#bucky barnes angst
this game | bucky barnes
pairings: bucky barnes x female reader
summary: you hated him and he hated you, so why does he always crash girls night with the hopes of finally taking you home.
warnings: “enemies” to first kiss, fluff, fake hatred for each other, cuss words
You step out from your car and gather your things. You are late to dinner with a few friends so you walk as fast as your heels allow. You finally reach the restaurant and make your way inside, you lock eyes with one of your girlfriends and make your way over to them.
You stop dead in your tracks as you realize your best friend has brought her boyfriend Sam and seemingly enough, his best friend Bucky tagged along.
You can’t help but roll your eyes as you were not expecting girls night to be ruined by these two idiots.
You meant no offense to Sam. Sam is great, he’s great to your best friend and that’s all that matters.
Bucky on the other hand... You are not a fan. Literally. He’s cocky and arrogant. He is one of those guys who knows he’s attractive and he uses it to get what he wants.
Look, just cause he’s an avenger and saves the world every now and then doesn’t make him the coolest, most attractive, perfect, person ever.
Well that’s what you tried to tell yourself.
You knew deep deep down that you had a slight crush on Bucky. Slight.
But absolutely hell to the no will that ever reach the surface let alone be something that is ever discussed.
So you will continue your silent hatred for him as a way to cope with the fact you just want to run your hands through his hair and kiss his perfectly sculpted lips.
“Y/N!” The girls cheer as you approach the table. You give a smile and wave and sit down. Of course the only open seat is the one beside Bucky but you pay him no mind as you throw your purse and jacket down.
“Nice of you to show up.” He scoffs in your direction.
Bucky shares similar feelings to you. He isn’t necessarily your biggest fan either. It’s a mutual hate you have for each other and it’s fine. You both respect it.
“Nice of you to crash girls night... again.” You fire back. He cocks his head in your direction and raises an eyebrow at you.
Jesus. Sometimes he’s too attractive. You roll your eyes at him and turn to your other friends. You make your way through dinner and Bucky and you have simultaneously ignored each other. It’s been great. Your best friend and Sam kept being overly affectionate despite receiving boos and moans from the table. The time comes to pay and you realize you forgot your wallet at work.
“Fuck.” You whisper to yourself. Bucky hears your comment and glances up at you.
“Something wrong?” He asks with an eyebrow raised again. His Brooklyn accent so fucking pretentious. Sometimes you just wanna shove him against a wall and...
“Yes. Well no. It’s nothing. I just forgot my wallet at work.” You begin to brush him off and ask one of your other friends to help cover your tab up when Bucky grabs your check. You try to grab it back and he pushes your hand away.
“James.” You say with your sternest voice.
“Chill, doll.” His voice sharper than yours. You sit back and sigh. Sometimes he isn’t worth fighting. The waiter returns and you all say your goodbyes.
You and Bucky seemed to have parked on the same street so you walk silently together. You approach your car and you turn to thank him again for buying your dinner.
“I can Venmo you.” You attempt to open your door and grab your phone but instead stop yourself as you hear him chuckle to himself. You turn back around at him very confused.
“You’re such a fucking idiot.” He whispers but loud enough you can make out each syllable.
“Excuse me?” You question why the fuck he just insulted you like that.
“You don’t need to pay me back. It’s fine.” He continues laughing to himself and you are utterly confused.
“What is so funny?” You cross your arms and use his own eyebrow trick against him.
“You. You are funny. This game we play is funny.” He continues on.
“Game? What ga-“ You attempt to say back but suddenly his hand wraps around the back of your head and pulls you into him. Your lips crash against each other. His kiss is hard and possessive and you can’t help but instinctively wrap your hands in his hair.
Ah. It’s as soft as you thought it would be. He deepens the kiss and you let out a small moan into his mouth. You can feel him smirk against your lips. His hands have made their way from the side of your face, to your hips. His aggressive hold on your hips is enough to make your head spin. He finally pulls back for air and smirks at you.
“I knew it.” He continues his smirk.
“Fuck off” You scoff at him and try to regain your composure. You gently push him away from you but his grip on your hips is too tight. He laughs at your attempt and leans back in and places a soft kiss on your forehead.
“I knew you liked me.” He smiles and pulls away.
“You’re the one who kissed me!” You exclaim and he chuckles.
“Yeah and?” He raises an eyebrow at you.
Game. Fucking. On.
“So that’s it? Just the one kiss?” You question and he tilts his head in confusion.
“What you want more, baby girl?” He growls.
“Come back to my apartment.” You demand.
A wide smile emerges on his face and he turns to run to his car. You practically race each other back to your place and enjoy a long awaited night together.
a/n: enjoy this random fluffy piece hehe <3
taglist: @marvel-ous-miss-maisie | @stucky-my-ship | @dancer3205 | @capmanranger | @wooyugta | @marvelfansworld | @heretokilltime | @russosprettydiamondnow | @voguesir | @silentkiller2374 | @igotnoname4thisblog | @sunflowerfive | @smokeinherperfume | @daybleedsintonightfa11 | @granpafrisbee | @straightforwardly
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What Has Been, What Can Never Be Masterlist (coming soon)
Summary: Steve Rogers had returned to the past, hoping to move on from the chaos of the future. Leaving the woman that had loved him as someone more than just the persona of Captain America and his best friend that has always been with him until the end of the line.
But as he had come to settle in this new life back in his own time, regret was somehow coming to follow. When he decides to return to the present, things have changed and you, the woman that had always promised to be there for him was now happy with his best friend as the two of you moved on with your lives without Steve Rogers in it.
Characters: Bucky Barnes x Witch!Reader; Ex!Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader; Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter. Sam Wilson. Helmut Zemo. Sharon Carter.
Series Warnings: Post-Endgame. Post-TFAWS. Angst. Smut. No Closure to a Breakup. Profanities. Talks about Death, PTSD, Anxiety, Alcohol Consumption. Other specific warning to be added per chapters.
A/N: Shout out to @secretsthathauntus for giving me this idea. Hope to be able to make justice to this one. Thank you so much~
For The Ones That We Lost
For The Ones That We Gained
For The Ones That Has Regrets
For The Ones That Never Recovered
For The Ones That Finally Moved On
For The Ones That We Cherish
For The Ones That Come to Realize
For The Ones That Never Lives
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Pairing: Bucky X Reader
Summary: Bucky keeps his promises.
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Language
Word Count: 1K
A/n: I’m feeling a lil down but that’s probably because of the moon and the equinox coming up. send movie recs cause I’ve got mad writers block still. I’ll be posting shit that I wrote a while ago so it might be garbage rat but oh well
Companion piece to Promise.
Five painfully long years, where each day is just as bad as the one before.
Wakanda lost its leaders.
The Avengers lost half of their team, their family.
And you lost your other half.
The only man you’ve ever truly loved.
Five years is a long time to be without someone, yet every day something new reminds you of him.
More than once you’ve found yourself begging the Gods to bring you to him. If they won’t give him back, the least they can do is let you go with him.
But every time you’ve gotten close to the edge, his voice whispers in your ear to stop, that it’ll be okay.
And so far, you’ve survived.
Steve comes to check on you every so often. In the beginning, he was practically living with you. Making sure you didn’t do anything rash.
But now you’re lucky if you see him once a month.
And if he’s on time, he should be here any day, now.
You’re in the back yard of your new home, fighting with some particularly stubborn weeds in your vegetable garden.
You wipe the back of your hand across your forehead, wiping away the sweat and leaving mud in its wake.
Since the blip, you’ve moved out of the house you shared with him, gotten a new place, and a job that understands deeply how much the snap affected you.
Almost all your free time is spent in your garden.
He’d wanted to start one for so long, but neither one of you got around to doing it. Now, it’s something you do for him. Something he could never do.
Thinking about him still hurts, but not nearly as much as before.
Steve says it takes time, but you don’t think any amount of time will stop this ache in your chest.
“Steve said I’d find you back here.”
You stiffen, heart skipping one beat, then two, before doubling its pace in your chest.
It can’t be.
You don’t turn around, far too afraid that this is just your mind playing tricks on you again.
It hurts. It fucking hurts and you shake your head to try and get the voice to go away.
You thought the hallucinations had stopped.
Tears well up in your eyes and you wipe your trembling hands on your shirt.
“Go away. Please. I-I can’t do it anymore. No more. Please.”
Your voice is a tired, broken whisper that absolutely shatters his heart in his chest.
Two hands are on your back, one warm and one cool, and you snap your head up at the contact.
You spin around and launch yourself into his arms, sending him sprawling onto his back in the grass.
“Whoa! Easy there, honey.”
You cling to him, sobs bubbling out of you.
“Are you real? Is it... is it really you?” You don’t want the answer, far too afraid that he’ll slip through your fingers like he did so often during that first year.
“I’m real, love. I’m real.”
You shake your head and push yourself off of him, crossing your arms over your chest and glaring at him through the blur of your tears.
“You promised! You fucking promised!” You spit the words with venom rivalling a viper, and he frowns at you.
He made you a promise and then he broke your heart, and now he’s sauntering back like nothing happened.
“I’m here, aren’t I? I told you, sweet girl, I never break my promises. Just... took a little detour on the way home, I guess. Sam wanted to stop for McDonald’s. Came back later than I thought but I’m here. I’m here now, baby.”
Your anger and betrayal are washed away by the tears of joy that fall freely from your eyes, and Bucky wipes them away with his thumbs gently.
He holds your face just like he did that day five years ago, and you can’t stop your bottom lip from wobbling.
“How... why... why now? Steve said...” You trail off, squeezing your eyes shut and shaking your head.
What Steve said doesn’t matter. He’s here now. He’s back.
He pushes himself onto his knees and pulls you into his arms, holding you tenderly to his chest.
“I’m here, honey. I’m here. Did you really think I could break a promise I made with my best girl?”
You don’t answer, your face smushed in the crook of his neck while you cling to him desperately.
So many years you wished for this, and now he’s here.
It feels far too good to be true.
He kisses the top of your head with a heavy sigh then slowly pulls away to look at you, wiping some dirt off of your face.
“It’s okay, my love. It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay. I’m home now. And m’not gonna leave you. Not again.”
You sniffle and look into his eyes.
“But what about... your team? Your family?” He shakes his head and cracks a soft smile.
“You are my family. And... I wanna start my own team. Me, you, and a buncha chubby little babies.”
You let out a wet laugh, shaking your head at him.
“You can’t just... quit.” He nudges his nose against yours gently then presses his forehead to yours.
“Already did. I’ve been fighting for almost eighty years now. I deserve a break. Fought in the Second World War, the first intergalactic space war, the second intergalactic fucking space war. I’m done. No more fighting. No more war. Just me, my best girl, and our fat babies.”
You shake your head again and smile, holding onto his wrists with your muddy hands, but he doesn’t care how dirty you get him. All he cares about is having you in his arms now and forever.
“You’re really here? To stay? Y-you promise?” He nods, his own eyes getting teary at the hope in your voice.
Your heart is so full of love and longing and optimism. And this time he’s not gonna break it.
He grasps your hands tightly in his then switches his grip, linking his pinkies with yours and pressing his lips to yours softly.
He takes a moment, re-learning the way you feel, the way you move, then falls into a familiar pattern.
Kissing you is like muscle memory. He could get his memory wiped again and again, but he’d never forget how it feels to have your pillow-soft lips against his.
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𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞
summary: your boyfriend was always there for you even though it was not from the start, as long as you’ve had him.
warnings: fluff (in extreme amount), not that much angst, smuut, grinding, oral, face riding, unprotected sex, drunk state (no drinking though) —not sure if this makes it dubcon—, mentions of masturbation for both parties, some voyeurism, creampie, size kink, usage of pet name. (kitten, angel, baby, dollface), chubby!bucky, bucky is also retired if that makes sense, a bit body insecure bucky, engagement, minors dni | 18+
a/n: i just wanted that can makes us smile, hope to see some feedbacks (reblogs/comments)
You were almost going to fall down when you opened the door, but two strong hands held you before you could make it to the floor. You didn’t even remember putting the key in the keyhole, so the door must be surprisingly opened.
“Wow! You are stable as a fish in a vodka bottle.” He sighed as he tried to make you stand on your feet. He helped you to make your way onto the couch, getting your bag from your hands and taking off your heels.
“Did you enjoy your party at least?” You shook your head, trying not to vomit on the beautiful rug you bought on sale.
“‘missed ya.” You said those words without vomiting. Eyes still closed, because if you opened them you knew you would vomit.
“Yeah, you’ve sent me at least twenty texts about missing me, and what you were going to do with me when you get back. After that it was just a combination of random letters.” You chuckled yourself as your fingers rubbed your temples.
“I’ve made you some coffee, you need to at least sober up a bit. Don’t fall asleep before I get back.” You nodded, shaking your hands and signalling him that he needs to be quick.
You tried to sit up, abruptly. Before falling back again. You’ve heard your boyfriend’s gentle chuckle as he put his hand on your back to support you. “Here you go. It’s not too hot, I know you don’t like it like that.”
“What would I do without you?” You mumbled as you raised the mug to your lips.
“Well, considering we were roommates before we started dating. You would still be on the debt and have the chance to lose your place.” You chuckled to him.
“Yeah, and who would watch me masturbate? Long time before deciding to join.” You blurted it out, the start of your relationship.
“You knew I watched you.” He said, his cheeks getting the colour of soft pink. This detail of your relationship was not something he was proud of.
“Sure did. I put on several shows just for you.” You said as you gave him the mug back. “My one and only fan.” You winked at him, and he shook his head.
He softly smiled, leant in to kiss your temple. “Yeah, I’m just glad you didn’t give my old body a heart attack.” He said as he helped you to raise yourself. “Let’s get you in something more comfortable.”
“Are you going to let me wear something from you? You never do.” You giggled when you tripped on your own foot. He held you again before you fall. Holding your shoulders as he walked you towards your room.
“It’s because you own every top I have, kitten.” He said as he opened a drawer from your comforter. Shaking the red Henley in his hand. “Such as this one.” He said while walking over to you.
He raised his hands in the air, making you copy his gesture. “Let’s take this top off, it’s a bit tight for you to sleep in.” He explained as he took off your top, and helped you wear his Henley. “That’s a good girl. Now I’m going to take off your pants, alright?”
You nodded, staying still as he unzips the zipper and pulls it down from your legs. “Hold on to me honey. You’re not great with balance.” You did as he said, holding on to his shoulder as he took it off one leg at a time.
“Time for your bra?”
“Now you’re a pro of taking it off. You’ve been struggling at the first times, remember.” You added as he dipped his hands inside from your shirt. You giggled when the cold metal made contact with your skin.
“I don’t like this, it prevents the easy access.” He shrugged as he tossed the material off from your body to the ground.
“You always have access when you want to touch me. Like rightnow. ” You slurred the last part. Slumbering on your bed, and soon Bucky followed you.
“I know, I wouldn’t control myself, you’re my addiction.”
“So if I asked you to just kiss me, would you do it? Even though I’m drunk as fuck.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but all his thoughts stopped when he saw you making puppy eyes. He groaned as he leant down to kiss you.
Unlike him, a retired super soldier, you could be fast when he gets lost in the kiss. So in mere seconds you were straddling him, hands going to the back of his back.
“I missed you, you didn’t come to the party. You need to make up for it.” You cut him short, grinding on his semi hard cock.
“You know I don’t like the big parties. Also it was one of your girls only party, who are not my biggest fans.”
“Like their partners are so perfect.”
“They think I don’t deserve you.”
“Since when you care about what other people think. If you do care that much, I think I’m the luckiest gal in the world since I have you right here between my legs.” You both laughed at your joke. His flesh hand snaked behind your back and pulling you in for a soft kiss on the lips.
“I love you, but you’re not lucky as me. You’re gorgeous.”
“You’re drunk.” You said, rolling your eyes as you gave him one more kiss.
“I didn’t drink, you on the other hand, drank for the both of us.” He chuckled, placing his hands on the both sides of your face. His metal thumb brushing along your cheekbone.
“So I did. What the hell, I made it home. I made it to you. And I love you so much that I couldn’t stop myself from thinking all the thing I want you do to me, when I get back.”
“Yeah, you even sent me some links too.”
“Did you watch them?”
“Of course. You know I like it when you send me those, my angel is not innocent after all.” His hand went your waist, holding you while you were softly grinding yourself to him. “I also like seeing you on top.” He admitted, raising his hips a bit more to feel you better. You moaned at the feeling. Smiling when you realised that he turned you into a bitch in heat. You were always needy of him.
You started grinding your hips a bit faster. Pressing yourself on his now hard cock. He placed his other hand on your hips, gently holding you, because how could he deny you when you needed him that badly. “Shit! Bucky you feel so good.” You let it out under your breath.
“I want you to fuck me, please! Please!” Your hands went to his pyjama buttons, taking out his cock and you clumsily slide your underwear to the side. You needed to feel him. You gave his cock few strokes before sitting on it.
“Fuck!” He moaned when he felt your slit around his cock. You were so wet that it was a miracle he didn’t slide inside you yet.
“You see what you do to me? You’ve made me all wet and needy. I didn’t even took my underwear off.” You mumbled. “I need you inside me, Bucky. Please, I need it so bad.”
He leant over you, standing on his elbows to kiss you. You both moaned into the kiss, when you aligned his cock with your entrance as his hands found and ripped your underwear.
You whimpered on his parted lips when he was seated inside of you. You threw your head back with the pleasure, as he placed open mouthed kisses along your neck. Teeth nibbling and biting around the sensitive spot of yours.
“Use me, I want you to fuck yourself on my cock.” He said, thrusting his hips inside of you. You took it as a sign to move. You both were moaning, hands can’t decide to where to hold on.
“You feel so good Bucky! I found heaven!” You said, hands going his large tshirt, trying to take it off. He tried to stop you, afraid.
Even though you’ve caught many glimpses of each other while you were naked, he was still hesitant about showing you his body.
“Please! Let me see you.” You whispered, kissing his rosy cheeks. “I love you Bucky. You’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” You mumbled. Slowly taking off his top, smiling when your hands found his chest.
Your fingers played with his chest hair. Before you could say anything he slammed his lips on yours again, making you wrap your arms around his neck. “My beautiful girl.” He whispered on your lips. Pulling you close to him. His hands went to your butt, harshly squeezing it.
You moaned on his lips. As he placed a slap on your butt. “Naughty girl. You couldn’t spend three hours without my cock filling you!” You nodded, feeling proud of your hunger.
“Fuck! You’re so big!” You mumbled, feeling your walls clench around him tighter as the sweet pleasure inside of you was building.
“Yeah?” He asked, hands inside your his Henley. Playing with your erected nipples, taking one of it between his warm lips.
“I’m gonna cum. Can I cum? Please?”
“Cum all around me kitten.” He leant on your other nipple, sucking on the soft flesh when your orgasm hit you.
You came all around his cock, your body feeling tired since the caffeine of the coffee left your body.
He pulled out, slowly with a pop sound. “You’re always hard to last long when you’re drunk.” He chuckled as he kissed along your body, lifting his shirt to place kisses on your stomach.
“Sit on my face, kitten.” You smiled, doing as he wanted. You felt yourself getting wet when you felt his stubble brushing along your clit.
He licked a thick strap along your slit. Making you cry again. He moaned when he felt your taste around his tongue. He lazily draw circles around your entrance before going back to suck your swollen clit. “Mmhm! Bucky!” You moaned, hand going to his long hair.
“I love your taste, kitten. I can spend hours if I have to, but you...” He said as he licked his metal finger before shoving it inside of you. You yelped under him. “will come for me.” He rutted his hips on the sheets, diving back to suck on your clit as he slowly fingered you.
He pulled out his fingers, licking and sucking them clean before he got on his knees again. “Mmhm Bucky.” You giggle, seeing his cock almost turned into purple, that was your effect on him.
You knew you were close to cumming, you always loved how good he was with his tongue. The pressure on your belly was increasing at each stroke of his tongue. You were uncontrollably moving your hips on his tongue. “I—I” You mumbled, couldn’t stop your moaning.
“I know kitten, go on.” You came down. Chest panting rapidly. You threw yourself next to him, he climbed on top of you. Peppering kisses starting from your thighs to your collarbones.
He aligned his cock to your tired entrance. Rubbing it in circles. “My good kitten.” He explained as he pushed into you again. You could almost hear him move between your slick walls.
