking a sweat. Might even be able to do it with one arm behind his back, just yawning his way through knocking down everyone.
“You don’t look like you like it here.” He leans in, voice low and dragging itself along the skin of your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps. This guy is seriously ticking all the sex fantasy boxes with such ease.
Second surprise is how good he smells. It’s half suffocating in the lounge, not only because of how much you don’t want to be here but also because of everyone’s heavy and overused cologne mixing together, creating a bomb of confusing smells which is not at all pleasant. His, on the other hand, is light, somehow homey and recognisable, carving its way up your nose and taking residence in your memory. It smells like him, probably because he’s the one wearing it but the meaning is more along the lines of ‘only he is suitable for this scent, it’s like it was concocted just for his use’. You barely pull your head out from admiring his scent of all things in time to respond within an acceptable amount of time.
“It’s stuffy here. Too many people in such a small room.” He chuckles and nods, taking another drink. The clanking of ice provides you with something to ground your mind here and not make a complete idiot out of yourself. “Come on, then. We have a bit of time until the meeting. How does sneaking out of here sound like?” A mischievous grin blooms on your face and that’s enough of an answer for him. Bucky finishes his drink off and gets onto his feet, hand reaching out to pull you up. He makes sure you’re steady on your feet but doesn’t pull back, thumb caressing over the back of your hand. Before you can ask him what’s wrong, he kisses your knuckle, his lips barely touching, and fuck that should be cringy and overused and ancient but your traitorous heart lurches and pounds faster, louder at the act. And from the way he grins at you, mouth still so close to your skin so that you feel every exhale, he can hear it over the chatters.
He drags you to a staircase away from the room, up against the walls to hide in the shadows and places a finger against his lips to tell you to shush, most likely due to your heels clacking against the wooden floor. To be fair, you’re not the one who chose this one. It might be the alcohol talking—it most definitely is—but this situation hilarious; a two grown adults sneaking around in the dark corners of the house, head poking out to see if there’s anyone nearby and trying to smother each other’s giggles with sharp hisses of shhhh but failing miserably. Maybe he’s kind of tipsy as well.
He stops in front of a thick and intricately designed door, clicking the lock open as you drag your fingers into the grooves and admire them. Inside is a study room looking place, two walls lined from floor to ceiling with packed bookshelves and a wooden desk right in front of the window. The room is drenched in a warm golden hue from the lights and it’s like you’ve been taken to another place entirely, away from the politics of the criminal world and into a safe room that’s been adored for years. Your mouth parts as you walk around the room, fingers trailing along the book spines and muttering their names under your breath. You only notice Bucky’s still here when you catch sight of him in your peripherals. He seems to be enjoying the view.
“Have to say the house is nice. Mahogany furniture, good lighting. Rugs are a bit weird though.”
“I’ll make sure to pass the message along to the boss.” Boss. Of course he’s part of the mafia, he’s wearing a suit that looks like it goes above a couple thousand dollars easily, a shiny gold watch on his wrist and tattoos peeking out from underneath his shirt collar. (Kinda hot— fuck.) What else could he be? The alcohol hasn’t made you drunk yet but it made you a couple of degrees slower than you should be. Jamie was right when he said you shouldn’t drink too much. A groan escapes you before you even notice and one of his brows—perfectly styled, how is this man real—rises up at the noise. “Something wrong?”
“Not wrong,” you reply, hopping onto the desk and letting your legs dangle, palms flat against the surface. Very sturdy desk, the horny part of your mind chimes in. You beat it back with a stick and breathe in deeply, trying to calm yourself. He leans onto one of the bookshelves opposite of you, thick arms crossed across his chest and basically radiating sex vibes. “Don’t really like associating myself with you guys.”
“Us guys?” There’s a tinge of incredulity in his voice, a scoff like he can’t believe you would reduce him to such a label. You shrug in response, swinging your legs and smoothing out the dress. “Don’t like the business?”
“Not really, you guys aren’t the nicest bunch.”
“I’m not nice?” The voice is way too close and you snap your head up to come face to face with him—how the fuck did he get over here without a sound—with his palms splayed out on either side of you, head tilted to the side like before. He’s pouting, something that shouldn’t look that good on an adult, much less him, looking up at you with those perfect blue eyes of his and you sober up instantly, mind going into hyperdrive at what’s about to come. If you’re going to fuck this man, you’re going to do it with a clear mind, remember every bit of it. Instant metabolism of alcohol is surely achievable, right?
“Um, not really. No offence.” He drags his lips up along your jawline, nibbling on your earlobe and your heart spikes without a hesitation, warmth blooming everywhere. Okay, now you’re definitely wet.
“How about we forget that then? I’ll just be James tonight, just little ol’ me. Can you associate with me then?” He whispers into your ear, hand sliding onto your thighs and caressing the skin underneath the dress. His voice somehow gets deeper, half-crooning with promises of everything you want. A voice in the back of your head warns you of something that you can’t hear because his eyes are enchanting, seeing through you and you’ve made plenty of bad choices in the past but this really doesn’t look like it’s going to be one of those. Even looks like it’s going to be one of the best ones you ever make.
“Depends on how well you fuck me, doesn’t it?” You whisper back and he immediately latches his lips onto yours, gripping you by the back of your neck with a gentle firmness and god it feels nice. Tongue hot and thick and trying to pull your consciousness away, hand sliding up underneath the dress to come rest on your hips, stroking the jutted-out bone of your pelvis. He disappears, the clinking of his belt buckle replacing the sound of your moans.
“Ah. Stop right there.” You place one foot onto his chest, pushing him back and lower to the ground. On his knees, right between your legs, fingers gripped tightly around your ankles and basically digging into your bones, leaving their imprint there. Something flickers in his eyes, something primal and barely restrained. “Be a good boy for me?”
He lets out a groan, head leaning back with his eyes fluttering shut. Then he’s right back, leaving bruises on your thighs and trailing up to your sex, mouthing against the soaked spot on your panties, nudging your clit through the fabric with his nose.
“Don’t rip it.” You warn, because you can see the thought running through his mind, see the twitch in his finger as they inched closer to the band. He scrunches his nose in response, like a goddamned child, then pulls away just long enough to tug the offending lingerie off, throwing it over his shoulder and reattaches his lips. His tongue delves into your folds, tasting the sweet saltiness and lathering your walls with his spit even though it’s pointless because you’re soaked, juice spilling out more than ever before but he keeps at it, licking and drinking you up like he’s a man starved and you’re the finest ambrosia.
He moves up to your clit, chin glimmering in the light, sucking the nub and making you shriek at how good he is, how effortlessly he’s pulling the control and strength from your grasp. The light dims momentarily and your heart feels about two sizes too big for your chest, pulsing against the fat on your chest and trying to break out of its cage. Your hand slips off the edge of the desk, sending your upper body down back onto the hard surface, the pain forgotten immediately because fuck, you’ve never had a better head than this.
You pull up the end of the dress up to your hips with trembling fingers, locking your legs around his back. He glances up at you, still nursing the sensitive bundle of nerves, pulling strings of curses and moans. He taps on the side of your knee, calling your attention through the deliriousness. When you meet his stare, the edges of his eyes crinkle with a wolfish grin as he thrusts two fingers in, deliciously thick and stretching you out way too much.
“Fuckin’ asshole, ah—” Your hands find purchase in his hair, messing up the coiff as you grind against his fingers, forcing them to go deeper, to chase the high that’s right in front of you.
“You’re going to be glad I’m doing this later, darlin’. Tryna help you here.” He twists and coils his fingers, mapping out your insides—the soft and spongy parts, the spots that make you keen and cry out—knowing where to press and torture like he’s done this a thousand times before. Your back arches with a gasp and all of a sudden your legs lock around his head, trembling at the rush of euphoria and the heat of a thousand suns burning below your skin. It’s like your mind is thrown up into the stratosphere then slammed back into the ground in a flash, knocking you half unconscious in the best way possible.
There’s not a wisp of energy left anywhere in your body when you subside from your climax, thighs left on his shoulders and head placed on the table. The most you can do is try to keep your eyes open and hope your body cools down.
“'I'm not done with you yet.” A startled yelp rips out of you as he heaves you up into his arms, gripping the swell of your ass and slamming you against the bookshelf, mouth back on yours. It’s tangy and weird and you never did this before—kiss someone after they’ve eaten you out so thoroughly and so well—but holy shit, if he doesn’t make it hot. His cock slides in but snags every centimetre and he was right. You’re so glad he stretched you out first otherwise you would have been crying and pushing him away every time he tried to thrust in. It still burns and you’re still raw from the orgasm just a minute ago, but it’s just enough for you to withstand the initial pain and sink into the following pleasure.
Whimpers and begs of please, please move are drowned out by his deep growl, one of his hands coming to slam onto the frame next to your head, gripping it so hard you swear you hear the wood cracking under his palm. The thought of him using that on you—wrapping his hand around your neck and squeezing, cutting the blood and oxygen off until you teeter on the edge—makes your pussy tighten around him, gasps heaving out. He lets an appreciative but strained chuckle.
You’re a mess. Straps of your dress halfway down your arms, the back of it stained with your slick, hair ruined beyond recognition and even without looking at a mirror, you can tell that the rose pink lipstick forced onto you is smudged all over. Some of it even got on him; you can see the subtle tinge if you concentrate whenever he detaches himself from you to take in gulps of air. But he’s still wearing his suit, the tie and the jacket and all, probably sweating under there because you can see beads of it trailing down his temple, and it’s unfair. You’re wrecked and dishevelled but he could walk right out after zipping himself up and no one would know he was fucking your brains out.
Vindictiveness gets the better of you. Being on unequal footings is never something you liked or tolerated, and just because he’s the best lay you’ll ever have doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. It’s tricky, what with your fingers being all trembly and your body being thrown off-balance with every snap of his waist, but you make do and untangle the knot of his tie, chucking it wherever and ripping his shirt, making the buttons fall with small clinks, barely perceptible beyond the rhythmic thudding of your body against the bookshelf.
Oh, you were right. He’s just pure muscle, his biceps the size of your thighs and flexing every time he lifts you up to drop you back down, pecs and sides and arms decorated with black ink and you have no idea why it’s so hot. Just scraping your nails against the design makes your world spin and oh shit, is this a new kink? Because you can definitely get behind that right now with him scrambling your insides up. His mouth skims across your collarbone, the junction from your neck to your shoulder, leaving blossoms of heat from the suckled skin. You bite marks onto unmarred sections of his skin, making it splotchy with red all over. That is, until he drives so deep that you lose control of your body.
“Ah! Mh, fuck— so good, you’re so good, James. Harder, pretty please—”
Maybe you’re too loud, maybe your voice is travelling out of the cracks in the door and alerting the people downstairs—your dad, his partners, their wives, poor teenagers who are trying to work part-time—of how well Bucky is screwing you into oblivion, but you can’t hear it over the lewd squelching of your fluids every time he snaps his hips up and connects the head of his cock against that perfect patch of sensitive skin to turn your vision black and white. The cries and writhing tell him exactly where he found.
“God, you’re so fucking tight, you’re choking me, doll.” Hands firmly on your thighs, he rams himself to that spot over and over, like it’s his sole reason for living, watching your eyes roll back, tongue sticking out, limbs twitching at the assault of ecstasy. There’s nothing in your brain anymore, no comprehensible thoughts or anything minutely similar, just his name, just James spilling off of your lips as if it’s a spell that’s going to push you off the precipice.
“‘m close, so close— cum in me, on the pill—” Those three words, sighed out urgently like you crave it, crave him, makes him snap and bury himself in you to the absolute hilt, your pelvis over his and you flex around him, leaning into the climax and milking him dry, sucking him in. He’s gone, squirting ropes of his seed deep inside, holding you there and forcing you to feel how much you’re getting filled up, how full he can make you.
“Oh god, you’re so fucking hot baby, so perfect.” He groans into your neck, bumping his nose into your jaw and placing butterfly kisses there. Barely touching you but even that feels like too much right now.
It’s like that for a while; you’re stuck in his arms, trembling and fluttering against him, attempting to get your breath back.
He slips out eventually and globs of cum follow, sliding out and down along the insides of your thighs. He watches the milky liquid travel against the soft cushiness of your thighs and groans, knocking his forehead to yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth. From the pressure of his hands against your waist, you can guess he’s getting ready to go again. As much as you would love for a round two or round three or whatever, the overstimulation is making your sight fuzzy and one more of this sex might put you out of commission for good. He whines—fucking whines—when you push him back, pouting and all, but tucks himself back into his pants. Then looks at the floor, at the white buttons strewn all over the place, and sends a glare that he doesn’t mean your way. You can only shrug with your tongue stuck out.
“Oops. Find it in your heart to forgive me?” He shakes his head with a chuckle, helping you clean yourself up, combing your hair into a semi-presentable state. Everything about you screams I just had sex when you check your appearance on your phone, but it’ll have to do. Hopefully no one will pay attention to you when you step out, occupied in their meeting or something.
“Wait, don’t you have to be part of that meeting? I think it started already.” It’s quiet outside, the voices all gone and so is the laughter. Not even glasses clinking together.
“Nah, darlin’. It doesn’t start unless I’m there. And I think they can wait just a bit more.” Bucky’s brushing his hair back when you look over at him, opening the door, his body uncovered without a care in the world. “C’mon, doll. Let’s get you home. Need you safe if I’m ever going to see you again.” His hand is reaching out for you.
He’s still dripping out from your core, the trails hidden underneath the dress. This entire thing was in serious violation of your no fucking mafia dudes rule, the one you’ve had ever since you turned legal, the one promise that you haven’t ever broken.
But he’s right there, he’s right there, hands open with palm up, one brow quirked up to ask are you coming?, fluffy and unkempt hair with puffed out lips because you were being brutal. He’s cute and hot and might just be worth making an exception. Just once. Just for him.
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steve rogers asking for bucky's hand in marriage:
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...from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance. These two men love each other — as any pair of friends who faced exclusion, combat, inhumanity, and death would. Their bond stretches across half of the twentieth century. Steve and Bucky are each other’s soulmate, if you will, because no one on Earth understands what either of them has been through as well as the other does.
-Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely about Steve and Bucky
(Captain America: White)
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''Yea, we do''.
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Hi, I love your work, like for real top notch. Definitely my favorite account on here. And two could I possibly have like a blurb or something short( or how ever you want it.) of stripper!bucky reacting to the innocent reader getting nipple piercings. Lots of love😘😘
SUMMARY// Bucky gets nervous when you tell him you 'did something'
WARNINGS// Implied smut, mentions of piercings, pretty fluffy
AU// stripper!bucky x innocent!reader
NOTE// you have melted my heart into a puddle 🥺been awhile since I've done anything with stripper bucky, gonna have to fix that 😉
18+ ONLY MINORS DNI
Bucky hadn't seen you in a week, he was starting to get a certain homesickness for you. A craving that needed to be filled as he waited for you at his apartment, impatiently flicking through the selection on a streaming service.
Hearing the jingle of the doorknob, Bucky immediately put the remote down and sat straighter on his couch.
The moment you walked in, he noticed something different. The way you moved towards where he was sat screamed at him to ask what had changed.
"Something wrong, my angel?" Bucky asked, pulling you to his lap. Your knees straddling his thick thighs. "I... may have done something."
His stomach lurched. Those were never good words to hear. His mind racing with the thoughts of what had changed; if you'd found someone else, did something with someone else- if maybe he had tested the limits a little too much the last time he'd seen you. Though, he didn't think it'd be that, the pinching rule still stood and you'd always used it when you weren't comfortable in a situation. In and out if the bedroom.
"W-what, baby?" He said, swallowing thickly, trying to keep his breathing steady to hide how nervous he was. Your hands reached up to work at the buttons of your blouse and he puffed out his cheeks as he raised his eyebrows at you. "You're not trying to distract me with your tits as you give me bad news, are you?"
You breathed a laugh and shook your head, heat creeping up your neck. "Not that kind of something, Buck." You assured, pecking a kiss to the tip of his nose.