He started slowly moving inside of you, raising your knee to your chest. “Baby you feel so good.” You gasped when he hit your sweet spot with the new angle.
“Yes!” He moaned when he bottomed out, hands holding yours. He placed them above your head before he fastened. He was going fast and rough, your walls pulsating around him. “Fuck! So good! That’s my good kitten, taking me in!”
The sex was filthy and messy but you didn’t care. You didn’t care the fact that half of your clothes were still on you, you didn’t care you forgot to shave. You didn’t care your make up was still on your face.
You didn’t care any of it, all you cared about was your boyfriend between your legs.
He leant down, biting down your shoulder to trying to control himself. It was a hard for him considering how much of a mess he turned you into.
“I love you.” You whispered on his lips. “I’m in love with you Bucky Barnes.” You added before kissing him again, leaning your forehead on his.
“Fuck!” His hips stuttered inside of you, he was close on the edge. You telling him that you loved him still did the trick.
His fingers went to your clit. He pinched and swirled the little bulb, making you cry under him. “Bucky!”
“Come for me, kitten. One more, you can do it.” He said, caressing your cheek.
“Bucky cum inside me, please?”
“Yeah, you’d like don’t you? Want me to fill you to the brim?” He stayed inside of you for one second, pulling the top so he could kiss your breasts. Sucking and biting your swollen nipples from his early attack. “You’d like me to get you stuffed, right? You don’t need to say it, ‘can feel how you squeeze me.”
“Yes! I want all of that! Please Bucky, fill me up, please.” You wrapped your other leg around his waist. “Please, I want to feel all of you.”
“Fuck!” He said as he emptied all of him inside of you. Pulling out with a hiss.
You smiled when you wrapped your arm around his torso. “Thank you, Bucky.” You plated a kiss on his exposed chest. He chuckled, petting your head.
“Are you thanking me for fucking you?”
“I swear there is not one single day which you don’t surprise me.” He said as he fixed his boxers, moving towards the bathroom. “Stay awake for a few minutes, kitten.”
Before you could ask him why, he came back with a box of make up removal tissues. “Told ya these were handy.” He said as he sat down, cleaning your make up. “‘Shouldn’t sleep with that.”
You could feel your tears building up. Smiling at the care he showed you. “You’re an angel Bucky Barnes.” You murmured as you wrapped your arms around his big torso, kissing his chest.
“I’m just trying to be worthy of the hottest, nicest person I’ve ever met.” He admitted, kissing your temple. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow would be a long day.”
“Ugh!” You turned around in the bed. The light going right through your eyes, because you both forgot to close them.
Your arm reached out where your boyfriend was supposed to be, but instead you found lukewarm sheets. You huffed when you raised your head, smiling at the scent of toasted bread reaching at your room.
You lazily got out from bed, smiling at the familiar ache between your legs and the light breeze coming from not wearing any underwear. You made it to your kitchen, smiling at the sight of your boyfriend cooking, not wearing any t-shirt but just his boxers. You loved that sight.
You wrapped your arms around his naked torso, placing a kiss on his shoulder. “mornin’” You mumbled to his skin, feeling his body shake with his chuckle.
“How are you?” He asked, his voice had a little bit worry.
“A bit tired. Not the end of the world, yet.”
He smiled at your answer, turning around your arms and kissing your cheek. “‘m glad. Why don’t you get to the table, I’m almost finished here.”
You nodded, hearing your phone buzz. You switched your direction and headed towards the noise. “Bucky, have you seen my phone?”
“Nope! Could be in your purse though.” You nodded, checking the coat rack where your purse was hung. When you reached to check your phone you noticed it was Sam calling you.
“Hey! What’s up?” You murmured.
“Hey dollface! Just wanted to check up on you, Bucky didn’t answer my texts.”
“Oh he’s in the kitchen making breakfast.”
“Oh! Really so it’s like you said yes, I’ve told him there was nothing to worry about—“
“Hey baby, who’s calling?” Bucky walked towards you and you mouthed the word Sam. You saw the worry in his face as he walked towards you, but you stopped him by raising your hand in the air. Taking a step back.
“Yes to what? I was really drunk last night, don’t remember anything about him asking me something.”
“It was uhm— if you’d like to come to visit me and Sarah in Louisiana, since it’s been so long from the last time you’ve seen us.”
“Oh, uhm sure, I’ll talk with Sarah and the details. ‘ll see you later.”
“What did he say?”
“He mumbled something about Louisiana. I guess we’re heading there.” You said after putting your phone back in your purse.
“Oh, yeah. Y—You’ve been working a lot, a—and I thought that you deserved a little br—break.” You noticed the small bulge in the pocket if his jacket.
“Nothing.” You frowned again, hand dipping inside the pocket to find a small box.
“B—bucky? What’s this?”
“It’s—“ He walked over you, getting on his one knee, gently taking the box from your hands.
“I know how you feel about marriage, but I wanted you to also know how I feel about us—this relationship. You’ve made it possible for me to see a different side of me I haven’t seen in decades. I want to have you, by my side as long as you have me.”
“Ask me.” You managed to say it without breaking into tears, voice still cracked but he was in no position better.
He chuckled, opening the box to show you the elegant ring with a small emerald that was in the shape of a heart. “Will you marry me, kitten?”
“Yes!” You said as you threw yourself all over him. Connecting your lips with his. “Yes! I’ll of course marry you! Yes!” You said between kisses.
“I wanted to do this in a better setting, not in my boxers and not you only wearing my Henley and panties. I didn’t want to do it in a situation that you’re drunk too but—“ He tried to explain as he put the ring. Kissing your lips.
“ain’t no better time than present right?” He chuckled, tears falling down on his cheeks as he kissed you again.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him a longing messy kiss. You didn’t care that he was sitting under you, only in his boxers. You didn’t care that you didn’t even wear panties during your proposal.
You started grinding on him slowly, as he took of your Henley and threw it across the room. Pulling you down to his lips, kissing you again as you took off his boxers.
You didn’t care your first sex as an engaged couple happened on your cold floor, and it was messy and rushed.
You didn’t care about any of it, as long as you have had him.
And you’ve had him.
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I Don’t Hate You.
Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT (praise kink, multiple orgasms, enemies to lovers, thigh riding, no protection, d in v), language, angst. 18+
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“Fuck you Chris!” I yell across the set.
“Ya’know what? Fuck you too!” Chris spits back.
All he had to do was focus on the script. Now we’re both being scolded by the director and we’re both being forced to rehearse our lines for the 40th time.
I grab my pencil out from behind my ear and flip it in my hand.
“Oh, you gonna hit me with that?” he taunts.
“Only if you keep speaking to me in that tone” I reply.
“Well then…” he brings his arms up. “Gimme your best shot”.
I get up from my seat and throw the pencil towards him. It hits him in his head and he gives me a look of offence.
“Bitch.” He speaks while putting his hand to his temple.
“Real mature Evans” I mutter.
“And you throwing a pencil at me was mature?” he chuckles in shock.
“Yeah well next time make sure you memorize your lines before showing up to film.” I say sarcastically. “I’m so done with your shit-”
“Oh you’re done with my shit?” He interrupts. “I have to work with you every single day and you make this job a living hell”.
That’s enough to make my temper rise. I grab another pencil off of the table and raise it, ready to throw.
“That’s enough!!” David, our director yells from the other side of the room. “Put it down Y/F/N”.
I don’t budge.
“I said put it down!” his tone is demanding and I know better than to carry this further.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought” Chris smirks and I throw him a glance.
“You two have great potential and fit your roles perfectly. I would deeply regret having to fire you both and sign another pair of actors, so you guys can stay here until you find a way to work together!” David instructs as he starts walking out of the filming room.
“But-” Chris and I speak simultaneously.
“Find a way to work together!” David interrupts as he locks the door behind him, leaving me and Chris alone.
“Oh well this is just great” Chris utters, taking a seat on the directors chair.
“Seriously? There’s one chair and you’re not even going to offer it to me?” I ask.
He shrugs, leans back, and puts his feet on the table. “I just don’t care enough to”.
“Yeah, well it’s called common courtesy Evans”.
“Yeah, well I guess it ain’t that common Y/L/N.” he laughs bringing his hands to the back of his head.
I hop onto the table and shuffle through the actors files.
Where is it? Where is it?
“Ah, Christopher Robert Evans.” I say with a smirk.
The mans expression drops. “Put that down”.
I flip the page.
“High School dropout”.
His tone should scare me but he’s the reason we’re in this mess. He deserves this.
“EVN Film Studios”
“I said stop!” Chris yells walking towards me.
I watch as he towers over me. His nostrils flare and I can feel his hot breath on my lips. He grabs the file out of my hand while maintaining eye contact. Chris then throws it onto the table and walks back to his seat.
“It’s a good schoo- What’s wrong with you?” I ask noticing him squinting.
All he does is stay silent and place his left hand onto his temple.
“Rub it. That’s what my mom used to do whenever I got hurt.” I tell him.
He doesn’t move.
“Are you going to-”
“I don’t need to”.
“You clearly do. I mean, it was a wooden pencil. You cant tell me that it didn’t hurt.” I speak, getting a blank stare as a response.
I hop off of the table and start walking towards him. “Fine”.
“What’re you doing Y/L/N?” Chris asks confused.
“Well if you’re not gonna do it…”. I speak mostly to myself.
I try to find a way to easily rub his temple but Chris being in a chair shifts our heights. He pats his thigh and I sit on it with both my legs on either side.
He slightly bounces his leg and places both his hands onto my waist and I can feel myself becoming wet. A hundred dirty thoughts run through my head but I throw them aside.
Rolling my eyes, I gently press my thumb to the side of his head. He squints, and hisses through his teeth in pain when I move closer to where he’s hurt.
“Shhh, I know, I know.” I grab his face instinctively for comfort.
After I finish the massage I move his hair out of his face.
“There.” I say, trying to get up as fast as I can but his hands ground me.
He tightens his grip around my waist, so much so that his knuckles start to turn pale.
“Chris? Two minutes ago it was Evans darlin.” he interrupts, his electric blue eyes focused on my Y/E/C ones.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“I have to go.” I say breaking eye contact.
“Don’t fight it.” he says, still staring.
“What’re you talking about?” I chuckle.
I know damn well what he’s talking about.
“Come’n Y/F/N. I know how bad you want me” he smirks. “I can see how bad you want me”.
My eyes widen as i’m taken aback. “Chris we’re just friends if even th-”.
The man leans down to my ear. “Say the word friend one more time and I’ll fuck it out of your vocabulary.” he whispers.
I stare him in his eyes and a sudden boost of confidence awakens.
“You’ve been thinking about me, huh?” I chuckle, placing my hands onto his chest.
“Only when I need to come.” he replies.
That’s all it takes for my lips to smash into his. Chris swirls his tongue in my mouth and bites my bottom lip. We fight for dominance but I give in knowing that he won’t.
I moan into his mouth and he starts moving my hips. The friction of his jeans feel unbearably good on my cunt and I start to move my hips faster as Chris tangles his hands into my hair.
“Fuck Chris. Right there!”
“That’s it sweetheart, make yourself feel good.” he speaks on my lips.
I throw my head back in pleasure and he trails his sloppy kisses to my neck. I feel the knot grow tighter in my core and know i’m close.
“Chris fuck i’m so close” I moan, my hands grabbing the back of his hair.
“I know you are darlin, come for me. Make a mess all over me”.
That’s all it takes for my to release onto him. My wetness pools on his black jeans creating a dark spot.
“That what you needed?” Chris questions.
I nod in answer, too exhausted to speak.
“Oh I'm not done with you just yet Y/L/N”.
He hoists me onto the table and runs his eyes over my body.
“Won’t be need’n this…” Chris mutters ripping off my tank top. “…Or this.” he finishes, pulling my pants down my waist.
He then pulls his pants down along with his boxers. His cock springs out once free, tip covered in a white liquid. He spreads his pre-cum onto the rest of his dick and lines himself up with my entrance.
Chris moves the tip of his cock up and down my slick and looks up at me, waiting for an answer.
“Chris…” I speak out of breath.
I nod my head over and over again, desperate to feel him inside of me.
“Words,Y/F/N. I need words”.
“I need you, Chris” I say with a pout.
That’s all he needs to push into me with full force. My velvet walls flutter contacting with Chris’ vein.
“Oh my- fuck yes!” My moans are music to his ears.
“So. Fucking. Perfect huh?” Chris mutters into my ears, thrusting with each word.
All I do is bite my bottom lip and nod, agreeing.
He grabs ahold of the edge of the table behind me and the cheap wood cracks with the pressure of his fist, but he doesn’t stop and God I don’t want him to. He keeps rocking his hips into mines over and over and over again.
I can feel Chris’ hands dig deeper into my hips. He moves his right one to my mouth and rubs a finger on my lips. He then trails his hand down to my right boob and starts playing with my nipple. He twists, turns, and squeezes the bud, and I throw my head back in pleasure.
“Yes Chris! Right there!”. I moan his name like a prayer.
Chris then moves his left hand lower and brings it to my cunt. Every circle that his thumb makes sends electric like currents through my body and I shut my eyes tight.
“Don’t you dare look away. Keep your eyes on me darlin’.” Chris groans on my lips.
I open my eyes again and kiss him back.
“That’s it sweetheart. You’re doin so well for me”. His dirty talk brings me closer to my edge.
I feel his cock spasm inside of me and that’s all I need to reach my climax. I let go onto him screaming his name, and he follows behind me.
Chris’ body falls onto mines, but he catches himself with his forearms. He pulls himself out of me and tugs his pants up.
“Guess we just found a way to work together.” he chuckles, watching a mixture of our juices run down my leg.
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Y/n: Baby, are you okay? You seem a bit off today.
Bucky: It's just a bad day, doll. I'm tormented by memories. That's all.
Y/n: Mmh, do you want to talk about it?
Bucky: Not really.
Y/n: Totally okay, I respect that.
Bucky: Thank you.
Y/n: What about some food? Are you hungry?
Bucky: No, doll.
Y/n: *slowly caressing his cheek* What about cuddles?
Bucky: That sounds great. *pulling you on his lap and hugging you*
Y/n: I'm sorry, I wish I could do something to help you. *caressing the back of his head*
Bucky: You already are, doll. *looking at you with a tiny smile*
Y/n: Woah, was that a smile, Sargent Barnes?
Bucky: Maybe. *smiling again while pressing his lips on yours*
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I have had a few bucky x read fic ideas bouncing around in my head and i cant write! So here is one,
Sam find a person who stairs and doesnt talk a whole lot because they uses ✨telepathy ✨. So Sam think they would be a good fit for Bucky, but he doesn’t know they have that power he just thinks they are mute. Then there is a thing where the reader is telling Buck how it works and they if they have something to connect them together like an object *reader motions to dog tags* they can have an unbreakable mind link. Then they fall in love or something. This is dumb, thank you for coming to my TedTalk
Hey! Thank you so much for this request, it wasn't dumb at all. I really enjoyed writing this. I may have gotten a bit carried away, this may sit close to 4000 words but we vibe. I hope this is what you had in mind! Please enjoy! <3
Click here for my masterlist of other fics and check in my bio for requests if anyone wishes to ask!
Bucky had been enjoying a moments peace, he loved working with Sam but sometimes all he wanted was to put his feet up, put on some vinyl and enjoy a good cup of coffee all while reading a brilliant book. He had been trying to get into Game of Thrones lately, on Sam’s insistence, and he had been enjoying it. With the crackles of Glenn Miller from the turntable he missed the clunky footsteps coming up the stairs.
The sight that greeted Sam needed to be photographed. Bucky was lounging back on his ‘old man armchair’ feet up, hair in a towel, in a bathrobe, coffee in hand and facemask on, this was definitely one for the family album.
At the sound of the phone shutter Bucky practically launched himself out of the chair.
“Oh, you are never gonna live this one down old boy, it’s going to haunt you.” Sam almost cackled evilly as he began to email the photo to himself- he had learnt the hard way that Bucky was very proficient at breaking phones.
“You better not upload that photo anywhere, Wilson, I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Pfft, reputation, that’s funny.”
Bucky scoffed as he stood up, placing his book carefully on the side table, “Big scary super soldier, people hardly run-in fear from a guy in a bathrobe.”
“I disagree, a man in a bathrobe is definitely something you should run from. AH NOPE!” Sam jumped backwards, on top of a nearby chair, as Bucky lunged for the phone, towel turban falling off in the process. “You are not breaking this phone as well.”
“Fine. But you gotta promise not to post that anywhere.” Bucky huffed.
“As long as- “
“Oh no, I’m not doing anything for you.”
“Think of it as payment for the last phone you broke and insurance for this picture.”
There was silence for a moment as the two friends eyed each other up. Sam raised his eyebrows, Bucky’s eyes narrowed. It was a Mexican standoff between a guy in a bathrobe and a precariously balanced man. A clock ticked.
“Fine.” Bucky conceded. “What do you want?”
“For you to come to a meeting.”
“The families of Veterans ones?”
“Yeah.” Sam slowly started climbing down from the chair. “And before you get your old man pants in a twist, I’m not trying to force you to talk or anything, kinda.”
“Kinda?” Suspicion laced through Bucky’s voice.
“You know sign language, right?”
“American? I think?”
“Yeah, I know ASL, might be a bit rusty but I’m sure it still holds up. Why do you ask?”
Sam shifted slightly on his feet, “There’s this person, they come in every week and listen. I tried to talk to them, but they communicate through sign language, and I don’t have anyone there to talk with them.” He cast his eyes to the floor, “I feel bad. They were brave enough to come to the group only to basically be ignored ‘because we didn’t plan well enough.”
Bucky smiled, face mask crinkling around his smile lines, “You could have just asked me to Sam. You didn’t have to blackmail me into this, of course I’ll help. When’s the next meeting?”
“This evening. You gonna be ready or do you need some more ‘me’ time.”
Bucky simply chuckled at Sam’s teasing tone, patted his shoulder making sure to squeeze just a bit too hard before retreating to his room.
“I’ll be there, Wilson, and I will look so much younger than you!”
It was frustrating to you, going along to these meetings and not being able to communicate. You could always speak into someone’s mind but all that usually accomplished was a very paranoid person. But just listening to other’s stories really helped the grief from losing someone so close to you. You related to most of the people there and even though they didn’t understand you a lot of the time, you were always made to feel welcome- with friendly pats on the back and the odd tissue thrown your way.
You bustled into the familiar building with a new sense of excitement as Sam had promised to bring a translator for you this week. It was finally time to say your thanks to some of the people there and finally let the group know about your brother, so that it wasn’t only you that remembered him.
You all but ran through the hallways until you caught sight of a familiar smiling man. Sam was facing you, talking animatedly to another man, the strangers back was to you. He was tall, broad shouldered and dressed in a vintage looking leather jacket and rather well fitted trousers. Now the debate was: does the tailoring make the ass, or does the ass make the tailoring. You were halfway through the arguments on either side when Sam shouting your name disrupted the intense debating in your mind. You blushed at being caught, then blushed some more when you caught sight of the stranger’s face. Twinkling blue eyes under a deep-set brow should have made him intimidating, but he was smiling, and his face was dazzling. There was an immediate fluttering in your stomach.
“Hey, I’m Bucky.” Dear lord even his voice was nice, what made you smile even more was the fact that he signed as he spoke. Well, Sam certainly knew how to pick them well. “Sam introduced me; said you wanted an interpreter.”
You nodded as you signed back, “Nice to meet you, thank you for helping out.”
“No problem, Sam has told me a bit about you.”
“Good things I hope.”
“Okay I recognise my own name, you two better not be conspiring against me.” Sam piped up, to be honest you had forgotten about him for a moment.
Bucky laughed, and it sent a little thrill down you, he really was adorable.
“No worries, Wilson, just letting them know all your dirty little secrets.”
“Right, you two get in there, before you make me sleep with one eye open.”
You and Bucky caught each other’s eye, his eyes were twinkling with mischief, and you couldn’t help the smile that overtook you. You had a feeling that the two of you would get on just fine.
The meeting passed easily. Bucky translated your signs and you finally felt like you could actually take part in these meetings. Everyone listened intently when you spoke of your brother and when you had thanked the whole group for being so open to you a couple of people shed a tear. By the end of the meeting though you were tired and very accepting of Bucky’s offer to walk you home.