Bucky sighed in relief and nodded, hands resting on the tops of your thighs as you popped open the last button. Wetting his lips as your fingers worked at the clasp between your breasts.
"Holy shit, bunny." He groaned when he saw the two barbells piercing through your nipples. Slipping his hands up to hold your waist as he nuzzled his face against the valley of your breasts.
Your face burning when he let out a heavy sigh. "Do you not like them?" You mumbled, holding his sturdy shoulders. His left cold against your hand.
Bucky lifted his head to look at you with wide eyes, shaking his head. "I fuckin' love 'em- but, I can't touch." He stuck his bottom lip out, eyes flicking back and forth at the new jewelry before up to your face. "I love you more, though." He said with a cheeky grin.
You smiled at him, lacing your fingers in the back of his hair. "I was a little nervous you wouldn't like them." You said softly, looking to his bare chest. "That would be hypocritical of me. Since we match, now." He chuckled, gripping your backside as he pecked a kiss to your lips.
"Lemme show you just how much I like them." Bucky exhaled, hauling you up with him as he stood. "You have to be careful, though, Buck." You said with a pointed look, holding his shoulders as he walked towards his bedroom door. "I know, I know. Healing process, sensitive, sore- I got it, I can work around them."
"Good, because, I missed you." You sighed before your back met his plush mattress, Bucky's large frame hovering over you. "I missed you, Bunny. We're gonna have s'much fun with these-
"James." You warned, getting a chuckle in response.
"I can look, but I can't touch. I know, baby."
🤍 🤍 🤍 🤍 🤍 🤍
Taglist: @likeahorribledream @cxddlyash @iwannabekilledtwice @bookstan0618 @glxwingrxse @yliumy @pineprincess @makbarnes @cupcakehinch @doasyoudesireandlive @magicwithinnightmares @preferredrealty @andy-is-gay @stucky-my-ship @marvel-3407 @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @i-l-y-3000 @avoxzy @impala1967666 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @supernaturalbaesduh @bucky-hues @suchababie @an-adult-fairy @ju5tyna20 @hallecarey1 @jxlystan @elizabeth228 @secret21121 @strwbrrybucky @busybeingtrash @harrysthiccthighss @everything-burns-down @ynsdiarys @sunnynapp @bucky-harrymybfs @sylleblossomstar @winter-soldier-101 @smokeinherperfume @andreead @amalfoyandariddle @mal-edictions @missusbarnes-rogers-laufeyson @magicaleternal @doll1917 @eireduchess @commonintrest
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Anybody else catch this little moment in TFATWS 1.03. Power Broker? I didn't the first time through but did during my first re-watch.
At first, I was like, "oh, that's cute. He likes cars." Then it clicked -- that's probably a car from his era. Something he may have driven, or at least saw around Brooklyn. And it's likely in pristine condition, as it would have been back then.
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Bucky x little reader! Loves playing with his dogtags and loves wearing them, whenever he goes on a mission or something ( or just leaves to go to the store) she always gives them a kiss to keep him
this is so cute my god.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: fluff, kinda angst at the end, mentions of missions, mentions of cglre
Word Count: 490
It started about a month after they had started seeing each other. You guys had met and immediately started a sort of caregiver relationship, where he took care of you and you took care of him, just a little differently. Which you both loved. It was hard for you both when he went on missions because you never knew if it would be a week, or a month, or even more. So one day Bucky thought of an idea, he wanted to give his baby his dog tags. So he was going to sit you down a day before he was supposed to leave. He didn't want to do something simple, he was going to take you to dinner and then back to your apartment and give you as much love as he could before he were to leave at 4:00 in the morning.
He texted you to be ready around 2:30 pm, he knew that way you would've had your nap, he didn't want a cranky baby today. Once he got to your apartment, he walked up the steps, flowers in hand, as well as a new stuffie he made at a build-a-bear. He knocked at your door, he smiled to himself once he heard your little pitter patter towards the door. You opened it all giddy and happy, ``Hiya mister!`` He quickly pulled you into a hug, ``Hi baby, I brought you a couple things. Now I know this Teddys uniform isn't exactly the same as daddy's was, but its close-`` ``Wait... why are your dog tags on the teddy? You never take those off``. He smiled down at you, ``Well, angel. Ive been thinking, I know how hard it is for you when im away and how much you miss me. So I figured, ill give you a teddy with a military uniform with my dog tags on him, so im extra close to you when I can't actually be close to you.`` Once he handed you the teddy, he immediately noticed the tears streaming down your face. You quickly sniffled and held the teddy close to you. ``I love him.. Thank you so much!``
It had been 2 weeks now, and Bucky was still gone. You cuddled your teddy every night, which you had named Sergeant Barnes. It was around 1 in the morning and you just couldn't sleep, so you decided to take the dog tags off your stuffie and put them on. Once they were on you grabbed them and held them close to your heart and just cried. You missed Bucky, a lot, and you had no clue when he'd be home. So for now all you had was your stuffie, the dying flowers he got you 2 weeks prior, and his dog tags. You eventually woke up, not remembering falling asleep, you grabbed his dog tags and kissed them good morning. The same way you did when Bucky was home.
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Galas, New Dates and Exes (Part. 4)
Warning: fluff and a tiiiiinyyy bit of smut (oopssss).
Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) broke up and they see each other for the first time at one of Tony's parties. The only problem is, she has a new date.
Word Count: 4k
Author's Note: This is a looonggg oneeee. I know I said I was going to reveal what happened between them buuuutt I decided not to. Hope you guys like this part! Please comment if you would like more parts and what you would want to see happen between the two.
Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt.3
It has been a couple of weeks since the New Year’s Party and (y/n) finally could go back to work. What at first seemed like a couple of weeks of vacations turned into forced leave by Tony Stark so, coming back into the field gave (y/n) something to keep her mind busy. She took a deep breath before entering the conference room where she saw that Natasha, Steve and Sam were already there.
“(Y/n).” Steve said, clearing his throat, not wanting her to know they were just talking about her. “Glad to have you back.”
“I’m glad to be back Cap. And-“ (y/n) took a pause and looked around the room. “I just want everyone to know that I don’t want any special treatment. I know Bucky was also assigned this mission, we’re both adults and can handle this situation as professionals. I don’t want our past to affect our jobs.”
Steve gave her a warm smile. “Please take a seat, we’ll be starting the brief in a couple of minutes.”
(Y/n) got lost in meaningless conversation with Natasha, soon after Wanda arrived and joined in. A few minutes later, Bucky arrived shocking everybody with his perfectly neat hair and serene appearance.
“Sorry for being late.” Was all he mumbled before taking a seat, not looking up at anyone.
The mission consisted of all of them traveling to some unknown part of the world. It was a pretty easy mission: go, get information, and get out without anyone noticing. They were set to leave the next day at dawn. As the meeting came to a close, everyone started leaving the room and so did (y/n). But before she could get to the doors, Nat intercepted her. Something seemed off.
“(Y/n) I want you to know I am so sorry. Truly. I never meant for any of this to happen, it was just that I was stupid and had way too much to drink and I just- I really messed up.” Natasha said, tears at the brink of her eyes. (Y/n) didn’t know what was happening, but as she turned around to see Sam and Steve with their heads in their hands, she started to understand.
“You told them?” She asked the redhead, much to her dismay she nodded. “Fuck.” Was all she could say, she couldn’t blame her friend and by the look on her face it was obviously not on purpose. The only thing that was left was to organize her ideas and face the two men.
“(Y/n). I need to know this isn’t going to change anything with the mission.” Steve started. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that Bucky doesn’t know, but I need my team to be ready for this.”
“Steve, I’m a professional spy, I can handle this.” (Y/n) said sternly.
“I also want you to know that I think he should know. He was going to be a father and the right thing to do is to tell him.” Steve told (y/n) looking into her eyes, seeing the fire building up.
“Steve,” (Y/n) said trying to calm herself. “First, I want to tell you how much I appreciate how worried you are about Bucky, I really do. But frankly, this is none of your concern. You may be the captain here, but you have no right telling me what I should or shouldn’t do in my personal life. Second of all, I have been a trained spy since I was twelve and have been working with you for the past eight years. You know me and because of that, you know that everything I’m doing has a reasoning behind it. So, I ask you to never question if what I’m doing is correct or not. Not in my personal life or in my professional work. I’ll get the fucking job done.”
With that said, and everyone in the room left speechless, (y/n) left the compound. She grabbed her car and left, not wanting to deal with anything that was happening. Before she noticed, she was driving back to her apartment in the city. It used to be her permanent residence but, it had too many memories. She decided to park her car a couple of blocks away from her building and walk back home, it was mostly her decision but also the parking situation in New York was vile. She felt the cold breeze on her cheeks and sloshing of somewhat melted snow on her boots, making her remember those first nights when Bucky and she were still hiding their relationship from everyone. Bucky would practically beg her to stay at his apartment.
“C’mon (y/n) let’s just go back to my place, there’s no need for you to stay here all alone.” Bucky said, wanting to spend more time with her.
“Buck, you know Steve could pop in at any moment! He’s got some weird attachment with you.” (Y/n) laughed and looked up at him. They had been going out for a couple of months, but this was their fifth official date, and they were both feeling like they were floating on clouds. “You just want me to go back to Brooklyn, so you have an excuse to show off your part of town.”
“I want you to go back with me to Brooklyn to spend more time together.” He said looking back at her with an amazing smile.
“You know that smile could melt any girl’s panties off.” (Y/n) laughed shaking her head.
“The real question is, do they melt yours?” He whispered in her ear.
She laughed even more and as they got to her building, she pulled on his leather jacket to push him closer to her. Planting a kiss on his lips, the only thing she said was “Come upstairs and we can find out.”
As their relationship grew, (Y/n) decided to get an apartment in Brooklyn. She had always said it was because her old landlord was always hiking up her rent and that she got a bad feeling about the guy. The truth was, she was spending most of her time in Brooklyn anyways it was just the right move. Plus, getting to spend Sunday mornings strolling through the farmers market with Bucky was one of her favorite things to do.
Before she knew it, (Y/n) was at her apartment door. She heard something coming from inside and with one swift move she entered, gun pointing at whatever the sound was. She silently went through each room and finally entered the bedroom. She let out a sigh and a small laugh as she saw the white cat purring on her bed.
“Alpine, you scared the shit out of me.” The cat only meowed back, she picked the cat up and sat back on the bed. “What are you doing here?”
It was as if the tiny furball understood her and leaped off the bed, walking casually to the kitchen and sitting in front of her food bowl. (Y/n) shook her head and looked through her cupboards to find the feline’s food. Alpine happily ate her meal while (Y/n) rummaged through the insane amounts of expired food.
(Y/n) thought her apartment would feel different and somewhat strange, but it looked intact. Like time had been paused and everything was as it should be. (Y/n) picked up her suits and some extra things she would be needing for the mission before grabbing the cat and heading out. (Y/n) thought of herself as more of a dog person, but as soon as she saw Bucky come in with the white cat she fell in love.
Bucky’s apartment was just a few blocks away but that walk seemed like a mission in and of itself. ‘Go to the building, get the spare key from inside the nearest air vent, enter the apartment, get water and food, leave the cat.’ She kept repeating this in her mind over and over. (Y/n) found the strength to go into the apartment and sighed as she saw the state it was in.
Bucky’s small apartment looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. Sheets on the floor, half empty takeout containers everywhere and a distinct smell of death. As soon as she started putting water in Alpine’s bowl, (y/n) heard the sound of heavy boots coming to a halt at the apartment door.
“Shit.” She whispered, hiding behind the counter.
From outside of the apartment, Bucky saw the shadows from underneath the door before hearing an intruder inside his home. He silently left the brown paper bag filled with groceries on the floor and took out his knives. Slowly turning the handle and entering his apartment. He saw Alpine happily drinking water, she looked back at her owner and meowed. Moving from where she was sitting and coming behind the counter. Meowing again.
Before Bucky could do anything, he saw (y/n) spring up with her hands holding a gun directly towards him.
“Drop the knife Buck.” She warned.
“Drop the gun Doll.” He replied before taking a step towards her. “You’re really pointing a gun at me in my own apartment?”
She cracked a smile and slowly put the gun on the counter, putting her hands up in surrender. Bucky smiled too and put the knife back in his pocket.
“What are you doing here?” He asked before going back outside for the groceries.
“Alpine decided to pay me a visit, she scared the living hell out of me. I thought someone had broken into my apartment.” (Y/n) said. “On that note, I’m sorry for breaking in. I just thought it would be better if I brought her back here.”
Bucky smiled in response and started to put the groceries in the refrigerator. “Want a beer?”
“You know we shouldn’t be drinking before a mission.” (Y/n) shook her head, smile still plastered on. “Plus, you know I hate beer.”
“I know, just wanted to tease you a bit.”
“Buck, we need to do something about your apartment. This whole situation” she said, motioning the whole scene. “is not healthy.”
Bucky let out a loud laugh and turned to her. “We’re not dating anymore, you can’t complain about the state of my apartment. This isn’t your jurisdiction anymore doll.”
His laughter died down as soon as he saw (y/n)’s expression. “Sorry.” He coughed. “Too soon to make jokes about us breaking up?”
(Y/n) let out a nervous laugh and started to feel the nervousness leave her body.
“I know last time we saw each other was pretty rough but, I-I’ve been seeing a therapist and-“ Bucky was interrupted by another shocked expression coming from his ex.
“You mean macho man, James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes, is seeing a therapist?” She smiled and added. “I’m messing with you, I’m really glad you’re seeing someone.”
“I’m not seeing someone, I just decided that sulking around was getting me nowhere and messing with the old brain.” Bucky chuckled. “You know I realized that, when we broke it off. I didn’t just lose a relationship, I also lost my best friend.”
(Y/n) looked down at her feet, ashamed.
“And you know, we’ll be working together so I just wanted to become civil.” Bucky said, trying not to show how petrified he was but, as he saw (y/n) smile everything else seemed to disappear.
“I want us to be civil too Buck.” She spoke.
“So, as my olive branch to you, I wanted to say that Nicholas looks like a nice guy. I’m sorry for how I treated him, and I hope everything works out with you guys.” He took a deep breath before saying his last part, something that he had been practicing with Dr. Raynor. “I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James Bucky Barnes and you’re part of my efforts to make amends.”
“That last part is usually, um, directed to other people.” He laughed.
“I think the olive branch is supposed to be directed to Nicholas.” She said smiling back at him. This is the Bucky she remembered, the one she fell in love with. Goofy and kind. “About Nicholas, we um- nothing ever really happened.”
“What do you mean? What did he do to you.” Bucky got defensive.
“No, nothing. He was really kind but, things just didn’t work out. Our time schedules didn’t really mix and at the end of the day we just decided not to go through with it.” She explained, looking through his refrigerator and grabbing a water bottle.
Bucky had to admit to himself that he was glad nothing ever happened between the two of them. “No one is ever going to be good enough for you. You’re amazing (y/n). And I’m saying that as a friend.”
“Well, as a friend, I’ll say thank you and that no one will ever be good enough to be with you either Buck.” She smiled back. “You’re incredible, even if you’re an old man who doesn’t know how to work a TV.”
Bucky feigned hurt. “Speaking of TV, I wanted to know if you know. Obviously as friends, we could maybe. I mean only if you want to and have nothing better to do. Um- if you wanted to stay over and maybe watch a movie or something.” He grabbed the back of his neck as he replied, feeling the heat rush to his cheeks.
“Just like the old days?” (Y/n) asked in a quiet voice.
After her answer he was filled with regret. “Yeah, it was a dumb idea. I wouldn’t want- you know,” He tried to look around for an excuse, or basically anything to get himself out of the situation. “I wouldn’t want Alpine to get confused and maybe think that we were getting back together- yeah just forget I said anything.”
“It’s fine,” She laughed. “I would actually really like to stay.”
“Really?” He asked surprised.