It was a lot of side glances and hidden smiles and you walked side by side. Drawn to each other under the moonlit sky, it was nice to just be in the presence of someone who had such a kind aura. You spent the walk trying to work up the confidence to sign something, anything but nothing came to mind and Bucky seemed quite content to just walk in comfortable silence.
You soon reached your home, you turned to Bucky with a smile on your face and signed,
“Thanks for today, Bucky. You were really helpful.”
“No problem.” He signed back,
You hesitated slightly before signing, “Would you be happy to have a coffee with me, tomorrow?”
Bucky went a little red in the face, and chuckled, “I would love to, I know a nice place, real cosy. I’ll text you the details.”
“You know how to text?”
“Hey! I get enough stick from Sam, don’t need you getting on my case too. I’ll have you know that I am very adaptable.”
“Sure, Sure.” You smiled at his flustered tone. “I’ll wait for your text then, have a good evening.”
The two of you stared slightly awkwardly at each other, neither wanting to be the first to turn around. You shuffled your feet away slowing, smiling awkwardly once more at Bucky before turning. You heard his footsteps start to fade away as you walked towards your home. You were but three steps to the door when a large figure in a hoodie slammed into you, you raised your arms instinctively to block them when you noticed your shoulder was lighter. The bastard had stolen your bag.
You immediately took chase, chasing around the corner you just walked down but they were fast, faster then you at least. As you rounded the corner you caught sight of Bucky walking ahead. The thief wouldn’t stand a change against him. Without a second thought you cast your thoughts towards Bucky,
“Bucky! Thief! My Bag! Behind you!”
You saw Bucky flinch slightly then turn bewildered, his eyes widening when he saw you hurting towards him, chasing the hooded figure. He caught on and launched after the thief as well, with barely any effort he knocked the thief to the ground, grabbed your bag and whipped out his phone to call the cops.
Well, that was hot.
You took your bag back, immediately checking that you brother’s lucky coin was in the zippy pocket, to your relief it was still there. You looked up to see Bucky staring at you with a very puzzled look on his face. You sighed before casting your thoughts to his head once more,
“I’ll explain later.”
Bucky let out a strange, decompressed noise of shock, it made you giggle. The two of you waited in silence until the police came and took the thief away. The police car had barely driven away when he turned to you.
“Did you just, talk in my head? Or did my conscious just suddenly get really loud.”
“I did. Hi. Sorry about that.”
He waved his hands dismissively. “Believe it or not, not the weirdest thing I’ve encountered.”
“Well, that’s reassuring.”
There was an awkward silence.
“So,” You started, resorting back to sign language, it felt less invasive, “Still down for coffee?”
Bucky smiled, “One hundred percent. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Bye Bucky. Thanks for getting my bag back.”
“No problem, see ya.”
The coffee shop that Bucky invited you to, was tucked away, it was the kind of place that you would stumble over on accident. With a simple door and a big window out the front, that lead soft orange light filter out onto the alley. There was the faint sound of jazz leaking out of the building, you smirked. It was such an old fashioned place, of course this was where Bucky frequented.
The bell tinkled slightly as you entered the café, where you were greeted with the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods. You caught sight of Bucky’s broad shoulders sitting in the corner, and you made your way over to him, smiling at the barista as you passed.
As if sensing you, Bucky turned to smile and wave. He was dressed in casual clothes like last time, but this time his hair was loose around his shoulders. You smiled back before settling into the seat opposite him.
His hands moved hesitantly as he signed, “What would you like? I can recommend their hot chocolate, its very warming/”
“Hot chocolate it is.”
You could tell he wanted to ask you a million questions but to his credit he walked slowly to get the drinks, he even took his time carefully carrying the tray of drinks back to your table. He placed a delicious looking hot chocolate in front of you. You watched as he took a sip.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1-
“So,” Here we go, “What is it you can do, you can speak in peoples’ heads, can you,” He lowered his voice and leaned in, “Can you read people’s minds?”
You giggled slightly, his eyes were basically sparkling, he was definitely nerding out about this.
You set the hot chocolate down before casting your thoughts to his head, “I can speak in peoples heads relatively easily, it’s how I talk most of the time to people I know. I guess you could call it Telepathy.”
Bucky’s eyes were as wide as saucers, “So you can’t read thoughts, only… speak them?”
“I like to call it casting, makes me feel like a sorcerer. I can read thoughts, but it takes a lot of energy. I used to be able to talk with my brother from across the house. That usually requires some kind of connection.”
“Oh, so like a blood or family connection? Do you have to know the person very well?”
“That certainly helps but it’s not always necessary. If I have a personal object that belongs to that person, something I can hold and connect to them it isn’t hard to make a two-way connection. Especially if that person is willing to open their mind.”
Bucky seemed to be caught in thought for a second. “So, if I were to give you something of mine, we could both talk in our… heads?”
“Well yes, but Bucky we have only just met. Letting me into your head is a lot. I try not to pry but sometimes I’ve found that thoughts just burst through. Let’s get to know each other a before that happens.”
Bucky smiled at you before speaking and signing, “You’re right. Let’s get to know one another. I find you fascinating.”
It happened on the fifth date. Bucky was just walking you home after a lovely dinner at a small Italian that he claimed he went to back in the 40s. Just outside your door, under the glow of a lamppost he turned to you and took a deep breath before speaking.
“I know this may be a lot, but I wanted to give you these.” He reached around his neck and pulled off something silver. You gasped slightly as he held out his dog tags, immaculately preserved after all these years.
“Are you sure, Bucky? This is a lot.”
“I know and if you aren’t comfortable with it then just let me know but I want to give them to you.”
“You know what this means Bucky?”
“Yeah, I know, I just figured that you’re already in my head all the time anyways, just can’t seem to get you out of it.”
“You cheeseball.” You smirked at him before taking the dog tags and placing them around your neck. You gripped the cold metal for a moment, concentrating on the man in front of you. Taking everything, you knew about him and stretching out a connection, like a hand reaching out to clasp another.
“Testing, Testing, Testing, one two, one two, can my Telepathic partner hear me?”
You laughed, “Yes I can Bucky, you big dork.”
Bucky whooped out loud before sweeping you up in a big hug. The two of you laughing under the lamp light. His joy was infectious, and you couldn’t fight the smile off your face.
“Oh, we are going to have so much fun messing with Sam.”
Of course, the two of you made a pact not to tell Sam until he worked it out, which wouldn’t be anytime soon according to Bucky. It led to some very memorable moments and Sam refusing to play any form of card or board game with either of you because you always managed to win, somehow. Not to mention all the times you had spoken in eery unison around him.
“I swear, its like you two can read each other’s minds sometimes.” Sam threw his hands up in frustration at another lost game of charades.
You smirked at Bucky across the room, “Should you tell him, or shall I?”
“I think he’s been through enough, I got it.”
Bucky cleared his throat, “We can.”
Sam whipped around to face Bucky, a look of sheer disbelief on his face, “Seriously Bucky-boy, if you think I believe that after all-
“Hello Sam.” You cast your thoughts to him, in the creepiest old lady voice you could muster.
Sam yelped, before turning accusingly at you, “You better be joking around with me right now, I am not dealing with any kind of ghosts in this house.”
“Sorry! Surprise I’m telepathic!”
Sam put his head in his hands and sighed, “Not the weirdest thing ever. Wait, does this mean you have been cheating this entire time.”
You both looked guiltily at one another.
“You owe me. That poker night, void.”
You both laughed, “We’ll have a fair rematch this time Sam.”
It had been close to a year since you had made it official with Bucky and you were now much more comfortable around one another. He no longer just dropped you off at the lamppost but cam inside with you. You had spent many lovely mornings together sharing glances over steaming cups of coffee. Fighting each other for who got to spread their legs out on the couch, there wasn’t really a loser though as it usually ended up in sofa cuddles for both of you, while watching a film.
Life was pretty great, you thought, as you smiled down at the sleeping Bucky beside you. Finally reaching over to turn off the lamp and put your book down, you were finally reading the hobbit at Bucky’s insistence. As you clicked off the light beside you and settled down you noticed the faster than usual breathing coming from beside you.
You reached out, thinking he was awake but instead as you opened up your connection you caught flashes of night terrors. You were falling indefinitely, snow all around you, and in the distance, there were cries of pain, people pleading for their lives, there was gunfire and explosions. You gasped and took off the dog tags. You only gave yourself a moment to breathe before trying to shake Bucky awake. When it became clear that he wasn’t stirring you steadied yourself and settled your hands on his temples. You didn’t care you tired this would make you, you just wanted Bucky to stop suffering. You focused, offering out that hand of connection again, this time picturing it in the shape of a fist and, although it wasn’t subtle, you tried to shake Bucky’s brain awake. You forced your way into his dreams, punching through the dark fog that clouded his thoughts and almost screamed at him.
“Bucky! Bucky wake up! You’re dreaming my dear!”
Bucky woke up with a start. Tears flowing down his face, he stared at you blue eyes shining. No one spoke as he pulled you into his arms. You just breathed together for a moment, counting the breaths and the spaces in between. When he finally pulled back, you saw his eyes flicker with concern before lifting a hand to gently wipe under your nose, it came back red with blood.
You smiled sadly, reaching out to put the dog tags back on.
“I should be asking you that.”
“But you’re bleeding.”
“Occupational hazard.” You tried to subtly get rid of any of the extra blood. “That was pretty intense. Wanna talk?”
Bucky looked down to the sheets and shook his head. You smiled at him, tilting his head to yours.
“That’s fine, want me to go? Or would you like to cuddle for a bit?”
Bucky didn’t talk again, just pulled you gently down to the bed once more. Snuggling himself under your chin, resting his head on your chest. You felt his arms draw tightly against your waist. You pressed your lips into his hair.
“May I help you go to sleep? Keep the bad thoughts at bay for at least one night.”
You felt Bucky nod and let out a little sleepy hum of agreement. You closed your eyes, focused on your connection setting up a golden wall against the dark fog at the corners of his mind and settled into a deep sleep.
You woke to the smell of fresh coffee and the clinking of cups.
“Morning.” You opened your eyes at Bucky’s voice and took the offered cup greedily. Your mind still felt hazy from the energy you used last night.
You felt the bed dip beside you as Bucky sat and sipped at his cup as well, hair a bit of a mess from bed. He had evidently only just woken up as well.
He took a breath, “I had some pretty interesting dreams, sweetheart.”
You stiffened, “Good ones I hope.”
“Don’t worry, they were good. If a little strange.”
“I was watching myself most of the time.”
You snorted into the coffee, “Sounds creepy”
There was a slight chuckle, “Nah, I was watching myself build a home, a family- “
“Oh God Bucky.” You snapped your eyes to his, you knew what had happened. “I am so sorry my dreams must have stuck in your head.”
“Those were your dreams?”
“Yeah, its only happened once before but when the connection between two people is very strong, it can happen- I call it bleeding. Perhaps we should- “
“If the next words out of your mouth are take a break, I will spill your coffee.” You clutched your cup closer to your chest, “Truthfully, those were some of the beset dreams I have every had. I really loved them.”
You looked back up at him, hesitantly “You did?”
“And I love you.”
There was silence as you stared at him in shock. His face as nothing but adoration as the sunlight filtered over his face.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too.”
Coffee cups were cast aside as you both collided. Giggling and joking, radiating happiness as the two of you shared the sweetest kiss. Your feelings merging together, amplifying one another until they shone brighter than the sun.
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summary: after years of trying, you eventually realize that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, especially not at the expense of your own happiness.
warnings: mentions of drinking, heartbreak, honestly just a lot of angst.
a/n: omg, uh hi! i know it’s been like forever.. i’m doing very well and i hope you all are too, enjoy! - based on the song ‘happier than ever’ by billie eilish
word count: 1.1k
you knew getting involved with the renounced winter soldier could end up breaking you.. but you did it anyway. because you loved james buchanan barnes with your entire being.
it wasn’t all bad at first. in fact, you were both in a good place. after a year into the relationship, bucky moved into your apartment. you had a great relationship with the avengers and would often go to the avengers tower for movie nights or parties. sometimes, when bucky would leave for missions, your heart sank. with no idea of whether or not he would come back alive, or if he was wounded terribly. the worst of your relationship began when he started having those nightmares. those damned nightmares. you would always make sure you were there for him when he woke up in a sweat, some nights even crying. you would wish you could make hydra pay for what they did. you still do. for awhile, this was your routine. then something changed.
maybe it was when you noticed how he rarely returned your affections, only settling for a peck on your forehead. maybe it was when you noticed how he could barely look at you, or when he started coming home from the bar late at night, drinking away his pain. or maybe, just maybe, it was when you looked in the mirror and saw a person you no longer recognized. you saw tiredness, exhaustion. all in the name of trying to help your boyfriend, which it was starting to seem like he didn’t want your help. no matter your efforts, he still pushed you to the side.
still, you wanted a chance to save your relationship. so when you told bucky to meet you for dinner, you hoped he would come. you hoped, wished, and prayed. you walked in, and sat at your reserved table. and waited. after 30 minutes and three calls sent to voicemail, you told the hostess sorry and left briskly, trying to hold in your tears. you called steve, ranting to him about everything, hoping he could talk some sense into bucky so you wouldn’t have to. you didn’t want to fight, and so you saw this was the best method.
shortly after you return home, bucky makes his way through the door. he spots you sitting in a chair, eyes distant. somewhere in space. “y/n..” he says, no trace of warmth in his voice. you wait a minute, before responding. “what the hell is happening to us, buck? when did this all happen?” you ask, so quietly that you barely hear it. he walks over to you, brows furrowed in confusion. “y/n, steve told me what you said. why didn’t you come to me?” you stared at him blankly, before standing up and putting distance between you both. “because you only listen to your fucking friends!” you snap, surprising both yourself and the man standing in front of you.
he looks at you with shock, but doesn’t say anything. you take this as a cue to continue. “i just, i have spent so much time trying to help you, help you get away from your past, but how can i do that when you won’t even help yourself!” your voice gradually gets louder, emphasizing your words with your hands. “now you know that isnt fa-” you cut him off. “don’t say it isn’t fair! you clearly aren’t aware that you’ve made me miserable..”
bucky took a look at you. it felt like it was the first time he’s actually seen you in months. he took everything in, the disheveled hair, your tired eyes, the sad look on your face. all of it made his heart drop.
james buchanan barnes never stopped loving you. but he felt so bad about the effort that you put in trying to save someone like him, that he chose to push you away instead. you deserved better, so much better. he distanced himself in every way he could. asked for more missions, went out constantly, anything he could think of. so, in this moment, he decided to lie.
bucky looks you straight in the eyes, “if you really wanna know, when i’m away from you… i’m happier than ever” he says. this is what broke you. what shattered you. you never thought you’d hear those words come out of his mouth. but you did. and at the same time, you realized that you couldn’t do this anymore. you were done. “i always said you were misunderstood, james. but i’m glad you’ve found happiness elsewhere.” you gave him a sad smile, before going to your room and packing a small bag. you picked up your phone, hands shaking, as you dialed in a number. as you were leaving your apartment, you told him “i’ll be at wanda’s for a few days, please be gone by then.” the second you shut the door, the tears came falling down.
⸻ eight months later ⸻
you left james buchanan barnes 8 months ago. and no, you are not completely over him. but you are doing so much better. your apartment has no traces of him. you can no longer smell the linger of his shampoo, or his cologne that you used to love. the pictures that you had up of all of your great times together are now replaced by you and your friends. you got a well paying job, and even adopted a kitten. your life completely turned itself around.
you still see him from time to time, only sharing glances. you keep up with the avengers, still wanting to be there for them. but you’ve learned to prioritize yourself, and of course, your friends helped you heal. when tony invited you to one of his parties, you were delighted to attend. you missed this, being able to socialize without the weight of another persons pain on your shoulders. you felt.. free.
then you ran into him. you held no grudge against him— well, you did. but it was slowly fading, because time has helped heal your wounds. and all you could do was hope time would heal his. bucky clears his throat, before pulling you into a warm hug. “y/n, it’s nice to see you.” he gives an awkward smile. you take all of him in, you notice a sad look in his eyes. you think about asking, before pulling yourself back and reminding you it’s not your place anymore. “hi buck. the feeling is mutual!” you return the smile, beaming. when bucky sees how happy you are, he can’t help but feel like he made the right decision. “how have you been lately?” he asks.
“honestly? i’ve been happier than ever.”
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ooh ohh!! may you please write a blurb about Plum being a complete mommy's girl and Bucky loving Reader and Plum's connection, but also wishing he had that with Plum!! can be slightly angsty but mostly fluff plz 🥺
AWH I ALWAYS IMAGINED PLUM BEING A DADDY’S GIRL 🥺 Plum is aged up a bit in this
“I don’t think she likes me very much,” Bucky sulked silently. He was watching you rock her back and forth in her arms as she slept.
“What would make you say that?” You frown at his words, “You’re her dad. She adores you, Buck,”
“But she doesn’t let me hold her when she cries, she doesn’t want me to help her when she’s sick. Only you, she won’t let me read her her favorite story. What’s wrong with me?”
“Baby,” you move Plum into his arms and she murmurs softly in her sleep, cuddling right into him “There are just some things mama does better. Ever notice notice how she doesn’t let me cut her pancakes? Or let me brush her teeth? She only likes it when you’re the one singing and dancing with her to her favorite kidz bop cd,”
“I don’t know… I just expected her to be a papa’s girl,” Bucky kisses the forehead of his gorgeous daughter, “I just don’t like it when she cries because of me,”
“She’s a mama and papa’s girl, Buck,” you run your hand over his head, “She cries because she’s an emotional character but we both handle it well. She loves you no matter what,”
Bucky wanted to believe your words but he’s seen how Plum is with you and he just feels it’s not like that with him. He’s glad you and her are the way that you two are, he just feels like he’s missing out sometimes.
“I feel like I’m a terrible dad somehow,” he huffed, not wanting tears to come to his eyes. Bucky always wanted to make sure he was the best dad he could be and he wasn’t feeling that, “I’ll be better. I just gotta find out what I’m doing wrong”
He was truly convinced something was wrong with his parenting, when he doesn’t realize your daughter adores him to the ends of the universe and back.
“She’s another you,” Bucky stared down at Plum and adores the way her brown cheeks shine and the way her mouth slightly hangs open as she sleeps, “I want to be the best dad I can for her. M-maybe she doesn’t have a strong connection with me because I-I don’t look like her,”
“Oh please,” you whisper yell and slap his shoulder, “You think she cares about that? She doesn’t know either. She knows you’re her dad! And nothing is gonna change that. I just happened to be the one carrying her for a good nine months so the connection is internal. My body created housed a soul. Connections are always different between parents,”
You miss his cheeks and you can tell your words mean something to him and helps relieve his stress for a minute.
“Doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. Doesn’t mean she’s not a papa’s girl. She’s our baby Bucky she’s gonna act different for each of us. That’s just the facts,”
“You’re right,” he kissed Plum’s head one more time and looks at you. He’s so blessed to have you two.
“But watch, I’m gonna win her heart fully and she’s gonna be team dad!,”
“One thing you need to realize is you already won her heart, baby”
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Barnes' miscommunication | Bucky Barnes x Avenger!reader
Summary: Bucky was an idiot, and he tend to push away things he loved, and that included you. When he hurt you, he didn’t realise his apology would be too late. He didn’t know about your past with hydra, which made the situation, worse.
W/c: 5.2k (holy shit that's alot)
Warning(s): ANGST, weapons, harm (not on you), reader abilities, hydra, swearing!
A/N: A lot to write, I couldn’t find a good way to summarise this fic… you’ll just have to read it. There are -- read more-breaks for the story because it is so long.
Any likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! Enjoy <33
You were never one to talk; even before you were kidnapped by Hydra, you still didn't really speak. You were quiet and reserved; being an ex-hydra assassin just solidified your personality. There was a lot to know about you, but you never really shared anything about yourself when it came to it. Everyone knew you as Y/n Stark, 'the daughter of Tony and Pepper Stark' and the girl kidnapped when she was five, found by the avengers later in life.
You worked through a lot of things. The therapy Tony and Pepper signed you into helped with the nightmares, but that was about it. But even still, you weren't entirely there; if people didn't know you, your first impression was always coming off as rude and inconsiderate. And you supposed that after all your years working for Hydra, you probably were. You were very much closed off until you met Bucky Barnes.
Bucky Barnes, an ex-hydra assassin, was welcomed into the team just over a year and a half ago. Your dad agreed to the idea because he thought it might be nice for you to have someone else. One who had something in common with you other than, both Natasha and Wanda.
Meeting Bucky was all to be expected; you both got along well, but never once had you shared something about your personal life. You were closed off, and although you and Bucky were civil. He, too, was the same. It was like two peas in a pod.
Over time, it became a love-hate relationship; you'd try your best to be on good terms with Bucky, but over time it felt like he had something against you. You and Bucky were at constant war with each other, and you didn't know what you did for him to hate you so much, or so you thought. You thought that maybe if you tried to tell him that you were an ex-hydra yourself, that may be the pair of you could bond a bit more. But your attempts to do so turned out in failure.
A simple smile would turn into Bucky turning his head away. A good morning, Bucky would walk away. There were definitely good days where he would talk to you, but it wouldn't last long. You guys just didn't really click anymore, and it had been over a year and a half since he had arrived.
Then, not too long ago, Bucky started playing pranks around the compound with Sam. It was their thing. One day when you were about to go on a mission with Nat and Steve, Bucky had accidentally hidden all of your mission weapons, thinking they were Nat's. So you, too, joined in on the fun; two could play at that game, Ex-hydra assassin vs Ex-hydra assassin.
Slowly, you began pranking him back, shaving cream in his boots, salt in his tea or replacing his daggers with dummy knives, just to name a few.
Bucky knew it was you, and he was finding this game pretty fun. There was never a malicious intent behind the minor pranks the both of you played on each other. This quickly became your thing with him and was the reason you two became close again. Spending more time together than usual, you'd spend nights watching films with him, playing board games or even chatting until the earlier hours of the morning. He'd find it weird that you'd be the only one up sometimes, but he never questions it.
It was odd; you were slowly but surely falling in love with Bucky Barnes. You didn't know why or how it happened, but that love for him was there. He made you feel something you had been missing for most of your life.
Bucky, too developed a love for you. He, too, didn't know where it began or how it happened, but he knew that after all his years of not having anyone, he wanted you. Now I suppose when you put two and two together, it's not hard to know that you and Bucky had a thing for each other; the whole team knew it. Your dad knew it too. However, it never went anywhere; You were just as awkward as each other.
Leading to a few nights ago.
There were three hydra missions scheduled in the week; you and Bucky had been assigned to one of the three. When he came back from his mission that day, he was drained and distraught. You went to welcome him home, but he walked right past you and up to his room.
Steve said something about Bucky seeing where they had tortured him for decades, the memories had got to him, and you understood. Steve thought you might be the best to comfort him, but Bucky still had no idea that you had worked for Hydra before, but you never shy away from the fact that you did. If someone asked, you would tell them. Which still confuses you, the fact that it never came up over the year you've known him. You thought surely someone would say something to him if you hadn't.
The only genuine person who ever understood your pain was Wanda. Both you and she were hydra experiments at the same time. You, her and Pietro. Escaping together because of Ultron, and that's how your dad found you. When Pietro died, it was like you were losing a brother. So you stuck by Wanda; she promised to protect you as you would in return. She was the only one to actually understand what you were going through.
Before the hydra mission, he promised that he'd have dinner with you. Something the pair of you had been doing for quite a while now. So here you were, keeping that promise. You stood outside Bucky's door, softly knocking. You had his dinner that you made in your hand, waiting for him to answer. When Bucky didn't answer, you carefully opened the door just a tiny bit to see him sitting at the end of his bed, gripping the sheets tight in his hand.
His little run-in at the Hydra base triggered something in him. It got under his skin, and he was furious. But you knew that; you sensed it as soon as you walked in the door, and little did he know, you could see what had happened. A soft frown appeared on your face as you walked closer, sitting just a bit away from him at the edge of his bed. "Buck? I made dinner," You called; he didn't answer, just sat there breathing heavily.
"Y/n go away," he warned.
Head tilted, you weren't having any of it. Out of anyone besides Wanda, you knew just how bad Hydra could get, and you didn't want him to be alone. "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere, you promised me dinner, and I made it especially for you." You softly spoke, taking a seat next to him.
He turned to you, looking you up and down. Laying a supporting hand on his back, you leaned down a bit to see his face. "You need someone; Steve told me what happened, and he thought I may be the best to--" you couldn't even finish your sentence before he snapped.
"Best to what, y/n? Understand me? NON of you understand me…" he growled. Sitting back a bit, you were stunned; you didn't know where this was coming from. "Bucky… I do understand. I've been trying to tell you for so long that I was-"
"NO y/n, you don't understand anything, you don't understand me, nobody does!" He yelled at you. You weren't scared; you were sad. You had never done anything for him to be this way to you, yet, here he was.
It hurt you to see him like this. "Bucky, please… I just."
"Get out! GET OUT OF MY ROOM; I hate you." Bucky turned, the words seething through his teeth. Your bottom lip quivered as you stood looking directly at him.
"You don't mean that.."
"I really thought that we were okay… I thought that-"
Bucky stood in front of you, your head looking up at him, "I SAID GET OUT Y/N." he pointed to the door.
A tear shed your face, setting the food down on the bed. You held in your whimpers, "W-well, at least eat. I made it just for you." You almost whispered to him. He watched as you walked away; he didn't realise what he had done. Shutting the door on the way out, you cried back to your quarters. Wanda caught you just in time, that sisterly sense she had when you were down. She sat with you all night while you told her what Bucky had said. You felt so stupid.
In the morning,
Bucky had awoken on his floor; getting up, he noticed the food sitting on his bed. Bucky couldn't remember much last night, only that he came home from the mission, and that was about it. He smiled upon seeing the wrapped food; you had written a note on it. The message you had stuck on it before you walked into his room last night because you thought he may have been in the showers.
"Because I know you like sushi, enjoy! :)"
Slipping on a shirt, Bucky collected the plate of food in his arm with a big smile on his face. Walking out and down the hall to your room, just as he was about to knock on the door. Wanda came storming down from the corridor.
"You son of a bitch!", she yelled slapping Bucky's face. The sushi you made, Bucky slipped from his hands, falling onto the floor in between Wanda and him. His mouth agape, he looked stunned. "If you are looking for Y/n, she's gone on her mission." she huffed out. Wanda gave him a nasty look before walking off. He turned quickly, running off to find Wanda. "Wanda? Wanda-" he stopped when he saw her in the kitchen.
"What do you want, Barnes!"
“I want to understand why you slapped me… What did I do? d-did something happen last night?" he asked. Wanda snapped her head in his direction, "Did you do something? Of course, you did!" She yelled. Bucky came closer to her, "I did? I seriously don't remember." he raised his hands up in defence. "I don't…" he hesitantly repeated.
"Well, this might help you!" Wanda brought her hands up, filling Bucky's mind with the memories of last night. It only took a few seconds for Bucky to fall onto his ass. He was speechless; he put his head into his hands. Wanda kneeled down, "What has she ever done to you?" she questions.
"Nothing Wanda… nothing… I don't even remember anything past coming home." He sighed. "I don't give a shit if you don't remember. Make it up to y/n! She loves you, for God sake, and this is how you treat her!" Wanda ranted mindlessly. "S-she loves me?" Bucky looked up and questioned.
Wanda gave him a shit-eating look, "Of course she loves you; everyone knows this!" She sighed, getting up. His face brightened, "I love her too, Wanda!" He spoke. He hadn't said this to anyone until this very moment, but he did love you. This was the reason; it was his fault for your rocky relationship with him. He was scared to love you, thinking you wouldn't love him in return.
Wanda turned around, shocked, "Then why tell the girl you love that you hated her." Bucky didn't know; he tried so hard to remember, "I got worked up over the mission yesterday, I set myself on auto-pilot. I'll make it up to her, I promise." He got up, trying to think about how to make it up to you.
"Bucky. I'm not in a forgiving mood right now. But just know, she has been through a lot, and you're the only one in this building which still doesn't know that. The best thing you can do is listen to her." She spoke before angrily taking her bowl of grapes with her out into the living room where Vision was.
Before the mission,
"Alright, it is a short but stealthy mission. Y/n, Steve, Nat and Clint, you'll be navigating this one." Fury spoke.
"There is intel that there could be valuable information on Hydra hard drives. We need you to extract them and burn any remaining evidence." He spoke again, everyone agreed, looking through the files. Nat had rested a firm hand on yours, "are you sure you're up for this?" She asked. You simply smiled, confirming her question with a nod.
Everyone in the room with you knew your history with Hydra; that's how you became an esteemed Avenger. Telling everyone your story led to you using your skills to help people around the world. It wasn't uncommon for them to occasionally ask if you were okay or wanted to stay behind if it ever came to a hydra mission.
Now hours later, you were on your way back to the compound. Pretty much feeling like shit. You were numb, and there was no energy left in you. Of course, you didn't let your team see it, but you were exhausted. You just wanted to take a nice shower, eat and sleep for days.
The quinjet landed, and everyone was dis-embarking the jet.
Being the last one out, you slowly made your way into the compound. Not wanting to see anyone, you made yourself a tiny portal to your room that you walked through; you couldn't care. You stood in the middle of your room, not knowing what to do with yourself. Sliding slowly against the end of your bed. Still, with your daggers and weapons attached to your mission suit. You curled up, hiding your face into your knees.
Bucky had run out from his room as soon as he heard the quinjet landing. He came into the bay, looking around for you, but all he could see was Steve, Nat and Clint. Steve smiled upon seeing his best friend, "Hey Jerk, how was your day?" Steve asked, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
"Uh… not great… where's y/n?" Bucky asked, running his hand through his hair. Nat, Clint and Steve all turned their head to look at each other before looking at Bucky. "In her room, catching an early night." Steve smiled, "Steve… I screwed up!" Bucky panicked.
Clint and Nat were putting away their things while Steve stayed with Bucky. "Buck… I don't know what to say." Steve lightly spoke. "Give y/n some time. But not today." Nat spoke before walking out the doors with Clint. Bucky looked back at Steve, "What's with everyone telling me not to bother her today? Wanda, Sam… even Tony has said the same thing."
"This mission was draining for her," Steve advised his friend before giving him another reassuring pat on the back. "If you really want to know, without bother y/n. Just ask Tony. I'm sure he'll tell you." Steve smiled, walking off.
Tony was focused on his tech while Bruce was working at his computer, Bucky had walked in, and without looking up, Tony spoke. "What did you do to my daughter, Barnes?" He questioned. Bucky stood there feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Tony… I really am. The mission got to me, and I took it out on her." Tony looked up from his laptop, "have you apologised to her?" Bucky shook his head. "Good. Like I said earlier, let her cool down." He spoke before going back to working on his tech.
Bucky stood there trying to say something, "Is there something else, Barnes?"
"That's what I wanted to ask you about." this made Tony sigh. A hand running down his chin, Tony gives Bruce a look. Walking over, he patted the surface of Bucky's back, "Come… sit", he spoke, taking a seat at one of the lab tables. "By what she tells me, you don't know that she was an ex-hydra assassin, correct?" Bucky's face was confused. He was taken aback. "Well, I'm taking that as a yes."
"You know I'm surprised that you've never come across her..." Tony continued. Bucky was wide-eyed; oh, he knew he was such an idiot. "If my time calculation is right, you would've been there the same time as her." looking directly at Bucky, "You're going to have to ask her yourself about her past. Seeing as I know about last night and the fact that you love my daughter." he let out a slight smirk. "I advise that you do one hell of a job to make sure she knows you love her." He spoke. Bucky nodded, and there Tony was, telling you bits of your story.
"I've spent almost two years not knowing she was a part of Hydra? God, I'm so stupid." he sighed, "Tony, I really am sorry." Bucky looked at him. "Don't tell me that; tell her that, bud."
He thought back to all of the times you were with him, all the times you tried to tell him. So when you said you understood him, you really were telling him the truth. Although he couldn't remember the conversation between you two last night, he knew from what Wanda had shown him.
Getting into the shower, you stood underneath the running water for quite a while.
Your thoughts floating in your head, this mission had torn you to pieces, physically and mentally. It had drained you, and all you needed was to regain your health. Cleaning yourself off and washing your hair, you spent a few minutes more under the running water. Thinking about the mission and about Bucky. Bucky was on your mind; you confided in him. He was like your best friend, so you didn't know how to feel when he did this. You tried the entire night to understand his feelings, but you weren't genuinely processing it.
Bucky was walking back to the main quarters when he heard your angered scream, "BUCKY FUCKING BARNES," looking at yourself in the mirrors. Your hair was a mix of pink and green. You furiously went into your showering, grabbing the shampoo and conditioner bottle, checking the contents; it was dye.
Bucky ran up the stairs, coming out into the halls where Sam was standing just a bit away from your room. Then it clicked; Sam turned to Bucky, "I thought you took it out of her shower." Bucky mentally face-palmed himself. "I forgot! I forgot!" Nat and Wanda were coming out of their rooms; they looked at each other with an 'oh fuck look'. Bucky turned to Wanda and Nat, who looked like they were going to kill him. "I'm sorry!" He panicked.
You were a mix of furious and sad; you paced around your room with tears streaming uncontrollably down your face. You dried your hair, slipping into a comfy jumper, some tights, and your combat boots. You pulled the hood over your head, grabbing your daggers. All you saw was red. Today all you needed was a nice shower, to have some food, put your mission gear away and then head to bed. But this was it, that was the cherry on top; you let the emotions run free.
You came out of your room to see Wanda, Nat, Sam, Clint and Vision standing there. "Where's Barnes!" You yelled at them. "H-here." Bucky came out from the staircase; your eyes snapped in his direction. Sam stood in front of your path, "y/n… y/n it was me. I'm-" you were still fuming; you had used your abilities to throw him out of your path. Clint came in sight, and you did the same thing to him.
Storming towards Bucky, your dagger was in your hand. Bucky stood there, not really know what to do. You kicked his chest in with much force that he went flying onto the ground. Groaning, you stalked closers, kneeling onto his chest, and he let you. You pulled the dagger to his throat. When you aggressively took the hoodie off to reveal your face, he could see you were crying. "You think this is fucking funny, Barnes?" You yelled at him, "I have done nothing but be nice to you!" You continued yelling at him.
Nat came in from behind you, but Bucky shook his head, "It's okay, Nat, let her." He groaned as you pushed into his chest. Still, with a dagger to his throat, he looked into your eyes as your cried. "I… I get it… I get that you hate me! I get it!" You cried out in anger. Everyone didn't really know what to do or how to react. They all just stood there watching.
"Y/n… please sweet. You're hurting him." Wanda spoke, your face dropped a bit, turning to Wanda, your eyes darkened, you couldn't get it out of your head. She saw it; she saw this look once before. This just made you a hundred times more dangerous, and you knew she wouldn't get in your way.
Turning back to Barnes, he was looking at you. "A-all I wanted was to come home, have a fucking shower and go to sleep." Your anger is apparent to him. The angrier you got, your hair began to strip of pink and green, turning into a jet black colour.
"I've called Tony," Clint reassured.
Bucky lifted his hand, he tried to caress your face, but you quickly swatted it away, "y/n… I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you…" he furrowed his brows, trying to bring back the y/n he loved. Your whimpers heard from him, "what did I do! What did I do for you not to like me." You yelled into his face. "I don't hate you Y/n… I promise you, I lo-" he stopped when you pushed the dagger further into his neck. You were too angry to let him speak; you couldn't.
Steve and Tony running up the stairs, Bucky briefly looked at Steve.
A black glow emitting from your other hand, and your eyes darkened more. Tony looked at Wanda and nodded. With a flick of her hands, she sent the dagger flying from your hands. Looking at Wanda, your eyes widened. Before you could do anything else, you were pulled off Bucky by the waist. "Hey… hey honey." You looked back to see your dad, a frown set upon your face as you dropped your hands; you gave in once you saw your dad.
Steve was helping Bucky up while everyone just stood there as you cried into your dad's arms, whimpering into his chest. He brought you into a tight hug caressing your back. Bruce came from behind, sedating you with an injection. Your eyed dilated slightly as you looked at your dad with pleas before falling limp into his arms.
Everyone watched, your hair turning back into its original colour. Bucky felt guilty, nor did he know that you had any abilities. Tony looks at Bucky shaking his head in disappointment before picking you up, carrying your sleeping body back to your room. "Friday, get Pepper over here," Tony spoke. "Right away, Tony."
"So everyone saw that?" Sam asked, "Y/n has powers?"
"Yes, she does, and it's none of your business." Wanda shook her head, walking off with Nat. Bucky was catching his breath as Steve held onto him. "I fucked up, Steve… I really did." He felt so bad. Steve looked at him with sympathy. "C'mon, Bud, let's get you back to your room. We can discuss this tomorrow." He spoke. Bucky looked at his best friend, "But I need her to know that I'm sorry… Steve, I need to tell her that I love her." He was almost in tears. "And you will tomorrow. The dose Bruce gave her will last until morning." Steve said.
Bucky sighed, nodding in defeat as he made his way to his bed. "Just trying and get some sleep, Buck." Steve closed the door behind him. Bucky laid on his bed, looking up at the ceiling all night, trying to think of how to tell you he was sorry.
"They were eventually going to find out how bad she could get..." Tony spoke, running his hand down his face, "I told you and Fury not to put her on that mission, Tony." Pepper quietly yelled at him. They both turned your way, watching as you slept softly under your sheets. "She said she was okay; I trust her, Pep. Who am I if I am not to trust our own daughter's words?" Tony sighed. Pepper's arms folded, she took a seat right next to you, caressing the hair out of your face. "Is Bucky okay?" Pepper asked; Tony rolled his eyes. "He's okay; Steve said he keeps going on about apologising."
"Are you going to let him apologise?" Pepper asked Tony.
"Mh… I'm thinking about it."
"Yes, okay… I'm not one to stop metal arm from apologising." Tony replied.
"Don't call him that," Pepper spoke, giving your forehead a kiss. "Okay... sorry," he whined before doing the same, pulling your duvets up to keep you warm…
Groaning, your eyes flutter open. You didn't move; you just stared at the ceiling. You remembered everything last night, and you felt guilty for what you had done to Bucky. Laying amongst your pillows, you continued to stare at the ceiling.
It was maybe about 45 minutes later when a soft knock on your door lured you from your daze. Bucky knocking on the door didn't bother you. You just continued your stare into the void.
On the outside of the door were Bucky and Tony. Tony stared at Bucky, whispering. "Go in, Manchurian Candidate. We don't have all day." Tony spoke, opening the door, pushing Bucky in before closing the door behind him. You were awake and unbothered by his presence.
He walked towards your bed, taking a seat next to you. "I made you your favourite." He lightly smiled; you softly turned your head to look at him then to the plate of food. Bucky indeed made your favourite food, but you had no words. You didn't say anything but turned back to stare at the ceiling. Bucky placed the plate on your bedside table. Lying right next to you, he sighed.
"Y/n… I'm really sorry about last night and the night before. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I just wasn't in the right headspace, and I took it out on you" He quietly spoke. "I'm really sorry..."
"I know there have been multiple times you've tried to tell me that you were kidnapped by Hydra… and I'm sorry it took me until now to know." He turned to you as you tensed. He was exploring your features, the ones he had grown to love since the day he first met you.
"And I-" Bucky went to speak, but you cut him off, "Do you hate me?" You quietly asked, still with your eyes to the ceiling. Bucky shook his head, "I could never hate you y/n." "Then why say it?" You asked him again. "Because I was an idiot. I was angry, but I didn't mean any of it. I was so caught up in the mission that I took it out on you." he looked down at his hands.
"It was like I lost myself when I got back to the compound. But that is no excuse for what I did to you, and for that, I will spend however long it takes to make it up to you." You turned to look at him, and he was already looking at you. Sympathy in his eyes, you knew he was genuinely sorry.
"I never meant to hurt you last night, Buck. I'm really sorry, I feel horrible." He smiled lightly at you, "You don't need to be sorry. I understand how you felt, and I'm an idiot. I never wanted to hurt you."
And like any other conversation of yours, the pair of you started fighting again.