“You know, you were my best friend too. I need someone to watch scary movies with.” She replied, taking off her jacket and sitting down on the couch.
“What? You can’t sleep after watching a scary movie without having a gun underneath your pillow?”
“You know that was only one time!”
(Y/n) and Bucky spent the rest of the night talking over the movie that had been put on the screen. Reminiscing the time when they spent two weeks off in Italy, new training moves and other random gossip. One topic leading to the next.
“So, Rebecca’s boyfriend told her he didn’t have time to go out to brunch but then Isla saw him playing basketball?” Bucky asked, filling his mouth with another sushi roll and (y/n) shook her head.
“No, Isla is Rebecca’s ex-girlfriend. It was Isis who saw Rebecca’s boyfriend at the court. You know the one on Houston street?” She explained, taking a sip of the green tea that had been “accidentally” delivered to them. Bucky insisted the delivery kid gave (y/n) someone else’s tea, her beauty making the kid’s head spin. He assured her that the restaurant he always ordered from, never gave out anything for free.
“My question is, why do you know all of this gossip from the medical department?” Bucky laughed and (y/n) just replied with a shrug.
As the credits rolled on the screen, (y/n) noticed the time. “Wow, I hadn’t even looked at the clock, it’s already 12:30. It’s really late, I’ve got to be up by 5!”
(Y/n) stood up and slowly took her jacket in her hands, hoping Bucky would ask her to stay over. Bucky nodded and gulped down his food, heading towards the door to show (y/n) out even though she knew the apartment like the back of her hand. As she pets Alpine, (Y/n) looked back at Bucky. ““Hey Buck, you know to celebrate our newly rekindled friendship I wanted to ask a favor.”
Bucky furrowed his brows and quickly nodded. “Yes, whatever you want I’ll do.”
“I wanted to know if I can stay here tonight.” She asked quietly. “I don’t know what it is but, being here with you is easier to deal with than being back at my apartment. I kind of feel like, I don’t know- I just can’t deal with that right now not before a mission. Not before my first mission back I just-.”
“You know you can always stay here doll.” Bucky interrupted her, he saw she was getting frustrated, he came up to her and kissed her forehead. “I know what you mean.”
(Y/n) softly smiled and put her jacket down again.
“You still remember where my t-shirts are?” Bucky smiled, getting the kettle out to make some tea.
“Yes, I remember. Did you throw out my things or do I still have a spare suit and underwear here?” She teased back.
Bucky immediately blushed and nodded. “Yeah, everything is still there. Third drawer on the left side.”
(Y/n) hummed and went into the bedroom. It too was exactly like she remembered. She quickly got changed into one of Bucky’s old shirts and went back to the kitchen, a cup of tea already waiting for her.
“You can sleep on the bed, I’ll sleep out here.” Bucky told her, not looking up.
“Don’t be ridiculous Buck! This is your house, I can’t just kick you out of your room.”
“Doll, you know I don’t like that bed. I haven’t even slept in it since, well, since the last time you slept over.” He casually said.
(Y/n) widened her eyes. “You mean you haven’t slept in your bed in more than six months? You basically haven’t had a good night’s sleep in half a year?”
The former assassin shook his head and looked up with a smile. “You know, since you asked me for a favor. Can I ask you for one?”
“Can we sleep together? I me-I mean can we sleep tonight, together tonight?” Bucky was trying to find the right words but everything he said came out wrong. “Not like that. I’m not begging to get laid. I’m just saying actually sleep in the same bed.”
(Y/n) let out a loud laugh. “Handsome, I know you don’t need to beg to get laid.”
Bucky turned a crimson shade of red in part because of her nickname for him and in part because of what she said. “I haven’t- since us. You know I haven’t, done that.”
“Me neither.” (Y/n) replied. She knew this whole conversation was wrong, they shouldn’t be talking about this. ‘Or should they? Friends talk about these kinds of things, right?’ She asked herself. She didn’t want to admit it but, she was glad no other woman had come back to his apartment.
Bucky broke (y/n) out of her trance with a cough. “I’m gonna go get changed.” She just nodded.
After a while the ex-couple found themselves in bed together. As (y/n) moved, the bed creaked.
“You haven’t changed your headboard?” She said shaking her head.
“It’s still good.” Bucky said tapping the wooden frame, like clockwork the old wood creaked again making a noise straight out of a horror scene. “I mean it was fine before you broke it.”
“Are you seriously trying to blame me for that?!” She laughed as she playfully slapped his chest, noticing the muscles. Bucky maybe hadn’t slept more than three hours since they broke up, but he had been going to the gym. And (Y/n) noticed.
“I mean it was technically you who broke it.” Bucky smiled back at her, looking down at her hand that was moving up and down his exposed chest. “Like what you see?”
Thank god for the dimmed lights, if it weren’t for them Bucky would have been able to see how hard (y/n) was blushing. She turned around so that her back was facing him. “I only broke it because you flung me into the bed!” She defended, remembering that night.
“I thought you liked it rough?” Bucky whispered into her ear, grabbing her hips, and pulling her closer to him.
“I do, but I think that night was-“ (Y/n) was trying to find the right words to describe that night. ‘That night was when you got me pregnant’ didn’t really roll off the tongue.
“That night was amazing, and you can’t deny it. You know we’ve got amazing chemistry in the sac doll.” He cut her off, tracing one finger from her shoulder to her knee.
“What makes you think I can’t deny it?” She questioned, trying hard to disguise her actual emotions. With one swift move, Bucky was pinning her down on the bed. Lips only an inch away. With one forearm propping his whole body up, his vibranium arm started tracing circles on her hipbone. Inching closer to where she desired the most.
“Tell me to stop.” He ordered. “Tell me to stop and I’ll do it.”
(Y/n)’s brain was having an internal battle. She knew this wasn’t how the night was supposed to go but she couldn’t get herself to do the right thing. So, next thing she knew her mouth started moving. “Please don’t stop.”
The next day, Bucky and (Y/n) had agreed that the best thing to do was to enter the compound separately. Bucky had gone directly to the hangar where he saw Steve and Sam waiting.
“What’s going on, Bucky you’re scaring me.” Sam said, taking a step back looking at the soldier from head to toes. “You’re doing that weird thing with your face and you’re doing your happy walk.”
“It’s called a smile.” Bucky replied, ignoring the falcon.
“Why are you smiling?” He questioned.
“Do I need a reason to be smiling?” Bucky said.
“Yeah, you do, when you’re Bucky! You never smile, and if you do it it’s not at seven in the morning!” Sam said confused.
“Sam, let the man breathe.” Steve said, not looking up from the mission brief.
Bucky decided to change the subject. “Do you guys have an extra knife that I can borrow?”
“Okay. Man, now I know something’s going on! You don’t have your knife?!”
“Sam, seriously it’s 7:10 am. We need to get going, stop making a big deal out of everything! And Bucky, I know I said this mission was easy but really, you don’t bring your knives?” Steve said, shaking his head. “I have an extra one in my bag, you can get it when we’re on the plane.”
As Steve left to get on the plane, Sam turned to Bucky. “You may be able to fool that guy, but not me. You got laid last night, didn’t you?”
Bucky quickly shook his head with widened eyes and Sam let out a loud laugh. “Me and Redwing, we see everything.”
A few minutes later, Natasha, Wanda and (Y/n) arrived. As they were all walking towards the plane the ladies were falling behind. With Sam and Bucky following in front of them.
“C’mon (Y/n) are you gonna tell us?” Wanda said laughing a bit.
“You guys stop, I already said I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (Y/n) said as she kept on walking.
“You think we don’t know? Your hair is matted, and your smile is extending from ear to ear stop lying! We can almost smell the sex from all the way over here.” Wanda said, trying to get the spy to crack.
“Plus, we found an extra knife in your bag that isn’t yours!” Natasha said.
With that last comment, Sam stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at Bucky. As he saw his pleading eyes, Sam’s mouth fell open.
“Hey, um, (Y/n).” Bucky said, dripping with nervousness. “Sam wanted to ask you something. I think it’s gonna take a while, you ladies can get on the plane.”
Wanda and Natasha furrowed their eyebrows but kept on walking towards the plane as (Y/n) was left behind.
“You, you two. You and you, last night.” Sam kept mumbling over and over again.
Bucky and (Y/n) looked at each other in shock and all was left was to mutter a simple: “Fuck.”
@ mxrvelinhrt @baby-banana @stucky-my-ship toothhurtyam @bluemoon-icecream @seybox @supraveng @jasmine19346 @what-a-beautiful-mess-i-made @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @confuscita @eviesaurusrex @girlfriday007 @starryeyeseunbyul @thevampire97 @sadisticfries @440mxs-wife @rslizj
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Barnes' miscommunication | Bucky Barnes x Avenger!reader
Summary: Bucky was an idiot, and he tend to push away things he loved, and that included you. When he hurt you, he didn’t realise his apology would be too late. He didn’t know about your past with hydra, which made the situation, worse.
W/c: 5.2k (holy shit that's alot)
Warning(s): ANGST, weapons, harm (not on you), reader abilities, hydra, swearing!
A/N: A lot to write, I couldn’t find a good way to summarise this fic… you’ll just have to read it. There are -- read more-breaks for the story because it is so long.
Any likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! Enjoy <33
You were never one to talk; even before you were kidnapped by Hydra, you still didn't really speak. You were quiet and reserved; being an ex-hydra assassin just solidified your personality. There was a lot to know about you, but you never really shared anything about yourself when it came to it. Everyone knew you as Y/n Stark, 'the daughter of Tony and Pepper Stark' and the girl kidnapped when she was five, found by the avengers later in life.
You worked through a lot of things. The therapy Tony and Pepper signed you into helped with the nightmares, but that was about it. But even still, you weren't entirely there; if people didn't know you, your first impression was always coming off as rude and inconsiderate. And you supposed that after all your years working for Hydra, you probably were. You were very much closed off until you met Bucky Barnes.
Bucky Barnes, an ex-hydra assassin, was welcomed into the team just over a year and a half ago. Your dad agreed to the idea because he thought it might be nice for you to have someone else. One who had something in common with you other, both Natasha and Wanda.
Meeting Bucky was all to be expected; you both got along well, but never once had you shared something about your personal life. You were closed off, and although you and Bucky were civil. He, too, was the same. It was like two peas in a pod.
Over time, it became a love-hate relationship; you'd try your best to be on good terms with Bucky, but over time it felt like he had something against you. You and Bucky were at constant war with each other, and you didn't know what you did for him to hate you so much, or so you thought. You thought that maybe if you tried to tell him that you were an ex-hydra yourself, that may be the pair of you could bond a bit more. But your attempts to do so turned out in failure.
A simple smile would turn into Bucky turning his head away. A good morning, Bucky would walk away. There were definitely good days where he would talk to you, but it wouldn't last long. You guys just didn't really click anymore, and it had been over a year and a half since he had arrived.
Then, not too long ago, Bucky started playing pranks around the compound with Sam. It was their thing. One day when you were about to go on a mission with Nat and Steve, Bucky had accidentally hidden all of your mission weapons, thinking they were Nat's. So you, too, joined in on the fun; two could play at that game, Ex-hydra assassin vs Ex-hydra assassin.
Slowly, you began pranking him back, shaving cream in his boots, salt in his tea or replacing his daggers with dummy knives, just to name a few.
Bucky knew it was you, and he was finding this game pretty fun. There was never a malicious intent behind the minor pranks the both of you played on each other. This quickly became your thing with him and was the reason you two became close again. Spending more time together than usual, you'd spend nights watching films with him, playing board games or even chatting until the earlier hours of the morning. He'd find it weird that you'd be the only one up sometimes, but he never questions it.
It was odd; you were slowly but surely falling in love with Bucky Barnes. You didn't know why or how it happened, but that love for him was there. He made you feel something you had been missing for most of your life.
Bucky, too developed a love for you. He, too, didn't know where it began or how it happened, but he knew that after all his years of not having anyone, he wanted you. Now I suppose when you put two and two together, it's not hard to know that you and Bucky had a thing for each other; the whole team knew it. Your dad knew it too. However, it never went anywhere; You were just as awkward as each other.
Leading to a few nights ago.
There were three hydra missions scheduled in the week; you and Bucky had been assigned to one of the three. When he came back from his mission that day, he was drained and distraught. You went to welcome him home, but he walked right past you and up to his room.
Steve said something about Bucky seeing where they had tortured him for decades, the memories had got to him, and you understood. Steve thought you might be the best to comfort him, but Bucky still had no idea that you had worked for Hydra before, but you never shy away from the fact that you did. If someone asked, you would tell them. Which still confuses you, the fact that it never came up over the year you've known him. You thought surely someone would say something to him if you hadn't.
The only genuine person who ever understood your pain was Wanda. Both you and she were hydra experiments at the same time. You, her and Pietro. Escaping together because of Ultron, and that's how your dad found you. When Pietro died, it was like you were losing a brother. So you stuck by Wanda; she promised to protect you as you would in return. She was the only one to actually understand what you were going through.
Before the hydra mission, he promised that he'd have dinner with you. Something the pair of you had been doing for quite a while now. So here you were, keeping that promise. You stood outside Bucky's door, softly knocking. You had his dinner that you made in your hand, waiting for him to answer. When Bucky didn't answer, you carefully opened the door just a tiny bit to see him sitting at the end of his bed, gripping the sheets tight in his hand.
His little run-in at the Hydra base triggered something in him. It got under his skin, and he was furious. But you knew that; you sensed it as soon as you walked in the door, and little did he know, you could see what had happened. A soft frown appeared on your face as you walked closer, sitting just a bit away from him at the edge of his bed. "Buck? I made dinner," You called; he didn't answer, just sat there breathing heavily.
"Y/n go away," he warned.
Head tilted, you weren't having any of it. Out of anyone besides Wanda, you knew just how bad Hydra could get, and you didn't want him to be alone. "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere, you promised me dinner, and I made it especially for you." You softly spoke, taking a seat next to him.
He turned to you, looking you up and down. Laying a supporting hand on his back, you leaned down a bit to see his face. "You need someone; Steve told me what happened, and he thought I may be the best to--" you couldn't even finish your sentence before he snapped.
"Best to what, y/n? Understand me? NON of you understand me…" he growled. Sitting back a bit, you were stunned; you didn't know where this was coming from. "Bucky… I do understand. I've been trying to tell you for so long that I was-"
"NO y/n, you don't understand anything, you don't understand me, nobody does!" He yelled at you. You weren't scared; you were sad. You had never done anything for him to be this way to you, yet, here he was.
It hurt you to see him like this. "Bucky, please… I just."
"Get out! GET OUT OF MY ROOM; I hate you." Bucky turned, the words seething through his teeth. Your bottom lip quivered as you stood looking directly at him.
"You don't mean that.."
"I really thought that we were okay… I thought that-"
Bucky stood in front of you, your head looking up at him, "I SAID GET OUT Y/N." he pointed to the door.
A tear shed your face, setting the food down on the bed. You held in your whimpers, "W-well, at least eat. I made it just for you." You almost whispered to him. He watched as you walked away; he didn't realise what he had done. Shutting the door on the way out, you cried back to your quarters. Wanda caught you just in time, that sisterly sense she had when you were down. She sat with you all night while you told her what Bucky had said. You felt so stupid.
In the morning,
Bucky had awoken on his floor; getting up, he noticed the food sitting on his bed. Bucky couldn't remember much last night, only that he came home from the mission, and that was about it. He smiled upon seeing the wrapped food; you had written a note on it. The message you had stuck on it before you walked into his room last night because you thought he may have been in the showers.
"Because I know you like sushi, enjoy! :)"
Slipping on a shirt, Bucky collected the plate of food in his arm with a big smile on his face. Walking out and down the hall to your room, just as he was about to knock on the door. Wanda came storming down from the corridor.