"But you did-"
"I know I did-"
"What did I do, Bucky? Where did I go wrong?"
"Nowhere… you didn't do anything."
"But then why-" you were thinking out loud, and you didn't mean to; the words were just slipping out.
"Because I love you, okay? I love you y/n! And I am so angry with myself that waited this long to tell-"
"I love you too..." You cut in. "I know you do," you spoke again.
"You know?" Bucky questioned. You nodded, "I have been able to read your mind since the day you step foot inside this compound, Bucky. I've loved you even before you started liking me." you sent him a small smile.
He went to speak but quickly shut his mouth, taking the advice that Tony gave him about listening to you. "And when you told me you hated me, I couldn't read your mind. I couldn't tell myself that you were lying and that you said it out of the moment." A tear fell down your face. Bucky rested his hand on your cheek, lightly caressing away the tears. "I've spent months trying to tell you so you knew you could talk to me. Because I understood. I wanted you to know that we had something in common. I wanted you to know that I loved you. But you never gave me that chance."
"All the times you would turn away from me, or ignore me or even go as far as to telling the team that you didn't want to go on missions with me."
"I tried because I thought you hated me…. Until that day, when you came home, and I had made you tacos. That was the first time I heard your mind again; I had heard you say that you loved me."
Bucky smiled; he remembered that day. Thinking back to it now, he knew he never said it, but he felt it because it was true. "So you knew what I've been thinking this whole time?" He quietly asked; you nodded softly.
"So, how about now?" He asked.
You furrowed your brows and then heard it, I love you, Y/n.
A small smile paved your face, "yeah... I heard that." he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your lips which you returned.
He thought again, I'm so sorry for everything… I can't lose you, not when I've barely had you. I'm trying my best, for you and for me.
Your eyes opened back up, you stared into his eyes. "I forgive you, Bucky. Just please don't hurt me again." You whispered.
Bucky gave you a nod, kissing your forehead. "I will never hurt you again."
With the soft blink of your eyes, you believed him. You opened up your blanket, inviting him in. He took his shoes off and slide in next to you, pulling you into his arms. You smiled as he held you close to him. "Y/n?" Bucky whispered. You looked up to him humming in response.
"If it's not too much to ask, could you show me your past?" He asked; you thought about it for a second before gently nodding. Bringing your hand up, placing your hand softly on his forehead. Cuddled up together, you confided in him once and, going back to show him what you'd been trying to tell him from the very start.
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The Past Can Break You - 10
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?
A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.
You look directly at Bucky, “Oh baby, I was wondering if the Winter Soldier would like to play,” you say shaking the red book with the black star.
Bucky froze in fear. His heart is completely broken. You, his love, the woman he would kill for, is wanting to turn him into the monster.
Bucky and you stare at each other for a few moments, having a silent conversation. He finally breaks eye contact with you when your smirk widens. He looks down at Dot, who is trembling on the ground beside him.
“Dot, you need to stay back. I... I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you if she does this,” he says.
Dot looks up at Bucky terrified, “Why would you hurt me? What is that book Jamie?” she cries.
You open the book and turn through the pages, looking for the one you need.
“Y/N what the fuck is wrong with you? This is not part of the plan!” Nat shouts hoping to get through to you.
“Nat. I know you wanted to help, but obvious Jamie over there picked who he wants. I need to make them both suffer for hurting me,” you say.
“This isn’t the way to go about it. You know who those words bring out. You will never forgive yourself for hurting the man you love,” Nat pleads.
You laugh, “Nat, please.”
You look back at Bucky who is holding Dot’s arms begging her to leave. “She isn’t going anywhere!” you yell.
You look down at the Russian words before and slowly start to read off the list, one by one. Each time you read a word, you look at Bucky, who stays tensely still. After a few words you look at Nat, who looks at you with furrowed brows. It makes you smirk knowing that she is starting to catch on.
You look back over at Bucky and say the remaining words and see him straighten up, staring at you with an intensity you can feel go right through you. You look at him and cock your head to the side, and then look at Dot, who is frozen watching everything go on.
“You see Dot. Bucky boy was used and abused by these people called HYDRA. They brainwashed him and had him kill on their whim by using trigger words,” you say with a smile as you see her pale. “Now that he has been triggered, he only listens to me and will do what I say.”
Dot starts to cry and tremble, “Please. Please don’t let him hurt me,” she cries.
You coo in fake sympathy and then look at Bucky, “Soldat?” you call, and then motion for him to come and stand beside you. He walks over silently and stands by your side facing your friends. You whisper something in Bucky’s ear and then step back and he walks toward Dot.
“No one move or I will make sure you all regret it in more ways than one!” you shout to your team who stares at you and then watching Bucky walk toward a hysterical Dot.
“Jamie, please! It’s me! It’s your Dot. You love me! Baby please!” she pleads through her tears.
Bucky grabs her arm and drags her toward you before depositing her in front of you. You laugh at how pathetic she looks and squat in front of her, “Now, why don’t you tell everyone how you fucked my boyfriend. Tell them how you are nothing but a lying manipulative whore. TELL THEM HOW YOU MADE SURE I HEARD YOU FUCKING HIM!” you yelled.
Dot is sobbing harder. Steve stepped by, “Y/N that’s enough,” he said in his authoritative tone.
You look up at your captain and stand, giving him a short nod, “You’re right Cap. It is enough. So, Dot let’s try again, and if you lie I will make my soldier here do something he will regret. So tell me... did you sleep with Bucky when he came home from that mission?” you ask calmly.
Dot is too hysterical to answer and just shakes her head no. You look up at your team and then to Bucky, who has a hard face on staring at the woman in front of him.
“How did you get sounds of Bucky moaning like that?” you ask, still calmly.
Dot takes a deep breath and looks around the room and stops at Tony before looking at you. “I-I.... I pretended to be interested in FRIDAY so Tony will show me everything,” she says. “I had FRIDAY record you and James having sex and then had him change from saying your name to my name. When I heard you coming out of your room, I had FRIDAY play it in my room so it sounded like James was in there,” she says.
Bucky takes a step forward, but you put your hand on his shoulder to stop him. He looks at you and nods to tell you it was ok to release him, which you did. Now Bucky squatted down in front of Dot, “You just couldn’t let me be happy if it wasn’t with you,” he says angrily.
Dot looked at him in surprise, “Jamie?” she gasps.
Bucky gives a dry laugh, “You are as poisonous as you were back in the 40′s. I should have known better than to help you. You tried to ruin my relationship!” he yelled as he stood back up and wrapped him arm around your waist. “This woman loves me in spite of all the bullshit I have been through in my life. In spite of who I was and what I did. Do you honestly think you could handle being with a murderer Dot?” he asked her.
Dot now stood up and wiped her tear-stained face, “No. When you told me about you and your friends, I knew that I didn’t want you anymore, but when I saw you were famous... I...” she trailed off.
You scoff, “You spoiled bitch!” you yell.
Bucky squeezes your waist and then let’s go before stepping toward Dot, who fearfully takes a step back. Bucky glares at her for a moment before looking up at Tony, “Are we all set on everything?” he asks.
“Oh you bet. Small little apartment in her old neighborhood. Enough money to cover 1 months rent,” Tony said.
Dot looked at Bucky, “And what am I supposed to do with 1 months rent?” she asks annoyed.
“I don’t give a damn. Figure it out. Get a damn job, but let me tell you something. If you ever come near me, or my girl again, I will make you regret it. Got it Dolores?” Bucky sneered.
Dot whimpered and then turned running out of the room. Sam and Wanda offered to go make sure she leaves. Bucky turns toward you and cups your face, “Are you ok?” he asks searching your eyes.
You can’t help but laugh, “I made you pretend to go Winter Soldier Mode, and you’re asking if I’m ok?”
Bucky laughs and pulls you into a passionate kiss, which was interrupted by Nat, “You could have told me ya know,” she says feigning annoyance.
“You’re right. But your face when you were scared was pretty funny. How was my Russian?” you ask with a smirk.
Nat laughs, “Well when you were saying words like teddy bear and lollipop, I figured you 2 planned something without me,” she said.
“Sorry, I needed it to look as real as possible,” you said with a shrug.
Nat walks away with a smirk and you look at Bucky again. “So,” he says, “Are we ok?”
Chapter 9 / Chapter 11 (finale)
Did you really think I was going to let the reader turn Bucky back into the Winter Solider? I know a lot of people asked to be tagged, so I will comply, but taglist is now closed for this story because folks we only have 1 chapter left. Feedback is appreciated.
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the bodyguard | part 3
pairings: bodyguard!bucky barnes x chief of staff!female reader
summary: part 3 | the date | you’re still trying to adjust to your life with a bodyguard along with going on a dinner date with your ex, your life really couldn’t be any more confusing.
warnings: angsty, fluffy, reader x james starting to get a bit more...friendly, mentions of ex, dinner with ex, John Walker is the ex, ex is a bit of a douchebag, slow-build up with your bodyguard
As usual, you close your eyes for sleep, and boom, just like that it’s already the next morning.
You wake up and make your first coffee. You get dressed and scroll through the news. This is your usual morning.
Every morning. 6 days a week.
But you loved it. Every morning you practically jumped out of bed. This was your dream job.
You were so enthralled with the news and your upcoming schedule for the day you almost forgot you had a bodyguard standing outside.
Ugh. You silently groan to yourself.
As you get ready you take a little longer with your hair and makeup than usual. You try to tell yourself it’s because of the dinner with your ex tonight but you know both your hair and makeup will be ruined by then.
You are making yourself look nice for... James.
“Stop.” You whisper to yourself in the mirror.
You cannot seriously think this guy is hot. Or that anything will happen. You don’t even KNOW the guy. Jesus. You roll your eyes at yourself in the mirror and proceed out the door. You are shocked when you open it.
“Good morning,” James says with a smile. He hands you your coffee.
“Uh… Hi.” You say as you take it.
You stare at the coffee and then back at him. You take a sip and it’s perfect. It’s your order. Exactly. You stand back and stare at him half amazed and half amused.
“Is it right?” He asks.
“Yeah. Thank you.” You smile.
He smiles and nods his head. You two begin walking down the hallway and you catch yourself smiling.
Oh, this is not good.
Work is busy as usual and before you know it, it’s the end of the day. Your last meeting runs over and you realize you are late for dinner. You swing the door open and James smiles once he sees you, this, in turn, makes you smile.
“Ready?” He asks.
“Unfortunately. Let’s hope this is quick.”
This makes James chuckle.
Once you get to the restaurant. You are practically running through the door with James quickly behind you.
Once inside the restaurant, you see Walker seated by the windows. You walk over and turn to see James is a seated few tables behind you.
“Does he follow you everywhere?” Walker asks as he stands to greet you with a kiss on the cheek.
“Well, that’s the point of a bodyguard hm?” You say with an eyebrow raise as you sit and pick up the menu.
You both order food and drinks. You seem to be enjoying yourself until your ex brings the conversation back to James.
“They couldn’t have sent you an uglier one?” He asks and you can’t help but laugh.
“Jealous, Johnny?” You smirk.
“No. I hope to god your standards are higher than a bodyguard.” He retorts.
This comment annoys you so you decide to fight back.
“Well. I dated you for 4 years.”
He looks up at you and narrows his gaze.
“Move in with me. You will be safe there.”
You snort as you place your drink down and give a dramatic eye roll.
“Walker --“ you begin and he cuts you off.
“I’m serious, move back in. You will be safer there than in your apartment.”
“I like my apartment. It comes with a bodyguard.” You smirk.
Walker is unamused.
“Baby — can we please. Can you please just come back. I fucked up and I’m sorry. It’s been two years and neither of us has moved on. I want to be with you. I want to marry you and have kids with you and-“
“Walker, I swear to god if you are now going to add a house and a dog to your list of demands.” You stop him.
“Y/N, please. We’ve practically been together for 6 years. I love you.” He sighs and attempts to grab your hand.
You pull away. You were so over this conversation between the two of you.
He’s been trying to have it for the past year and will not accept you are not ready. You did not want kids or a family yet. You were in the prime of your career. You do not have time to play loving wife and caring mom.
You’re also not even together anymore, which seems to be something he keeps forgetting. You down your drink and signal for the check.
“Walker, I’m done with this conversation. We are not together anymore. We haven’t been together in years. It’s not going to happen.” You say and he sits back annoyed.
“Well if I do recall correctly a few nights ago…”
You narrow your gaze at him, and he knows to shut up.
Yes, you technically have been broken up for two years but he was right. Neither of you had moved on and well, you enjoyed sleeping with him. Work can be stressful and he’s the only guy you’ve ever been with.
So what you spend a few nights with him every now and then...
Once they deliver the check you slap enough cash down to pay for both of your meals.
“I’m going to keep trying until you agree to have this conversation with me. Like an adult.” He says as you both stand up.
“Well keep trying, Walker. I have other things to worry about.” You pat him on his shoulder.
“I love you.” He pleads as he grabs your arm before you take off.
You turn and look him in the eyes. You want to give into him. It would be so easy. You almost lean in and kiss him but you pull yourself away.
You quickly make your way outside and James is quick to follow you. You feel tears in your eyes and are annoyed. You want to move on, but you just can’t. Walker knows you better than anyone and you fear no one can get to know you and love you the way your life is now. You're too much for anyone to ever love, you think to yourself.
Which are words Walker often said to you whenever you two would fight.
James notices you wipe a tear away but doesn’t say anything as he opens the door for you.
“Can I sit up front? Like a normal person. I hate the feeling of you driving me around like you’re my chauffeur.” You mumble.
Too much of your surprise he doesn’t object. He closes the door and walks you around to the passenger side. He opens the door for you once more.
“Thanks.” You mumble and climb inside.
You two drive back to your apartment and the three or four drinks from dinner have gone to your head. You lean your head back and look at James.
“Are you married?” You ask and he doesn’t answer for a few seconds.
“No. Divorced.” He eventually says.
“Of course. What did you do? Cheat?”
“No ma — no. She didn’t have much patience for me and my job.” He responds.
You can tell by his facial expressions it’s more than that but you don’t push.
“I’m sorry — I didn’t mean to —“ you begin and he shrugs his shoulders.
“It’s fine.” He responds.
“It’s just my ex…he fucked me over. So I have a bias against men lately.” You admit and James chuckles.
You sit there in silence a little longer until James finally speaks.
“So why did you two break up?” He asks.
You stare at him again. You’re amazed he asked such a question. When you first met him you thought he would be quiet. But last night and tonight he seems interested in you. This was quite the bold move.
“It’s... it’s a long story.” You sigh.
“We have time.” He says glancing at you pulling one hand from the wheel and laying it between you both on the console.
His response and action make you smirk. You ramble your thoughts of where you want to begin.
You eventually give him the sweet and short synopsis of your relationship with your ex.
You two met in law school. You had similar interests in working for the government so you moved to DC together after graduation. That's when you met the then Governor of Massachusetts. He asked you and Walker to both come and work for him but Walker denied. Once he ran for president though, Walker of course joined the campaign team. The President and Walker were very close. You all were very close.
“And well... the night of the election, Walker asked me to marry him.”
James stops the car as you two have reached your apartment building. He turns to look at you while you finish your story, his hand remaining on the center console, you glance down and notice his arm just a few inches from yours.
“And?” He says.
“And well... moments before the President had asked me to be his chief of staff over Walker. So, when I told him the news that kinda caused some issues between us…he — he threw the ring box across the room and stormed out. He then broke up with me over text while he flew home that night.” You sigh as you glance down at the floorboard.
There was a pause of silence between the two of you. You were getting ready to get out of the car when James finally spoke.
“So, let me get this straight…he was jealous that you were smarter than him and the more competent one for the job and broke up with you?”
His tone takes you back. You’re shocked by his response.
“It was more than that...” you trail off.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep.” He says as he unbuckles his seatbelt.
“It’s alright.” You respond.
You throw your head back and remember your ex, the same ex who stormed out on you the night of the election, wanting you to move back in with him and start a family.
James looks at you confused.
“Is everything okay?” He asks and you continue to laugh.
“I left so abruptly because he has been trying to get me to move back in with him. To start a family. Kids.” You laugh.
James continues to stare at you, he’s not sure how many drinks you had but he knows this isn’t your usual put-together self.
“Fucking kids. God. No. I mean who would want-“ your eyes widen and you look over.
“Oh god you have kids, don’t you.”
He chuckles and nods his head.
“Yeah. Two.” For some reason, you smile at his admission.
“Two? You have two kids?” You say shocked.
“Yes. Rebecca and Steve,” He smiles. It’s a very genuine-proud-dad type of smile.
You love it.
“I don’t have anything against kids. I like kids. I just — not right now. Not yet. I’m too young.” You explain and he nods his head to assure you he’s not offended by your remark.
“Sorry, I’m so talkative.” You blurt out as James attempts to ask you a question. He chuckles to himself and asks once more.
“How old are you, if I may?” James asks as he turns to open his door. You look at him and smirk.
“Shouldn’t you know that information, James?” You ask. You realize you called him by his first name versus his last.
It felt so natural, you enjoyed the feeling of his name leaving your lips. You noticed it took him by surprise as well, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Yeah. I do. I just wanted you to say it.” He smirks and gets out.
As you two walk up to your apartment you continue pestering James.
“So I’m young right? Impressive right? For me to be chief of staff and a woman and so young?” The drinks are really making you seem like an idiot, but you don’t care.
You want him to admit how impressive you are. You want him to be impressed by you.
You stumble up the steps and James grabs ahold of you and steadies you.
“Woah, Woah hold on, I’ve got you.” He wraps his hand around your waist to steady you and your breath hitches in your throat. This is enough to somewhat bring you out of your intoxicated state.
“Are you alright?” He asks, it’s a whisper, as he holds you close to him, closer than you’ve ever been.
“Mhm.” You quickly respond before you pull from his embrace and race up the steps.
You unlock the door and let him sweep through the place. You’re leaning against the wall trying to erase all thoughts of his touch from your mind until he comes back out.
“All good.” He says into his earpiece. He pulls away and looks at you. He gives you a sympathy pout as he can tell you’re unwell.
He reaches his hand out and motions for you to grab it, you do, of course. He then reaches behind you and places his other hand on the small of your back as he leads you inside and sits you down on the couch.
“Do you want some water?” He asks.
“No. No. I’m fine. Sit down.” You respond as you kick off your shoes.
“I can’t, I’m on the clock.”
This response forces you to roll your eyes.
“Boo.” You say and he laughs.
He turns to leave and you stop him.
“You still need to answer my question.”
He stops and turns around.
“Why does it matter what I think?”
This answer intrigued you. You stand up and walk toward James.
“Why wouldn’t it matter what you think?” You respond.
He smiles as you stumble a little bit on your words.
“Yes, Y/N. I think it’s impressive you’re 30 years old and the chief of staff to the President of the United States.”
The sound of your name so nonchalantly coming out of his mouth made your heart skip. It sounded so much better with his subtle Brooklyn accent.
“Do you have a picture of your kids?”
He nods and immediately pulls out his phone. His background is him and his two kids.
“Wow, they are so beautiful.” You admit.
As you continue to look at the picture, you realize you’re staring at James more than the kids. He seems so carefree and happy.
That smile. You’d like to see that smile you think to yourself.
You glance back up at him and he is watching you intently.
“Thank you.” He says as he puts his phone back in his pocket.
You both stand there for a few seconds and you eventually pull away.
“Well... um. See you in the morning.” You say and he nods his head.
You walk him to the door and as he turns to walk down the hallway you blurt out,
He turns back around and slyly smiles,
a/n: oooOOOOO!! things heating UP!! hope you enjoyed <3
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What Has Been, What Can Never Be I
Summary: Steve Rogers had returned to the past, hoping to move on from the chaos of the future. Leaving the woman that had loved him as someone more than just the persona of Captain America and his best friend that has always been with him until the end of the line.
But as he had come to settle in this new life back in his own time, regret was somehow coming to follow. When he decides to return to the present, things have changed and you, the woman that had always promised to be there for him was now happy with his best friend as the two of you moved on with your lives without Steve Rogers in it.
Characters: Bucky Barnes x Witch!Reader; Ex!Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader; Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter. Sam Wilson. Helmut Zemo. Sharon Carter.