"You son of a bitch!", she yelled slapping Bucky's face. The sushi you made, Bucky slipped from his hands, falling onto the floor in between Wanda and him. His mouth agape, he looked stunned. "If you are looking for Y/n, she's gone on her mission." she huffed out. Wanda gave him a nasty look before walking off. He turned quickly, running off to find Wanda. "Wanda? Wanda-" he stopped when he saw her in the kitchen.
"What do you want, Barnes!"
“I want to understand why you slapped me… What did I do? d-did something happen last night?" he asked. Wanda snapped her head in his direction, "Did you do something? Of course, you did!" She yelled. Bucky came closer to her, "I did? I seriously don't remember." he raised his hands up in defence. "I don't…" he hesitantly repeated.
"Well, this might help you!" Wanda brought her hands up, filling Bucky's mind with the memories of last night. It only took a few seconds for Bucky to fall onto his ass. He was speechless; he put his head into his hands. Wanda kneeled down, "What has she ever done to you?" she questions.
"Nothing Wanda… nothing… I don't even remember anything past coming home." He sighed. "I don't give a shit if you don't remember. Make it up to y/n! She loves you, for God sake, and this is how you treat her!" Wanda ranted mindlessly. "S-she loves me?" Bucky looked up and questioned.
Wanda gave him a shit-eating look, "Of course she loves you; everyone knows this!" She sighed, getting up. His face brightened, "I love her too, Wanda!" He spoke. He hadn't said this to anyone until this very moment, but he did love you. This was the reason; it was his fault for your rocky relationship with him. He was scared to love you, thinking you wouldn't love him in return.
Wanda turned around, shocked, "Then why tell the girl you love that you hated her." Bucky didn't know; he tried so hard to remember, "I got worked up over the mission yesterday, I set myself on auto-pilot. I'll make it up to her, I promise." He got up, trying to think about how to make it up to you.
"Bucky. I'm not in a forgiving mood right now. But just know, she has been through a lot, and you're the only one in this building which still doesn't know that. The best thing you can do is listen to her." She spoke before angrily taking her bowl of grapes with her out into the living room where Vision was.
Before the mission,
"Alright, it is a short but stealthy mission. Y/n, Steve, Nat and Clint, you'll be navigating this one." Fury spoke.
"There is intel that there could be valuable information on Hydra hard drives. We need you to extract them and burn any remaining evidence." He spoke again, everyone agreed, looking through the files. Nat had rested a firm hand on yours, "are you sure you're up for this?" She asked. You simply smiled, confirming her question with a nod.
Everyone in the room with you knew your history with Hydra; that's how you became an esteemed Avenger. Telling everyone your story led to you using your skills to help people around the world. It wasn't uncommon for them to occasionally ask if you were okay or wanted to stay behind if it ever came to a hydra mission.
Now hours later, you were on your way back to the compound. Pretty much feeling like shit. You were numb, and there was no energy left in you. Of course, you didn't let your team see it, but you were exhausted. You just wanted to take a nice shower, eat and sleep for days.
The quinjet landed, and everyone was dis-embarking the jet.
Being the last one out, you slowly made your way into the compound. Not wanting to see anyone, you made yourself a tiny portal to your room that you walked through; you couldn't care. You stood in the middle of your room, not knowing what to do with yourself. Sliding slowly against the end of your bed. Still, with your daggers and weapons attached to your mission suit. You curled up, hiding your face into your knees.
Bucky had run out from his room as soon as he heard the quinjet landing. He came into the bay, looking around for you, but all he could see was Steve, Nat and Clint. Steve smiled upon seeing his best friend, "Hey Jerk, how was your day?" Steve asked, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
"Uh… not great… where's y/n?" Bucky asked, running his hand through his hair. Nat, Clint and Steve all turned their head to look at each other before looking at Bucky. "In her room, catching an early night." Steve smiled, "Steve… I screwed up!" Bucky panicked.
Clint and Nat were putting away their things while Steve stayed with Bucky. "Buck… I don't know what to say." Steve lightly spoke. "Give y/n some time. But not today." Nat spoke before walking out the doors with Clint. Bucky looked back at Steve, "What's with everyone telling me not to bother her today? Wanda, Sam… even Tony has said the same thing."
"This mission was draining for her," Steve advised his friend before giving him another reassuring pat on the back. "If you really want to know, without bother y/n. Just ask Tony. I'm sure he'll tell you." Steve smiled, walking off.
Tony was focused on his tech while Bruce was working at his computer, Bucky had walked in, and without looking up, Tony spoke. "What did you do to my daughter, Barnes?" He questioned. Bucky stood there feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Tony… I really am. The mission got to me, and I took it out on her." Tony looked up from his laptop, "have you apologised to her?" Bucky shook his head. "Good. Like I said earlier, let her cool down." He spoke before going back to working on his tech.
Bucky stood there trying to say something, "Is there something else, Barnes?"
"That's what I wanted to ask you about." this made Tony sigh. A hand running down his chin, Tony gives Bruce a look. Walking over, he patted the surface of Bucky's back, "Come… sit", he spoke, taking a seat at one of the lab tables. "By what she tells me, you don't know that she was an ex-hydra assassin, correct?" Bucky's face was confused. He was taken aback. "Well, I'm taking that as a yes."
"You know I'm surprised that you've never come across her..." Tony continued. Bucky was wide-eyed; oh, he knew he was such an idiot. "If my time calculation is right, you would've been there the same time as her." looking directly at Bucky, "You're going to have to ask her yourself about her past. Seeing as I know about last night and the fact that you love my daughter." he let out a slight smirk. "I advise that you do one hell of a job to make sure she knows you love her." He spoke. Bucky nodded, and there Tony was, telling you bits of your story.
"I've spent almost two years not knowing she was a part of Hydra? God, I'm so stupid." he sighed, "Tony, I really am sorry." Bucky looked at him. "Don't tell me that; tell her that, bud."
He thought back to all of the times you were with him, all the times you tried to tell him. So when you said you understood him, you really were telling him the truth. Although he couldn't remember the conversation between you two last night, he knew from what Wanda had shown him.
Getting into the shower, you stood underneath the running water for quite a while.
Your thoughts floating in your head, this mission had torn you to pieces, physically and mentally. It had drained you, and all you needed was to regain your health. Cleaning yourself off and washing your hair, you spent a few minutes more under the running water. Thinking about the mission and about Bucky. Bucky was on your mind; you confided in him. He was like your best friend, so you didn't know how to feel when he did this. You tried the entire night to understand his feelings, but you weren't genuinely processing it.
Bucky was walking back to the main quarters when he heard your angered scream, "BUCKY FUCKING BARNES," looking at yourself in the mirrors. Your hair was a mix of pink and green. You furiously went into your showering, grabbing the shampoo and conditioner bottle, checking the contents; it was dye.
Bucky ran up the stairs, coming out into the halls where Sam was standing just a bit away from your room. Then it clicked; Sam turned to Bucky, "I thought you took it out of her shower." Bucky mentally face-palmed himself. "I forgot! I forgot!" Nat and Wanda were coming out of their rooms; they looked at each other with an 'oh fuck look'. Bucky turned to Wanda and Nat, who looked like they were going to kill him. "I'm sorry!" He panicked.
You were a mix of furious and sad; you paced around your room with tears streaming uncontrollably down your face. You dried your hair, slipping into a comfy jumper, some tights, and your combat boots. You pulled the hood over your head, grabbing your daggers. All you saw was red. Today all you needed was a nice shower, to have some food, put your mission gear away and then head to bed. But this was it, that was the cherry on top; you let the emotions run free.
You came out of your room to see Wanda, Nat, Sam, Clint and Vision standing there. "Where's Barnes!" You yelled at them. "H-here." Bucky came out from the staircase; your eyes snapped in his direction. Sam stood in front of your path, "y/n… y/n it was me. I'm-" you were still fuming; you had used your abilities to throw him out of your path. Clint came in sight, and you did the same thing to him.
Storming towards Bucky, your dagger was in your hand. Bucky stood there, not really know what to do. You kicked his chest in with much force that he went flying onto the ground. Groaning, you stalked closers, kneeling onto his chest, and he let you. You pulled the dagger to his throat. When you aggressively took the hoodie off to reveal your face, he could see you were crying. "You think this is fucking funny, Barnes?" You yelled at him, "I have done nothing but be nice to you!" You continued yelling at him.
Nat came in from behind you, but Bucky shook his head, "It's okay, Nat, let her." He groaned as you pushed into his chest. Still, with a dagger to his throat, he looked into your eyes as your cried. "I… I get it… I get that you hate me! I get it!" You cried out in anger. Everyone didn't really know what to do or how to react. They all just stood there watching.
"Y/n… please sweet. You're hurting him." Wanda spoke, your face dropped a bit, turning to Wanda, your eyes darkened, you couldn't get it out of your head. She saw it; she saw this look once before. This just made you a hundred times more dangerous, and you knew she wouldn't get in your way.
Turning back to Barnes, he was looking at you. "A-all I wanted was to come home, have a fucking shower and go to sleep." Your anger is apparent to him. The angrier you got, your hair began to strip of pink and green, turning into a jet black colour.
"I've called Tony," Clint reassured.
Bucky lifted his hand, he tried to caress your face, but you quickly swatted it away, "y/n… I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you…" he furrowed his brows, trying to bring back the y/n he loved. Your whimpers heard from him, "what did I do! What did I do for you not to like me." You yelled into his face. "I don't hate you Y/n… I promise you, I lo-" he stopped when you pushed the dagger further into his neck. You were too angry to let him speak; you couldn't.
Steve and Tony running up the stairs, Bucky briefly looked at Steve.
A black glow emitting from your other hand, and your eyes darkened more. Tony looked at Wanda and nodded. With a flick of her hands, she sent the dagger flying from your hands. Looking at Wanda, your eyes widened. Before you could do anything else, you were pulled off Bucky by the waist. "Hey… hey honey." You looked back to see your dad, a frown set upon your face as you dropped your hands; you gave in once you saw your dad.
Steve was helping Bucky up while everyone just stood there as you cried into your dad's arms, whimpering into his chest. He brought you into a tight hug caressing your back. Bruce came from behind, sedating you with an injection. Your eyed dilated slightly as you looked at your dad with pleas before falling limp into his arms.
Everyone watched, your hair turning back into its original colour. Bucky felt guilty, nor did he know that you had any abilities. Tony looks at Bucky shaking his head in disappointment before picking you up, carrying your sleeping body back to your room. "Friday, get Pepper over here," Tony spoke. "Right away, Tony."
"So everyone saw that?" Sam asked, "Y/n has powers?"
"Yes, she does, and it's none of your business." Wanda shook her head, walking off with Nat. Bucky was catching his breath as Steve held onto him. "I fucked up, Steve… I really did." He felt so bad. Steve looked at him with sympathy. "C'mon, Bud, let's get you back to your room. We can discuss this tomorrow." He spoke. Bucky looked at his best friend, "But I need her to know that I'm sorry… Steve, I need to tell her that I love her." He was almost in tears. "And you will tomorrow. The dose Bruce gave her will last until morning." Steve said.
Bucky sighed, nodding in defeat as he made his way to his bed. "Just trying and get some sleep, Buck." Steve closed the door behind him. Bucky laid on his bed, looking up at the ceiling all night, trying to think of how to tell you he was sorry.
"They were eventually going to find out how bad she could get..." Tony spoke, running his hand down his face, "I told you and Fury not to put her on that mission, Tony." Pepper quietly yelled at him. They both turned your way, watching as you slept softly under your sheets. "She said she was okay; I trust her, Pep. Who am I if I am not to trust our own daughter's words?" Tony sighed. Pepper's arms folded, she took a seat right next to you, caressing the hair out of your face. "Is Bucky okay?" Pepper asked; Tony rolled his eyes. "He's okay; Steve said he keeps going on about apologising."
"Are you going to let him apologise?" Pepper asked Tony.
"Mh… I'm thinking about it."
"Yes, okay… I'm not one to stop metal arm from apologising." Tony replied.
"Don't call him that," Pepper spoke, giving your forehead a kiss. "Okay... sorry," he whined before doing the same, pulling your duvets up to keep you warm…
Groaning, your eyes flutter open. You didn't move; you just stared at the ceiling. You remembered everything last night, and you felt guilty for what you had done to Bucky. Laying amongst your pillows, you continued to stare at the ceiling.
It was maybe about 45 minutes later when a soft knock on your door lured you from your daze. Bucky knocking on the door didn't bother you. You just continued your stare into the void.
On the outside of the door were Bucky and Tony. Tony stared at Bucky, whispering. "Go in, Manchurian Candidate. We don't have all day." Tony spoke, opening the door, pushing Bucky in before closing the door behind him. You were awake and unbothered by his presence.
He walked towards your bed, taking a seat next to you. "I made you your favourite." He lightly smiled; you softly turned your head to look at him then to the plate of food. Bucky indeed made your favourite food, but you had no words. You didn't say anything but turned back to stare at the ceiling. Bucky placed the plate on your bedside table. Lying right next to you, he sighed.
"Y/n… I'm really sorry about last night and the night before. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I just wasn't in the right headspace, and I took it out on you" He quietly spoke. "I'm really sorry..."
"I know there have been multiple times you've tried to tell me that you were kidnapped by Hydra… and I'm sorry it took me until now to know." He turned to you as you tensed. He was exploring your features, the ones he had grown to love since the day he first met you.
"And I-" Bucky went to speak, but you cut him off, "Do you hate me?" You quietly asked, still with your eyes to the ceiling. Bucky shook his head, "I could never hate you y/n." "Then why say it?" You asked him again. "Because I was an idiot. I was angry, but I didn't mean any of it. I was so caught up in the mission that I took it out on you." he looked down at his hands.
"It was like I lost myself when I got back to the compound. But that is no excuse for what I did to you, and for that, I will spend however long it takes to make it up to you." You turned to look at him, and he was already looking at you. Sympathy in his eyes, you knew he was genuinely sorry.
"I never meant to hurt you last night, Buck. I'm really sorry, I feel horrible." He smiled lightly at you, "You don't need to be sorry. I understand how you felt, and I'm an idiot. I never wanted to hurt you."
And like any other conversation of yours, the pair of you started fighting again.
"But you did-"
"I know I did-"
"What did I do, Bucky? Where did I go wrong?"
"Nowhere… you didn't do anything."
"But then why-" you were thinking out loud, and you didn't mean to; the words were just slipping out.
"Because I love you, okay? I love you y/n! And I am so angry with myself that waited this long to tell-"
"I love you too..." You cut in. "I know you do," you spoke again.
"You know?" Bucky questioned. You nodded, "I have been able to read your mind since the day you step foot inside this compound, Bucky. I've loved you even before you started liking me." you sent him a small smile.
He went to speak but quickly shut his mouth, taking the advice that Tony gave him about listening to you. "And when you told me you hated me, I couldn't read your mind. I couldn't tell myself that you were lying and that you said it out of the moment." A tear fell down your face. Bucky rested his hand on your cheek, lightly caressing away the tears. "I've spent months trying to tell you so you knew you could talk to me. Because I understood. I wanted you to know that we had something in common. I wanted you to know that I loved you. But you never gave me that chance."
"All the times you would turn away from me, or ignore me or even go as far as to telling the team that you didn't want to go on missions with me."
"I tried because I thought you hated me…. Until that day, when you came home, and I had made you tacos. That was the first time I heard your mind again; I had heard you say that you loved me."
Bucky smiled; he remembered that day. Thinking back to it now, he knew he never said it, but he felt it because it was true. "So you knew what I've been thinking this whole time?" He quietly asked; you nodded softly.
"So, how about now?" He asked.
You furrowed your brows and then heard it, I love you, Y/n.
A small smile paved your face, "yeah... I heard that." he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your lips which you returned.
He thought again, I'm so sorry for everything… I can't lose you, not when I've barely had you. I'm trying my best, for you and for me.
Your eyes opened back up, you stared into his eyes. "I forgive you, Bucky. Just please don't hurt me again." You whispered.
Bucky gave you a nod, kissing your forehead. "I will never hurt you again."
With the soft blink of your eyes, you believed him. You opened up your blanket, inviting him in. He took his shoes off and slide in next to you, pulling you into his arms. You smiled as he held you close to him. "Y/n?" Bucky whispered. You looked up to him humming in response.
"If it's not too much to ask, could you show me your past?" He asked; you thought about it for a second before gently nodding. Bringing your hand up, placing your hand softly on his forehead. Cuddled up together, you confided in him once and, going back to show him what you'd been trying to tell him from the very start.
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The Past Can Break You - 10
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?
A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.
You look directly at Bucky, “Oh baby, I was wondering if the Winter Soldier would like to play,” you say shaking the red book with the black star.
Bucky froze in fear. His heart is completely broken. You, his love, the woman he would kill for, is wanting to turn him into the monster.
Bucky and you stare at each other for a few moments, having a silent conversation. He finally breaks eye contact with you when your smirk widens. He looks down at Dot, who is trembling on the ground beside him.
“Dot, you need to stay back. I... I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you if she does this,” he says.
Dot looks up at Bucky terrified, “Why would you hurt me? What is that book Jamie?” she cries.
You open the book and turn through the pages, looking for the one you need.
“Y/N what the fuck is wrong with you? This is not part of the plan!” Nat shouts hoping to get through to you.
“Nat. I know you wanted to help, but obvious Jamie over there picked who he wants. I need to make them both suffer for hurting me,” you say.
“This isn’t the way to go about it. You know who those words bring out. You will never forgive yourself for hurting the man you love,” Nat pleads.
You laugh, “Nat, please.”
You look back at Bucky who is holding Dot’s arms begging her to leave. “She isn’t going anywhere!” you yell.
You look down at the Russian words before and slowly start to read off the list, one by one. Each time you read a word, you look at Bucky, who stays tensely still. After a few words you look at Nat, who looks at you with furrowed brows. It makes you smirk knowing that she is starting to catch on.
You look back over at Bucky and say the remaining words and see him straighten up, staring at you with an intensity you can feel go right through you. You look at him and cock your head to the side, and then look at Dot, who is frozen watching everything go on.
“You see Dot. Bucky boy was used and abused by these people called HYDRA. They brainwashed him and had him kill on their whim by using trigger words,” you say with a smile as you see her pale. “Now that he has been triggered, he only listens to me and will do what I say.”
Dot starts to cry and tremble, “Please. Please don’t let him hurt me,” she cries.
You coo in fake sympathy and then look at Bucky, “Soldat?” you call, and then motion for him to come and stand beside you. He walks over silently and stands by your side facing your friends. You whisper something in Bucky’s ear and then step back and he walks toward Dot.
“No one move or I will make sure you all regret it in more ways than one!” you shout to your team who stares at you and then watching Bucky walk toward a hysterical Dot.
“Jamie, please! It’s me! It’s your Dot. You love me! Baby please!” she pleads through her tears.
Bucky grabs her arm and drags her toward you before depositing her in front of you. You laugh at how pathetic she looks and squat in front of her, “Now, why don’t you tell everyone how you fucked my boyfriend. Tell them how you are nothing but a lying manipulative whore. TELL THEM HOW YOU MADE SURE I HEARD YOU FUCKING HIM!” you yelled.
Dot is sobbing harder. Steve stepped by, “Y/N that’s enough,” he said in his authoritative tone.
You look up at your captain and stand, giving him a short nod, “You’re right Cap. It is enough. So, Dot let’s try again, and if you lie I will make my soldier here do something he will regret. So tell me... did you sleep with Bucky when he came home from that mission?” you ask calmly.
Dot is too hysterical to answer and just shakes her head no. You look up at your team and then to Bucky, who has a hard face on staring at the woman in front of him.
“How did you get sounds of Bucky moaning like that?” you ask, still calmly.
Dot takes a deep breath and looks around the room and stops at Tony before looking at you. “I-I.... I pretended to be interested in FRIDAY so Tony will show me everything,” she says. “I had FRIDAY record you and James having sex and then had him change from saying your name to my name. When I heard you coming out of your room, I had FRIDAY play it in my room so it sounded like James was in there,” she says.
Bucky takes a step forward, but you put your hand on his shoulder to stop him. He looks at you and nods to tell you it was ok to release him, which you did. Now Bucky squatted down in front of Dot, “You just couldn’t let me be happy if it wasn’t with you,” he says angrily.
Dot looked at him in surprise, “Jamie?” she gasps.
Bucky gives a dry laugh, “You are as poisonous as you were back in the 40′s. I should have known better than to help you. You tried to ruin my relationship!” he yelled as he stood back up and wrapped him arm around your waist. “This woman loves me in spite of all the bullshit I have been through in my life. In spite of who I was and what I did. Do you honestly think you could handle being with a murderer Dot?” he asked her.
Dot now stood up and wiped her tear-stained face, “No. When you told me about you and your friends, I knew that I didn’t want you anymore, but when I saw you were famous... I...” she trailed off.
You scoff, “You spoiled bitch!” you yell.
Bucky squeezes your waist and then let’s go before stepping toward Dot, who fearfully takes a step back. Bucky glares at her for a moment before looking up at Tony, “Are we all set on everything?” he asks.
“Oh you bet. Small little apartment in her old neighborhood. Enough money to cover 1 months rent,” Tony said.
Dot looked at Bucky, “And what am I supposed to do with 1 months rent?” she asks annoyed.
“I don’t give a damn. Figure it out. Get a damn job, but let me tell you something. If you ever come near me, or my girl again, I will make you regret it. Got it Dolores?” Bucky sneered.
Dot whimpered and then turned running out of the room. Sam and Wanda offered to go make sure she leaves. Bucky turns toward you and cups your face, “Are you ok?” he asks searching your eyes.
You can’t help but laugh, “I made you pretend to go Winter Soldier Mode, and you’re asking if I’m ok?”
Bucky laughs and pulls you into a passionate kiss, which was interrupted by Nat, “You could have told me ya know,” she says feigning annoyance.
“You’re right. But your face when you were scared was pretty funny. How was my Russian?” you ask with a smirk.
Nat laughs, “Well when you were saying words like teddy bear and lollipop, I figured you 2 planned something without me,” she said.
“Sorry, I needed it to look as real as possible,” you said with a shrug.
Nat walks away with a smirk and you look at Bucky again. “So,” he says, “Are we ok?”
Chapter 9 / Chapter 11 (finale)
Did you really think I was going to let the reader turn Bucky back into the Winter Solider? I know a lot of people asked to be tagged, so I will comply, but taglist is now closed for this story because folks we only have 1 chapter left. Feedback is appreciated.
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old friends. bucky barnes
word count: 1.7k
warnings: swearing, angst, mention of killing, guns, knives, lots of sarcasm and anger all the good stuff
requested: heey love! just saw that your requests are open and I thought I could request a Bucky oneshot because I am really in love with your writing. so, here's the idea: the reader is a skilled assassin herself but is more like an antihero. somehow she encounters the avengers, like Sam or Steve maybe, which is how she gets to know Bucky. They start to evolve feelings for each other blabla until one day buck looses control and beats her up like really really bad cause she doesn't wanna fight him back. I'd love to leave the ending and details up to you!
a/n: i have a couple other parts already written for this and while this particular part doesn't completely fulfil the request, it is the start of something along those lines so hang in there! this is just the beginning!
you held your gun at arms length, eyes darting around the hallway as you scoped out your surroundings. your feet padded along the concrete hallway, your body clad in a skintight leather suit that was chafing your thighs like crazy. your bottom lip was caught between your teeth, turning another corner to find it empty like all the rest. you let out a humph, your eyebrows knitting for a second as you lowered your gun.
"what the hell?" you muttered under your breath. you tucked your gun back into the holster before continuing down the hallway until you reached a dead end and a single door. your hand hovered over your gun as you pushed the door. you rattled the door handle but it didn't budge. you took a few steps back before running at the door and slamming your shoulder into it with a thud.
suddenly the door cracked open and you went flying inside the room, stumbling over your own feet. your hand quickly grabbed your gun as you tried to regain yourself. your eyes travelled up, the same time you lifted your gun and in front of you stood a round of familiar faces. your eyes practically rolled to the back of your head as you straightened yourself out.
"oh god," you let out an audible groan. "what the hell are you guys doing here?"
"we could ask you the same thing," sam quipped back. you sent him a glare out the corner of your eye before redirecting your attention to steve who stood at the forefront of the team of avengers.
"god, you cock blocks always ruin my fun," your hand remained glued to the gun you held out aiming at steve, who was eyeing you up with caution.
"i wouldn't call disrupting a military organised rescue mission fun," sam couldn't help himself. you got on every one of his last nerves and you loved it.
you shrugged. "well that's why we could never be friends, bird man," you rolled your eyes back over to when he cleared his throat to intervene.
"enough," you sneered at the way he lowered his voice. "if you don't turn around and leave, we have no choice but to take you in— you know that."
"or maybe i could just go ahead and kill all of you," your smile dropped from your lips, watching steves frown deepen because he knew what kind of threat you were. "then you wouldn't have to do anything."
"c'mon, y/n," tony spoke up. you glanced at him for the first time since you barged in. the man you probably hated most out of them all. you didn't give him more than a glance.
"none of you have any idea who's dirty work you're doing here," you fought back, your grip growing tighter on the handle of your gun. your teeth gritted. "always blindly following orders, hm?"
"and what about you?" natasha couldn't hold her tongue any longer. you cocked an eyebrow, pursing your lips as the red head spoke up. "how long were you under dreykov's thumb for?"
you clenched your jaw, you took a few angry steps closer before swinging your arm so the gun faced natasha now. "you are a traitor and a coward, and you have no idea what you're talking about," you spat hastily. she didn't flinch, her arms remained folded across her chest, staring down the barrel of the gun.
"alright— enough!" steve intervened again, slapping the gun out of natasha's face. she huffed and turned away from you. "will you put that gun away for christ sake, nobody's killing anyone today."
you gritted your teeth, breathing through your nose to steady yourself. you had once gotten along with the avengers until they turned their back on you. and seeing them again was bringing back old feelings.
"you always did take her side in a fight," you dropped your gun down for a second, backing towards the door but you were halted. your back collided into another person, you turned around and saw a man staring down at you, blocking your way out. he had long, dark hair covering most of his face but the pair of piercing blue eyes was what caught your attention first. you took a step back as he towered over you, your gun slipping for a split second but you recovered quickly and tightened your grip.
"hang on—" your eyebrows knitted together as you came to a sudden realisation. "how the hell did you get your hands on the winter soldier?" your eyes trailed up and down him, his expression staying the same until you uttered the name. his jaw tightened as he glanced down at his feet for a second.
he shook his head, meeting your eyes again before he spoke. “that's not my name."
"oh really?" you teased, eyebrow twitching upwards. "we've met before, if you want me to jog your memory?” you followed his gaze as he tried to avoid your piercing stare. he shook his head a little softer this time. you gritted your teeth. "you tried to kill me."
he faltered for a split second but quickly tried to disguise it. he sniffed, shaking his head again. "i had no control—"
"oh, well that makes all the trauma you inflicted ok then—"
"y/n!" steve growled, cutting you short as his patience began to wear thin with you. it always did, you knew how to push every one of their buttons.
"cut it out, kid. you made your point," tony mumbled, his eyes struggling to meet yours. you shook your head.
"i can't believe i ever associated with you cranks."
"she was an avenger?" a voice you didn't recognise spoke for the first time, you frowned. it was young, girl-ish and wearing spandex.
"no," you narrowed your eyes at him and he seemed to shrink back away from you. you glanced at tony again. "you're recruiting kids now? that must be sitting nicely on your conscience, tony."
"i'm not a kid," the spandex clad kid in the corner tried lowering his voice to disguise himself but he'd already given himself away.
"have fun dealing with that weight when he gets killed, alright?" you teased a little too darkly.
"you never did know when to stop talking," clint chimed in for the first time.
"how's the wife and kids, barton? haven't paid them a visit in a while— 'they still living out in—"
he took a step forward, his hand moving to grab an arrow, his bow swinging up to face you but it was natasha who held out her hand to stop him.
"always so dramatic," you rolled your eyes, turning away from the gang and back to where the winter soldier stood blocking your exit. you look him up and down again. "steve, you wanna tell your guard dog to move out of my way or do i have to make him?"
"you can't leave, you're involved," steve was short, he was trying not to lose his temper with you. you made it incredibly hard for anyone to be nice to you.
"also, you just told us you came here to deliberately sabotage this mission," sam added. "we can’t just let you leave to finish off what you started."
you eyed them both up irritably. realistically you had no way of leaving if they were going to try and stop you. you were greatly outnumbered.
you humphed. "what're you gonna do with me anyhow? guarantee you'll be sick of me in a couple hours and you'll have wished you let me go right now."
"it's not up to us," tony shook his head. "you've got a lot of people looking to hold you accountable for some pretty serious shit."
you shook your head, chewing on your bottom lip. "assholes," you murmured, more to yourself than to them directly. you narrowed your eyes at him, eyebrows furrowing at the tone tony was taking with you. "if i remember correctly, you've all done some pretty serious shit in the past but i don't see that catching up with any of you."
"it's not the same—" tony shook his head but you cut him off.
"no because you have money, a shit tonne of it, so you can make it go away," you humphed, eyes dragging away from tony. "i don't see natasha being held accountable— and trust me—if you think i'm bad—“
"will you shut it," natasha snapped, her fists clenching at her side.
you let out a soft smirk, seeing her breathing heavy out the corner of you eye. "full house," you mumbled under your breath, amused that you got a rise out of every one of them in a matter of minutes. "you're all so easy."
"you're coming with us," steve ignored your comment, nodding to bucky. he picked up his shield and walked passed you without even a glance in your direction.
"fat chance," you scoffed, but before you could reach for your gun again, you were swiftly disarmed by the winter soldier. he tucked your gun away and made to grab your wrists, only for you to smack his hands away. you shook your right arm downwards, letting your backup knife fall from your sleeve and into your palm. you lifted it to his neck, the blade pressed up against his skin. "try to touch me again and i swear to god i'll kill you."
he didn't seem to flinch. he picked up on the slight tremble in your grip that might have gone unnoticed by anyone else. bucky gave you a second before catching you off guard and slapping the knife away from his throat, his hand catching your wrist before prying it out of your grip.
you huffed. "you're making the wrong call following them," you teased as he spun you around, yanking your hands behind your back and restraining your wrists with a zip tie. "trust me, you'll regret it. and i think you have enough regret to last you a lifetime, and then some.”
he turned back round to face him, his breath fanning your face he had leaned in so close to you. "why would i trust anything you say?"
you shrugged, your lips dipping down for a second. "that’s fair— you probably shouldn't."
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hoo boy, get it i guess!!
his name is buckshot or bucky!!
*bg from unsplash
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Some dangerous men get a hold of your address and Bucky comes to save your ass. What happens the next day?
Warnings: Cussing (obviously), implied smut, outright smut, fluff, god save the queen (also this is my first time writing any smut so just know that lol)
18+ Only, Minors DNI
Bucky woke up and turned so he could see you asleep on the pillow beside him. You took his breath away. It was raining outside, and the gentle light coming in from the windows lit your delicate features, making you look so innocent and sweet. You were snoring faintly and it made him smile. Even your imperfections were perfect. He would be damned if he let anyone hurt you. He kissed your forehead as lightly as he could and then snuck out of bed to get ready for the day. His legs were stiff and sore as he walked slowly to the bathroom. He turned the shower on and turned slightly, catching a glimpse of his back in the mirror.
“Holy shit,” he whispered. There were red lines criss-crossing all over his back, a couple places had scabs where you had drawn blood. He turned and checked his chest only to find it littered with hickeys and some faint lipstick stains. Memories of screams, grasping hands, and desperate moans flashed through his mind and a slow smile graced his face. Last night had been…beautiful. He stepped under the warm water and hissed, the scratches stinging a little when they got wet. But his back, hips, and leg muscles needed the heat to help relax. After washing off and jacking off, he stepped out and dried off. When he came out of his bathroom, you weren’t in the bed anymore and his breath caught. His first thought was of the Dover Boys and how the hell they could have gotten in here to take you without him hearing anything. The rattle of pans in the kitchen grounded him and he sighed in relief. You were still here.