Warnings: None For this Chapter
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I: For The Ones That We Lost
Life has been different from what you had always thought it would be. But the sight of how your life had now become post-Steve Rogers was something to behold. You had always believed you would end up withering away in your own despair as Steve chose his past life over you. Choosing Peggy over you. But somehow here you were, a beaming smile on your lips as you helped Sarah with preparing food for everyone.
You had once lost your family at the hands of Tony Stark, vowed to kill him as retaliation, and eventually finding a family in the Avengers. A love you never thought you were still allowed to have, a family that you could somehow call as you own, as imperfect as it was.
"Are you heading back home?" Sarah had inquired.
With everything that had happened with the Flag Smashers, you had only thought it was best to get a few days off to rest--something you never really had been allowed to do since being dusted, to fighting Thanos, to everything else in between.
"Maybe." You shrugged, not really sure where Home was anymore.
With Tony long gone, as well as Nat and Steve, there wasn't really anyone you could come home to. Sokovia was no longer a home for you as much as it wasn't a home to Wanda.
You had remembered Zemo's offer in his castle and a small part of you wanted to take him up on that offer. Stay in your country for a while before you were back to work with Sam and Bucky if you were needed to be.
"Sam said you're looking for a place, ever thought about a place here? I know someone that can help you out with a place."
What you have never known of since the death of Tony Stark, was the trust fund he had place under your name as well as Wanda's, was it something he had always thought of to repay the sins of his past or was it just something he did after everything they've all been through. Being the father to you when you had lost your own. With the money, you wanted to start a new life, pursue higher education, or even just start a small little bakery or cafe like you had always dream of having with your family when they were still alive.
"I'll take you up on that offer, Sarah." You smiled at the older woman, appreciating all the hospitality she had given you and even Bucky since your arrival to their home. How easy she had treated you like a part of the family, unafraid of the powers that courses through your finger tips.
Maybe Louisiana is the place you could get your start. After everything you had lost, it was time for you to get back up on your feet and start rebuilding your life.
"Hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Turning to the owner of the voice, a smile rested on your lips at the sight of Bucky. Two cakes in his hands. A signature dessert he would bring whenever he comes to visit.
"Not much, James." You assured, letting go of the plates you were stacking to give the man a warm hug.
What many people don't know was their shared sentiments. They had lost so much in their life due to HYDRA's control, lost the freedom they once had, and lost someone that had always promised to be there when they need him the most. He had lost a best friend, and you had lost the only man you had ever loved.
It still hurts, you know as much, but for Bucky you know how much he was hurting more than you could even imagine. But slowly, the pain wasn't so painful like it used to be. They've got each other now, they got Sam, they got Sarah, and they got Sharon and even Zemo too (as much as Bucky would hate to admit it).
"How's the trip?" You inquired knowing how hard it was to travel all the way from Brooklyn to Louisiana.
"Got stopped by a couple of Metal Detectors in the airport." He points out and you broke into an carefree giggle.
A hand resting so freely on his vibranium arm. You had often teased him about it, how it's gonna be a problem he's gonna have to face on a daily basis especially when going to the airport.
"Please tell me you didn't scare the airport security." You teased.
"I did no such thing, Doll." He smirked hands resting on the small of your back. "But they did get the spooks when they saw the metal arm."
You nodded understanding, having been with him on one flight and seeing first-hand everything he had to go through and you tried your best to ease him fearing it would bring him back to a dark place.
"Let's get the show on the road, Love Birds." Sam's voice broke you two from your conversation and like being burned had you two pulling apart quicker.
The blush somehow found their way on both of your faces as the knowing look was shared between the Wilson Siblings.
"Can you help me with getting the plates and utensils out, Y/N?" Sarah finally offered knowing no one was going to save either of you from the awkward situation.
"Right." You had somehow found yourself taking all of the plates and utensil with you. You magic helping you out in the process.
"So you and Y/N?" Sam had inquired as soon as you and Sarah had left the kitchen leaving the two men to their own conversation.
"Sam." The warning tone was evident--but still ignored by the man.
The last thing Bucky would ever want is to take advantage of Steve's girl. But then again, you were no longer his girl. Peggy was his girl and you were just--someone he had left behind.
He could still remember the moment were you had talked to Steve's older self. A smile might had been on your lips, telling him how happy you were for him, for staying where he would be his happiest, but no one, not even Sam knew what you did after. The pained sobs that broke from your lips when you had thought no one was looking.
It was a pain Bucky was all too familiar with. He had known Steve would have stayed back in the past, but what he had never accounted for was keeping it a secret from you. Leaving you to hope and break your heart in the process.
"Take good care of her for me, Buck."
He had kept his promise to Steve. He had been there for you even when you didn't need his presence. Even when you had shoved him away time and time again in the earlier days of life after Steve, Stark, and Natasha.
You had lost three of the most important figures in your life, and he had wanted to make sure that he could be there for you, help in his own little way. Making you believe that there was still someone out there that cares for you. He cared, more than he would try to admit.
But then, things just evolved from his unspoken responsibility. He wasn't just taking care of you. He genuinely cared for you. One of the few peoples that had understood how he was still paying for the sins of his past. One that stood by him when everyone else turned their back on him.
His feelings were something he tried his best to hide. He wasn't better just yet. He wanted to be better before he could even think of whatever Sam was insinuating.
"You can scowl all you want but that definitely isn't just a friendly hug you two were in." Sam smirked patting him on the back before dragging him out of the porch.
"She's just a friend." Bucky muttered, hoping it was enough that even he could believe it.
"And I'm not Captain America." Sam snorts sitting him right down on the table--right in front of you, blush from whatever Sarah was telling you.
"What were you ladies talking about?" Sam had inquired knowing fully well it has something to do with Bucky and you.
"We were talking about a place I could buy." You intervened. "It's either here or Brooklyn." You continued.
It was enough for Sam to change the subject of whatever was going on between Bucky and you as he explain a few good places you could either rent or buy.
In the conversation, Bucky just couldn't help himself as he just looks at you. It took him a while to understand why the Punk had gone for you.
You were just a darling to be around. Rough around the edges--for a very good reason, but you just had this look in you. The doe eye that would make even the stone cold killer break even for just a second; it was him, he was the stone cold killer. You spoke your mind, but always placed everyone else's happiness before your own. You always downplay your abilities only for you to take down anyone you could ever come across with just a flick of your wrist.
Yeah. He might be in love--faster than he ever thought possible.
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old friends. bucky barnes
word count: 1.7k
warnings: swearing, angst, mention of killing, guns, knives, lots of sarcasm and anger all the good stuff
requested: heey love! just saw that your requests are open and I thought I could request a Bucky oneshot because I am really in love with your writing. so, here's the idea: the reader is a skilled assassin herself but is more like an antihero. somehow she encounters the avengers, like Sam or Steve maybe, which is how she gets to know Bucky. They start to evolve feelings for each other blabla until one day buck looses control and beats her up like really really bad cause she doesn't wanna fight him back. I'd love to leave the ending and details up to you!
a/n: i have a couple other parts already written for this and while this particular part doesn't completely fulfil the request, it is the start of something along those lines so hang in there! this is just the beginning!
you held your gun at arms length, eyes darting around the hallway as you scoped out your surroundings. your feet padded along the concrete hallway, your body clad in a skintight leather suit that was chafing your thighs like crazy. your bottom lip was caught between your teeth, turning another corner to find it empty like all the rest. you let out a humph, your eyebrows knitting for a second as you lowered your gun.
"what the hell?" you muttered under your breath. you tucked your gun back into the holster before continuing down the hallway until you reached a dead end and a single door. your hand hovered over your gun as you pushed the door. you rattled the door handle but it didn't budge. you took a few steps back before running at the door and slamming your shoulder into it with a thud.
suddenly the door cracked open and you went flying inside the room, stumbling over your own feet. your hand quickly grabbed your gun as you tried to regain yourself. your eyes travelled up, the same time you lifted your gun and in front of you stood a round of familiar faces. your eyes practically rolled to the back of your head as you straightened yourself out.
"oh god," you let out an audible groan. "what the hell are you guys doing here?"
"we could ask you the same thing," sam quipped back. you sent him a glare out the corner of your eye before redirecting your attention to steve who stood at the forefront of the team of avengers.
"god, you cock blocks always ruin my fun," your hand remained glued to the gun you held out aiming at steve, who was eyeing you up with caution.
"i wouldn't call disrupting a military organised rescue mission fun," sam couldn't help himself. you got on every one of his last nerves and you loved it.
you shrugged. "well that's why we could never be friends, bird man," you rolled your eyes back over to when he cleared his throat to intervene.
"enough," you sneered at the way he lowered his voice. "if you don't turn around and leave, we have no choice but to take you in— you know that."
"or maybe i could just go ahead and kill all of you," your smile dropped from your lips, watching steves frown deepen because he knew what kind of threat you were. "then you wouldn't have to do anything."
"c'mon, y/n," tony spoke up. you glanced at him for the first time since you barged in. the man you probably hated most out of them all. you didn't give him more than a glance.
"none of you have any idea who's dirty work you're doing here," you fought back, your grip growing tighter on the handle of your gun. your teeth gritted. "always blindly following orders, hm?"
"and what about you?" natasha couldn't hold her tongue any longer. you cocked an eyebrow, pursing your lips as the red head spoke up. "how long were you under dreykov's thumb for?"
you clenched your jaw, you took a few angry steps closer before swinging your arm so the gun faced natasha now. "you are a traitor and a coward, and you have no idea what you're talking about," you spat hastily. she didn't flinch, her arms remained folded across her chest, staring down the barrel of the gun.
"alright— enough!" steve intervened again, slapping the gun out of natasha's face. she huffed and turned away from you. "will you put that gun away for christ sake, nobody's killing anyone today."
you gritted your teeth, breathing through your nose to steady yourself. you had once gotten along with the avengers until they turned their back on you. and seeing them again was bringing back old feelings.
"you always did take her side in a fight," you dropped your gun down for a second, backing towards the door but you were halted. your back collided into another person, you turned around and saw a man staring down at you, blocking your way out. he had long, dark hair covering most of his face but the pair of piercing blue eyes was what caught your attention first. you took a step back as he towered over you, your gun slipping for a split second but you recovered quickly and tightened your grip.
"hang on—" your eyebrows knitted together as you came to a sudden realisation. "how the hell did you get your hands on the winter soldier?" your eyes trailed up and down him, his expression staying the same until you uttered the name. his jaw tightened as he glanced down at his feet for a second.
he shook his head, meeting your eyes again before he spoke. “that's not my name."
"oh really?" you teased, eyebrow twitching upwards. "we've met before, if you want me to jog your memory?” you followed his gaze as he tried to avoid your piercing stare. he shook his head a little softer this time. you gritted your teeth. "you tried to kill me."
he faltered for a split second but quickly tried to disguise it. he sniffed, shaking his head again. "i had no control—"
"oh, well that makes all the trauma you inflicted ok then—"
"y/n!" steve growled, cutting you short as his patience began to wear thin with you. it always did, you knew how to push every one of their buttons.
"cut it out, kid. you made your point," tony mumbled, his eyes struggling to meet yours. you shook your head.
"i can't believe i ever associated with you cranks."
"she was an avenger?" a voice you didn't recognise spoke for the first time, you frowned. it was young, girl-ish and wearing spandex.
"no," you narrowed your eyes at him and he seemed to shrink back away from you. you glanced at tony again. "you're recruiting kids now? that must be sitting nicely on your conscience, tony."
"i'm not a kid," the spandex clad kid in the corner tried lowering his voice to disguise himself but he'd already given himself away.
"have fun dealing with that weight when he gets killed, alright?" you teased a little too darkly.
"you never did know when to stop talking," clint chimed in for the first time.
"how's the wife and kids, barton? haven't paid them a visit in a while— 'they still living out in—"
he took a step forward, his hand moving to grab an arrow, his bow swinging up to face you but it was natasha who held out her hand to stop him.
"always so dramatic," you rolled your eyes, turning away from the gang and back to where the winter soldier stood blocking your exit. you look him up and down again. "steve, you wanna tell your guard dog to move out of my way or do i have to make him?"
"you can't leave, you're involved," steve was short, he was trying not to lose his temper with you. you made it incredibly hard for anyone to be nice to you.
"also, you just told us you came here to deliberately sabotage this mission," sam added. "we can’t just let you leave to finish off what you started."
you eyed them both up irritably. realistically you had no way of leaving if they were going to try and stop you. you were greatly outnumbered.
you humphed. "what're you gonna do with me anyhow? guarantee you'll be sick of me in a couple hours and you'll have wished you let me go right now."
"it's not up to us," tony shook his head. "you've got a lot of people looking to hold you accountable for some pretty serious shit."
you shook your head, chewing on your bottom lip. "assholes," you murmured, more to yourself than to them directly. you narrowed your eyes at him, eyebrows furrowing at the tone tony was taking with you. "if i remember correctly, you've all done some pretty serious shit in the past but i don't see that catching up with any of you."
"it's not the same—" tony shook his head but you cut him off.
"no because you have money, a shit tonne of it, so you can make it go away," you humphed, eyes dragging away from tony. "i don't see natasha being held accountable— and trust me—if you think i'm bad—“
"will you shut it," natasha snapped, her fists clenching at her side.
you let out a soft smirk, seeing her breathing heavy out the corner of you eye. "full house," you mumbled under your breath, amused that you got a rise out of every one of them in a matter of minutes. "you're all so easy."
"you're coming with us," steve ignored your comment, nodding to bucky. he picked up his shield and walked passed you without even a glance in your direction.
"fat chance," you scoffed, but before you could reach for your gun again, you were swiftly disarmed by the winter soldier. he tucked your gun away and made to grab your wrists, only for you to smack his hands away. you shook your right arm downwards, letting your backup knife fall from your sleeve and into your palm. you lifted it to his neck, the blade pressed up against his skin. "try to touch me again and i swear to god i'll kill you."
he didn't seem to flinch. he picked up on the slight tremble in your grip that might have gone unnoticed by anyone else. bucky gave you a second before catching you off guard and slapping the knife away from his throat, his hand catching your wrist before prying it out of your grip.
you huffed. "you're making the wrong call following them," you teased as he spun you around, yanking your hands behind your back and restraining your wrists with a zip tie. "trust me, you'll regret it. and i think you have enough regret to last you a lifetime, and then some.”
he turned back round to face him, his breath fanning your face he had leaned in so close to you. "why would i trust anything you say?"
you shrugged, your lips dipping down for a second. "that’s fair— you probably shouldn't."
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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Season Two: Agent Avery
Summary: During an intense interrogation, your existence is made obsolete when half the population is turned to dust. What felt like a mere five minutes was in fact— five years. ￼￼With the knowledge that Hydra was once again rising with intentions more sinister then the last, you do the job you were originally sent out to do. Protect Sargent James Buchanan Barnes at whatever means necessary. Kicking off right after the events of season one.
Prologue: “Cut off one head…” During an intense interrogation, your existence is made obsolete when half the population is turned to dust. What felt like a mere five minutes was in fact— five years. Setting out on an undercover op to observe the newly pardoned Super Soldiers post blip.
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Ghost of you
Characters: Bucky x y/n, 1940sBucky x y/n, Steve x y/n(platonic), 1940sSteve! x y/n (platonic)
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: none? Angst?
A/N: Since im still working on the parts to my current series aka i have writers block thought id post another story i had in my drafts! As always not edited or proof read, enjoy! 🤍
Also i know they had cameras back then but not the film ones yet i dont think but shhh live for the magic 🪄
Inspired by: Ghost of you by 5SOS
Steve knew he had to give the picture up to Bucky, it was the right thing to do, but it was the only picture he had of you. Steve was a righteous man that's what made him a great pick for Captain America, but this was hard. You were Steve's first friend, before Bucky and when Bucky came along things got better for Steve, he never thought he’d ever have friends, especially ones as amazing as Bucky and you. He sat there admiring your picture, tucked tightly on the other side of his picture of Peggy, two women who held such a special place in Steve’s heart. He pulled the picture out, unfolding the edges that were tucked away so it would fit, he ran thumbs over it straightening the picture out, a smile broke out on his face as he remembered the day the picture was taken.
“Oh look! There’s a guy taking pictures, I have to get one for Bucky, before he leaves so he can remember me”
Steve laughed, hand still in his pocket as y/n dragged him by his arm “I don’t think he’ll have trouble remembering you y/n”
A blush rose to y/n cheeks, she nudged Steve “Oh zip it you”
Y/n waved at the camera man “How much for one please?”
He looked her up in down, she was wearing a beautiful white dress, her hair perfectly curled, with bright red lipstick, “For you, absolutely nothing, just show me that beautiful smile” y/n nodded, giggling, letting go of Steve's arm she stood in front of the camera putting on an effortless smile.
When he handed her the picture she thanked him, giving him a kiss on the cheek, she held the picture out to show Steve “What’dya think Stevie”
Y/n squeezed his arm “Think he’ll like it?”
“It you y/n, of course he will”
“Mr. Rogers, Mr Barnes is back” FRIDAYS voice came through the comm system in Steve’s room “Thank you” Steve signed knowing it was time, but he just stared at the picture a little longer, taking in every feature. You always knew how to put a smile on anyone's face, all eyes always turned to you when you walked into any room but the only eyes you really cared about were Bucky’s. Steve had an ache in his chest thinking about all the things Bucky and you never got to have because you two were too stubborn to admit your feelings. All those wasted dates and kisses on other people. He really believed that his two best friends were soulmates.
“I miss you everyday y/n” Steve said, speaking out loud to the picture of you smiling so bright at the camera.
“Friday, where's Bucky?”
“He in the kitchen Mr.Rogers”
Ever since Bucky was cleared for missions after his stay in Wakanda Steve wanted to touch base with him on you, and he knew his best friend was just itching to ask for any information on you that Steve had. But the truth was Steve didn’t have much, he looked forever for something on you and when he tried to ask Peggy about what happened after he went under she was always so wary of answering, she knew how much you meant to Steve and by the time she was about to respond she made it back to step one realising Steve was in front of her, he did get bits and pieces though and he hoped that would be enough for Bucky.
“You at least have to have some sugar in that” Steve could hear Sam’s voice teasing Bucky on his coffee choices “Hey Cap!”
“How was the mission?”
Bucky shrugged his shoulders “Easy” Bucky eyes trailed down to something between Steve’s hands “What's that?”
“You okay Cap?” Sam asked
Steve nodded “Yeah uh sorry, hey Bucky you might wanna sit down”
Bucky’s eyebrows creased taking a sip of his coffee “Why?”
Steve glanced between Sam and Bucky “I have something for you, not sure how you’ll react”
Bucky rolled his eyes “You’re starting to annoy me Steve, just get to it”
“That doesn’t take much” Sam muttered
Steve signed, taking one last glance at you in the picture before extending his hand out with the picture face down for Bucky. Bucky reached out with his right arm, his left still holding his cup of coffee, his eyes went wide as he read y/n’s handwriting on the back.
Your best girl,
with love, always.
(Don't miss me too much)
He could feel his heart beating so loud, he remembers the last time he saw you before he left for the war, he remembers you handing him the envelope that contained a letter he wished he still had and this picture.
“I'm gonna miss you Buck” y/n sniffled, a tear rolling down her cheek “You be safe”
Bucky took a step closer, placing his hand on her cheek, wiping away the fallen tear “I’m gonna miss you more doll” He pressed his forehead to hers “I promise I will” His hands now resting on her hips, he pulled her as close as he could, taking in her scent and every feature.
“I mean it James, p-please get back to me in one piece”
Bucky licked his lips “I'll always find my way back to you, you know that doll, your my best girl, the only girl for me”
Y/n nodded, pulling Bucky in for a tight hug, letting a few tears fall, “No dancing till I get back” He whispered in her ear, shivers running down her spin, “My feet don't dance like they do with you”
Bucky pulled away from the hug at the sound of shouting letting everyone know it was time to go, his eyes desperately searching hers, hoping she had the guts to say it, because even if he was brave enough to go off to war saying those words were scarier, especially saying them too her, neither of them said anything, he took one last look at her before he slowly started to turn away, his hand leaving hers.
“Wait Buck” She trailed off, his heart was pounding he thought this was it, the moment he was waiting for. She reached into her bag took out an envelope placing it in his hands “Read it later” she stood on the tip of her toes, placing a light kiss on his cheek, her lips just barely grazing the edge of his, y/n pulled away giving him a reassuring smile. He took a deep breath “I lo-“
“Tell me when you get back, I’ll be waiting for you, always” y/n whispered.