He slipped on a pair of boxers and gym shorts and then stepped out to find you. He followed the sounds of light music and singing to the kitchen where you were making eggs and toast for the two of them. His mouth fell slightly open when he rounded the corner. You were standing there, wearing nothing but a pair of his boxers and an apron. He was quite certain that you were going to be the death of him, and no death could be sweeter.
One of your recent favorite songs was playing, and Bucky loved it too.
“Sylvia?” he called, joining in with Mickey as he walked to stand beside you at the stove.
Your head popped up and you gave him a large, joyful smile. “Yes, Mickey?” you sang.
He picked up a wooden spoon and used it as a microphone. “How do you call your lover boy?”
You used the spatula that was in your hand. “C’mere, lover boy!” you sang with all the sexy gravelly voice you could muster.
“And if he doesn’t answer?” He flipped the stove off and grabbed you by the hand to pull you in.
“Oh, lover boy?” you answered sweetly, wrapping one arm around his waist and holding your spatula microphone with the other.
“And if he STILL doesn’t answer?” Bucky bit his lip, knowing his favorite part was coming next.
You crooned, “I simply say, ‘Baby, oooohhh baby! My sweet baby, you’re the one!’”
Bucky took your microphones and set them down, taking you by the other hand and danced with you around the kitchen, the two of you singing together. The song faded out and you looped both arms around his neck. You pulled him down to kiss you, taking charge and swirling your tongue around his mouth. You loved the way you could still taste his cinnamon toothpaste. You broke the kiss with a pop and shivered, his hands coming to rest on your sides so his thumbs could brush back and forth over the exposed sides of your breasts. “I’ve got breakfast and coffee ready for us. Then, I’d like to help you deal with…the boys…today.” You looked at him with a serious face. “I don’t take kindly to someone threatening me at my own home. Can I be part of today, please?”
“Anything for you, my love.” He said. “How many hickeys do you have this morning?”
You winked at him. “One too few, I think. Could I get another one right here?” you asked, pointing to where your neck met your collar bone. “I think it would look really pretty there to show off at our meeting.” Without hesitation, he nestled his face right where you had pointed. You sighed and leaned your head back to give him more room to work. You tangled your fingers in his hair; that earned you a good slap on the ass.
He stood back up to admire his handiwork. Satisfied, he lead you to the kitchen so you could eat.
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
You sat in Bucky’s chair behind his desk, cleaning your favorite pistol and waiting for the Dover’s to show up. Steve had set up a meeting between them and Bucky, but didn’t tell them what it was about. He just said that it was a good opportunity they would want to be a part of. He was waiting out front and Bucky…well, he was pacing back and forth, getting more and more angry. Not at you, never truly at you. Even yesterday he wasn’t mad at you, he was scared and mad at the situation.
“Mr. Barnes, darling, please sit down or come stand beside me. You’re going to wear tracks on my very expensive rug.” You were tense, and he could tell by the name you used. He walked behind you and started to rub your shoulders. You knew he was trying to be helpful, but it was also a good use of his nervous energy.
“Boss,” crackled the radio on the desk. “They’re here.”
You looked up at Bucky, a bit tense but also secure in your safety here. You nodded.
“Strip them of weapons and bring them up,” he commanded.
Less than five minutes later, two gentlemen walked into the office followed by a very angry Steve. “They had weapons. I specifically told them to not bring anything and what do these fuckin idiots do? They brought these!” he shouted, dumping a pile of hand guns, knives, and a taser onto the floor behind the desk. You cocked an eyebrow at the assortment and looked back up at the boys. “Thank you, Steve. Please step just outside the door in case we need you.” You focused your eyes on the desk in front of you and began snapping your own weapon back together. “You want to walk me through that thought process, boys?”
They just stared at you. “Mr. Barnes, they’re all yours.” You said without looking up.
Bucky walked around and sat on the front of the desk, giving you a nice view of his ass and strong back. You knew you had carved into that back last night and the thought of those marks made you crave him.
You put the last piece into place and slammed a magazine into it, cocked the gun to put a bullet in the chamber, and set it back down with a loud thump. Bucky was asking them if they knew why they had been asked to visit, asked them if they knew why he had killed their cousin, the usual small talk. But you didn’t want to wait for him to do something, you were madder than hell.
“Honestly, I don’t give a fuck who we shot,” you interrupted. Bucky stood and walked to the side of the desk, holding out his hand to you. You took it and stood as well, allowing him to guide you to the front of the desk with him. He leaned against the desk and pulled your ass flush against him, rutting against you while the Dover boys stared wide-eyed. “Do you understand what this show means?” They shook their heads at you, their eyes glued to where your skirt was beginning to ride up with the friction. “You’re leaving here in a body bag. You think you can use our men to get my address? You think you can attempt to put me in harm’s way without consequences?” By now Bucky had lost control of himself. He unzipped his pants and pulled the back of your skirt up the rest of the way, burying himself in you. It wasn’t an accident you had “forgotten” to pack underwear for today. “You think you can see him touch me like this without losing your eyes? This is going to be the last thing you see. You think you can hear him whisper love words in my ear? No, you’ll lose your voice so you can never repeat them. You’ll lose your ears so it’s the last memory of sound you have. You made a big mistake gentlemen. He might be the king of this city, the head of this mafia, but I’m his queen and everyone knows you respect his queen or pay in blood.” You let Bucky go a few more moments, enjoying the sensation, the audience, and the adrenaline. “Kneel.” You commanded. The two men were crying but couldn’t seem to look away. Bucky buried his face in the crook of your neck to muffle his whimpers. You had driven him beyond the point of return, he was so far gone for you. Your demanding voice sent shivers down his spine and he had to slow down so he didn’t cum too early. “I said kneel!” you shouted.
They sank to their knees and started to beg for their lives. You whipped your pistol up and shot them both between the eyes before Bucky registered what was going on, blood splattering everywhere. You moaned and came, dragging him along with you.
When the two of you had cleaned yourselves up with the washrag and baby wipes you kept in his drawer for such an occasion, you opened the door and ushered in the clean-up crew. Bucky was slumped in his chair, still dazed. “You wanna go home, honey?” you asked softly.
He looked up at you with tears in his eyes. “I love you so much, Y/n. I mean it. Will you move in with me? We can have your stuff in my house by the end of the day.” He grabbed your hands and guided you to sit on his lap. “I know you wanna get married, let’s go ring shopping tomorrow. Can we move you in today though? I love you and I don’t want to live another day without you.” He kissed your hands and sniffled.
“Oh, baby, I love you so much, of course I’ll move in with you!” You kissed him all over his lips, nose, cheeks, forehead, everywhere you could reach.
“Steve, will you bring my car to the front?” Bucky called. “And call the Francos, the Tanner boy, and a few other trusted guys. We’re gonna move my darlin’ to my house today.” He wrapped an arm around your back and one under your knees and picked you up. “I’m gonna hold you all the way to the house, and then carry you over the threshold. There ain’t a doubt in my mind you were made for me, babydoll. You drive me insane, you know that?”
You giggled and looped your arms around his neck. “I kinda had my suspicions during our meeting today.” You were looking forward to what the rest of life would bring with your Mr. Barnes. The two of you became the most dangerous couple in all of New York. Everyone knew to respect the king, but God help whoever disrespected the Queen.
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Thank you for reading! If you wanna see more of what I've written, my masterlist is the top pinned post on my blog. If you would like to be added to my tag list, let me know, and if you have thoughts, questions, concerns, comments, or requests feel free to shoot me an ask! Love y'all!
Tags: @metalbuckaroo @airixaram @striving4averagegirl
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When Falling for an Avenger
Pairing: Bucky x paramedic!Reader
Summary: With your new job working with the Avengers secured, you're sure you'll be seeing Bucky, and everyone else of course, a lot more frequently. You're sure you'll be able to keep Barnes out of trouble enough to keep him alive. But then again, he seems to be trouble, and boy did he worm his way into your heart quickly. You only hope no one gets hurt along the way. Besides, what could go wrong?
Word Count: 5,975
Warnings: 18+ Only, pining, swearing, medical terminology, fluff, angst (it's me), minor/major injuries, mentions of death/dying, violence, what comes with being a paramedic, mentions of blood
A/N: Here is part 2 of When Saving an Avenger! This is not a stand alone! It's FINALLY done!! Not going to lie, I had a couple moments where I got writers block on this, which is why it took so long, but it's here! So... this is gonna be a long one but I hope you guys like it! Also, I'm adding my entire tag list to this mini series. If you'd like to only be on it for certain fics or would like to be on it in general, shoot me a message or leave a comment🙂.
Note: I am not an EMT so not everything is 100% accurate. Though, I have tried to google and research as much as I can. That being said, there’s still a lot I don’t know about the life of an EMT. All mistakes are my own. The gif used is not my own, credit to the original owner.
When Saving an Avenger (Part 1)
Two weeks ago, you attended an event hosted by Tony Stark. Bucky had hurt himself, again. And again, you treated the man you’d see at night when you’d close your eyes to sleep. You hadn’t seen him since you left that kitchen. As soon as you mentioned the offer to Tony, you were pulled away to actually talk about what he was offering. When you told your best friend and roommate, they couldn’t stop gushing about the it and encouraging you to do it. And they didn’t miss about the way you talked about a certain beautiful, blue-eyed, super soldier.
“So, what do you think all this with you and Sergeant Barnes means?” They had asked. You didn’t know then, and you certainly weren’t sure of it now.
You sigh, allowing your head to comfortably rest on your arms as you were leaned over the break room table.
“You alright there, Y/L/N?” Noah asks softly, nudging your arm, before taking a seat next to you.
“Hmm.” You raise your head up to look at him. There’s a sadness in his eyes when he looks at you, that you’re sure reflect back in your own, but he looks happier than you’ve seen him in a while. “Just got a lot on my mind.”
“I know the feeling.” He chuckles. “You ready for our last shift?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” You sigh before looking at him, feeling your insecurities creep up a little. “You’ll keep in touch, right? I mean, just because we won’t work together doesn’t mean we won’t be friends still.”
“You bet your ass I will!” He states, lightening the mood. “This maybe our last ride as EMS’ but you’ll always be my partner and friend, Y/N/N.”
You smile at him fondly and he pulls you into a hug. The moment is broken by the sound of the alarm ringing, and although you both know you should be running to grab your gear, you both just take a second to laugh out some of the tension. Then it’s back to work, just one more time.
Duffle bag with a few days’ worth of extra clothes and necessities- Check
Personal Items- Check
Med kit- Check
Other medical equipment on hand- Check
Stark Issued ID- Check
Mini breakdown and overthinking- Check
Ride to Stark Tower (Stark says the parking is better there than at the Compound)- Check
You take a deep breath as you triple check your to-do list. So far, it seems you didn’t forget anything. The sound of shoes heading towards you on the expensive tiled flooring has you look up to find Stark walking towards you with a big grin on his face.
“Good to see you again, Y/L/N.”
“You too, Stark.” You greet as you stand up, picking up your duffle bag and swinging it over your shoulder. “Where do we start?”
“Ah, listen.” He hesitates before motioning for you to follow him. “Before we do any of that, the Director wants to meet with you.” He waits for your reaction, watching you closely as you walk through the halls with him holding onto your small suitcase.
“Alright. Part of me kinda assumed you’d have a boss I’d need to talk to at some point.”
He scoffs slightly, then chuckles.
“Nick would love to be my boss. But he’s sort of the overseer of the Avengers.”
“Ah. So, he wants to make sure I’m not a security risk then?”
“Pretty much. Though, it’s hard to know exactly what he’s looking for. Man’s like a locked box sealed in vibranium.”
“Noted.” You chuckle as Stark leads you into a room.
“You must be the newest recruit. I’m glad he ran this one by me, at least.” A man with an eyepatch and dressed in all black says from the head of the table. “I heard of the last one just as the fighting started in an airport.
You chuckle as he stands up and walks towards you, extending his hand.
“Well, I hope to not disappoint.”
“From what I’ve heard, it’ll be rare if it happens. It’s nice to meet you, Y/L/N. Please have a seat.” He motions towards the empty chair across from him and you sit. “Your resume is pretty impressive for just a paramedic, Y/L/N. Five years of college education, a high MCAT score, but then you left and applied to be an EMT. You easily rose through the ranks at the station and had one of the highest success rates. Impressive. Of course, I have my questions. But I want to hear your story and why someone with your testing score became an EMT.”
You sigh, hoping all of this wouldn’t come up. You told Stark that you didn’t consider med school because of the tuition, but originally that wasn’t the case.
“When I first started at university, yes, my end goal was going into med school. But during my second year, my mother got sick. She never got much better, and I helped my family out with her bills as much as I could, but she still encouraged me to continue my education, so I did. I graduated and took the MCAT with her encouragement. She wasn’t alive long enough to see the results. And funerals are expensive. I moved to New York once I was financially stable again, my best friend came with me, and the rest is history.”
The room falls silent, and you can feel Stark’s eyes on you.
“Well Y/L/N, with your expertise, I’d like you to be out in the field. But you need to train with Romanoff first before you’re going on any missions. Once I get the ok from her, you’ll be traveling with the team in case there are any injuries from their missions.” You nod, already expecting this. “For now, I’d like you working with the medical staff, treating any minor injuries that are common around here.” Again, you nod. “Now I just need you to sign these forms, and this contract of employment.”
“Yes, sir.” You tell him, smiling, as you pick up the pen, wanting to get started.
You exit the room, biding Fury a goodbye and thank you, and follow Stark as he leads you through the tower.
“So, usually I’d show you everything you’d need to about the tower, but it’s all in here. It’s not too important right now.” He says, handing you a Stark Industries tablet. “You scared of heights, by chance?”
“I- uh- what? No, um, not really? Depending on how high up it is, I guess.” You stutter while your brain tries to catch up. The elevator doors open up in front of you.
“I’m going to say no then.” He says, typing something on his phone.
Without him even pressing a button, the elevators begin to ascend. You feel awkward as you shuffle on your feet, still stunned by everything.
“Tony, what is going on?” You eventually ask.
“Just jotting down a few notes in my phone.” He replies casually as the elevator chimes, completely ignoring what you meant. You falter as you exit, eyeing the small hanger you arrived at. “Oh, and our ride’s waiting.” He calls out, walking towards a Stark Industries helicopter.
You slowly follow after him, gaping like a fish.
“Come on, Y/L/N!" He calls out playfully. “There are places to go and super soldiers to see.” That has you sputtering before you send him a glare, making him chuckle.
With you and your luggage all loaded up, the engine starts up. At your confusion at the lack of a pilot, Tony explains how F.R.I.D.A.Y. is flying it. Soon, you’re both flying out of the tower. You turn your head to look out the window, and your mouth falls open in awe.
The entire New York skyline is laid out in before you as you move. Your eyes follow the buildings as they seem to slowly pass you by. You faintly hear Tony’s chuckle behind you, but it fades out of mind the longer you look.
The city eventually thins out and the countryside opens up in front of you. The steel and concrete buildings turn into greenery and winding rivers. And again, you were in awe. A glare from the sunlight caught your eye, making you blink a couple of times to clear your vision. You turned your head slightly to see what it was when you see the Compound. Again, you gape at the image, you’re sure it’s not something you’ll get used to. You’ve seen the front of the compound from the party, but seeing it from above is something else entirely.
All too soon, you two are landing. F.R.I.D.A.Y. goes through the landing procedures and the helicopter touches down with a small jostle. The noise of the engines dies down as Stark begins to unbuckle the seat belt. You follow suit while he helps you grabs your luggage.
“You ready for this, Y/L/N?” Stark asks, for the second time, as he straightens out his suit.