Bucky nodded, finally retreating, he couldn’t help but feel as if he should have said it anyway.
He remembers the tears threatening to spill over your eyes, but you tried to be strong. Bucky could see right through it there were so many things he wanted to tell you that night, things he should have said years prior but he never did. It was his biggest regret. He wanted to ask Steve about you as soon as he got his mind back, it hurt him not to. He knew something must have happened for it not to be one of the firth subjects that Steve talked to him about, he made up a life for you in his head. You got married and have two kids, a boy named James and a daughter named Elizabeth, you were happy and that's all Bucky wanted was for you to be happy. He tried his best to not think about how you reacted when Steve told you what happened to him on the train, he hoped you were strong like you always were, like he knew you were. But you didn’t only lose Bucky you lost Steve too, and that he can’t process what it would do to someone. Bucky signed, finally flipping the picture over, your eyes were sparkling, smile wide and toothy, your hair was perfectly done. He almost forgot how beautiful you were, almost. He gave a small smile remembering you, before he felt a tear rolling down his cheek, he ached for the life he wanted with you, one he never got, one he’ll never have.
“W-where” Bucky cleared his throat “Where did you get this?”
“They gave it to me with the rest of your stuff after the train incident, it went down with me”
Bucky nodded “Did they uh give you a letter to?”
Steve shook his head “Just that”
Sam got up and stretched to look at the picture from where he was seated at the other side of the counter “She’s beautiful, who is she?”
Bucky opened his mouth to speak but he only got your name out before he let out a weary breath, eyes not leaving your picture, all the memories flashing in his mind.
“Thats y/n, she was my first and only friend till Bucky came along, we were all ￼ inseparable after that” Steve smiled “Those two were in love, both too stubborn to do anything about” Steve laughed.
Sam smiled “Sounds like him”
“She was everything, she still is” Bucky croaked out, eyes meeting Steve’s “What happened, after you know”
Steve eye’s went to the floor “We should sit”
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𝐖𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 | 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈- 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧
Chapter VII | Series Masterlist
Word Count: 2.7k
Warnings: DEATH, dead body mention (nothing graphic). Major depression and grief. I’m sorry (I’d elaborate more but spoilers). I will say that this chapter goes deep into the feelings of grief, so if that is a sensitive topic for you, this is your warning.
A/N: Remember a few weeks ago when I said that one of my own works made me cry? Well… this chapter may or may not be what broke me. I’m sorry.
Some days taking care of Rebecca were good, some weren’t. It was odd how familiar the entire thing felt- helping her bathe, feeding her when she wasn’t able to feed herself, petting her hair until she fell asleep, it all reminded you of when she was a baby. Not much had changed, only now she could form coherent sentences. That is, if she had enough energy to do so.
When she did talk, she told you everything about her life, even more than she did when you were just a friend to her. She talked about her college days, about Rose- she really did love her, and it killed you that you never got to meet her- and she’d talk about her parents. There were so many people who loved Rebecca, so many people who made her who she was. It hurt like hell knowing you weren’t one of them until now, but more than anything, you wished that every single one of them were still here so you could meet them and thank them. Thank them for making her who she was, for taking care of your baby girl. Rebecca was raised by strangers to you, but they did a pretty damn good job doing it. You couldn’t help but wonder how different she would’ve turned out had you or Bucky never gone missing.
Rebecca gently shut her eyes, signaling that you could relax for a few hours while she slept. If it’d been any other person, you’d be off the clock. You’d be tired and worn out. But this was your baby. You would go to the ends of the earth and beyond to make sure she was healthy. After kissing her forehead gently- something you did every time she fell asleep as a baby- you made your way out to the living room, where Bucky was sat waiting for you.
“How’s our little girl doing?” he asked. You plopped next to him, his arm instinctively wrapping around you as you cuddled into his side. Over the time the two of you had spent together, Bucky remembered more and more about you. First, he remembered your wedding. Then the day you met, the many nights he’d knock on your door in the middle of the night just to kiss you, and nearly all of your pregnancy. The memory that hurt the most was saying goodbye to you, right before he left for the last time.
Oh, how he wished things were different. He wished he could turn back time, fake being sick and never go to war in the first place. He’d live out his days with you, taking care of Rebecca until he took his last breath, hopefully with his two best girls by his side. His aura was so full of love and warmth every time he was around the two of you, he always felt warm and fuzzy every time he looked back and thought about the 40s. He liked those days. But that was a completely different life. The one he was living now, though he was trying to get that warm and fuzzy feeling back, didn’t feel the same. He still loved you, he knew that for a fact. But he couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t the life he was meant to live.
“She’s still running a fever.” You said, “But don’t worry, she’s still our happy girl.”
Bucky kissed the top of your head. He didn’t want to imagine what was likely about to happen. He couldn’t avoid it, as much as he wanted to. But he told himself that no matter how bad it got, no matter how hurt he felt, he would help you through it. You were the one to carry her for nine months, feel her kick from inside of you, nurse her and sing her to sleep as a baby. You were the one who managed to find her after all this, and now you were the one taking care of her again. You were in for a world of hurt, and though you were denying it and remaining positive, Bucky couldn’t avoid the truth.
Allowing yourself to relax for the first time all day, you listened as Bucky talked about his latest mission with Sam. To your objections, Bucky continued fighting. You were upset by his decision to keep putting himself in danger, but after hearing why he wanted to continue, there was no talking him out of it. He felt as though he owed the world something- something good. He’d spent decades hurting others- becoming an Avenger was his way of repaying his debts and clearing his guilty conscience.
You felt your eyes get heavy and your mind start to wander. Slowly, Bucky’s words began to fade, and you took in a deep sigh. You hardly got to relax like this anymore, with all the worrying, fighting, and working. The couch was too comfortable, Bucky’s body was just warm enough, and you dozed off. Bucky couldn’t even be upset, he knew how hard you worked and that you deserved to rest. Plus, you looked adorable as you slept, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.
Bucky often found himself wondering how you still chose to be with him. After everything, you still saw him as who he used to be and who he had the potential of becoming. You didn’t see the monster HYDRA made him. You didn’t see the man who’d killed hundreds of people. You still chose to be his life partner, seeing him as your downstairs neighbor from Brooklyn who you fell in love with. Tracing your jawline with his finger, Bucky couldn’t help but think about how strong you were compared to him. Taking care of Rebecca, helping him remember his old life, adjusting almost immediately to a new life and continuing to be wonderful and kind- you could handle anything, and you did it all without him. That, above everything, made him fall deeper in love with you.
Gently, Bucky picked you up bridal style and moved you to your new bedroom. Since moving into Rebecca’s house to take care of her, Bucky let you have the only other bedroom while he slept on the floor in the living room. He still considered himself your husband, he was still very much in love with you- but he didn’t want you to be there when his nightmares came. They were worse than they were before. Now that he was remembering his life with you, he was also remembering all the years in between the 40s and now. All the people he’d hurt, all the lives he’d taken. You always told him that you had no problem with him sleeping next to you, but he knew it was for your own good. He didn’t feel deserving of a bed, and would much rather take the floor, in a room where you couldn’t hear or feel him wake up.
Three hours had gone by. Three peaceful hours. Bucky had managed to get a few minutes of shuteye, and you were particularly comfortable in the spot Bucky had tucked you in. Your alarm went off to check on Becca, one you set every three hours in the night, just to check if she needed anything. Bucky heard the familiar alarm from the bedroom, followed by the door opening and your footsteps heading over to Rebecca’s room.
This life you led with Bucky, it had a funny way of working. The minute things started to feel perfect, something just had to be taken away.
Bucky’s eyelids started to get heavy again, the idea of getting a few more minutes of sleep in creeping into his mind. Then he heard you wail from the bedroom, and he was immediately on his feet, any feeling of tiredness gone the second he heard your distress.
He ran as quickly as he could to the main bedroom, eyes fixated on you crying in front of Rebecca’s bed. Rebecca looked exactly as she did when she fell asleep. She hadn’t moved a single muscle.
Rebecca was gone. His biggest fear, the inevitable, had become a reality.
“No, no, no,” you kept repeating, a sob emitting from the back of your throat. This was the deepest, most guttural pain you’d ever felt. Like someone had stabbed you in your heart and ripped it out with their bare hand. You knew this would happen. You knew it had to happen, Rebecca was in her seventies, but you wanted so badly for it to never happen. That she would live forever, or at least until after you and Bucky were gone. Not now. Not like this.
You heard Bucky crying with you. He was holding you while you cried and screamed into his chest, painfully listening and holding onto you.
Your baby, the old woman who you were able to identify from a mile away as your daughter, was gone. Your heart ached as it shattered in your chest, leaving broken pieces that were beyond repair. That baby who you’d worked so hard for, who you loved with every ounce of you and more, who lived an entire life that you were so proud of. Gone overnight.
When the coroner came, you felt nothing but numbness. You watched as they took Rebecca off of her bed and onto the stretcher, though Bucky could tell it would’ve been better if you looked away. You had to lie through your tears, saying you and Bucky were her caretakers. Not her parents- that was Edward and Marjorie, and they were long gone. Only you and Bucky knew the complicated truth, and you wanted to scream it out to the world, but it would only make things worse.
Though your heart still ached every day you were without her, and you found yourself randomly crying throughout your days, you found a little more comfort every day. It wasn’t the same kind of comfort you once knew, and you knew it was likely you’d never feel the same way again, but little things added up. You found support through Bucky, Steve, Sam, Natasha, and everyone else at the Compound. They made it clear to you and Bucky that you always had a home with them. And though you weren’t ready to step back into Rebecca’s home just yet, you knew you had a room at the Compound waiting for you.
The room was just as bare as it was when you left it, not a single indication that anyone had ever lived here or put any effort into decorating it. You ended up exactly where you started, confused and lonely in a bare room. Only now, you had one of the people you’d been yearning for. And while having Bucky was great, he didn’t fill the void that Rebecca had left behind.
Bucky approached you slowly, watching you reach into your pocket for the folded up picture of Rebecca’s first birthday. She’d given it to you shortly after you told her the truth, claiming you needed it more than she did.
“You hungry?” Bucky asked, wrapping his arms around you from behind, “We can go somewhere if you want.”
He was trying his best. He didn’t know what he could do or say to make you feel better. He didn’t know what anyone else could do or say to make him feel better. He lost his daughter, too. Bucky felt the numbness. The void. The heartache. And he wanted more than anything to make it go away; if not for him, then for you.
“How do people move on?” you asked, placing the picture in front of you on the mantle and looking at it. You looked so happy. So did Bucky. Rebecca’s first birthday was a day you’d always remember- one of your last happy memories before things went south. More than anything, you wanted to go back. To hold your baby one more time, to live in that ignorant bliss. “After a loss like this? You see it in the news, people losing their children. I would think ‘If that ever happened to me,’” you shook your head, at a loss for words as you looked at the ground, “and now here I am.”
Bucky held you a little tighter as you tried to hold back the tears. You didn’t know you were capable of producing so many until now. But with the quiver of your lip, and the tears blurring your vision, you had no choice but to break. Turning around to face Bucky, you buried your head in his chest. “I just want my life back, James. I want things to be the way they used to. Before everything.”
Bucky’s heart was already broken the minute he saw Rebecca, but hearing your words and how hurt and hopeless you sounded, it only made the damage worse. Both of you had produced enough tears to fill an ocean, and you knew that pain would stay as long as both of you were still alive.
“I don’t know what I can say to make you feel better, I’m just as lost as you are.” Bucky admitted, his voice nearly a whisper, “But I love you. And I love her. Nothing will ever change that.” He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.
“I’m not hungry.”
“I’m just tired.” You found yourself saying that a lot. To avoid talking to anyone or hearing the overwhelming amount of condolences you were receiving, you slept. It seemed like all you ever did was sleep nowadays.
“Okay. I’ll let you rest.” Bucky said, pulling away before you stopped him.
“Can you stay? Please?” You had a hint of desperation in your eyes.
Bucky always seemed to be unable to say no to you. Even back then, the very idea of upsetting you took a toll on him, so he always bent over backwards to make sure your needs were met. On your first date when he stole an apple for you- he was perfectly capable of buying one for you himself, but he wanted to see you smile. When you were pregnant, all the times he’d make his way to the convenience store at an ungodly hour because you were craving Peppermint Patties- he was on a first-name basis with the owner and he was about as involved in your pregnancy as Bucky was with how often he bought the candies from him. And now. Your heart was in pieces. You’d just experienced the biggest heartbreak imaginable, a heartbreak no person should ever go through. And you were asking him to stay with you. To lay in the same bed as you. He had to oblige, because if it made you feel just an ounce better, it was worth it.
He laid in bed next to you, stiff on the mattress that was a little too soft for comfort. No matter, he could ignore it for now.
You wrapped your arm around Bucky, holding onto him in a spooning position that made your heart feel slightly better.
The idea of peace seemed far away. Maybe it would never come at all. Right now, despite holding onto your husband and feeling the bond you two created decades ago grow stronger, you felt as though you would never feel truly happy again. There was still a pain that would never leave. But there was an understanding between you and Bucky that things would always be different now, and that you’d have to help each other through all the low moments.
But you knew you would help each other. You were all Bucky had, and he was all you had now. So you held onto him tight, fearing that if you let go, he would just be another thing you would lose in this new, harsh reality.
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Hi Em!!!!!!!!! How are you love!!?? Over here with the worst month of my life 💔😓
Can I request a Bucky x Fem! Reader oneshot?? ✨❤️
Everyone except Tony and Wanda hated the reader because of her family, who had been part of the creation of the winter soldier. When a simple mission goes awry and Bucky is seriously injured, Steve, Nat, and Sam blame the reader for breaking away from him while she was downloading information about the Winter Soldier's mysterious nurse. Y/n tries to get close to him and Steve doesn't allow it, she gets really upset and confesses that she was Bucky's nurse, that it was that project and that her family never loved her, but they didn't believe her until she put a hand in Bucky (her crush) who, when he wakes up, watches her fall to the ground and panics for not knowing what had happened and the last thing she said before everything's went black is that she loves him. Once the tower, they explain everything that had happened while they are in the medical wing waiting for her to open her eyes and tell him everything she feels for her.
Something like enemies to lovers? Hahahahahaha
Thank you so much beauty ✨❤️ greetings from Argentina ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Of course! Starting now! 💕
Heres the fic!
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Synopsis: You are a shapeshifting mutant that has an alter-ego of a cat. Bucky is a quiet man. Cats like quiet places. Probably a good match.
Themes: Fluff, slight angst
Warnings: Mentions of trauma, Bucky's past, death
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader
A/N: I'm treading chapter by chapter lmao uni life is so hectic I can barely find time to check my tumblr but thank you for those who like my stories still! Btw, this is another chapter, I hope y'all like it! As always if you like the story please leave a like, an ask, a reply, or a reblog! TIA! ❤️
You groaned and cleared your throat. The first rays of the sun slithered through the small space inbetween the curtains, the light seeping warmly into your skin. It was a good sensation, as always. You opened your eyes and blinked, your vision focusing in and out. Taking a deep breath, the lull rising of your chest caused you to feel the heavy limb draped on your tummy. It made you smile.
Pivoting your head to the side, you saw Bucky's sleeping face. Small puffs of warm breath escaped his parted lips, fanning across your temples and forehead. You smiled wider. He looked peaceful, like an angel. You were almost tempted to wake him up to see his blue eyes. You had been used to seeing it by now the moment you wake up in mornings and before you sleep at night.
It had been about two months since you both had a mutual understanding. You knew from the get go you wanted to be with him, as he wanted to be with you, too. Everything was smooth sailing with him, and the team was happier to know about the unspoken thing between you and Bucky. You remember so well of Sam's incessant teasing and Nat's as well. Both of you weren't able to escape them for like a week, if it wasn't for Steve admonishing them, you knew they wouldn't stop.
Only a few minutes later, you felt Bucky stir from beside you. You heard him hum under his breath, felt how his metal arm hugged you tighter and pull you closer to his body, and how he murmured as soon as his nose buried on your hair. All those years you've lived—wandering and searching about, the only other time you had felt serenity was in his arms. And you never wanted it end.
“Mornin',” came his groggy voice. It tugged on your chest in the best way, “beautiful, as always.”
You chuckled and shook your head, “Are you trying to charm me early in the morning, Barnes?”
“I could be,” he teased, his lips making contact on your temple. “I know you like it.”
Your chuckle turned into a laugh and Bucky gladly listened to your laughter, his heart filled with the best kind of warmth. “You're a total charmer.”
He hummed once again before planting a deep kiss on your lips, slowly draping his body over yours. Bucky placed both his elbows on either side of your head, fingers tenderly caressing your scalp. You were almost out of breath when he broke the kiss.
“How 'bout we take a morning walk? Sun's up,” he smiled, “thought you might like getting sunlight and all that.”
You reciprocated his smile, “I like that.”
“What are you doing?”
Bucky asked, his eyeballs darting down to the side, watching the graceful movements of your hand. He felt the warmth of the golden light graze his temple. “What are those?”
“Flowers,” your fingers pushed through the locks of his hair and a flower materialized on top of the shell of his ear, “symbolizes the beautiful thing that is your mind.”
Bucky had been sitting with you for almost half an hour since you both decided to take an early morning walk. No one was awake yet and everything around you was peaceful. The sun has shone quite boldly already and you took it to your advantage to create a flower crown on Bucky's head.
You noticed how Bucky quieten after what you said, you know too well by now what's inside his head.
“That wasn't you, Bucky.” You sighed, “Whatever they made you do, wasn't you. It wasn't your fault. And it will never be.”
“But I still did it...” his voice was low, “didn't I?”
You took a deep breath and exhaled, looking straight to his eyes right after. Even though you had completely healed his mind, the memories of his past still clung to him. It refused to let him go because he was the one who shackled himself into its claws. He can't let it go.
“Yes, you did.” You blinked and turned your head to one side, “Though you had a choice not to, you still did. You pulled the trigger. You pushed the knife through a person's flesh. You took lives. But you have to remember, you didn't do it because you wanted to. But because it was the only thing you could've done at the moment,”
“You didn't know who you were, Buck. You didn't even know who Bucky was. Who James Buchanan Barnes was. They took him away from you for all those years and used you to their advantage. You never felt like a person, a human being. Only a machine of destruction and death.” Bucky listened intently to your every word, as though it was his lifeline. “You may have a moral consciousness inside you, but that meant useless since you have lost your self-identity. Maybe for you at that moment, killing every hit was the only thing that gave you sense of purpose or a sense of semblance to yourself. You grappled so hard to remember who you were since Steve wasn't around to remind you that biggest and most important piece of you.”
Bucky was still silent, digesting what you had said. Maybe, maybe he was the worst. Maybe it was true he never deserved a second chance in life. But there you were infront of him, looking and staring at him with all the care in your eyes. And he thought maybe, since you saw the light in him—he could believe there was something good in himself, too. That maybe he isn't so bad, after all.
“No one can undo the past, not even me, Buck.” You smiled at him, touching his hand—both flesh and metal, “But we can move on. Do better. Be better. We owe that one to ourselves. To the self you have lost for almost a century.”
He nodded, the tears accumulating on the sides of his eyes. “You always know what to say.”
“A perk of being an old maid.”
He chuckled, curling his hand into yours. “Still beautiful, though. You're the wisest person I've ever known.”
“And you're the most beautiful and interesting human I've had the honor to ever come across,” you grinned, caressing the flowers on his head, “I'm lucky to be here with you.”
The day went on and you and Bucky were stuck doing the same usual thing whenever there wasn't any spare missions for either both of you. For Bucky it wasn't just another day, though. Each day he could spend with you was a date. Even if it's just you two prepping coffee, or making omelette, or watching the same TV shows over and over again. It wasn't just familiarity that made him head over heels for you. He knew he had found a safe place in you, and as selfish as it may sound, he wanted you all for himself.
Bucky plopped the pillow into its rightful place and fixed the sheets when you told him you were to go to the adjoining bathroom. You had been feeling the insisting ache within the region of your chest for almost a week now, and you had to excuse yourself from Bucky to hopefully discern it wasn't what you thought it was.