"Yeah." You sigh contently as you look towards him. "I am."
"Great!" He claps his hands together before setting off. You hurry to grab all your bags and follow after him.
The tour is quick as he points out the kitchen, gym, the team lounge, your room (where he lets you drop off your things), and the briefing room.
On the way to your final destination, the medical wing, Tony becomes uncharacteristically quiet. Though, you're not sure whether to ask, or to just let him tell you on his own. Before you turn around the next corner, he stops, and you look at him curiously.
"I was, uh, thinking that if you, um, wanted to enroll in a medical program to get your MD while you worked here, you could. Outside of going on missions, in due time, there really isn't that much you have to do here. You could even take it here and have Dr. Cho supervise you. It’d be part of your job too so you wouldn’t have to pay for it."
"Thanks Tony, but I don't know. I'll think about it." You say.
He nods and continues moving again. Around the corner, two glass doors come into view and you can already begin to see into the medical wing. You're so amazed at all the advanced equipment that you tune Stark out, accidentally, for a couple of moments. Everything looks so cool, you’re excited to get started.
"And this here is Dr. Cho. She'll be your new department boss."
"Oh." You turn, seeing a kind looking woman in front of you. "It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Cho. I'm really excited to get started here."
"The pleasure is all mine. I'm looking forward to it as well. And please, call me Helen."
You nod, a bright smile on your face. Tony begins to speak, only to be interrupted by F.R.I.D.A.Y.
"There's been a minor training incident reported in the gym. Mr. Wilson is requesting medical treatment for Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers."
You groan quietly as Dr. Cho starts moving.
"Hey, Doc?" Stark calls, stopping Helen from moving. "Y/L/N here can take care of Tin Man."
You turn to give Tony a small glare at the amusement in his tone. Helen hesitates but nods anyways, asking if you need anything. When you tell her, she hands you a similar med kit to the one she carries and leads you both towards the gym, Stark at your heels.
"Not a word, Stark." You say on our way, missing the weird look Dr. Cho sends you.
He scoffs in mock offense but says nothing else, you smile softly knowing he will anyways.
You enter the gym and immediately see a small circle of people, agents, outside of the training mat. When they see Helen approaching, they part showing Sam kneeling next to Steve and a fiery redhead you can only assume is Ms. Romanoff by Bucky. You click your tongue in disappointment and turn to Tony.
"Maybe the bubble wrap wasn't such a bad idea for him." You say, just loud enough to catch the attention of the circle.
He laughs loudly and you hear a faint 'Oh, you're in trouble' from Wilson.
"I'll make the adjustments to his suit." Tony snickers.
"Not fair." Bucky groans from the floor, and you subconsciously pick up the pace a little.
"What happened this time?" You sigh, taking Ms. Romanoff's spot on the floor besides him.
"No bedside manner this time, doc?" He quips, avoiding your question.
"You know I never have it when I comes to your dumbass. So what happened?" Sam snorts, though he tries to cover it with a cough. Bucky groans.
"That punk is what happened. Was his idea." He says, pointing slightly to Steve, who makes a noise of offence from his spot on the floor.
"No, no. Don't try to pin this all on me, you jerk. Sam encouraged."
"Hell yeah I did! It was one of your dumbest and best ideas this past month."
"Not helping, Wilson." Both Bucky and Steve groan, though Bucky calls him 'pigeon man'.
"Barnes." You hiss, getting slightly impatient with him avoiding the question.
Either sensing your irritation, or knowing he wouldn't say right away, or both, Ms. Romanoff joins in.
"The idiots, Barnes and Nobles, thought it would be a good idea to try and run full speed at each other while both holding big yoga balls. Sam didn't stop them." You take a quick glance around, not seeing any yoga balls off to the side but rather scraps of colored rubber. "Needless to say, didn't turn out how they expected, but I now have amazing blackmail on my phone."
"Thanks for the concern, Nat." Steve groans.
"You two are idiots." You grumble under your breath, but you know they heard it based on the looks on their faces. "What hurts, Barnes?"
"My heart for sure. My ego maybe a bit too." You roll your eyes at him while riffling through the med kit. "But seriously, my back and the back of my head."
"See, that wasn't so hard." You sass back, grabbing the stethoscope and taking his vitals. "Any headache, sleepiness, nausea, dizziness? Ringing of the ears?"
He groans, shifting. "Slight headache, I guess. Feeling slightly tired. And I'm not sure about the other ones."
"You might have a minor concussion then. Do you feel any other pain somewhere besides your back?"
"My arms a little. And my pride." He answers with a huff, you shake your head at him.
"You're lucky it's nothing worse Bucky." You scold lightly.
"Doll, I'm always lucky when I have you taking care of me."
You feel heat warm your cheeks and look away so he doesn't catch you blushing. If it was possible for you to melt by his words alone, you'd already be a puddle underneath him. Now there's some place you'd like to be.
"You were you always this charming to women back in your day?" You joke, earning you a small smile.
"Depended on the dame, honestly." You roll your eyes at that damn smirk of his, but again, can't help but smile slightly at him. It's that stupid handsome face of his!
You make idle conversation with Bucky, and even Steve, as you and Cho bring them back to the med bay. Honestly, if this is your job, if this is what you’ll be doing, you’re not too worried. This is easy, you can handle this. Besides, what's the worst that can happen like this?
Three months in, and you were totally loving your job. During week one, you moved out of your shared apartment with your friend, as the commute was ridiculous, and you had a room at the Compound already. She agreed but not before making you promise to see each other as often as you could. By week two you realized Tony was right, besides training and treating minor injuries in the compound, there wasn't must for you to do.
So, you retook your MCAT, applied to the medical program associated with Stark Industries, and now you're a full-time student. But the best part is that you're allowed to take the course at your own pace, in case missions or emergencies were to come up. Thankfully, nothing bad had happened recently. Bucky wasn't getting hurt that much either. Only little cuts and nicks from missions or training incidents. And of course, you gave him shit for it too.
The one thing you didn't like was the physical training Natasha put you through. You always left feeling sore and uncoordinated, much like right now.
You groan as you reach for your gym bag, your muscles screaming. Surprisingly enough, you managed not to fall onto the mat as much as you usually did during training. Natasha noticed as well, giving you praise. You begin to fill up your water bottle, taking note of who's in the gym now, when you notice him. Seriously, it should be illegal to look that fucking good!
The gym shorts he wears does nothing to hide his massively thick and gorgeous thighs. His tank top is so tight, you think you can see the outline of his abs, or that might be your imagination. And good god does his long hair look cute in that little bun of his. He crosses his arms, and your attention is immediately drawn to the bulging muscle of his arms.
Biceps. Biceps. Biceps. Biceps. Biceps. Female hand. Wait, female hand?!
You move your gaze from Bucky’s gorgeous physique, sadly, to the female agent who’s touching him, well, flirting with him. Bucky attempts to step back but realizes he’s already leaning on the wall, leaving him trapped.
The feeling of cold water hitting your hand, snaps you back to the bottle you were refilling that's now overflowing. You curse silently to yourself, drink the excess water, and cap it hoping no one noticed your gawking. When you look back at Bucky, he's still trapped and looking more uncomfortable by the second.
"Hey Barnes!" You call out, drawing both the attention of Bucky and the agent.
His shoulders immediately relax, and he grins your way as you walk over to them.
"I thought I told you to call me Bucky, doll." He teases, you shrug.
"Seems as if I'm usually yelling at you for hurting yourself, again and again. So I guess Barnes just stuck." Bucky makes a face and you can't help but chuckle.
"Reminds me of how the teachers used to scold me back in the day." He says with a slight grimace. You laugh.
"You? Get in trouble?" You gasp in mock surprise. "Why, I could never see that happening."
Someone clearing their throat interrupts Bucky and you can see the annoyance briefly flicker across his features. You both turn towards the agent that was shamelessly flirting with him. You suppress an eyeroll at the look of irritation on her face.
"Oh, hi. I didn't notice you standing there." You tell her with a forced smile and as much politeness in your voice as you can muster. Bucky coughs behind you, trying to cover up a laugh. "I'm Y/N."
She rolls her eyes.
"We were kinda having a conversation here before you interrupted." She sneers. Okay, so we're avoiding the politeness all together. Game on.
"Oh? Really?" You say, acting surprised. " Must have been some conversation if you couldn't wait for me to finish greeting my friend here." You say, motioning towards Bucky.
She scoffs, but before she can say anything, you feel two hands on your waist. One warm, and one cold.
"Is that all we are, doll?" He asks softly in your ear, sending a pleasant chill down your spine. "Because if I'm remembering correctly, I owe you a drink."
You lean back into his hold, hands resting over his, gym back currently forgotten on the floor, turning to look at him. Your heart skips a beat as you realize just how close he is, and your gaze flickers to his lips. There's heat pooling in your core like the start of a fire, and you just know this man is capable of ruining you. Embarrassingly, it takes several moments to remember what he said to you.
"Several." You breathe, eyes finding his. And holy shit, you knew his eyes were blue, but you think you can drown in those steel blue eyes of his and the emotions they hold.
Suddenly you're not sure if this is a dream or not, all thoughts of the other agent gone, not realizing she already walked away. The intensity in his eyes is almost overwhelming, but this time, you're not going to run away.
"S'a shame that we've waited so long." You hum in reply, eyes falling back to his perfect lips. "And don't worry," He starts, forehead resting on yours, lips brushing against you own as he speaks, "No one else caught what happened at the water fountain." You groan, eyes falling closed as your head falls to his shoulder while he laughs, tightening his grip on your waist.
"Hoping nobody saw that." You mumble into his shoulder, tilting your head to look at him, only to find him already looking at you.
"So," You sigh, lifting your head off his shoulder, "When are you going to buy me that drink?" You turn in his hold to face him, your arms coming to wrap around his waist.
He chuckles, his right hand coming to brush a strand of hair off your forehead.
"Saturday?" He asks hopefully, and suddenly seeming really shy.
"Saturday it is." You reply with a cheeky smile before kissing him on the cheek and walking out of his hold, no matter how much it pains you to do so. "Pick me up at 8. And I better not see you in the med bay before that. Can't have you missing this because your ability to injure yourself."
He laughs as you pick up your bag, turn around, throw a wink over your shoulder, and add a little sway to your hips as you leave. The grin on your face not leaving anytime soon.
Saturday morning rolled in and instead of feeling excitement for your upcoming date, dread sat heavy in your gut. For some reason, you knew something bad was going to happen today. It felt like you had to constantly look over your shoulder. No one else seemed to have the same feeling, or no one acknowledged it. But it was making you more worried by the minute.
You busy yourself in the med bay of the tower looking out over the city, studying for an upcoming exam before you had to get dressed for your night out with Bucky. Cho and a few of the Avengers were working from the tower instead of the Compound, you just happened to have some training schedule with Cho that you completed not too long ago. Despite the dread, you still smiled at the thought of seeing Bucky later. And like you wanted, you were distracted from the fear you felt. Until you were.
That's when you saw it. Movement caught your eye and you turned, unprepared to see the cloud of smoke and fire rising in the air in the distance. Your mouth hung open. The vibrations came a second later, and the alarms a second after that.
The loud noise was enough to get you moving.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y. where's Stark or Rogers?!" You shouted as you began running towards the former's lab.
"Boss is currently on the way to the hanger, Captain Rogers is heading your way."
He rounded the corner quickly and you wait for him before falling into step with the super soldier.
"Explosion in the city. I saw it." Is all you say. He nods. "What do you need me to do?"
"Suit up and get to the hanger. There's going to be casualties." He says in his 'captain voice'.
You nod before peeling away from him and heading towards the armory. Tony had designed you a suit for when you went out into the field. You didn't think you'd be needing it this soon. You open the locker Tony had told you about, finding the suit hanging up. Normally, you'd admire the white suit with black accents, but you're kind of in a rush. The suit, you notice as you put it on, has a bright red cross on the shoulder and instead of weapons in the small pockets are various medical supplies that you told Tony you might need in the field.
You quickly zip the suit up, haphazardly throw your hair up into a ponytail, and reach inside the locker for your field kit. You run to the hanger as quickly as you can, seeing the Quinjet being prepped and the Captain waiting with Wanda Maximoff.
"Stark already took off to survey the damage. Wanda, your job is to help remove the debris and any remaining fires. Stark and I will see if any explosives are involved and if there's more. Y/L/N, I don't need to tell you what to do." He instructs as you enter the jet.
You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat, and preparing yourself for the worst. Wanda hands you an earpiece as the jet takes off, the Captain flying. It takes all of thirty seconds before you're touching down. Just as the ramp begins to lower, you hear what you think is a faint boom. F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice is speaking through the earpiece not a second later.
"There has been another explosion in Times Square. Reports of hostiles engaging with civilians as well."
You look to the Captain in horror, waiting for his instructions.
"Jesus, okay everyone listen up. Y/N and Wanda, stay on task." You nod, starting to run out of the quinjet, Wanda following you. "Sam get to the first location as quickly as possible. Stark and everyone else-"
His voice fades as you take in the scene around you, jaw open in disbelief and horror. Union Square. You hadn't been there often, but it had always been crowded. The perfect target.
A thin layer of smoke covers the air, making it more difficult to breathe. People scream, wail, cry. In fear or in pain, you're not sure. Fires burn in the trees and the once beautiful park looks like something out of a horror movie. As you look around, you realize there are no first responders here yet. You are the first responder on the scene.
You push the horror down in your gut and allow the familiar adrenaline to drive you forward and into gear. Ignoring the people on the outskirts of the blast, although it makes your heart clench in pain as they cry out and reach for you, you quickly venture towards what looks like the epicenter of the blast.
"Wanda, I need you to put the fires out and quickly. I'm going to be needing help.” You call out. When you don’t hear a reply after a few moments, you turn around finding her frozen in what you could only describe as pure disbelief and horror. "Wanda!" You shout, catching her attention. Your heart clenches when you see the shine of unshed tears in her eyes, but it isn't the time to cry, not yet. "Work now, feel later! Get the fires under control." You command, knowing she needs that push into action. And it works.
You turn back around and start checking the people around you; seeing who's dead, who is beyond saving, and who you can help. You hate triaging, but you know if you don't do it more people could die. You finally find someone to help. You snap your gloves on just as you hear the sirens in the distance. You're getting help soon.
You don't look away from your current patient, applying a tourniquet to help stop the bleeding, when you hear the jets of Wilson's wings. You don't look up as he runs towards you.
"I've tagged the ones I've examined but I have so many to go over. Start triaging the ones I haven't looked at and tag them approximately for EMS'. Help as many as you can." You instruct.
He acknowledges your order and then gets to work, opening what you think is another med kit. Wanda comes over to you to help you work on your current patient when the EMTs and other first responders arrive.
Several sets of shoes begin running through the victims tagging them and getting to work. It's only when someone stops in front of you that you look up.
Normally you'd smile at seeing those from your old squad, but in this situation, you're too focused on your job. You tell Wanda to apply pressure on a victim's wound. Jake and his partner stand there, waiting for an update.
"These three," You start, loud enough for the other EMS' near you to hear as well, "Need an ambulance. Reds. The four behind me are black tags. I haven't even gotten any further." You tell them, exhaustion beginning to creep in, the adrenaline helping to keep it at bay.
They nod, shouting orders and requests as you and Wanda move onto another one. The only thing you focus on is the triage of those who are red tags and those who are blacks or who are close to becoming black tags. The other EMS' can deal with the yellows and greens. You're so focused, you don't notice the black van that pulls up.
It's only when a gun goes off that you notice them. The red symbols on their sleeves very prominent.
Another shot goes off, people scream, you see Clarissa jerk back then fall, before a red shield is raised between the victims and the attackers. The fear freezes the blood in your veins until someone is shaking you.
"Hey!" Sam shouts, making you blink then look at him. "You worry about the injured, we'll take care of HYDRA."
You nod, watching as he runs towards the fight, shake your head to clear the fog, then jog towards where Clarissa fell.
"Focus on the victims! Get them out of here!" You yell, gaining the attention of the paralyzed EMS'. You hear Jake and a few other people that you know shouting out instructions over the gun shots, but you're just focused on the sight of Clarissa, ignoring the chaos around you. She's breathing and luckily, she was able to prevent her head from hitting the pavement underneath her. She's a patient. Just a patient. Focus and get to work.
You kneel beside her, ignoring the chaos around you, ripping open her turnout gear in hopes of finding where she was hit. When you get through everything, it's not difficult to spot the wound, especially because she's got her own hand over it. Blood begins pooling rapidly on her abdomen and you quickly cover it with your palm. She cries out at the feeling. With your palm still firmly over the wound, you tilt her slightly in hopes of finding an exit wound. When you find it, you immediately bunch up some cloth from her gear and gently lay her on it to help slow the bleeding.
"Shit." You curse under your breath, rifling through your kit. "This is going to hurt." You warn her. She nods quickly, and you give her something to bite down on.
You wrap some gauze covered in a clotting agent into a small roll, then quickly begin pushing it into the wound with your finger. You tense as you hear her muffled screams but keep going. When it's in most of the way in, you let go only to press you hand back firmly on the wound. She stops screaming but still manages to whimper and pant from exhaustion and pain as you continue to work.
You seal a bandaged over the entrance wound, making sure to do the same to her exit wound. You lay her back down, slowly, wiping a sweat-drenched piece of hair off her forehead. Your other hand reaches for her wrist to feel her pulse. Her skin feels cooler that it should be, and her pulse is slowing down.
"It's ok. I'm done now. It's ok. You're going to be ok." You tell her with an apologetic smile, grabbing her hand. She nods again and you feel the familiar burn of tears in your eyes but shake your head and take a deep breath. Now is not the time!
"I missed seeing you. At the station. So thank you." She says quietly, with a pained smile before her eyes close softly.
You didn't realize before, but it had gotten quiet. The fight was over. The police arrived too, as well as more paramedics were looking over the victims. A few seconds later Clarissa is being loaded onto a stretcher and you're left sitting on the pavement, hand out as if you were still holding hers. But you're not looking where they took her away, you just stare at the blood coating the latex gloves you wear. It's almost as if it's staining your own hands.
A hand on your shoulder makes you jump, and you turn around to find Sam standing over you, looking down with concern. You try to smile at him, though you're sure it comes out as a grimace, before ripping the gloves off your hands.
You gather up for stuff, pick yourself off the ground, then walk back to the Quinjet, not speaking to anyone. Wanda walks in right after, then quietly sits down in the space next to you. Without a word, she leans into your shoulder, and you pull her into a hug, neither of you even thinking about the blood and dirt on your clothes. Sam comes in next, looks at the two of you, then heads to the cockpit. You don't even notice when the jet takes off, or lands for that matter. It's only when Sam comes to stand in front of you that you learn you're back at the Compound.
You and Wanda stiffly walk out and toward the common room. It's only then that you notice everyone was back too. But something seemed wrong.
Steve was agitated, Natasha looked worried, and you never expected to see that expression on her face, Tony was talking, no, shouting into his phone in the other room, and Bucky was... where was he?
"Is Bucky in his room?" You ask, tiredly, speaking for the first time since Clarissa had talked to you.
All eyes turn to you, and you can't help but grow uncomfortable. No one speaks.
"What?" You look around, that sinking feeling of dread back. Your eyes find Steve's. The helplessness in his eyes has the dread being replaced by fear. "Steve, where is Bucky?"
"He- they uh-"
"They got him, Y/N." Natasha interrupts. You turn towards her, sure that you heard her wrong. "When we got there, it was pure chaos. And we split up. By the time we realized something wasn't right. He, he was already gone."
You blink at her.
"No. No, you're wrong. Bucky wouldn't have let them take him. You guys just didn't see him. He's probably still there." You argue.
"He's not Y/N." Steve says. "They got him."
A hand touches your shoulder again and you immediately flinch away, turning towards your room. The noises around you turn to static, and your body moves on autopilot. You just about register the sheets underneath you as you sit on your bed, not caring about the blood, not really caring about anything. Your nose and eyes burn, and you don't stop yourself from crying, sobbing.
He can’t be gone. But he is. And he was going to miss your date.
77 notes · View notes
this is steve rogers inside of bucky's hut in wakanda and you can't tell me otherwise
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! Thank you Bucky for bringing my cake, hahaha. Miss them!
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𝐖𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 | 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈- 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧
Chapter VII | Series Masterlist
Word Count: 2.7k
Warnings: DEATH, dead body mention (nothing graphic). Major depression and grief. I’m sorry (I’d elaborate more but spoilers). I will say that this chapter goes deep into the feelings of grief, so if that is a sensitive topic for you, this is your warning.
A/N: Remember a few weeks ago when I said that one of my own works made me cry? Well… this chapter may or may not be what broke me. I’m sorry.
Some days taking care of Rebecca were good, some weren’t. It was odd how familiar the entire thing felt- helping her bathe, feeding her when she wasn’t able to feed herself, petting her hair until she fell asleep, it all reminded you of when she was a baby. Not much had changed, only now she could form coherent sentences. That is, if she had enough energy to do so.
When she did talk, she told you everything about her life, even more than she did when you were just a friend to her. She talked about her college days, about Rose- she really did love her, and it killed you that you never got to meet her- and she’d talk about her parents. There were so many people who loved Rebecca, so many people who made her who she was. It hurt like hell knowing you weren’t one of them until now, but more than anything, you wished that every single one of them were still here so you could meet them and thank them. Thank them for making her who she was, for taking care of your baby girl. Rebecca was raised by strangers to you, but they did a pretty damn good job doing it. You couldn’t help but wonder how different she would’ve turned out had you or Bucky never gone missing.
Rebecca gently shut her eyes, signaling that you could relax for a few hours while she slept. If it’d been any other person, you’d be off the clock. You’d be tired and worn out. But this was your baby. You would go to the ends of the earth and beyond to make sure she was healthy. After kissing her forehead gently- something you did every time she fell asleep as a baby- you made your way out to the living room, where Bucky was sat waiting for you.
“How’s our little girl doing?” he asked. You plopped next to him, his arm instinctively wrapping around you as you cuddled into his side. Over the time the two of you had spent together, Bucky remembered more and more about you. First, he remembered your wedding. Then the day you met, the many nights he’d knock on your door in the middle of the night just to kiss you, and nearly all of your pregnancy. The memory that hurt the most was saying goodbye to you, right before he left for the last time.
Oh, how he wished things were different. He wished he could turn back time, fake being sick and never go to war in the first place. He’d live out his days with you, taking care of Rebecca until he took his last breath, hopefully with his two best girls by his side. His aura was so full of love and warmth every time he was around the two of you, he always felt warm and fuzzy every time he looked back and thought about the 40s. He liked those days. But that was a completely different life. The one he was living now, though he was trying to get that warm and fuzzy feeling back, didn’t feel the same. He still loved you, he knew that for a fact. But he couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t the life he was meant to live.
“She’s still running a fever.” You said, “But don’t worry, she’s still our happy girl.”
Bucky kissed the top of your head. He didn’t want to imagine what was likely about to happen. He couldn’t avoid it, as much as he wanted to. But he told himself that no matter how bad it got, no matter how hurt he felt, he would help you through it. You were the one to carry her for nine months, feel her kick from inside of you, nurse her and sing her to sleep as a baby. You were the one who managed to find her after all this, and now you were the one taking care of her again. You were in for a world of hurt, and though you were denying it and remaining positive, Bucky couldn’t avoid the truth.
Allowing yourself to relax for the first time all day, you listened as Bucky talked about his latest mission with Sam. To your objections, Bucky continued fighting. You were upset by his decision to keep putting himself in danger, but after hearing why he wanted to continue, there was no talking him out of it. He felt as though he owed the world something- something good. He’d spent decades hurting others- becoming an Avenger was his way of repaying his debts and clearing his guilty conscience.
You felt your eyes get heavy and your mind start to wander. Slowly, Bucky’s words began to fade, and you took in a deep sigh. You hardly got to relax like this anymore, with all the worrying, fighting, and working. The couch was too comfortable, Bucky’s body was just warm enough, and you dozed off. Bucky couldn’t even be upset, he knew how hard you worked and that you deserved to rest. Plus, you looked adorable as you slept, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.
Bucky often found himself wondering how you still chose to be with him. After everything, you still saw him as who he used to be and who he had the potential of becoming. You didn’t see the monster HYDRA made him. You didn’t see the man who’d killed hundreds of people. You still chose to be his life partner, seeing him as your downstairs neighbor from Brooklyn who you fell in love with. Tracing your jawline with his finger, Bucky couldn’t help but think about how strong you were compared to him. Taking care of Rebecca, helping him remember his old life, adjusting almost immediately to a new life and continuing to be wonderful and kind- you could handle anything, and you did it all without him. That, above everything, made him fall deeper in love with you.
Gently, Bucky picked you up bridal style and moved you to your new bedroom. Since moving into Rebecca’s house to take care of her, Bucky let you have the only other bedroom while he slept on the floor in the living room. He still considered himself your husband, he was still very much in love with you- but he didn’t want you to be there when his nightmares came. They were worse than they were before. Now that he was remembering his life with you, he was also remembering all the years in between the 40s and now. All the people he’d hurt, all the lives he’d taken. You always told him that you had no problem with him sleeping next to you, but he knew it was for your own good. He didn’t feel deserving of a bed, and would much rather take the floor, in a room where you couldn’t hear or feel him wake up.
Three hours had gone by. Three peaceful hours. Bucky had managed to get a few minutes of shuteye, and you were particularly comfortable in the spot Bucky had tucked you in. Your alarm went off to check on Becca, one you set every three hours in the night, just to check if she needed anything. Bucky heard the familiar alarm from the bedroom, followed by the door opening and your footsteps heading over to Rebecca’s room.
This life you led with Bucky, it had a funny way of working. The minute things started to feel perfect, something just had to be taken away.
Bucky’s eyelids started to get heavy again, the idea of getting a few more minutes of sleep in creeping into his mind. Then he heard you wail from the bedroom, and he was immediately on his feet, any feeling of tiredness gone the second he heard your distress.
He ran as quickly as he could to the main bedroom, eyes fixated on you crying in front of Rebecca’s bed. Rebecca looked exactly as she did when she fell asleep. She hadn’t moved a single muscle.
Rebecca was gone. His biggest fear, the inevitable, had become a reality.
“No, no, no,” you kept repeating, a sob emitting from the back of your throat. This was the deepest, most guttural pain you’d ever felt. Like someone had stabbed you in your heart and ripped it out with their bare hand. You knew this would happen. You knew it had to happen, Rebecca was in her seventies, but you wanted so badly for it to never happen. That she would live forever, or at least until after you and Bucky were gone. Not now. Not like this.
You heard Bucky crying with you. He was holding you while you cried and screamed into his chest, painfully listening and holding onto you.
Your baby, the old woman who you were able to identify from a mile away as your daughter, was gone. Your heart ached as it shattered in your chest, leaving broken pieces that were beyond repair. That baby who you’d worked so hard for, who you loved with every ounce of you and more, who lived an entire life that you were so proud of. Gone overnight.
When the coroner came, you felt nothing but numbness. You watched as they took Rebecca off of her bed and onto the stretcher, though Bucky could tell it would’ve been better if you looked away. You had to lie through your tears, saying you and Bucky were her caretakers. Not her parents- that was Edward and Marjorie, and they were long gone. Only you and Bucky knew the complicated truth, and you wanted to scream it out to the world, but it would only make things worse.
Though your heart still ached every day you were without her, and you found yourself randomly crying throughout your days, you found a little more comfort every day. It wasn’t the same kind of comfort you once knew, and you knew it was likely you’d never feel the same way again, but little things added up. You found support through Bucky, Steve, Sam, Natasha, and everyone else at the Compound. They made it clear to you and Bucky that you always had a home with them. And though you weren’t ready to step back into Rebecca’s home just yet, you knew you had a room at the Compound waiting for you.
The room was just as bare as it was when you left it, not a single indication that anyone had ever lived here or put any effort into decorating it. You ended up exactly where you started, confused and lonely in a bare room. Only now, you had one of the people you’d been yearning for. And while having Bucky was great, he didn’t fill the void that Rebecca had left behind.
Bucky approached you slowly, watching you reach into your pocket for the folded up picture of Rebecca’s first birthday. She’d given it to you shortly after you told her the truth, claiming you needed it more than she did.
“You hungry?” Bucky asked, wrapping his arms around you from behind, “We can go somewhere if you want.”
He was trying his best. He didn’t know what he could do or say to make you feel better. He didn’t know what anyone else could do or say to make him feel better. He lost his daughter, too. Bucky felt the numbness. The void. The heartache. And he wanted more than anything to make it go away; if not for him, then for you.
“How do people move on?” you asked, placing the picture in front of you on the mantle and looking at it. You looked so happy. So did Bucky. Rebecca’s first birthday was a day you’d always remember- one of your last happy memories before things went south. More than anything, you wanted to go back. To hold your baby one more time, to live in that ignorant bliss. “After a loss like this? You see it in the news, people losing their children. I would think ‘If that ever happened to me,’” you shook your head, at a loss for words as you looked at the ground, “and now here I am.”
Bucky held you a little tighter as you tried to hold back the tears. You didn’t know you were capable of producing so many until now. But with the quiver of your lip, and the tears blurring your vision, you had no choice but to break. Turning around to face Bucky, you buried your head in his chest. “I just want my life back, James. I want things to be the way they used to. Before everything.”
Bucky’s heart was already broken the minute he saw Rebecca, but hearing your words and how hurt and hopeless you sounded, it only made the damage worse. Both of you had produced enough tears to fill an ocean, and you knew that pain would stay as long as both of you were still alive.
“I don’t know what I can say to make you feel better, I’m just as lost as you are.” Bucky admitted, his voice nearly a whisper, “But I love you. And I love her. Nothing will ever change that.” He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.
“I’m not hungry.”
“I’m just tired.” You found yourself saying that a lot. To avoid talking to anyone or hearing the overwhelming amount of condolences you were receiving, you slept. It seemed like all you ever did was sleep nowadays.
“Okay. I’ll let you rest.” Bucky said, pulling away before you stopped him.
“Can you stay? Please?” You had a hint of desperation in your eyes.
Bucky always seemed to be unable to say no to you. Even back then, the very idea of upsetting you took a toll on him, so he always bent over backwards to make sure your needs were met. On your first date when he stole an apple for you- he was perfectly capable of buying one for you himself, but he wanted to see you smile. When you were pregnant, all the times he’d make his way to the convenience store at an ungodly hour because you were craving Peppermint Patties- he was on a first-name basis with the owner and he was about as involved in your pregnancy as Bucky was with how often he bought the candies from him. And now. Your heart was in pieces. You’d just experienced the biggest heartbreak imaginable, a heartbreak no person should ever go through. And you were asking him to stay with you. To lay in the same bed as you. He had to oblige, because if it made you feel just an ounce better, it was worth it.
He laid in bed next to you, stiff on the mattress that was a little too soft for comfort. No matter, he could ignore it for now.
You wrapped your arm around Bucky, holding onto him in a spooning position that made your heart feel slightly better.
The idea of peace seemed far away. Maybe it would never come at all. Right now, despite holding onto your husband and feeling the bond you two created decades ago grow stronger, you felt as though you would never feel truly happy again. There was still a pain that would never leave. But there was an understanding between you and Bucky that things would always be different now, and that you’d have to help each other through all the low moments.
But you knew you would help each other. You were all Bucky had, and he was all you had now. So you held onto him tight, fearing that if you let go, he would just be another thing you would lose in this new, harsh reality.
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Bucky, pointing: May I sit there?
Steve: That’s my lap
Bucky: That doesn’t answer my question, Stevie.
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The Falcon And The Winter Soldier
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