As soon as you closed the door, you spread your arms and opened your palms, a faint light illuminating the corners of the bathroom. You created a barrier around you, so Bucky couldn't hear the noise if ever there would be.
You stared at your face in the mirror, though with the barrier present, your reflection was clear. Breathing hard, you pushed your opened palm on your chest—your form changing. The orbs of your eyes shone a gold light, and you saw the streaks of the same light piercieng out of your chest.
You felt how your heart sank. It was happening again.
No. Not now. Not when you finally found something worth holding on to, a person who has been the rest and calm you were longing for billions of years. You had warned yourself. And yet you didn't listen.
But you knew better. You had to go. You knew what was to happen if you don't. And not only Bucky would have to pay the consequences if you were to be selfish for love.
Love. What a word. You love him. You never thought a day would come and you would actually adore someone in your pitiful existence. The sensation was unlike any other you'd experienced. You had felt rage, loathing, and mercy. Nothing prepared you for something so human yet an unparalleled force you never saw coming.
The light from your eyes died and so did the one from your chest. For now. It'll only grow even more evident as days would go by. Until the day you'd dissolve into nothing but a globe of light—reuniting with nature once again to keep balance.
A knock took you out of your trance, making you face the closed door.
“Babe?” came Bucky's voice, “is everything all right?”
You immediately took down the barrier you created minutes ago and finger combed your hair. You faked a smile but more for yourself.
“Yes,” you replied, reaching to open the door, revealing a worried Bucky, “I'm fine. Everything's fine. Let's sleep?”
He snaked his hand around the small of your back and pulled you to his chest. Bucky closed the bathroom door for you and walked you with him afterwards, with you falling beneath him on the mattress.
“Good night,” he murmured, dragging the sheets to cover both your bodies.
The look on his face clenched at your heart. But you did your best to smile back at him.
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SAME PROMISES, DIFFERENT PERSON ( ALTERNATIVE ENDING )
Summary: Bucky has always been a man of his words. Just not to you or so you thought.
Author’s note: Alternative ending for all you heartbroken hoes. Reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated so please do leave comments.
DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE OR DO ANY OF THAT CHEAP SHIT.
Pairings: Bucky x reader(any race)
Word count: 4.5k
Warnings: angst, ANGST, ANGST, fluff in the end
“ We could either get out here or you could get drunk and give him the speech of his life and make a dramatic exit.” That makes you laugh for the first time since you arrived at the wedding location. It felt weird hearing the sound of laughter coming out of your mouth, especially considering where you were and you could see that Sarah was genuinely happy to hear you laugh. She looked a bit surprised too but, you ignored that.
“ As much as I am tempted to do both, especially the latter, I think I’ll pass. I read in this blog run by a divorced lady that this can be a way to get closure.” Sarah looks at you with the same emotion you’ve seen in her eyes ever since he broke up with you for your best friend. Pity and worry. As much as you appreciated Sarah, you did not want to be looked at like that. It only further reminded you of why she worried so much. So, you look away and admire the beautifully decorated place. They really did put a lot of thought into the wedding. There were lilies adorning the place and everything about the whole place looked like something out of a fairytale just like how Bucky wanted his wedding to be and now when you think about it maybe he was talking to you about the wedding he wanted with Leila but you were so stupidly in love with him to notice that and thought it was about the two of you. Maybe he had been thinking about how his wedding would be with Leila while he was with you.
“ You don't owe them anything, (Y/N).” Sarah says rubbing your shoulder comfortably as the both of you sit on your cushioned chairs, waiting for the ceremony to begin. She was right, you did not owe them anything and you knew it. But you were doing this for yourself. Seeing him for the last time and accepting the truth would finally help you to move on with your life. It was about time to have your life back in your own hands.
You thought you were doing well after the grand break up. You had a job that kept you occupied most of the time and most importantly you had Sarah and Sam. Each night you cried, or felt down they were always there for you doing anything they could to make sure you were doing well. Or as well as you could be doing for someone who was dumped by her boyfriend of 5 years for her best friend. Even though that painful throb in your heart was still persistent every time you came across a picture of the happy couple having the time of their lives, you started feeling hopeful again that maybe you can have a future without him.
But constant peace had not been something that was a part of your life for a long time.
You were finally back to the house which you and Sarah shared now after an exhausting day of work. The only thing on your mind was to get into some comfortable clothes and sleep through the weekend. Or maybe even watch that one movie Sam wanted to watch. Caught up in your head you did not notice the guests as you walked over to the kitchen to grab yourself a glass of water, until Sarah had called out your name and there they were, the oh so lovely couple sitting on the couch giving you cautious smiles. But all you could focus on was how they looked picture perfect together, Bucky’s arm around her shoulder and his other hand holding her’s on his lap and they fit together so perfectly. Not even a year ago it was your hand holding his, your legs draped on his lap, your fingers raking through his soft locks as he whispered how would do anything to stay like this forever.
You were finally finding the lost broken pieces of your shattered heart and you would not let them ruin your healing process. And the reason for their visit did not ruin your healing process. It ruined you even more than before, your heart crumbled and broke into even more pieces, a sick painful throb made its way to your chest and even more pieces of your heart were lost and you knew you by the agony you were feeling that they would remain lost.
They were there to invite you to their wedding. That word left you stunned in the worst way possible. A bloody wedding. It hadn't even been a year since yours and Bucky’s separation or since he and Leila had started dating. That's when your eyes fell on the lovely diamond ring resting on her finger twinkling under the rays of sunshine pouring in through the window. You didn't even know that they had gotten engaged. No matter how much the whole situation was affecting you, you put on your unbothered facade and congratulated them and kept conversing. Sarah saw right through you and kept sending you glances that conveyed how proud she was of you for staying strong in front of them.
Bucky and Leila wanted to invite you to their wedding in person because apparently you’re a very important person in their lives. They sure did have a lot of funny ways of showing it . Like, when Bucky confessed his undying love for your best friend a few days after your five year anniversary and said how it had been her all and how she was the one for him. Or when, Leila decided to set you up with one of his friends to go on a double date with her and Bucky not even a week after he left you. You hated how they were acting like you were not affected by the break up. It was like you and Bucky didn't even share a past. Like it was Leila instead of you who had been in a 5 year relationship with him.
“ The ceremony is about to start.” Sarah said, nudging you with her elbow to snap you out of your dreadful reminiscing. Taking a deep breath and giving her a small nod, you looked up at the bright blue sky trying to calm yourself down.
“ I’m here.” Sam says as he took a seat beside you and the boys took seats beside their mother after giving you “hey (Y/N)”s and you ruffled their hair in response.
“ What took you three so long?” You ask genuinely curious as to why the three first insisted you and Sarah leave before them and then arrived only minutes before the ceremony.The three did a really bad job at hiding their panic as they exchanged glances.
“ Sam, what's going on ?” You hear Sarah ask , her voice slightly raising and a smirk made its way onto your face thinking about the pleasant time you're going to have at home watching Sarah giving Sam a hard time to get him to tell what he was doing and by the looks of it you dont think its something Sarah would like hearing about.
“Noth-” Sam was cut off by the guests erupting in whispers.
“The groom is here.” You hear someone say, making you close your eyes instinctively, preparing yourself to look at the man who promised you the world once upon a time. You open your eyes to see him walk towards the altar where he would wait for his soon-to-be wife to arrive. He looked ethereal in his wedding suit and slicked back hair. Under the golden rays, he was glowing, wearing the biggest and brightest smile. You don't think you have ever seen him this happy. Not when you used to bring him a flower every night when you came home after work, not when you planned a surprise rooftop dinner date and slow danced under the moonlight. It hurt to think about how you never got to see him this happy and hopeful while he was with you, when Leila had an effect on him that you never had during the whole of your relationship. But then again, it had been a while since Leila owned his heart.
As he stood at the altar, his eyes already glistening with happy tears, you couldn't help but notice how he didn't even spare you a glance. The least he could do was acknowledge your presence.
“Breathe.”You hear Sam whisper as his fingers laced through yours and you do as he says which draws Sarah’s attention.
“You're going to be just fine.” She says as her hand repeats the same action as her brother’s from a few seconds ago. You allowed yourself to hurt now and feel the pain and betrayal. It was better to get over with dealing with all these emotions than denying keeping them for later. The excruciating pain swallowed you. Your heart ached, your stomach twisted in sorrow and tears threatened to spill from your eyes and your emotions compounded even more when you heard the music play as an indication of the bride’s arrival. Tears were freely rolling down Bucky’s cheeks as well as yours. The only difference was that his were of joy and yours of the misery the bride and groom had caused you. As the bride walked down the aisle arm in arm with her father, your chest tightened as you recognised the gown that she was wearing. You designed that. Back in high school Leila had asked you to draw a wedding gown for her because in her eyes no one had better taste in anything other than you and she wanted you to design a dress so that she could add it to her wedding planning book that she had kept. In a different circumstance your heart would have been soaring with happiness at the sight of her wearing what you designed for her. You were convinced that your life had turned into some sick joke.
The ceremony continued, with Sam and Sarah squeezing each of your hands comfortingly, some of the guests dabbing at their eyes and giving the soon to be married couple teary smiles. A few minutes later Bucky finished saying the traditional vows but he wasn't done yet. He had a few vows that he made for her. You were starting to question your decision to come to the occasion that was only proving to be even more dreadful and miserable with each passing second.
“ Sweetheart, there's nothing that can compare to how much you mean to me and how special and lucky you make me feel everyday. There’s nothing in this world I would not trade if it means that I get to hold you and love you for the rest of my life……”
STOP. You wanted to scream at him to stop. Those were the words he spoke to you, the promise he made to you the first time the two of you made love. You were too caught up in the memory to notice Bucky’s gaze drift to you.
“ Oh sweetheart, you're so good to me. What did I ever do to deserve an angel like you?” He says nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck as the two of you lay on your bed sweating and trying to catch your breath after he made love to you for the first time. Giggling at what he said, you press a kiss to his forehead. “ You deserve the entire world and more, love.” He pressed his forehead to yours before saying, “ Sweetheart, there's nothing that can compare to how much you mean to me and how special and lucky you make me feel everyday. There’s nothing in this world I would not trade if it means that I get to hold you and love you for the rest of my life.” He sealed the soon to be broken promise with a soft kiss.
“....You have taught me so much about true love and how deserving I am of it. I promise to cherish you and make you feel as loved as you have made me feel for as long as I’m alive…” He stops to swallow his tears and releases a teary laugh to cover the anguish he was wallowing in. But, you did not notice that either. All you can focus on is how he made the same promise on your birthday that you celebrate with him, 2 years into the relationship.
“ You baked a cake for me?!” You couldn't help but laugh at how adorable he looked when he was nervous.
“ I tried.” He said, smiling shyly at you before gesturing for you to cut the cake and so you did.
“ This is so good.” You said after taking a bite and the way his eyes lit up was enough of a birthday present for you. “Baby is there anything you're not good at?” you ask, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“ God, I love you so much.” He said before going in for a passionate kiss.
“ The cake does taste good.” He smirks cheekily before going in for another kiss.
“Sweetheart, happy birthday.” He continues in a soft voice, “ You have taught me so much about true love and how deserving I am of it. I promise to cherish you and make you feel as loved as you have made me feel for as long as I’m alive.” And like that another promise was made that he would definitely break.
By now your hand was clamped over your mouth as you silently sobbed. You don't think you can ever get over this kind of intense pain. You felt so used like he was experimenting and practising everything about being a boyfriend and in a relationship with you so he could be the best for Leila and that realisation only caused more tears to flow down your heavy eyes.
“ (Y/N), come on, let's leave. You have been so strong all along but this is not healthy for you. You don't have to put yourself through this.” Sam says as Sarah smoothes down your hair. You could see that they were very concerned, borderline panicking, for you at the moment. You wanted to explain to them what tipped you over the edge but you were too afraid to open your mouth so you just shook your head no and proceeded to take a deep calming breath.
“... these are the words you never have and never will deserve to hear from any man after what you did to me and (Y/N). How you manipulated us.” The last part of his vows left a tense silence in the air after shocked gasps from the crowd. To say that you were caught off guard was an understatement. You heard a confused whimper leaving your mouth as your lips parted before Leila’s shrill voice broke the confused and stunned silence.
“ Bucky, baby, what are you talking about?” Leila asks, panicking as she holds his face in her hands, which soon were smacked away by Bucky as if the mere touch caused his skin to burn. For the first time that day, his eyes drifted to yours and how tortured and in pain he looked caused a different type of pain in your heart. His eyes spoke a million words as they bore into yours before Leila’s father interrupted the intimate moment.
“ How dare you talk about my daughter like that?” He questioned as he walked up to him and grabbed him by his collar. Bucky was eerily calm by his reaction and the smirk that curled up on Bucky’s lips sent a shiver down your spine.
“ What the absolute fuck is happening?” Sam whispered, his eyes not leaving the chaotic sight in front of him. You wanted to respond but like most of the guests, you were too shocked.
“ Oh you’re going to see how much of a manipulative snake your precious daughter is . Every single soul present here is going to see her true fucking colours.” A collective gasp follows as he shouts the last part at the crowd sitting in front of him.
“ Everyone’s going to know what she did to me and my girl.” Those precious blues shining with tears were on you and you could feel that his eyes were not the only ones on you. You mouth a ‘what?’ at him to which he gives a reassuring smile as if saying that ‘everything will be fine’.
Through the whole unfolding events, Leila was and is still crying, clutching onto her father’s arm. But you knew her way too well to know that those were not tears of being misunderstood. Those were tears that someone would shed after being caught for doing something unforgivable, like ruining someone’s life.
“ So, how is this going to go , Leila? Are you going to explain to everyone what the fuck you did or do you want me to bring the evidence and show everything you did?” Bucky asks with his arms folded across his chest.
“ I don't know what youre talking about, baby.” She sobbed in response and by how she was acting you would have believed her if you didn't know her all too well.
“ I’ll be a bit more specific then.” He continues as his voice raises,” I’m talking about how you tricked me into believing that (Y/N) cheated on me and how instead of confronting her I should hurt her the same way she supposedly hurt me by saying that I was in love with you.” Your hand flew to clutch your chest at the revelation. Leila, your best friend since you were 12 ruined both yours and Bucky’s life just because she didn't want him to be happy with you.
“ Bucky how- I- who told you that?” Leila gasps as her facade of being the victim finally wears off. You wanted to do nothing more than tear the hair off her head and punch her in the face but you had to wait until he was done. You wanted to hear the whole story from her mouth and then you can have a go at giving her a slap or two.
“ Oh how did I know?” He lets out a dark chuckle before continuing,”I think you forgot that I’m a supersoldier . I heard you loud and clear when you were bragging to that methhead fucky buddy of yours about how you made your best friend’s boyfriend leave her for you. After that it wasnt that tough getting every single detail from him considering how he was running an illegal drug business and lets just say that you won't be seeing him any time soon. Now go on and explain to our guests what you did. Bet they are so excited to hear what precious little Leila did.”
You could see the gears turning in Leila’s head, trying to come up with some excuse but, by the way she sighed, you knew she gave up and was going to tell the truth.
“ I- I’m so sorry for hurting both of you. I-” Leila’s trembling, meek voice was cut off by Bucky.
“ Stop fucking apologizing. You and I both know that you’re only sorry because you got caught and just get on with telling what the fuck you did.”
“ Y-yes I will. I fell so in love with Bucky while he and (Y/N) were together and she always got the best things all the time. Every single time.” You noticed all too well how her tone became venomous as he talked about you. You were so ready at this point to drag this bitch to hell yourself. You deserved all the best things in the world and that's why you got them. Unlike Leila, you were not selfish or manipulative or any thing of those sorts. You always did what you had to do without expecting a reward for everything. You hated how she was acting like it was your fault that she didn’t the supposed good things in life.
“ I needed him. He was just so perfect and he was right there every single time. So, I took her to a club and called up this guy from her office who liked her a lot. Told him that she was interested in him and how unhappy she was in her relationship with Bucky. I convinced him that she liked him just as much as he did her and she was just playing hard to get so, he shouldn't give up on her the entire night. ” Henry. The guy from work who just wouldn't give up no matter how many times you told him that you had a man who you loved more than anything. You remember that night in the club how he randomly showed up and wouldn't stop flirting with you and when you had tried to find Leila, she didn't appear to be anywhere.
“ He made it seem like she was with him and every time he touched her or was close to her, I took a picture, made it seem like she was cheating on him and sent them to Bucky. I then met up with him and convinced him to not confront her and to hurt her back just as bad by telling (Y/N) that he was in love with me. He was vulnerable and I took care of him and then we started dating.” She ended what she had to say with a sob raking through her. You couldn’t believe what the absolute fresh fuck had just happened. You felt so betrayed. You couldn't fathom how a human being could be so cruel. So vicious. The whole sight of the wedding venue would have been amusing in a way if you weren't so stunned. Leila’s father was staring at her like he didn't know who the person in front of him was while her mother was weeping in her place. Some of the guests left the place and the remaining were chattering and shaking their heads as if being somehow related to her was an embarrassment and no, you couldn't blame them. Sam’s face was buried in his hands, probably trying to comprehend the chaos and Sarah was whispering something to AJ and Cass.
Bucky was seething, absolutely blinded by rage as you saw him talk to her through gritted teeth. If your mind wasn't in a hazy state due to the overwhelming feelings you would have been able to hear him. You had to get away from everyone, everything was just too much, too fast.
Without a second thought you were hurriedly walking towards where your car was parked ignoring your name being shouted behind you by Sarah, Sam and Bucky. A few more steps later, a strong hand wrapped around your arm and you were pulled into Bucky’s Suit clad chest. For the first time in what seemed like forever, you were staring at those blue eyes where you once found home and surprisingly still do.
“ Please listen to me, sweetheart, please.” Bucky begged, tears streaming down his face.
“ I’m so tired, Bucky. So fucking tired of all this. When will it stop?” You say defeatedly as you rest your forehead on his chest.
“I know baby I know but please, love, just hear me out. I have so much to say.” He begs as he caresses your cheek.
“ (Y/N), do you want us to stay?” You hear Sarah question. You turn to give her and Sam a grateful smile and reply with a ‘no’. They give you a nod before walking away leaving you alone with Bucky.
“ Let's sit in the car.” You say as you walk towards your car and he follows with his hand hesitantly lingering on your arm.
“ Let me start from the beginning, yeah? Just sit back and listen please.”
You give him a nod, looking at the steering wheel.
“ I’m so sorry for everything I have put you through. I should have asked you about the pictures but I was so fucking hurt. I was so blinded by the betrayal I felt and I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. When Leila told me to tell you that I was in love with her I knew how much it would hurt you so I did.” He stops to take a deep shaky breath trying to collect himself together.
“I felt so vulnerable and alone and she was there comforting me and I fell into her trap and started dating her. But it felt so wrong, baby. She just wasn't you. But all I could think about were those damn pictures. And then I heard her talking over the phone and sweetheart, I lost it.I didnt think I would have survived through the pain and guilt I was feeling for what I was putting you through. But I stayed just to hurt her and make her feel the same betrayal she made us feel. I convinced her that I was in love with her. I gave her all the hope I could just to make her experience the hell she put us through. The hell she made me put you through. I had to stay with her for that and I knew if I saw you, my plan wouldn't work. I'm so incredibly sorry, sweetheart. It was so fucking painful for me being away from you and with someone who wasn't you, who could never be you. I'm so sorry." He finishes as he drops his head into his hands and sobs, the sound cutting through your chest like a knife.
" Bucky, you could have told me. You made my life a living hell for almost a year. You fucking ruined me."
" I know honey I know it was like that for me too but I was so consumed by the betrayal and rage I felt towards her and I had to. She deserved to feel that and I couldn't just let her get away with what she did."
" What now Bucky, I'm suddenly supposed to ignore the past few months and act like you didn't ruin me?" You questioned as his eyes widened.
" No baby, I just need to make up to you. I don't want this to be the end of us. Please give me a chance, love."
" This won't be easy Bucky I need time and we need to go slow but you can start by giving me a kiss " Your heart felt full at the gorgeous smile on his face before he pulled you in for a passionate kiss. You felt the love, the longing, the utter adoration he felt for you through a simple kiss and you knew it would be a long rocky road before things would go back to normal but you would get there. You and Bucky would get there together with eachother.
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